My Life Explained by Disney.

Have fun!

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When the doctor asks how many drinks I have per week.

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When I see commercials for 13 nights of Halloween on ABC Family.

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Waiting for my Fall shows to start again.

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When someone says happy first day of Fall.

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Trying to work hungover.

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Looking at the work you have to get done after a long weekend.

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Trying to sneak out of the office early for a long weekend.

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Finding out Tom Brady isn’t going to be suspended.

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When I ask my friend to get a pizza with me but she says she’s on a diet.

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When I’m drunk and need food at 3am.

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Motivating my hungover self to go to brunch on Sunday.

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When I want to go out but can’t afford it and my friend says they’ll pay.

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When my friend tells me they ordered just a pizza but no appetizers.

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OkCupid dating . . .

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When my boss asks me if I got that assignment done and I definitely haven’t.

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Me, anytime I smoke weed.

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Trying to figure out what the drunk guy is saying to my friend and I while hitting on us.