redamancy — a love returned in full; an act of loving the one who loves you; the act of loving in return
pairing — f!reader x akaashi keiji (post timeskip)
warnings! — modern au, BLENDED smau, post timeskip au, fluff, crack, strangers-to-lovers, miscommunication, angst/comfort, might be ooc, toxic relationships, mentions of alcohol, intoxication, swearing, commitment issues, casual hookups, suggestive content, occasional questionable / dark humour, sexual jokes, background iwaoi, kagehina, kuroken, etc. [will update if there’s more!]
status — completed! ⋆˚✿˖°
sypnosis — you’ve never really been the type for commitment. you have some occasional hookups here and there, but you’ve never had or been in a proper relationship since your early days of university. after bokuto had invited his high school friends to an after party, you find yourself talking to his friend to try and ground yourself in the midst of the chaos of the party. he’s the complete opposite of you, but hey, he’s not so bad, huh?
a/n — i tend to write a lot for written chapters, just a heads up cz some of u might be expecting short written chapters since it’s an smau.. im sorry! its to build the story:( thanks for reading, have a great day ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
Being passively suicidal is funny as fuck like yeah i don't plan on doing anything and knowing me i never will but the idea of a gun to my head sounds really fucking good right now.
My name is Saja. I’m a wife, a mother, and a woman who once believed her story would be simple. I thought my days would be filled with watching my daughter grow — from her first smile to her first steps — surrounded by the small joys of everyday life.
But life had other plans.
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War has returned to our home. Again. And once again, we find ourselves living under skies that never seem to rest.
There was a moment — a fragile, breathless moment — when the bombs paused and the world seemed to remember us. It gave us hope. We thought maybe, just maybe, we could start to rebuild. But now, we are back in the dark — hiding, holding on, praying.
I’m writing this not as someone seeking pity, but as a mother who has no other choice but to speak.
Imagine holding your baby in the middle of the night, not because she cried, but because the world outside roared too loud for either of you to sleep. Imagine whispering bedtime stories not to lull her into dreams, but to keep the fear from settling into her tiny bones.
This is my life.
This is my daughter’s life.
And even now — especially now — I believe in softness. I believe in kindness. Because when everything else is taken from you, hope becomes the most valuable thing you have.
Why I’m Reaching Out Our home has been damaged. Our lives changed. But through it all, my daughter wakes up every morning with a smile. She reaches for me with trust, with love, with faith that I will keep her safe.
That’s why I keep going.
I’ve launched a campaign to ask for help — not because it’s easy, but because silence is no longer an option. I am asking for support not just for me, but for my baby, and for the quiet strength of so many mothers like me who are fighting, every single day, to hold their families together.
How You Can Help: 🤍 Help us restore parts of our home so we can live with dignity 🤍 Support women and mothers in Gaza with access to care and resources 🤍 Keep the light of hope alive for a generation born in the shadows of war
💛 If you can, please support our journey here:
My name is Saja. I am a mother, a wife, and just one of many women in Gaza trying to hold on — to hope, to my family, and to a life that no
If you can’t give, please consider sharing. Your voice might be the reason someone else hears ours.
From My Heart to Yours Maybe our lives are worlds apart. Maybe you’ve never lived through war. But if you’ve ever held a child and wished the world could be better for them — then you understand more than you know.
I don’t want my daughter to grow up thinking the world turned away.
Please, if you’ve read this far — thank you. Thank you for seeing us. Thank you for caring. We are still here. Still hoping. Still holding on to every kind act like it’s a lifeline.
💔🇵🇸 My Daughter Was Born Under Bombs — I'm Just Trying to Keep Her Alive
My name is Abdulmajid.
I got married one month before the war.
Those were beautiful days — full of hope, love, and simple dreams.
I dreamed of a small home, a quiet family, and a baby girl I could hold without fear.
But the war came…
Suddenly. Brutally.
My mother was killed.
My brother was killed.
Children in my family were taken by the bombs.
My home was destroyed.
And my work stopped completely.
Then… in the middle of this nightmare, my baby girl was born.
A tiny soul, innocent, unaware of the war.
She cries from hunger, from cold, from the sounds of bombs shaking what’s left of our walls.
Today, I’m a father with almost nothing…
Fighting every day to find flour, milk, or even a small meal to feed my child.
Prices are sky-high — a single 25kg bag of flour can cost $800.
There is no work. No income. No safety. No stability.
I write this from under siege, hoping my heart will reach yours.
My name is Abedmajed Elderawi, and I live in Gaza with what remains of my once large and loving family.
Even $1 can make a difference.
It can feed a child, buy milk, or bring a moment of peace.
Be the heart that reaches Gaza. Be the hand that saves.
📌 Please share this post. Let our voices be heard — not buried under rubble.
Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #537 )✅️
💔🇵🇸 My Daughter Was Born Under Bombs — I'm Just Trying to Keep Her Alive
My name is Abdulmajid.
I got married one month before the war.
Those were beautiful days — full of hope, love, and simple dreams.
I dreamed of a small home, a quiet family, and a baby girl I could hold without fear.
But the war came…
Suddenly. Brutally.
My mother was killed.
My brother was killed.
Children in my family were taken by the bombs.
My home was destroyed.
And my work stopped completely.
Then… in the middle of this nightmare, my baby girl was born.
A tiny soul, innocent, unaware of the war.
She cries from hunger, from cold, from the sounds of bombs shaking what’s left of our walls.
Today, I’m a father with almost nothing…
Fighting every day to find flour, milk, or even a small meal to feed my child.
Prices are sky-high — a single 25kg bag of flour can cost $800.
There is no work. No income. No safety. No stability.
I write this from under siege, hoping my heart will reach yours.
My name is Abedmajed Elderawi, and I live in Gaza with what remains of my once large and loving family.
Even $1 can make a difference.
It can feed a child, buy milk, or bring a moment of peace.
Be the heart that reaches Gaza. Be the hand that saves.
📌 Please share this post. Let our voices be heard — not buried under rubble.
Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #537 )✅️
i’ve found there’s never a point arguing with my mom because she has her opinion and it cannot be changed. no matter what. in her head, im this dumb little girl who doesn’t know anything and in my head she is so strong and stubborn and so stuck in her ways.
The void state, aka pure consciousness or the "I am" state, is simply you being your true, original self: pure consciousness, nothing more. It’s not a magical place. It’s your natural state, your home, where you always return because it’s what you are.
You are pure consciousness, an energy experiencing the universe. Right now, you’re in a physical body with a name, experiencing senses like touch, smell, sight, taste, and hearing. But in the void state, none of that exists. There’s no body, no mind, no thoughts, emotions, beliefs, traumas, or labels. It’s just you: pure consciousness, existing. You’re simply you in your natural state.
This isn’t strange or special. When you’re not playing the role of a human, you’re just consciousness. There’s nothing more “you” than this state.
The void state or pure consciousness is NOT:
• SATS
• Falling asleep
• Meditating
• Floating in nothingness
• Having a sleeping body and an awake mind
• Being in theta, beta, or gamma states
• Deep relaxation
• A manifestation method
• A transition from conscious to subconscious mind
• The center of your mind
All of the above are completely incorrect. The void state is simply BEING consciousness. You’re not floating, you’re not in a place, you’re not asleep, you’re not meditating, you’re not in nothingness—you’re just consciousness.
What is the void for? What are the benefits?
• You fully connect with who you’ve always been.
• Absolute peace.
• You can manifest anything instantly.
Examples of things you can manifest:
• Eliminate depression, anxiety, or any mental disorder.
• Change your past.
• Change your appearance.
• Alter your genetics.
• Manifest waking up in this state every night.
• Manifest your future.
• Shift instantly to another reality.
• Have lucid dreams.
• A magical notebook where everything you write comes true.
• A magic word for manifesting or shifting.
As you can see, these are things you might never have imagined you could manifest. And as mentioned, anything you manifest in this state happens instantly. When you return to 3D awareness, you’ll see it. If it didn’t manifest, you weren’t in the void. You can’t fail in this state—your beliefs or assumptions don’t matter. If you truly entered this state, what you manifested is guaranteed to happen.
Why is manifestation instant in this state?
Because in this state, there’s no separation between you and what you desire. There’s no body, no mind, no time, no beliefs, no expectations, no limitations, no blocks, no resistance. It’s just you: pure consciousness, being.
In everyday reality, when we manifest, we do so from the mind, from an identity that believes it “needs something” or that “it will be reflected soon.” This creates separation: you here, your desire there. That distance creates the “process” or “waiting time” because you see it as something to achieve, something separate from you.
But in the void, there’s no distance. There’s no doubting mind, no beliefs, no resistance, no mental filters—nothing interferes. It’s just consciousness. The moment you decide, affirm, or desire something, it becomes part of you. You don’t attract it or wait for it—you ARE it. And by being it, it manifests. What you say and what you are become one.
Main characteristics of this state:
• No sight, hearing, smell, touch, or taste.
• No labels, nothing has form or definition.
• No traumas.
• No time—no past, present, or future.
• No body.
• No emotions.
• Only peace, calm, and neutrality—not because you feel “good” or “happy,” but because you simply ARE, and nothing is missing.
Is it dangerous?
No.
What does pure consciousness look like?
It doesn’t “look” like anything. You have no eyes, you’re not anywhere, there’s nothing to see—you’re just consciousness. This scares some people. But if you want, you can visualize landscapes or galaxies.
How do I know if I’ve reached it?
You’ll know the moment you enter because you’ll have none of your five senses and feel absolute peace. Don’t worry about not noticing—it’s unmistakable.
How do I manifest in this state?
You can manifest by affirming, visualizing, deciding, thinking, or simply desiring something. For example, to change your eye color, you could say: “My eyes are green.” And that’s it.
So, how do you “enter” in this state?
You don’t “enter” it because you’re already there. You simply stop paying attention to everything else: the world, your body, your worries. It’s like watching TV and lowering the volume to hear silence. The silence was always there—you just had to turn down the noise.
How do I put this into practice?
Focus on being aware that you exist, without adding anything to it. Do this in a way that works for you.
Think about how you learn or enjoy daily activities. Are you a visual, auditory, writing, or tactile learner? What resonates with you? What works?
• Visual: Did you learn best with mind maps, diagrams, or imagining lessons as stories?
• Writing: Did you benefit from detailed notes, summaries, or lists to organize your studies?
Methods: Scripting, journaling.
• Physical: Did you focus better by highlighting books, using flashcards, or moving while studying?
Methods: Meditations, tapping.
There’s no “right” way, and you can use more than one.
My favorite method: The Law of Assumption
It’s not a method per se, but it’s essential and won’t fail you.
What is the Law of Assumption?
Whatever you assume to be true or false is reflected in your reality.
How to assume?
You can assume by visualizing, imagining, deciding, thinking, acknowledging, saying, accepting, or affirming that something is true or that you already have it.
How to manifest?
• Choose your desire.
• Assume it’s already yours.
• Done—it’s yours.
To apply it to the void state, simply assume you’ve already entered, that you enter every night, that saying a phrase gets you there, or that affirming once is enough—whatever you want.
After assuming, stay firm in it. Keep choosing thoughts aligned with your assumption and don’t contradict it. You’ve already succeeded—don’t betray yourself by thinking otherwise.
Inducing this state is easy. It’s as natural as sleeping, breathing, or your heartbeat. One reason people don’t achieve it is because they overthink it.
When you understand that pure consciousness is literally just being conscious, you’ll see that complicating it is pointless.
What if I don’t succeed?
Don’t overcomplicate it. People don’t “enter” because they think it’s super complex, like learning to fly. But it’s as natural as sleeping or breathing.
Overthinking creates resistance. Think of it like floating in a pool: relax, and you float; tense up, and you sink.
You don’t have to follow anyone else’s steps or fit into a method. They’re just ideas to find what you enjoy.
If you prefer sitting with your eyes open and listening to music, do it. If you like imagining while listening to rain, great. The key is to stop looking outside and focus inward on what works for you.
It’s your home. You don’t have to “go” there because you never left.
So, relax and try it your way. It’s like being a kid and playing without rules.
The next time you hear “void state” or “pure consciousness,” remember it’s not a place, a ritual, or a method. It’s your natural state, before any thought or identity. Just consciousness. Just you.
And when you recognize yourself as that consciousness, there’s nothing you can’t be, have, or experience. Not because you found a cosmic “trick” or universal secret, but because you’ve always created your life. Now you know it.
There’s no right or wrong way—only what feels natural to you.
It’s not about doing it "correctly"; it’s about being.
You are consciousness. You already know how to return to yourself. Trust that.
The most important thing is to do what truly feels good to you, not just copy what others do.
what they don't tell you about making friends is you gotta be a lil annoying. you gotta push past the fear of "what if they don't want to talk to me" and simply ask someone how their day is going, send a meme. you cannot connect to people if you're both just awkwardly waiting for the other to start.
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