“Thanks for being alive today.”
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@moirafades
“Thanks for being alive today.”
— Unknown
growing up a girl letting people do things to you for years and years and years means your anger will turn biblical. anger that is incoherent unidentifiable inconsolable
I am doing so well... eating normally and regularly...
I was making a grocery list for the week and was looking up some wieiad videos to get some meal ideas and in my youtube recommended videos i see this extremely restrictive diet being promoted by some middle aged lady doing keto and it sent me spiraling. Now im body checking, panicking, i want to throw away my grocery list and not eat anything anymore because i feel like ive gained. I threw away my scale a while back so i dont know for sure but holy shit...
Anytime i come on this site its because im having toxic thoughts again. Im looking for inspiration pics and thinspo... and also maybe someone to relate to.
Im sick of being triggered by the smallest things. Logically i know all hope isnt lost and i havent started restricting because of this trigger, but then again i skipped dinner today and i was really hungry. I went for my safe food.. which is oddly enough popcorn, and ive drank 10 cups of water since watching the video because it made me very aware of how hungry i am from not eating a proper meal. And i have a rule, instilled in me by my mom, that you dont eat after 7pm... fuck...
i can’t believe i am just going to live until i die. this is all so embarrassing
The contemporary art museum where i live is hiring... i waited tables for years and rage quit due to a mental breakdown. Its been almost a month... it doesnt pay very well at the museum but i wonder if i would be happier.. i doubt i would be good enough to get the job.. maybe its something i should keep an eye on in case i decide to go for it in the future. Lack of self worth is always getting in the way.
𝕾𝖆𝖎𝖑𝖔𝖗 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖓
Felt cute might distance myself from everyone idk
You don’t get it, I want to kill myself because I know I’ll feel this pain for the rest of my life. It will not pass. I don’t want to live like this. Why should I live and what for. It’s not worth it. And I know that I do not have the strength to fight it every single day. That is not living, that’s torture