I know taht this probably isnât the best place to do this but... I really need to take this off of my chest. Iâve been going through a lot of things that made me want to say this and alert other young girls who could do the same wrong choices that i did(or maybe hte lack of them). Iâve been sexualy abused when I was 12 years old by someone very close to me.
Basicaly, i was at a sleepover party whit my school friends. Almost all of us where of the same class, except for two. One was a girl, who was a childhood friend of mine, and the other was a boy, one or two years older than us, who was the older brother of de host. I will call him John. So, me and john have met one year before the sleepover, and we passed for some shit for a long time. Both of us were bulliied, both of us took medicine for Depression, and both of us were uncomfortable with social interactions. Note: i started dating a wonderful guy, my current boyfriend, erlier in the same year, but it was an Online thing in the time. So, me and John were eating pizza, chatting and things like that, when he Kissed me. I didnâtliked it, but since it was technically my first kiss, i didnât say nothing. I was confused, and i didnât wanted to be alone, and feared taht my boyfriend could be a pedo or something. He didnât stop there, he continue to kiss me in this separate room and started touching me. He didnât rape me, but I think even if he did, I wouldnât have said nothing. I was so, SO scared of being alone and I didnât wanted to be that girl in school who never kissed, never had a boyfriend, never had a relationship, for the matter, So i let him do what he wnated. I thank god, or whatever is up there, because The girl i metioned before, my childhood friend, entered, and he stopped and acted like nothing happened. However, I didnât told her. I was embarassed of myself. Embarassed of what he did to me. My parents still donât know, and only this year I told my boyfriend about it.Â
Iâm sorry if this triggered you by any means, and Iâm more sorry if something like this happened to you. But I think that with this horrible experience, I learned that I matter. I larned that I donât deserve anything, only because iâm desesperate. I deserve choice. This happened only two years ago, and I still hate myself for not telling my mom, neither my friends. Bye everyone, and good day/noon/night for you.
janainaart
kaledo-art
stormborns
gummygunk
blakekathryn
snowghoul
ellievsbear
yousharknotpass
