Muttering to Myself

Cranky, but full of laughter. Former infertility/recurrent pregnancy loss warrior, now on the journey to adoption. Cat mom. Brown liquor drinker. Cheese fanatic. I like to make things.

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It was COLD AF today, but we still bundled up and took a little walk. (at Lake Mokoma)

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Good morning! (at Lake Mokoma)

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The baby backpack carrier thing was THE BEST present to ourselves. Kidlet loves it and we’ve been enjoying some lovely, snowy walks on our little NYE vacation this weekend. I think we may have pushed her a little too far today though. After 45 mins (the longest she’s been in there) she was over it and we had to turn back. We jogged and bounced her all the way home to distract her from being so sad, poor thing.

It’s tough to say the exact cause though. She could’ve been sick of the pack? We had her nicely bundled up but I’m wondering if her mittens weren’t warm enough. Or half a dozen other things that she couldn’t tell us about. Oh well. We got her back inside and toasty by the fire and everything was alright again.

Next time we’ll stay out for a shorter time and I’ll start looking for better baby mittens. It’s not easy to find warm gear for infants. I spent more on her coat and boots than I intended to, because I couldn’t find much that was her size and rated well for cold weather.

I was worried about her being in a strange place and her sleep turning to shit but she’s being a trooper/worn out from all the new people and places and fresh cold air/having a growth spurt/??? and she’s sleeping as well as she was at home. Thank goodness.

We’re here with another family, close friends of ours. It’s a huge Air bnb right on a lake. The owners live onsite in another wing of the house. The wife is from Ireland and will cook you a full Irish breakfast (no extra charge) if you want it. Uh, yes please! I hear there’ll be waffles tomorrow. And the husband has a lot of stories to tell. The introverted part of me was a little put off at first, but they’re so lovely and generous. We’re already talking about trying to come back here during the summer.

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My loves

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Lake Mokoma, PA

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OH HI HELLO LOOK WHAT I CAN DO

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We’ve got about five more seconds until she’s a toddler.

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Media is trying to dehumanize black people every single time.

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You should tell people how important they are to you. Not because they could leave at any moment, but because they’re here now, and it’s worth saying something.

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I did it. Iris starts daycare 3 days a week on Jan 10th. Someone I met reassured me about changing her from one place to another when she turns one, because even if she stayed in the same location she’d be moving from the infant to the toddler room which would mean new teachers and a whole new routine. She’d have some disruption no matter what.

She’s been so much fun lately. Babbling da! da! da! She’s an expert crawler and now all she wants to do is practice pulling to stand and smiles so much when she does it.

She’s getting ready to WALK. She’ll hold on to me with one hand and then walk along holding the couch with the other. It’s gonna be soon. We went to the library tonight and she practiced while leaning on the super long window seat they have in the children’s section.

We checked out some books, came home, and rolled around on her bedroom rug with her toys and read the new books. I got teary when she grinned, patted my face, and leaned her head on my chest. Staying home all this time hasn’t been easy but there’s also been a lot of sweetness, so many things I might have missed and I’m grateful that I was able to do it. I’m so lucky to get to be her mom.

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2018 Resolution: buy new underwear. Because the last time I remember doing that was 2012.

Maybe just work on making care for myself a priority next year? That sounds good.

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[peace-love-colbert]

@JoyAnnReid 12/14/17

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I’ve been stalling on finalizing p/t daycare for Iris for at least two weeks now and I’m finally moving forward to pin it down so that she can start the second week in Jan.

We already know we don’t want to keep her at the p/t place long term but it was the best one that offered less than full time and I need a few days a week to be able to exclusively job hunt. One day with the babysitter isn’t cutting it and is a far more expensive per-day cost. I barely have enough time to get some basic errands done on that day. Plus it’s a good time for her to start easing in. Her spot at the place we’d like her to be full time when she turns one is waiting for her. I don’t love the idea of switching her in a few months but she’ll be ok.

When she has days like she did last week with the babysitter, grips onto my shirt like a barnacle and weeps inconsolably when I try to pass her off? My god I feel horrible. I’m overjoyed she’s clearly bonded to us, but I picture her sad and terrified in daycare and feel terrible.

I know she’ll get used to it. She’ll soon need more enrichment and socialization than I can provide at home. I GOTTA GO BACK TO WORK.

But this is hard.

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My Christmas tree! Every year I do a themed tree, and this year’s was fun to create! I made the rocket out of shiny poster board, the ornaments I got from the thrift store and repainted with glittery tempura paints to look like planets. The “exhaust” was created using some battery powered LED lights I already had, with polyester pillow fluff that also came from the thrift store. Total cost was about $3. I hope you all are having a lovely holiday season! 

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TIS THE SEASON…FOR SPAAAAAAAAAACE :D

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THE BEST THING EVER

[gothbloc]

are you serious

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Iris hasn’t given dr visits much attention until the needles are going into her leg and then of course it’s time for the shrieking and waterworks.

This afternoon, though. As soon as the nurse came in she started fussing. Not into being measured and weighed at all. Got her calmed down after the nurse left and we waited for the doc to come in and then immediate crying. Settled down after she left to go check something, came back 3 minutes later and then bam! Aahhhhh! Aaaughhhh! as soon as the door opened. Dr said a lot of kids get this way right before they’re one year old and stay that way until maybe three or so.

Oh great. That sounds fun.

And then the nurse came back, gave her a hep booster, and completed the ruination of her afternoon.