this is a review of the first episode of the fifth season of game of thrones the earth shakes harder when you are on it and the rotation of the planet speeds up because of your spinning and every moment you spend not being dizzy is a blessing from God or whoever listens when you close your eyes and think- even if it’s just yourself. the moon is reflected in the water and i used to love the way you talked on the phone i used to love a lot of things about you. 6/10- a sometimes entertaining, mostly forgettable episode this is a review of the two new friends i made this week talking is easy when people are listening and you seem to forget that not everyone closes their eyes and sees your nightmares you seem to forget that nightmares are things that you see in your sleep and that when you are awake your eyes have love in them and no one deserves to hurt you. and i am proud of everyone who has proven they have the power to make themselves better. i am proud of anyone who can make themselves better in a world that almost always seems hell bent on making you much much worse. everyone should listen to the things everyone is saying because they are important and most people deserve to be heard. and if they knew someone was listening i think they’d say better things. and I’m proud of myself for feeling like I’m trying and I’m proud of myself for failing and succeeding very rarely and I’m proud of myself because I know that I have felt just as deeply as anyone else who has ever been alive. 8/10 new friends are great and meeting people is hard because people are very distrustful (with good reason) also I’m difficult to get along with. this is a review of the cashier at the 7/11 i go to every morning this city is alive in ways that I do not understand there are people here who are trying their best at things that probably aren’t worth it a shaking handful of change for a hot dog and a big gulp he does not warily stare at me the way he does other customers and i wonder if it is because of the color of my skin or the relative clarity of my eyes or both and i sometimes feel guilty but i mostly just feel tired 7/10- efficient but a little salty sometimes. I also feel rushed too often for my tastes. This is a review of a week-long anxiety attack caused by a couple actual real things but mostly just the usual crushing existential dread I am only asking for everything from you i am asking for the death of irony and the birth of true love I am asking for you to sext me and then after to tell me you love me and mean it I am only asking for everything you have and everything you will have I am asking for a return to the future that we dreamt of when we were 10 years old when everything looked brighter, everything looked easier, everything looked simpler and we thought our better days were out ahead. do you remember that do you remember getting out of bed because you wanted to see what the day was going to be like, because you weren’t already sure? and I believe every day can be like that again if we let it. I believe that selling our labor, time, and bodily fluid for the profit of others is flawed and i am only asking for an end to all property and all hate forever. I believe people are good at heart and that more people know what it is to love than you give them credit for I believe you are good and that your ideas are worth more than money or power or sex i believe that when you speak i hear everything I’ve been longing for my whole life and i love you with everything thats in me and more and i want more and i want to listen to you speak to me all night and then wake up and hear your voice first thing in the morning i think i am a flower and pretty and i want to dance myself to death i think that if you killed yourself i would be sad forever i love my parents and i will hate it when they are dead i love myself and i will hate it when i am dead i always loved you and i will die before you but if i don’t i will miss you and i will kill myself because the world will be a much worse place without you in it and wherever you go i will follow you wherever you go I will be there whether or not we are holding hands or kissing 4/10- mania is no fun for anyone except the person holding the video camera and the drugs make my feet itch like nothing else this is a review of the microbial ecology test i took on monday i think about where i’d be if it wasn’t for u and it wouldn’t be here sweating in a room full of people fervently scratching pens on paper trying to remember facts about bugs no one has ever seen with their eyes, never will. i don’t know if I’m happy for that i don’t know if i should thank you but i will 82%- thank you. this is a review of the rejection email i got on Tuesday you’re right, my writing does not belong in your publication thank you for your criticism, i will make two of the three changes you recommended and i will never contact you again 8/10- very professional this is a review of the 6 phone calls i got from strange numbers this week they left no messages and i have been very worried they only call when i am asleep and i am very afraid to call them back i am very afraid to call them back i am afraid that the future does not have everything in it i expect it to i am disappointed in the present i am frustrated and embarrassed by the past and I send a thousand texts a day and when i do not get responses i am dying i am dying for someone to love me i will die if you don’t love me this is a review of the email i received on thursday informing me they elected to go with another candidate for their laboratory position i once told you i was a genius and i could do anything and i believed it i used to feel invincible and very powerful i still feel very smart and sometimes i believe i can affect change in the world around me but when i close my eyes i do not feel like a person and i have been googling sensory deprivation tanks and i think I’m going to get into meditation this is a review of the woman who told me she’d kill me for money on okcupid and then deleted her account last sunday, and also the girl at school who said she was going to come over and choke me i really hope you meant it i really hope you can find me i will light candles i will say a prayer i will construct an altar to you and i will love you until i am no longer able to love you, however long that is 10/10- you are a renaissance painting, you are the discovery of mathematics, you are gun powder and penicillin. I’d die for you. this is a review of the week that started at 12 AM april 12th and will end in 75hours I woke up after 11AM every day this week, save Wednesday. I am still in love with at least 3 people who are not in love with me. I am moving along and I am pretty sure the boy at the coffee shop i go to every day at school has a crush on me and i enjoy that. I feel inspired and I have been thinking about love. I have been thinking about purposefulness, earnestness and smiling at people when they are kind. I am trying to be kind and heartfelt and i have been thinking about whether or not I am a fucking joke. I need more sleep I need you to return my text I need a shower and someone who will play with my hair I need something like a hundred dollars and a hug and a thousand dollars and i need you to have listened to everything i just said and if you don’t agree i need you to at least care 5/10
