L4mps Cassette Voice Drama "Night Squad General Meeting"
Note: If you're able to, I really recommend reading this alongside the voice drama audio. Please.
Nagi: Alright Night Squad, I think it’s about time we kicked this meeting into gear.
…At least that’s what I’d like to say, but Netaro still isn’t here. Do you mind entertaining yourselves for a bit while I go find him?
Toi: Okay!
Ryui: Hold on, Hachinoya. It’s actually better if Yowa isn’t here.
Yodaka: Is there something we can’t discuss with him present?
Ryui: Sure is. I wanna talk about how we’re gonna put a stop to those god-fucking-awful inventions of his.
Do you have any idea of the type of shit I’ve been through cause’ve ‘em?
Toi: (I feel bad for Ani-sama…but! There’s CGs that I’m going to miss out on if I can’t see him experimented on!)
Nagi: I know how you feel…I mean, more so than his inventions, sometimes it’s his hunger that makes me fear for my life.
Ryui: He’s roughed you up too, huh? Guess we do see eye to eye sometimes.
Netaro: —The wait iz over, boys!
Ryui: Tch, couldn’t stay away, could he?
Yodaka: A bit late, aren’t you?
Netaro: I was busy working on a new meat bun flavour for you all to try! Feast your eyes on my latest work! Ta-da~!
Toi: Oo, they smell amazing! They must be freshly-made!
Yodaka: Oh, how nice of you to bring us a snack. Let’s eat them while they’re still hot.
Nagi: Thank youuu…*munch*
Ryui: Wait a sec, Toi. Let me check them for poison first.
Netaro: Poison? Have some faith in me...
*L4mps eating sounds*
Nagi: !
Yodaka: Nagi? Are you alright?
Nagi: So…hot…
Ryui: Huh?
Nagi: My body’s…on…fire...
I can’t…control it…
HAH—!
Toi: Oh my gosh! Nagi-kun just threw open his shirt!
Ryui: He already walks around with it barely buttoned up, but now he’s gone and undone it all the way down to his navel!
Nagi: Kabedon~
Netaro…please don’t look away.
Don’t pay attention to anyone else…look at me.
Ryui: W h a t.
Toi: I-It’s really happening! The fabled kabedon and chin lift pose that girls dream of!
Netaro: Ah, except Gii iz shorter than me so the only thing he’z making me look at right now iz the ceiling.
Nagi: Look at me…look at me…
Toi: Wait, isn’t the sexy and self-absorbed way he's acting straight out of that otome game we played yesterday!?
Netaro: Bingo! With these 2D-ifying meat buns, anyone that eats them turns into an otome game character and tries to make me theirs!
Ryui: Wh—WHAT!? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU FEED ME!?
Yodaka: I’ll make you mine~! My, how adorable you are, Netaro~! And those braids…so sweet~!
Ryui: N-Natsume!?
Yodaka: What do you say we get out of here and take a trip downtown~? You and me~?
Toi: This is the type of character who acts frivolous but will love you unconditionally!
Nagi & Yodaka: Kabedon~!
Nagi: Netaro? Won’t you look at me?
Yodaka: Who would you rather have some fun with?
Netaro: KYAAA! I can’t choose~!
Nagi & Yodaka: Kabedon~!
Nagi: Please?
Yodaka: You and me~?
Nagi & Yodaka: Kabedon~!
Nagi: Have you made your choice?
Yodaka: You and me~?
Ryui: Fuck, I’ve gotta do something, I’m gonna be next if I don’t throw up—
—Ggah!
Toi: Ani-sama…?
Netaro: Seems like Ryui’z about to be affected too~?
Ryui: Ne…Netaro...
(My mouth’s…moving on it’s own—)
...Netaro...onii-chan.
Will you play with me?
Toi: AWWWWW!
HHAAHWHHAAWAWAHH—Ani-sama, you’ve…you’ve turned into Otouto-sama!
Netaro: He’z grabbing the hem of my clothes and looking up at me with big round puppy eyes!
Yodaka: My, you’re awfully cute too.
Ryui: If you don’t pay attention to me, I’ll get so lonely…that I’ll cry…
Toi: *hyperventilating sounds* Ani-sama’s crying face!!! *more hyperventilating sounds* Otouto-sama’s—*gasping for air*—crying faaace!!!!
Ryui: Y-You’re making me cr—
—Ggh, ghh, agh, aaaaghgaaAAAAAAAAAA—
*Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!*
Netaro: Ryui’z kabedon-ing the wall with his face!
Toi: Ani-sama!? What’re you doing!? Stop that!!!
Ryui: hah, hah…it’s okay…i’m…all good now...toi…
Netaro: Ooo, he’s turned himself back to normal! Nice job, I’m impressed!
Ryui: you’re…fucking…dead…later…
*Ryui falls to the floor.*
Nagi: —And that’s why we’re going to try and remedy the meeting that fell apart the other day.
Today, I’d like to talk about the transformation that happened to me…so, I actually think it was a pretty good change, hm, yes, what if maybe, we considered eating those meat buns again—
Ryui: NOTHING ABOUT THAT WAS 'GOOD', DUMBASS!!!
Yodaka: I’m afraid I end up with a headache whenever I try to remember what happened—
Toi: (I hope Ani-sama plays a genius-type character next time.)
(I want to hear him say things like “The likelihood of you falling for me is 18000%”~!)
Nagi: Hey, where’s Netaro?
Netaro: —The wait iz over, boys!
Ryui: Fuck, he's here!
Yodaka: A bit late, aren’t you?
Netaro: I was busy working on a new meat bun flavour for you all to try! Feast your eyes on my latest work! Ta-da~!
Fin~











