Light Spirit
©Raymond P Sussmann

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Light Spirit
©Raymond P Sussmann
The anatomy of losing everything (and trying to find it again).
I don't usually talk about this, but grief and memory are funny things. When I was a kid, life was comfortable. Lavish, even. But when my Lola passed away, the foundation crumbled. Due to my Lolo’s gambling and lifestyle choices, we watched our properties slip away one by one. I even had a 2-hectare property to my name that ended up foreclosed by the bank.
After that, the universe flipped script. "Brand new" became a concept only allowed on Christmas. Birthdays lost their flavor; no gifts, no celebration, just a reminder of what used to be. Seeing both sides of the coin—wealth and poverty—is a brutal education. It makes you hyper-aware of how much the government steals from us, and how easily people can hurt you. I even got scammed by a relative recently. The betrayal hits different when it’s blood.
Currently, I’m jobless. It feels like the universe hit a hard reset and left me at zero. I'm trying so hard to maintain my optimism and find a stable income, even when the job hunt makes me feel completely out of my depth. I’m trying to keep my cool. Here’s to trying to rebuild from the ashes, even when you're tired.
Taiwan: A Journey of Healing and Rediscovery
This trip was more than just travel and cultural immersion—it was a journey of healing.
As a child, I would often flip through my aunt’s photo albums, mesmerized by her adventures in Taiwan. The landscapes, the bustling streets, the vibrant night markets—all of it seemed so magical. Taiwan held a special place in my heart, not just for its beauty, but for the role it played in my family’s past. This country helped us live a better life before everything changed after my grandmother passed away. Those memories, both cherished and painful, remained with me through the years.
Decades have passed, and I have been fortunate enough to travel to different countries, yet Taiwan never made it onto my list. Perhaps, deep in my subconscious, I was afraid—afraid to confront the emotions tied to the past, afraid to relive the pain of loss. But fate has a way of bringing us full circle, and finally, I found myself stepping foot in Taiwan, ready to face the emotions I had long buried.
Taiwan is truly one of Asia’s most underrated travel destinations. And now that I have experienced it firsthand, I can say with certainty—it is worth visiting, and I will return as soon as I can.
One of the most unforgettable parts of this journey was meeting our local Taiwanese driver, who also became our tour guide. Over the days we spent together, a connection grew. There was a warmth in his presence, a feeling of home that deepened my appreciation for the people of Taiwan. While I didn’t have the opportunity to immerse myself fully with the locals, meeting him was a gift in itself. As a token of gratitude, we printed out photos of our time together and gave them to him before parting ways. I can only hope he received them and knows how much his kindness meant to us.
Traveling is an eye-opening experience, not only because of the cultures we explore but also because of the emotions it stirs within us. It is both beautiful and bittersweet—you meet people who leave an impact on you, yet you never know if you will cross paths again. But perhaps, that is what makes travel so special. It reminds us to cherish the moments, embrace the connections, and carry the lessons we learn along the way.
Xièxiè, Taiwan. Until we meet again.
Tumblr is a home for sad people
"I hope there are days when your coffee tastes like magic, your playlist makes you dance, strangers make you smile, and the night sky touches your soul. I hope there are days when you fall in love with being alive." - Brooke Hampton
Isn’t it weird how perfume can remind you of a time in your life
Miranda July, The First Bad Man
Finally, in a low whisper, he said, 'I think I might be a terrible person.' For a split second I believed him - I thought he was about to confess a crime, maybe a murder.
Then “I realized that we all think we might be terrible people. But we only reveal this before asking someone to love us. It is a kind of undressing.”
-Miranda July, The First Bad Man
Scars on your body show that you have lived; scars on your heart show that you have loved.
Nina Dul
Don’t think about what can happen in a month. Don’t think about what can happen in a year. Just focus on the 24 hours in front of you and do what you can to get closer to where you want to be.
Eric Thomas
Hua Xi, from "Night Drive Through My Own Life"
What is jigglytata?
When you are running without a bra on.
May Sarton, "Of Grief", Selected Poems
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
THE ADDAMS FAMILY (1991) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld
Katherine Larson, from Radial Symmetry; “Gardens in Tunisia”
[Text ID: “There are days that walk through me / and I cannot hold them.”]
10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU (1999) dir. Gil Junger