The Ballad of Glybhwyn Porkeater
It was a bright and sunny day on the shores of Costa del Sol, and Caelestis âCaelâ Tennyo was determined to make the most of it. She had a freshly-mixed drink in one hand, her favorite book in the other, and the rolanberry on top - eye candy. She watched as, off in the distance, her new beau Ganzorig shimmied and jumped his way up the towering Nimble Warrior course. Even from hundreds of fulms away she could see the sweat glistening on the Xaela manâs brow as he wiped it with exhaustion, on his chest as he heaved from the exertion, on his legs as he trampled on the hands of his competition... it was enough to-
With a grimace she was pulled from her reverie by an unexpected present from a passing seagull on her leg. Inwardly cursing the feathered sky-demon, she cleaned up the mess and looked up to see Ganzorig waving from the top of the tower. âHeâs so cute when heâs enervated,â she swooned, turning back to her book.
A few minutes later, Cael was so deeply engrossed by the drama unfolding in the pages of her novel that she was startled by the sound of Ganzorig heavily flopping onto the beach chair next to her. He heaved as he held up two tickets to half-off brunch at the Flying Shark Cafe. âHopefully this is worth all the splinters,â he grumbled in that endearing way of his. Cael excitedly took the coupons, stuck them into her novel as bookmarks, and congratulated her boo on a job well-done.
âYou must be hungry after all that shimmying,â she whispered into his horn, âwant to have dinner at the Missing Member?â
âIâm so hungry I could eat a boar,â he sighed in response.
Cael chuckled, âNot on Vylbrand you wonât!â
Ganzorig raised a silver eyebrow. âAnd why is that?â As a man born and raised on the Azim Steppe, La Nosceaâs apparent obsession with seafood baffled him at times, and he wondered what sort of pork-discriminating law had been passed in the bloody history of the thassalocracy.
âWhy, because of Glybhwyn Porkeater, of course!â
Bright yellow eyes blinked in bewilderment. âCome again?â
Cael chuckled and passed Ganzorig a bottle of rum. âCrack this open and Iâll tell ye the greatest story off the coast of Aldenard.â
Concerned about the sudden shift in Caelâs articulation, Ganzorig nevertheless did as he was told and took a deep swig of the liquor as the Midlander began her story.
âIt all began many, many moons ago... Not sure how many, to be exact. There are varying reports; some say it was decades ago while some say it was as recently as this season. Anyways! There was a Roegadyn man named Glybhwyn.â
âIs that a real name?â Ganzorig asked, knowing it was far from the most important question to be raised here.
âOf course it is,â Cael responded, âthe harder a Sea Wolf name is to spell and pronounce, the more legitimate it is.â
Shrugging in agreement, Ganzorig took another sip of his drink as Cael continued.
âGlybhwyn, like many Roegadyn men of his age, was a fisher. But unlike so many of his peers, Glybhwyn had no love for the taste of the fish caught in the sea. No, his true love was for the fish of the land... pork.â
Somewhat disturbed by the passionate tone with which she said that last word, the Xaela took another mouthful of his rum, desperate for the intoxicating effect to kick in but fearing it never would. Cael took no notice either way and continued on.
âHowever, because the haul of seafood was so plentiful, and the boars so dangerous and hard to hunt, most inns and taverns of La Noscea didnât keep pork-based meals on the menu. So good olâ Glybhwyn, he begins to go out and hunt his own meat, bringing the bounty to the tavernkeeps to cook up for him. But, as you know, Roegadyn men have quite an appetite, and before anyone realized it Glybhwyn had hunted all the boars on the island of Vylbrand to extinction. And thatâs the story of Glybhwyn Porkeater!â
Gulping down the last draught of his drink, and disappointed at the lack of anything more than a slight buzz, Ganzorig threw the empty bottle farther down the coast where it was immediately inhabited by a family of hermit crabs. âCael?â
âI think youâve been out in the sun too long.â
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