melencholy.max

[mmax2million]

basic stuff

My name is Max, im a minor, and this is just me venting however i wanna cause sometimes you really just gotta talk

credits for the banner go to @cafekitsune

[mmax2million]

dude my mom.

my fucking mom.

she screams at me for showering because then we're two minutes late but then she parks at the end of the parking lot when im thirty minutes late to my band concert.

so then i run and fuck up my calf (it hurts so much im not even overexaggerating i am in agony while walking) and I make it cause im the goat

but qqhwe4iuyjhq4y

you cant fucking yell at me for being late and then not atleast try to speed to the concert you fuckin bitch oh my days i cannot wait to be away from you

and shes always so passive agressive too

"yeah well no one listens to me anyways"

"Yeah I know we have to hurry"

and my dad isnt any help either because im never gonna talk to him again cause my older brother is home

he just says "just let them roll off your shoulders its the only way to sustain the relationship" dawg i want to live in europe for two reasons and one of them is to stay away from you two

my goodness

oh and you know im slowly loosing motivation in the one thing thats been keeping me going (bahamas)

and also she never knocks? I shouldn't have to worry about you walking into my room when im changing?? but I cant get a lock right right

[mmax2million]

crying over a phone at my grown ass age is embarrassing as fuck but my emotional regulation is bad so i can't stop

i knew it was too fucking good of a deal to be true

i'm so sick of her getting my hopes up

[mmax2million]

oh and my dad hates me too now so

he's slamming dishes and doors and shit because i didn't want to go out for breakfast but i can't tell if he's mad at me because he keeps smiling and shit and i just

it's getting harder and harder to even want to be here

and my moms trying to spend money on me now? for clothes? no fucker i thought we didn't have a cent to spare? i thought we had to fix the house? and then she starts interrogating me asking why i don't wanna go shopping?? cause i don't fucking like you probably?? cause you said you have more important things to spend your money on but then you wanna spend it on me??? clothes isn't the same as thinking i might finally get something cool without the entire family chipping in btw

i'm too scared to kill myself otherwise i probably wouldn't have made it to meet my best friend

[mmax2million]

crying over a phone at my grown ass age is embarrassing as fuck but my emotional regulation is bad so i can't stop

i knew it was too fucking good of a deal to be true

i'm so sick of her getting my hopes up

[mmax2million]

almost gave it all away when i woke up and my dad was giving me breakfast and i scratched my head with the hand... and I wasn't wearing long sleeves!! GEULP !!!

[mmax2million]

broke up with my girlfriend of basically a year today and i'm yk kinda all over the place and my mom keeps asking if im okay every two fucking seconds.

it's pissing me off i just wanna be left alone ffs

[bleedingbabyb0y]

I can't believe self harm harms me

[bleedingbabyb0y]

They should figure out why it does this

[mmax2million]

i wonder if my mom knows she's the reason i cut myself.

🤷

[mmax2million]

i mean if i'm they problem it's okay then right guys

[mmax2million]

i wonder if my mom knows she's the reason i cut myself.

🤷

[mmax2million]

guys is it bad that i'm so spacey to the point of me forgetting what's real and what isn't

and like i don't feel emotion normally unless im sobbing my eyes out cause life is just a video game amiright or amiright

[mmax2million]

now's the time where i wish i was spacey constantly ! i think im gonna force myself back to that

[mmax2million]

what am i

[mmax2million]

you have to verify your age on cai now so..

thats me never returning to it.!

[mmax2million]

having to ask gods for your love shouldn't be necessary. I've put too much work into this relationship for you to not reciprocate. please.

[mmax2million]

i almost went on the evil cite of doom an dispair but instead i just ran to the fic instead..

[mmax1million]

i am bored...

[mmax2million]

i was about to go on THE DEVILISH SITE OF DOOM AND POOR ENVIROMENTAL COSTS.......... but I didn't be proud of me

[mmax2million]

found out theres different types of dissociative identity disorders that aren't all just the symptoms of the "classic" (for lack of a better term) DID. also found out that I have a couple few. yay.

[mmax2million]

AO3 IS BACK FOR ME I LOVE MY LIFE ITS WORTH LIVING AGAAINNN

so basically it was down and i got really upset cause comfort fics help yknow and then it also helps with the bahamas/ref and it helps me stop theaddiction of dispair and agony. and its back now! UFCKING LETS FO