Official Monkey Police Matters

[monkeypoliceofficial]

I ate him

🚨WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨 WHAT! 🚨

[monkeypoliceofficial]

Hey, it's okay. Everyone makes mistakes. What's a little police brutality between friends?

🚨ok! Ok! Ok! Fortunately Suspect only Slightly Wet! But Totally apprehended! sometimes it's necessary the use of force!🚨

[monkeypoliceofficial]

🚨we maybe shot Someone!😲🚨

[monkeypoliceofficial]

suspicious individual has approached baby monkey!!!

🚨 OK DONT WORRY WE ARE APPROACHING VERY VERY QUICKLY WEAPONS ARE DRAWN AND SAFETIES OFF 🚨 

[monkeypoliceofficial]

I saw a mysterious individual give baby monkey the car keys and some beer. I think this was a setup.

🚨Ok! Ok. Ok. Ok. ok. ok. Ok. ok!! Well life is actually about choices🚨

[monkeypoliceofficial]

🚨Babymonkey is now in custody and has booked in at the Lil Monkeys Juvenile Detention Center.

He is being charged with two counts of reckless endangerment, one count of driving while under the influence of alcohol, one count of grand theft auto, and one count of being criminally adorable while committing all of the above crimes which honestly makes this all really complicated!!!!!!! No questions at this time thank you.🚨

[monkeypoliceofficial]

Baby monkey is drunk driving. Shoot him.

🚨WE ARE EN ROUTE LOCKED AND LOADED🚨

[monkeypoliceofficial]

a guy who looked like this 🐒 struck me across the face and stole my shoes. :(

🚨UNFORTUNATELY NOT MUCH WE CAN DO :(🚨

[babymonkeyofficial]

I HATE you babymonk ey

i do not gibe A care :)

[monkeypoliceofficial]

🚨BREAKING NEWS: BABYMONKEY STUNS IN SHATTERING CLAPBACK TO HATEFUL MESSAGEs🚨

[monkeypoliceofficial]

Fuck you pig, cloth mother is a good mother! ALL CHILDREN NEED TO BE TAUGHT TO GAMBLE!

so yeah we are the Monkey Police so please keep this in mind Ok so if you have a tip for the Pig Police please direct it to their tip line @pigpoliceofficial

[monkeypoliceofficial]

I got robbed

🚨um. ….Ok ,um. Ok! Ok!. Ok!OkOk.. ok! Ok! Ok!🚨

[monkeypoliceofficial]

🚨OFFICIAL MONKEY POLICE UPDATE🚨

This just in from the lower courts of Wisconsin: speaking on behalf of Cloth Mother this morning, her attorney has confirmed she will accept a plea deal in exchange for no time served behind bars.

The deal includes, among other things, mandatory counseling for gambling addiction and mandatory family therapy with Wire Mother and Baby Monkey.

[monkeypoliceofficial]

🚨OFFICIAL MONKEY POLICE UPDATE🚨

Cloth Mother was apprehended this afternoon, she was located at a Wendy’s near Cottage Grove enjoying the new Takis Fuego meal. She did not resist arrest. Several members of the Monkey Police Special Baby Task Force were also able to try the new Wendy’s Takis Fuego Meal and reported that it’s actually really really really good.

We’d like to thank the public for all of the concern and assistance during our search for Baby Monkey, who is now safe in his enclosure with Wire Mother.

More to follow in the coming days.

[monkeypoliceofficial]

THEYRE AT A CASINO

🚨WE ARE EN ROUTE 🚨

[monkeypoliceofficial]

i heard that cloth mother and wire mother are actually cosmically bound to a doomed yuri timeline which would explain why these events are unfolding as they are.

Wow ok please be advised we areLooking into this

[monkeypoliceofficial]

i heard cloth mother is staying close to wire mother. watching

We can’t visualize this Please provide an artist rendition for verification at your earliest convenience

[monkeypoliceofficial]

would you consider finding cloth mother. Monkey business

As mentioned in our previous news blast we are currently on a nationwide search for Cloth Mother. We are deploying every agent in our arsenal, we have monkey officers putting up flyers, monkey officers knocking on doors and monkey officers driving around cute little cars going wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo!

Please continue sending tips, photos, eyewitness accounts, even drawings help. Anything helps.