Adult Children Of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Familys

I want to share my life stories and experiences with others of similar upbringing, share theirs stories and provide a space where people can all talk to each other about it and feel comfortable doing so. Im still discovering and learning about this myself too and hope by sharing my stories that maybe I can help others out their experiencing the same thing. Much love all 💝

[missay88-blog]

I can't even put into word how helpless you feel watching someone you love so much be taken over by addiction. Feeling like no matter what you do, it's wrong. When you know your enabling it but your scared of what might happen if stop. To look at someone and barely see the person you once knew, watching them barely holding on by thread. Going through each day wondering if today is going to be their last. This is the one person who has always been there always put you above everything and anything but now only one thing matters and that's feeding their addiction. To do whatever needs to be done to get what they need to get from anyone they can get it from. Drinking yourself beyond control, not being able to walk but still not be able to stop, the only way you do is if you pass out. I've tried to help, tried to limit it, tried to control it but if they can't control it, I sure as all can't. I'm in a constant battle fighting their battle and accepting it is what it is and walking away because I can't bare the thought of watching someone slowly kill themselves. It's not the addiction that's hard, I understand that to a point, it is wondering when you decided to give up the fight and let it consume you. It's something that's so hard to understand unless you watch unfold in front of you & you know that there isn't a damn thing you can to help them, unless they want the help, but who is gonna fight for them when they can't even fight for themselves. I carry these worries with me constantly but I still do the best I can to carry on with my life. I know perhaps social media isn't the place for things like this but this is my release and it's not for sympathy, it's not for anyone to feel bad about the situation, it's just to show people that you never known the battles people are fighting daily and what an accomplishment it is that they got out of bed this morning. Everyone has their own shit some worse then others but all you known your pain and no matter how big or how small, it matters and you matter to 💙 #adultchildrenofalcoholics #itsokaytonotbeokay.

[missay88-blog]

[missay88-blog]

Realisation

I never ended up speaking to anyone, it’s hard to find the time to do so, well at least that’s what I tell myself anyways. Dad was really sick and couldn’t stomach food or grog without throwing it up. Took him to the docs and they gave him some tablets to stop the throwing up as well as Valium to help stop the drinking. He is doing really well, still drinking a little but only beer. He doesn’t seem overly thrilled about it but he is realising that wine is no good for him but he still would prefer it, because beer can’t give him the same ‘high’ as what wine does. But so far so good. His pay day is coming up though so that will be a tester for him there usually when the drinking uncontrollably first starts. Fingers crossed he can stick it out passed his pay day.

[missay88-blog]

First Step

Today for the first time I spoke to a professional about what’s going on with dad and I felt a weight of my shoulders instantly. I will now be arranging to speak to a counsellor who specialises in families of addicts.

[abrighterfutureisahead-blog]

It's not your fault.

If a family member is having problems with alcohol never think that it’s your fault. It’s their problem not yours. You cannot fix it nor is it your responsibility to do so. For somebody to get better they have to want to recover. They firstly have to understand and accept they have a problem if they don’t see a problem they wont see a reason to seek help. You must understand that sometimes people do not want to get help, you can encourage it all you want but you cannot force them. If you think you might be in any danger please tell someone you trust a parent, friend, teacher, an adult. Do not feel like you are ever on your own there is support out there, just because they do not want help does not mean you can’t get it.

[missay88-blog]

Something I'm experiencing first hand at the moment. I have my dad living with me because his wife is hoping he will realise that he needs to change but that's not a priority to him. It's only his $4 bottle of wine and when how and what he has to do to get it. Playing everyone off each other, telling us all what we want to hear, everything he does is only to benefit himself. He will go to the bottle shops using all 5 cent pieces if he has to he will walk and to the shop to intoxicated not being able to work just to get that bottle of wine he doesn't even need because he has lost all control. I've tried everything to do to try and help and control his addiction, budgeting his Centrelink so he has money for board, smokes and limited alcohol a day and help him cut down himself but didn't even last a day. My dad is at the final stages liver failures, wet brain, change in personality, he is basically an alcohol feud addict that I barley know. The one person who raised me and who was always there for me who lived and breathed his children, he now has another love that controls every ounce of his life. I would say my dad is almost beyond help, he doesn't want it and he if he can't drink then he has nothing worth living for. The mixed emotions and helpless is so hard but I know I can't control someone else's addiction they can't even control it. ~Alcohol is a family disease. One person my use but the whole family suffers~