Noah's Tumblr that will Change History (or not)

Me llamo Noah. I'm a Baseball junkie, foodie, rock music enthusiast, b-movie fan, aspiring writer, and UC Davis student. I spend way too much time on the internet.

[freyacrescentshangover-deactiva]

Cry me a fucking river

[notreally-cockedtail-deactivate]

what even IS american culture

it’s just a big ball of different cultures with no set value 

i don’t get it

[cleopatrasweave-deactivated2014]

[fjordfjucks]

Dead ass tho. We sometimes forget, collectively as a group of people observing this franchise, that there are nasty dance clubs all over the Star Wars universe. The Galaxy. An entire system of worlds. There are places that play shitty dance remixes for 12 hours and where cross fraction hook ups probably happen every night.

Do not forget this. Beyond Tatooine, beyond stuffy meeting halls, the palaces of royalty, a storm trooper probably just had his 3rd drink and he’s bout to get the best dick of his life from something with 4 arms. He’s living the dream. Do not forget him.

[robertcreature]

@misterpp22 I present you with the real future of the spin off films

[misterpp22]

I simultaneously want to and really don't want to see this

[p-taters]

[misterpp22]

Operation "Finish my Christmas Shopping in under 24 hours" is a go. Can I do it without going insane in the process? Let's find out!

[misterpp22]

It’s a cool but not freezing December morning with a solid breeze and crystal clear skies and a few clouds hanging over the mountain that are remnants from last night’s rare LA downpour.

First stop: the bank. Gotta deposit a monthly allowance check from my mom so I have enough money to buy her a Christmas present. Ah the ironies of being an unemployed college student. Get me a job this year, Santa.

[misterpp22]

Stop 2: shopping area nearby my house with the world’s absolute worst parking lot. Combine tiny ass spaces with random stop signs and speed bumps and an extremely high traffic volume with extremely poor layout, and you’ve got some idea what it’s like. But there’s a bunch of stores to possibly find stuff in.

I’ve got three people to shop for: my mom, my dad, and my friend because my group of friends is doing a secret santa. I’m really bad with secret santas usually, but the rest of my friends were enthusiastic about the idea and I support the concept, so I went along with it. More on that later. I will decline to name my friend because several members of the secret Santa group know my Tumblr and will probably see this. All I’m gonna say is that their wishlist was… Less than helpful and the one thing I thought of getting them was way above the $20-30 range we agreed on

[misterpp22]

First stop was Party City. I didn’t expect to find a lot there, but my family has a pseudo tradition of getting each other stupid joke gifts, so I thought it would be a good place to them. No luck, but I found, among other things, emoji t-shirts that made me want to vomit, an LA Rams sticker that said “end zone,” which is ironic because thats definitely somethj g they can’t find, and a fold out snack holder in the shape of a football stadium.

I then walked next door to Petsmart cause we sometimes get my cat things for Christmas and OH MY GOD THERE ARE A BUNCH OF CAGES FULL OF TINY PUPPIES AND CATS. I definitely walked into the right store. Might turn out beinf the highlight of the day. I also found two hedgehog shaped catnip toys for my cat and got in a big ass line. I feel like this is going to be a theme today

[misterpp22]

Game stop, Best Buy, and Bed Bath and Beyond were unsuccessful, though I found a sleeping bag with a hood that made you look like a rebel pilot that was ridiculously fucking cool, but not for $100. On the way back to the car, a Carl’s Jr. Bag rolled in front of me from the wind, like an urban tumbleweed.

[misterpp22]

Like every middle class white person in America, I live by Target, so that's where I decided to go next. It was crazy busy, as expected. I found one small thing for my mom and Grandma, but still,nothing for my friend. I keep finding great gift ideas for OTHER friends of mine, just not the one whose name I drew. Crap. They're kinda the one I'm most worried about but also the one I have the most time on. The Christmas racks in both Target and Party City were pretty bare and picked through. It was disappointing, but considering Christmas is tomorrow, also not completely unexpected.

Traffic is also kind of insane and people are driving like lunatics. I was about to make a right turn at a red light, so I got in the far right lane and prepared to turn when this asshole in a pickup truck and trailer (isn't this almost always the case?) pulled up next to me and inched further and further out towards the intersection before deciding that right turn on red also applied to his entitled ass, so he shot out into the intersection in front of me. I think I'm gonna keep a tally of bad driving now:

# of almost accidents I've seen: 2 # of "creative" drivers: 1

[misterpp22]

Operation "Finish my Christmas Shopping in under 24 hours" is a go. Can I do it without going insane in the process? Let's find out!

[misterpp22]

It’s a cool but not freezing December morning with a solid breeze and crystal clear skies and a few clouds hanging over the mountain that are remnants from last night’s rare LA downpour.

First stop: the bank. Gotta deposit a monthly allowance check from my mom so I have enough money to buy her a Christmas present. Ah the ironies of being an unemployed college student. Get me a job this year, Santa.

[misterpp22]

Stop 2: shopping area nearby my house with the world’s absolute worst parking lot. Combine tiny ass spaces with random stop signs and speed bumps and an extremely high traffic volume with extremely poor layout, and you’ve got some idea what it’s like. But there’s a bunch of stores to possibly find stuff in.

I’ve got three people to shop for: my mom, my dad, and my friend because my group of friends is doing a secret santa. I’m really bad with secret santas usually, but the rest of my friends were enthusiastic about the idea and I support the concept, so I went along with it. More on that later. I will decline to name my friend because several members of the secret Santa group know my Tumblr and will probably see this. All I’m gonna say is that their wishlist was… Less than helpful and the one thing I thought of getting them was way above the $20-30 range we agreed on

[misterpp22]

First stop was Party City. I didn’t expect to find a lot there, but my family has a pseudo tradition of getting each other stupid joke gifts, so I thought it would be a good place to them. No luck, but I found, among other things, emoji t-shirts that made me want to vomit, an LA Rams sticker that said “end zone,” which is ironic because thats definitely somethj g they can’t find, and a fold out snack holder in the shape of a football stadium.

I then walked next door to Petsmart cause we sometimes get my cat things for Christmas and OH MY GOD THERE ARE A BUNCH OF CAGES FULL OF TINY PUPPIES AND CATS. I definitely walked into the right store. Might turn out beinf the highlight of the day. I also found two hedgehog shaped catnip toys for my cat and got in a big ass line. I feel like this is going to be a theme today

[misterpp22]

Game stop, Best Buy, and Bed Bath and Beyond were unsuccessful, though I found a sleeping bag with a hood that made you look like a rebel pilot that was ridiculously fucking cool, but not for $100. On the way back to the car, a Carl's Jr. Bag rolled in front of me from the wind, like an urban tumbleweed.

[misterpp22]

Operation "Finish my Christmas Shopping in under 24 hours" is a go. Can I do it without going insane in the process? Let's find out!

[misterpp22]

It’s a cool but not freezing December morning with a solid breeze and crystal clear skies and a few clouds hanging over the mountain that are remnants from last night’s rare LA downpour.

First stop: the bank. Gotta deposit a monthly allowance check from my mom so I have enough money to buy her a Christmas present. Ah the ironies of being an unemployed college student. Get me a job this year, Santa.

[misterpp22]

Stop 2: shopping area nearby my house with the world’s absolute worst parking lot. Combine tiny ass spaces with random stop signs and speed bumps and an extremely high traffic volume with extremely poor layout, and you’ve got some idea what it’s like. But there’s a bunch of stores to possibly find stuff in.

I’ve got three people to shop for: my mom, my dad, and my friend because my group of friends is doing a secret santa. I’m really bad with secret santas usually, but the rest of my friends were enthusiastic about the idea and I support the concept, so I went along with it. More on that later. I will decline to name my friend because several members of the secret Santa group know my Tumblr and will probably see this. All I’m gonna say is that their wishlist was… Less than helpful and the one thing I thought of getting them was way above the $20-30 range we agreed on

[misterpp22]

First stop was Party City. I didn’t expect to find a lot there, but my family has a pseudo tradition of getting each other stupid joke gifts, so I thought it would be a good place to them. No luck, but I found, among other things, emoji t-shirts that made me want to vomit, an LA Rams sticker that said “end zone,” which is ironic because thats definitely somethj g they can’t find, and a fold out snack holder in the shape of a football stadium.

I then walked next door to Petsmart cause we sometimes get my cat things for Christmas and OH MY GOD THERE ARE A BUNCH OF CAGES FULL OF TINY PUPPIES AND CATS. I definitely walked into the right store. Might turn out beinf the highlight of the day. I also found two hedgehog shaped catnip toys for my cat and got in a big ass line. I feel like this is going to be a theme today

[misterpp22]

Operation "Finish my Christmas Shopping in under 24 hours" is a go. Can I do it without going insane in the process? Let's find out!

[misterpp22]

It’s a cool but not freezing December morning with a solid breeze and crystal clear skies and a few clouds hanging over the mountain that are remnants from last night’s rare LA downpour.

First stop: the bank. Gotta deposit a monthly allowance check from my mom so I have enough money to buy her a Christmas present. Ah the ironies of being an unemployed college student. Get me a job this year, Santa.

[misterpp22]

Stop 2: shopping area nearby my house with the world's absolute worst parking lot. Combine tiny ass spaces with random stop signs and speed bumps and an extremely high traffic volume with extremely poor layout, and you've got some idea what it's like. But there's a bunch of stores to possibly find stuff in.

I've got three people to shop for: my mom, my dad, and my friend because my group of friends is doing a secret santa. I'm really bad with secret santas usually, but the rest of my friends were enthusiastic about the idea and I support the concept, so I went along with it. More on that later. I will decline to name my friend because several members of the secret Santa group know my Tumblr and will probably see this. All I'm gonna say is that their wishlist was... Less than helpful and the one thing I thought of getting them was way above the $20-30 range we agreed on

[misterpp22]

Operation "Finish my Christmas Shopping in under 24 hours" is a go. Can I do it without going insane in the process? Let's find out!

[misterpp22]

It's a cool but not freezing December morning with a solid breeze and crystal clear skies and a few clouds hanging over the mountain that are remnants from last night's rare LA downpour.

First stop: the bank. Gotta deposit a monthly allowance check from my mom so I have enough money to buy her a Christmas present. Ah the ironies of being an unemployed college student. Get me a job this year, Santa.

[misterpp22]

Operation "Finish my Christmas Shopping in under 24 hours" is a go. Can I do it without going insane in the process? Let's find out!

[dictionarycomblr]

[misterpp22]

LITERALLY THE MOST OBVIOUS SENTENCE EVER UTTERED ABOUT WRITING, BUT OK GEORGE

[sevrilon]

What has science done

[misterpp22]

You all get a week before I start reblogging spoilers

[fandomsallaroundme]

My spoiler-free review of Rogue One: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[misterpp22]

Did you like it?

Friend: So did you like Rogue One?

Me: Yes. *Wipes away tears and sobs* It was amazing. *Howls like a banshee* I swear, it was amazing. *Curls up into ball and rocks back and forth* I loved it so... *Trembles* much. You should see it. *Starts to snot everywhere. You'll love it.

[wrestling-giffer]

[pleasedontsqueezetheshhh]

To ensure a separation of powers, the U.S. Federal Government is made up of three branches: legislative, executive and judicial.

[history-jokes]

if anyone was wondering how the US government works….. this is it

[thedailyshow]

Hockey has more black support than Donald Trump.

[foresthillary]

for sale: inaugural pantsuit. never worn.