from No Other Blue
by Craig Charles
He's got a Rolex watch
And a filofax
So that he can correlate his facts.
He gets anxiety attacks.
He's doing well, but he can't relax
'Cos he's a yuppy.
He's got a GTI,
His girlfriend looks like Lady Di,
With a briefcase
That contains the face,
Time out, and bloody 'Ell
French elle
And English elle
as well,
'Cos he's a yuppy.
He likes caviare on French bread,
And likes French cheese and pickles,
He's got inexhaustible supplies of pink and white shirts
That he bought from Harvey Nichols.
He's a yuppy,
He's a guy you'll like,
He works off excess energy
On an excess energy exercise bike,
The excessive executive,
Exclusive and extreme.
He doesn't want to be a never-was,
He doesn't want to be a has-been.
But he has been seen,
Reading Harpers & Queen
In an Italian pizzeria
In the Covent Garden area
'Cos he's a yuppy.
He's Gucci,
Pucci,
Fiorucci,
His girlfriend shops at Nina Ricci.
His favourite food was fettucinie,
But now he's gone all Japanesey -
he does karate,
He eats sushi
And drinks sake,
'Cos he's a yuppy.
He lives in a world of Porches,
Fuel-injection turbos and gasoline.
He lives in a world of finance,
Corporate business pressure and amphetamine.
And when he goes home,
He talks a bit of business
He comes before she's finished,
And he doesn't understand
Why she always moans when he comes home.
Life to him is an empty glass,
And an ashtray overfull.
He's never been exciting
So he's never ever dull
When he gets home.
She lives in a world of lotions,
Waging war against he wrinkles with beauty cream
Well-assorted potions rubbed in to her body
She's so soft and clean.
And when she's not home
She shops in all the boutiques
Never keeps her receipts
And she doesn't understand
Why he always moans
When he comes home.
Life to her is a bubble bath
And private bank accounts
She pays for wealth with happiness
And that's a serious amount
When they are home.
