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Sweet Seals For You, Always

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@mmarkcohenn
When Rihanna said “none of my ex’s are married or in happy relationships so it’s safe to say I wasn’t the problem” LMAOOOO I FELT THAT
hello, 911? i’d like to report a mass mercy killing
What? No april fools joke this year tumblr staff? Not really feelin it this year tumblr staff? No quip about copy or lizards tumblr staff? No weird horse we have to keep alive tumblr staff? No fake premium avatars tumblr staff?? You disgust me
fun facts: apparently the april fool’s day joke was contained entirely in the group chat function, which nobody fucking uses
If our love isn’t gonna be like this, I don’t want it
animal crossing devs: okay, we’ll put tarantulas in the game to encourage kids to not play too much at night :)
unemployed, quarantined millenials frothing at the mouth at the thought of being able to pay off a mortgage: TARANTULA ISLAND TARANTULA ISLAND TARANTULA ISLAND
Current mood
mood. and alternatively:
A neighbor called and said she saw a swarm on a fire hydrant so I grabbed my bucket and ran there as fast as I could. I dabbed some lemongrass oil on the bottom of it and they walked in. After about 5 minutes I just scooped the rest in and bam! Free bees!
I got the queen on the first scoop too though. Apparently she was a new one because she was piping in there really loudly. This is my first personal swarm catch so honestly I’m not sure if that was supposed to happen or not.
What other website am i going to see posts where the op talks about “bam! Free bees!”
I feel this is an appropriate post to retell the time my dad got free bees (found an extra thrown swarm) but didn’t have any equipment to transport them, so he just grabbed the queen in a pint jar, let the other swarm into his Ford Escort, and drove down the highway to home with a swarm of bees loose in the car.
I would honestly die of delight to find someone who watched my dad (~72 white guy) driving down a major Illinois highway with a swarm of bees loose in the car just chillin.
I’m sorry, he’s just like that.
Imagine getting pulled over by the cops and just turning to the bees like Sic em gang
there is NOTHING like the rage of searching for a post you KNOW is on your blog with a highly specific phrase and then not only can this website not find it but tumblr says something fucking stupid like ‘please don’t be mad. please’