The Inheritance, 2026 by Kelvin Jumanne (Tanzanian, b. 1999); Charcoal, graphite and oil pastel on coventry paper, 40x55 in
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@apocryphalpope
The Inheritance, 2026 by Kelvin Jumanne (Tanzanian, b. 1999); Charcoal, graphite and oil pastel on coventry paper, 40x55 in
I maintain that the best summation of my feminist beliefs are that men and women are not fundamentally different. There are a few quantifiable differences if you average out every woman and every man, but they are not qualitative. And most of them are socially constructed, and would be fixed if we started treating men and women the same. Neither is inherently smarter, neither is inherently kinder, neither is inherently more stoic or stronger or angrier or softer. Everyone is obsessed with the differences between women and men, with finding them and creating them and distancing themselves from the "other half". It's fucked up
Honestly surprised that Lucy Hebron doesn't get more attention in media focusing on the Sherlock Holmes extended universe.
Like, you're born in Atlanta Georgia sometime in the 1880s. Your mother is a white English immigrant. Your father is an African American lawyer who has managed to become fairly wealthy off his practice.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle claims that your parents were married, but they almost certainly weren't or, if they were, they probably had to go elsewhere to get married and their marriage wouldn't have been recognised in Georgia. Realistically, they were facing huge amounts of prejudice that are only increased when you are born.
(Your mother openly says, in front of you when you're older, that it is a “great misfortune” that you were born with darker skin than even your father.)
Then disaster strikes. Your father dies. Your mother can't stand to stay in America without him and returns to England.
She does not take you with her. She says this is because of your health. It's just way healthier for you to stay where you are, as a parentless mixed race child in the Jim Crow era American South. Rather than going with your only living relative to England (which, while obviously still very racist, at least doesn't have any actual laws against people like you existing).
Your mother meets a new man. A merchant. He's white. She signs over all your father's money and investments to him when they marry. She doesn't tell him about you. She's worried he wouldn't understand. She later explains that this was a major ordeal for her. That she struggled in vain to resist the urge to send for you for three years, until it got too much to bear.
So now you live in England. In a cottage on the estate that was partly paid for by your father's money.
You're not allowed to leave the cottage, because if anyone sees you outside in the daylight then they might find out that you're black. While you're in the cottage, even (apparently) at nighttime, you are made to wear long gloves and a fucking mask, so that nobody can accidentally look through the window and find out that you're black.
Your mother visits you occasionally. She tells you that you're her “own girlie and mother's pet” whether you're “dark or fair”. When her husband comes to see what's going on, you and your nurse get shoved out the back door so he won't see you and find out that you're black.
Unfortunately, your stepfather has noticed that his wife keeps randomly going off in the middle of the night to visit a mysterious cottage where the only inhabitant seem to be a weirdly secretive servant woman and a strange masked figure, and has decided that something Fucked Up is going on.
So he goes to consult the Great Detective Sherlock Holmes. Normally, the Great Detective Sherlock Holmes can work this kind of shit out in his sleep, but unfortunately your family is so dysfunctional that you override his borderline magical deduction abilities, and the best theory he can come up with is either “secret affair” or “weirdly convoluted blackmail scheme”.
Fortunately however, this does lead to your stepfather eventually meeting you and finding out who you are. Including the fact that you're black.
Turns out he's fine with it.
Like completely. Quite possibly more so than your own mother is. Turns out there was no need for the traumatic abandonment, the years of separation and then the even more traumatic being forced to live like The Man In The Iron Mask in a cottage in the middle of nowhere.
Nope. Turns out you could have been allowed to go outside in daylight this entire time. You all go back to the big house (that was paid for in part with your father's investments) together and we never find out what happens to you.
I mean… what. The. Fuck.
Like, I'm not expecting Sir Arthur CD to have written an entire child psychology textbook to go with what was meant to be a fun little short story about racial tolerance, but holy shit.
I want a book about teenage Lucy Hebron at boarding school dealing with all the fucked up shit that went on in her childhood whilst also solving mysteries with the help of correspondence from her friend and mentor Sherlock Holmes. I want that shit yesterday.
YOU. YOU understand my vision.
No no you misheard me. I'm actually a loansome cowboy. I roam these here ranges lookin' for trouble to pay off my student debts.
Doing stuff "childish" is okay and even good actually
- If using plates and silverware meant for kids means you will eat more often and/or find more joy out of eating, good! *
- If using a divided plate means you are going to feel more comfortable eating, good!
- If having a water bottle with your favorite character/show on it means you are going to drink more water, good!
- If having children's toothbrushes and toothpaste means you are going to brush your teeth more often, good!
- If watching tooth brushing videos aimed at kids makes brushing more enjoyable/helps prompt you to brush correctly, good!
- If taking a stuffed animal or other toy out with you means you are going to feel a little safer, good!
- If using a nightlight (esp one with characters on it) makes you feel safer and helps you sleep better, good!
- If you find coloring in books made for children/simpler pictures more enjoyable, good!
- If decorating your living space with "childish" things with characters or bright colors is going to make your space more enjoyable/usable, good!
- If using organization systems and prompts aimed at children is going to help you actually use them, good!
- If you enjoy media aimed at children, and it brings you joy and makes your days a little easier, good!
No matter what your age is, you are allowed to use the things that bring joy into your life or make your life easier to manage. You do not need to "grow up" or "do it like an adult". You can do it in whatever way works best for you. There should be no shame in it. I think some of us want to beat the allegations that autism makes us more "childlike" thinking it makes us more palatable, when having "age-inappropriate interests" are a commonly known trait. It is normal to have autistic traits when you have autism. You don't need to hide it or pretend you don't. Yes I know not all autistics are interested in this stuff either but that's not my focus
* also there have been studies done that people tend to absorb more nutrition from foods they enjoy, so you are doing yourself a huge favor by making eating fun!
whole lipstick on a pig is bogus to me because we put lipstick on a pig and this is what happened
when i was born they rushed all the nurses into the room. called the whole hospital. Here’s the baby that doesn’t cry they said
we love to applaud performative masculinity
I was a stoic
The really unfortunate thing about mental health progress is that sometimes you realize you've made it in the form of "wow, I haven't felt this bad in a fucking while"
On the one hand it's a bit of a pick me up in a dark place to know that this will pass because it has passed before on the other hand sometimes it isn't entirely a pleasant thought to go "wow, I used to feel like this all the time. That was pretty fucking bad. It's pretty bad right now too also."
Someday your current baseline will be the sort of thing you consider A Really Bad Day. It does get better.
peasant visionary: & then it stood before me, a towering wheel of flame that beheld me with 10,000 shimmering eyes!
me: idk man it still sounds like an ocular migraine
peasant visionary: #MyGrain
so tw! but
call me tone deaf but I adore using mental health as a literary device. I wield that shit like a lightsaber
my pet rn is eating disorder specifically. think Severus from Harry Potter, Sasuke from Naruto, I'm even toying with Bakugo from MHA. I love the idea of a closed-off, secretive person slowly recovering from trauma or healing insecurities. I also love if it's the reverse and broody black cat steps out of their comfort zone because they see the indestructible golden retriever in pain.
thoughts??
Don’t talk about anything Harry Potter in a positive light on this blog. That’s my thoughts.
way to rain on a parade
I sent you an ask because I like your content and was giddy to see your answer
Harry Potter severely rains on my parade
And I dunno. Just try to be respectful I guess? Sometimes you get obsessed with a concept and good for you as long as you’re trying your best but seriously the creator of Harry Potter is funding legislation to hurt people like me so like I kinda don’t care if I’m raining on your parade when it comes to that particular topic.
With all due respect, I mentioned Severus as a poster child for a tragic/broody character, which he objectively fits however much you foam at the mouth against Rowling. I don't support or appreciate her authorship to a series I love so much, either.
I honestly don't think you read the rest of the ask. I mentioned HP in 4 words of 89 - 4% of the post - yet that seems to be your focal point.
I did in fact read the rest of the ask. I’m zeroing in on the Harry Potter bit because it’s actually that bad. You could’ve just been like “whoops” or resumed again with a different set of characters and we could’ve continued this conversation but nothing like that has happened and you have instead defended your use of something that I disapprove of because of the way it funds human rights violations.
I wish you luck with your writing. If you’re going to be publishing your work having to do with eating disorders I’d suggest at the very least doing a bit of research on the subject but if you’re just writing for yourself the amount of care you wanna put into it is ultimately up to you.
At the canal ☘️
The Amnesty International report that JK Rowling is trying to censor through legal threats.
It can also be found on Google Drive here and on Bluesky here.
Please save and share this info where possible. This report has since been removed by Amnesty International due to legal threats of libel from JK Rowling. This information is no longer easily accessible.
"Imagine," says the voice, "that you were underneath a blanket. It's a little small, so your feet poke out from underneath it, and your arms come out from either side."
"Okay," says the human, dangling upside down, suspended by a group of tentacles. "I got it."
"Right," says the voice, which comes from everywhere and nowhere. "Now consider a cat. The cat thinks you're kind of like a cat, but you're so big, he has some problems understanding that all of your body is really you."
"Am I the-"
"Yes. Now listen. Especially under the blanket, the cat doesn't really know where your body begins and ends. He sees your feet, and decides to attack them. He's only play-fighting, but his claws are real sharp, so it hurts. What would you do?"
"Well," says the human, gently spinning in the tentacle's grasp, "I'd try to tuck my feet under the blanket."
"Ah, but then it's even worse," claims the voice, triumphantly, "because now your cat sees Blanket Monsters and attacks them twice as hard."
"So you have to grab the cat."
"It's either that or burrito her," says the voice, squeezing the human in the grip of its tentacles. "And since in this metaphor the blanket represents the fabric of reality as you know it, I don't think you'd find it very pleasant."
"Fair enough," says the human, blood beginning to pool in her head. "Can you please put me down, now? I promise I won't attack you again."
"That's what the cat says every time, too, and yet..."
so thinking about this, i am reminded of graystoke, the smartest cat by far that i ever had.
graystoke hated feet and frequently attacked them.
and one day, when he was probably ten or so, he attacked my feet, and i said ow, and he suddenly stared at me with this look of absolute horror. and he did not attack feet again.
im fucking crying
you can always change. you realize that, right? if you feel stuck and stagnant, and you aren’t proud of who you are, you can change that. the world is not that serious and things are constantly growing and changing. i mean, think about it: the trees change every season; 4 times a year. you can do that, too.
at any point, you can change and grow into someone you are proud of.