Missing Regretsy

I was very sad when Regretsy.com closed down. Utterly lacking moral fiber and self control, I couldn't help but start trolling Etsy.com myself. These are the things I find.

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Drugs are Bad tshirt bikini dress - $30.00

Obviously.

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Swirled Scandinavian Glass Paperweight - $49.00

Glass turd.

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Can Grenade clippable zippable can koozie belt - $12.99

Putting the cooze in koozies.

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Vintage Black Coal Angel - $24.00

Nothing says "Christmas" like a carved lump of coal.

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master of disguise vintage faux moustache 100% human hair - $13.50

Master disgusting with some vintage human hair glued to your face.

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Party New Years Eve Dress - $125.00

Doubles as a bed sheet.

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Couples glove Lovers glove for him and her - $24.00

"Love Glove" redefined.

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This.... or shop online. Whichever.

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We put the Fun in Dysfunctional Whimsical Giclee Print - $33.00

Happy Dysfunctional Family Thanksgiving Everyone!

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Got Turkey? - $1.22

Yes!

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Chocolate Turkey on a Pretzel Rod - $12.00

Turkey peen? Definitely.

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Turkey Soap Vegan Soap - $6.50

...shock your friends by having Turkey Soap in the bathroom or as your kitchen hand soap! Scented in Black Pepper Spice...all the fun spices you'd have on the turkey

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another fine product of a dysfunctional family key ring - $12.00

A Thanksgiving must-have.

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A Christmas Vacation - $8.00

I'm off for a week. See you real soon!

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Murderous turkey - $6.00

Maybe your snarky greeting cards shouldn't have X'd out typos on them. Here's a suggestion. Type it first, then paint it. K, thanks. Also, I don't think a turkey killed the Natives.

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Personalized Initial Polka Dots Fall Thanksgiving Ruffled Brown Outfit 24 Months to 5T - $37.00

Is this the toddler's version of the ugly holiday sweater? Wouldn't this outfit be more appropriate for a turkey-clown-super-hero that just escaped from a mental institution? Just wearing it could scar a child for life, but the PHOTOS - my God - the PHOTOS! Photos last forever!! Think about it for a minute. Why would you do this to your kid? WHY???

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Organic Pumpkin Pie Spice Gluten Free Nibble Safe Play Dough - $4.50

Vegan Thanksgiving has never looked so good....KIDDING! (Sort of.)