Alis volat propriis

NSFW Adults only! This is the exploration of my mind. Posting some me, some done, some to do and some of what simply stimulates my mind and body. Feel free to enjoy but understand this is not 'for' anyone. This is my own journey of pleasure, boundaries and self discovery. Thank you for sharing. Yes the Avi is me. (PS...I am fully embracing my naughty forties so no disrespect, but if you are in your 20's I can assure you, no you don't know how to make me scream your name. Please do not approach me to 'snap with ya'. Cheers)

[missplacedgoodgirl]

🙏🏽

[missplacedgoodgirl]

Ever wonder how you got such a big part of your life SOOOOO VERY WRONG?!!!!!!

[missplacedgoodgirl]

🙄😂

[missplacedgoodgirl]

Awakening.

It’s a beautiful and sometimes sad thing.

Realisation that I have been asleep for years! Wasted so many moments. And for what?

Learning perhaps.

If you write a list, of what you love, want to give, want to share, want to be, how strange that you can try and love someone who sees no importance in any of it! And the times that they hurt you to the core are the times they treat those things with complete disregard. Do they not really know you? Or do they just not really care?

I love loyalty, words, music, touch, time. Simple things. They are the core of all I treasure. All I want to give and share. He loved none of these things. Ignored them. Disregarding their meaning. It’s not his fault. He never wanted love. Me, I thought my love could change that. I believed that only needing such small and simple things from him would make it easy. Possible. Lasting. But I forgot he had to choose. Choose me the way I had chosen him. And I spent all this time trying to believe he had. I was wrong.

And now, as I wake up and move forward, it’s more obvious than ever why I was asleep. Stuck in time. He doesn’t move. His comfort is in the same. Years of the same behaviour. Treading water like we are not running out of time. Excuses. Justification. ‘If’s. Buts. Changing nothing. Avoiding real. Skipping the words to get to the pictures. Ignoring the meanings in the music. Using the same patterns to take back the hold. And now my sadness is not the hurts or the loss. The fact that he never really chose me. The sadness is the grief for who I have been in this. How I stood still for so long. How I lessened the very core of who I am. How small I must have become.

Sorry it took me so long to wake up. But what an incredible feeling to come home to myself. Changed now, but for the better. Louder, stronger, overflowing with love to give. My kind of love. Real. Loyal. Crazy. I will never quiet it again. I will never waste it where it is not wanted. Not for anyone 🙏🏽

[missplacedgoodgirl]

Sensuality likes to make love at the border where time and space change places. When she is considering a potential lover, she takes him to the ocean and watches. Does he dance with the waves? Does he tell her about the time he slept on the beach when he was seventeen and woke up in the middle of the night to look at the moon? Does he laugh and cry and notice how big the sky is?

[missplacedgoodgirl]

Yes thank you 🙏🏽

[missplacedgoodgirl]

✌🏼😈

[missplacedgoodgirl]

Seriously...who though 🙄😂

[missplacedgoodgirl]

Negotiable benefits 😇😂

[missplacedgoodgirl]

Merry Christmas 💁🏻‍♀️😂

[missplacedgoodgirl]

😂 boobs are awesome 🤷🏻‍♀️

[samdashh-deactivated20210615]

[luvtoplaydirty-deactivated20200]

💋💕

[missplacedgoodgirl]

The things I love most when we are together are the in between moments ❤️

[fairylilies]

i’m so sorry if someone made you think it’s hard to love you

[missplacedgoodgirl]

I don’t think one person made me feel that way. There comes a time you just have to accept things! I am hard to love. I must be. I’m too much of some things and too little of others. Hard to love, easy to leave. That’s just me.

[rxcknrxlla]

[missplacedgoodgirl]

So badly need an escape!! Coming? 😉

[enjoui-deactivated20150811]

[missplacedgoodgirl]

Own it 😍

[missplacedgoodgirl]