The Modern Woman and Her Bullshit Modern Life

Who is the modern woman? What defines a woman? What is her life? What obstacles is she still running in these so-called modern times? Partially ranting, partial lifestyle blog, partial lots of things, but complete and total honesty. Oh, and most importantly this is a NO JUDGEMENT ZONE. Feel free to ask me a "Q" I would love to answer with an "A."

[modernladystruggles]

My point exactly. Stop it, people!

[modernladystruggles]

Can someone show me a dick jockey?

Dick Jockey: someone, usually referring to a female, who sleeps around. She would ride dicks like a jockey rides horses. "Dick Jockey," yet another slang to drive me insane. I heard this coming from a friend of mine, referring to another friend of mine. If you're curious, she wasn't being called a dick jockey but rather the opposite. He was saying she didn't look like one which is apparently awesome. What would a dick jockey look like? Someone let me know once they've figured this out?

[cchristina-hendricks]

'Not as attractive as some of your other secretaries, I guess.'

[comediva-blog]

[redlipclassicalthing-deactivate]

- It’s okay to wear pink, feminine clothes and conform to gender stereotypes if that’s what makes you feel most comfortable and happy.

- It’s okay to appreciate chivalry and old-world charm. If your man holding the door for you makes you feel special and loved, it’s not hurting anybody else.

- It’s okay to fall in love with fairy tales about princes, it’s okay to identify with a damsel in distress and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the princess in the tower.

[faehoneybee]

I constantly see this image being used to try to refute points made about feminism and male privilege. A guy I was talking to today tried to use this image as a way to blame feminism for these things. 

This image doesn’t show how feminists oppress men, it shows how the PATRIARCHY oppresses everyone in society including MEN.

1) More men die in combat because WOMEN AREN’T ALLOWED TO BE IN THE INFANTRY. The military is extremely sexists and this decision was made by MEN not women. 

2) More men are homicide victims because the patriarchy tells them to solve problems and conflicts with physical violence and force.

3) More men die in industrial jobs because these jobs are deemed by society as “manly” jobs. Women are often told that “they aren’t strong enough to work” in those particular fields. 

4) Men are more likely to commit suicide because men are taught that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. If a guy shows any sign of vulnerability or emotion, society attacks his character and calls him a “wimp”, “pansy”. ect. 

5) Society states that women automatically makes you better at taking care of children, hence why people are hesitant to hire a male babysitter. Society still views mothers are care takers and men as financial providers. 

Don’t be mad at feminists, they are addressing all of these issues and more. Be mad at the patriarchy, that constructed these harmful gender roles that hurt both women AND MEN. 

[carrierudzinski]

I Am Enough © Carrie Rudzinski and Terisa Siagatonu   It is 2014. A female student from Duke University is publicly outed for making porn to pay for college. She says porn brings her unimaginable joy. That she feels in control of her body. That she is empowered. But there is something terrifying about a womyn in power. Darling they taught you sex is power sex is debt free sex is all that you are but little girl, don’t you know, they built you up so they could rip you down? So they could show you only belong to the public? The media doesn’t slut shame the men who have fucked her, filmed her. The classmates who threaten to rape her into submission. How the ones who jacked off to her threw the first stone.  The media has taught me that female sexuality is the most powerful thing in the world by how much they want to destroy it. My own birth was the perfect marketing strategy because my body is the best billboard. My body is for sale. My body will feed the masses. Force feed me anorexia and I will learn how to undress in the dark. To un-want my own worth. I have been conditioned to believe that I am imperfect. That my body is an anchor. That my gender is commodity.   Every layer of my identity has taught me what a dead end road looks like. To be a womyn of color is to watch my community choose to fight racism over sexism as if they weren’t part of the same war. It means there are people who believe I should die for being brown, but only AFTER I’m raped. Being a womyn is psychological warfare. When I try to stand up for myself I’m a bitch. When I don’t want to have sex I’m a prude. When I say no I mean yes. When I get angry I’m crazy. When I own all of this I’m a target. Which means I never had a chance. People tell me I’m a powerful womyn. Yet I give birth to the ones who will become the most important people in the world, but I will never be considered one of them. They will hold my womb against me, accuse it of being a liability rather than calling it the first village, the one every child is raised in.  If we grow up to be what we see and men control 97% of our media, then how can women desire to be anything but skin? How do we break the cycle when being an empowered womyn is an open investigation everyone demands proof of?   But I am the proof. This poem is the proof. My voice is a dangerous thing. My voice is faster than they can smother it. My silence will not protect me. It is better to speak our truth than to pretend like we don’t have one. For the womyn who are told that they’re “too much” and “not enough”. For the girls who think that their eating disorder is the prettiest thing about them. For the ones who have the audacity to speak and the ones who will be hurt if they do. To every womyn in this room tonight: No one wants you to know the most common way we give up our power is by thinking we don’t have any.   We make up over half of this country’s population: Imagine the healing our voices could inflict if we started speaking as one. We are one. We are power. We can break the cycle. We are holy. I am enough. I am enough. I am enough.    

[2ntonella-deactivated20180506]

Midtown Miami’s Design District

[modernladystruggles]

Nice Girl

I recently met my—well, let’s just say he’s a guy I’m seeing—parents. The entire time I had to remind myself to take deep breaths; I wanted so badly for them to like me. Though now I’m hilariously confused because of the language barrier, I’m fairly confident they liked me. His mom even called me a “nice girl.” Sigh. He had brought me home—me: the nice girl. He’s that kind of guy, you know, the kind that likes “nice girls.”

I’ve always been labeled the nice girl. Maybe it’s because I went to church (please note I used the past tense) or maybe because I always have my nose in a book or maybe it’s simply because of the way I dress. Sure, there is nothing wrong with being the “nice girl.” The problem is the way the “not nice girls” are viewed. They’re not even called “not nice,” they are simply called names: sluts, whores, trash…the list goes on, but I don’t care to continue. So, while I’m being called the nice girl, I wonder what would happen if these people knew about my not so nice attributes. What if they were to find out: I’m not a virgin, the clothes that I wear to clubs (where I love grinding) might not to be legal, I enjoy tequila a little too much, I think being tied up and spanked is so damn hot, oh and let’s not forget, I also like women. What would happen then? Would I be a bad girl? A slut?

The idea and demand of the nice girl sickens me. Of course, I believe all people, not just women, should be polite and have manners and teach each other with kindness and respect. However, the idea that the only women a man should bring home is the turtleneck wearing, bible thumping type (if you gladly are this type of woman by choice, then good for you and please don’t take offense) is beyond ridiculous. So, here’s to a new and hopeful definition of a nice girl—t is the literal definition, as it should be.

Nice Girl: a woman who treats others with kindness.