clever as the devil, twice as pretty

mock blog for thickasthieves // "); // ]]>

[mockesmeralda]

esme knight at the Victorian

[fungusfather]

concept: a rainstorm late at night, a cool breeze, lavender vanilla candles, warm blankets, an overall feeling of being tired but in a content way

[mockesmeralda]

questions

What was your favorite food when you were a child? Now? “It sounds so, so nasty, but black pudding. I’d have it for breakfast alongside tea, beans, and bread. The sad thing was I would probably have eaten it for every meal of the day if I was allowed.” “Now, my palette is much more discriminating, thankfully. Plus, I get to choose what I eat. If I could, I would have crêpes everyday. Some with strawberries and whipped cream. Some with bananas and powdered sugar. My sweet tooth will be the death of me.”

What’s the #1 most played song on your phone? “Last week, it was Dazzle by Oh Wonder. This week it’s Pillowtalk by Zayn. Lord knows I’m not surprised it changes so often.”

What is one of your favorite quotes? “Dostoevsky said ‘Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man.’ I can’t help but feel this applies to me more than it should. It’s beautiful and tragic at the same time.”

What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity? “Indoors? Probably just relaxing. Watching the tele, or playing a game. Even just talking. That said, I love doing anything with Omar -- even if it’s just small things like straightening up the room. Considering the outdoors? I love bicycle riding. I went biking ‘round the garden of Versailles once. It was incomparable.”

What chore do you absolutely hate doing? “I hate doing the dishes. My fingers get pruny and I can’t stand it.”

What is your favorite form of exercise? “Pilates! And cycling. Maybe cycling more than pilates. I hate the burn in my muscles after, but at least cycling makes it seem like I’m going somewhere.”

What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year? “I love the time just before dark where the sky is filled with colors. Bright ones and pastel ones all intermixed. I like Saturdays where I can sleep in for a change. My favorite month is June. I like the warmth.”

What’s your least favorite mode of transportation? “How wrong would it be to say walking? Omar has spoiled me.”

What is your favorite body part? “My hair.”

What sound do you love? “The sound of someone in the throes of the pleasure I’m giving them. Kidding. Sort of. I love Omar’s voice when he’s just woken up. It’s sleepy and coarse and utterly kind.”

If you could throw any kind of party, what would it be like and what would it be for? “A surprise party for Rosie or Anika. As much as I try, they always seem to figure out all of my plans -- even before I do.”

If you could paint a picture of any scenery you’ve seen before, what would you paint? “Behind my home in Ireland, there was a garden. It wasn’t kept, but it was just wildflowers growing and growing. I remember it all too well.” “The ocean of the coast of Normandy -- with its cliffs and rocks. Stunning. Simply beautiful.”

If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be? “Eighteen.”

If you knew the world was ending in 2012, what would you do differently? “Nothing. That was the before.”

If you could choose anyone, who would you pick as your mentor? "Artemesia Cipriani.”

If you could witness any event past, present or future, what would it be? “The Woman Suffrage Parade of 1913. In America. Seems pretty cool.”

If you could learn to do anything, what would it be? “Knitting seems like it would be a very good time killer. Maybe some more mindfulness exercises”

If you had to work on only one project for the next year, what would it be? “Rounding out Esme.”

If you were immortal for a day, what would you do? “Skydiving. Scuba diving. Cliff scaling.”

If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? “Been there, done that.”

If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet? “Alla O’Malley.”

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? “Repay Omar.”

If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavor, what would it be? “I would be a sparrow. I would be a cup of English breakfast tea with milk and two sugars.”

If you could know the answer to any question, besides “What is the meaning of life?”, what would it be? “Why did they do that to me?”

If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose? “Hermione Granger, no if ands or buts. Ugly duckling turned swan plus brains and magic? I’m in. Or wait! What about Mrs. Banks from Mary Poppins? Helluva lady.”

Which celebrity do you get mistaken for? “Would you believe me if I said Gigi Hadid?”

What do you want to be when you grow up? “To quote that one Beatles member, happy.”

When you have 30 minutes of free-time, how do you pass the time? “Laughing with my girls. Being with Omar.”

What would you name the autobiography of your life? “Rise.”

Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was bad but it turned out to be for the best? “My bird died.”

What was one of the best parties you’ve ever been to? “Anything at the Victorian is bound to be a good time.”

What was the last movie, TV show or book that made you cry or tear up? “Jack could have totally fit on that board.”

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? “Moving past.”

What was the last experience that made you a stronger person? “Waking up this morning.”

What did you do growing up that got you into trouble? “I would fall asleep behind the bar and neither my uncle or father would be able to find me.” “Seems that sneaking out after dark is frowned upon.”

When was the last time you had an amazing meal? “I love every meal, quite frankly.”

What’s the best/worst gift you’ve ever given/received? “The best gifts? My birds from Omar, and my necklace. Worst? I’m not sure. I tend to like most things. The rock tumblr was disappointing, though.”

What do you miss most about being a kid? “My parents.” “Nothing! I couldn’t do anything. It was rather constraining.”

What is your first memory of being really excited? “Getting my red rain boots with my mum after school one day.” “Getting the birds from Omar.”

What was the first thing you bought with your own money? “Bird seed.”

When was the last time you were nervous? “Can’t say. It’s been some time, though, which was never something I thought I would say again.”

What is something you learned in the last week? “That Rosie makes bad tea. Milo’s hair is really cute from the back. Anika can tell what will look good on me before I even try it on.”

What story does your family always tell about you? “My dad liked to tell the story where I fell in a mud puddle after school. We found a frog under my hat.” “No family, no story.”

At what age did you become an adult? “Seventeen.”

[mockesmeralda]

an analysis

Something important about Esme that I feel might be overlooked is her age. She is young. She is still learning, growing, yet she is taking on such an adult role. She is being strong, she is moving on. Most people don’t learn how to do this until after living and losing, time and time again. The sort of people that are like this -- like Esme -- have experienced trauma. 

Whether this happened over time while they were young, or it was something sudden, people have a tendency to react in a few ways. They can shut down and become emotionally stunted, leading to isolation from those around them. The second sort is those who take after whoever or whatever hurt them. They never learned otherwise, so they do what was done to them. The third is the Esme-type. The type that move on. While there are signs of the trauma, of the pain that happened to them, they try to keep on keeping on. It isn’t a bad thing, no. It’s the opposite. 

Esme views life -- Omar, and her travels, and her new life that’s beginning in England -- as a gift. It’s a second chance at life. She is trying to move on. While she is doing the best she can, it isn’t exactly easy. There are hurdles to pass. There are challenges. They pop up at the worst time. Sometimes it feels like she’s back in the basement, like the people surrounding her are filled with bad intentions. She expected this to happen but she tries to keep these things to herself. If any of the people close to her know of all the things she is dealing with, it’s Omar. Milo knows that she is struggling with something, but not exactly what. She wants people to see her as she is now, and not look at her like she is broken.

Esme is still learning about life and the world. She has missed out on so many things, and still has so many things to look forward to. There is love and adventure. The opportunity to take chances and find passions. She is still trying to find herself as a person, though. She is developing and changing and growing. It’s taking time, but it is happening. So long as that is the case, Esme will continue to take things day by day.

[capacity]

I love being in bed clean safe and pretty

[eveninglesbian-deactivated20180]

Would it be too childish of me to say: I want? But I do want: theater, light, color, paintings, wine and wonder.

Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath (via eveninglesbian)

[maliara-deactivated20200409]

[lunarlatte]

[mockesmeralda]

a list of sounds

high heels clacking on the marble tiles of a church

a soda can being opened

a plastic-covered library book being pressed flat, crunching the binding

a marble rolling on a wooden floor

wood popping and crackling as it burns

[paperflowerspress]

I do not need someone to complete me but if you wanted to we could walk next to each other into whatever is coming next.

Meghan Lynn  (via blakebaggott)

[rapunzelie]

things i don’t own enough of • lingerie • candles • make up • other useless things that will get me nowhere in life but I want them

[beverlyroadgoose]

minimalist bedrooms are nice but you’ll never catch my cluttered materialist ass alive

[inahiddenplace]

i want to be the girl of my own dreams

[imperfectio]

[lusteens]

[wnq-writers]

Everyone saw a princess but inside she was on fire, crashing and burning.

tinkermelon (via wnq-writers)

[neverlandswriter]

i. he kisses you like he hates you. like he’s trying to lash out, to kill you with his hate. he kisses you with red hot anger and all you can do is surrender. ii. he kisses you like he understands. understands you, understands himself, you do not know. he kisses you with shades of grey you’ve never known and all you can do is surrender. iii. he kisses you like he needs you. your body melts into his while you silently chant, never leave me. he kisses you with a blinding white flash of passion and all you can do is surrender. iv. he kisses you like he knows. you and him weren’t meant to happen, and now you’re scared that maybe you’re not meant to last. he kisses you with fear that creates a black hole in your chest and all you can do is surrender. v. he kisses you like he’s not ready to let go. you try to kiss him back, but your lips fall slack and you can’t even tell him that you don’t want to leave. he kisses you with such sorrow as blue as your dying veins and all you can do is surrender.

five times kissed // k.s. (via neverlandswriter)