As I’m clear, I have no children of my own but I am a product of a divided family as a child, I’ve assisted in the help of raising another’s child, & I can testify as a witness to those who have confided in me about their own thoughts/feelings of their experiences.. Understand there are 2 people u hold responsibility to the affects by this- your child & your partner forever in life.. To be in an “intimate” relationship with the love “of” your life (your husband/wife) is contrast to believe u love your “friend” who is “in” your life (child’s mother/father)...(I would suggest u read that again)..We live in a society where not all things are found to last forever.. Sometimes we realize the individual we chose isn’t indeed the individual we are destined to be. As we all know, there are so many benefits when a child is brought into this world by a loving complete family to support and nurture. However; if the home has been tainted with toxicity, then sometimes to separate ourselves to protect such love & care for that child is a must.. Co-parenting, when done right, is extremely important not only for the child, but also the partners of both parental parties livelihood. Not all separated families need to continue sharing lives “together”.. “Sometimes” it is the separation itself that can actually benefit a more loving environment for both parties.. Yes, it is important that the child grows to understand that both mommy/daddy love them deeply, but it is also important that they clearly understand there’s no “image” of mommy/daddy ever possibly being together again... Children are sponges and they will soak up everything they “see” as their own understanding.. We must be made aware that not only are we respecting the stability of that child’s upbringing, but also respecting the reassurance to our loving lifelong partners as well. Yes, every household is different. Some parties may be ok with it as other parties may not. We must also be made aware that “hidden agendas” can still play a role against us unknowingly. It is a fact that some people, for selfish gain, only want to have u as “part” of their life but never intended to be devoted to forever be “in” your life 😳.. Yes, people still use people in corrupted ways but it doesn’t mean u have to play along.. Boundaries are important as structure is key.. If transparency must be made of the separation, sometimes it is our loving partners who will assist in taking the role of communication amongst our child’s parent.. “Some” parents don’t want to be involved anymore with the other parent thus leaving your current partner to help.. It can be a struggle when someone loves u deeply to find your impactful lifelong experience began with someone else.. I mean, who doesn’t like to be your first one and only?! Yes, they signed up to the package of u and you’re child to love, but it doesn’t mean they signed up the package of a third party who can occasionally disrupt the very environment u strive to create for your own home.. They had their moment to be on the inside & they must now respect that they are indeed on the outside, as they must now have a home of their own to take care of as well respecting the rules and regulations u have in yours..The focus is strictly on the child and nothing more.. No conversations/engagements of anything outside of that child.. It would be beautiful if everyone could sit in the same room and share laughter and joy, but it only takes one small seed of a change to shake everything up.. If it’s pure, everyone will continue to live harmoniously as God is always the center of ALL foundations.. but if this foundation isn’t lead by the center, behold as turmoil awaits.. I hope this helps.. I hope it brings clarity.. & May we all continue to fill this world more with love for ourselves and the future of our children - Mo
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