Welcome To This Rock I Guess I Live On Now

I am Momus, god of Criticism, Mockery, and Satire. I lived on mount Olympus until my third cousin twice removed and supreme lord of the universe, Zeus, threw me down to earth for criticizing him. And frankly, being a god of satire (political and otherwise) there’s no better place for me!

[hekate-offical]

it would be cunty if harry styles pierced his extra nipples

[house-offical]

There’s something wrong with this post

[hekate-offical]

slander

[house-offical]

m-man? Collect his p-pages?

[hekate-offical]

WRONG due to the fact that it’s pridemonth they go by they slash them and instead of collecting pages they collect pronouns

[house-offical]

Dw I support you Ilikemender person

[hekate-offical]

oh because u have so much in common don’t u? GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

[house-offical]

IM NOT IM NOT IM NOT IM NOT IM NOT I WILL NEVER BE A GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY

[hekate-offical]

if ur not gay then what’s the meaning of this

[momus-official]

Sometimes I miss Olympus. Sure everyone hated me (because I was too honest about what I thought of people), but it was home. Greece isn’t the same, America isn’t the same, no earthly place can be truly like where I came from. Earth sucks. People suck. All of it sucks. Why is everything so fucking bad down here? Sure Olympus wasn’t much better, but at least I was home, and at least I got to talk to my family who would tolerate me.

…

@og-aaaaaaaaaa how is everything up there, sister? Still as funny as I remember?

[og-aaaaaaaaaa]

....who are you?

FAKER! I AM MOMUS, WHO ARE YOU? APATE? DOLUS? WHICH TRICKSTER ARE YOU?

...regardless, Nyx is no longer a God, my wife left me and Erebus is dead.

[momus-official]

Ah. I wish I hadn’t asked. Though this other Me is extremely amusing. Least favorite thing about Zeus, go.

[best-trickster-god]

I dunno, his sexual tendencies? I haven't been on Olympus properly for a while. Also are you one of the me's that split off when I died last time?

[momus-official]

Might be, actually. Anyway, yeah, I’d say the same. The stupid fucking beard is a close second.

[best-trickster-god]

Are you fucking serious? How is the beard second? His abandonment and cruelty towards children isn't higher than that?

[momus-official]

Of course I’m not serious. There’s a mountain of shit between “sexual predator” and “shitty old man beard.”

[best-trickster-god]

*He spins his staff behind his back*

Of course, perfect excuse. What do you do anyway?

[momus-official]

Tell jokes, look good and make fun of people who objectively deserve it. And you?

[best-trickster-god]

Depression, look better and criticise people, particularly myself in recent years.

[momus-official]

Yeah self criticism can be a very deep hole to fall into. Haven’t really figured that one out yet. Not sure if I really ever will. Anyway, I gotta go soon. Hope you do better with all that than I do, Me.

[momus-official]

Sometimes I miss Olympus. Sure everyone hated me (because I was too honest about what I thought of people), but it was home. Greece isn’t the same, America isn’t the same, no earthly place can be truly like where I came from. Earth sucks. People suck. All of it sucks. Why is everything so fucking bad down here? Sure Olympus wasn’t much better, but at least I was home, and at least I got to talk to my family who would tolerate me.

…

@og-aaaaaaaaaa how is everything up there, sister? Still as funny as I remember?

[og-aaaaaaaaaa]

....who are you?

FAKER! I AM MOMUS, WHO ARE YOU? APATE? DOLUS? WHICH TRICKSTER ARE YOU?

...regardless, Nyx is no longer a God, my wife left me and Erebus is dead.

[momus-official]

Ah. I wish I hadn’t asked. Though this other Me is extremely amusing. Least favorite thing about Zeus, go.

[best-trickster-god]

I dunno, his sexual tendencies? I haven't been on Olympus properly for a while. Also are you one of the me's that split off when I died last time?

[momus-official]

Might be, actually. Anyway, yeah, I’d say the same. The stupid fucking beard is a close second.

[best-trickster-god]

Are you fucking serious? How is the beard second? His abandonment and cruelty towards children isn't higher than that?

[momus-official]

Of course I’m not serious. There’s a mountain of shit between “sexual predator” and “shitty old man beard.”

[best-trickster-god]

*He spins his staff behind his back*

Of course, perfect excuse. What do you do anyway?

[momus-official]

Tell jokes, look good and make fun of people who objectively deserve it. And you?

[momus-official]

Sometimes I miss Olympus. Sure everyone hated me (because I was too honest about what I thought of people), but it was home. Greece isn’t the same, America isn’t the same, no earthly place can be truly like where I came from. Earth sucks. People suck. All of it sucks. Why is everything so fucking bad down here? Sure Olympus wasn’t much better, but at least I was home, and at least I got to talk to my family who would tolerate me.

…

@og-aaaaaaaaaa how is everything up there, sister? Still as funny as I remember?

[og-aaaaaaaaaa]

....who are you?

FAKER! I AM MOMUS, WHO ARE YOU? APATE? DOLUS? WHICH TRICKSTER ARE YOU?

...regardless, Nyx is no longer a God, my wife left me and Erebus is dead.

[momus-official]

Ah. I wish I hadn’t asked. Though this other Me is extremely amusing. Least favorite thing about Zeus, go.

[best-trickster-god]

I dunno, his sexual tendencies? I haven't been on Olympus properly for a while. Also are you one of the me's that split off when I died last time?

[momus-official]

Might be, actually. Anyway, yeah, I’d say the same. The stupid fucking beard is a close second.

[best-trickster-god]

Are you fucking serious? How is the beard second? His abandonment and cruelty towards children isn't higher than that?

[momus-official]

Of course I’m not serious. There’s a mountain of shit between “sexual predator” and “shitty old man beard.”

[momus-official]

Sometimes I miss Olympus. Sure everyone hated me (because I was too honest about what I thought of people), but it was home. Greece isn’t the same, America isn’t the same, no earthly place can be truly like where I came from. Earth sucks. People suck. All of it sucks. Why is everything so fucking bad down here? Sure Olympus wasn’t much better, but at least I was home, and at least I got to talk to my family who would tolerate me.

…

@og-aaaaaaaaaa how is everything up there, sister? Still as funny as I remember?

[og-aaaaaaaaaa]

....who are you?

FAKER! I AM MOMUS, WHO ARE YOU? APATE? DOLUS? WHICH TRICKSTER ARE YOU?

...regardless, Nyx is no longer a God, my wife left me and Erebus is dead.

[momus-official]

Ah. I wish I hadn’t asked. Though this other Me is extremely amusing. Least favorite thing about Zeus, go.

[best-trickster-god]

I dunno, his sexual tendencies? I haven't been on Olympus properly for a while. Also are you one of the me's that split off when I died last time?

[momus-official]

Might be, actually. Anyway, yeah, I’d say the same. The stupid fucking beard is a close second.

[momus-official]

Sometimes I miss Olympus. Sure everyone hated me (because I was too honest about what I thought of people), but it was home. Greece isn’t the same, America isn’t the same, no earthly place can be truly like where I came from. Earth sucks. People suck. All of it sucks. Why is everything so fucking bad down here? Sure Olympus wasn’t much better, but at least I was home, and at least I got to talk to my family who would tolerate me.

…

@og-aaaaaaaaaa how is everything up there, sister? Still as funny as I remember?

[og-aaaaaaaaaa]

....who are you?

FAKER! I AM MOMUS, WHO ARE YOU? APATE? DOLUS? WHICH TRICKSTER ARE YOU?

...regardless, Nyx is no longer a God, my wife left me and Erebus is dead.

[momus-official]

Ah. I wish I hadn’t asked. Though this other Me is extremely amusing. Least favorite thing about Zeus, go.

[momus-official]

Sometimes I miss Olympus. Sure everyone hated me (because I was too honest about what I thought of people), but it was home. Greece isn’t the same, America isn’t the same, no earthly place can be truly like where I came from. Earth sucks. People suck. All of it sucks. Why is everything so fucking bad down here? Sure Olympus wasn’t much better, but at least I was home, and at least I got to talk to my family who would tolerate me.

…

@og-aaaaaaaaaa how is everything up there, sister? Still as funny as I remember?

[baddingtonbitch]

made this in protest of censorship

[momus-official]

OOC: Slowly realizing that this blog basically requires me to get political on the internet, which is like painting a bullseye on my forehead in a shooting range

[momus-official]

@zeus-offical

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good to see you again! (Not really, I actually find you pretty fucking disgusting)

[zeus-offical]

go fuck yourself + who the hell even are you

[momus-official]

I actually have other people to fuck who are consenting, unlike you, L

[momus-official]

@zeus-offical

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good to see you again! (Not really, I actually find you pretty fucking disgusting)