Cinemas should sell DVDs of the movies they're playing as you're walking out. If you liked the movie you could buy a DVD right there on the spot. Wouldn't that be awesome
watching 90s-2000s tv is crazy because it’s like wow. there used to be good writing and acting and more than 10 episodes per season and a new season every year. we really had it all.
one / three / four / five / six / masterlist / wattpad
summary: despite winter making everything worse, your relationship with Natalie starts to improve.
warning/s: mentions of cannibalism, blood, violence and death.
author's note: not much to say with this one, so enjoy! :)
Winter was upon us soon enough, any life and hope we had of rescue dwindling as the seasons changed. Losing Jackie, our team captain, as the first snowfall of the season happened was the catalyst.
It was dark most of the day, daylight only lasting a few hours before we were forced to stay in the cabin to keep warm. Our clothes barely kept the cold out, and the fire had to constantly be fed to stay burning.
Natalie and Travis were out before dawn, retuning before sunset, in hopes of finding us food and also searching for Javi, Travis' little brother who went missing shortly after Doomcoming. It was a massive responsibility for them and a dangerous one too, but it needed to be done.
Lottie had officially lost her mind, at least to me. She truly believed the wilderness was speaking to her, and the other girls were starting to believe her. It was frustrating sometimes, listening to her ramblings or coincidental explanations she'd claim were signs from a higher power. The weather and our situation was taking its toll on everyone differently, but I tried to stay positive despite it all.
Things with Natalie were going well still, and I think it was because she somehow saw through Lottie's bullshit too. She was one of the few to do so, which gave us more to bond over. Or at least give each other knowing looks from across the room when Lottie was spouting nonsense again.
My admiration and appreciation for the girl grew massively as the temperature dropped. She was seriously risking her life every day to find us food, all whilst helping Travis too. There weren't many ways to express my gratitude, but I took any chance I could get.
One afternoon, they both came back from their hunt, sadly without any food today, but we still had some frozen meat to work with. I was tending to the fireplace, adding some logs in, when Natalie took a seat beside me, trying to get warm. She'd changed out of her hunting gear and into some fresh clothes, but her cheeks and hands were red from the cold.
"Hey," I said, offering her a smile as I moved up so she could get closer.
"Hey," she greeted, exhaling tiredly and glancing at me. "I miss much?"
I shook my head, tossing some more wood to the flames. "The usual. Lottie doing her prayer circles. Shauna spending hours in the meat shed. Misty and Crystal getting on everyone's nerves."
She huffed, amused, a hint of a smile on her lips. "Sounds about right."
"Any luck with Javi?" I asked, hesitant.
She shook her head, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "Nothing...."
I didn't say it, but it was clear she was thinking it. I think a lot of us were – that maybe Javi was really gone. But nobody would dare say it aloud, knowing Travis just wouldn't hear of it.
"S'getting harder to find food," she mumbled, before pushing her overgrown bangs from her eyes. "Getting damn harder to see it too," she added, before looking up as she restyled her bangs with her fingers. "Fucking hair..."
I cracked a small smile, but saw the frustration in her eyes. "Need a haircut?"
She narrowed her eyes at me lightheartedly. "Ha ha, very funny."
My smile widened slightly. "What? Just observing."
"It's just annoying," she shared, sighing. "That weird in-between stage of them growing out. Gets in the way when I'm trying to hunt, wind blows it in my eyes, too short to be tied back, too long to just sit. Fucking annoying."
I stifled the urge to laugh as I looked up at her through my eyelashes. "I can cut it for you. If you want."
"Respectfully, I don't trust anyone here with a pair of scissors," she said with a knowing look, and this definitely made me laugh.
"Okay, okay, let's just get through the awkward growth stage then," I said with a nod.
She hummed in agreement, though still seemed annoyed by it, looking at the fire. And that was where I got the idea to help her out a little.
The next day when she was out hunting, I did my chores as usual – going out to collect some wood, chopping it up and drying it out with the rest inside before keeping the fire burning. Once I was finished, I took the elastic band out of my pyjama pants and clumsily fashioned it into a headband, wrapping some fabric around it and sewing it in place with some supplies we had. It wasn't perfect, but it would hopefully keep her bangs in place whilst she was out hunting.
I was looking forward to giving it to her when she returned, but as soon as she did, she got changed, ate the tiniest bit of food and went straight to bed. I couldn't blame her – she was up super early every day, and hunting was exhausting. Still, it meant I had to wait until tomorrow.
She and Travis always woke before sunrise, making as little noise as possible so everybody else wouldn't wake with them. It was hard though, since we all slept so close together, but for once I didn't mind because it meant I could catch her before she left.
Lottie, who woke up with them to give them some blood tea ritualistic good luck charm before they left, was doing just that when I began to wake. I rubbed my eyes and saw Natalie and Travis opening the door to leave. Not wanting to miss her yet again, I scrambled out of bed and tried not to trip over a sprawled out Mari beside me.
"Nat, wait," I whisper-shouted, climbing over the girls.
Natalie and Travis both paused to turn around, before Travis said something to Natalie and went outside. Natalie waited by the door, confused to why I was awake.
"What are you–"
"You fell asleep," I got out, half asleep still, stifling a yawn. "Last night, before I could give it you."
I pulled the headband out of my hoodie pocket and held it out to her.
"It's for you," I explained, when she quirked a brow. "You were complaining about your hair the other day, and you were–" I yawned into my shoulder before continuing, "–were right about not trusting me with scissors. I'm shit with haircuts."
She had a piece of fabric fashioned into a bandana tied around her mouth to keep warm, lowering it to reveal an amused smile. Accepting the headband, she said, "Shit with haircuts but can suddenly craft accessories?"
I rolled my eyes. "Shut up. Just–" I took it from her hands and raised it to her hair. "Can I?"
She nodded slowly, tired eyes flickering between mine. I smiled a little before pulling the headband around the crown of her hair, tugging it down slightly so it sat on her forehead, pressing her bangs in place. With a little manoeuvring of them, keeping them out of her eyes, I stepped back to admire my handiwork.
"How's that?" I asked. "Not too tight?" She shook her head, so I relaxed, meeting her gaze. "Great. No more getting in your eyes."
She began to smile, a soft one that curved on her lips and produced a dimple at the corner of her mouth. "Thanks, Y/N. You didn't have to."
I shrugged, leaning against the wall as I yawned again. "S'the least I can do. After all, you're literally saving us from starvation. Might as well help you be able to see when you do."
She exhaled in a huff of amusement, about to speak, but Travis' voice called her from outside and we both knew she couldn't waste more time.
"It's all good, you go," I said before she could apologise. "I don't wanna keep you. Just didn't wanna miss you before you left. Stay safe, yeah? And good luck."
She nodded, grateful, before surprising me as she gave me a brief hug, one arm wrapping around my shoulders. Natalie wasn't a touchy person, at least not with any of us, so it was strange. But, I welcomed it, even if it was only a second long.
"Thanks, Y/N," she muttered, before letting go and leaving to meet Travis.
I'd like to say I made the most of the early morning, but I had nothing to do and I was still so tired, so I went straight back to bed.
The rest of the day wasn't so bad though, as far as winter went. The sun actually came out for a few hours, which made the gruelling work of finding wood and chopping it less awful. The seasonal depression was at bay too, for the few hours we got was enough to remind me it wasn't (entirely) the end of the world.
By the time Natalie and Travis returned, I was sat by the fire with Mari and Akilah as Mari cooked up some frozen meat that Shauna had prepared. This time, Natalie and Travis returned with two rabbits in hand, surprising everyone. That was a good haul as far as everyone was concerned.
Shauna took them to the meat shed as Natalie collapsed by the fire in a relieved sigh, the exhaustion evident on her face. Without thinking much of it, I passed her my water bottle.
"You look tired," I said, when she shot me a confused look.
She snorted, half amused, but accepted it, downing half of it in seconds.
"See a burger van on your travels?" Mari asked Natalie as she cooked up the meat.
"Yeah," Natalie replied between sips, voice full of conviction. "They had hot dogs, too."
I snickered at her sarcasm as Akilah groaned quietly.
"God, I wish I could have a milkshake right now," she said in a needy tone.
"Amen to that," I agreed, just the thought of any fast food making my mouth salivate.
"It's gotta be vanilla all the way though," Mari said to Akilah with seriousness. "Nothing beats a vanilla milkshake. Especially when you have the saltiest fries and you dip them..."
As they talked about everything that made my stomach rumble, I scooted closer to Natalie and nudged her in the side slightly, before nodding to her headband.
"So? It work?"
She rolled her eyes playfully and nodded. "It did."
My smile widened. "So much that you caught two rabbits, huh?"
She chuckled as she nodded, looking down. "We did. Helped that I could see them."
"And Travis? He any help?"
She shrugged. "He found one of the rabbits. Not completely useless."
I laughed under my breath, before a comfortable quiet fell between us. When I glanced at her, I saw the way her smile faded and wondered what she was thinking.
"What's wrong?" I asked curiously. "You did good today, Nat."
She sighed. "I know, I know, I just..."
I waited, patient.
"We got lucky," she said, lowering her voice, leaning in closer. Her eyes flickered to mine, a hint of worry in them. "There's animals now, but for how long? Two rabbits won't keep us going for long."
Admittedly, I could see where her worry was coming from. It was scary to think about what would happen if we ran out of food completely. Everyone knew the inescapable feeling of hunger lining the pits of their stomachs – it never truly went away, not with how little we were getting. What would we do when there was nothing left?
But I refused to think that way when we hadn't got there yet.
"Best not to think about it," I told her as reassuringly as I could. "You'll only drive yourself insane."
She closed her eyes, disappointed.
"I know it's not the answer you're looking for," I continued, softer this time, "but it's too much to carry on your own. Just keep doing what you're doing, which is amazing, and everyone else thinks so, too."
She sighed, looking away, distracted.
"Hey, I mean it," I said, nudging her slightly to get her attention. When her eyes met mine, I said, "Thank you."
She didn't know what to say or do other than awkwardly nod and look away again. After a moment, she gave me back my bottle.
"Thanks for the water. I should get changed," she said, before standing up.
"Dinner will be ready soon," I told her, offering her a small, supportive smile.
She nodded, returning it, before leaving to get changed. I watched her go, but a part of me worried for her. It was a big responsibility, keeping us alive, and I hoped she wasn't shouldering it all herself. One thing I'd come to learn about Natalie without ever realising it was that she cared a lot, so much that it could eat her alive like it was now.
—
It was getting colder, food was getting scarcer and nothing was looking up. Natalie and Travis were still trying their hardest to hunt, but they hadn't found anything in a week now, and it didn't look like it was going to happen anytime soon.
We had some meat left, frozen, but there was no telling how long it would last. Still, we tried to remain positive.
Sometimes, it felt like we were living the same day over and over. The routine was the same, the days blurred into one another, it was always so grey and dark.
One afternoon, just as the sun had set, Natalie and Travis returned from their hunt yet again. I was where I always was at this time – adding wood to the fire, keeping it as hot and lively as as I could so Mari could cook with it and also so Natalie and Travis could warm up.
I glanced over at them both, noticing how beat they looked. Judging from their expressions, they hadn't caught anything, and the rest of the girls noticed this too as their expressions fell. The two of them passed me, going to get changed into some fresh clothes, so I added a few pieces of wood to the fire before getting up to give them chance to warm up.
Sitting by the window, I watched mindlessly as the sky turned darker and darker, snow as thick as I'd ever seen it on the woodland floor. There wasn't much entertainment out here, so I'd fashioned my own game to see how many snowflakes could melt against the pane of glass. It was never a lot, the temperature too cold for that, but it distracted me long enough.
As I did, I felt a presence behind me and looked up to see Natalie stepping forward, taking a seat by the window sill next to me. She'd been warming up with Travis by the fire before, but the colour had returned to her cheeks now thankfully.
"Hey," I said, offering her a small smile. "How was today?"
She exhaled deeply, shaking her head as if disappointed with herself.
My smile faded as I watched her turn in on herself. "It's okay, Nat."
She leaned back against the wall. "S'not," she mumbled.
Eyes softening, I tried to reassure her, "You're trying your best. And you're both still looking for Javi and it's– it's a lot."
She looked at me, blue eyes twinkling with sadness. "It's not enough."
I gave her a knowing look. "It is." When she looked down again, I continued, "Thank you for going out every morning. It's not easy, I can imagine. And I'd help you if I could. It's a lot for two people."
"You wouldn't want to, nobody would," she said definitively.
"Still, it's better than doing nothing," I admitted with a sigh, looking out the window again.
"You're not doing nothing," she said gently. "Everyone has their part. And you literally go out, collect wood, chop it, dry it, even in this fucking snow."
I smiled slightly, appreciating her effort to make me feel better, but that wasn't what I was after. I just wished I could help out somehow, make it easier on her. And I didn't even know why I cared so much, but I did.
As I moved my hair behind my ear, she caught my hand on the way down, making me look to her.
"What happened?" she asked, tenderly holding my hand upright. It was bandaged, nothing serious.
"Oh, just me being stupid," I said with a self deprecating chuckle as I pulled my hand back. "I was sharpening the hatchet earlier, but it slipped and cut my palm. Not too deep, but definitely annoying."
She frowned, eyes flickering from my hand to my face. "You should be more careful, Y/N. Especially out here."
"Thanks, captain obvious, I didn't think of that one," I said playfully, shooting her a look. But when I saw she wasn't kidding, I tilted my head towards her. "I know, Nat."
She pursed her lips, thoughtful, and I leaned against the window frame as I tried not to laugh.
"I'm touched you give a shit," I said jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.
She breathed out, smile bittersweet as she looked down. "Yeah, I've not exactly made the best impression with you, have I?"
I furrowed my brows, confused smile on my lips. "What? Nat, I'm messing with you."
She shook her head, chewing her lip, before looking up at me with a hint of guilt in her expression. "I'm sorry. For– for snapping at you years ago. At school, after the... after the foodbank."
My smile faded, surprise replacing it. I'd assumed we'd never talk about that again, letting it pass as we had up until this point, so this was unexpected.
"Nat, you don't need to apologise, it was a long time ago," I told her, after recovering from my momentary pause.
"Not that long," she muttered, hands playing with the hem of her shirt. "I've ignored you and treated you... unfairly. I'm sorry."
I didn't know what to say, lips pressing together as the elephant in the room was finally being acknowledged.
"I was embarrassed," she admitted quietly, unlike her usual self. "When you saw me. I didn't think someone from school would be there. It was a... a hard time for me. And I..."
She didn't finish, and I winced, the guilt from those years ago returning. My suspicions had been confirmed.
"I didn't mean to embarrass you," I said softly, apologetically. "It was the last thing I wanted. I was just sad to see you had stopped going. I knew it was because of me. And I didn't want that to stop you, not if you needed the– the service. But you did stop. I just wanted to fix it."
Even now, she looked as nervous as she had those years ago, a 14-year-old Natalie returning for a moment in her blushing cheeks and slight frown. My heart ached at the sight.
"Everyone knew my business," she spoke quietly, eyes avoiding mine. "I didn't need more pity, especially not from you."
I frowned, wishing she'd look at me. "I've never pitied you, Nat. Sure, I've worried about you sometimes now, but not then, not about that. I just– wanted to help."
She nodded slightly. "Yeah. Well, I know that now. So, sorry. And thanks for looking out for me here. You didn't need to, not when I shut you out for so long."
Her eyes finally met mine, gratitude sparkling in them, and it brought a smile to my lips.
"You're welcome." I rested a hand on hers – still fumbling with her shirt – and squeezed gently to stop them. "Bygones."
She relaxed as I did, returning my smile. "Bygones."
It was almost a relief to sort through our short but impactful past, kind of like we'd both got closure we didn't know we needed.
"And FYI, I always thought you were the coolest person in school back then," I added, hoping to lighten the mood. "Still kinda do."
She half scoffed and half laughed, a lovely sight given everything. "Wow. A bit of a stretch."
"What? I'm telling the truth," I said between a laugh. "You never care what people think of you. That's pretty cool in my books."
She rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall again, though a smile was on her lips. "Yeah, well, you're not so bad yourself."
"Don't be too kind."
She laughed aloud at that, smacking my arm playfully. "Shut up, you know what I mean."
I snickered as I glanced over at her. "I know."
She pressed her lips into a humoured smile, eyes flickering between mine. In the dim light of the fire-lit cabin, the blue in her eyes was glowing, and I'd never really thought about it before now, but Natalie Scatorccio had really pretty eyes.
"Hey, butt munches!" Mari's voice interrupted us from by the fireplace, making us look her way. "Dinner's done, c'mon."
"I believe that's us, fellow butt munch," Natalie commented, before standing up.
"Huh." I stood up to, letting her go first, and she smiled my way before joining the others by the fire.
—
It happened without anyone thinking about it. We were just so hungry, and the smell of cooked meat – Jackie's body – only brought out that hunger more.
It was disgusting, I knew it was, and I almost threw it up afterwards at the thought. But we needed it to stay alive. It wasn't like we were burning her body with the intention of eating it – we were just trying to cremate her.
The silence that followed was loud. For the first time since crashing, we were all full. It was an awful feeling, one I hadn't felt in so long, but it meant we were alive.
Coach Scott was the only one who hadn't eaten it, and I knew he judged us all. We all knew. I almost envied his willpower, his restraint.
All that was left of Jackie were her bones, and nobody was doing anything with them. I don't think anybody wanted to go near them, otherwise it would be an acknowledgment of what we'd done. Nobody except Natalie.
"I guess no one wants breakfast...," Mari commented the next morning.
I shot her a disapproving stare, to which she raised her hands in defence.
"I don't think anyone's hungry," Lottie mumbled, looking over at her.
"We should move her," Natalie interrupted, referring to Jackie.
Travis stood up from his seat in the kitchen. "Where? We still can't bury her."
"I'll take her body or her remains or... whatever to the plane... and she can buried with the others when the ground thaws," she answered, before looking to Shauna who had been spaced out since last night. "Shauna?"
All eyes were on the brunette, and she looked up, distracted. "Er, whatever you think."
"Well, at least if you bury her out there, it'll look like she died with the rest of them," Coach Scott spoke up from beside the window, a hint of bitterness in his voice.
Everybody exchanged looks but nobody said anything. We deserved to feel awful.
An hour later, I was bringing some logs into the cabin when I spotted Natalie outside, wrapping Jackie's bones in an old blanket, knotting the top so she could carry it with ease. I held off going out just yet as I noticed Lottie and Travis going out to talk to her. It looked like Lottie was offering her another one of her tea rituals, but whatever it was, Natalie wasn't impressed.
Before she could leave, I went outside, past Lottie and Travis who looked deflated, and approached Natalie.
"I'm gonna come with you," I said to her, making her look to me, leftover irritation from her conversation with Lottie evident on her face.
"It's fine, I've got it," she said dismissively. "I–"
"Nat, I'm not leaving you go put our dead teammate's bones to rest alone," I cut her off, a little too abruptly, but I had to. Natalie wouldn't accept help – sometimes a little force went a long way with her, I'd noticed.
She tensed her jaw, but nodded. Wordlessly, she led the way and I followed after her.
The silence was just as loud out here as it was in the cabin. I stole a few glances at Natalie, wondering what she was thinking, but I said nothing.
When we reached the crash site, she stopped at the doors of the plane, staring into it for a moment. Then, she turned around to face me, sliding the gun off her shoulder and holding it to me.
"Keep watch," she instructed, and I had no choice but to accept it.
The only time I'd held or shot the gun was back when Coach had us all have a go to see who the best shot was, so I wasn't sure if leaving me to keep watch was the best idea. But I didn't want to give Natalie another thing to worry about, so I turned around to keep an eye on things as I heard her entering the plane.
My hands were glued to the gun, eyes scanning the tree-line, but I didn't expect to find anything. We couldn't even hunt for food – nothing was attacking us out here.
A few minutes passed and I heard Natalie leaving the plane from behind me. I straightened up and turned around, pretending not to notice her glassy eyes and tear-stained cheeks for her sake.
"You ready to go back?" I asked softly, holding the gun to her.
"No, you?" she answered quickly enough, accepting the gun and shouldering it.
I sighed, the fog from the cold escaping my lips, and shook my head.
"Thanks for coming," she said as she began to lead the way once again.
I fell into step with her, hands in my pockets as we pushed on through the snow.
"What do we do?" she suddenly spoke, stopping walking.
I stopped too, looking up at her to see her hardened expression, lips pulled into a frown.
"Winter is getting worse, it's getting harder–"
"Nat–"
"We fucking ate her," she blurted out, voice cracking.
I fell quiet at her words. Admitting it out loud only made it worse, but it was the truth.
"I don't know," I said, voice above a whisper.
Her face was full of worry as her gaze met mine, pleading for answers I didn't have. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't think about it as I hugged her.
"I'm sorry, I don't know," I muttered into her shoulder, feeling her arms slip around my waist. "I wish I did."
She breathed out shakily, head tilting into the space between my neck and shoulder as she didn't let go.
Natalie and I had never been close, though we were getting there over time. I considered her a friend now, and seeing her breaking slowly was hurting me in ways I didn't think were possible.
"Whatever happens, we'll work it out," I tried my best to reassure her. "Together. Yeah?"
She didn't speak, so I pulled back, though not quite letting go as I searched her gaze. "Natalie. I'm here, okay? You're not in this alone."
And I hoped she knew the meaning of my words. Some of the other girls were losing the plot with Lottie's bullshit, but I wasn't letting myself get lost with them. Natalie didn't need to worry about that.
She nodded, taking a deep breath. I pulled my hands away, though not before finding hers and squeezing it gently.
"Let's go back, it's freezing out here," I suggested.
She used her hands to rub her face before following my lead back to the cabin.
two / three / four / five / six / masterlist / wattpad
summary: crash landing in the wilderness was bad, but crash landing with the girl who didn't seem to like you very much was worse.
warning/s: mentions of death, plane crash, basically everything that comes with watching s1 of yellowjackets.
author's note: okay so this took me forever to write, but here it is! i realised i write suuuuper long chapters which is fun if you like the story, but also really annoying for general readers who want a normal amount of content in a chapter lol. So this is my first attempt to shorten them and chapter them better rather than writing super long ones. (This hasn't impacted the content, just means there's more chapters that aren't essays!)
With that, I hope you enjoy! One thing to note - Y/BF/N = your best friend's name.
We could've died.
It was still hard to accept, despite the fact that I was standing in the middle of the wilderness near the wreckage of the plane that was supposed to take my team and I to nationals.
It had been a day since we crashed, a day since everyone's adrenaline had ran dry and we were trying not to think about the fact that we were surrounded by dead bodies and could've been amongst them.
Nobody left the small perimeter of the plane crash, too afraid to venture out in case rescue came at any second. I heard some girls stifling their cries last night, some others were still in shock. I was somewhere in the middle, trying to come to terms with my situation but not quite falling into despair (at least not yet).
Admittedly, the top of my concerns – other than surviving – was how Mari was doing. I knew she hated the hovering I was doing, but I couldn't help it. She was practically a little sister to me, her cousin being my best friend and the three of us growing up together since I spent all of my childhood with Y/BF/N. It felt like my responsibility to make sure Mari was safe, especially since Y/BF/N wasn't on the team so wasn't here to make sure herself.
Possibly for the millionth time since we'd crashed, I made my way over to Mari by a tree stump, seeing her chatting to Akilah, another junior on the team and her closest friend. As soon as she saw me approaching, she rolled her eyes dramatically. Akilah shoved her arm disapprovingly as I tried not to laugh.
"Hey, I just wanna check in," I said, kneeling down before them. "How are you both?"
Akilah offered me a small smile. "We're good, Y/N, thanks."
"You hungry?" I asked with a quirked brow, and she shook her head, so I looked to Mari who was resisting the urge to glare at me. "Mari?"
"I'm fine, Y/N," she muttered, fixing me with an irritated stare. "I'm not a baby, y'know."
I stifled a smile as I squeezed her knee and stood up. "I know, idiot. Sorry I care."
"You don't need to," she sang in a childish manner.
"Well, I do," I sang back, giving her a knowing look before leaving, though not before doing a quick once over to make sure she was truly alright, at least physically.
It was two nights after that when we were all gathered around the campfire and she came to me this time.
Everyone refused to leave the site or the safety net of the fire, so as we did the night before, we slept around it. As I was trying to get comfortable on my backpack that I was using as a pillow – which I'd thankfully found in the wreckage – I noticed Mari approaching me with her hoodie clutched to her chest and a nervous expression on her face.
"Hey," I said softly, looking up at her. She looked like a kid in my eyes, though maybe that was because that's how I always remembered her. "You okay, Mar?"
She shuffled on her feet awkwardly, tips of her shoes scuffing the dirt. "Erm... can I stay with you tonight?"
I knew she was too proud to admit she was scared, but it was as clear as day. She'd looked the exact same when she'd sneak into Y/BF/N and I's sleepovers, pillow in hand after a nightmare from a horror movie she shouldn't have been watching with us. (We shouldn't have been watching it either to be fair).
"Of course you can," I said with a nod, moving over slightly to make room.
Her shoulders sagged with relief as she kneeled down to put her hoodie as a pillow beside my backpack.
"You don't wanna stay with Akilah?" I asked her to be sure.
She shook her head, for once not giving me any snarky remark. "No. I... it's creepy out here, okay?"
"Fair enough."
I hid a smile as I watched her lay down, before going to do the same. Though as I did, my eyes happened to catch another girl's across the campfire – Natalie Scatorccio's to be exact.
As quickly as our eyes met, they looked away from one another awkwardly. She was the one girl on the team (and possibly in the whole school) who was always uncomfortable around me, and vice versa. It was a shame too, because I used to (and still kinda do...) think she was the coolest person ever.
It was over something so random, though I suppose that was what I told myself when, in fact, it was all a stupid misunderstanding.
My mum owned a foodbank in our town, offering hot food every day at no price for those who truly needed it. It was amazing what she did, and I always admired it, knowing it wasn't the easiest thing to keep up and running.
A few years ago, I decided to volunteer there, wanting to see a little more of what she did and to help out a little, and that was when I saw Natalie...
I was at the end of the food production line the workers had set up, adding a nutrition bar and bottle of juice to the tray of food the residents would get. It was easy enough and sometimes I'd make conversation with the residents who came by.
Natalie was next and I didn't recognise her at first, not even remotely friends with her at school. We were in the same classes, had spoken in passing, but that was it. She had dark hair then, her bangs covering her eyes, head tucked down as she avoided making eye contact. It was only when I realised I was serving someone around my age did I really pay attention, and then she finally looked up and I put two and two together.
Her blue eyes widened slightly before looking down at her tray again, cheeks dusting pink. I suddenly straightened up, feeling just as awkward as I grabbed a nutrition bar and bottle from under the counter to put on her tray.
I didn't know a lot about her, just that she lived in that trailer park on the edge of town. I didn't know anything about her life or her parents or her upbringing, so I had no idea what circumstances had led her to need to go to a foodbank for help. Whatever it was, she had nothing to be embarrassed about other than the usual embarrassment that came with seeing someone your age outside of school.
Neither of us said anything as she took her tray, barely acknowledging me and going to find a seat at the back of the room. My gaze followed her subtly, and I noticed how she purposely sat down with her back to me. I internally debated whether to approach her – but to say what exactly? Sorry for seeing you at the foodbank? No, that was stupid and I didn't want to make her feel even more uncomfortable.
So, I left it. And when I saw her at school the next day, I didn't bring it up. I acted as I always did, which was easy enough because we weren't friends so nothing changed.
I volunteered a few more times, having enjoyed the first time despite that one moment. Sometimes after school and sometimes on the weekends. And I saw Natalie there a few more times, but purposely stayed away from having to directly serve her as to not make her uncomfortable.
But then she stopped coming, and I waited, but she never returned. And naturally, I grew curious.
This time, when I saw her at school the next day, I caught her before class by the lockers. She was talking to one of her friends – Kevyn, I think his name was.
"Er, hey," I said, interrupting when there was a pause in their conversation. I offered a small smile as I glanced at Natalie, who looked as she always did around me since I'd seen her at the foodbank – uncomfortable.
Kevyn looked confused as he nodded at me. We'd never spoken before in our lives, so I didn't blame him. I pretended not to see the way he and Natalie exchanged looks before he took the hint and left us.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," I said to Natalie.
"S'fine," she mumbled, straightening up, hand on her bag strap like she was waiting to escape. "What's up?"
I swallowed thickly, before saying, "I, er, haven't seen you around much. At the– erm– y'know."
She clenched her jaw as she glanced around, and so I felt inclined to look around too, though nobody was close enough to listen in.
"I just meant– why not?" I asked as politely as I could.
She quirked a brow, growing defensive. "Why don't you mind your own business?"
Not expecting that, I tried to backtrack. "I didn't mean any offence, Natalie, I just meant–"
"I know what you meant," she snapped, cutting me off with a fiery glare. "I don't owe you an explanation."
I backed up slightly, intimidated. "I know, of course not. I–"
She scoffed and rolled her eyes before walking away. I blinked, feeling like an idiot as I stood there and wondered why I didn't just mind my own business. I only wanted to help, but I'd just made things worse. She had to have stopped going there because of me, and the last thing I wanted was to deny her a service she needed just because some girl from school was there. That in itself filled me with guilt, but I didn't know Natalie well enough to make things right.
So, that was the end of the start of ever getting to know her. Ever since that moment, things were awkward with us. Which didn't help when a year later, we both joined the same soccer team. Despite having to work together in a team, we never really spoke properly. And even when we did, neither of us brought any of the foodbank business up again. It was almost like it hadn't happened, except for the giant block of tension between us.
So, now, as Natalie and I once again avoided each other's gaze over the campfire, I tried not to think about it again. Instead I focused on getting some sleep and hoping I'd wake up and this all be a dream.
—
Help wasn't coming, at least not so soon.
We'd finally moved location, being forced to after running low on water and food. Luckily, we found a cabin and a lake and somewhere safer to take shelter that wasn't out in the open. There was so much that could go wrong, but I couldn't fault it when we were doing better than where we'd started.
Van and Taissa were rationing the last of the food we had from the plane when I got given some portions to hand out to some of the girls. I pocketed my own before leaving the cabin and handing some nuts out to the others, including Mari and Akilah. That was when I saw Natalie sat by the unlit campfire, leaning against a log and playing with a stick in her hand. She looked stuck in thought and I hesitated before deciding to make en effort, knowing this tension between us needed to end now more than ever.
Approaching her, I paused beside her, making her glance up at me.
"Hey," I said with my best attempt at a smile void of awkwardness.
She cleared her throat and nodded before looking back to the unlit fire. "Hi."
I chewed my lip before holding out the packet of nuts to her. "Last of the rations. We're just finishing them off. It's not much, but yeah."
Blue eyes flickered up to the nuts in my hand and then me. I almost expected her to decline me just to end the conversation, but to my surprise, she didn't.
"Thanks," she muttered, accepting them from my grasp. "You didn't have to bring them to me, I could've got it."
I shrugged, hands going in my pockets, somewhat nervous and I had no idea why. I guess I wanted her to like me, to make up for those many years ago where I'd completely messed up. "I didn't mind. Was just helping out."
She pressed her lips together and nodded in response, looking down to the packet in her hands. I took that as my cue to leave, though was pleased that she actually spoke to me this time.
"Enjoy," I said with a curt nod before leaving her be, not wanting to push my luck. And then I questioned why I decided to say it in the first place.
Enjoy? What was I? Her flight attendant?
—
Even though replaying that conversation in my head made me cringe immensely, it did tear down the walls between us slightly. Natalie no longer actively avoided me, nor seemed as tense around me. In fact, we shared a few small, meaningless greetings every now and then if we happened to see each other.
It was progress to me, especially at a time when everything felt like the end of the world.
We'd ran out of food, which was a given. Thankfully, the cabin and the Dead Cabin Guy who once lived there had a gun with enough ammunition to last a few years (which I'm sure we all hoped we wouldn't need it for that long). After Coach Ben taught us how to use it and Natalie proving to be the most competent with it, she and Travis were sent out to go hunting.
Travis was Coach Martinez's son who joined us on the trip, but ever since his dad died in the crash, he was understandably bitter. Of course, it definitely got on everyone's nerves when he'd take it too far, but we couldn't exactly do much about it. Especially when him and Natalie were risking their lives to find us food.
But just as they had their 'chore', we all had ours. Mine was collecting and chopping wood for the fire which we went through way more than I could have imagined.
This morning, I happened to be walking out of camp at the same time as Natalie. She had her gun hanging off her shoulder as I carried a hatchet in my hand.
"Travis not joining you today?" I asked as we unintentionally fell into step with one another, just trying to make conversation.
She smiled dryly. "Oh, he is. He's just stormed off somewhere. You know, his usual tantrum."
I scrunched my face up in sympathy. "Damn. Is he ever any help on these things?"
She sighed, pushing her blonde hair from her eyes. "Sometimes. He's just going through a tough time. Still an ass though."
I hummed in agreement, looking ahead as we bent down to walk under a tree branch. "Be careful out there then, if he's not watching your back."
"I'm always careful," she said knowingly.
I quirked a brow as I glanced at her, not quite believing her. "I'm sure. But still, you don't know what's out here. None of us do. Don't take any risks, yeah? If you see anything–"
"Shoot it?"
It was hard not to crack a smile when she was staring at me with a cocky one of her own.
"I was gonna say run and get Travis or someone to help, but I suppose we need the food, huh?"
She snickered, shaking her head. "Yeah, I'm sure he'd be a big help."
I slowed down walking when I recognised where I was, having cut some wood out here yesterday. She seemed to follow my lead, pausing too.
"You should be careful too," she added, turning to look at me. "Should really have someone out here with you when collecting the wood."
I shrugged, glancing around. "There's only one hatchet. And everyone's busy anyway. I don't mind though. I like the quiet time."
She lifted a brow in disbelief.
"Okay, fine," I gave in easily. "I also asked Mari to come with and she said no."
Natalie snorted with amusement, dimple poking out behind a hidden smile. "Mari wouldn't know help if it bit her in the ass."
"Hey, be nice," I shot back with a warning look, though it was hard when a smile was ghosting my lips. I couldn't blame her – Mari was of acquired taste and always got herself into trouble with the other girls, but she was still family.
Natalie tried not to laugh as she backed up. "I gotta go."
"Good luck," I said with a smile, watching her leave.
—
Doomcoming was supposed to add a bit of life to group, supposed to make us forget about how completely and utterly lost and terrified we were. And it did, for a little while.
Everyone wore their best outfits, the ones we were supposed to wear to celebrate if we won Nationals. It was strange, pulling my dress on when I remembered only packing it what felt like days ago. It had been weeks though.
We were low on food, so we used what we had to make a stew. There was some moonshine left from Dead Cabin Guy; we'd all decorated and made the most effort we'd made since being here; and when I stepped out the cabin, it felt like an actual party. You know, if you could forget about how many people we'd lost, where we were and what the future held.
I helped myself to some stew and chatted to a few of the girls before sitting on a log as I ate, just thinking about everything and nothing.
"Hey, this seat taken?"
I looked up and smiled when I saw Natalie standing there in a leopard print dress that only she could make look good. She always did have the coolest fashion sense.
"Hey, no, go for it." I motioned to the spot beside me. She sat beside me as I looked at her outfit before meeting here eyes. "You look nice, Natalie, I love the dress."
She smiled, awkward and appreciative all at once. "Thanks. Also, you can call me Nat, y'know. Everyone does."
I chuckled, shrugging as I looked to my bowl of stew. "Yeah, I know. Always felt weird I guess. Didn't know you well enough."
She exhaled, an almost-laugh, before saying, "You look good too by the way."
I glanced at her, grateful. "Thank you. Nat."
She rolled her eyes playfully which eased the awkwardness between us, and I took another bite of my food before noticing she didn't have any.
"You tried it yet?" I asked her, lifting my bowl. "I don't know what Mari's done different, but it's really good. There's, like, actual ingredients in it for a change. Not just flavoured water."
She snorted with amusement at that, shaking her head. "Not yet."
"Here, try it," I said, practically forcing the bowl into her hands. "It's good."
She quirked a brow but accepted the bowl and had a spoonful. "Yeah, I guess it is."
"You want me to get you some?"
"No, no, I'll grab it after," she said, giving mine back. Her eyes drifted around at the party. "You think this was stupid?"
I followed her gaze, watching Taissa and Van practically on top of each other by the fire, Jackie dancing with Travis, Lottie drinking moonshine with Shauna... It was almost normal, in a demented way.
"I don't know," I admitted. "If it gets everyone's minds off things for a bit, then why not?"
Natalie hummed, making me look to her profile.
"You think it's dumb?" I asked curiously.
She looked over to me, a small smile tugging on her lips. "A little. But that might be because the moonshine is shit and I was never a homecoming person."
I stifled a laugh. "Right. Of course. Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen you at any school dances."
"Yeah, totally not a school dance person," she agreed with a shudder. "Parties though... not so bad."
I tried not to snicker as I thought of every party I'd seen her at – usually Yellowjackets-related ones. She was either getting drunk or getting high in the corner.
"They aren't so bad, you know," I told her with a knowing look.
"Aren't you always with your friend Y/BF/N?" she asked with a raised brow. "You two are pretty social."
"Well, yeah, but it's mainly getting drunk at these parties." I laughed, though surprised she'd even noticed. I was convinced she'd throughly hated me back at school. "You could've got drunk with us if you wanted to. We didn't bite."
She hummed, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. We both knew she'd never have talked to us, though as always, we didn't bring up why.
Before either of us could say anything more, Mari came out of nowhere and jumped out in front of us. "Hey, losers!"
We both jumped, startled and looking up as she grinned down at us.
"Hey, Mar," I said with a playful eye roll.
"So? What d'you think?" she asked, nodding to the bowl in my hand.
I cracked a smile. "You did good."
She seemed proud as she nodded. "Hell yeah, I did. I'm just that good."
"Humble, too."
She flashed me a grin, making me smile with amusement at how annoying she could be. Then her eyes drifted over to a quiet Natalie. "How about you? Opinions?"
Natalie nodded, standing up. "Tasted good, Mari. I'm gonna go get a bowl now."
Mari nodded, taking her seat beside me. I watched Natalie as she left, though not before she nodded briefly at me. Weird, considering we were just getting on.
"Since when were you friends with the burnout?" Mari asked, eyes following Natalie's retreating form.
I smacked the side of her leg disapprovingly. "Hey, don't be mean. That burnout is the reason we're all alive right now, thanks to her hunting." I paused, glancing at Natalie and her striking blonde hair in the distance, before quickly adding, "And she's not a burnout."
Mari laughed at my response, rolling her eyes. "Whatever, kiss ass."
I ignored her, letting my eyes linger on Natalie once more. It was strange. I felt oddly protective over her, though I suppose that was because I'd always had a soft spot for her. But now more than ever did I appreciate her more since she really was the reason we were all alive. And we no longer had a tension between us that I thought would be there forever. She was cool and I was enjoying getting to know her, despite the circumstances.
Of course, everything only got worse after Doomcoming, and life out in the wilderness only got harder.
She showed up at the last minute still drunk to pick up her dog after a week of partying off planet, called Superman a bitch, and left. I love her already.
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