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Sweatshirt Snuggles - choi yeonjun x reader
✦ genre: fluff
✦ pairing: choi yeonjun as your boyfriend
✦ word count: 783
✦ summary: cuddling with your boyfriend, yeonjun, wearing his favourite panda sweatshirt to chase away your fever
“Awww, is my baby finally awake?,” Yeonjun cooed in adoration seeing you groggily waddle to him, wearing his oversized panda sweatshirt.
It was big enough to almost come up to almost your knees, and the sleeves were too long, making it seem like you were drowning in soft material.
“I thought a nap would help, but I still feel like crap,” You frowned, sitting beside him on the couch. You rubbed your eyes, feeling the soft fabric of Yeonjun's panda sweatshirt wrap around you, making Yeonjun look at you fondly.
Yeonjun couldn't help but smile at your adorably dishevelled appearance, "Someone looks cozy.”
"I am cozy. Your sweatshirt is like a warm, fluffy cloud. I feel like a real panda in it,” Yeonjun chuckled upon hearing your words as you leaned your head against his shoulder.
“You look like one too with the dark circles and all,” Yeonjun teased, his hand coming up to ruffle your hair affectionately as you glared at him for his remark.
You rolled your eyes but couldn't deny the warmth and comfort the oversized sweatshirt provided. It was like being wrapped in a cozy and warm hug from him, which was strangely comforting even in this uncomfortable situation.
Yeonjun's expression shifted from amusement to concern as you let out a small sneeze. He reached out and touched your forehead, checking your temperature, his expression becoming more worried. "You're still feverish.”
“Let me go and get your medicine. You'll feel better,” He was getting up to go to the kitchen when he was stopped by you grabbing his wrist.
“Can't you just stay here with me? We can cuddle,” You looked up at him as you frowned, not wanting him to leave you. Yeonjun paused for a moment, taken aback by your response.
"Sweetheart.. you need to take medicine,” He said gently, not wanting to leave you in pain. But at the same time, you were being so cute and clingy right now, and he didn't want to leave your side either.
“I'll take them later. Let's cuddle now, please,” You patted the spot next to you impatiently so he would lay down.
"Alright, I'll stay, but when you wake up, you'll take your medicine, okay?” He sighed as he laid on the couch, pulling you closer to him so you could lay on top of him and rested your head against his chest.
He wrapped a blanket around the both of you, wanting to keep you as warm as possible.
“Are you comfortable, honey?,” He softly asked, gently running his fingers through your hair.
“It feels really warm,” You rubbed your head against him, making him want to pinch your cheeks due to your cuteness.
“Of course it's warm. It's me after all,” Yeonjun chuckled softly, his chin gently rested on the top of your head.
“No, it is the panda sweatshirt,” He raised an eyebrow as he watched you groggily slump against his chest, trying to get all the warmth you can from him. You let out a small yawn as you lifted your head up to look at him, giving him a weak smile.
“Whatever floats your boat,” He grinned as he noticed how you were slowly getting sleepy and pulled the blanket tighter around the both of you.
"Tired, huh? You can always sleep, sweetheart,” You sleepily nodded as you closed your eyes, his fingers resuming to run through your hair, gently massaging your scalp.
His eyes wandered over your face. He loved how you looked so peaceful right now, you looked so adorable that he wanted to bite your slightly flushed cheeks.
He couldn't help but notice how adorable you looked. Despite being sick, your flushed cheeks and the oversized sweatshirt covering you like a blanket was so endearing to him.
“Yeonjun?,” You sleepily mumbled, clutching the fabric of his shirt in your fist, barely conscious.
“Yes, baby?,” He softly asked, placing a small kiss on the top of your head.
“When I get better, I'll wear all of your sweatshirts,” You sleepily murmured, making him lovingly gaze down at you and chuckle at your demand.
“Of course, you can wear whatever you want,” He chuckled, giving into the temptation and pinching your cheeks. He could feel how you were nuzzling into his chest, leaning into his touch and he loved it so much.
You tiredly lifted your head up a bit to look at him and asked, “Even the one with the little froggies on it?.”
“Even the one with the little froggies on it,” He confirmed, softly smiling as he saw you let out a sleepily little “yay” before fully resting your head against his chest and slowly drifting off to sleep.
©sxmmerberries
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Bottled Emotions - choi soobin x reader
✦ genre: angst
✦ pairing: choi soobin as your ex-boyfriend
✦ word count: 1, 559
✦ warning: mentions of depression and drinking
✦ summary: a stranger called your ex, soobin, who you broke up with and ghosted months ago, to take you home as you got drunk at a bar
Soobin was just about to call it a night, but before he could do so, his phone buzzed with an unknown number. He frowned, wondering who would be calling him so late at night. He answered the call and spoke in a cautious tone, “Hello? Who is this?”
“Hey, is this Soobin?,” the unknown voice asked with a hint of urgency in her tone.
"Yeah, it is. Who is this?,” He asked warily, a bit suspicious of the person on the other end of the phone.
“So I met this girl, Y/ N, in the bathroom of the bar. She is really drunk. She apparently came alone, and I went through her phone for a contact to call her and found your number,” the stranger explained.
Soobin's heart clenched as he heard the mention of Y/N's name. The pain of the break up was still fresh in his mind, and he had been avoiding you as much as possible.
He had been trying to focus on moving on, and now he was being dragged back into your world. He sighed, conflicted about what to do. On one hand, he doesn't want to ever see your face again, and on the other hand, he can't just leave you all alone and abandoned at a bar when you were that drunk. He knew what you were like when you get drunk, running off in any random direction and being a cute idiot.
“And what do you want me to do about it?,” He tried to sound nonchalant as if he didn't give a damn about what happened to you even though he was worried sick for you within.
"I was wondering if you could pick her up and take her home. She's a bit of a mess right now, and I don't know where she lives. I don't think she'll appreciate a stranger taking her home,” the stranger spoke in a pleading tone, hoping that Soobin would agree to help.
He unknowingly let out a bitter smile as he reminisced about the times he dragged you to bed after you were drunk and how he helped you with your hangover as you grumbled in the morning or how you used to drunkenly confess all your love for him cutely.
“Fine, I am coming to pick her up. Text me the address,” He sighed, grabbing his car keys and heading out to his car.
As Soobin made his way to the bar, his heart was about to burst with emotions. He couldn't deny the fact that he still cared for you, despite the pain you caused him. He knew that he was doing this as a favour, but he couldn't help wanting to see you again.
It had been months since he had last seen you months since you guys had broken up. Months since he had heard your voice, seen your face. He had spent so much time trying to get over you, trying to move on, and now this. The “Let's never see each other again” rang through his head constantly as he drove.
When he arrived at the bar, he parked his car and got out, walking towards the entrance. He could already hear the loud music and lively chatter coming from inside.
The bar was crowded, with people talking loudly and music playing in the background. Soobin searched for any sign of the drunk, finally spotting you sitting in a corner with an unknown girl standing with her.
He approached her and took the glass away from your hand and smiled at the stranger, “Thank you for taking care of her. I'll take her home now.”
“No problem, I just wanted to make sure she went home safely,” The stranger gave you one last pat on the head and left to be with her friends.
“Soobie, is that you?,” Y/N looked up as Soobin stood in front of you, your eyes widened in surprise.
“Can you walk?,” He asked bluntly, taking in your flushed state.
“Yes, I can,” Your lie was exposed immediately as you tried to stand up from the tool and fell on the ground.
Soobin sighed at the sight before helping you stand up and threw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes despite your protests and walked out of the bar
He reached his car and carefully placed you in the passenger seat, making sure she was buckled in before shutting the door and getting into the driver's seat. The silence in the car was tense, and Soobin couldn't help but steal glances at you as he started the engine to drive away from the bar.
“Soobin? I am sorry,” You apologized in your drunken state, your words slurring over.
“Sorry doesn't fix anything, Y/N. I don't want to hear anything,” He focused on the road, his grip on the steering wheel tightening.
You slumped in your seat in disappointment as you felt a pang of guilt in your chest. The rest of the ride was silent with Soobin ignoring your existence and you looking out of the window as the neighbourhood you lived in came into view.
He couldn't help but feel a mix of frustration and resentment towards you. He had pushed his feelings for you to the back of his mind, but now, seeing you drunk like this, brought back all the pain he had gone through when you broke up with him.
“I'll just drop her off and never ever see her again,” He thought.
Finally, you reached your apartment building, and Soobin parked the car. He got out and went around to the passenger side door, opening it and helping you out.
They slowly made their way to your apartment door, and Soobin waited as you fumbled with your keys, trying to find the right one. He side eyed you as he huffed in annoyance.
“Just give it to me,” He snatched the keys out of your hand and unlocked the door for you.
He pushed the door open and guided you inside, flicking on the light switch on. Soobin had been here many times before, and the familiar surroundings hit him like a wave of déjà vu.
He helped you to the couch, making you sit down on it before bringing a glass of water for you to drink from the kitchen.
"Drink it all,”
“No, I need to apologise first. I don't think I'll ever get a chance like this ever again,”
"It's a little too late for apologies, don't you think?,” He crossed his arms and looked down at you, with a cold look.
“I am so sorry for everything. I shouldn't have pushed you away or walked away without any explanation that day,” You apologized, staring at the ground, not having the courage to face him directly.
"You think sorry is enough? You think just saying sorry will magically fix everything?,” Soobin let out a bitter chuckle.
“I am so sorry. I didn't want to burden you any further,” You winced, feeling the coldness of his tone.
"Burden? Is that what you think I saw you as? A burden?,” Soobin stared at you blankly.
“I didn't want you to waste your time on me…You didn't deserve to be constantly walking on thin ice because of me. You didn't deserve to be constantly comforting me for things beyond your control. You didn't deserve to be kept awake for nights just so I don't have another nightmare. You didn't deserve to be constantly abandoning things just to take care of me. You deserve so much better, Soobin” Your voice cracked at the end as you kept your tears in.
"You think I didn't want to be there for you? I loved taking care of you. I did that because I love and I care about you,” Soobin knelt down to your level and cupped your cheeks in his hands.
“I wish you'd have just talked to me about it. We could've figured out something together,” He sighed, wiping away the tears that escaped.
“I am sorry for being so selfish, but I miss you a lot. I miss you every day, every hour, every minute, every second. Everything reminds me of you. Please just stay. I am sorry. I won't do it again. I'll do better. Please don't go,” You begged, grasping his hand in yours
"You can't just push me away and then beg me to stay. You broke my heart and ghosted me for months, Y/N. It doesn't work like that,” Soobin removed his hand away from yours, his resolve slowly dissolving.
"I am so sorry, please. I want-no-I need you. I'll do anything you want, please. Please don't go,” You grasped his hand, gripping it tightly as if he'd disappear any second.
Soobin's eyes widened in shock as you begged him to stay. He never saw you this desperate for something ever.
“We need to talk about all this properly. Not like this when you're drunk,” He sighed, pulling you off of the couch and heading towards your room with you following behind him.
“Sleep, we'll talk in the morning,” He helped you get into bed, tucked you in before closing the door behind him and taking a seat on the living room couch.
“This was such a long night,” He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair.
©sxmmerberries
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Ramen Theif - choi yeonjun as your older brother
✦ . ☆ ˚ * ✦ . . ✦ ˚ ☆ ˚ .˚˚
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . ☆ . ✦ ˚ . ★
✦ genre: crack fic
✦ pairing: choi yeonjun as your older brother
©sxmmerberries
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networks: @moadiarynet @kstrucknet @k-films @starlit-network
like clockwork / c.sb
soobin x reader
summary: in a world where love is given an expiration date, you find your forever home in an unexpected place.
word count: 10.1k
tags: soulmate!au, best friends to lovers, mostly romance + fluff, fake dating if you squint, reader is afab w/ gender neutral pronouns + fem terms (noona) used
author's note: finally got around to finishing this... it's been a long while coming and i couldn't get myself to write for various reasons and i'm so happy it's all done and out there! (also for any black mirror fans out there, yes this is loosely based on the 'hang the dj' episode but way more lighthearted and with a dash of soulmate brainrot) hope you enjoy and wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season <3
For as long as Soobin can remember, he’s been counting down the days.
To summer vacation, to the end of his shift at his part time job, to the start of a long awaited trip, to anything. But there’s something else that counts down on his behalf, something that he doesn’t particularly want to count.
That something is inlaid in a nondescript watch wrapped around his wrist. Everyone gets one once they turn 18, and as far as he’s concerned, its only purpose is to ruin relationships. The cruel hands of time assign a “best by” date to each romantic encounter, flashing on the screen from the first meeting, with each failure promising to lead the user closer and closer to their fated lover. If you ask Soobin, it’s all bullshit. How would a stupid watch know anything about fate, anyways?
It’s a typical Thursday night, and Soobin’s mindlessly scrolling through Time to Love, the government mandated dating app that all phones come with, as per usual when he can’t decide on something to watch. He has yet to meet the weekly two date quota, having only gone on one on Tuesday (important to note that he’s already forgotten his name), and he’s running out of time, and he really can’t afford to pay that 100,000 won fine this week. Well, he can’t afford to pay it at any point in time, but this week’s been especially rough on him, and he doesn’t want to shell out any more of his meager savings just because he couldn’t get a date, of all things.
The names and faces on his phone screen are a blur as his thumb swipes left aimlessly– he doesn’t really give that much of a shit who he ends up with, because at the end of the day, he’ll say “No” when the app asks him if he’d liked them and give them a terrible review saying they were incompatible, because frankly, the algorithm seems to always be wrong when it comes to his matches. Either that, or it’s because he cares so little that he doesn’t bother properly vetting his matches.
He’s resigned himself to his fate anyways; he’ll fill up his progress bar with a bunch of shitty matches until the algorithm decides it’s time for him to settle down, then when he finds his “soulmate” (if you could even call it that), he’ll just be doomed to a loveless arranged marriage set in place by a computer and die unhappy. He can’t envision happiness ever coming out of something so lifeless, so cold, so that’s just how it has to be. At least it gives him something to do instead of rewatching the same three anime series over and over again.
Whatever– he’ll just swipe right on the next person and go on yet another unmemorable date tomorrow. Lee Saerom, the profile reads. She’s exceptionally pretty, he has to admit, and she’s an artist, (and she’s older, but don’t ask him about that) so he’ll just ask her about her work and let her ramble for the allotted two hours while he smiles and nods.
He swipes right, and a bright pink heart pattern fills his screen, signifying a successful match. Obnoxious. It’s replaced with a time and a place, and he lets out a groan. Congratulations! Your date is scheduled for 6pm, at the Coffee Shop. He was supposed to meet you at 7 tomorrow for your usual Friday night updates.
Fuck. What if the date goes on longer than an hour?
He’s never been late for your weekly meetups, but he figures you’ll understand, since it’s completely out of his control.
Surely you won’t kill him, right?
Just in case, he recites a prayer to himself before he tucks in for the night.
You’re already nursing your third vodka soda of the night and Soobin is still nowhere to be found, which is unusual. He’s never been the most punctual person, but standing you up for an hour after your usual meeting time isn’t like him, either. He said he’d be late, but he didn’t specify how late… you’ll grill him later when he explains himself, and you’ll make him buy you a drink or two as compensation. With the comfort of a free drink in mind, you’re about to order your fourth round when Soobin finally stumbles in through the door of the bar, eyes scanning each booth until his gaze lands on you, and with an apologetic smile, he’s sliding into the seat across from you.
He gestures to your glass, brow curled upwards, which you know means he’s teasing you. “What number is this one, noona? You always polish these things off like they’re nothing.”
“This is number three, with number four on the way, and that’s because they are. You owe me at least two for taking so long to get here, asshole.” You let out an indignant huff as you slurp the last of the cocktail through your straw, lips jutting in a comical pout.
“Okay, okay. Next one’s on me.” Soobin relents with an endeared laugh, waving down the waitstaff and ordering a beer for himself, along with another vodka soda for you.
“Okay, now spill.”
“What? Am I supposed to have some hot gossip for you? Don’t make me guess about what drama I’ve somehow found myself in on accident.” He’s visibly confused, brows knitted together, and you roll your eyes at him.
“Obviously the only reason you would ever skip out on your dear noona was if TTL scheduled you for a date during our usual time, so spill. How bad was this one?”
His lips part in understanding, (you can practically see the figurative lightbulb flickering on) head bobbing in an exaggerated nod before pulling his phone out, hand outstretched to show you his date’s profile. “I mean, she was okay, I guess. Pretty girl, and she was older, but she spent the entirety of our time slot babbling about her latest art project and how it’s supposedly going to blow away the industry. Which is fine, I guess, because you know I hate talking on these dates, but if she said “brush technique” and “negative space” one more time I think I would’ve tried to drown myself in my caffe mocha. The app thought so too, I guess, because when we checked our expiration date, it was exactly an hour from the start time, so it’s not like I missed out on my forever soulmate or whatever.”
Each TTL date is scheduled for an arbitrary amount of time, depending on your expiration date, which is determined from the first moment you meet– sometimes it’s just a few minutes, an hour or two, and anything longer than 24 hours is given a two hour time slot maximum. There’s supposedly an extremely rare case where you aren’t given an expiration date from the get go, regardless of your progress, meaning that you’ve found your soulmate by sheer luck, but it’s almost unheard of– most people don’t find their soulmates until they’ve completely filled up their bars, something about needing ample data to calculate optimal compatibility.
You ogle at his phone screen for a bit– she really was stunning– then guffaw at the thought of Soobin nodding halfheartedly, listening to a pretty girl talk his ear off, when most men would probably kill to be in his position. “Damn, if even an older woman that pretty can’t hold your attention, and the app confirms that, you know it’s bad… So, where does that put your progress at? Weren’t you at like, 80% last week?”
Soobin’s face practically scrunches in on itself at your remark, tapping the app once more to check his updated progress bar. “I’m going to ignore that. I’m at… 88% after I reviewed Saerom and that guy from earlier in the week. Guess it wasn’t a total waste if I got 8% closer to completion. What are you at now?”
You lift your phone to open TTL, your progress bar only having inched 2% closer to completion after your date yesterday. “75% now. I think the algorithm is personally fucking me over, or something. My last few matches have been nice enough, but I cannot keep up with their energy. It’s wringing me dry. I must be the only person in the entire world who doesn’t want a golden retriever for a partner. My date yesterday just about knocked me out for good, he was that energetic.”
“Tell me about it,” Soobin commiserates. “I’ve very clearly expressed my distaste for bubbly and talkative people who probably peaked in high school, but that’s all they’re spitting out in my for you page. No offense to them, I don’t think I’ve met any straight up assholes since that one girl from last year, but it’s like the app is purposely recommending the most incompatible people to me– wait, yesterday? And I didn’t hear about this?”
You give him a pointed look, silently conveying that he also didn’t inform you of his date today until ten minutes ago. He gets the message and holds his hands up in defeat, then gestures for you to speak, dimples peeking out as he purses his lips. You sigh, rubbing your temples as you recall the most chaotic two hours of the week, maybe even your life.
“Okay, look… for the record, he was very nice to me, a perfect gentleman, but my god, could that guy talk. He was practically falling at his knees trying to impress me, which would’ve earned him a few points in my book, but his mouth was moving maybe five miles a minute at all times without a moment of rest. It was like watching a child hopped up on sugar, to be honest. He talked for forty whole minutes nonstop about pizza. Don’t even get me started on how passionate he was about his workout routine.”
Your drinks finally come around, and Soobin hands you your frosted glass, which you gratefully take a long sip out of before continuing. “And before you say anything, no, he was nothing like Kai. Also, Kai is literally like my child, and just because I babysat him all those years does not mean I want to date someone like him.”
Soobin parts his lips to respond, then scrunches his nose in distaste as you take the words right of his mouth, opting to down his drink instead. “You’re no fun.”
“But that’s why you love me, right?”
“Sure, noona, sure.”
“That’s it, asshole, you owe me another drink.”
Sunday rolls around, which means you’ve got to start scoping out this week’s dates– you hate leaving anything to the last minute, and you like to leave the end of your week as free as possible (no one is prying your precious rest time from you, not even a beautiful person with the world’s best personality).
Which means you’re mindlessly swiping through a sea of profiles, hoping you find someone that’s at least remotely interesting. You’re prepared for a long night of doom scrolling, but you stop cold in your tracks as you come across a familiar name and face, and a lump forms in your throat.
Choi Soobin.
The algorithm is really fucking with you now. It has to be. You’ve never once even considered your best friend as a potential suitor, not because he isn’t insanely attractive and charming (and funny, and easy to talk to, and…), but because he’s your best friend. You’ve known him for so long, you’ve seen him cry when he couldn’t get the Pokemon card he wanted when he was young enough to need allowance to buy it, and he’s seen you for long enough to know you threw the nastiest toddler tantrums over being denied an ice cream purchase– the point is that you know him a little too well, and you know from experience that that’s not always ideal in romance.
But you have been having terrible luck with your matches for so long, and two hours of Soobin’s undivided attention doesn’t seem so bad, and it would be a good time, at least…
You kick yourself mentally for even thinking of it. He’s your best friend, for god’s sake.
Yet your thumb continues to hover over his profile, quivering as you make the motion to swipe right on him without touching the screen. The guilt and the risk of maybe ruining your friendship forever clearly isn’t enough to stop you from considering him.
The gentle, familiar smile that he’s sporting in his profile picture pierces your heart, and you’re not sure why. Maybe you’ve always had a thing for him unconsciously, maybe you just want someone who actually gets you, maybe you’re just running out of options. Or maybe you’re just tired of chasing after something you know is futile, and you want to take a chance on something, on someone, that might actually be good for you. On someone that you know would be good to you, and for you.
And so, with bated breath, you swipe right.
[Time to Love: Y/N has liked you! Open the app for more details.]
To say Soobin is struck with disbelief would be an understatement. He’s practically gaping at his phone, and he knows you’d be laughing your ass off and making fun of him if you could see him. But it’s precisely that typical flippant attitude of yours that’s got him perplexed about this development.
He’d be lying if he said he’s never once thought of you that way– he’s always thought you were pretty and kind hearted, despite your temper, and you’ve always been there for him, through thick and thin, even when he was being kind of a dick. That definitely counts for something. But he’s never thought about crossing that boundary, because 1) he’s not allowed to pursue anyone he doesn’t match with through the app anyways, and 2) matching with you could make or break your bond forever (he’s leaning towards break, though, because like he said, the watch is bullshit). In short, he’s a fucking coward and a little too cynical for his own good.
But here it is, an opportunity for a date with you, in all its glory, and initiated by you, no less. He should be celebrating, or at least hyped up, because maybe it’ll all work out, maybe this is the solution to all his lukewarm matches over the last few months, but instead he’s downright terrified. There’s absolutely no way that you both come out of this unscathed. There’s no such thing as a perfect forever if it’s decided by a computer. There can’t possibly be a happy ending at the end of this road.
He shakes his head, as if it would clear his head of the panicked thoughts. You’re still his best friend, at the end of the day, he tells himself, and he’s sure that you’ll fight just as hard as he will to keep him in your life. So he holds onto the tiniest sliver of hope that somehow your relationship doesn’t crash and burn spectacularly, opens the app, and swipes right on you.
Congratulations! Your date is scheduled for 3pm, at the Aquarium.
A new notification pops up. Soobin’s heart stirs.
y/n noona: see you tomorrow ♥️
He feels guilty as a wave of excitement washes over him. He shouldn’t be feeling like this. You’re his best friend. His dear noona. He may as well be signing away your friendship for good. But it’d be worse if he didn’t match your enthusiasm.
soob: yup, see you tomorrow noona :]
It’s only 5 minutes past the scheduled meeting time, and already Soobin’s panicking that you’ve changed your mind and cancelled on him, writing this off as a mistake. He’s trying his very best to remain nonchalant, it’s just a date with his best friend, who he might have a sapling of a crush on, no big deal, right? Or maybe it is for the best if you cancel, then he’d have one less crippling fear to worry about.
He’s rethinking his outfit for the umpteenth time– he didn’t want to look like he was trying too hard, not in front of you because you’d probably think it was silly, but he also doesn’t want you thinking he shows up to dates looking like a slob. (For the record, he thinks he’s got a decent sense of fashion. He’s better than Kai, at least, though that isn’t saying much.) He’s internally debating if he should’ve gone with the navy polo shirt instead of the grey cardigan draped over his shoulders, or if he should’ve gone with the black slacks instead of the light wash jeans, but his jumbled thoughts dissipate as you tap on his shoulder, shit-eating grin and all.
“What’s with you, Soob? You look like the fate of the universe depends on you, and you only have 5 minutes to save all of humanity.” You tease, nudging your shoulder against his. Oh, if only you knew what was really weighing on him.
He has half a mind to swat your shoulder, but he’s a little too aware that the two of you are supposed to be on a date, so instead he shoves his hands into his pockets. To his surprise, you’re more dressed up than usual, (he’s used to seeing you exclusively in oversized hoodies) and– wait, you two are practically matching, from the grey cardigan, light wash jeans, all the way down to the white sneakers. The only difference is that you’ve buttoned up your cardigan so that it functions more as a blouse, but you two clearly have definitely mastered the art of accidental couple looks.
“Okay, awkward… one of us has to change.” He teases in an attempt to ease his own racing mind, dimples peeking out as he stifles a laugh. You let out an indignant huff, pushing his massive frame with no success. He doesn’t even budge.
“Not my fault that you’re trying to steal my look. I wore it better, by the way,” You retort, but truth be told, you’re reeling at the sight of him. You’ve only ever seen him in his stuffy work attire and the worn-out, faded shirts he refuses to throw out, and seeing him in a comparably softer, more preppy look is making you see him with new eyes.
You shake your head, as if doing so will reset your perspective to factory settings and make you see him as just your best friend again. (spoiler alert: it doesn’t. Soobin is still handsome and he looks very cute, and you’re still very much affected by it.) “Okay, so. First things first. Should we check our apps? To see if, like, we’re compatible, or I don’t know.” Your voice is stiff, like you’re buffering, and you don’t think you’ve ever been this awkward around Soobin, at least not since the day you met.
Soobin turns up his nose in disagreement and covers his watch screen and yours. “Nah, that’s bullshit. It’s already all decided, isn’t it? It’s been decided from the second we stepped into the aquarium. No point in checking now, we should decide for ourselves if this is something we want to pursue, instead of letting some computer dictate that. When it’s over, it’s over, and we can just go back to being friends, right?”
“Well, I think it’s probably better to know when to give this a rest, instead of constantly wondering if my best friend is set to be my long-term romantic partner, or whatever.” You had a point. But a part of Soobin didn’t feel ready to face the fact that you might not want to see him again like this. A much smaller part of him is still fearful that you two might not be able to turn back from this.
“Okay, okay, fine. We can check it–but not now. If we make it to a third date, then we can check how long we have. But you have to be honest and not touch it whatsoever.” Soobin doesn’t make any move to mention that he isn’t interested in seeing you again, but you don’t want to just assume that he’s into you, so you test the waters.
“Okay, I promise to be honest. But why the third date? Are you really that keen on seeing me?” You’re trying to be teasing, but you feel more desperate than anything.
Soobin doesn’t answer for a moment, and you think that you’ve said the wrong thing. Just as you’re about to apologize, he replies, “If we make it to a third date… then I’ll know whether we’re actually giving this a proper shot and not just for shits and giggles or as an escape from our other failed connections.”
His sincerity both surprises and flatters you, and you can’t tell if you’re supposed to be frozen in shock or hugging him, or a secret third thing, so you just stay still, absently fiddling with your fingers.
When you look up again, Soobin’s holding out his hand, and you look at him with obvious confusion. Rolling his eyes, he takes your hand in his, lips pursed into a thin line. You want to make some clever jab at him, but his hands are warm and soft and they practically swallow up your much smaller ones, and you’re filled with a wash of emotions so intense that you can’t muster up the strength to retort.
Soobin notices that you’re still visibly perplexed, and he mutters. “We’re on a date, you know. We’ve got to act the part.” It’s a half truth at best; he does want to give this date a proper chance, but selfishly, he really just wants to hold your hand for two hours. If you catch onto his white lie, you don’t show it, but he doesn’t miss the rosy hue that colors your cheeks as you nod.
He’s right, you think– it is a date, and you’re the one who swiped on him first, so the least you can do is treat him like a possible suitor and not just your best friend. He deserves that much, at least, and you need to know whether this bundle of butterflies in your stomach is a passing feeling or a dull ache you’ve forgotten about, so you let him lead you into the dimly lit array of fish tanks.
You’re noticing a lot of things about Soobin.
You notice that Soobin’s eyes practically twinkle when he gets excited. It’s never been something you’ve taken note of, but you can’t help but notice it now, every time he points out a species of fish he recognizes. It’s cute. You’re not sure if you’re supposed to find your best friend cute, but you do.
You notice how his comically long fingers slot in between yours, and you’re really starting to like how it feels, though you’d die of embarrassment if you admitted as much.
Not to mention he’s an absolutely perfect gentleman. He’s constantly asking you if you want something to eat, if you’re tired, if you’re cold, and you let him know that you’re fine each time. When you accidentally pull apart your shoelaces, he’s quick to kneel down and tie them up for you. When he stops to grab himself a bottle of juice, he offers one to you, too.
Had Soobin always been this pretty? So cute? And so sweet? How had you never taken notice of him like this all these years? (You know the answer to that, but you’re still surprised at what you’re noticing nonetheless.)
Soobin catches you staring at him while you’re both supposed to be looking at a school of clownfish, and you expect him to make some egotistical joke at your expense, but instead he gives you a warm smile, eyes crinkling into crescents, and god dammit to hell, you melt.
The two hours pass by like nothing, and unlike your past few dates, you’re dreading the end of it, and you wish that the beep signifying it’s over would never come. To your disappointment, he releases your hand as you approach the entrance, and your hand is already missing his warmth. You turn to face him; well, not really, because you can’t bear to make eye contact with him, not when you spent the better part of two hours shamelessly ogling at him.
His voice cuts in between the thoughts rattling around in your head, and he sounds so apprehensive that it worries you. “Can I ask you something? No, wait, can you promise me something?”
You know how seriously Soobin takes his promises, so you’re a little scared for what he’s going to say next, but you nod anyway.
“Promise me that if this doesn’t work out, we’ll still be friends. Please.” The last word is so quiet that you almost miss it, and when you finally muster the courage to meet his gaze, he’s giving you a pleading look so earnestly that it breaks your heart a little.
“I promise– no, I pinky promise. We’ll be friends, no matter what.”
Since he was younger, Soobin’s held the belief that pinky promises are binding, and he knows that you know this, so you hold out your pinky, hoping that this can ease whatever worries he has on his mind.
You pinky promised. Soobin knows that it’s your unspoken way of assuring him (you’ve never been the most verbally affectionate, anyways), a quiet way of letting him know that he means just as much to you as you do to him. He links pinkies with you to seal the promise, feeling just a little bit lighter as you both make your way to the subway station together, shoulders bumping all the while.
Soobin just really, really hopes that you’ll be able to keep that promise.
[How would you rate your date?]
[★★★★★]
Congratulations! Your next date is scheduled for 8pm tonight, at the Night Market.
You shouldn’t be surprised that your next date with Soobin comes so soon– you still have your weekly quotas to meet, and the app always schedules dates within 24 hours of matching or a positive rating, but truth be told, your surprise is solely because you just don’t know how to face him. You two had made that pinky promise to stay friends regardless of the circumstances, but you’d also resolved to treat him like a potential suitor while you two are seeing each other, so where does that leave you?
Well, it leaves you in front of the closet with no idea what to wear. You want to look good (for Soobin, but you’re in denial at the moment), but it’s just a night market, and you know you’ll never hear the end of it if Soobin catches on that you went through lengths just to impress him.
Speaking of the devil, your phone flickers on to reveal a text from him, and you scoff as you scan its contents.
soob: so i hear you enjoyed our date
y/n noona: ignoring that. anyways
y/n noona: what’s the deal for tonight
y/n noona: i need to know asap
soob: aw, noona, do you want to see me again that badly? i’m excited, see you later tonight ♥️
y/n noona: shut up, you clearly want to see me again too. don’t be late or i’m stealing your wallet later
y/n noona: i'm asking what’s the dress code, are we matching again :p
soob: i mean, if you insist… 🙄 i knew you wanted me
y/n noona: nvm you’re getting me in a hoodie and my raggedy sweats with the hole in the knee, fuck you
soob: no no i take it back i’m sorry
y/n noona: ok fine you get spared just this once
y/n noona: [IMG_3687.jpg]
y/n noona: final outfit check. if we’re going to be matching it will be your decision so choose wisely
soob: wait that’s not fair
soob: noona come back
soob: DON’T LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THIS
[y/n noona has “Liked” your message]
soob: you are so mean to me
You let out a sigh of relief you didn’t know you were holding when Soobin arrives, clad in a blue flannel that’s nearly identical to yours, black tee, beige cargos, and a black shoulder bag. You’d been hoping he would follow through, and there’s a small surge of pride at how you’ll be walking around the market, hand in hand, in matching outfits, but there’s something you hadn’t been counting on.
He’s wearing his glasses.
You’ve always known that Soobin doesn’t have the best eyesight (he’s constantly squinting to see things, but so do you), but now that you’re seeing him in a new light, his usual black frames are suddenly the most attractive thing in the world, and you may as well be holding a neon sign that blares “I HEART NERDS” for him to see.
You make a painfully pathetic attempt to mask your delight by waving at him with a grin, and thankfully Soobin doesn’t notice, or if he does, he doesn’t make any show of it, and instead he simply salutes at you with two fingers and cracks a grin. As he sidles up to you, his large hand slips into yours with a little too much ease, fingers immediately interlocking with yours, and it sends your head into a frenzy all over again. As if he’s aware that your mind is going haywire, Soobin leans down towards you, and for a second you think he’s going to kiss you.
You’re frantically trying to make some motion to stop him, it’s so sudden and your cheeks are way too hot now, and he’s way too close, and your damn arms won’t budge–
“I hope you came ready to eat. I came armed with a fuck load of cash because I am going to stuff myself silly with food, and I am not getting turned away by the ‘cash only’ booths.” There’s a fire of determination in Soobin’s eyes, paired with a wide grin, and you don’t know whether to be concerned for him or for yourself, but nonetheless, you’re a little relieved that you completely misread the situation. Before you can say anything in response, though, he’s dragging you towards the sweeping lines of booths, already making a beeline for some takoyaki.
The tray full of octopus balls in Soobin’s hands is steaming and they smell absolutely mouthwatering, and, in true Soobin fashion, he gets over excited and tries to pop the entire thing in his mouth in one go. He immediately regrets it, of course, because immediately he’s whining over the fact that his tongue is now most definitely burnt and numb from the piping hot orb of batter he’d just tried to scarf down. You might be finding him insanely attractive now, but he’s still as clumsy as ever, and you can’t stifle the laughter that bubbles in your throat at the sight.
“Dumbass… you should know damn well that you shouldn’t put a whole takoyaki in your mouth like that.” You tease, snickering as he fans his tongue once he swallows.
“Shut up! I couldn’t help myself!” He lets out a childish huff, stuffing another ball into his mouth with a comically exaggerated pout, and consequently huffing and puffing at the heat that blooms in his mouth once more. The whole display is undeniably adorable, and it takes all of the willpower you have to resist the burning desire to squish his cheeks.
The tray of takoyaki is polished off in no time, and a bowl of bingsu, a cup of fish cake soup, two sticks of tanghulu, a plate of sweet rice cakes, an ice cream cone, and a million other things you lost track of follow suit into the bottomless pit that seems to be Soobin’s stomach. He wasn’t kidding when he said he came ready to eat– he’s plowing through the booths like it’s his last meal on Earth. He’s gracious enough to offer you half of his portions, at least, so it’s not like he’s leaving you to starve. (you’d kill him if he did, though.) Once he’s had his fill, his lips curl up into a mischievous grin as he jabs his thumb in the direction of a different section of the market, one filled with countless games: target shooting, beanbag toss, darts– the row of booths seems to stretch on forever.
“Oh, you’re on, Soob. Don’t think I’m going easy on you because we’re on a date.”
“Yeah? Don’t think I’m going easy on you because you’re older.”
Contrary to both of your words, Soobin is absolutely fucking terrible at the beanbag toss, despite his long arms definitely giving him an advantage, and you’re no good at shooting or throwing and aiming at anything, really, so the two of you leave each booth with empty hands, though you’re laughing as if you’ve hit the jackpot.
Even though you two fail spectacularly at every single game they have available, you’re suddenly aware of how much your cheeks hurt. From smiling. From laughing. When was the last time that happened on a date? Or ever, even?
Soobin ventures off on his own while you’re lost in thought, and he returns from his little solo adventure with yet another serving of tanghulu (the third one of the night: strawberry for him, tangerine for you this time). You’re reaching out to grab the sweet from his outstretched hand, when suddenly you jump as loud popping sounds blare overhead. There’s a beat of silence before a flurry of colorful lights blooms in the sky, and your shoulders relax once you realize it’s just fireworks.
You’re admiring the colors and shapes of the fireworks display as you crunch on your tanghulu, and you’re so enraptured you almost miss the feeling of someone’s gaze on you. Almost.
When you turn to confirm your suspicions, you’re right, it’s Soobin who’s staring at you, but he’s staring at you so intently, with such intensity, that you immediately grow flustered– he’s never looked at you like that before– and you’re immensely thankful that the flashes of light in the sky mask the rosy hue that’s surely staining your cheeks. Just when you’re about to swing your head away to focus your attention on the fireworks once more, his hand flies out to cradle your chin in his palm, keeping your gaze fixated on him.
Then he’s closing the distance, slowly but surely, fixated on you all the while to gauge your reaction, and even though you’re frozen in shock, you don’t think you would’ve moved, anyways. Your eyes flutter shut at the last minute, nerves getting the better of you, until his lips brush against yours tentatively, as if he’s hesitating, holding back.
You meet his gaze once more, and neither of you say a word, you just nod in response to the pleading look in his eyes, as if asking your permission. He breaks out into the most beautiful smile, one that you wish you could snap a mental photo of and tuck away in a safe place in your mind, and then he’s kissing you. Actually kissing you.
He kisses you with such fervor, as if he’s been wanting to do this his whole life, and you can’t help the way you practically melt in his hold, pressing yourself against his broad figure. The fireworks display is all but forgotten, the only thing on either of your minds being the way your lips meld into each other, and the way your hands clasp together.
Soobin’s in a daze when you two finally break away for a much-needed breath, and you’re sure you look like you’re in an equally hazy state. For a moment, you two are dead silent, staring at each other, with only the sound of your soft pants and the popping of fireworks in the background to fill the silence.
Soobin is the one who breaks the silence first, smiling sheepishly as he rubs the nape of his neck. “To be honest, I’ve… I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”
Your eyes are as wide as saucers, and you can feel your jaw go slack in shock. Soobin had been wanting to kiss you. Soobin has thought about kissing you. Your best friend Soobin wanted to kiss you.
“Why didn’t you?” You reply without thinking, but really, you know very well exactly why he’s never done it. He’s your best friend, always has been, and he’d be doing much more than fucking up your friendship by kissing you before you two matched. Naturally, Soobin leaves that question unanswered, posing a question of his own instead.
“What made you match with me?”
“Well…” You don’t know what to say. You don’t want to rattle off a list of qualities that make him desirable– you’re already feeling flustered enough after he kissed you like that, and you’re not looking to inflate his stupid ego or risk being the butt of his teasing. But you want to be honest with him. You don’t want him thinking his suppressed desire has been one-sided all this time.
“I guess I’ve always wondered what it would be like to go on a date with you. We wouldn’t be bored, we would know how to keep each other happy, and understand each other, that kind of thing… and I was a little tired of seeing you go through all those people you didn’t click with, who didn’t get you, especially not the way I did. You know I’ve never liked the people you were seeing, and I was always annoyed by the idiots you dated in high school, and all your stupid matches… I always thought everyone took you for granted, and no one seemed to care about actually getting to know you. I thought I was just looking out for you, caring about you, as your best friend, but maybe I was actually just jealous.”
“Jealous? Really?” He looks so incredulous it embarrasses you that you have to clarify further.
“Yes, jealous… I especially hated what’s-her-name, Hyeji? That one student council girl who dumped you in front of the whole school.”
Soobin grimaces at the mention of her name, and you can’t help the relief you feel at his response. “Ugh, her. Led me on for months because she thought I was cute and then when we started dating she nitpicked every single thing I did, all because I wasn’t the suave drama lead of her dreams and then dumped me because she couldn’t change me. You know she threw away a whole pack of my Pokemon cards because she thought it was ‘too nerdy’?”
“See? This is what I mean. None of your romantic partners actually seem to appreciate you as you are. And so I don’t know, something came over me, and I wanted to see if I could do a good job because I know I appreciate you for who you are and now I’m confused, and I feel like I’ve ruined our friendship forever, and–”
To your relief, Soobin doesn’t laugh– instead he cuts your rambling off with a quick kiss, and it flusters you into silence. “Shh. We promised, remember?”
“I mean, we also promised each other when we were in high school that we’d settle down and raise ten dogs on a farm together.”
Soobin laughs this time. “Yeah, I remember that. But this is a pinky promise, isn’t it? It’s different.”
“You’re right… but it’s scary, you know? Coming to this realization about you, and thinking about you this way, and enjoying it, but also worrying about how we’re going to get out of this after our relationship expires... I don’t want to get too carried away and change our dynamic forever.” You’re chewing the skin off your lower lip nervously (you never did break that habit, so now your lip is bleeding), and, while Soobin’s voice is gentle, you know him well enough to detect the subtle tremor as he speaks.
“I know. But we’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out. I won’t let anything remove you from my life for good. Especially not the watch.” His voice is so low, so quiet, you’d miss it if you weren’t fixated on him, as if he’s trying to convince himself, and you squeeze his hand in what you hope is an admirable attempt at reassuring him. “The app hasn’t told us our connection’s expired yet, so I just really, really want to give this a chance. A proper chance, so I can say I did it before I get matched with my ‘real’ soulmate, or whatever. I don’t want to think about what could have been, especially not with you. I think that’d be worse for us.”
You know exactly what he means. Harboring dormant feelings for your best friend never bodes well, at least not in the movies and the books, so you may as well get this pining out of your system, and let it become a distant memory as soon as possible, if it’s not meant to be. It’s only fair, for both of your futures, and for your friendship. (and though neither of you want to admit it, the thought of not being each other’s soulmates is depressing.)
“Look, Soob… I really want to give this a chance, too. I want to see where it takes us while we’re allowed to. I want to try. It’s scary, it’s fucking terrifying, but you’re my best friend, Soob. I promise you won’t lose me because of some stupid watch. Pinky promise.” You try to keep your voice upbeat as you hold out your pinky towards him, offering a tender smile. He links his pinky with yours, and you can see his frame visibly relax once he does.
You rest your head on his shoulder, pinkies still linked, and silently hope that you’ll be able to uphold your promise to him. You’ve never been any good with breakups. Soobin knows that.
But you’ll be okay with him, right?
He’s your best friend, after all.
[How would you rate your date?]
[★★★★★]
…
Congratulations! Your next date is scheduled for 2pm tomorrow, at the Botanical Gardens.
Soobin decided on his own that he’s picking you up for the third date, and he let you know as much. After last night’s events though, this means that you’re turning your entire closet upside down trying to find the sweet spot for your look today, because your head is jumbled with far too many thoughts, all of them about Soobin. Every outfit you think up is either too dressy, or too casual, or too out there, or too bland, and you have half a mind to reschedule with your mind in the state that it is. Unfortunately for you, Soobin is already on his way, and you’re not the type of asshole to tell him to head back home and forget the whole date, so you just stare at your pile of clothes on the floor, hoping that somehow you’ll be enlightened with the perfect outfit idea and get yourself looking presentable before he comes knocking.
The universe is clearly not on your side, though, because your doorbell rings not even a minute later, and all you’ve picked out is your jeans and you’re still very much topless. You shoot a message to Soobin, thumbs flying frantically as you let him know you’re not quite ready yet– he might be your best friend in the entire world, but you’re not ready for him to see you under your clothes just yet, especially now that you’re properly seeing each other.
You’re still not sure what to wear, but you figure a beige knit sweater should be safe– you won’t look like you’re trying too hard, but you also won’t look like you’re not trying at all. When you swing the door open to finally greet Soobin, your breath quite literally gets taken away, because he trips and almost knocks you over with his lanky frame, but also, he’s breathtaking.
He’s clearly put a lot of thought into his outfit, which is very cute, and he looks absolutely stunning. A sleek black cardigan with white striped accents on the sleeve, a white dress shirt that clearly looks freshly pressed– hell, he’s even wearing a tie– and those godforsaken glasses that have you in a chokehold somehow. You don’t even bother hiding your delight– he’s so beautiful, and you know he needs a little validation after he probably spent hours putting his look together.
He catches you staring wordlessly, and he flushes with embarrassment.“What? Too much? I knew I should have skipped on the tie–” He grumbles, making a move to loosen it, but he’s stopped by your hand over his.
“No. You look great, Soob. Seriously.” You’re not used to being verbally affectionate, especially not with him, but when he looks that sad, like a kicked puppy, you know better than to tease him when he’s unsure of himself. Despite that, you’re still shy as you reassure him. “You look beautiful.”
The way he brightens when he hears your words is almost cartoonish, and this time, you can’t hold back your laughter, which earns a pout from him, which in turn only fuels your laughter further. You appease him by lacing your fingers with his (he’s apparently a lot easier to please than you remember, but maybe that’s your imagination), and he responds by placing a kiss to the back of your hand. The gesture is tender and sweet, and you think about what it’d be like to have Soobin do that to you every day.
“Well, shall we?” He bows exaggeratedly with his free arm, giving you a blinding smile.
You mirror his smile, and playfully curtsy in return. “We shall.”
When you two arrive at the botanical gardens, it’s jam-packed with people (a worker explains that their tulips are in full bloom, so everyone’s vying for their social media moment), and Soobin is visibly startled, though he recovers quickly as he turns to you.
“You okay? There’s so many people... I think this is twice, maybe even thrice as many people as there were at the night market.” You don’t do well with crowds, the crowd at the night market was probably the most you could handle, but you know that you don’t have a choice– you have to follow through with the date as scheduled, or risk a fine that neither of you can afford, so you just nod, your grip on his hand tightening.
Soobin somehow finds a slightly less crowded area of the tulip fields for you two to stroll in after doing a quick sweep (thank god for his height, and that he uses it to his advantage), but you still feel tense as you walk hand in hand. There’s still a decent amount of people, with more spilling in excitedly, phone cameras in hand, and you have a bad feeling the crowd will only grow in size as the day drags on. You just hope you’re as convincing an actress as you think you are, and that Soobin won’t notice as he reads the identification cards for each flower.
You’re caught off guard when he gently pushes you down onto a nearby bench, and crouches in front of you, clasping your other hand in his so that both of them are occupied. The concerned expression on his face tells you that you’re nowhere near an Oscar for your performance, and that he’s most definitely caught on to your discomfort. Normally you’d be embarrassed at the display– you hate making a scene in public, but your anxiety is getting the better of you, and it’s nice to know that he still knows you as well as you thought.
“Noona… look. I know you don’t like crowds, especially excitable and hectic ones like these. If you really, really feel like this is too much for you, we can cancel the date and go home. I want you to have a good time, and I know it’s hard for you when there’s so many people.”
You’re chewing at your lower lip again, and Soobin lets go of one of your hands to thumb at your lip to stop you before you tear it open with your teeth. “But Soob, we came all this way. And you dressed so nicely for me, for this date, and I spent all this time wanting to look good for you, and spend time with you…” You trail off when your breath catches in your throat, your chin trembling as your eyes well up. “It’d be such a waste to cancel after all our time and effort.”
Once again Soobin’s thumb is gently swiping over your cheeks when the tears finally spill over, hushing you with the soft sincerity that he’s prone to when he’s not teasing you.
“Hey, hey… we can reschedule for another day, can’t we? We don’t have to do this, noona. There’s always next time. It won’t be a waste, I promise.” You feel so apologetic you could die. Soobin’s being so patient and sweet and understanding with you and here you are, kicking up a fuss. The least you could do is power through and follow through with your scheduled date, and you’d hate to miss out on this time with him that you’ve been looking forward to. You were excited for this date, and you want him to know that.
“I think I’d feel worse if we cancelled after we went through all this trouble, and especially if it was all because of me… just give me a moment to calm myself down.” Soobin nods in response, cradling your cheek in his palm, and you sigh appreciatively at the tender gesture. He doesn’t say anything as you wipe away the remnants of your tears and blow your nose– he just holds your hand, letting you gather yourself, and you think for a moment that this must be the benefit of falling for your best friend.
Once the tears have finally subsided, and you’ve had a moment to calm your nerves, you meet Soobin’s eyes, which are searching yours, as if scanning for any lingering signs of discomfort. When he can’t find any, and you give him a reassuring look and a grateful smile, he seizes the opportunity to steal a peck from your lips, grinning cheekily with his tongue between his teeth when he pulls away.
“H-hey! What was that for?!” Your shock and surprise is real, but your indignance certainly isn’t, if your rosy cheeks are any indication. Your discomfort is forgotten, at least temporarily, so you’re glad for that.
“Oh… just because. You liked it, though.” He’s so smug, that stupid asshole, but he’s right, so you pull him in for another quick kiss before you try to make a run for it. Unfortunately for your escape plan, you’ve forgotten that your hand is still very much interlocked with his, and he’s significantly stronger than you, so he easily pulls you back into his embrace. You can’t say you mind, though– he’s warm and he smells good, like jasmine and sandalwood and the faint scent of vanilla, and if you weren’t already so flustered you’d bury your face in his broad chest.
“Feeling better now?” The words fall from Soobin’s lips with a teasing lilt, but you know it’s his way of genuinely checking in on you, so you answer sincerely.
“Much better. Though I’d still like to avoid the crowds and find somewhere else to have our date… if you don’t mind? The tulips are pretty, and as much as I would like to admire them too, there’s just so many people fighting for a good photo…”
“Of course, I get it. I saw a sign pointing to a field of azaleas over there that is probably getting a lot less foot traffic than the tulips, so we could head over there?” He gestures in the opposite direction of the tulip field, and you’re more than happy to oblige, letting him tug you along.
Thankfully Soobin’s guess is correct, because there’s only a handful of people at the azalea field when you two arrive, and the tension in your shoulders finally lets up. The dainty red and pink flowers have their own quaint charm, and they’re vibrant and eye-catching. You crouch down to get a closer look, taking hold of a delicate petal in between the pads of your fingers to admire them.
“Did you know red and pink azaleas represent love and romance? Roses aren’t the only flower of love like everyone seems to think.” Soobin’s deep voice rings in your ear and you startle a little, partially because he’s way closer to you than you expected (it’s going to be a while before you get used to maintaining close proximity with him) and partially because you had no idea Soobin was just casually carrying the knowledge of flower meanings in that pretty head of his.
“They’re so pretty… they’d make a much more unique gift than roses for special occasions, too. Not that there’s anything wrong with roses, but they’re kind of done to death, don’t you think?”
Instead of answering, Soobin looks both ways, then plucks a flower, and you hiss in disapproval at him. “Hey–! What are you doing? The sign says that we can’t pick the flowers!” Luckily, none of the staff has taken notice of his mischievous little act, but even if they did, you can’t help but wonder if they’d even care, when he could charm his way into anything.
Soobin tucks the flower behind your ear, seemingly ignoring your disapproval as he hums a tune under his breath. “A gift for our special occasion, and a little commemoration of our budding romance, or something. And look, noona, you’re so pretty. Just like a flower.” He punctuates his statement with the sound of his phone camera flashing, followed by four more, until you’re blushing profusely with embarrassment.
“Soobin, that’s enough–” Your cheeks are beet red– you can feel it from the sheer amount of blood running into them– and though you really like that Soobin’s taking pictures of you for him to keep, you’re extremely camera shy, and he knows that, which is probably why he’s so insistent.
“Actually, the issue is that I didn’t take enough. Now smile for the camera!” You have to practically wrestle your way away from the camera, but not before he snaps a few more of you smiling bashfully at him. He catches up to you with ease (damn those long legs of his), arms secure around your frame as you squeal, though you’re secretly pleased that you’re in his hold.
The time once again ticks by like nothing as you walk side by side, admiring the blooms around you and snapping photos of each other (“For wallpaper usage purposes,” Soobin says, and you blush again), and before you know it, your watches are beeping to signify that your two hours are up. Soobin sobers up almost immediately, expression unreadable, and though he doesn’t say anything as he takes your hand, you know what’s on his mind, because the same thing is on yours.
There’s a palpable tension hanging in the air once the two of you reach the entrance of the gardens– it’s the third date, after all, and you promised you’d find out your expiration date if you made it this far. You’re relieved that your watches haven’t blared just yet, signifying the end of your connection, but you’re still struck with the nervousness of finding out how long you’ll last. You think you’ll never get over it if you only get a few months– or worse, a few days with him– after all this secret pining and yearning.
If you didn’t know any better, you’d think Soobin was somehow eerily calm about the whole thing. But you do know better, and you know that he’s just trying to put on a brave face for you, and for himself. The two of you open Time to Love in silence, hands still interlocked, swiping to the ‘Love Countdown’ tab with your free hands, and brace yourselves. Soobin gives you a reassuring nod, and you respond back with what you hope is an equally reassuring smile, and that your expression doesn’t betray the fear bubbling deep within you.
Soobin takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. “Okay, on the count of three,”
“One…” “Two…”
“Three!”
When both of you tap the in-app tab, there isn’t an array of numbers indicating an expiration date with a ticking countdown, as you expected and had grown accustomed to on your previous dates– in fact, there isn’t a single number on the screen– and instead there’s an infinity sign.
You two don’t have an expiration date.
You and Soobin look at each other, then at your watches, then at each other again.
“Wait, we don’t have an expiration date–”
Then the realization dawns on both of you, and it hits you like a truck.
“Wait, we’re soulmates?!”
Both of you are sporting the same bewildered expression, and you both go to check your progress bars, just to be sure– they’re full, just as you’d expect after being matched with your soulmate. So that’s why your watch alarms haven’t gone off. You two were the one in a million. Once the shock finally wears off, it’s replaced with pure, unbridled joy, and when Soobin sweeps you off your feet to gather you in his arms, there’s an emotion bubbling in you that’s equal parts unfamiliar and yet welcome.
You’d thought all this time, all these years, that there was no way you should feel this way about your best friend, of all people. That you shouldn’t fuck this up, because Soobin has always been there for you, and you’ve always been there for him. As his friend. As your friend.
But here is the universe, telling you that you’re fated to love him, and that he’s fated to love you in return.
And love him you do. You love Soobin. And when you look at him, and see the way he’s looking at you, with fondness practically dripping from his gaze, you know he loves you too.
Maybe the watch really is bullshit. Maybe it is statistically impossible to decide someone’s life partner based on an algorithm.
But maybe it’s onto something, because it seems silly to have ever thought of being with anyone except Soobin. You never would’ve thought to look for your forever right next to you, and yet, here he is, in the flesh. Was it a coincidence that he made it onto your recommended matches that fateful night? Was it a coincidence that he felt the same way you did?
Soobin’s lips capture yours in a searing kiss, and you melt in his heat, kissing him back with a fierce fervor, as if desperately communicating the depth of the feelings you’ve let build up silently after all these years. You decide that there’s no such thing as coincidences– he’s always known what’s best for you, and you’ve always wanted what’s best for him. You just didn’t know that the answer to both of those things was each other.
“I love you, noona.” He whispers with a bashful, dimpled smile, and your heart swells.
“I love you too, Soob.”
Soobin has always been counting down to something.
To the end of another grueling workday, the next League of Legends patch update, to anything, so he always has something to look forward to. But he’s never looked forward to this.
The love countdown has always been something he despised and dreaded– he’s always wanted to be the master of his own fate, without the shackles of the app tying him down with each new connection. He’d always thought that his soulmate would be some poorly matched individual who he’d have a mediocre life with, but all that seems to be proven wrong as he looks at you.
He hates being wrong. But when he sees the way you smile, the way you regard him with the utmost love and affection in your gaze, the way you hold his hand as if you’ll lose him if you let go– he thinks he’s willing to concede defeat, at least this time.
Maybe that stupid watch does know a thing or two about love. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe this is all just pure coincidence. But despite it all, Soobin is thankful that this is where he ends up. That both of you had been counting down all this time to each other.
Because if there's anyone he can count on in this world, it's you.
higher than heaven ᯓ 𝚌𝚜𝚋
SFW version of my fic posted here on @heechwe .ᐟ
୨୧ pairing: choi soobin x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 10.3k ୨୧ genre: fluff, angst ୨୧ tags: guardian angel!soobin, human!reader, mutual pining ୨୧ synopsis: Soobin, your devoted guardian angel, has one singular purpose in his ethereal existence: to bring your heart's deepest desires to life. Unbeknownst to him, his mere presence fulfills that desire. Yet, the lingering question remains— how can he effectively transform your most intimate dreams into reality? ♬ playlist: iris | nightly, dizzy | yueku, unbreakable | jamie scott, monsters | joan, feel every bit | the ivy, infinitely falling | fly by midnight, kiss my scars | august royals, next to me | peter fenn, hideaway | jacob collier, salvation | gabrielle aplin, magic island | tomorrow x together ⟢ AUTHOR'S NOTE: First fic of 2025! I’d like to thank @lovetaroandtaemin, @chugging-antiseptic-dye, @ylangelegy, @gyubakeries, and @xomakara for beta-reading this fic for me, I know it was a quick journey and I appreciate every one of you who followed the story from the beginning to the end 🤍.
The time fills as plastic shot glasses and empty solo cups discarded into trash bags. Some stragglers of the party lay on the couch or floor, but you pass by them with ease. You sigh before Beomgyu stops you with a sharp tug. "Dude, you don't have to help me. You're supposed to be one of my guests!"
"I'm just avoiding the inevitable tomorrow. And if you come into the shelter late because you procrastinated cleaning your own apartment, I may just kill you."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it, boss.” He rolls his eyes and unfurls the empty bag you had between your hands moments before. You giggle in earnest.
“If I get a single text, Gyu–”
“Why don’t you enjoy the early morning hours of New Year's and get out of here?" He shoves you towards the door of his apartment with an "I love you” to follow you out, determined to do what you swear he won't without your help.
Beomgyu may be your childhood friend, but habits hold on tight with him. It’s clear from the three years he’s worked at your animal shelter. Your parents always said he has good intentions, although he’s brash in decision-making. "The kid just asks for forgiveness more than permission most of the time," your dad would joke, and Beomgyu wouldn’t disagree.
Your parents’ words replay in your head on the walk home. You hear every piece of parental advice with each step on the cobblestones, the clack or your heels accompanying every word. It's customary on New Years to feel the ache of their absence so strongly. Your thoughts of them are as vivid as the pain of their loss. It seems to haunt you more with every year that passes.
One day, you had been tagging new intakes and cleaning food bowls like normal. The next you were receiving the call that your parents had been in a fatal car accident. Every space they inhabited, including the shelter, felt colder, quieter, a little less like home. Even your own house twenty minutes from your job barely felt like your own.
Five years of grief made the pain manageable, but on nights like tonight, it doesn’t feel like you’ve made much progress..
The cold of January accompanies the repetitive emotional and mental cycle you're on. The weather bites with a hard set of teeth, almost more brutal than the traces of sadness you feel in your heart.
You don’t realize amid the somber trek home how close the surrounding shadows are, one of a stranger within an arm’s distance.
Your animals greet you at your door with perky barks and whooshing tails. Mina and Minho, your two tabby cats, seem to be delighted that you’re back, but save the ecstatic greetings for their canine siblings. Key, your senior chihuahua, does what he can energy-wise compared to Bori, your labrador mix.
“Bobo, please,” you beg as she jumps up on you when you kneel at her eye-level. It’s all a mess of slobbering tongue and eager pants with her. Once she’s done, you rub Key between the ears to give him some affection.
Even your hedgehog, Rio, taps against the glass of his enclosure to say hello to you. It’s almost like every pair of animal eyes asks you how the party went and why you left them alone for so long.
You can’t supply them with an answer, because you notice the person-shaped figure at your kitchen counter, silent and clouded in darkness. The sight makes you release a decibel-breaking scream.
You grab an umbrella from the iron wrack near your door and charge to the kitchen, expecting Key and Bori to follow you and bark aggressively at the intruder. They don’t, but they do pad behind you in curiosity at your strange actions.
They barely react at all when you turn on the light in the small kitchen. The new illumination reveals the black-haired stranger dressed in white. He says nothing, but holds a smile of mirth on his face at your line of defense. He's neither scrawny nor muscular, but towers over you to a surreal degree.
You think you can take him if you have the element of surprise, but with the alcohol still buzzing through your veins, you may lack complete hand-eye coordination. It’s anyone’s guess.
“What do you want? If you’re looking for money, you got the wrong house, buddy.” You say with a steady voice, aiming the sharpest point of the umbrella in his direction.
He smiles wide, pearly teeth and a set of dimples almost blinding you. “I’m Soobin.”
His lack of an answer and warm smile throw you off. It’s definitely not the reaction anyone expects from a burglar. Maybe the guy's intoxication is even greater than yours, enabling him to enter someone's home without permission. No matter the reasons, you don’t release your hold on the umbrella. You stare him down hard despite your shaking hands.
“Well…Soobin…I don’t know what you want, but you’re not gonna find it here.”
“I’m in the exact place I need to be.” He says your name with the same level of warmth that remains in his smile, but your blood runs cold at the fact he is aware of who you are. Was he stalking you? Had he stopped by the animal shelter while you were too busy to make a mental note of him? “Put down the umbrella and we–”
“Get the fuck out of my house, you creep!” You raise the umbrella as high as you can before it falls on his head, shoulders, or any location on his body that will stun him. He knows it’s coming, though.
Soobin somehow materializes right in front of you before you can step forward, taking your wrists gently in one hand to stop you. “There’s no need for that. I’m not here to harm you.”
You struggle in his hold, trying your hardest to release yourself from his grip with all of your might. Then, you freeze, unsure of how both his speed and his lack of alarm to your furry animals makes any logical sense.
Soobin senses your lack of effort to go through with your attack and lets go of you, taking a small breath of air. “Will you drop the umbrella?”
“Once you tell me what you are,” you whisper. “My dogs would have ripped off your ankles by now, but they didn’t. Why?”
Soobin chuckles, but you feel anything but humorous. “The why to that question is a bit hard to explain. But I can tell you why I’m here.” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly bashful. “Let’s just say I have a mission to complete.”
Soobin sits at one end of the couch, hands in his lap, while you sit on the other. Your dogs lay at the edge of the couch, snoring peacefully now that the chaos is over. Your knees sit tight against your chest, still guarding yourself from him or any potential advances he may make.
You may not think he wants to kill or rob you anymore, but that doesn’t mean you’re immediately trusting of the stranger. One that is no doubt breathtaking, but still hiding his intentions.
You size him up, still unsure how or why the guy is familiar with you when you’ve never seen him before. He can barely provide you with an adequate answer for the questions that pop into your head.
Where are you from? How do you know me? Have we ever met before?
He chuckles at each one, continuing on with the same reflexive response. “Proprietary information.”
You roll your eyes. “Every time you say that, you sound like some kind of spy.” You move closer to his spot on the couch, looking at him with more intensity than before.
The analysis makes him laugh even more, his cheeks turning pink. “I’m not an alien, if that was your second guess.”
“That’s not what I was thinking!”
He quirks an eyebrow at you. “You look like you’re about to cut me open with a scalpel.”
Your lips transform into a firm line. “Should I want to, Soobin? Maybe you’re saying you’re not an alien to throw me off.”
“Trust me, I am not an extraterrestrial. Not cool enough.”
You can’t help but laugh at the ridiculous situation you find yourself in, matching the smile on Soobin’s face with your own. An hour ago, you were about to kill him in self-defense for what you assumed was a classic break-in scenario. Now, you’re laughing with your would-be victim. This has to be the most peculiar first day of the year you’ve ever had.
He claps his hands softly on his white denim jeans. “We should call it a night. You’re probably tired. I can explain more tomorrow, if you’d like.”
You look around your house, unsure where Soobin is planning to stay for the next few hours. The one-bed-and-bath cottage is anything but roomy, most of your space taken up by work supplies or your animals’ stuff.
He senses your trepidation and grins. “Don’t worry, I can come back in the morning.”
You suck in a breath. Most of you feels relief, but there’s a small inkling of sadness that pervades your emotions. You barely know Soobin, but his presence provides a warmth that your home has been missing.
It has to be the last traces of alcohol and the simmering grief still in your system.
“Okay. I have work in the morning, but–”
“I’ll be here before you have to leave,” Soobin cuts you off. He holds his hand out in a goodbye, and you take it. His soft palm meets yours and heats your skin, and you have to cut the parting short to not feel any more flustered.
“See you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight, love.” He leaves you with one more grin before he exits, confusing you further.
The touch of his fingertips on you follows you into sleep, his skin the last coherent sensation you have before it all goes black.
There is a murky quality to the dream you find yourself in. You’re surrounded by grey, the color’s opacity fading only partly as the details become clearer.
The room around you looks more like a cavern than a traditional room. It’s made of stone, cavelike and primitive. The entrance to the area is too vast for a normal door. It’s almost as if you could step out and fall into nothing but clouds. The world outside is a mixture of inky blacks and dark blues, signifying nighttime outside the four rocky walls.
You look back to the inside of the space. It holds a desk covered with paperwork and photographs. You’re alone, standing in the center of it all, but too far away from the papers on the table to see any information.
Before you can step closer, Soobin enters with a blonde man hot on his heels. They both walk right through you, seemingly not noticing your presence at all as they continue their discussion.
They emit their own light somehow, the room nowhere near as dark as when you were alone inside of it.
“If you fail at this, Yeonjun will demote you and have no qualms about doing it.” The blonde man ruffles his hair in frustration, and inches closer to Soobin. They clearly have a close relationship, from the concern on the stranger’s face to the hand that he rests on Soobin's shoulder. “You’ve worked too hard to lose everything, Soobin.”
“I know, Hyuka,” Soobin says in a somber tone, sorting through the papers on his desk. “But she needs me now more than ever. And I know I can help. And if I succeed, I can actually—“
“I get it. We’re just not supposed to get involved unless we’re certain about it. You know this.”
Soobin sighs. “You didn’t see her, Kai. I have to.”
The man named Kai exhales a deep breath and walks away, his pleas seeming to hit a brick wall. The last thing he says, “I hope you know what you’re risking,” barely makes it to your ears. All you notice before Kai’s departure is the unfurling of wings from his back, the white and gray feathers spouting from the tendons just below his shoulders.
You scream when he drops from the entrance, his wings carrying him away. You don’t care if the sound alerts either of the two men, not after witnessing such an unrealistic moment.
You scream again when you hear the unfurling of Soobin’s wings, the sound almost whipping you onto your back from the gust his wings emit. They’re dark grey, larger than Kai’s are. They create such long-casting shadows that you have no question now what Soobin is or where he comes from.
The word replays in your mind as the surrounding scene dematerializes and you wake up with a rapid heartbeat: an angel.
Soobin waits at your door in the same white button-up and jeans he had on the night prior. You welcome him inside, and he looks more ethereal somehow in daylight.
The dream hits you again with its full force, the image of his grey wings flashing across your memory.
“So, you’re an angel,” You say, filling the space between you both with a new tension. The anxiety only permeates from you; Soobin exudes an air of calm instead, despite your accusation.
He almost ticks his head down in a nod as he responds with the words, “Proprietary information.”
You nod your head and gulp hard. Somehow, the aura around you and the subtext in his expression tells you what you know to be true.
He showed you all you needed to know last night through your dreams, a miraculous loophole to the restrictions placed upon him.
When you’re finally ready to go to work, the morning chores around the house finished before Soobin even made it to your doorstep, you look over at the man in front of you again with trepidation. The white attire may lead to a multitude of questions that you and Soobin cannot answer.
“What? Is there something on my face?” Soobin asks, confused.
You laugh and shake your head, any residual tension from your realization broken. “You look a bit too…uniform for the shelter.”
“Oh! Well…” He blushes, unsure how to respond.
An idea pops into your head when his words come up short. “I may have some old stuff that’ll fit you.”
“Why is the rando wearing your dad’s windbreaker?” Beomgyu asks while cleaning Jin, the newest adoptee at the shelter. His eyes peer over at Soobin filling some food bowls with kibble. Soobin’s presence fills the space the same way it did in your house.
He wears your dad’s long-sleeve shirt, windbreaker, and khaki pants well. Despite his freakishly tall height, the clothes don’t look small on him, and you’re relieved he’s able to fit in like any normal guy with the change in wardrobe.
You scoff, continuing to fill out the documents for Jin’s tag and vaccinations without looking up at your friend. “Soobin’s new in town and lost everything on the plane ride here. He just needed to borrow some stuff until his luggage gets delivered.”
Beomgyu nods, still concerned. He goes back to scrubbing Jin’s coat with the anti-tick shampoo, and you leave his spot at the cleaning station to stand beside Soobin.
“You do this every day? These bags are heavy, even for me.” Soobin grunts and clips the bag closed.
“I usually make Gyu or another volunteer do it. But you saved me the trouble of asking.” You smirk and take two of the bowls in your hands. “Want to help me feed the dogs?”
Soobin’s eyes light up, and he nods. You wonder as you walk to the cages if he’s ever interacted with animals before he left his home in the skies.
Since you were a kid, the shelter has always been a part of your daily regimen. Once college was out of the way, you had a stable job waiting for you to practice your veterinary degree on. While some could only handle so many cat scratches, dog poops, and absurd origin stories, it made every day worth it in your eyes. And the fact that you had a history with tending to furry friends with your parents only made it more worthwhile to continue doing.
The second you open the cages to let the dogs eat, you recognize how natural Soobin is at the job. He talks to them in a childlike voice and rubs their bellies as they munch on kibble and necessary medicines you give in between feeding. Even the dogs with the rougher backgrounds take to Soobin like a bee to honey, the warmth he naturally exudes relaxing them.
He truly is an angel, you realize, and not just in the literal sense.
You lock up the shelter for the day with a lot less weight on your shoulders thanks to Soobin. “I might as well give you the keys to this place. It suits you well,” you joke.
Soobin tucks his hands into his windbreaker, smiling hard. “It just came easy, I guess. Animals aren’t like people. They don’t have to hide behind words. It’s all about energy.”
You look at him as you walk away from the building together, your face softened from his words. “My mom always used to say stuff like that. To her, animals were the bestest friends you could ever ask for. She’d say it’s like they see into your soul.”
Soobin grins. “She seems lovely.”
You swallow hard, balling your hands into fists inside your jacket. It’s not anger that permeates your body now, not the way it used to. All that exists is the reality that their words are simply memories. “She was. My dad too. That place was their second home.” You wave your arm in the direction of the shelter. The building diminishes from view as you round the corner to head home. “And mine, too.”
“Did you envision this being your life?” Soobin asks, the question taking you by surprise. “I don’t mean to pry.”
“No, it’s okay!” You laugh. “I mean—I love working with the animals every day, and I have great friends. It just can be very routine sometimes, like there’s this gap that I can’t fill.” You hold back the more intimate details of your desires to Soobin, still guarded and uncertain of being so vulnerable so soon.
He steps closer, the walk becoming more intimate with his shoulder almost brushing yours. “You’ve been alone for quite a while. It’s understandable to want to share your life with someone.”
You blush hard, a mixture of the January cold and his correct assumptions building a steady heat on your cheeks. “That’s what most people want, I guess.”
Eyes widening, you realize now why Soobin may be discussing these things with you. Could his super secret mission, which he discussed the night you met, relate to right now?
“No fucking way,” you whisper to yourself, stopping on the stone street. Soobin only gets a few paces farther than you before he stops.
“Is there something wrong?” He asks, his eyebrows drawn up and his mouth in a small O that you would normally giggle at.
Now, you have no time for humor.
“Did you come here because of the stupid wish I made on New Year’s Eve?”
“Taehyun, if you give me another shot, I will throw up!” You exclaim in a fit of giggles, three drinks already in your system over the last hour and a half. His girlfriend, Kazuha, stands by your side as she downs the shot in her hand, her mouth puckering as she swallows it down. “Zu, I thought you were the DD tonight!”
“Fuck it, I’ll call an Uber.” She winks and chases the shot with a sip of beer. Beomgyu wades through the throng of people in his living room to join all of you in the kitchen.
“Taking shots without me? That’s a party foul.”
“Whatever, man. It’s not like we can’t make more.” Taehyun passes him one filled with tequila to catch up, and Beomgyu downs it in the next second. By the time the buzz of the drinks hits your head, Jungwon barrels into the kitchen with his own girlfriend Yeri to tell you all that the ball is dropping.
Everyone crowds around the television to watch the remaining minute of the year play out. The strangers around you scream out the last seconds, others speak in a drunken lilt.
You turn to your friends, somehow the only person without someone attached to their hip. Beomgyu is holding a random girl's shoulder, while your other friends stand closely together in their respective couples, watching the countdown..
“Four, three, two, one! Happy New Year!” Beomgyu says the words into his date’s neck before kissing her roughly on the lips. Your other friends have their own celebratory make-out sessions. You feel like an intruder as they all enjoy the moment in their respective couples.
You’ve never been a grouch about your single status, not once. But it felt like a part of you was missing out with little of a choice in the matter. Whether by the confines of chance or love simply not being meant for you for the past twenty-seven years, you can only be comfortable for so long before the pain of solitude drains you dry.
Was it so awful to want to find someone to share funny videos with? To talk to about days at the shelter when a cute animal comes in and needs a loving home? When days are heavy on your heart and you need the one you love the most to lift you up and make it all evaporate with a simple “I love you”? To make every struggle and hardship, no matter how big or small, worth it?
And so, with only a drunken mind and heart to listen to your deepest whims, you wish for what seems the most out of reach as your eyes line with tears: a soulmate to bridge the gap between your loneliness and true fulfillment.
When the reality of why Soobin’s here hits you, you can’t help but release one of the loudest laughs you’ve ever emitted before.
“You have to be fucking kidding me,” you say with exasperated breaths, all the air in your lungs saved mostly for your laughter. “You came all the way from up there to play matchmaker?”
Soobin chuckles to himself, the sounds that leave his lips a lot quieter than yours. “You make it sound so childish.”
“Can you blame me?” You ask. “I don’t need help in that department!”
Soobin gives you a knowing look, hitting you somewhere deep in the chest. “Then I wouldn’t be here, would I?”
“Okay, don’t speak in riddles to me!”
“I’m just stating facts, love.”
You roll your eyes, and Soobin laughs again. “So you’re magically going to find me the perfect partner after only knowing me for 48 hours?”
“I’ve known you for much longer than that.” He steps even closer to you, your fingers brushing his as he stands a few inches from you. “But again, it’s—“
“Proprietary information, I get it,” you whisper. You cough into your fist and glide past him, the moment broken. “Either way, I am just fine with or without a boyfriend, Soobin.”
He follows behind without a word, but you sense his smile without looking at him. Jerk.
Soobin has helped many people in his immortal life. It’s an existence he couldn’t fill in just one book. He’d have to go back centuries to the very moment he started his work as a guardian. His life began long before that, but his true merits came when he started helping those who needed supernatural guidance.
He’s seen from his eagle’s eye view many heartbreaks, losses, successes, and love stories, but nothing as encapsulating as the story of your life.
You were a vision to see the first time you held an animal in your hands, hands tepid but heart full from the creature giving all of its affection to you for you to reciprocate wholeheartedly. He was in awe of you when you stepped across the stage with your degree, eager to put all the knowledge you gained about medicine to a good use. And his ever-still heart ached with yours the second you got that phone call in November five years ago, wanting nothing more than to catch you before your knees hit the tile below.
You’re the one assignment he’s kept too close an eye on, the others in his caseload not holding his focus so strongly. He succumbed to forbidden desires, wishes he knew were unattainable.
But the second he felt your heart break on the one night he knew he could seize the chance to step over the border between Heaven and Earth, he chose the only option that felt right: he had to leave home and heal what needed to be mended inside of you a long time ago.
He watches you help the teenage girl adopting her first pet with immense adoration.
You check off the supplies needed for Jin and all the vaccines the dog will need moving forward with clinical focus. It’s admirable how dedicated you are to your work, not caring if it went beyond the bounds of a traditional work-life balance.
And when you wave the teenager and her parents out the door and turn to him with a signature eye-roll, he can’t stop the way his skin heats. Your gaze in his direction screams: How long are you going to keep pestering me?
Forever, he says to himself with a hell of a lot of hope.
When you’re both alone in the shelter, one hour after you’re closed for the day, you sweep the floors in a huff. “I am telling you I do not need you to play matchmaker for me.”
“You keep saying that and yet I’m still here, love,” Soobin tuts, flipping through the magazine on top of your desk. He sits at the chair opposite from the receptionist counter so casually, feet crossed and casual despite his heart yearning to explain everything to you.
I’m here because I can’t take any more of your pain. Because someone deserves to know how special you are. Because I—
“I can find a date without your help. Beomgyu already took up that role a long time ago. He’s been pestering me about going out with his friend Heeseung for months. So there.” You stick your tongue out at him and continue sweeping.
Soobin chuckles to himself and flips to another page of the magazine, but he can’t deny how his focus remains on you, the center of his attention, for longer than he expected.
“Lee Heeseung, twenty-two. Works at the ramen shop downtown. Entirely incompatible with you. Just for your information.”
You stop sweeping and aim an accusatory eye at him. “And that’s not proprietary information how?”
“I’m not looking out for him. And that only took a couple of Google searches to figure out, love.”
By the time you lock up the store, Soobin is in the habit of checking the door behind you to make sure you didn’t miss the back door or forget to close the play-gate on the way out. Two weeks of observing your routine up close has given him incredible intel, and not just into your schedule.
“Let’s walk past downtown,” Soobin suggests, taking your hand and walking through a new pattern of alleyways and cobblestone paths.
You’re unsure why this route that adds another ten minutes to your walk is worth the trouble, but you take his advice, anyway. He’s your angel for a reason, after all.
“Soobin, unless you suddenly got a hankering for human food, we really should—“
You knock into someone’s shoulders hard; the impact sends you to the gravel. Soobin vanishes from view, his name on your tongue the second you recognize that you’re on the ground.
A pair of hands that aren’t Soobin’s, more calloused and robust, lift you up off the ground.
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have been standing so close to the alleyway.”
A beautiful pair of brown eyes gaze at yours, and it stops you dead in your tracks. The stranger’s brown hair falls over his face in a mess of free curls, some of them tinged with sweat. He wears a baking apron around his waist; flour and, you presume, icing cover his shirt.
You look at the building next to you, the pastel pink sign reading “Gyu’s Baked Goods” beaming over your head. And you turn back to the man in question, the baker himself as his hands keep you sturdy on your scraped feet.
“It’s totally fine. I’m the one who should be sorry. I mean, I wasn’t looking anyway and I—“
“No, you don’t have to apologize. This is what I get for taking a smoke break when I have cupcakes to make, right?” The baker chuckles and releases you. Your heart thumps at a rapid tempo when he holds his hand out to you. “I’m Mingyu. Sorry I’m built like a mountain.”
You chuckle and take his hand, the handshake gentle for the size of his palm. It reminds you of a sturdy fireplace, strong but tender. “Pleased to meet you. Apologies for having the build of a leaf.”
Soobin looks on with a knot in his stomach from an opposite alleyway. The process has begun, and he cannot halt its progress. No matter if he wants to be the one in the human male’s place.
Soobin watches on as Mingyu stands with you by the kennels, acid simmering on his tongue from watching the two of you in such a chummy position.
He clutches the novel in his hands with intense pressure, on the edge of ripping pages between his fingers. For the past week and a half, you and Mingyu have spent time together as new acquaintances, giving Sobbing time to read mortal literature.
He should be happy for you; his initial plan to find someone who fits your life and wishes so well is going perfectly. Yet why does he wish he could rewind time and take it back?
To your pleasure and Soobin’s secret dismay, Mingyu’s surprise gift of homemade mini animal treats made the day an amazing experience for all three of you.
You pay no mind to Soobin’s sudden and off-putting sulking as you show Mingyu around the animal shelter, your new friend interested in your job as much as you’re intrigued by him.
Beomgyu saunters up to Soobin with a bag of kibble in his hands, clicking his tongue. “It’s tough, isn’t it, man?”
Soobin huffs and looks at the younger man, the aura around your friend similar to his back home. If only Kai could see him now, grumbling and pouting like a kicked puppy.
“What is?”
“Seeing the girl you like with someone else. I mean, she’s pretty great so I get it.”
Soobin rolls his eyes and goes back to the novel in his hands to distract himself. His jaw ticks when he hears your laughter. The sound creates such a beautiful symphony to his ears, but it’s not reserved for him at the moment, and it makes his stomach turn. “You’re wrong.”
“Okay, dude. I get it. None of my business.” Beomgyu lifts the bag over his shoulder and starts walking, but looks back at Soobin with a smirk. “But maybe it might be mutual if you gave it a shot.”
Soobin scoffs at the kid, and then at himself for the split second he entertains the idiot’s idea. Soobin can pine all he wants, but he knows the boundaries. A multitude of reasons prevent this line from ever being crossed.
He may have incredibly powerful feelings for you, but they’re hidden away and unable to reach the light of day. Not just because he has a strategy for you and Mingyu, but he is not an acceptable suitor because he doesn’t belong here, simply put. Earth is only a temporary stay on his list. And when he goes back and reports to Yeonjun of his success, who knows what will happen?
All he knows is that your paths will cross only once in his and your lifetime, and never again.
Soobin almost remains stuck in his misery until you walk up to him with an orange icing-colored dog bone treat in your hands. You hold it out to him with a shy smile. “For you.”
He smirks, taking the snack from you and rotating it between his fingers. “Isn’t this for the dogs, love?”
And the signature eye roll comes, your bottom lip between your teeth as you do it. “They’re organic. Anyone can eat them.” You look back at him directly, suddenly concerned. “You can eat, right?”
He chuckles. Nodding his head, he looks back at the snack. “Just not sure if I’ll like it.”
You stick your tongue out at him. “Just try it, please?”
Reluctantly, he bites down. Sweet potatoes and carrots, harmoniously blended, flood his mouth. The icing and pinch of cinnamon provides the perfect level of sweetness to round it all out, and Soobin groans. Even the dog treats the guy makes are perfect.
“Okay, it’s pretty great,” Soobin admits, taking another bite. “Even if they’re meant for dogs.”
You laugh and take a tiny corner for yourself. “At least you can say you’ve eaten a dog bone.”
Soobin’s tender smile makes you blush, and it stirs up all the feelings you’ve suppressed when you’re not in his presence. Mingyu’s a welcome distraction from it all. His looks and personality are undeniably attractive, but you always circle back to the angel in your midst.
Who can blame you? He’s ethereal, his magnetism undeniable. But that warmth he’s had from the first day you met is why you can only stay away for so long. He’s a part of your world now, and you can’t imagine that changing in the foreseeable future.
He’s made his place on Earth with you, and you dread the day he has to go back to where he belongs.
The end of January brings the last time for branches to stay vacant of leaves. You notice the small sprouts of leaves amidst the brown limbs as you and Soobin walk back to your house. You bite back a smile, and Soobin comments on it.
It’s like he clenches your heart between his fingers as he says it. “You always hide your excitement like nobody should be watching. Like it’s wrong to be happy about the little things.”
You blush while strolling beside him. “It’s not that I’m hiding it. Maybe I just don’t think anyone will get why I’m happy about certain things.”
Soobin bumps you with his shoulder, a close-mouthed smile on his lips. “Try me.”
You exhale a breath to get your bearings. “Okay, so everyone is always excited about the start of the new year. But then it’s like the excitement dies down and we just go on our merry way until the next holiday comes up. It’s not in the days for me. It’s the environment that always makes me feel the shift, you know?
“Like with animals, almost. The energy is unique, and I feel it when I see the colors and feel the temperature fluctuate.” You shake your head and tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “That may sound stupid, but—“
Soobin stops you on the open sidewalk, taking your hand in his. He looks into your eyes earnestly, wanting you to take his words to heart before he says them. “Nothing you’ve ever said to me is stupid, love. Every thought you have is beautiful because it’s yours.”
Like the town greenery, something shifts inside of you then. Even on the rest of the walk home and the talk over dinner about the day at the shelter, you sense an unfamiliar emotion swirling in the air between you and Soobin. You can’t name it, but it reminds you of the first blooms of spring, brimming with promise.
The first week of February comes in a tidal wave. Many people flood the animal shelter looking for the perfect furry friend to complete their family on the cusp of Valentine’s Day.
All you can hope for is that a majority of them, or at least fifty percent, don’t come back to the shelter after the holiday is over to return the animals looking for forever homes.
That was the one thing that bugged you the most about this job: biting your tongue at the obvious lack of responsibility people put into owning pets.
It holds more weight than anyone knows, bringing another being in your home to tend to like a child. The only difference is that many of them have histories that deserve more care than normal, and some don’t want to put in the right amount of effort.
You sit on these thoughts as Soobin holds the newest cat to the shelter in his hands. “Have you thought of a name for Mr. Cat yet?” Soobin inspects the spot near the cat’s tail. “Or Missus?”
You giggle and grab the clipboard with the cat’s information on it. “He’s a he, Soob. You can come up with a name.”
He ponders the choices, before his smile grows and he presses his nose to the cat’s. “How about Hyuka?” He rubs the back of the cat’s ears tenderly.
You grin at Soobin and brush your fingers over Hyuka’s fur. “I think it’s a perfect fit.”
Soobin looks over at you with bright eyes, his expression transforming into one that feels like the one you held that day so long ago when he called your thoughts beautiful. A question forms on his tongue, but it flits away the second Mingyu walks through the double doors of the animal shelter with a bouquet of daisies.
At least the jerk knows your favorite flowers, Soobin thinks to himself as he walks with Hyuka back to his block in the back room.
You smile at Mingyu and thank him for the flowers, immediately pressing your nose to them to inhale their smell. “They’re amazing, thank you.”
“My buddy Wonwoo is a florist, so don’t thank me too much. I got a discount even though I should’ve paid full price.”
“Can’t beat a couple bucks off.” You set the bundle down on your desk and cross your arms over the countertop. “I take it you’re not just here to deliver flowers?”
Mingyu chuckles and presses a hand to his neck, his toned biceps stretching out his shirt. “Actually, I was going to ask if you had any plans for Valentine’s.”
You stumble on your explanation, discussing the closure of the shelter for the holiday. “Well,” Mingyu starts, “I was thinking you could come by for dinner. And I promise it won’t just be me making you taste test cupcakes again.”
You laugh, but the sound falls flat. You had always been the one pining, yearning for the boy you liked to like you back. Being on the other side of the coin was not exactly ideal. “Mingyu, you know I appreciate you and I am flattered, but…”
Soobin.
You’re unsure how to continue, but Mingyu holds a hand up in understanding. “I get it. How about I make you a meal, anyway? Consider it a friend treating a friend for all of her hard work.”
You blush and nod. “I’d like that very much.”
You’re washing dried-up wet food from the cat bowls when Soobin walks up to you, his face red. By the time Mingyu left, you expected Soobin to come back to your side so you could wash the dishes together. You did it yourself, seeing as he took forever to come back. Soobin asks with a tone of authority, “What the hell are you thinking?”
You poke your cheek with your tongue, contemplating. “I’m thinking Hyuka’s chances of getting adopted before Valentine’s is about—“
“You know that wasn’t what I meant, love.” He says the pet name with annoyance as he drops one bowl into the sink next to you. His tone catches you off guard, not expecting to see Soobin angry for the first time like this.
“You asked me what I was thinking, and I’m telling you.”
“Why did you say no to the date?” Soobin asks, his eyes blazing with fury. Something without a name sits below though, you can tell.
“I, technically, didn’t say no. It’s just more friendly than romantic.”
“Do you expect me to find you another soulmate like this?” Soobin drops another dirty plate in the sink for you to clean up. You don’t know if the question is exactly for you or for himself.
The tension sits thickly in the air, the running tap the only sound for a good minute or two. “I’m sure you’ll think of something,” you respond, hoping to ease the awkwardness.
Your cheekiness makes Soobin chuckle deeply. You missed his laugh, you realize, not hearing the sound in a while. Not since before Mingyu came around. “What am I gonna do with you, love?”
You shrug and go back to washing the bowls, hiding your smile behind soap suds and dishwater.
Soobin’s leg shakes as he sits on your couch, watching the clock on the spot above your door. 10:49 PM. He’s been waiting for hours to welcome you home from your “friendly” date with Mingyu. Admittedly, he’s been waiting since the second you left, the night of Valentine’s Day on the forefront of his brain since he heard the meathead ask you to have dinner.
Minho and Key keep him company, the older animals in your horde understanding and patient while Soobin mopes around. The angel feels as impatient as Bori can be when she has to wait for dinner.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Soobin says to Key, the chihuahua’s overbite hanging almost like a taunt. “I’m not stewing.”
He’s definitely stewing. The animals must be saying to each other, conspiring about what will occur when their mother finally gets home.
And on the cusp of eleven, you walk into the house and unbuckle your heels. You watch Soobin on the couch, his hands fidgeting on his lap. “Have you been sitting there for three hours?” You ask in a cute tone that drives Soobin nuts.
“No, I made the animals dinner.” You set your bag on the iron wrack where your coats lie, and throw your shoes in some corner of the living room before Soobin continues with, “So, how was the date?”
You stride to the mirror, beginning to unclasp the flashy studs in your ears. “It was fine. Nothing special. Just two friends having dinner.”
“That’s all it was? No candles at the table, no romantic music, nothing?”
“Why are you so concerned, Soobin? I went out, I had fun, now I’m home.” Soobin’s not prepared to hear your voice so clipped and direct. Your frustration is usually a mask of humor or concern. Not genuine anger, like right now. You don’t look at him directly, continuing to remove your jewelry as your ire grows.
You try to de-escalate the argument by retreating to the kitchen, but he only follows you there. And moving back into the living doesn’t help either. “Stop following me, Soobin!”
“Stop running away,” he barks back.
“I will when you stop making a big deal out of this.”
“It is a big deal,” he says with a scoff. “And am I not allowed to worry about you and who you’re with?” He asks with a bite that matches your irritation.
“Why are you so concerned if Mingyu’s the person you wanted to set me up with in the first place?”
“Don’t ask me that question,” he whispers. His jaw tightens and his hands clam up, but you don’t give in. If he wants to finish the discussion, then you’ll continue to press him for an answer.
“Why? What kind of ‘proprietary information’ relates to how you feel about this? What does me going out with Mingyu and you being a complete ass about it have anything to do with top-secret intel?”
“I love you, alright?!” He yells, standing stock still as his veins pulse in his head and neck. His hands go to the messy strands of his hair, almost like he feels himself going crazy at his own confession. “I did not mean to, and it’s awful. I can’t give you the life you deserve. Someone like Mingyu or any other human man would be lucky to have you, yet I can barely stomach the thought of someone else getting to touch you in all the ways I wish I could. And it’s driving me insane.”
The confession knocks something loose inside of you, remaining inhibitions be damned if it means now that the feelings Soobin harbors mirror your own without a doubt.
You step closer to him, the tension almost too much to bear any longer. You press your hands to his neck, and bring him closer until your lips are a mere inch apart. “Nothing and nobody’s stopping you, Soobin.”
He takes a deep breath to hold himself back, grounding himself so he doesn’t do something that will upend both of your worlds. “You don’t know that, love.”
You chuckle softly. “Maybe not, but I do know that I love you too.”
When you brush his mouth with your own, every being in the universe, heavenly or not, ceases to exist in your mind. It’s only you and Soobin in your own world. You want to kick yourself for taking so long to seize this moment, this kiss, with him. For all of the reasons Soobin supplies as to why it’s wrong for the two of you to be together, this could not feel more right.
Soobin only gives himself a second of separation from you to catch his breath before he dives back in for one, two, three more kisses. He moans eagerly into your mouth. He tugs on the fabric of your dress to occupy his hands, his body hungry for any contact he can get.
Heavens do be damned, if it means he can keep you between his arms and against his lips.
And when you fall asleep that night in his arms a few hours later, you pray to every god you can name that it never ends.
The expectation of waking up to the warmth of Soobin’s arms and kisses dies when you feel his empty side of the bed. You search the entire house, your dogs padding behind you as you search every corner for him.
To your terror and slowly breaking heart, he remains to be seen. Soobin is gone like he was never there to begin with, your house flooding with a chill that hits you to the core.
You crawl back into bed alone with tears streaming down your face. The only time you rise is to let the animals eat and use the bathroom. For the rest of the day, you remain in bed like a phantom. Half out of your body, half inside of it to feel every ounce of pain. Each shred of sadness reminds you that you still exist, and the man—angel—that you love is gone.
Yeonjun has his head in his hand when another pair of associates throw Soobin in front of his desk. Soobin put up an intense fight in the resulting scuffle to bring him back to the office above Earth, but he doesn’t regret it. The only thing he regrets is not leaving you with some sort of explanation, even something as little as a minute to tell you he loves you.
“When I approved your descent, I expected you to help your assignment. Not sleep with her.” Yeonjun sighs and reads over the paperwork at his desk. “The guys above me are gonna love this.”
“Jun, please.” Soobin falls down on his scraped knees and raises his hands in a prayer. “Let me just tell her—”
“What else is there to explain? You’ve clearly done enough.”
“I’m begging you—”
“You think I’m going to let you spend another second with her and make me look like an idiot? No.” He slams his hand on the desk. “If you’re lucky, Soobin, all the archangels will do is send you to the second circle of Hell. I’m surprised they’re not reprimanding me as your superior. You broke our greatest oath.”
Do not consort with humans, Soobin reminds himself as tears stream down his face. “I love her, Yeonjun. And you know she loves me. Didn’t I do my job? I found her a soulmate, just like she wished for.”
Yeonjun shakes his head with a sad smirk. “Don’t think you can get around our rules this time, Soobin. I just called you here to tell you the council will see you in the morning. Be grateful they’re giving you a chance to explain yourself.”
The angels that brought Soobin in drag him away to the lower cells of the building. As he’s pushed and pulled through dark hallways, Soobin has barely enough time to come up with a plan to fix what he’s ruined. Barely.
Your dream is almost the same as the one you envisioned months ago, the dark cavern welcoming you like an old friend. The fog of your transition from sleep to dreaming still pervades your senses. You barely have time to make out the details before Soobin has you wrapped in his arms, holding you so tightly that you feel the air knocked out of your lungs. “Thank God it worked.”
You sob immediately when you recognize Soobin’s voice and his arms around you. It’s like a magnet the way you gravitate to one another, not worrying if the dream will last a second or into eternity. You can barely remember the pain of being without him now that he’s in front of you.
You call his name as he kisses the crown of your hair. He backs you into the desk at the far end of the room, lifting you up by the legs to sit on its marble top. He trails his lips down until they meet your own, and he says so tenderly, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there when you woke up.”
Breaking into a fit of sad laughter, you run your hands through the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m just happy you’re here with me now.” You kiss him again and again, until your lips feel bruised and sore.
Soobin sheds a tear and looks back into the night outside of his office door. “I don’t have long. They’ll bring me back to my cell soon. But I wanted to tell you I love you. And I’ll come back as soon as I can.”
“W-Why are you being punished? You did what you were s-supposed to,” you stutter, a mournful knot building in your throat.
“I fell in love with a human when I shouldn’t have,” he answers, another tear welling in his eye. “But it was worth every rule I broke. How could I regret finding my best friend?” Soobin smiles despite the pain that you two share.
You hiccup into his neck. “When will I see you again?”
“I-I don't know. But I’ll fix this,” he assures you, a steadfast determination in his expression.
“You don’t know that for sure, though,” you cry, heart ripping deeper at the seams with each word.
“I don’t, but for now, know that I love you. I love you more than my existence allows.” He kisses you one more time as the edges of your dream blur. “It’s only for now, I promise.”
When you wake tangled in the comforter on your bed, the morning sky bleeding through your window, you begin the torture of waiting for the person you love most in the world to come back to you.
TWO MONTHS LATER
For the past seven Fridays since Soobin left, you’ve stayed in and waited for the phone to ring or the doorbell to sound, any way to signify that he hasn’t broken his promise. You don’t bother going into work, trying to find any excuse to stay in the house.
Beomgyu tries to get you out, go on dates, avoid the aching hole in your chest, but he doesn’t understand. None of your friends do. They think he’s left without an explanation like another random asshole would, but they don’t understand how wrong they are.
They’ll never understand you’re waiting for the one who took your heart between his hands and still holds it to this day, even if you can’t see him for now.
For now. The words play in your mind on a loop, the sound of Soobin’s voice as vivid as the day he said them between kisses in your dream. It’s only for now, I promise.
This Friday, you take his words to heart and decide to go out. You walk Key and Bori, the morning sun turning into an afternoon sky clear of clouds. The warmer weather signals winter is giving way to spring, although you can still feel the chill in your bones.
When you bring the dogs back home, you’re still too restless to stay inside, too many memories in the house haunting you with Soobin’s presence.
You walk around the town streets, the memories of those you love the most filling your heart with a solemn nostalgia that edges out the parts of you that are still miserable. You and Beomgyu learning to ride bikes around the animal shelter. Your parents treating you to your first scoop of mint chocolate ice cream after you won gold at your spelling contest. The kiss you shared with Soobin in your living room, and all the kisses that followed.
Each one contains longing for the past, yet offers some hope for making fresh memories in the same spots. And even locations you haven’t discovered yet.
By the second trip around the blocks you know too well, nighttime rears its head. The city lights mark the street names and numbers with a yellow glow, the heavens above pitch black.
Your legs are sluggish, ankles sore from continuing through the world around you without stopping for rest, but no physical excursion compared to the mental expedition you’ve been on today, a microcosm for all of your tangled emotions for the past two months.
You almost give into the demands of your body when you hear the faintest sound of your name behind you. Turning on shaking limbs, you see the perfect contours and edges of the man you love in crystal clarity. His shoulders heave as his face remains wet with tears, his body on the verge of convulsing from the travel back to you.
Although every muscle strains and screams inside of you, you run towards him with all of your might and crash into his arms. The water on your cheeks mixes with his when your skin touches. He kisses each tear before he reaches your lips, his mouth tasting of salt and peppermint.
“I’m here. I’m here, my love.” He strokes your hair with his hand and runs the other across your back.
“I didn’t get to say I love you too, last time I saw you,” you say, the words tumbling over one another as you try getting them about. You’re crying and mumbling and it all feels incoherent, but you know every sound you emit is true.
Soobin chuckles, and you’re reminded how beautiful the sound of his laughter is. “You never had to say it back, my love. I already knew.”
Your heartbeat is erratic, but it doesn’t distract you from the fact Soobin’s heart seems to beat as well. A strong, even-tempered rhythm, one you’ve never heard before. You look him deep in the eyes, needing to hear the words on his lips. “Are you—“
His voice is still hoarse and tattered, but his smile is like the salve to all of your wounds. “I told you I would come back to you.”
You whimper, another tear escaping from your eyes. “You gave up everything for me? Your immortality, your friends, your—”
He presses a finger to your lips before running it over your cheek, his expression soft. “I completed my mission. And my everything is right here with me.”
You kiss his lips, all the I love you’s not enough to encapsulate every feeling and gift Soobin’s given you since he came into your life. You both may be on Earth, one old and one new human soul linked as one, but you know this is what it means to be higher than even the immensity of heaven.
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higher than heaven | 𝐜𝐬𝐛
୨୧ pairing: choi soobin x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 10.3k ୨୧ genre: fluff, angst, smut ୨୧ tags: guardian angel!soobin, human!reader, mutual pining, sexual tension, dirty talking, nipple play, chest worship, fingering, unprotected sex ୨୧ synopsis: Soobin, your devoted guardian angel, has one singular purpose in his ethereal existence: to bring your heart's deepest desires to life. Unbeknownst to him, his mere presence fulfills that desire. Yet, the lingering question remains— how can he effectively transform your most intimate dreams into reality? ♬ playlist: iris | nightly, dizzy | yueku, unbreakable | jamie scott, monsters | joan, feel every bit | the ivy, infinitely falling | fly by midnight, kiss my scars | august royals, next to me | peter fenn, hideaway | jacob collier, salvation | gabrielle aplin, magic island | tomorrow x together ⟢ AUTHOR'S NOTE: First fic of 2025! I’d like to thank @lovetaroandtaemin, @chugging-antiseptic-dye, @ylangelegy, @gyubakeries, and @xomakara for beta-reading this fic for me, I know it was a quick journey and I appreciate every one of you who followed the story from the beginning to the end 🤍.
The time fills as plastic shot glasses and empty solo cups discarded into trash bags. Some stragglers of the party lay on the couch or floor, but you pass by them with ease. You sigh before Beomgyu stops you with a sharp tug. "Dude, you don't have to help me. You're supposed to be one of my guests!"
"I'm just avoiding the inevitable tomorrow. And if you come into the shelter late because you procrastinated cleaning your own apartment, I may just kill you."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it, boss.” He rolls his eyes and unfurls the empty bag you had between your hands moments before. You giggle in earnest.
“If I get a single text, Gyu–”
“Why don’t you enjoy the early morning hours of New Year's and get out of here?" He shoves you towards the door of his apartment with an "I love you” to follow you out, determined to do what you swear he won't without your help.
Beomgyu may be your childhood friend, but habits hold on tight with him. It’s clear from the three years he’s worked at your animal shelter. Your parents always said he has good intentions, although he’s brash in decision-making. "The kid just asks for forgiveness more than permission most of the time," your dad would joke, and Beomgyu wouldn’t disagree.
Your parents’ words replay in your head on the walk home. You hear every piece of parental advice with each step on the cobblestones, the clack or your heels accompanying every word. It's customary on New Years to feel the ache of their absence so strongly. Your thoughts of them are as vivid as the pain of their loss. It seems to haunt you more with every year that passes.
One day, you had been tagging new intakes and cleaning food bowls like normal. The next you were receiving the call that your parents had been in a fatal car accident. Every space they inhabited, including the shelter, felt colder, quieter, a little less like home. Even your own house twenty minutes from your job barely felt like your own.
Five years of grief made the pain manageable, but on nights like tonight, it doesn’t feel like you’ve made much progress..
The cold of January accompanies the repetitive emotional and mental cycle you're on. The weather bites with a hard set of teeth, almost more brutal than the traces of sadness you feel in your heart.
You don’t realize amid the somber trek home how close the surrounding shadows are, one of a stranger within an arm’s distance.
Your animals greet you at your door with perky barks and whooshing tails. Mina and Minho, your two tabby cats, seem to be delighted that you’re back, but save the ecstatic greetings for their canine siblings. Key, your senior chihuahua, does what he can energy-wise compared to Bori, your labrador mix.
“Bobo, please,” you beg as she jumps up on you when you kneel at her eye-level. It’s all a mess of slobbering tongue and eager pants with her. Once she’s done, you rub Key between the ears to give him some affection.
Even your hedgehog, Rio, taps against the glass of his enclosure to say hello to you. It’s almost like every pair of animal eyes asks you how the party went and why you left them alone for so long.
You can’t supply them with an answer, because you notice the person-shaped figure at your kitchen counter, silent and clouded in darkness. The sight makes you release a decibel-breaking scream.
You grab an umbrella from the iron wrack near your door and charge to the kitchen, expecting Key and Bori to follow you and bark aggressively at the intruder. They don’t, but they do pad behind you in curiosity at your strange actions.
They barely react at all when you turn on the light in the small kitchen. The new illumination reveals the black-haired stranger dressed in white. He says nothing, but holds a smile of mirth on his face at your line of defense. He's neither scrawny nor muscular, but towers over you to a surreal degree.
You think you can take him if you have the element of surprise, but with the alcohol still buzzing through your veins, you may lack complete hand-eye coordination. It’s anyone’s guess.
“What do you want? If you’re looking for money, you got the wrong house, buddy.” You say with a steady voice, aiming the sharpest point of the umbrella in his direction.
He smiles wide, pearly teeth and a set of dimples almost blinding you. “I’m Soobin.”
His lack of an answer and warm smile throw you off. It’s definitely not the reaction anyone expects from a burglar. Maybe the guy's intoxication is even greater than yours, enabling him to enter someone's home without permission. No matter the reasons, you don’t release your hold on the umbrella. You stare him down hard despite your shaking hands.
“Well…Soobin…I don’t know what you want, but you’re not gonna find it here.”
“I’m in the exact place I need to be.” He says your name with the same level of warmth that remains in his smile, but your blood runs cold at the fact he is aware of who you are. Was he stalking you? Had he stopped by the animal shelter while you were too busy to make a mental note of him? “Put down the umbrella and we–”
“Get the fuck out of my house, you creep!” You raise the umbrella as high as you can before it falls on his head, shoulders, or any location on his body that will stun him. He knows it’s coming, though.
Soobin somehow materializes right in front of you before you can step forward, taking your wrists gently in one hand to stop you. “There’s no need for that. I’m not here to harm you.”
You struggle in his hold, trying your hardest to release yourself from his grip with all of your might. Then, you freeze, unsure of how both his speed and his lack of alarm to your furry animals makes any logical sense.
Soobin senses your lack of effort to go through with your attack and lets go of you, taking a small breath of air. “Will you drop the umbrella?”
“Once you tell me what you are,” you whisper. “My dogs would have ripped off your ankles by now, but they didn’t. Why?”
Soobin chuckles, but you feel anything but humorous. “The why to that question is a bit hard to explain. But I can tell you why I’m here.” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly bashful. “Let’s just say I have a mission to complete.”
Soobin sits at one end of the couch, hands in his lap, while you sit on the other. Your dogs lay at the edge of the couch, snoring peacefully now that the chaos is over. Your knees sit tight against your chest, still guarding yourself from him or any potential advances he may make.
You may not think he wants to kill or rob you anymore, but that doesn’t mean you’re immediately trusting of the stranger. One that is no doubt breathtaking, but still hiding his intentions.
You size him up, still unsure how or why the guy is familiar with you when you’ve never seen him before. He can barely provide you with an adequate answer for the questions that pop into your head.
Where are you from? How do you know me? Have we ever met before?
He chuckles at each one, continuing on with the same reflexive response. “Proprietary information.”
You roll your eyes. “Every time you say that, you sound like some kind of spy.” You move closer to his spot on the couch, looking at him with more intensity than before.
The analysis makes him laugh even more, his cheeks turning pink. “I’m not an alien, if that was your second guess.”
“That’s not what I was thinking!”
He quirks an eyebrow at you. “You look like you’re about to cut me open with a scalpel.”
Your lips transform into a firm line. “Should I want to, Soobin? Maybe you’re saying you’re not an alien to throw me off.”
“Trust me, I am not an extraterrestrial. Not cool enough.”
You can’t help but laugh at the ridiculous situation you find yourself in, matching the smile on Soobin’s face with your own. An hour ago, you were about to kill him in self-defense for what you assumed was a classic break-in scenario. Now, you’re laughing with your would-be victim. This has to be the most peculiar first day of the year you’ve ever had.
He claps his hands softly on his white denim jeans. “We should call it a night. You’re probably tired. I can explain more tomorrow, if you’d like.”
You look around your house, unsure where Soobin is planning to stay for the next few hours. The one-bed-and-bath cottage is anything but roomy, most of your space taken up by work supplies or your animals’ stuff.
He senses your trepidation and grins. “Don’t worry, I can come back in the morning.”
You suck in a breath. Most of you feels relief, but there’s a small inkling of sadness that pervades your emotions. You barely know Soobin, but his presence provides a warmth that your home has been missing.
It has to be the last traces of alcohol and the simmering grief still in your system.
“Okay. I have work in the morning, but–”
“I’ll be here before you have to leave,” Soobin cuts you off. He holds his hand out in a goodbye, and you take it. His soft palm meets yours and heats your skin, and you have to cut the parting short to not feel any more flustered.
“See you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight, love.” He leaves you with one more grin before he exits, confusing you further.
The touch of his fingertips on you follows you into sleep, his skin the last coherent sensation you have before it all goes black.
There is a murky quality to the dream you find yourself in. You’re surrounded by grey, the color’s opacity fading only partly as the details become clearer.
The room around you looks more like a cavern than a traditional room. It’s made of stone, cavelike and primitive. The entrance to the area is too vast for a normal door. It’s almost as if you could step out and fall into nothing but clouds. The world outside is a mixture of inky blacks and dark blues, signifying nighttime outside the four rocky walls.
You look back to the inside of the space. It holds a desk covered with paperwork and photographs. You’re alone, standing in the center of it all, but too far away from the papers on the table to see any information.
Before you can step closer, Soobin enters with a blonde man hot on his heels. They both walk right through you, seemingly not noticing your presence at all as they continue their discussion.
They emit their own light somehow, the room nowhere near as dark as when you were alone inside of it.
“If you fail at this, Yeonjun will demote you and have no qualms about doing it.” The blonde man ruffles his hair in frustration, and inches closer to Soobin. They clearly have a close relationship, from the concern on the stranger’s face to the hand that he rests on Soobin's shoulder. “You’ve worked too hard to lose everything, Soobin.”
“I know, Hyuka,” Soobin says in a somber tone, sorting through the papers on his desk. “But she needs me now more than ever. And I know I can help. And if I succeed, I can actually—“
“I get it. We’re just not supposed to get involved unless we’re certain about it. You know this.”
Soobin sighs. “You didn’t see her, Kai. I have to.”
The man named Kai exhales a deep breath and walks away, his pleas seeming to hit a brick wall. The last thing he says, “I hope you know what you’re risking,” barely makes it to your ears. All you notice before Kai’s departure is the unfurling of wings from his back, the white and gray feathers spouting from the tendons just below his shoulders.
You scream when he drops from the entrance, his wings carrying him away. You don’t care if the sound alerts either of the two men, not after witnessing such an unrealistic moment.
You scream again when you hear the unfurling of Soobin’s wings, the sound almost whipping you onto your back from the gust his wings emit. They’re dark grey, larger than Kai’s are. They create such long-casting shadows that you have no question now what Soobin is or where he comes from.
The word replays in your mind as the surrounding scene dematerializes and you wake up with a rapid heartbeat: an angel.
Soobin waits at your door in the same white button-up and jeans he had on the night prior. You welcome him inside, and he looks more ethereal somehow in daylight.
The dream hits you again with its full force, the image of his grey wings flashing across your memory.
“So, you’re an angel,” You say, filling the space between you both with a new tension. The anxiety only permeates from you; Soobin exudes an air of calm instead, despite your accusation.
He almost ticks his head down in a nod as he responds with the words, “Proprietary information.”
You nod your head and gulp hard. Somehow, the aura around you and the subtext in his expression tells you what you know to be true.
He showed you all you needed to know last night through your dreams, a miraculous loophole to the restrictions placed upon him.
When you’re finally ready to go to work, the morning chores around the house finished before Soobin even made it to your doorstep, you look over at the man in front of you again with trepidation. The white attire may lead to a multitude of questions that you and Soobin cannot answer.
“What? Is there something on my face?” Soobin asks, confused.
You laugh and shake your head, any residual tension from your realization broken. “You look a bit too…uniform for the shelter.”
“Oh! Well…” He blushes, unsure how to respond.
An idea pops into your head when his words come up short. “I may have some old stuff that’ll fit you.”
“Why is the rando wearing your dad’s windbreaker?” Beomgyu asks while cleaning Jin, the newest adoptee at the shelter. His eyes peer over at Soobin filling some food bowls with kibble. Soobin’s presence fills the space the same way it did in your house.
He wears your dad’s long-sleeve shirt, windbreaker, and khaki pants well. Despite his freakishly tall height, the clothes don’t look small on him, and you’re relieved he’s able to fit in like any normal guy with the change in wardrobe.
You scoff, continuing to fill out the documents for Jin’s tag and vaccinations without looking up at your friend. “Soobin’s new in town and lost everything on the plane ride here. He just needed to borrow some stuff until his luggage gets delivered.”
Beomgyu nods, still concerned. He goes back to scrubbing Jin’s coat with the anti-tick shampoo, and you leave his spot at the cleaning station to stand beside Soobin.
“You do this every day? These bags are heavy, even for me.” Soobin grunts and clips the bag closed.
“I usually make Gyu or another volunteer do it. But you saved me the trouble of asking.” You smirk and take two of the bowls in your hands. “Want to help me feed the dogs?”
Soobin’s eyes light up, and he nods. You wonder as you walk to the cages if he’s ever interacted with animals before he left his home in the skies.
Since you were a kid, the shelter has always been a part of your daily regimen. Once college was out of the way, you had a stable job waiting for you to practice your veterinary degree on. While some could only handle so many cat scratches, dog poops, and absurd origin stories, it made every day worth it in your eyes. And the fact that you had a history with tending to furry friends with your parents only made it more worthwhile to continue doing.
The second you open the cages to let the dogs eat, you recognize how natural Soobin is at the job. He talks to them in a childlike voice and rubs their bellies as they munch on kibble and necessary medicines you give in between feeding. Even the dogs with the rougher backgrounds take to Soobin like a bee to honey, the warmth he naturally exudes relaxing them.
He truly is an angel, you realize, and not just in the literal sense.
You lock up the shelter for the day with a lot less weight on your shoulders thanks to Soobin. “I might as well give you the keys to this place. It suits you well,” you joke.
Soobin tucks his hands into his windbreaker, smiling hard. “It just came easy, I guess. Animals aren’t like people. They don’t have to hide behind words. It’s all about energy.”
You look at him as you walk away from the building together, your face softened from his words. “My mom always used to say stuff like that. To her, animals were the bestest friends you could ever ask for. She’d say it’s like they see into your soul.”
Soobin grins. “She seems lovely.”
You swallow hard, balling your hands into fists inside your jacket. It’s not anger that permeates your body now, not the way it used to. All that exists is the reality that their words are simply memories. “She was. My dad too. That place was their second home.” You wave your arm in the direction of the shelter. The building diminishes from view as you round the corner to head home. “And mine, too.”
“Did you envision this being your life?” Soobin asks, the question taking you by surprise. “I don’t mean to pry.”
“No, it’s okay!” You laugh. “I mean—I love working with the animals every day, and I have great friends. It just can be very routine sometimes, like there’s this gap that I can’t fill.” You hold back the more intimate details of your desires to Soobin, still guarded and uncertain of being so vulnerable so soon.
He steps closer, the walk becoming more intimate with his shoulder almost brushing yours. “You’ve been alone for quite a while. It’s understandable to want to share your life with someone.”
You blush hard, a mixture of the January cold and his correct assumptions building a steady heat on your cheeks. “That’s what most people want, I guess.”
Eyes widening, you realize now why Soobin may be discussing these things with you. Could his super secret mission, which he discussed the night you met, relate to right now?
“No fucking way,” you whisper to yourself, stopping on the stone street. Soobin only gets a few paces farther than you before he stops.
“Is there something wrong?” He asks, his eyebrows drawn up and his mouth in a small O that you would normally giggle at.
Now, you have no time for humor.
“Did you come here because of the stupid wish I made on New Year’s Eve?”
“Taehyun, if you give me another shot, I will throw up!” You exclaim in a fit of giggles, three drinks already in your system over the last hour and a half. His girlfriend, Kazuha, stands by your side as she downs the shot in her hand, her mouth puckering as she swallows it down. “Zu, I thought you were the DD tonight!”
“Fuck it, I’ll call an Uber.” She winks and chases the shot with a sip of beer. Beomgyu wades through the throng of people in his living room to join all of you in the kitchen.
“Taking shots without me? That’s a party foul.”
“Whatever, man. It’s not like we can’t make more.” Taehyun passes him one filled with tequila to catch up, and Beomgyu downs it in the next second. By the time the buzz of the drinks hits your head, Jungwon barrels into the kitchen with his own girlfriend Yeri to tell you all that the ball is dropping.
Everyone crowds around the television to watch the remaining minute of the year play out. The strangers around you scream out the last seconds, others speak in a drunken lilt.
You turn to your friends, somehow the only person without someone attached to their hip. Beomgyu is holding a random girl's shoulder, while your other friends stand closely together in their respective couples, watching the countdown..
“Four, three, two, one! Happy New Year!” Beomgyu says the words into his date’s neck before kissing her roughly on the lips. Your other friends have their own celebratory make-out sessions. You feel like an intruder as they all enjoy the moment in their respective couples.
You’ve never been a grouch about your single status, not once. But it felt like a part of you was missing out with little of a choice in the matter. Whether by the confines of chance or love simply not being meant for you for the past twenty-seven years, you can only be comfortable for so long before the pain of solitude drains you dry.
Was it so awful to want to find someone to share funny videos with? To talk to about days at the shelter when a cute animal comes in and needs a loving home? When days are heavy on your heart and you need the one you love the most to lift you up and make it all evaporate with a simple “I love you”? To make every struggle and hardship, no matter how big or small, worth it?
And so, with only a drunken mind and heart to listen to your deepest whims, you wish for what seems the most out of reach as your eyes line with tears: a soulmate to bridge the gap between your loneliness and true fulfillment.
When the reality of why Soobin’s here hits you, you can’t help but release one of the loudest laughs you’ve ever emitted before.
“You have to be fucking kidding me,” you say with exasperated breaths, all the air in your lungs saved mostly for your laughter. “You came all the way from up there to play matchmaker?”
Soobin chuckles to himself, the sounds that leave his lips a lot quieter than yours. “You make it sound so childish.”
“Can you blame me?” You ask. “I don’t need help in that department!”
Soobin gives you a knowing look, hitting you somewhere deep in the chest. “Then I wouldn’t be here, would I?”
“Okay, don’t speak in riddles to me!”
“I’m just stating facts, love.”
You roll your eyes, and Soobin laughs again. “So you’re magically going to find me the perfect partner after only knowing me for 48 hours?”
“I’ve known you for much longer than that.” He steps even closer to you, your fingers brushing his as he stands a few inches from you. “But again, it’s—“
“Proprietary information, I get it,” you whisper. You cough into your fist and glide past him, the moment broken. “Either way, I am just fine with or without a boyfriend, Soobin.”
He follows behind without a word, but you sense his smile without looking at him. Jerk.
Soobin has helped many people in his immortal life. It’s an existence he couldn’t fill in just one book. He’d have to go back centuries to the very moment he started his work as a guardian. His life began long before that, but his true merits came when he started helping those who needed supernatural guidance.
He’s seen from his eagle’s eye view many heartbreaks, losses, successes, and love stories, but nothing as encapsulating as the story of your life.
You were a vision to see the first time you held an animal in your hands, hands tepid but heart full from the creature giving all of its affection to you for you to reciprocate wholeheartedly. He was in awe of you when you stepped across the stage with your degree, eager to put all the knowledge you gained about medicine to a good use. And his ever-still heart ached with yours the second you got that phone call in November five years ago, wanting nothing more than to catch you before your knees hit the tile below.
You’re the one assignment he’s kept too close an eye on, the others in his caseload not holding his focus so strongly. He succumbed to forbidden desires, wishes he knew were unattainable.
But the second he felt your heart break on the one night he knew he could seize the chance to step over the border between Heaven and Earth, he chose the only option that felt right: he had to leave home and heal what needed to be mended inside of you a long time ago.
He watches you help the teenage girl adopting her first pet with immense adoration.
You check off the supplies needed for Jin and all the vaccines the dog will need moving forward with clinical focus. It’s admirable how dedicated you are to your work, not caring if it went beyond the bounds of a traditional work-life balance.
And when you wave the teenager and her parents out the door and turn to him with a signature eye-roll, he can’t stop the way his skin heats. Your gaze in his direction screams: How long are you going to keep pestering me?
Forever, he says to himself with a hell of a lot of hope.
When you’re both alone in the shelter, one hour after you’re closed for the day, you sweep the floors in a huff. “I am telling you I do not need you to play matchmaker for me.”
“You keep saying that and yet I’m still here, love,” Soobin tuts, flipping through the magazine on top of your desk. He sits at the chair opposite from the receptionist counter so casually, feet crossed and casual despite his heart yearning to explain everything to you.
I’m here because I can’t take any more of your pain. Because someone deserves to know how special you are. Because I—
“I can find a date without your help. Beomgyu already took up that role a long time ago. He’s been pestering me about going out with his friend Heeseung for months. So there.” You stick your tongue out at him and continue sweeping.
Soobin chuckles to himself and flips to another page of the magazine, but he can’t deny how his focus remains on you, the center of his attention, for longer than he expected.
“Lee Heeseung, twenty-two. Works at the ramen shop downtown. Entirely incompatible with you. Just for your information.”
You stop sweeping and aim an accusatory eye at him. “And that’s not proprietary information how?”
“I’m not looking out for him. And that only took a couple of Google searches to figure out, love.”
By the time you lock up the store, Soobin is in the habit of checking the door behind you to make sure you didn’t miss the back door or forget to close the play-gate on the way out. Two weeks of observing your routine up close has given him incredible intel, and not just into your schedule.
“Let’s walk past downtown,” Soobin suggests, taking your hand and walking through a new pattern of alleyways and cobblestone paths.
You’re unsure why this route that adds another ten minutes to your walk is worth the trouble, but you take his advice, anyway. He’s your angel for a reason, after all.
“Soobin, unless you suddenly got a hankering for human food, we really should—“
You knock into someone’s shoulders hard; the impact sends you to the gravel. Soobin vanishes from view, his name on your tongue the second you recognize that you’re on the ground.
A pair of hands that aren’t Soobin’s, more calloused and robust, lift you up off the ground.
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have been standing so close to the alleyway.”
A beautiful pair of brown eyes gaze at yours, and it stops you dead in your tracks. The stranger’s brown hair falls over his face in a mess of free curls, some of them tinged with sweat. He wears a baking apron around his waist; flour and, you presume, icing cover his shirt.
You look at the building next to you, the pastel pink sign reading “Gyu’s Baked Goods” beaming over your head. And you turn back to the man in question, the baker himself as his hands keep you sturdy on your scraped feet.
“It’s totally fine. I’m the one who should be sorry. I mean, I wasn’t looking anyway and I—“
“No, you don’t have to apologize. This is what I get for taking a smoke break when I have cupcakes to make, right?” The baker chuckles and releases you. Your heart thumps at a rapid tempo when he holds his hand out to you. “I’m Mingyu. Sorry I’m built like a mountain.”
You chuckle and take his hand, the handshake gentle for the size of his palm. It reminds you of a sturdy fireplace, strong but tender. “Pleased to meet you. Apologies for having the build of a leaf.”
Soobin looks on with a knot in his stomach from an opposite alleyway. The process has begun, and he cannot halt its progress. No matter if he wants to be the one in the human male’s place.
Soobin watches on as Mingyu stands with you by the kennels, acid simmering on his tongue from watching the two of you in such a chummy position.
He clutches the novel in his hands with intense pressure, on the edge of ripping pages between his fingers. For the past week and a half, you and Mingyu have spent time together as new acquaintances, giving Sobbing time to read mortal literature.
He should be happy for you; his initial plan to find someone who fits your life and wishes so well is going perfectly. Yet why does he wish he could rewind time and take it back?
To your pleasure and Soobin’s secret dismay, Mingyu’s surprise gift of homemade mini animal treats made the day an amazing experience for all three of you.
You pay no mind to Soobin’s sudden and off-putting sulking as you show Mingyu around the animal shelter, your new friend interested in your job as much as you’re intrigued by him.
Beomgyu saunters up to Soobin with a bag of kibble in his hands, clicking his tongue. “It’s tough, isn’t it, man?”
Soobin huffs and looks at the younger man, the aura around your friend similar to his back home. If only Kai could see him now, grumbling and pouting like a kicked puppy.
“What is?”
“Seeing the girl you like with someone else. I mean, she’s pretty great so I get it.”
Soobin rolls his eyes and goes back to the novel in his hands to distract himself. His jaw ticks when he hears your laughter. The sound creates such a beautiful symphony to his ears, but it’s not reserved for him at the moment, and it makes his stomach turn. “You’re wrong.”
“Okay, dude. I get it. None of my business.” Beomgyu lifts the bag over his shoulder and starts walking, but looks back at Soobin with a smirk. “But maybe it might be mutual if you gave it a shot.”
Soobin scoffs at the kid, and then at himself for the split second he entertains the idiot’s idea. Soobin can pine all he wants, but he knows the boundaries. A multitude of reasons prevent this line from ever being crossed.
He may have incredibly powerful feelings for you, but they’re hidden away and unable to reach the light of day. Not just because he has a strategy for you and Mingyu, but he is not an acceptable suitor because he doesn’t belong here, simply put. Earth is only a temporary stay on his list. And when he goes back and reports to Yeonjun of his success, who knows what will happen?
All he knows is that your paths will cross only once in his and your lifetime, and never again.
Soobin almost remains stuck in his misery until you walk up to him with an orange icing-colored dog bone treat in your hands. You hold it out to him with a shy smile. “For you.”
He smirks, taking the snack from you and rotating it between his fingers. “Isn’t this for the dogs, love?”
And the signature eye roll comes, your bottom lip between your teeth as you do it. “They’re organic. Anyone can eat them.” You look back at him directly, suddenly concerned. “You can eat, right?”
He chuckles. Nodding his head, he looks back at the snack. “Just not sure if I’ll like it.”
You stick your tongue out at him. “Just try it, please?”
Reluctantly, he bites down. Sweet potatoes and carrots, harmoniously blended, flood his mouth. The icing and pinch of cinnamon provides the perfect level of sweetness to round it all out, and Soobin groans. Even the dog treats the guy makes are perfect.
“Okay, it’s pretty great,” Soobin admits, taking another bite. “Even if they’re meant for dogs.”
You laugh and take a tiny corner for yourself. “At least you can say you’ve eaten a dog bone.”
Soobin’s tender smile makes you blush, and it stirs up all the feelings you’ve suppressed when you’re not in his presence. Mingyu’s a welcome distraction from it all. His looks and personality are undeniably attractive, but you always circle back to the angel in your midst.
Who can blame you? He’s ethereal, his magnetism undeniable. But that warmth he’s had from the first day you met is why you can only stay away for so long. He’s a part of your world now, and you can’t imagine that changing in the foreseeable future.
He’s made his place on Earth with you, and you dread the day he has to go back to where he belongs.
The end of January brings the last time for branches to stay vacant of leaves. You notice the small sprouts of leaves amidst the brown limbs as you and Soobin walk back to your house. You bite back a smile, and Soobin comments on it.
It’s like he clenches your heart between his fingers as he says it. “You always hide your excitement like nobody should be watching. Like it’s wrong to be happy about the little things.”
You blush while strolling beside him. “It’s not that I’m hiding it. Maybe I just don’t think anyone will get why I’m happy about certain things.”
Soobin bumps you with his shoulder, a close-mouthed smile on his lips. “Try me.”
You exhale a breath to get your bearings. “Okay, so everyone is always excited about the start of the new year. But then it’s like the excitement dies down and we just go on our merry way until the next holiday comes up. It’s not in the days for me. It’s the environment that always makes me feel the shift, you know?
“Like with animals, almost. The energy is unique, and I feel it when I see the colors and feel the temperature fluctuate.” You shake your head and tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “That may sound stupid, but—“
Soobin stops you on the open sidewalk, taking your hand in his. He looks into your eyes earnestly, wanting you to take his words to heart before he says them. “Nothing you’ve ever said to me is stupid, love. Every thought you have is beautiful because it’s yours.”
Like the town greenery, something shifts inside of you then. Even on the rest of the walk home and the talk over dinner about the day at the shelter, you sense an unfamiliar emotion swirling in the air between you and Soobin. You can’t name it, but it reminds you of the first blooms of spring, brimming with promise.
The first week of February comes in a tidal wave. Many people flood the animal shelter looking for the perfect furry friend to complete their family on the cusp of Valentine’s Day.
All you can hope for is that a majority of them, or at least fifty percent, don’t come back to the shelter after the holiday is over to return the animals looking for forever homes.
That was the one thing that bugged you the most about this job: biting your tongue at the obvious lack of responsibility people put into owning pets.
It holds more weight than anyone knows, bringing another being in your home to tend to like a child. The only difference is that many of them have histories that deserve more care than normal, and some don’t want to put in the right amount of effort.
You sit on these thoughts as Soobin holds the newest cat to the shelter in his hands. “Have you thought of a name for Mr. Cat yet?” Soobin inspects the spot near the cat’s tail. “Or Missus?”
You giggle and grab the clipboard with the cat’s information on it. “He’s a he, Soob. You can come up with a name.”
He ponders the choices, before his smile grows and he presses his nose to the cat’s. “How about Hyuka?” He rubs the back of the cat’s ears tenderly.
You grin at Soobin and brush your fingers over Hyuka’s fur. “I think it’s a perfect fit.”
Soobin looks over at you with bright eyes, his expression transforming into one that feels like the one you held that day so long ago when he called your thoughts beautiful. A question forms on his tongue, but it flits away the second Mingyu walks through the double doors of the animal shelter with a bouquet of daisies.
At least the jerk knows your favorite flowers, Soobin thinks to himself as he walks with Hyuka back to his block in the back room.
You smile at Mingyu and thank him for the flowers, immediately pressing your nose to them to inhale their smell. “They’re amazing, thank you.”
“My buddy Wonwoo is a florist, so don’t thank me too much. I got a discount even though I should’ve paid full price.”
“Can’t beat a couple bucks off.” You set the bundle down on your desk and cross your arms over the countertop. “I take it you’re not just here to deliver flowers?”
Mingyu chuckles and presses a hand to his neck, his toned biceps stretching out his shirt. “Actually, I was going to ask if you had any plans for Valentine’s.”
You stumble on your explanation, discussing the closure of the shelter for the holiday. “Well,” Mingyu starts, “I was thinking you could come by for dinner. And I promise it won’t just be me making you taste test cupcakes again.”
You laugh, but the sound falls flat. You had always been the one pining, yearning for the boy you liked to like you back. Being on the other side of the coin was not exactly ideal. “Mingyu, you know I appreciate you and I am flattered, but…”
Soobin.
You’re unsure how to continue, but Mingyu holds a hand up in understanding. “I get it. How about I make you a meal, anyway? Consider it a friend treating a friend for all of her hard work.”
You blush and nod. “I’d like that very much.”
You’re washing dried-up wet food from the cat bowls when Soobin walks up to you, his face red. By the time Mingyu left, you expected Soobin to come back to your side so you could wash the dishes together. You did it yourself, seeing as he took forever to come back. Soobin asks with a tone of authority, “What the hell are you thinking?”
You poke your cheek with your tongue, contemplating. “I’m thinking Hyuka’s chances of getting adopted before Valentine’s is about—“
“You know that wasn’t what I meant, love.” He says the pet name with annoyance as he drops one bowl into the sink next to you. His tone catches you off guard, not expecting to see Soobin angry for the first time like this.
“You asked me what I was thinking, and I’m telling you.”
“Why did you say no to the date?” Soobin asks, his eyes blazing with fury. Something without a name sits below though, you can tell.
“I, technically, didn’t say no. It’s just more friendly than romantic.”
“Do you expect me to find you another soulmate like this?” Soobin drops another dirty plate in the sink for you to clean up. You don’t know if the question is exactly for you or for himself.
The tension sits thickly in the air, the running tap the only sound for a good minute or two. “I’m sure you’ll think of something,” you respond, hoping to ease the awkwardness.
Your cheekiness makes Soobin chuckle deeply. You missed his laugh, you realize, not hearing the sound in a while. Not since before Mingyu came around. “What am I gonna do with you, love?”
You shrug and go back to washing the bowls, hiding your smile behind soap suds and dishwater.
Soobin’s leg shakes as he sits on your couch, watching the clock on the spot above your door. 10:49 PM. He’s been waiting for hours to welcome you home from your “friendly” date with Mingyu. Admittedly, he’s been waiting since the second you left, the night of Valentine’s Day on the forefront of his brain since he heard the meathead ask you to have dinner.
Minho and Key keep him company, the older animals in your horde understanding and patient while Soobin mopes around. The angel feels as impatient as Bori can be when she has to wait for dinner.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Soobin says to Key, the chihuahua’s overbite hanging almost like a taunt. “I’m not stewing.”
He’s definitely stewing. The animals must be saying to each other, conspiring about what will occur when their mother finally gets home.
And on the cusp of eleven, you walk into the house and unbuckle your heels. You watch Soobin on the couch, his hands fidgeting on his lap. “Have you been sitting there for three hours?” You ask in a cute tone that drives Soobin nuts.
“No, I made the animals dinner.” You set your bag on the iron wrack where your coats lie, and throw your shoes in some corner of the living room before Soobin continues with, “So, how was the date?”
You stride to the mirror, beginning to unclasp the flashy studs in your ears. “It was fine. Nothing special. Just two friends having dinner.”
“That’s all it was? No candles at the table, no romantic music, nothing?”
“Why are you so concerned, Soobin? I went out, I had fun, now I’m home.” Soobin’s not prepared to hear your voice so clipped and direct. Your frustration is usually a mask of humor or concern. Not genuine anger, like right now. You don’t look at him directly, continuing to remove your jewelry as your ire grows.
You try to de-escalate the argument by retreating to the kitchen, but he only follows you there. And moving back into the living doesn’t help either. “Stop following me, Soobin!”
“Stop running away,” he barks back.
“I will when you stop making a big deal out of this.”
“It is a big deal,” he says with a scoff. “And am I not allowed to worry about you and who you’re with?” He asks with a bite that matches your irritation.
“Why are you so concerned if Mingyu’s the person you wanted to set me up with in the first place?”
“Don’t ask me that question,” he whispers. His jaw tightens and his hands clam up, but you don’t give in. If he wants to finish the discussion, then you’ll continue to press him for an answer.
“Why? What kind of ‘proprietary information’ relates to how you feel about this? What does me going out with Mingyu and you being a complete ass about it have anything to do with top-secret intel?”
“I love you, alright?!” He yells, standing stock still as his veins pulse in his head and neck. His hands go to the messy strands of his hair, almost like he feels himself going crazy at his own confession. “I did not mean to, and it’s awful. I can’t give you the life you deserve. Someone like Mingyu or any other human man would be lucky to have you, yet I can barely stomach the thought of someone else getting to touch you in all the ways I wish I could. And it’s driving me insane.”
The confession knocks something loose inside of you, remaining inhibitions be damned if it means now that the feelings Soobin harbors mirror your own without a doubt.
You step closer to him, the tension almost too much to bear any longer. You press your hands to his neck, and bring him closer until your lips are a mere inch apart. “Nothing and nobody’s stopping you, Soobin.”
He takes a deep breath to hold himself back, grounding himself so he doesn’t do something that will upend both of your worlds. “You don’t know that, love.”
You chuckle softly. “Maybe not, but I do know that I love you too.”
When you brush his mouth with your own, every being in the universe, heavenly or not, ceases to exist in your mind. It’s only you and Soobin in your own world. You want to kick yourself for taking so long to seize this moment, this kiss, with him. For all of the reasons Soobin supplies as to why it’s wrong for the two of you to be together, this could not feel more right.
Soobin only gives himself a second of separation from you to catch his breath before he dives back in for one, two, three more kisses. He moans eagerly into your mouth. He tugs on the fabric of your dress to occupy his hands, his body hungry for any contact he can get.
Heavens do be damned, if it means he can keep you between his arms and against his lips.
Your back hits the bed as Soobin attaches his lips to your neck. The dogs scratch at the locked door of your bedroom, but you know they’ll give up after another minute of waiting for a result that will never come. You have other priorities to tend to.
Soobin’s lips and teeth mark you up as he travels along your skin with his mouth. He removes your dress and his shirt so your skin is in closer contact, the feeling of his every present warmth lighting you from the inside out. Your undergarments are still in the way, but you know they’ll be discarded soon.
“You do not know how many days I wished for this,” he mumbles into the spot between your breasts, his kisses setting you on fire to the point you can barely tell where he’s going next. He unclasps the clips holding your bra together, your top half now bare for his eyes to witness.
He marvels at the fullness of your chest before he takes one of your nipples into his mouth. He licks at the skin as he suckles. The action pulls a moan from your lips, your body thrusting up at nothing but open air.
“You can touch me in other ways, Soobin,” you gasp, taking his hand in yours and intertwining your fingers.
He blushes a deep crimson, releasing your nipple from his lips. “I don’t know how,” he admits.
You take his hand to guide lower to the top of your underwear, urging him to slip his hand inside. He does so, immediately finding the wetness of your folds against his fingertips. “You can move them around—just like that.”
He takes your advice and expertly finds your clit to take between his thumb and index finger. Your hips buck up into his touch, and he smirks against your lips. He asks, “Is this what you like?”
“Yes, please.” He takes your underwear off to freely glide his fingers in and out of you, three of the digits simultaneously filling you but leaving you aching for more. “Please, Soobin, please,” you beg.
“What do you want, my love? Don’t hold back.”
“I want you inside of me,” you confess. He listens to your request without question. Unbuckling his pants, his cock springs free to make your eyes linger to the bottom half of his body. You don’t guess for long what it feels like, as he immediately sinks into you to make your eyelids flutter.
“Holy shit,” you exclaim, pressing your hands to his lower back, pushing him in deeper until he’s filling you to the hilt.
“You feel amazing.” Soobin says the words against your lips as he thrusts for the first time. He pulls completely before slipping back in, groaning the entire way.
While you appreciate the slow movement of his body against yours, not too eager to rush the experience, you cling to him with eager fingers, hoping the message will come across. “Soobin, go faster.”
You’ve only ever been with two other men in your life, two lackluster experiences in college you wished to forget. All the time between now was just a waiting game, you only willing to go the distance when you felt it was with the right person. And it seems like all the failures in your history have led you to this perfect blip in time.
Like Soobin can read your mind, he slows down just enough so he can whisper to you, “It’s always been you. It’s only ever been you.”
You can’t help the tear that forms in your eye, but it’s quickly kissed away with Soobin’s lips on your cheek and, subsequently, your mouth.
“I’m gonna come, Soobin. Please don’t stop.” His hips work faster, his thumb pressing down and rubbing your clit harder, and you can barely feel your body before it lights up in every area.
Your toes curl, your mouth slacks, and your soul explodes as the pleasure overtakes you. You feel empty yet so full from the endorphins released from your orgasm.
Soobin continues to move his hips against yours. His pace stutters, signaling his own release. He captures his lips with yours as he spills inside of you, your body his to claim completely. Nobody has ever had you in this way—emotionally, mentally, physically.
When you tell Soobin “I love you,” you mean it in every facet of reality, your soul intimately linked with his otherworldly one.
“I love you too, my love.” He smiles like a bashful child, taking you into his arms and pulling you closer as the night continues on outside. When you again, bodies intertwined between your sheets, all that you wish for now is for the moment to last forever.
And when you fall asleep that night in his arms a few hours later, you pray to every god you can name that it never ends.
The expectation of waking up to the warmth of Soobin’s arms and kisses dies when you feel his empty side of the bed. You search the entire house , your dogs padding behind you as you search every corner for him.
To your terror and slowly breaking heart, he remains to be seen. Soobin is gone like he was never there to begin with, your house flooding with a chill that hits you to the core.
You crawl back into bed, naked and alone, tears streaming down your face. The only time you rise is to let the animals eat and use the bathroom. For the rest of the day, you remain in bed like a phantom. Half out of your body, half inside of it to feel every ounce of pain. Each shred of sadness reminds you that you still exist, and the man—angel—that you love is gone.
Yeonjun has his head in his hand when another pair of associates throw Soobin in front of his desk. Soobin put up an intense fight in the resulting scuffle to bring him back to the office above Earth, but he doesn’t regret it. The only thing he regrets is not leaving you with some sort of explanation, even something as little as a minute to tell you he loves you.
“When I approved your descent, I expected you to help your assignment. Not sleep with her.” Yeonjun sighs and reads over the paperwork at his desk. “The guys above me are gonna love this.”
“Jun, please.” Soobin falls down on his scraped knees and raises his hands in a prayer. “Let me just tell her—”
“What else is there to explain? You’ve clearly done enough.”
“I’m begging you—”
“You think I’m going to let you spend another second with her and make me look like an idiot? No.” He slams his hand on the desk. “If you’re lucky, Soobin, all the archangels will do is send you to the second circle of Hell. I’m surprised they’re not reprimanding me as your superior. You broke our greatest oath.”
Do not consort with humans, Soobin reminds himself as tears stream down his face. “I love her, Yeonjun. And you know she loves me. Didn’t I do my job? I found her a soulmate, just like she wished for.”
Yeonjun shakes his head with a sad smirk. “Don’t think you can get around our rules this time, Soobin. I just called you here to tell you the council will see you in the morning. Be grateful they’re giving you a chance to explain yourself.”
The angels that brought Soobin in drag him away to the lower cells of the building. As he’s pushed and pulled through dark hallways, Soobin has barely enough time to come up with a plan to fix what he’s ruined. Barely.
Your dream is almost the same as the one you envisioned months ago, the dark cavern welcoming you like an old friend. The fog of your transition from sleep to dreaming still pervades your senses. You barely have time to make out the details before Soobin has you wrapped in his arms, holding you so tightly that you feel the air knocked out of your lungs. “Thank God it worked.”
You sob immediately when you recognize Soobin’s voice and his arms around you. It’s like a magnet the way you gravitate to one another, not worrying if the dream will last a second or into eternity. You can barely remember the pain of being without him now that he’s in front of you.
You call his name as he kisses the crown of your hair. He backs you into the desk at the far end of the room, lifting you up by the legs to sit on its marble top. He trails his lips down until they meet your own, and he says so tenderly, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there when you woke up.”
Breaking into a fit of sad laughter, you run your hands through the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m just happy you’re here with me now.” You kiss him again and again, until your lips feel bruised and sore.
Soobin sheds a tear and looks back into the night outside of his office door. “I don’t have long. They’ll bring me back to my cell soon. But I wanted to tell you I love you. And I’ll come back as soon as I can.”
“W-Why are you being punished? You did what you were s-supposed to,” you stutter, a mournful knot building in your throat.
“I fell in love with a human when I shouldn’t have,” he answers, another tear welling in his eye. “But it was worth every rule I broke. How could I regret finding my best friend?” Soobin smiles despite the pain that you two share.
You hiccup into his neck. “When will I see you again?”
“I-I don't know. But I’ll fix this,” he assures you, a steadfast determination in his expression.
“You don’t know that for sure, though,” you cry, heart ripping deeper at the seams with each word.
“I don’t, but for now, know that I love you. I love you more than my existence allows.” He kisses you one more time as the edges of your dream blur. “It’s only for now, I promise.”
When you wake tangled in the comforter on your bed, the morning sky bleeding through your window, you begin the torture of waiting for the person you love most in the world to come back to you.
TWO MONTHS LATER
For the past seven Fridays since Soobin left, you’ve stayed in and waited for the phone to ring or the doorbell to sound, any way to signify that he hasn’t broken his promise. You don’t bother going into work, trying to find any excuse to stay in the house.
Beomgyu tries to get you out, go on dates, avoid the aching hole in your chest, but he doesn’t understand. None of your friends do. They think he’s left without an explanation like another random asshole would, but they don’t understand how wrong they are.
They’ll never understand you’re waiting for the one who took your heart between his hands and still holds it to this day, even if you can’t see him for now.
For now. The words play in your mind on a loop, the sound of Soobin’s voice as vivid as the day he said them between kisses in your dream. It’s only for now, I promise.
This Friday, you take his words to heart and decide to go out. You walk Key and Bori, the morning sun turning into an afternoon sky clear of clouds. The warmer weather signals winter is giving way to spring, although you can still feel the chill in your bones.
When you bring the dogs back home, you’re still too restless to stay inside, too many memories in the house haunting you with Soobin’s presence.
You walk around the town streets, the memories of those you love the most filling your heart with a solemn nostalgia that edges out the parts of you that are still miserable. You and Beomgyu learning to ride bikes around the animal shelter. Your parents treating you to your first scoop of mint chocolate ice cream after you won gold at your spelling contest. The kiss you shared with Soobin in your living room, and all the kisses that followed.
Each one contains longing for the past, yet offers some hope for making fresh memories in the same spots. And even locations you haven’t discovered yet.
By the second trip around the blocks you know too well, nighttime rears its head. The city lights mark the street names and numbers with a yellow glow, the heavens above pitch black.
Your legs are sluggish, ankles sore from continuing through the world around you without stopping for rest, but no physical excursion compared to the mental expedition you’ve been on today, a microcosm for all of your tangled emotions for the past two months.
You almost give into the demands of your body when you hear the faintest sound of your name behind you. Turning on shaking limbs, you see the perfect contours and edges of the man you love in crystal clarity. His shoulders heave as his face remains wet with tears, his body on the verge of convulsing from the travel back to you.
Although every muscle strains and screams inside of you, you run towards him with all of your might and crash into his arms. The water on your cheeks mixes with his when your skin touches. He kisses each tear before he reaches your lips, his mouth tasting of salt and peppermint.
“I’m here. I’m here, my love.” He strokes your hair with his hand and runs the other across your back.
“I didn’t get to say I love you too, last time I saw you,” you say, the words tumbling over one another as you try getting them about. You’re crying and mumbling and it all feels incoherent, but you know every sound you emit is true.
Soobin chuckles, and you’re reminded how beautiful the sound of his laughter is. “You never had to say it back, my love. I already knew.”
Your heartbeat is erratic, but it doesn’t distract you from the fact Soobin’s heart seems to beat as well. A strong, even-tempered rhythm, one you’ve never heard before. You look him deep in the eyes, needing to hear the words on his lips. “Are you—“
His voice is still hoarse and tattered, but his smile is like the salve to all of your wounds. “I told you I would come back to you.”
You whimper, another tear escaping from your eyes. “You gave up everything for me? Your immortality, your friends, your—”
He presses a finger to your lips before running it over your cheek, his expression soft. “I completed my mission. And my everything is right here with me.”
You kiss his lips, all the I love you’s not enough to encapsulate every feeling and gift Soobin’s given you since he came into your life. You both may be on Earth, one old and one new human soul linked as one, but you know this is what it means to be higher than even the immensity of heaven.
@yvnempire @sjylouvre @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss @pars-ley @lovetaroandtaemin @wonwovy @biteyoubiteme @jjunbug
𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ౨ৎ˚₊
@kstrucknet @k-films @kvanity-main @lapydiaries @moadiarynet @sweetvenomnet @onedoornet @sayxonet @violetanet @svthub @whipped-kpop-creators
⟡ MY JEWEL ( 휴닝카이 )
genre royalty au , forbidden romance , fluff , servant!fem!reader x prince!kai cw not proofread wc 787 request @jihyokat for kai + gleaming gemstones for the 3k event note this fic being the first event one kinda broke my writers block id say??? it's been a while since i've even touched my google docs and written a sentence, but this was super fun to write and these tropes are always some of my favs to work with hehe. i hope you enjoy lexi!! net @kstrucknet @moadiarynet
You were no princess. Growing up in poverty, you were always detached from high society and royalty. Riches, luxury, exquisite food and elegant clothing— all were foreign to you. But it changed when you were hired by the royal palace as a maid and ran into Kai almost immediately by accident.
Being so unused to the winding hallways of the castle that seemed to never end, you quite easily got lost on your first day at the job. What was supposed to be a simple task of delivering a basket of fresh fruit to the kitchens turned into a 30 minute tour of random halls on probably the opposite side of the palace. How else would you have ended up in the prince’s quarters?
Despite your rocky start, you seemed to have extraordinary luck that day, running into the prince himself who found the whole ordeal quite amusing (and you, quite adorable). Prince Kai kindly offered to show you the way to the kitchens, and anywhere else in the palace until you memorized the routes yourself. And you, eager to not endure the same embarrassment again, took him up on it.
Not a single thought crossed your mind on how inappropriate such a thing might be, talking and walking casually with royalty so soon. Kai didn’t seem to mind, and you didn’t begin to question it until much, much later. Six months to be exact. After that first meeting, you had gotten quite close with the young prince. It was only when you started to feel strange fluttery feelings whenever you were around him that you realized just how bad the situation was.
You were staff. Kai was legions ahead of you in status. Not even taking into consideration the opinion of the public, just by maintaining a relationship with him, you were certainly breaking basic code of conduct. There was no future with him to be seen, whether as a friend or lover. So, you decided it would be best to cut it off before it became more painful.
Unfortunately, you were already in too deep. So was Kai.
“It’s a gift,” Kai explained quietly. “For you,” he added as clarification, as if it wasn’t already obvious. It shouldn’t have been, given the circumstances.
It was late in the night and Kai had summoned you to his chambers. Privately, of course. He knew the repercussions you might face if people found out, and he was mindful of that. You were grateful for his precautions, although in the back of your mind you were on edge by all of it. How beautiful Kai looked, moonlight shining across his face. The delicate silver necklace with a shining precious sapphire set in the middle of it resting in the palm of his hand. The way your heart was thumping in your chest, the urge to fall into his arms getting stronger by the second.
How much you loved him was dangerously growing each day. Your mind reminded you of how little hope there was to be with him, but your heart did not care. You were sane away from him, but as soon as he was in front of you, no thought or reason reached you. Your heart behaved autonomously, and Kai directed every decision it made.
“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, truly mesmerised at the sight of the gem. It almost glowed with its clarity, and you could see the light of the moon reflected off of its polished edges. Kai moved closer, wrapping the chain loosely around your neck. He carefully fastened it, securing the precious stone to its rightful place: decorating your neck.
“There. Just as I thought. You look stunning, Y/n,” he said earnestly, taking a hold of your hands. The warmth of his palms made your heart jump, and his words gave you feeble hope.
“I love you.”
You had said it before, and you decided you would say it again. A million times over if you could. No matter how wrong. No matter how forbidden, or unheard of. You were uttering those words to the prince of the nation. You. No one else. And that gave you a sense of belonging that only Kai could bring out of you.
As long as he trusted your place by his side, why should you let the arbitrary rules of the world tell you otherwise? He was the only thing that mattered, and you would only take his thoughts into consideration.
For once, you fully accepted the flurry of feelings; the connection between you and Kai that was so unexpected but felt so right. Your hearts beating in sync, fully devoted to one another.
He was your jewel, and he shined his brightest only for you.
txt taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @kangtaehyunzzz,, @eternalgyu,, @90steele,, @ddeonudepressions,, @cham3li,,
@wolfmoonmusic,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @candewlsy,, @blossominghunnie,,
@amara-mars,, @wccycc,, @seunghancore,, @ujisworld,, @sobun1est,,
@bananabubble,, @talkingsaxy,, @sxmmerberries,, @talking-saxy,, @nicholasluvbot,,
@cupidslovearrows,, @50-husbands,, @hursheys,, @stannwjnss,, @gong-fourz,,
@nonononranghaee,, @forever-atiny,, @stantxtforabetterlife,, @loserlvrss,, @lexeees
𝐭𝐱𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬 〰 𝒾
ʚɞ pairing: choi soobin x fem!reader || ʚɞ word count: 0.4k || ʚɞ tags: pregnant!reader, marriage!au, terrified expecting father!soobin || ʚɞ synopsis: A routine checkup with your OB turns to be more than what you or your husband expected in the best way.
"Stop squirming, Binnie, you're making me nervous." You tap your fingers on your rounded stomach. You listen closely to the noise outside your exam room door, waiting for the impending footfall of your OB. Heavy into the second trimester, you've quelled most of your fears regarding pregnancy.
Soobin is always on the defensive for you and your child, however, even when he doesn't need to be.
"Can you blame me? I mean—it's the five-month checkup. It's reasonable to freak out about this." Your husband ruffles his hair for the umpteenth time, pacing around the room like a madman.
You lift your heavy form to waddle over to him, making him stop dead in his tracks. "Hey, you should be sitting down," he softly advises.
"I will once you do," you tease. You take him by the hand to rest back on the couch in the small space.
"Well, I'm not in your condition, bunny." He takes his hand and touches the lower bend of your stomach, your sundress ruffling under his touch. "And lil' bun needs you healthy."
You smile and place your fingers over his. "I'm perfectly fine. You're the one who's still nervous, baby."
Before Soobin can protest, your doctor walks in with a warm smile and her clipboard between her hands. "Everything looks perfect, you two. The little one is growing exactly how they should. But just to be sure, here's the tests' results."
You both look over the papers, and Soobin's eyes go wide immediately at the text near the bottom of the second document. "The baby's sex? You guys can tell that by now and—and it's—"
Your doctor chuckles and looks at Soobin softly. "Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Choi. Looks like you're having a baby girl."
You heart stops at her confirmation. Your hands immediately cradle your bump as tears flow rapidly down your cheeks. Soobin's reaction mirrors yours, his eyes suddenly red and puffy.
Your doctor, sensing the emotional moment, quietly excuses herself to schedule the next checkup date. When she leaves the room, you both wrap your arms around each other and cry.
A little girl.
"Our little girl," Soobin whispers, voice hoarse as his words rumble into your neck. He kisses you all over your face, each one laced with profound emotion. "Thank you, thank you for giving me this little girl."
You giggle through your tears. "She's not here yet, Binnie."
Soobin smiles, his tears slipping past his lips. "She will be soon. And she'll be beautiful, just like you."
@yvnempire @hursheys @slytherinshua @sjylouvre @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss @pars-ley @lovetaroandtaemin @wonwovy @lovetaroandtaemin
𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ౨ৎ˚₊
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beam me up —⋆˚࿔ 𝚌𝚜𝚋
SFW version of my fic posted here on @heechwe .ᐟ ୨୧ pairing: choi soobin x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 1.9k ୨୧ genre: lots of fluff, smidges of comedy ୨୧ tags: parents!au, married!au, established relationship!au, pet names (love, bunny, baby, etc), down bad soobin essentially. ୨୧ synopsis: Going out after having a baby should be a breeze. So what if you don't feel incredibly confident? So what if you both act like awkward teenagers on your first date? It's you and Soobin, and that's all that matters. ➸ bless my pals @lovetaroandtaemin, @xomakara, and @heesuncore for reading this behemoth ilysm
Why am I so nervous? You think to yourself as you swipe the mauve shade in your hand across your bottom lip. Its light pigment prevents staining, yet provides noticeable definition, just enough to stand out. Your hair is in a low bun, two stray bangs falling over your cheeks. With your makeup and floral midi dress, you feel confident enough to step out and leave the house without becoming riddled with anxious thoughts.
The demands of motherhood have been hefty, but you clean up well. And despite all the dirty diapers and staying awake pumping, you’re ready to spend one night simply as Soobin’s wife. Perhaps a night out in town with your husband is exactly what you both need after three months of being parents.
It’s been picture perfect, without question. Minyoung has her father‘s pout when she sleeps, your long eyelashes, and the softness of a human being well beyond her years. But, you can’t deny that you miss the days where it was just you and Soobin in your own bubble.
Perhaps tonight, you can discover a balance where your old and new life blend harmoniously.
You step out into the living room to see Soobin with his mother, your daughter asleep in her grandmother’s arms. Soobin holds a laundry list of instructions in one hand and her car-seat in the other, waving his hands in frantic motions. “She usually naps like this for about two hours, but if she sleeps more, that’s even better. And then—“
Soobin stops short and looks back at you when he senses your presence. Your in-law and husband stare at you in disbelief. The frayed edges of your appearance from a few hours ago are nowhere to be seen.
Soobin looks at you like you hang the moon. His smile is small in the presence of his mother, him trying to maintain some semblance of modesty, but it’s electric. “You look beautiful.” He sets the car-seat down on the floor to free his hand, reaching it out for you to take.
You do it gladly, smiling from ear to ear. Soobin also cleans up well, his button up tucked in his cargo pants. He’s always dressed a bit like a dad in training, and now he fits the bill. “You don’t look too bad yourself, Binnie.”
His face turns a shade of pink at the nickname, unable to hide your effect on him. He turns back to his mother and refers to the paper in his hand. “If you need something that isn’t in her diaper bag, please—“
“Soobin, I can handle it. Just spend the night with your lovely wife.” His mother winks at you and takes the car seat from him. “I promise to bring her back in the morning in one piece.”
You and Soobin kiss the top of Minyoung’s soft head and say your goodbyes, both of your hearts clenching. It’s the first time you’ve been apart from her for more than an hour or two, so the prospect is daunting, at the very least. “Be good for grandma, lil’ bun,” Soobin whispers to her sleeping figure.
When your mother-in-law leaves, Soobin looks back at you with a mixture of excitement, anxiety, and desire. “Ready to go?”
You nod, sharing the same concoction of emotions. Most importantly, though, you’re relieved to finally have some alone time together. Wherever the night takes you is anyone’s guess. “Definitely.”
You both sit at the table in the restaurant like it’s your first date. Uncertain about what to expect once the meal ends, full of nerves and anticipation.
Soobin finds it hard to make eye contact with you, his eyes moving across the entire room. He can’t help it when you look so beautiful. You always do, but tonight is different. He’s been so stuck in the haze of being a new dad, it’s like he’s seeing you clearly again. Now, he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
You’ve been married for half a decade, yet every time he sees you, he falls deeper. It’s the first time for him every second he gets to touch you, kiss you, tell you how much you matter to him.
With a child, his feelings have only amplified. He looks at Minyoung some mornings and sees all the features he loves about you and vice versa in one human, his pride as great as his love.
But, instead of revealing he’s in the throes of intense admiration for you in the small Italian restaurant, he turns his focus back to the menu in his hands and looks over the wine list.
The appetizer you shared a few minutes ago has made him thirsty for some alcohol, it seems. “I know you have water, but do you want some Pinot, too? Oh! They have Moscato! I know that’s your favorite.”
It’s the way his eyes light up and his mouth curves into that signature O that makes you giggle, unable to contain it.
“What’s so funny?” Soobin looks up from his menu with mirth.
“Nothing at all, Binnie. I’m just happy.”
Your chest pinches at his soft reaction to your words, him looking over his menu at you with bright eyes.
Soobin has always been a goofball, intentionally or not, but it’s what makes him the best partner, among his many qualities. He knows when to be serious, taking the reins when necessary, but he’s well-versed in lightening the mood when you need it.
It’s surreal sometimes thinking about how you lucked out.
Suddenly, your thoughts cease thanks to the rising discomfort from your breasts. It started as an unnoticeable pinch when you gave your drink and light food order, but now it’s full-on pain erupting in your chest.
Why is it so uncomfortable?
You feel the droplets of milk settling into the fabric of your dress, your question answered in a flash.
The impending concern rises on Soobin’s face when he notices your scrunched-up brows and mouth. Then, he sees the two small wet patches forming on your chest. Immediately, he shucks off his jean jacket to give you. “Here baby, take this.”
A deep blush forms on your cheeks when you cover up with his garment. You’re unsure how to broach the subject or the rest of dinner in this state, immediately self-conscious. “I’m sorry. This is so embarrassing, I—”
“Baby, no. Don’t be sorry, it’s normal.” Soobin says the words with so much empathy, you could cry from that alone. You excuse yourself to use the bathroom and clean yourself up, not listening to the words that leave his lips in rapid succession. You’re a mom. It happens to every mom at some point! I love you!
Soobin feels useless, knowing no words he says will assuage your shame. He decides now is as good of a time as any to check up on Minyoung. It’s been almost three hours since he’s talked to his mother.
When the line rings, Soobin doesn’t let it bother him. Minyoung probably needed a burping or night-time bath. No big deal.
By the second unsuccessful attempt at contact, his heart drops into his stomach. What if something’s wrong? As he tries to call for the third and fourth time, his thoughts spiral further.
What if his mother rushed out with Minyoung and she forgot to bring her cell because it was so serious? He knows babies usually are out of the woods for colic by the third or fourth month, but anything’s possible, right?
Parental anxiety is one thing, a feeling Soobin knows well by now, but his instincts are usually spot-on. And something has to be going on if his mother isn’t getting back to him.
You trot over to the table, tucking Soobin’s jacket tighter around your chest so it doesn’t flap open. The event may have been embarrassing at the moment, but you’re ready to get the night back on track and focus on your husband.
You smile eagerly, not noticing the way Soobin’s face has gone stark white. “I think I got most of it, but—“
“We have to go. Something’s wrong.”
You don’t think twice, practically stealing Soobin’s keys from his pocket when he stands up. The two of you race out of the restaurant and to your little girl, your thoughts newly scrambled in the worst ways.
Soobin tries to knock on his parents’ door without slamming his fist against the wood, but he can’t help it. So many scenarios have built up in his head since his intuition kicked in. He could barely say one word on the drive to his mother’s. The silence was palpable in the air, both of your bodies filled to the brim with fear and regret for leaving her for one second.
Soobin’s mother answers the door with a shocked expression. “Honey, what are you two—“
Soobin barrels past her and into the house. You follow hot on his heels. His pace is quick, his voice loud as he calls out Minyoung’s name like she’s able to answer him back.
Then, you find Minyoung perfectly content. Soobin’s dad has her in his arms at the dinner table, feeding her a bottle of milk. “Hey, kids. Why are you here?”
Soobin stutters when he responds. “M-Mom wasn’t answering and we—“
“Oh, lord.” You hear her deep groan pervade the small kitchen. “You left the restaurant for that?”
“What were we supposed to think?” Your words are full of defense, lighthearted now that you’re not in panic mode. Were your worst thoughts so unexpected? You felt bad enough leaving your daughter alone with people you trusted just for a night of solitude. If something worse had happened, the guilt would’ve been too much to bear.
Soobin rushes over to Minyoung and takes her from his father’s arms. Droplets of milk spill from her lips, but she doesn’t care. She reaches up to touch Soobin, her little nails gliding across his face. “Daddy’s here, Minnie.” He presses his forehead to hers, smiling proudly. “I’m right here.”
You tear up at the image in front of you, relieved to see your baby girl out of harm’s way. Even if the harm was entirely imaginary, you’re calmer nonetheless.
Soobin walks towards you and kisses the crown of your head. “Sorry I pulled a false alarm, baby.”
Although you’ll never tell him, you don’t mind that he did so. He’s an incredible husband and father, always on alert for the two of you and putting his needs to the wayside. You have to remind him every day to also think of himself, and he appreciates you looking out for him in the same fashion.
You shake your head and move Minyoung from Soobin’s arms to yours. You kiss her chubby cheeks and she coos at the attention, the spitting image of her father. “Daddy is gonna be the death of me, isn’t he, baby girl?”
Soobin chuckles into your hair and holds onto one of Minyoung’s fists with his palm. “Not if I can help it.”
“Now that you both have made sure she’s okay, go back to your date night!” Your mother-in-law strides into the dining room to pluck Minyoung from your grip. Minyoung is more than comfortable with it, smiling widely into her grandmother’s neck. “It’s rude enough that you both interrupted your dinner time and ours.” She turns to speak directly to Minyoung. “Right, sweetie? How dare they!”
You share another laugh with Soobin, tucking your face into his neck. Parenthood may not be the breeziest role, but with Soobin at your side, you believe with all of your heart that it’s one of the best adventures you’ll ever go on together.
@yvnempire @sjylouvre @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss @pars-ley @lovetaroandtaemin @wonwovy
𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ౨ৎ˚₊
@kstrucknet @k-films @kvanity-main @moadiarynet @sweetvenomnet @onedoornet @lapydiaries @sayxonet @violetanet @svthub @whipped-kpop-creators
beam me up | 𝐜𝐬𝐛
୨୧ pairing: choi soobin x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 3.5k ୨୧ genre: lots of fluff, smidges of comedy, smut ୨୧ tags: parents!au, married!au, established relationship!au, body (mostly chest) worship, pet names (love, bunny, baby, etc), oral (f receiving), fingering, breeding kink, lactation kink, unprotected sex, down bad soobin essentially. ୨୧ synopsis: Going out after having a baby should be a breeze. So what if you don't feel incredibly confident? So what if you both act like awkward teenagers on your first date? It's you and Soobin, and that's all that matters. ➸ bless my pals @lovetaroandtaemin, @xomakara, and @heesuncore for reading this behemoth ilysm
Why am I so nervous? You think to yourself as you swipe the mauve shade in your hand across your bottom lip. Its light pigment prevents staining, yet provides noticeable definition, just enough to stand out. Your hair is in a low bun, two stray bangs falling over your cheeks. With your makeup and floral midi dress, you feel confident enough to step out and leave the house without becoming riddled with anxious thoughts.
The demands of motherhood have been hefty, but you clean up well. And despite all the dirty diapers and staying awake pumping, you’re ready to spend one night simply as Soobin’s wife. Perhaps a night out in town with your husband is exactly what you both need after three months of being parents.
It’s been picture perfect, without question. Minyoung has her father‘s pout when she sleeps, your long eyelashes, and the softness of a human being well beyond her years. But, you can’t deny that you miss the days where it was just you and Soobin in your own bubble.
Perhaps tonight, you can discover a balance where your old and new life blend harmoniously.
You step out into the living room to see Soobin with his mother, your daughter asleep in her grandmother’s arms. Soobin holds a laundry list of instructions in one hand and her car-seat in the other, waving his hands in frantic motions. “She usually naps like this for about two hours, but if she sleeps more, that’s even better. And then—“
Soobin stops short and looks back at you when he senses your presence. Your in-law and husband stare at you in disbelief. The frayed edges of your appearance from a few hours ago are nowhere to be seen.
Soobin looks at you like you hang the moon. His smile is small in the presence of his mother, him trying to maintain some semblance of modesty, but it’s electric. “You look beautiful.” He sets the car-seat down on the floor to free his hand, reaching it out for you to take.
You do it gladly, smiling from ear to ear. Soobin also cleans up well, his button up tucked in his cargo pants. He’s always dressed a bit like a dad in training, and now he fits the bill. “You don’t look too bad yourself, Binnie.”
His face turns a shade of pink at the nickname, unable to hide your effect on him. He turns back to his mother and refers to the paper in his hand. “If you need something that isn’t in her diaper bag, please—“
“Soobin, I can handle it. Just spend the night with your lovely wife.” His mother winks at you and takes the car seat from him. “I promise to bring her back in the morning in one piece.”
You and Soobin kiss the top of Minyoung’s soft head and say your goodbyes, both of your hearts clenching. It’s the first time you’ve been apart from her for more than an hour or two, so the prospect is daunting, at the very least. “Be good for grandma, lil’ bun,” Soobin whispers to her sleeping figure.
When your mother-in-law leaves, Soobin looks back at you with a mixture of excitement, anxiety, and desire. “Ready to go?”
You nod, sharing the same concoction of emotions. Most importantly, though, you’re relieved to finally have some alone time together. Wherever the night takes you is anyone’s guess. “Definitely.”
You both sit at the table in the restaurant like it’s your first date. Uncertain about what to expect once the meal ends, full of nerves and anticipation.
Soobin finds it hard to make eye contact with you, his eyes moving across the entire room. He can’t help it when you look so beautiful. You always do, but tonight is different. He’s been so stuck in the haze of being a new dad, it’s like he’s seeing you clearly again. Now, he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
You’ve been married for half a decade, yet every time he sees you, he falls deeper. It’s the first time for him every second he gets to touch you, kiss you, tell you how much you matter to him.
With a child, his feelings have only amplified. He looks at Minyoung some mornings and sees all the features he loves about you and vice versa in one human, his pride as great as his love.
But, instead of revealing he’s in the throes of intense admiration for you in the small Italian restaurant, he turns his focus back to the menu in his hands and looks over the wine list.
The appetizer you shared a few minutes ago has made him thirsty for some alcohol, it seems. “I know you have water, but do you want some Pinot, too? Oh! They have Moscato! I know that’s your favorite.”
It’s the way his eyes light up and his mouth curves into that signature O that makes you giggle, unable to contain it.
“What’s so funny?” Soobin looks up from his menu with mirth.
“Nothing at all, Binnie. I’m just happy.”
Your chest pinches at his soft reaction to your words, him looking over his menu at you with bright eyes.
Soobin has always been a goofball, intentionally or not, but it’s what makes him the best partner, among his many qualities. He knows when to be serious, taking the reins when necessary, but he’s well-versed in lightening the mood when you need it.
It’s surreal sometimes thinking about how you lucked out.
Suddenly, your thoughts cease thanks to the rising discomfort from your breasts. It started as an unnoticeable pinch when you gave your drink and light food order, but now it’s full-on pain erupting in your chest.
Why is it so uncomfortable?
You feel the droplets of milk settling into the fabric of your dress, your question answered in a flash.
The impending concern rises on Soobin’s face when he notices your scrunched-up brows and mouth. Then, he sees the two small wet patches forming on your chest. Immediately, he shucks off his jean jacket to give you. “Here baby, take this.”
A deep blush forms on your cheeks when you cover up with his garment. You’re unsure how to broach the subject or the rest of dinner in this state, immediately self-conscious. “I’m sorry. This is so embarrassing, I—”
“Baby, no. Don’t be sorry, it’s normal.” Soobin says the words with so much empathy, you could cry from that alone. You excuse yourself to use the bathroom and clean yourself up, not listening to the words that leave his lips in rapid succession. You’re a mom. It happens to every mom at some point! I love you!
Soobin feels useless, knowing no words he says will assuage your shame. He decides now is as good of a time as any to check up on Minyoung. It’s been almost three hours since he’s talked to his mother.
When the line rings, Soobin doesn’t let it bother him. Minyoung probably needed a burping or night-time bath. No big deal.
By the second unsuccessful attempt at contact, his heart drops into his stomach. What if something’s wrong? As he tries to call for the third and fourth time, his thoughts spiral further.
What if his mother rushed out with Minyoung and she forgot to bring her cell because it was so serious? He knows babies usually are out of the woods for colic by the third or fourth month, but anything’s possible, right?
Parental anxiety is one thing, a feeling Soobin knows well by now, but his instincts are usually spot-on. And something has to be going on if his mother isn’t getting back to him.
You trot over to the table, tucking Soobin’s jacket tighter around your chest so it doesn’t flap open. The event may have been embarrassing at the moment, but you’re ready to get the night back on track and focus on your husband.
You smile eagerly, not noticing the way Soobin’s face has gone stark white. “I think I got most of it, but—“
“We have to go. Something’s wrong.”
You don’t think twice, practically stealing Soobin’s keys from his pocket when he stands up. The two of you race out of the restaurant and to your little girl, your thoughts newly scrambled in the worst ways.
Soobin tries to knock on his parents’ door without slamming his fist against the wood, but he can’t help it. So many scenarios have built up in his head since his intuition kicked in. He could barely say one word on the drive to his mother’s. The silence was palpable in the air, both of your bodies filled to the brim with fear and regret for leaving her for one second.
Soobin’s mother answers the door with a shocked expression. “Honey, what are you two—“
Soobin barrels past her and into the house. You follow hot on his heels. His pace is quick, his voice loud as he calls out Minyoung’s name like she’s able to answer him back.
Then, you find Minyoung perfectly content. Soobin’s dad has her in his arms at the dinner table, feeding her a bottle of milk. “Hey, kids. Why are you here?”
Soobin stutters when he responds. “M-Mom wasn’t answering and we—“
“Oh, lord.” You hear her deep groan pervade the small kitchen. “You left the restaurant for that?”
“What were we supposed to think?” Your words are full of defense, lighthearted now that you’re not in panic mode. Were your worst thoughts so unexpected? You felt bad enough leaving your daughter alone with people you trusted just for a night of solitude. If something worse had happened, the guilt would’ve been too much to bear.
Soobin rushes over to Minyoung and takes her from his father’s arms. Droplets of milk spill from her lips, but she doesn’t care. She reaches up to touch Soobin, her little nails gliding across his face. “Daddy’s here, Minnie.” He presses his forehead to hers, smiling proudly. “I’m right here.”
You tear up at the image in front of you, relieved to see your baby girl out of harm’s way. Even if the harm was entirely imaginary, you’re calmer nonetheless.
Soobin walks towards you and kisses the crown of your head. “Sorry I pulled a false alarm, baby.”
Although you’ll never tell him, you don’t mind that he did so. He’s an incredible husband and father, always on alert for the two of you and putting his needs to the wayside. You have to remind him every day to also think of himself, and he appreciates you looking out for him in the same fashion.
You shake your head and move Minyoung from Soobin’s arms to yours. You kiss her chubby cheeks and she coos at the attention, the spitting image of her father. “Daddy is gonna be the death of me, isn’t he, baby girl?”
Soobin chuckles into your hair and holds onto one of Minyoung’s fists with his palm. “Not if I can help it.”
“Now that you both have made sure she’s okay, go back to your date night!” Your mother-in-law strides into the dining room to pluck Minyoung from your grip. Minyoung is more than comfortable with it, smiling widely into her grandmother’s neck. “It’s rude enough that you both interrupted your dinner time and ours.” She turns to speak directly to Minyoung. “Right, sweetie? How dare they!”
“It’s officially off, I promise.” Soobin puts his phone in the glove-box once he parks the car in the downtown parking garage, determined to make the rest of the date night go off without a hitch.
You laugh and take his hand in yours, interlacing your fingers. “So much for low-key and relaxing, right?”
“Hey!” He points at you with his other hand. “It’s only 8 PM. The night’s still young.”
“Well, we’re not gonna be able to go back to the restaurant now. Not after I practically gave out my milk for free.” You cover your face with the palm not wrapped in your husband’s, but he takes that one too.
“Stop it,” he chides with a stern pout. “Even if you leaked through your shirt every time we went out, you’d still be more beautiful than every other person on the planet.”
You tease, "You're just saying that."
“I mean it! Do you see how gorgeous and incredible Minyoung is? That’s half your handiwork.”
You roll your eyes, but your body lights from within at his words. “She’s half yours too. You probably didn’t notice, but every waitress was checking you out.”
Soobin blushes hard, suddenly shy. “They were not.”
“Yes, they were. I can’t blame them, though. Parenthood has made you ten times sexier.”
Soobin quirks an eyebrow, the undercurrent of passion in your words unmistakable. He gets closer to you until your faces are barely an inch apart. His lips ghost over yours. “I could say the same about you. I’ve only had eyes for you, but even more so now that you’ve had my baby.”
You gulp, noticing how hard your thighs are clenching in your seat. Soobin notices too, holding one of your knees in his hand with a smirk. “Binnie, I’m not hungry for food anymore.”
He presses his lips to yours slowly. You moan into his mouth from such exquisite pleasure that’s been long overdue. He glides his tongue in between your lips as he palms one of your breasts over his jacket. When he takes his mouth from yours, he’s breathing heavily. “I was gonna say the same thing.”
It’s a clash of teeth and tongue when you make it inside the house. Hands run over curves and skin to take off the restricting clothing, appearances be damned.
You discard Soobin’s button-up somewhere in the hallway as he pulls your hair loose from your bun, clutching the strands at your nape to expose more of your neck. He riddles your skin with love bites before you even make it to the bedroom, but you both love it. How feral and frantic you are for one another, no children or external restrictions holding you back.
By the time your body hits the king-sized bed, all that’s left on you, garments-wise, is your thin bralette and mismatched underwear. Soobin looks over your body with a hunger that’s unshakeable. The poor man’s probably salivating at the mouth by now, just like you.
Ever since the doctor’s six-week ban on any physically strenuous activity, he couldn’t imagine dry-humping without fear of hurting you. That timeline came and went in a flash, but with the fatigue of daily life, it seemed impossible to find time to be intimate.
Until now, that is.
“How did I get so lucky? You’re angelic.” Soobin spreads his palms out over your chest. His long fingers squeeze your breasts over the confines of your lingerie, making you moan. “I have to take this off, bunny. I need to see you.”
You feel heat pooling at your center from his gaze, his words, his touches on your skin. You unclasp the clips holding your bra together and flick it away, not breaking eye contact the entire time.
He used to be so shy during sex, and now he wastes no time unzipping his pants to touch himself. “Fucking perfect,” he grunts, staring at the pebbling of your nipples and the volume of your tits from lactation. He spreads the pooling pre-cum in his hand to rub his cock earnestly.
You whimper and clench around nothing, the center of your underwear incredibly damp. Why did he get to have all the fun and leave you frustrated? “Binnie, please touch me.”
“Gladly.” He uses the hand not holding his dick to yank your underwear off and throw them in a corner of your room. Once the fabric is gone, he dives in between your legs. His licks start small, kitten-like in their touch, but soon he grows hungrier, more dominant. Eating you out has always been one of his favorite things during sex, like it's the only thing he needs to do to sustain himself.
“You taste amazing. You always do.” He stops jerking himself off to press two fingers inside of you without warning, mixing his essence with yours on his way to your warm and wet walls. His lips and tongue remain attached to your clit as he prods you soft and slow.
“God, it feels so good.” You raise your hips to match the rhythm of his hand inside of you. Despite being eager to keep his mouth between your legs, you reach down for him, wanting to feel his lips on yours again. “I want you up here with me.”
Soobin smiles gently before crawling up the expanse of your body. He looks down at you, unable to hide how strong his desire runs in his veins. But instead of his declarations of love that he’s said a million times before, he greets you with a deep kiss to your lips and pushes his fingers back into your cunt.
You moan into his mouth. “Jesus fuck, babe.” You whimper as he leans his head down to latch his mouth to one of your nipples, still ramming his hand deeper into you. Some milk sinks onto his tongue and dribbles past his chin, but he doesn’t care. If anything, it turns him on more. His cock produces more pre-cum and spreads onto your bedsheets.
“I want you inside of me, Soobin.” You spread your legs wider for him to settle into, and he does.
He rubs the head of his cock across your slit before nestling inside fully, his mouth opening in a large gasp as he fills you. “It always feels like the first time, bunny. Always so tight for me, fuck.”
His pace is reverent, driven by his lust, his love for you, and his desire to make this experience as incredible as it already is for him. He rubs your clit between his fingers, and your face contorts into absolute pleasure after a few minutes like that, privy to every feeling. When you fall apart, your body clenching around him in ecstasy, the moment is too beautiful for Soobin to handle. It’s a picture he wants to tattoo on his heart forever.
You could have done anything in this life, and by his luck and the universe’s grace, you were led straight to him and have given him some of the greatest gifts he could ever ask for. Your love, your hand in marriage, your children.
He would follow you anywhere without question. And he may not always believe it, but he also holds all the same powers over you. Without him, the world would be a lot duller, no color to define the edges and details of the life that you’ve built together. He makes it all worth it.
So when his next words leave his mouth, you can’t help but agree with them, the thought too beautiful in the throes of your desire to say no to. “I want to fill you up, bunny. Have another baby with you, as many as you want. So beautiful like this, but you’re even more beautiful heavy and pregnant, shit,” he moans, eyes screwed shut as he chases his own orgasm.
“Yes, Binnie, fill me up. Come inside of me, give me another. Pretty please?”
Those two words are his undoing, the blade that severs the cord that’s been slowly tightening in his stomach since he saw you in your dress five hours ago. He spills inside of you, your insides hot with his release. He doesn’t let any part of it go to waste, fucking it into you until his hips can’t go for much longer.
He lies beside you, both of your chests heaving. And while the moment was an amalgamation of intense passion, you both look at each other and laugh like teenagers. It takes you back to that first night, the first “I love you,” all the first you’ve shared and the ones that are yet to come.
“You’re my best friend, you know that, right?” He rubs your bare arm as he stares deeply into your eyes, more in love than he was a second ago. “I could not have found anyone better to be my wife and my children’s mother than you.” He kisses you on the forehead, his lips featherlight. “I love you.”
You may be incredibly hormonal, any words that make your heart seize up more than likely to cause a well of tears in your eyes. But these don’t. They make your heart lighter, shoot all your fears down, and quell any insecurities that have sprung to the surface since the two of you have become parents.
“I love you, Binnie. In this lifetime and all the other ones,” you respond. You snuggle into his chest, feeling the tempo of his heartbeat against your ear.
Everyone told you both how hard having kids would be. You know you’re not in the home stretch, not in the slightest, but with Soobin, no mountain you’ll come across is insurmountable.
All because he’s yours and you’re his.
@yvnempire @sjylouvre @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss @pars-ley @lovetaroandtaemin @wonwovy @hursheys
𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ౨ৎ˚₊
@kstrucknet @k-films @kvanity-main @moadiarynet @sweetvenomnet @moadiarynet @lapydiaries @onedoornet @sayxonet @violetanet @svthub @whipped-kpop-creators
[8:52pm] (c.sb)
☆。.:*·ﾟwc 1254 angst + smut ౨ৎ minors DNI ୨୧ husband!soobin x fem!reader, infidelity, toxic relationship, unprotected sex [masterlist • reblogs + feedback appreciated]
playlist — alligator tears, beyoncé ; pretty little birds, sza ; i wish i hated you, ariana grande ; riiverdance, beyoncé ; pretty, kennie ; easy to love me, hope tala ; the other woman, lana del rey
part two
for the past few months, this has been your routine almost every night. it makes him happy and you’ve convinced yourself that as long as he’s happy, he’ll stay. and if he stays, you won’t have to face the truth you’ve been avoiding.
soobin walks through the front door at the same time every evening, his lips curving into a sheepish grin that once made your heart flutter. you greet him with a kiss, your fingers brushing over the collar of his white shirt, where the scent of an unfamiliar perfume clings stubbornly. it’s a dark floral scent— a sweet, intoxicating reminder of where he has been. you try your hardest to ignore it as you slide off his suit jacket from his shoulders.
you usher him into the kitchen, where the table is set with his favorite dishes, each one painstakingly prepared in the hours leading up to his return. he smiles, a soft thank you falling from his lips as he kisses you again. his kisses feel more like a reflex than an expression of love.
he sits down, digging into the meal with the appetite of someone who’s been away for too long. you take your seat across from him, watching as he eats, your own plate untouched. there’s a quiet satisfaction in seeing him enjoy the food you’ve made, a fleeting sense of normalcy that almost lets you believe that things are the way they used to be.
but the silence between you is heavy, and the distance in his voice is unmistakable as he compliments the meal. it’s the same distance that lingers in his eyes, the same distance that has crept into every corner of your lives.
after dinner, he resigns to the living room and you remain in the kitchen, cleaning up. when you’re done you run him a bath. the scent of lavender and rose petals mask the tension that lingers in the air. he comes into the bathroom to meet you, his expression softening when he sees the bath you’ve prepared. there's a glimmer of affection in his eyes, but it’s fleeting, gone almost as quickly as it appears. you try to hold onto it, try to remember the last time it felt this way, but the thought slips away as he turns his attention to the warm water waiting for him.
while he bathes, you return to the bedroom, getting ready like you always do. the routine feels both familiar and hollow. you fix your hair, reapply your lipstick, slip into the lingerie he bought you for your anniversary last year. you spritz your perfume all over your body, just as he comes out of the bathroom with a towel hanging low on his hips.
“hi,” he breathes out.
“hi,”
something about the way he looks at you makes your heart skip a beat. “you look really pretty.”
you want to believe that the warmth in his voice is real. he steps closer, his arm wrapping around your waist as he pulls you into a kiss. his lips press against yours with a gentle urgency. the kiss is familiar, but tinged with something you can’t quite place. there’s a hesitation in the way he moves, as if he is holding something back. your hands find their way to his wet hair, your fingers tangling in the strands as you deepen the kiss, trying to find the connection that feels like it’s slipping away.
his mouth moves against yours slowly, almost reverently, but beneath the tenderness, there’s an undercurrent of something else— guilt, or maybe regret. you’re not sure if it’s his or yours.
the kiss lingers, a ghost of what it once was and what you used to be, and when he finally pulls away, you’re left with a hollow ache that no amount of sweetness can fill.
any guilt he feels, however, dissipates when you pull him to the bed. you know why you do it, and he does too, but soobin lets himself believe that he deserves it. he thinks he deserves the extravagant home cooked meals, the baths, you getting down on your knees every night to worship him devoutly, as though he is your newfound religion. he thinks he deserves it all, even as the guilt gnaws at the edges of his conscience.
he moans in your ear as he steadily rams his thick cock in your dripping hole. you cry out as he finds that spot inside you. he grinds his tip against your sweet spot, tearing lewd moans from your puffy lips. his kisses trail from your jaw to your throat, each one gentle, as if he’s afraid of leaving a mark. he removes his lips from your neck to watch his cock disappear between your folds.
you moan. your body reacts to him in ways you can’t control. your hands grip his forearm as you reach your peak. your walls clench around his thick cock as you cum. you feel the pleasure wash over you, but it’s laced with a sadness that you can’t shake. while he slowly fucks you through your high, he feels his own release approaching. his head falls into the crook of your neck, biting the flesh as he empties his load into you.
barely able to catch your breath, you whisper a soft i love you. he repeats after you through clenched teeth.
all your worries immediately disappear into thin air, when he pulls out and pulls your body closer to his. you feel a brief sense of relief. he is here, with you, where he belongs. you have him next to you, and for a few fleeting moments, that’s enough.
soobin almost feels bad for lying to you.
almost.
but when his phone dings on the bedside table, he snaps out of his haze and your peace is shattered. you feel him tense beside you, the warmth of his embrace slipping away as he reaches for his phone. he unwraps his arm from around you and heads over to the bathroom.
once he is in the safety of the bathroom, he checks his phone. a text from her: i miss you. what time are you coming over?
his fingers are quick to type back. i think she’s about to go to bed, but i’ll be there in twenty minutes.
as he comes back from the bathroom, you look at him with wide, hopeful, doe eyes, searching for any sign that he’s going to come back to bed and that he’ll hold you again. but he avoids your gaze, biting his lips and he picks up his discarded towel from the floor.
you’re so trusting, so loving. he doesn’t deserve you.
“something came up at work,” he lies, the words slipping out too easily. he moves over to the closet, picking out something to wear.
“right now?”
“yeah, it can’t wait.” he throws his clothes on. “i’ll probably be back in the morning though.”
“oh, okay.”
when he is fully dressed, he comes over to your side of the bed, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “i love you,” he says, the words feeling empty. rehearsed. you hum in response, the sound barely audible. “i’ll see you in the morning.”
you watch as he leaves, the door closing softly behind him. the silence that follows is deafening, wrapping around you like a shroud. you pull the covers up to your chin, trying to find comfort in the warmth left from where his body once was. but it’s no use.
fill out this form to join my taglist! author's note :: I'm back!!!! been reading and watching a lot of cheating content lol so this is really angsty sorry!! part two will be out a week from today! also please listen to the playlist because it will give you the vibe + kind of a spoiler for the ending of part two
[12:15am] (c.sb)
☆。.:*·ﾟwc 1566 angst + smut ౨ৎ minors DNI ୨୧ soobin x unnamed fem!oc, husband!soobin x fem!reader, infidelity, toxic relationship, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex [masterlist • reblogs + feedback appreciated]
playlist — alligator tears, beyoncé ; pretty little birds, sza ; i wish i hated you, ariana grande ; riiverdance, beyoncé ; pretty, kennie ; easy to love me, hope tala ; the other woman, lana del rey
part one
soobin knows the way to her place by heart. it is a small, unassuming house just outside of town, a stark contrast to the home he shares with you. he pulls into the driveway like he owns the place. it is a routine now – driving here, parking in the same spot, and heading straight for the flowerpot where she leaves the spare key for him.
the familiarity is comforting, almost too easy. it is as if this is the place he is truly meant to be.
he pushes open the door, half-expecting her to be waiting for him in the dimly lit hallway. but the house is silent. he takes a moment to take in the space, a house so devoid of personality it almost feels intentional, like it is staged. there are no family photos adorning the walls, no scatter of throw pillows on the couch, no scented candles or wallflowers to perfume the air. but it doesn’t bother him. in fact, there is something about the simplicity that makes him feel at home in a way he hasn’t in a long time.
as he moves towards the bedroom, he can feel the weight of the day finally starting to lift. the tension, the lies – it all seems to fade as he approaches the only place where things don’t feel so complicated. he finds her there, lying on the bed in one of his old t-shirts, her face dotted with pimple patches. it is strangely endearing.
“you’re late,” she remarks, her voice flat, as she catches sight of him standing in the doorway.
“i told you i was coming,” he replies.
“yeah, and you’re ten minutes late,” she shoots back, her eyes narrowing slightly. “and i’m tired now.”
“you know i had to make sure she was okay first,” he says. the mention of you hangs in the air like a lead weight. “but i’m here now.”
she rolls her eyes. “come on, baby, let me make it up to you,” soobin murmurs, inching closer to the bed, desperate to close the distance between them, both physically and emotionally.
when he reaches her, he pulls her into a kiss (mostly to placate her, but also to silence his thoughts). she smiles into the kiss, a small, satisfied curve of her lips that tells him she’d let it slide this time.
for now, he is hers, and that is all she needs.
he kisses her again, pulling her closer until there’s no space left between them. his hands move instinctively, caressing her back as he deepens the kiss, trying to lose himself in her warmth, in the simplicity of this moment.
his lips begin their slow descent from her mouth, tracing a path down her neck, lingering on the sensitive skin there as he relishes in her soft sighs. it’s intoxicating the power he holds over her. he continues, his kisses trail lower, over the curve of her breast, where the old t-shirt is pushed aside, revealing more of her skin to him. he savors the ways she arches slightly towards him. he lets his hands roam her sides, feeling the rise and fall of her breath.
then, as he reaches the lacy band of her underwear, he pauses for a moment to take the sight of her beneath him – vulnerable, wanting, and his. there’s a part of him that wishes he could stay in this moment forever, where nothing exists but her, but he knows, just like all the moments they share, it’s fleeting.
he kisses the lace softly before he starts to peel the fabric away, ready to lose himself in her completely.
“you’re so unreal,” he whispers as he spreads her legs apart, positioning himself between them.
his lips find her clit, and the moment his mouth makes contact, she lets out an ear-splitting moan, her body arching into him. her fingers tangle in his hair, tugging at the roots with abandon. she melts under the pleasure he gives her, reacting instinctively to each flick of his tongue against her sensitive, swollen bud.
with each movement, he pushes her closer to the edge. when he moans against her, the vibrations send shockwaves through her body. her vision blurs, and for about a minute, she is lost in the blinding ecstasy of her orgasm. she jerks beneath him, her back arching as she releases over his face, and he greedily laps up every last drop, his mouth moving down as he prolongs her pleasure.
even after his mouth and fingers leave her, the aftershocks of her climax linger.
he aligns himself with her entrance, and with a slow, deliberate push, he presses his cock into her. the stretch burns at first, but soon the pain fades, replaced by a pleasure so intense it nearly overwhelms her.
she moans as he pulls out, only thrust back in, harder and sharper. he gives her a moment to adjust, his thrusts faster, deeper. her gasps and moans fill the room, but they’re incoherent, her mind too far gone to form words.
“‘m yours… all yours, baby,” soobin whispers breathlessly, his voice rough. her eyes roll back in response as she grinds against him, completely consumed by the feeling of him inside her. a guttural groan escapes him as he picks up the pace, fucking her harder, deeper, until she’s on the brink again.
“s-so close,” she manages to gasp out, her body trembling with the force of her impending release.
his thrusts grow erratic, his breathing harsh and labored. she can tell he’s just as close as she is. “cum for me, baby. please, just cum all over my cock,” he pleads desperately.
she cries out as her body seizes, her orgasm ripping through her with brutal intensity. her pussy tightens around him, trapping him in the pulsing heat of her orgasm. he’s overcome, lost in the sensation of her gripping him so tightly, and the only thing he can do is press his hips flush against hers, filling her with everything he has.
as he pulls away from her, the warmth of his body leaving hers, she instinctively curls into him. the rawness of the moment slowly begins to settle into a familiar ache in her chest. her heartbeat steadies, her breathing slows, but her mind races. she turns her gaze upward, her eyes soft and pleading as she whispers, “can you please stay?”
he meets her eyes, offering a tender smile as he strokes her hair. “i am staying,” he reassures her. but she knows the truth. she feels it in the way his hand hesitates before touching her again, in the way his gaze flickers away from hers. he means he’s staying for now, for the night. she forces a smile. “good,” she murmurs, snuggling closer to him, trying to absorb this moment. to make it last.
he holds her tightly, his lips brushing against her forehead in a series of soft kisses that felt more like an apology. she knows the truth she’s been trying to ignore. soobin loves her, yes, but not enough. never enough to actually leave you. the thought cuts through her like a knife, sharp and cold.
despite the doubt gnawing at her, exhaustion eventually pulls her to sleep, his body still wrapped around hers. she dreams of a future that she knows will never come to pass.
the next morning, she wakes to an empty bed and the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. for a moment, she allows herself to hope that maybe today will be different. but when he emerges, dressed in the same clothes he wore last night, her heart sinks.
“you’re leaving?” she asks. her voice is small as she sits up in bed. her fingers clutch the comforter as if it could keep him there.
“i have to go home,” he replies, the words heavy with the weight of everything left unsaid. to my wife. but he doesn’t say it; he doesn’t need to. she knows. he walks towards the bed, leaning down to kiss her. she feels the finality of it in the press of his lips.
she catches his arm as he pulls aways, desperation creeping into her voice. “i was hoping we’d get breakfast or something. have a slow morning?”
soobin sighs. “i know, but i have to get home. we’re having guests next week, so we have to go shopping this weekend.”
her heart clenches at his words. that doesn’t sound like something you do with someone you’re planning to leave. in fact, it sounds like the life of a man who is firmly committed with no intention of changing his situation.
“don’t frown,” he says, his thumb brushing over her furrowed brow. he leans down to kiss her again, this time a quick peck, as if to soften the blow. “i’ll make it up to you.”
she watches him with fear and frustration bubbling up inside her. “at least stay for breakfast,” she pleads, reaching for him one last time.
“i–i have to go.” his eyes dart away from hers as he steps back.
as he walks out the door, leaving her alone in the cold, empty house, she feels the familiar sting of tears welling up in her eyes. you get the dates, and the wedding ring, and the family reunions. you get him. and all she gets is the hollow echo of his absence.
fill out this form to join my taglist! author's note :: this is the part two!! I really hope you enjoyed this <33 I know it's not the satisfying she leaves him ending but I thought it shed light to the dynamics in these relationships. if you have any questions, comments, etc , please please please feel free to ask me !!
love is the best medicine | 𝐜𝐬𝐛
୨୧ pairing: choi soobin x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 2.1k ୨୧ genre: smut, semi-angst, fluff ୨୧ tags: established relationship!au, semi-pwp, pet names, makeup sex, chest worship, nipple play, unprotected sex, creampie ୨୧ synopsis: One fight and a few days of space leads to a particularly passionate reconciliation.
It’s so easy to acquiesce to someone begging for forgiveness when they come bearing your favorite snacks.
It doesn’t help that your boyfriend also looks so adorable rain-soaked and pouting, the bag of your most-loved, edible junk dangling on his wrist. He hasn’t said the words exactly, neither verbally nor through text, but you can see in his face that the white flag is raised for you to accept.
“Can I, y’know—” The question dies on Soobin’s lips, his eyes saying all that he needs to at this point. Please let me in.
I love you and I’m sorry. These past three days have been hell without you.
By the time the bag is discarded on the kitchen counter and your body is intertwined with Soobin on your bed, you can barely recall what the fight was about in the first place.
From your memory, it had something to do Soobin’s increasingly tight schedule and his inability to spend quality time with you past every other weekend. You went off the rails, as anyone would expect.
The rain outside bears down on your apartment windows. The weather distracted you from the simmering irritation you felt at the texts Soobin quickly answered in between random scenes of the movie still playing on your living room television. It had been infrequent enough that he could kiss away most of your ire, but after the third text from Beomgyu, you’d had enough.
“I can’t believe you,” you grumbled, wanting to rip his phone from his hands and chuck it at the wall.
“What did I do, bunny?” The words came out so nonchalantly, like he had no idea what you were referring to. They made a well of tears form in your eyes, your emotions unrelenting in their sudden assault.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes? Now can you stop talking in riddles, baby?” The chuckle was what did you in, immediately taking the hand he wrapped around your shoulder and yanking it from your body.
“Do you even care about this relationship anymore?” You asked, tears streaming down your face as you jumped off the couch and away from Soobin. You were exasperated that on all the nights he could’ve been splitting his attention between work and play, it had to be during the only night you got to be alone together.
“How can you even say that?” Soobin said the words with another chuckle, but it was clear in the furrow of his brow that he was growing as angry as you were. He didn’t want the night to be ruined by your accusations and bristly attitude, not when he didn’t know the next day he’d be able to spend another night at your place without interruptions. “Where’s this coming from?”
“If you don’t want to be here with me, then leave, Soob. Clearly, you have more important things to do. More important than me, anyway.” You knew when the words left your lips that you were being ridiculous. But all you were pining for was some reassurance.
Soobin, however, was fed up at that point, unwilling to cater to your ridiculous and covert demands. “Do you realize how crazy you sound right now? I always want to spend time with you, but you can’t expect me not to do what I’m supposed to. It’s my job.”
The second the word crazy pieced the air, you saw red. “So I’m crazy for wanting to spend some time with you without being bombarded by outside influences? God forbid I expect my boyfriend to pay attention once in a while.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“Then what did you mean, then? Because all I heard was you sounding like a dick.”
Anger passed over his eyes. He leapt up from the couch and stomped over to your spot in the kitchen to face you head on, his chest rising up and down with bated breaths. “Now I’m a dick for just expressing to you how I feel? That’s a bit hypocritical don’t you think? I didn’t call you a bitch for being unreasonable all day, even though I have every right to with how you’re behaving.”
You take in a shaky breath and cross your arms. “Just get out then, Soobin. If I’m such a bitch and you can’t handle me being honest.”
“Fine, if that’s what you want.” He left you with one last look of pain before slamming the door closed.
You felt intense guilt for handling the situation the way you did, your pride and anger creating a cold war you didn’t want to start in the first place. And you were certain Soobin felt his own level of regret for not giving you the attention you deserved as of late. Not only had those three days let you both to clear your heads, but also allowed you some time to reflect on how to come back together following such a heated encounter.
Clearly, it didn’t take much effort to mend fences the second you saw him on the other side of your door.
You relish in the feeling of Soobin’s lips on your neck and his hands pressed to your bare breasts underneath your hoodie. What’s the point of rehashing past issues, anyway? It doesn’t matter when he’s so loving when he holds you with both tenderness and impatience, needing to feel you close in every possible way.
He pinches and palms you with little decorum, pleased to hear the gasps and moans that leave your mouth. In spite of the irritation that still lingers from being away from you for so long, he only wants to please you. It’s all he’s ever wanted, even on days like the one a week ago that started all of this. When you both could've pulled each other’s hair out, he still loved you then, and loves you even more now, not willing to spend another second separated from you.
He discards the garment and his own sweatshirt to feel the heat of your skin on his lips. He takes one nipple into his mouth hungrily, still holding onto your free breast with one hand, loving your curves and the heftiness of his favorite parts of you.
“I should still be angry with you,” he grunts, releasing your nipple with a lewd pop and hovers over the other before staring up at you. “But I love you too much.”
“Prove it,” you whisper, moving his hands to the sides of your pajama shorts.
He doesn’t need any reminders to pleasure you, the thought always lingering in the back of his mind despite his desire to remain composed and gentlemanlike in your presence. But, it’s nice to be assured you want it as much as he does.
And you know by now how much he loves you, the days without you building too large of a cavern in his chest for him to stay away. From the fidgeting of your hips in his hold and the writhing of your center against his aching cock, it was evident you couldn’t put up much of a fight anymore either the second you dragged him into your room.
Soobin tastes the wetness between your thighs with eagerness. He loves the way you instantly squeeze your legs around his head, your body’s sensitivity on high. A mixture of pleasure and pain crosses your face at the feeling of his tongue flicking incessantly across your clit and folds. A little over seventy-two hours of separation should not make you so needy, so pathetic for any form of contact you can get.
You can’t feel too bad, though. Soobin shares the same level of desperation when he finally slides inside of you moments later, the taste of you satiating him just enough before he becomes mad with lust.
“You’re so perfect,” he whispers as he slams his hips into yours, his pelvic bones meeting yours with every deliberately slow thrust of his body. “And all mine.”
You nod vigorously, the only reaction you can muster. “Yes, yes, yes,” you agree, quick compliance leaving your lips to go back to focusing on soaking in the sensations you’ve been without. More of him, all of him, but it’s not enough.
Soobin watches the way your chest bounces with every plunge of his cock inside of you, your nipples still erect and glistening from his previous attention to them. He suckles one back into his mouth, needing to feel the bud between his teeth as he continues driving a slow, cruel pace.
If this is how he can release what’s left of his pent-up frustration from the fight, so be it. You’ll just have to take it.
“Binnie, please go faster,” you beg, clawing your nails down his back to prove how torturous his slow lovemaking is for what’s left of your composure.
His devilish eyes stare at yours through his lashes, his lips still ravishing your chest while his hips remain in the clasp of the tempo he’s set. From the tenseness of his jaw and the grip he has on your body, you discern he has no intention of listening to your pleas.
You try to buck your hips into his to feel him deeper and harder, to make what you want happen on your own, but he doesn’t accept it. He presses both of your hips into the mattress with his hands, splaying his fingers out wide to keep you still.
“Just because I love you, bunny, doesn’t mean I’m still not upset,” he says through gritted teeth.
“As if I’m still not mad at you,” you tease, clinging onto his backside to urge him to give you what you need.
“I don’t think you’re in any position to be mad when I’m about to make you come.” Soobin removed his hand from one of your hips to glide his fingers through your wetness, your clit so willing to be touched again.
“Then let’s call a truce,” you gasp, your body betraying you by falling prey to every touch and kiss Soobin provides. “Go faster and I’ll let it go.”
Soobin chuckles and presses a kiss to your cheek. “How about you apologize first and then I’ll do what you want.”
“Fine, fucking fine,” you huff. “I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have kicked you out, now please fuck me, pretty please.”
He kisses you hard, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip before he clamps down on the plush skin with his teeth. “As you wish, bunny.”
Not removing his hand from your clit, he drives into you harder, your bodies slapping together loudly as he increases his speed. He flicks his thumb and index finger against your clit fast, matching the new tempo of his hips beautifully.
Your eyes roll back into your head, practically feeling the tip of his cock in the back of your throat from how deep, hard, and quick he’s thrusting. “Fuck, I’m gonna come, Binnie,” you say, closer to seeing white than ever before.
“Come, sweetheart. Come all over me.”
You whimper as you fall off the precipice, your body trembling as it floods with endorphins from your orgasm.
Soobin falls apart in quick succession after you, his seed flooding the insides of your walls. Some of it seeps out with the shallow thrusts he gives following his release, but he makes sure to stuff it back in with both his cock and fingers.
He kisses one of your temples, the skin soaked with sweat. “I love you, you know?” He whispers the words into your skin, rubbing his arms over your sides and pecking at your neck with his lips.
“I love you too,” you say earnestly, blushing from his sweet nothings following such intense lovemaking.
But it’s never nothing, especially not after days of worrying he had had enough of you.
You take a hand and place it under his chin, forcing him to look up at you. You choke up when you say, “I really am sorry.”
He smiles and smothers your face in kisses, the final one pressed long and deeply onto your lips. “There’s nothing to be sorry for anymore, bunny. I forgave you the second you let me in.”
He nestles you close to his side, pressing your back to his chest. “I’m sorry, too. It’s you and me, always.”
You smile to yourself and affirm his words with your own. “Always.”
And with perfect ease, you fall asleep in the safety of his arms, knowing all is forgiven and nothing is as important as two hearts realigned as one.
@yvnempire @sjylouvre @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss @pars-ley @lovetaroandtaemin @wonwovy @hursheys
𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ౨ৎ˚₊
@kstrucknet @k-films @kvanity-main @moadiarynet @lapydiaries @sweetvenomnet @onedoornet @sayxonet @violetanet @svthub @whipped-kpop-creators
one for the road (h.kk + k.th)
ʚ♡⃛ɞ another tale of boy likes girl... but so does his best friend.
fluff + angst ౨ৎ ୨୧ huening kai x fem!reader x kang taehyun, rockstar!au, college!au, suggestive featuring all members of txt, all of itzy, wonbin from riize, yunjin from le sserafim, ningning from aespa, and huening lea started. sep 1 ended. status. ongoing posting schedule. sundays, tuesdays, thursdays, saturdays [masterlist • reblogs + feedback appreciated]
event masterlist
profiles: protagonists and friends
i. opening sequence ii. it could be fun iii. the battle begins iv. 365 party girl v. lea's fan club and others vi. party animals (written; 749 words) vii. slut acknowledging viii. score! ix. twice as hard x. ayahuasca in bali xi. sucks to suck! xii. the plot thickens (written; 781 words) xiii. round of eight xiv. relationships r hard xv. the most wonderful time of the year xvi. project partners (written; 1122 words) xvii. which could mean anything xviii. busy busy bees xix. crazier things have happened xx. party of the century (written + smau; 2119 words) xxi. the girls are fighting xxii. the end of an era (written; 1008 words) xxiii. the whole house sad xxiv. is this fucking play about us? xxv. weird n good xxvi. care xxvii. cherry xxviii. tiny moves (written) xxix. sinners (written) xxix.i bonus chapter: so what had happened was? (written) xxx. real love baby
comment or send an ask to join the taglist for this series! fill out this form to join my permanent taglist! author's note: if you saw the first iteration of this series, no you didn't! this is part of my college au series~ also disclaimer: all depictions of any idols in this are fictional, for story telling purposes only. every idol included in this i love and i do not feel negatively about them !
ᶻz JUST FOR A WEEK ( 최수빈 )
in which . . . your ex boyfriend helps you sleep just for a week. genre fluff , exes to ? , one bed trope , some itzy member cameos , soobin x fem!reader cw exes sharing a bed obv , reader not over soobin at all (but he isn't over reader either) , this is just cute and fluffy , not proofread wc 881 request @soobchwe note slytherinshua txt fic era plsplsplspls net @kstrucknet @moadiarynet
Maybe your genius idea to not tell your friends that you had broken up with Soobin hadn’t been as genius as you thought. The original thought was to give yourself enough time to process the change before sharing. But now, swept away on an impromptu summer vacation, of which the beach cabin Yeji booked only had 3 bedrooms, you realized just how truly stupid that idea two months ago had been. Because of your failure to communicate your new relationship status, you and Soobin were expected to share a room. With only 1 bed.
It couldn’t be that bad, right? You were still friendly with Soobin. Sure, there was a little bit of awkwardness in the air between you two every time you talked, but it wasn’t like you hated him. He was still the same kind, considerate, and loving man he always had been while you dated. He hadn’t changed, still treating you as gently as ever.
It was especially clear that Soobin didn’t want to overstep your boundaries, knowing the scars from the breakup were still quite present. However amicable and “healthy” the breakup had been, you were still struggling to figure out your emotions after the fact. A part of you felt like it would’ve been easier to move on if you and Soobin hadn’t fit so well together. From hobbies, interests, likes, dislikes, food preferences, opinions— you matched up with him on almost everything.
Everyone was able to see it. Yeonjun, Ryujin, Lia, and Beomgyu all agreed that you were a match made in heaven. Maybe your hesitance to tell them of your breakup had been for fear of shattering their excitement for you and Soobin. You knew they would ask why you broke up, and you weren’t ready to discuss the details.
The past few weeks had been filled with a battle, trying to stop missing him as much as you did. Reminding yourself that the breakup was your choice, a chance to focus on yourself and get into a better mental headspace. You’d made significant progress. At least, you thought you had. Being around each other for even just one day on this vacation put you back at square one immediately.
And now, rolling your suitcase into the bedroom you were expected to share with the man, a weight only settled in your chest, wondering how the hell you were supposed to survive a week in his presence. He came up behind you, backpack slung over one shoulder.
“Ah… You didn’t tell them, did you?” Soobin’s voice was smooth, posing the question to you in a relaxed manner. You shook your head.
“Did you?”
“No. You didn’t seem ready.”
Even the simple observation had your heart cracking slightly in your chest. You missed how easily he could read you, how he truly understood how you felt better than anyone. You missed him.
“Should I room with Yeonjun and Beomgyu? I really don’t mind,” he offered immediately, seeing the apprehensive look on your face.
You sighed. “No. They’ll catch on if you do that. It’s really fine. Just don’t cross onto my side of the bed, okay?”
“Okay.”
You couldn’t fall asleep. You could barely even think with Soobin right there. He was facing away from you, head buried in his pillow, quietly breathing. From what you could tell, he wasn’t asleep yet. Yet he seemed so comfortable and calm that you were almost fooled by it. He had been so relaxed and unaffected by everything the whole day; your presence, sharing a room, sharing a bed. Every hurdle that seemed to knock you over bypassed Soobin with ease. You wondered if he was faking it like you or if he had truly moved on from you completely in just three weeks. Maybe you were the only one lingering onto feelings from the past in his presence.
He shifted, turning over to face you and you froze. You didn’t remember when you had turned to stare at his back, but now that you were staring straight into his eyes, you wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. Exes definitely shouldn’t be this hung up, right?
“I can’t sleep when you’re staring at me like that,” he whispered.
“I can’t sleep with you that far away from me.”
Fuck.
“I-I meant that close to me. I can’t sleep when you’re that close,” you reiterated, silently begging that your awful coverup would work. You could barely make out him raising an eyebrow in the dark.
“Are you sure? You always slept better in my arms.”
He wasn’t lying. In fact, your sleep had been one of the things that had suffered post-breakup. It was hard to fall asleep and even harder to stay asleep with Soobin gone and your bed feeling so noticeably cold every night.
His warm hand reached for your wrist, hesitantly grabbing it, giving you time to push him away. You didn’t. Instead, you let him pull you closer, until your head rested on his chest, the sound of his steadily beating heart faint in your ears.
“I’ll help you sleep soundly,” he mumbled.
You held onto him tighter, feeling drowsy for the first time surrounded by his body warmth and comforting scent. Maybe you’d let him help you sleep. Just for a week.
txt taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @kangtaehyunzzz,, @eternalgyu,, @90steele,, @ddeonudepressions,, @cham3li,,
@wolfmoonmusic,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @candewlsy,, @blossominghunnie,,
@amara-mars,, @wccycc,, @seunghancore,, @ujisworld,, @sobun1est,,
@bananabubble,, @talkingsaxy,, @sxmmerberries,, @talking-saxy,, @nicholasluvbot,,
@cupidslovearrows,, @50-husbands,, @hursheys,, @stannwjnss,, @gong-fourz,,
@nonononranghaee,, @forever-atiny,, @stantxtforabetterlife,, @loserlvrss
ıllı TABLOIDS GONNA LOVE THIS ( 휴닝카이 )
genre fluff , friends to lovers , popstar au , hueningkai x fem!reader cw paparazzi here to ruin everything (be a helpful plot device) once again , not proofread wc 1365 request @hyperdramas note ik this idea was originally supposed to be indie band kai but the popstar fame idea was stronger than me skdjksd kai is so hot i love him, and hope you like it lyr !! tagging @soobchwe <3 net @kstrucknet
Kai couldn’t write a single song that wasn’t about you. Although he always denied the fact, he knew that you were his inspiration. He poured his feelings out into pages and pages of lyrics, strumming patterns on his guitar in his studio for hours on end. The result was another smash hit, dominating the charts worldwide for weeks. Kai was known as a sensation, the best of his generation. No one knew who was the real reason for his success, though. Not even you.
You were back in Kai’s studio, legs sprawled over the back of his couch, staring at the ceiling as he played demos from his speakers. The beat was nice, and Kai’s vocals, although rough, still sounded heavenly. On rare occasions, you hated being the best friend to the world’s biggest artist. Wishing Kai was still a nobody like he was a few years ago, so you both could spend time together in the normal way. But most of the time, you loved every second of his popstar life.
From hearing songs before their release, to free tickets wherever he was touring, you got benefits no one else did just from being Kai’s best friend. But you would never take it for granted. He would always be your friend before an international star. 99% of the time, you just saw him as your Kai, the same boy you had practically grown up with attached by the hips.
“So, what do you think?” Kai asked, pausing the song after the second verse.
“It’s good. But you already knew that,” you said, smiling. “How do you manage to do it every time? The lyrics are always straight from the heart.”
Kai smiled. “I’ve just got good inspiration, I guess.”
“And who would that be? Who are you singing your heart out for?” You crossed your arms, curious to hear his answer. If there was ever a chance to tease Kai about something, you would take it. Whether it was the fact that he had no friends or still slept with his childhood plushies, you never let him hear the end of it. A chance to tease him about a possible crush was an opportunity you wouldn’t pass up.
“No one in particular,” Kai shrugged, eyes darting up to the ceiling. You could tell he was lying immediately, and a grin spread on your face.
“Come on, I know there must be someone! Every great artist has to have their muse.”
“Just someone I know,” he said simply, huffing at your stubborn resolve to get the answer out of him. He was really bad at lying, especially to you. But his stomach twisted at the thought of you finding out you were the inspiration for… every single song he ever wrote. If you found out, he’d either have a full album of relationship songs within the year, or a heartbreak album so depressing the entire world would be brought to tears. He wasn’t too keen on the latter.
“You know like… 3 people total. Me, Taehyun, and Lily. Oh my god— is it Lily!? Seriously?” you exclaimed, sitting up like a spring. Kai groaned.
“It’s not Lily. Stop wondering and help me think of a bass line,” he grabbed the bass from its stand and sat down next to you, thumbing at the strings to produce deep low notes from the instrument.
You sighed, turning your attention to the notes he played. Your mind still lingered back to who his songs were about. You didn’t think Lily was a bad guess— she had even featured on one of his biggest hits. She had an insane voice that complemented Kai’s beautifully. It could be her.
But you also knew Kai was nearly incapable of lying to you. If he said it wasn’t her, then it probably wasn’t. That left the possibility of a mystery woman that he had met and you didn’t know about. Unlikely. Or… you. Very likely.
“Come on, let’s go out for dinner! It’s Valentine’s day. Neither of us have a date, so let’s just be each other’s!” Kai pleaded, pulling on your arm. He had shown up to your apartment with a small bouquet of roses, claiming he got it for you for a “friend date”. You had originally planned to stay in bed all night, watching rom-coms that would make you feel hopelessly single, but you couldn’t refuse a dinner offer from Kai. You put on the fanciest dress you could find and met Kai by the door twenty minutes later, taking the flowers from his hand.
“You look pretty. Let’s go,” he said, smiling widely. He was out the door before you had a chance to process why your cheeks flushed from his comment.
The restaurant he took you to was fancy, unsurprisingly. You didn’t even want to know how much the food cost. You could easily say it was the best food you had ever tasted, and it wasn’t like your best friend was struggling in the financial department. Valentines, which you always used to dread as it was spent single and depressed, was turning out to be quite pleasant instead thanks to Kai. Until you heard the unmistakable sound of a camera click from behind you.
“Kai,” you whispered, grabbing his attention. “Is someone taking pictures of us?”
He looked around, alarmed, eyes scanning the other tables like a hawk. Once he located the camera, and the paparazzi it belonged to, his face twisted in irritation. He was used to his outings getting ruined by flashing cameras and crowds of people asking for autographs, but he hated that you had been accidentally dragged into it. He could already imagine the headlines tomorrow if those photos reached the public. He was at a romantic restaurant, dressed up, on Valentine’s day, with a date.
“Go to the bathrooms. I’ll meet you there. Try to keep your face covered, okay?” he instructed, tone softening although he still looked pissed. You nodded and stood up, weaving your way through the tables of people until you found the bathrooms.
The wait for Kai to join you felt like hours, and you were hyper alert for any sign of cameras or flashes. Even running into other people walking past the bathrooms had you tense. You knew the power paparazzi had, especially if their pictures reached tabloids. Huening Kai was the hottest star in the industry, and millions of people were desperate to get a glimpse into his personal life. A leak of this size could cause headaches for weeks. You hoped he could handle the situation well enough.
When Kai finally arrived, he ushered you into one of the unisex bathrooms and closed the door, locking it for privacy.
“So, bad news. The entire world may think that you’re my girlfriend tomorrow,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair and pulling on the strands in frustration.
“What?”
“There were multiple people and they all got pictures. I think they already got leaked by now. Even if I sue them and get the pictures taken down, millions will have already seen them. I’m so so sorry,” Kai told you.
Your face fell, knowing there was nothing you could do to prevent it. You really should have stayed home and watched those romcoms instead of going to dinner.
“I can say that you’re just my friend. I don’t know how believable it will seem, though. We both dressed up for this, and it’s freaking Valentine’s day.”
You sighed.
“It’s okay. What if… I just pretended to be your girlfriend? Then you won’t have to try to do damage control,” you offered, mulling over the options and outcomes.
“What if you didn’t have to pretend?” Kai asked, taking a brave step for once.
“What do you mean? We’re not dating.”
“We could be.”
“Are you seriously asking me out in the bathroom of a restaurant?” you teased, making Kai smile.
“And if I am?” You knew that look in his eyes, a soft glimmer. He really was in love with you.
“Then, I guess I’d say yes,” you smiled. He was lucky you were just as in love with him.
“Tabloids are gonna love this story.”
txt taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @kangtaehyunzzz,, @eternalgyu,, @90steele,, @ddeonudepressions,, @cham3li,,
@wolfmoonmusic,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @candewlsy,, @blossominghunnie,,
@amara-mars,, @wccycc,, @seunghancore,, @ujisworld,, @sobun1est,,
@bananabubble,, @talkingsaxy,, @sxmmerberries,, @talking-saxy,, @nicholasluvbot,,
@cupidslovearrows,, @50-husbands,, @hursheys,, @stannwjnss,, @gong-fourz,,
@nonononranghaee,, @forever-atiny,, @stantxtforabetterlife,, @loserlvrss
ZANNA THIS WAS SO CUTE???? ARE U IN UR WRITING TXT ERA???
I HOPE I AM !!
