( * &. – SHANE MADEJ SENTENCE STARTERS.
literally just a bunch of bullshit shane madej from buzzfeed unsolved has said throughout multiple videos. enjoy !
‘ that’s insufferable. i love it. ’
‘ they look like someone just accidentally coughed some eyebrows onto his forehead. ’
‘ i’m ready for death. that’s what makes me me. ’
‘ i’m ready, every room we walk into, to die. ’
‘ do you think he pooped himself? ’
‘ it’s very disrespectful, but it’s human. ’
‘ i think the moon having a boner is about as realistic as ghosts. ’
‘ hey ghouls! the boys are here! ’
‘ hey there demons. it’s me, ya boy. ’
‘ you know what… let it be a mystery. ’
‘ if you don’t like it, you can kiss my apple taters. ’
‘ i have run the permutations through my little computer and all of them say ‘you are fucked.’ ’
‘ oh, it’s fine if people die on christmas eve. ’
‘ what, you’ve never stabbed a guy in the heart and pushed him into the ocean? ’
‘ i might be more scared of puppies than i am of snakes. ’
‘ i look like a weirdo by today’s standards, but that’s okay. i feel the sexiest i’ve ever felt. ’
‘ oh, things are going tits-up. ’
‘ yes, i am floppy, but that’s neither here nor there. ’
‘ everything else you have is shit. ’
‘ i’m not gonna gloat here cause at a certain point i just feel bad for you. ’
‘ do you tell ghost stories after sex? ’
‘ one of my greatest fears is that someone will trick me into doing heroin. ’
‘ i knew it, i’m a slime guy! ’
‘ i’m not saying i’m right about everything, i just feel like i often am right about a lot of things. ’
‘ no, i just want to talk to the demons. ’
‘ i’m gonna lock myself in here with a ghost. ’
‘ i think this demon’s a wimp! ’
‘ rock and roll, buckeroo! ’
‘ hey, look… steal from the rich. do it! ’
‘ can i go into work looking like this? no. this is trash. ’
‘ i think your tummy’s got a demon. ’
‘ i took an improv comedy class once. because i’m a white guy. ’
‘ i’m sad and kinda delirious. ’
‘ i think ben franklin might have been involved in some weird sex parties. ’
‘ it’s a nice sunset, enjoy it. it’s the last one you’re ever going to see. ’
‘ it’s like satan’s cement butthole. ’
‘ time’s a tickin’, show up and murder us. ’
‘ yeah, you know, i like to keep you entertained. ’
‘ oh shit, yeah, what about that, idiot? ’
‘ i bet i could squeeze an apple until it exploded. ’
‘ i’m not trying to do that whole dismiss it thing, but… i’m dismissing it. ’
‘ shadows do tend to follow you, though… that’s sort of how they work. ’
‘ i’m taking a selfie with some demons, yo! ’
‘ ghost 101: one, knock book of shelf. two, uhh, hold a candlestick in the middle of the hallway. three… sheets. ’
‘ we’re here for the cult stuff! we saw the ad on craigslist. ’
‘ i’m ghost proof, baby! ’
‘ honey, we gotta jazz it! ’
‘ whatever, demon’s racist. i don’t respect this demon. ’
‘ i’m gonna close the door and leave. ’
‘ if you’re possessed, we’re not taking you home. ’
‘ i worked very hard to be this tall! ’
‘ once again not a single scratch on me, so that’s disappointing. ’
‘ i think they would’ve been down to clown. ’
‘ ever since then, i’ve been kind of terrified of avocados. ’
‘ see this guys ass, by the way? ’
‘ i’ll kill you if you touch my dog. ’
‘ i don’t want to be a ghost hunter! this is all bullshit! ’
‘ i don’t want you to have like a full mental break. maybe close. close would be good. ’