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A confession, a request, and a touch of hope

Last May, I announced my idea to create a Mystery Science Theater 3000-themed museum and entertainment space in the same office park where the show was made in Minnesota, not far from my home. I did a ton of work and research to put together what seemed like a really solid plan, and I was so, so excited about it. But then the medication withdrawals kicked in. I had a psychiatric crash out that…

New Miss Misery YouTube Channel!

Hello wonderful readers! It’s been awhile – I hope you’re all thriving. I wanted to give you a quick update on my new creative project: a video essay YouTube channel called History Science Theater 3000! Every other week, I do a deep dive into the big wide world of my favorite TV series, Mystery Science Theater 3000. It’s a passion project many years in the making, and totally free to watch. You…

Miss Misery Newsletter #7: My Emotions Are Trying

failing, but trying Mental Health I wrote the following letter at one a.m. a couple nights ago, after a particularly bad bout of premenstrual mood symptoms got the best of me and I picked a wholly avoidable fight with my boyfriend. He thought these words were helpful, so I’m sharing them with you. I’m sorry, Brian. I adore you. Emotions always come with a message: that’s their evolutionary…

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Miss Misery Newsletter #6: The Returnening

Hello and welcome, or welcome back! I’ve missed writing for y’all, so after a brief, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it hiatus of… *checks notes* a year, I’m relaunching this newsletter. Let me reintroduce myself: Hi, I’m Zoe. Here I am last weekend getting my hair bloodied dyed: Self-care? Or head wound?? This weekly Substack newsletter covers topics I love writing about, like mental health and…

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Miss Misery Newsletter #5: Ask Me Anything, Borderline Edition

because misinformation and stigma make the disorder even worse Mental Health I’ve had three rounds of dialectical behavior therapy treatments. My therapists have always told me that thinking dialectically is the same thing as approaching life with a “both/and” attitude: that sometimes, conflicting ideas can exist simultaneously. As someone with borderline personality disorder, I often have to…

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Miss Misery Newsletter #4: Procrastiknitting

because my homework needles me Mental Health I’m gonna be honest, I’m a little sake-tipsy right now. In my defense, I just turned in the biggest project of the semester: a research paper based on data I collected from surveys I designed to test hypotheses I came up with. (It was a lot of work, especially for a poor English major who’s used to cranking out poetry analysis essays in two hours.)…

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Miss Misery Newsletter #3: Dating & BPD

it can be done Mental Health I was hanging out on a writing Discord the other day when the topic of personality disorders came up. I was eager to share my experiences with BPD, but before I had a chance to reveal my diagnosis, a stranger began complaining about their borderline ex. Which led to this exchange: Stranger: Well they can’t validate themselves it’s why cluster Bs seek external…

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MM Newsletter #2: Manuscripts, Knits, and Cat Pics, Oh My

it’s what the internet runs on Hi, I’m Zoe. Welcome back to Miss Misery.blog, where I post my weekly newsletter (which you can subscribe to for free!). How many issues deep are we now? Feels like twenty, maybe thirty? Regardless, I hope you brought your own beer. Misery and Mystery, A Novel I recently printed out a spiffy hard copy of my novel manuscript-in-progress at Office Depot. (Helpful…

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MM Newsletter #1: Welcome to Miss Misery!

Hello! Welcome to Miss Misery – or if you’re a returning reader, welcome back. I haven’t updated this site in a hot second, but that’s about to change, as I’ve just started publishing the Miss Misery Newsletter. Every Monday, I’ll publish its full contents on this blog. You’re welcome to subscribe to the letter or read each issue here! Either way, it’s free. So, without further ado, here’s MM…

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Circadian rhythms. Do they matter?

There's nothing inherently wrong with being nocturnal.

I’ve been on this Earth for a quarter of a century, and I still have no idea how the hell anyone is able to go to bed at a consistent time every night. To put this in context, I don’t do anything consistently. I can’t keep the same schedule two days in a row for the life of me. Mealtime is whenever I’m hungry, which is never predictable, and I get work done as I’m able, because I have several…

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I can't create if I'm thinking about creating.

New article: Mindfulness is important, but it kills my creative flow.

I’ve been in therapy for 13 years, and the most potent thing I’ve learned from my doctors is the value of being aware of my own thoughts and feelings. This awareness is called mindfulness, and it’s the very meta practice of monitoring your mind’s activities in order to stay grounded in reality. Your feelings are important; they inform your decisions. If you examine how your feelings want you to…

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Be skeptical of your gut instincts.

I think my stomach has a brain. It knew, long before I did, when the relationship wasn’t going to work. It tried to tell me as much when I had to sneak out of my partner’s bedroom night after night because I couldn’t stand his snoring or the smell of his pet rats. It knew as I held back tears because the frigid couch I called my makeshift bed displayed a pillow that said “Life is good!”. My…

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Love makes it easier to feel safe in the world.

In which I make sense of how my partner makes me less afraid of bugs.

When I woke up yesterday, I found I was sharing my bed with a little beetle that was crawling around just a few inches from my nose. Ordinarily, I would have immediately screamed and jumped out of bed, then run from the room. Instead, I surprised myself by examining the thing curiously for a few seconds before flicking it – with bare fingers! – off the sheet and onto the floor somewhere. I fell…

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Generalized anxiety disorder is like a phobia of everything.

I’m afraid of everything. There are many different types of phobias, and most of them are specific. Lots of people are scared of places, like small spaces or tall heights; others have a strong aversion to certain objects, like spiders or blood; and others avoid specific scenarios, like flying or being surrounded by strangers. Triggers like these range far and wide, but they all have something in…

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The heart of a successful relationship is secure attachment.

My wonderful boyfriend recently recommended a book to me called Hold Me Tight. The author, Dr. Sue Johnson, is the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which is a process that helps fighting couples heal their relationships. In her book, Dr. Johnson describes the outdated way in which couples therapy has worked in the past: partners are encouraged to simply communicate what they’re…

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Thoughtful Thursday: November 12, 2020

It’s Thoughtful Thursday again, which means it’s time to pull out our notebooks and journal for just a few minutes about whatever’s on our mind. Journaling is a very low-risk way to reap many health benefits, including decreased depression and anxiety and increased self-awareness. (Seriously, it’s been studied.) So, whenever you have five minutes free today, jot down the loudest thoughts in your…

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Today we return to hope.

It’s easier to wake up to a world that isn’t trying to kill me.

It’s been extremely difficult to recover from my mental illness these last four years. All the progress I make inside my head is stunted severely by the knowledge that if it were up to my government – my “representatives” – I would suffer from a disorder that’s not my fault, and I’d be denied medical care on the basis of my income…

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