Final Blog Post on This Blog
I haven't updated this blog in months. This is my last post on this tumblr before I create a new one. I learned how to write through this platform during my first three years of college, and I know how to write now. I need a new personal blog to reflect that.
I wrote this post late last night as I stayed up waiting to download 1989, the new Taylor Swift album. As I waited, I visited my childhood friend at her apartment uptown, where she cooked homemade Miami food. We talked about the last few years: boys, my parental issues, and Swift's Red.
I love her fourth album. My first listen coincided with a huge, life-changing fight with a boy, whom was, in retrospect, the first (and so far only) boy I have ever fallen in love with. As my friend walked her dog, I explained how each song on Red represented a moment in my troubled friendship with this boy: "State of Grace" (spotting him for the first time), "I Knew You Were Trouble" (drunkenly making out with him on a sticky floor), "Red" (feeling in love on a train to Scotland after a fight).
As I discussed the first few songs, I realized everything changed the last two years. I discovered I'm not biologically related to my father, I graduated and entered my 20s, my health dramatically worsened, and I psychologically recovered from a traumatic experience that happened the day my dad fell into a coma.
When I reached "Begin Again," the final track on Red, I choked up. My friend asked what the song stood for. My final day with the boy, I said, when he punched me, we never spoke again, and I decided to quit drinking.
I cried the night he punched me (I think at least; I was fucked up), but I'm glad my friendship with that boy ended terribly. Thanks to that experience, I was able to escape my inner Florida girl and become a good person. I began again, and I finally love who I am. That journey is what this blog was about.
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