PICK UP THE PHOOONE, FUCKER

hey, i'm lucia! welcome to where i put all the things i like. 18+

[figofswords]

i miss my beautiful wife joann fabrics it feels as if eons have passed since i last saw her. this guy michael keeps waving her visage in front of me and saying she’s living in his house but he is lying to me. i know this because i went into his house and found only fragments and memories of my beautiful wife joann and pictures of her shadowed face labeled “online only”. michael won’t even let me order swatches from him

[insomniac-arrest]

the road OUT of hell is also paved with good intentions. That’s just kind of the main road we’ve got

[softwaring]

[feyd-meowtha]

[antikate]

A Cow is Abducted by a UFO (after The Two-headed Calf by Laura Gilpin)

The calf is still calling for her as the dark slides away across the fields

And the farmer strokes her neck

And he tells her it'll be alright, because his daughter has a soft heart, and she feeds the orphans and the rejects with a bottle made from a milk jug, and she only cries a little when he takes them to the cattle sale

And he never will know what happened to that one heifer

And for the rest of his life it will come back to him while he's mending fences or driving steers into the pens or lying in his bed in the wakeful, watchful dark

One of those mysteries that will never be solved

Just forgotten

And he won't connect his missing cow with the lights they saw in the sky two towns over

Or the boy who wandered off by the river

Who they found 20 miles away, barefoot, confused

Or that one place out on the back roads where the clock in his truck always jumps a few minutes ahead

And the radio goes fuzzy and distorted

And the static sounds a little bit like his mother's voice

Saying that he has a soft heart

And he'll never know that in the dark that night

The stars drifted into strange new shapes

And a wind came up from nowhere

And he'll never know

That even as the cow rose into the sky, lifted by a shining silver disc

That she was not afraid

Because she finally knew how to fly

(For @mochacoffee and @racketghost)

[patrickbatemanamericanpsycho]

When the group chat arguing and bro starts messaging you privately

[szuffersztar]

[buzzfeed]

W H A T

[curlicuecal]

this is fucking with my head so hard

[curlicuecal]

*confused and angry squeaking*

[curlicuecal]

*hissing and backing away from the unknown*

[purified-zone]

Thanks! I hate it!

[wheeloffortune-design]

COME ON

[justanothadeadbloginthevoid]

[bantaro-bird]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

could also be called the tumblrfication of human experience but then it would've gotten fewer views.

[zmpl]

real as fuck joe

[snoopyoftheday]

snoopy of the day

[snoopyoftheday]

snoopy of the day

[itsjesscapade]

the second 'o' in "zoologist" is putting in heavy duty work. girl is working two jobs

[rabbiteclair]

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

[cloudyyink]

What a rebel

[bleucalire]

Ooold Aziraphale animations compilation! I don’t know if I’ll ever finish it someday so I’m just posting it as it is for now!

(I got asked many times if it was AI when I posted it on insta, it is not! Everything was hand drawn in Clip Studio Paint)

[mochacoffee]

Call Me Your Angel by vialattea a Good Omens Call Me By Your Name AU Summary:

By all measures, Aziraphale has a perfect life. He lives in a vacation home with two close friends. He’s a staple in the local church community.

He’s content.

Until this year’s summer guest, a man named Crowley, provokes the introspection he’s spent his entire perfect life avoiding — including the idea that his desires may not align with the story he’s told himself all these years.

And that the strongest among them is for a man he’s only just met.

Rated E, no archive warnings apply Chapter 1 is now up on AO3!

[mochacoffee]

Chapter 6 is up! Wooo!!