"[Connor] has sort of been my stability through this."
"He's my emotional support person in life."
The way Hudson called Connor once his "sunshine", it was particularly felt last week. Seeing his face on the big screen in front of him, it was certainly like finding a beacon, in sometimes clouded, or even dark waters, when Hudson's feeling lost. He's the way guiding him back to shore. Back home.
A beautiful being of light that his eyes are instinctively searching for, that his body is immensely yearning for. Cause he is the one thing that keeps him steady. No matter how big the storm, as long as he can find him in the room, as long as he can hold on to him, Hudson knows, to his core, he'll always be safe.
Hudson was certainly deeply moved to see his face on the big screen during the CSA night, cause despite not being Canadian, that's the place Connor belonged to anyway. It's been more than a year now, and yet you know, he still feels the most immense of pride to see their two faces side by side as Shane & Ilya. That's his on-screen partner, and also, as months went by, as the events as well as the challenges became bigger, that's also someone who kinda became like his reall life partner.
The path, he is not walking on his own anymore. No matter how many are surrounding him, how many are supporting him, that's one smile, one hand he's naturally seeking: his soulmate's. That's why when he spoke earlier about reuniting with his "heated rivalry family, and seeing Connor", that felt kinda confusing for so many. While his face was indeed there all night, the fact is, Hudson did not even need to see it at all, cause he's always there, present by his side. He can feel Connor in his chest every minute of every day.
On that stage, when he was at the end of that speech, letting go of that little list as if that had been a script, the people he "had to" thank, and instead from this moment on, just letting his heart talk, openly, beautifully. As he was holding that award, you know he was feeling Connor's hand holding his own. He was there. The way he appeared so vulnerable at that moment, fighting the tears that were threatening to roll on his cheeks, thinking of everything they had experienced together in the past year, thinking of how much he meant in his life. It was written in his eyes, those three simple words: "I love him." (and i'll forever do)
It's all over his face, all the time. Without even being in his physical presence, it's like his Sunshine is living inside, and it's his light piercing through Huddy. The way he's just beaming, in that last moment. Many things change in life, but there's one that'll always remain a certainty: their love for each other. To love without any barriers, without any fears, and be given this love in return, just the same way. Here is probably the greatest treasure one can have.
Little side note: when he said those words "to my honorary Canadian", don't you think a little part of him was thinking of making him a permanent Canadian citizen ? ♡
Evaluating on occasion is better for this phase. You've done the heavy lifting. You've laid the groundwork. Now, you just have to continue to follow through in what you've established. Collect that data over time and course-correct as needed, but you don't need to reinvent the wheel each and every day.
