Dispatches from the Socially Distant

[missives]

05.16.2025

I did not have needing to field a request from one of the worst people in the country on my bingo card this week. I hope I can fulfill that request without vomiting.

[missives]

04.29.2025

It has been 12 days since I fainted and got the mild concussion.

I haven't had any adverse affects except for the hour after directly hitting my head, and I have been doing regular things like commuting to and from work every day without issue. The bump on my head is much smaller. It's now more lumpy than round and egg-like, and it's not nearly as numb in areas (where there was fluid buildup). It still hurts, which makes it hard to sleep because I unwittingly turn over and put pressure on it, waking myself up.

I suspect that my blood pressure medicine is too strong now, so I need to make an appointment with my doctor to see about it.

But yeah, it's been quite a year.

[missives]

04.20.2025

I know that seasonal affective disorder usually happens in the winter, but I have the opposite/reverse SAD. When the winter starts to end, and I exit out of the Metro into daylight on my way into work, sadness and dejection wash over me. I love exiting into the deep, dark world. I do not like entering the light.

When people complain about getting to work in the dark and leaving in the dark, I can't sympathize as much, even though I understand it. I like the cozy, anonymous nature of the dark.

My whole life is a dark room.

[missives]

03.19.2025

Cold hits my face when I exit from underground. The sky the endless blue color of pre-dawn, both dark and bright. There are few lights on this swath of park near the city's core, the roar muted at this early hour before the city truly awakens.

The half moon watches over silent monuments, and I walk, steps to the beat of the music in my ears.

To me, this is one of the few actual pleasures of commuting, but it only happens twice a year.

[missives]

04.17.2025

So...I fainted while washing dishes last night and hit my head. Mild concussion, clearly, and the side of my head is a bit tender/swollen (not noticeable, but I can feel a slight difference from the other side). I don't have a history of fainting/feeling lightheaded. I felt normal up until I was in the middle of washing a dish (I had been washing dishes for at least 5 minutes) and suddenly felt faint - then nothing until my husband was standing over me, trying to get my attention. I think I was out for only a few seconds.

Not sure what happened, but I was a bit groggy/unable to think coherently/remember a few words for about an hour afterwards. I don't feel dizzy today, just a bit sore where I hit. My blood glucose didn't go out of range (either high or low), my fitbit shows nothing remarkable, i just have a killer headache today and can't take anything to help. I am not dehydrated. The only thing I can think of is that the pollen has been terrible, and we're having a new deck installed, so maybe something there triggered something else? Dunno.

I am so not happy about having to go into the office for 5 days a week starting next week, if this may happen again - work floors are much harder than our home floors.

Wait, I should do all my complaining about this bullshit regime here. Fuckers. Fucking evil assholes.

Perhaps my stress levels are a bit high.

[deathcupcake]

01.29.2025

I had had enough with a coworker today being so inept at managing her own project and expecting me to fix her mistakes. I have had to explain things like she is 5 several times over the last month, and still she fails so terribly. This isn't my job to fix, I don't answer to her.

After yet another "But why can't you do the thing? I don't understand!" email came in (lady, that was YOUR list, and YOU messed it up, not me), I stood up from my desk and said to myself, "That's it. Time to wash my spoons." I had no intention of responding today, and the spoons I used to eat my lunch needed to be washed.

On my way to the break room/sink, I passed by my supervisor's office and gave her a look. She knows that look. And she gave me a similar look, because she had just received a similar email from a different coworker about a different mess of a project.

I told her "I decided that I'd had enough with this [redacted] for the day, and it was time to wash my spoons."

She laughed and said "Can we start using 'Time to wash my spoons' as our new code for 'I'm done with these [redacted]s'?"

Yes, yes we can. Because this is the third idiotic, unreasonable [redacted] that we've had to deal with this year.

And it's still January.

(kung hee fat choy, btw)

[missives]

01.28.2025

We received our Return-to-the-Office orders today, and this is making me think very hard about retiring. I have been eligible for retirement for a year now but had been not planning on it until we get through this massive system migration, plus I am the only person now in the organization that handles an entire function that will just halt if I leave. There literally is no one else to do the required work (and no budget or procurement staff to hire contractors).

But fuck this if I'm sticking around to be less productive in a cubicle farm for a few more years (my time frame was retirement three years from this Jan) with no QOL. I don't want to go back to two hours a day of commuting time five days a week (we are already in the office half the week). And long before COVID, most of the entire organization was on ad-hoc telework! But if we do have to go back to five days, I am out the door at the end of the day. I am taking that hour lunch that I never take. No more working beyond my normal work hours. In a way, I guess, this is better. With no telework, I have no incentive to work longer hours, and I won't give a fuck.

Just biding my time, I guess.

[missives]

01.06.2025

Too bad

So sad

[deathcupcake]

I know I shouldn't care about this, but I cannot let go of the fact that deadmau5 released a song called "Quezacotl" and I keep fixating on the fact that it should be spelled Quetzalcoatl and thinking what an embarrassment it is. I mean, maybe somewhere that's an acceptable spelling, but it comes across as a grade school spelling mistake. And perhaps folks that like deadmau5 but don't know a thing about the Aztecs are now going to perpetuate the terrible spelling forever.

[deathcupcake]

A month and a half ago, @batgrletcetera passed along a question she'd seen around this or that social media source: what are the furthest N, S, E, and W areas on Earth to which you have personally been ?

My answer was:

N: Qaanaaq, Greenland

S: Big Island/Hawaii

E: Gullfoss Falls, Iceland

W: Dutch Harbor, Unalaska, Alaska

But this morning, for some reason, I woke up and thought about this and realized that every single one of my current furthest points is located on an island.

[deathcupcake]

Nothing important

Just wanted to note this interaction I had today, because it was a first.

On my way back from getting my permanent molar crown installed, I went through a drive through to grab lunch because I hadn't had anything to eat since last night. After the cashier rang me up, she said my food would be out soon and closed the window. She didn't finish closing it before she whipped it open and asked me "I have to ask, are you a Stay, too?" and pointed at the sticker on my car. I asked her bias (Han) and admitted I don't have one 'cause I'm old enough to be their mother (and then some). She said she's waiting for those US tour dates, and I passed along the rumor that I'd read that the map shown at the beginning of Chk Chk Boom may have been a teaser for the US tour, and that DC was one of the identified places on that map. I have no idea if this is just a rumor or a teaser, but we both hope it happens.

Anyway, that's the first time anyone has commented on my Stray Kids stickers/license plate frame.

Again, nothing important, but still a fun interaction.a wi

[deathcupcake]

Nothing like having a desire for an apple fritter, going to a highly rated doughnut bakery to get one, and being...severely underwhelmed. It wasn't even as good as a lackluster grocery store or gas station variety.

On the other hand, the bakery's London Fog was amazing.

I think I need to start rating the apple (or other fruit) fritters, because I rarely find an acceptable one anymore. Nothing beats the marionberry fritters at New Seasons in Vancouver, WA, I swear.

I'll get right on that rating after I start my rating blog of seating at nanobreweries (which is nearly always the cheapest, most uncomfortable option).

[deathcupcake]

Happened to follow a car into the farmer's market parking lot today that had the same two MDZS stickers that I have on my car (Gusu, Yiling Patriarch). They also had a BTS sticker, which complemented my SKZ one. The two open parking spots were right across from them, and when we all got out of our cars, I said I liked their stickers, and pointed at mine, and got big grins and the thumbs up. It shouldn't make me silly happy to see folks with similar interests in the wild, but I so rarely see it on other people's cars.

[deathcupcake]

Perhaps buying myself an automatic espresso machine wasn't the smartest move, she thinks, drinking her third cup of the day.

[missives]

08.30.2024

I keep abandoning you.

But maybe I'll start keeping a rough account here again.

Yesterday was drizzly and dark and I ran errands around town.

Every time I stepped out of a store, I could smell pine trees, grass, wet green vegetation.

I miss the Pacific Northwest.

[missives]

04.25.2023

Just learned Kathy died yesterday. It's an almost distant sadness, but still sadness nonetheless. We were no longer close, but had good memories, and would still see each other occasionally. She died of the same thing my brother did. I'm gonna be processing this for a bit.

So that makes three deaths of colleagues in the last 5 months. Two were both only a few years older than me. Mortality.

[missives]

12.15.2022

Got the first shingles vaccine shot yesterday.

I think it’s bed time.