Our little princess, Mallory, is here, and our family is now complete!

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Kiana Khansmith
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Peter Solarz
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@mommazozabelle
Our little princess, Mallory, is here, and our family is now complete!
Okay so I have been pretty MIA from Tumblr for a while, but since I can't vent this on FB (I want to keep my labor mostly secret until after baby girl is born) I'm back for a second haha. I have been having contractions since this weekend, and Monday they were very regular, so I went in to L&D and discovered that I am 2 cm dilated. But, after 2 hours of monitoring, I made absolutely no progress, so I got sent home. I keep getting semi-regular contractions, ranging from mild to painful but they always eventually taper off at some point, so I don't think it's labor yet. It's pissing me off, though. I keep thinking "Oh they've been 5 minutes apart for 2 hours and they are getting stronger, maybe I should call!" but then... They mellow out. Getting sick of it. I don't want to go in just to have them tell me it's not really labor yet, so I haven't called. I told my husband that these contractions are so confusing, I probably won't go in until either my water breaks or I see hair, lol... So done with this waiting game. Momma is sick and tired.
I gotta rant for a second here. I snore. I always have, probably always will. No, I don't have tonsils or adenoids anymore so those aren't the issue. When I am pregnant, my snoring is even worse. This is something my husband is aware of, and dealt with throughout my first pregnancy. Sometimes he would sleep on the couch, it got so bad. I felt bad, but there is literally NOTHING I can do about it. When I'm not pregnant, and he can't get to sleep from my snoring, he'll nudge me a bit and the snoring will stop. If it woke me up, it didn't bug me because I understood that it was making it hard for him to sleep. But right now, I am 33 weeks pregnant AND I have had a sinus infection for the past 2 weeks that just won't go away no matter what I try. My belly is so huge, my body (my back in particular) aches horribly, the baby kicks me all night long, and as soon as I finally get into a comfortable position in bed, I have to go pee. Now, on top of all of that, my sinuses are in terrible pain. Needless to say, my snoring has become a force to be reckoned with. So my husband nudges me throughout the night, waking me up multiple times. When I wake up, I feel all the aches, my nose and throat feel like sandpaper has been rubbed through them all night. Sometimes I notice that I have to pee, and even if I don't have to go that bad, I won't be able to get back to sleep unless I go all the way downstairs to relieve myself from the annoying pressure. I'm getting so fucking sick of it. Our son has a full size bed that he can sleep in with him. He can get away from my snoring. I can't fucking get away from the aches and pains. He could easily get restful sleep. I'm lucky to get an hour of it even WITHOUT him constantly waking me up from my snoring. I need to find a way to get this through to him without being a bitch about it... But I am so angry and tired, it's going to be damn near impossible. Just gotta say, I am so happy that this is my last pregnancy. I never want to go through this crap again.
I'm not a spiritual or religious person, but I would like to call our current situation a blessing. We lost our baby last December, and now our baby girl is due this December. What would have been a really hard month to get through is now a time for excitement and new life... It's amazing how things work our sometimes ❤️
Third Trimester! Baby girl is doing amazing! She's making it difficult to sleep or sit comfortably, but I forgive her haha... Glucose test is on Thursday. Not terribly excited for that, but I am feeling pretty great, so I'm hopeful I avoided GD this time. I was feeling terrible around this time when I was pregnant with my son before I found out I had GD. Keeping my fingers crossed!
And here we have our final addition, a little LADY! Yay, I got my wish for one of each! So happy! :)))
My husband seducing me from the bedroom.
I'm having a really tough time with my mom and dad. They are awesome grandparents, and I am so grateful that when I started working full time, my mom watched Sterling for free every day. While I was so very thankful, he was becoming spoiled and was acting out at home, so because of that (and another circumstance that I won't go into but my reaction was very justifiable for it), we decided to put him in daycare. It was a big ordeal between my mom and I, but she ultimately relented because in the end, he is MINE and MY HUSBAND'S child, and she had no feet to stand on in this. I told her that she could still watch him every once in a while, but when I found out that Sterling went from being uncontracted to contracted at the daycare (very typical to happen when summer starts), I told her she could only watch him overnight. That was all fine and dandy, and last night she picked him up from daycare and had him overnight. I even let her keep him for longer today than was planned. But, she had these plans to take him huckleberry picking, and since they couldn't today, and tomorrow I told her he can't because we have family friends we are visiting, she just assumes they will have him next weekend. All I said was, "We'll see what we are doing." instead of flat out saying no to avoid an argument. I'm pissed off, though. She always has to push things. Yeah I know it just sounds like she's just a loving grandma, but I'm leaving out a lot. My mom has control issues, especially concerning me. Whenever nothing seems to go right in her life, she has to try to control my life to feel like she has power over something. I finally realized it after I moved out of the house, and it really hit me hard after becoming a mother. I quit taking her crap and started calling her on it after I had my son, which makes her go into pity party guilt trip mode. Thankfully, I have Seth to turn to when my mom pulls this crap, and he helps me maintain my conviction and understand that no, I do NOT have to feel guilty about making choices that are in my family's best interests. Probably the only reason I am typing this is because he's working right now and I can't vent to him. My mom needs to understand that this isn't some parenting arrangement between us and them. She doesn't get "partial custody" or "weekends" with MY child. I work all week, and only get to see my son for a few hours each day before I take him to daycare and before he goes to bed. I have no problem with the occasional overnight or visit, I do think he needs to see his grandparents. He loves them, I'd never take them away from him. But it can't be every weekend. He needs to be with his parents first and foremost, and weekends are the only times we get to spend all day with him. I will NOT give that up, and I know Seth would never let it happen either. I try to be reasonable and understanding, I try to give her as much time with him as I feel they both need, but it's not cool of her to assume that she can just have him whenever she feels like. He's MY son, and I need him so much more than she does. I also think she may be manipulating Sterling to get him to not want to come home or go to daycare, but that may just be my pregnancy hormones and I don't want to throw unfounded accusations at her, especially since it's not uncommon for a toddler to be sad to leave Grandma's when they're having fun. Sorry about the long rant... I just needed to get that out.
Much better day today! Also, I've been thinking about labor a little bit. With my son, since he was 6 weeks early, I had the epidural done to reduce the amount of stress that I was already going through. It was amazing, and I have been a heavy advocate of the epidural ever since Haha. But, this time around, I think I might want to do it without it, even if it's just to solidify the fact that this is our LAST baby. Plus, I would be able to move around during and after labor, which would be amazing. On the other hand, though, I remember the pain I felt before they put the epidural in. It hurt so bad, and the fact that it would get even WORSE than that? Well... Let's just say I am open to changing my mind hahaha. We'll see! It's kind of fun to think about 😊
I'm having a really rough time of things right now. I had a breakdown at work from the stress, and now I am sitting here emotionally drained and dreading going back to work today. I don't want to be "the girl who cries a lot" at work, but it's looking like that is what I am... I'm just weak :( Seth snuggled me last night and was really understanding. He's not one for snuggling in general, but if I am feeling down he does whatever he can to make me feel better. He's wonderful... I really am so lucky. I don't want to feel sad. I want to just get over it and move on. Which is what I AM forcing myself to do... But if I could justify it, I would call in today and sit and wallow in my misery. Thankfully, I have responsibilities that are more important than my current emotional instability. I can't afford to wallow.
Not that saying this will do any good, but QUIT FOLLOWING ME, PORN BLOGS. Seriously, the whole "preggophelia" crap is fucking disgusting. I don't want any part in it, and I block any dumb porn blog that even LIKES my stuff.
Jeez, didn't expect to pop out this much by now! I thought it was fat, but since I have barely gained much weight, I guess we really so have a bump, everyone! I'm feeling flutters every now and then, but I'm impatient for the kicks. The backaches, fatigue, and constipation is whooping me, especially at work. I'm trying to power through it all, though. I'm definitely NOT feeling the "glow", though. I was expecting the second trimester to be sweet relief, but the morning sickness has been taken over by a slough of other annoying symptoms. Just can't catch a break this pregnancy... One of my pregnancy apps says baby is on day #112, and I have 168 days left of pregnancy. I kind of like the count down! Right now it feels like and eternity, but I'm only 28 days away from being halfway through, which is pretty cool! Oh, and this Friday I have to start getting my progesterone shots, and have to get them weekly until 36 weeks. I'm not exactly thrilled about it, but if it keeps me from going in to preterm labor like I did with my son, it'll be worth it.
In the back of my mind, I know something could still go wrong... But I'm pushing all that aside because right now it finally feels real. We are FINALLY getting our second baby! We made it through the hardest part... Now I can stop worrying and allow myself to get excited!
Heart rate is 155 bpm :) Still sitting here in the room waiting for the doctor to come in, but I am beyond happy. Trying not to cry from relief Haha.
The cheesy photo I will be posting to Facebook tomorrow! I am so excited, it's ridiculous! I can finally quit hiding and share my excitement with everyone!
13 weeks, today! Which means I've basically reached the second trimester... In two days I have my doc's appointment, where I am hoping so badly that I get to hear this little one's beating heart! I'm still so nervous... My uterus area is tender, and I still feel morning sickness from time to time. But if all goes well on Wednesday, I have to find a cute way to share the news on Facebook! I'm a little nervous about it, because I think there might still be people on Facebook who never knew I miscarried and might get confused... But as my husband said, "They'll figure it out. And if they say something about it, they are dumb and insensitive and don't matter anyways." Haha he's kind of a meanie... But I love him.