I'm having a really tough time with my mom and dad. They are awesome grandparents, and I am so grateful that when I started working full time, my mom watched Sterling for free every day. While I was so very thankful, he was becoming spoiled and was acting out at home, so because of that (and another circumstance that I won't go into but my reaction was very justifiable for it), we decided to put him in daycare. It was a big ordeal between my mom and I, but she ultimately relented because in the end, he is MINE and MY HUSBAND'S child, and she had no feet to stand on in this. I told her that she could still watch him every once in a while, but when I found out that Sterling went from being uncontracted to contracted at the daycare (very typical to happen when summer starts), I told her she could only watch him overnight. That was all fine and dandy, and last night she picked him up from daycare and had him overnight. I even let her keep him for longer today than was planned. But, she had these plans to take him huckleberry picking, and since they couldn't today, and tomorrow I told her he can't because we have family friends we are visiting, she just assumes they will have him next weekend. All I said was, "We'll see what we are doing." instead of flat out saying no to avoid an argument. I'm pissed off, though. She always has to push things. Yeah I know it just sounds like she's just a loving grandma, but I'm leaving out a lot. My mom has control issues, especially concerning me. Whenever nothing seems to go right in her life, she has to try to control my life to feel like she has power over something. I finally realized it after I moved out of the house, and it really hit me hard after becoming a mother. I quit taking her crap and started calling her on it after I had my son, which makes her go into pity party guilt trip mode. Thankfully, I have Seth to turn to when my mom pulls this crap, and he helps me maintain my conviction and understand that no, I do NOT have to feel guilty about making choices that are in my family's best interests. Probably the only reason I am typing this is because he's working right now and I can't vent to him. My mom needs to understand that this isn't some parenting arrangement between us and them. She doesn't get "partial custody" or "weekends" with MY child. I work all week, and only get to see my son for a few hours each day before I take him to daycare and before he goes to bed. I have no problem with the occasional overnight or visit, I do think he needs to see his grandparents. He loves them, I'd never take them away from him. But it can't be every weekend. He needs to be with his parents first and foremost, and weekends are the only times we get to spend all day with him. I will NOT give that up, and I know Seth would never let it happen either. I try to be reasonable and understanding, I try to give her as much time with him as I feel they both need, but it's not cool of her to assume that she can just have him whenever she feels like. He's MY son, and I need him so much more than she does. I also think she may be manipulating Sterling to get him to not want to come home or go to daycare, but that may just be my pregnancy hormones and I don't want to throw unfounded accusations at her, especially since it's not uncommon for a toddler to be sad to leave Grandma's when they're having fun. Sorry about the long rant... I just needed to get that out.
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