You got your passion, you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?
2017. I might use this yet, it's not bad at all lmao! It just doesn't really fit anywhere other than the soundtrack it was intended for. At the time I got really into Makoto Shinkai movies and his storytelling.
I remember this being one of those melodies I'd hum while doing chores so I'd have to stop to practice the thing and record on my phone. This one felt easy.
Late post is the style of this blog lmao... I'm posting a few of 2017 ideas that I revisited. They were basically pitches for a creative project that my friends and I started, though it was put on permanent hold when one of us moved a year later. However the learning we do never goes to waste! I never had raw talent in composing/songwriting. I'm more of a performer and coach. I just wish I'd written short ideas like these more frequently throughout the years. I dropped them but it's nice to look back on a certain era of mine even if I think I'm not a strong composer or even if I couldn't accurately play what was on my mind. I think it's important.
It’s been 5+ years since I ran this blog. More accurately, this blog was running me, as if I had something to prove to others. Having read through some of my old posts again, I’m glad I left behind some of these toxic emotions. I always liked writing, I just wish I processed my younger thoughts in a healthier way (who doesn’t). Thoughts so ugly it hurt to read and think about. Thoughts full of doubt, indecisiveness, lies I told myself and others... But there were also warm, unique, and strangely funny thoughts. I never missed an opportunity to praise friends and experiences. I'd come here when I was as happy as when I was sad. I’d come here to give good advice I couldn’t follow myself.
My drafts are full of pep talks, chord progressions, lyrics, college thesis chapters, and my chances at love. Since the height of my casual blogging, I’ve gotten rid of some of my “deep cuts” posts over the years. I’d run away from myself so I could look forward. Only to not run far at all. I’d forgotten many things.
I'd run towards people and experiences as passionately as I'd run away from them. I'd run in circles. Sometimes in small familiar ones. Sometimes in larger, unknown ones. Sometimes full circle.
If I could run through time, I'd reach out a hand to myself in this cold world of mine... To my surprise, today I have a chance to work out things I wasn't able to work out alone over the years. I'm so grateful she reached out. The question is how long I'll stick around and whether I'll stop running for once. This Spring is a refreshing one.
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