D. R. Monokuma

Oh, so you wanted to see me? My name is Monokuma. Moreover, I'm the manager of this fine establishment. All pets sold on my watch are one hundred percent guaranteed to be adoptable and perfectly selected for human companionship! Eh, but don't think that guarantee negates our no-refund policy. Rules are rules.

[monomanager]

  "Oh, I made our feistiest little kitty angry! Don’t worry, folks, he doesn’t mean the things he meows. He’s one hundred percent suited for human companionship, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Upupu."

[gangsterfeline-deactivated20130]

”..A-Are you advertising me?! I don’t need a stupid sadistic manager to do anything for me. And what’s with you and the other pets. They fear you like nobody’s business!" 

[monomanager]

"Ehh? I can't think of any reason for them to fear me; I'm a very thoughtful and generous manager! Whoever told you that I was sadistic was just misinformed, that's all. And I'm sorry to say, but you'll need a fair amount of advertising once people see your personality. Upu."

[monomanager]

♡

Tip: Put yourself in his debt - He finds it a lot easier to like people that he can control with debt, especially sassy ones like Kuzuryuu.

[monomanager]

♡?

Tip: Whenever he delivers a particularly cruel insult, ask him whether or not said insult is true a few weeks later. He likes to know you're still thinking about whatever he said to make you feel worthless.

[wanderingmercenary]

For every " ♡" I get I'll give a tip on how to win my muse's heart.

Because no one knows my muse better than I do.

[mondoge]

I’M GONNA KILL YA’LL—

[monomanager]

Oh, that's my name in there, isn't it. For a minute there, I thought they were all Slithers. Uppupu.

[melodies-and-sitar-deactivated2]

Anonymously send me "❤" + a url and I'll kiss whomever it is.

[gangsterfeline-deactivated20130]

[monomanager]

“Hey, hey, that’s no way to speak to the manager of the shop you’re in! Ahh, it looks like you’re a lot less lovable than our other cats, what a shame. At least you’re cute, so you might get adopted quickly.”

[gangsterfeline-deactivated20130]

”..L-Less lovable..? The hell did you just say?! I...

[monomanager]

"Oh, I made our feistiest little kitty angry! Don't worry, folks, he doesn't mean the things he meows. He's one hundred percent suited for human companionship, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Upupu."

[monomanager]

[[ Relevant facts about Monoger: -He is intending to allow Togami to blow the dog whistle to his heart's content as Mondog's punishment. If Togami breaks his tank, he loses this privilege. If Togami's admirer adopts him, Monoger will take up the whistle. -The pole dancer magic anon really would ruin his job, so he is currently pole dancing alone in his office whenever he can get everyone else out. Just thought you'd like to know. ]]

[mondoge]

[monomanager]

The manager indiscreetly crossed and uncrossed his legs as he continued speaking.

“What? I’m offended! Cockfights are illegal; allowing pets to walk around the store freely is a kindness! It’s not my fault if the results are so entertaining,” he said, fidgeting. Now was really...

[monomanager]

"Wh-what? You really think I'm taking some kind of pleasure in having to watch a bunch of animals run around and try to kill each other? Scary, your mind is really scary! I'm glad I'm not a telepath or anything," Monokuma said, waving his hand dismissively. All lies, of course. Anyone with eyes could see that it was his favorite part of managing the shop, and he knew it. As long as no one important knew it, though, everything was a-ok.

"Uppupu, you're right about me keeping your punishment a surprise. You can look forward to it later," he continued. "Because even though you've done enough to label yourself a problem dog, I think I can take you back out of the generosity of my own heart." He sighed deeply. "It just wasn't meant to work out with Mr. Kikataka, I suppose. Was that his name? Oh, well. If you're staying, you should probably move your things back in soon. If you miss the last feeding of the day, you'll just have to do without. No asking for favors from my unfortunate younger sister."

[gangsterfeline-deactivated20130]

8 should get the hell away

“Well, I see some people with faces that looks like someone I knew but..yeah your not so get the hell out of my sight!”

[monomanager]

"Hey, hey, that's no way to speak to the manager of the shop you're in! Ahh, it looks like you're a lot less lovable than our other cats, what a shame. At least you're cute, so you might get adopted quickly."

[mondoge]

[monomanager]

Monokuma scooted back in his seat, beginning to develop a slight twitch in his eyebrow.

“Ahem… You don’t care about charges, but your owner de-fin-itely would. While you’re under their care, they’re responsible for your actions. And knowing you landed them in a tight spot...

[monomanager]

The manager indiscreetly crossed and uncrossed his legs as he continued speaking.

"What? I'm offended! Cockfights are illegal; allowing pets to walk around the store freely is a kindness! It's not my fault if the results are so entertaining," he said, fidgeting. Now was really a very bad time for his dirty-thoughts greyface magic to kick in again. "He's none of your business because you aren't any particular relation to him. And I wouldn't have a problem with you coming back, provided you wouldn't try to fight your punishment. I'm not surprised, to be completely honest. You just don't seem cut out for domestic life, huh?" he asked as he finally managed to keep himself still.

"Oh, or are you looking to come back today? If so, I'll have some more paperwork to do. Your old cage is still empty, so that'll be that."

[monomanager]

Maybe I don’t like the confinement, or maybe someone should restrict a certain canine from my tank so they won’t provoke me.

[monomanager]

If you don’t like the confinement, maybe…

[monomanager]

Don’t tap the glass: monomanager: Maybe I don’t like the confinement, or maybe someone…

[monomanager]

But it’s a fitting name for a snake, right? I’ve decided that Slithers is what I’ll call you from here on out. And maybe making your cage super flashy to attract lots of visitors is a better punishment then. I think I’m right!

[infectiousembrace-blog]

If you want another broken tank, along with injured customers then by all means, go ahead. 

[monomanager]

If you injure the customers or damage my property, you'll be in for worse punishments than this. Upupu, I think a flashier tank and a few kid-friendly additions will work quite nicely. Maybe we'll even move you to the center of the store! Look forward to it!

[monomanager]

Maybe I don’t like the confinement, or maybe someone should restrict a certain canine from my tank so they won’t provoke me.

[monomanager]

If you don’t like the confinement, maybe...

[monomanager]

Don’t tap the glass: monomanager: Maybe I don’t like the confinement, or maybe someone…

[monomanager]

But it's a fitting name for a snake, right? I've decided that Slithers is what I'll call you from here on out. And maybe making your cage super flashy to attract lots of visitors is a better punishment then. I think I'm right!

[mondoge]

[monomanager]

The manager’s eyes widened at the other’s mocking words. Admittedly, he hadn’t expected his situation to be so obvious, especially to only the nose of a hybrid. But it couldn’t be helped. As far as he was concerned, he’d been performing a miraculous feat by refraining from...

[monomanager]

Monokuma scooted back in his seat, beginning to develop a slight twitch in his eyebrow.

"Ahem... You don't care about charges, but your owner de-fin-itely would. While you're under their care, they're responsible for your actions. And knowing you landed them in a tight spot would probably be punishment enough. Especially if I pressed for property damages and the like!" he explained as he loosened his tie. Don't show that he's getting to you, don't show it, don't show it.

"And as for the snake, ah, he's none of your business. You don't need to know what's happening to him, and vice versa! I agree that he's tiresome as far as snakes go, but that's what makes him so fun. Maybe you should learn to appreciate him for how easy it is to make him hiss and sputter without biting. All it takes is a little restraint," he finished, settling back into a slightly redder version of his usual smile.

[monomanager]

Maybe I don’t like the confinement, or maybe someone should restrict a certain canine from my tank so they won’t provoke me.

[monomanager]

If you don’t like the confinement, maybe you should politely ask your manager for separate roaming hours instead of knocking over your tank whenever...

[monomanager]

He's your scapegoat, is he? Even though you sent him to the hospital first. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Slithers. Maybe I should cover up your new tank and leave you in the dark for a few days.

[mondoge]

[monomanager]

Monokuma adopted a bored expression, propping his feet back up on the desk and looking down his nose at the other.

“Ohhh? Were you about to snap at me just then? Before you realized your canine instincts got you into a fight that put your legs out of order? Upupupu- The way I...

[monomanager]

The manager's eyes widened at the other's mocking words. Admittedly, he hadn't expected his situation to be so obvious, especially to only the nose of a hybrid. But it couldn't be helped. As far as he was concerned, he'd been performing a miraculous feat by refraining from jumping the customers.

"S...Such lewd accusations!" he declared, pretending to fan himself with one hand as he leaned back from Mondo's face. To be honest, the unexpected closeness was about to make him break a light sweat. "I've never heard of anyone being so crude towards people they've barely spoken to before! And about something I can't even help! You're as much of a victim to the anonymous ones as I am, after all, I can see."

He dropped the offended pretense in favor of a troubled one. "Trying to pleasure myself right now would just make me depressed, thanks to them... But ALL of that aside, if you tried to attack me now, you and your new owner would find yourselves in a heap of trouble. The sheer amount of charges I could find a way to press would be your punishment."

[mondoge]

[monomanager]

The manager held two hands up in mock defense, drawing his eyebrows up to appear apologetic.

“Oh, I poked the big dog and made it angry! Scary, really scary! Animals are pretty frightening in general, you know?” He smoothed down his tie before continuing. “You’re right though;...

[monomanager]

Monokuma adopted a bored expression, propping his feet back up on the desk and looking down his nose at the other.

"Ohhh? Were you about to snap at me just then? Before you realized your canine instincts got you into a fight that put your legs out of order? Upupupu- The way I see it, if you're not a human, you're an animal. And you all just keep proving it to me, day in and day out!"

Well, that's what he liked to say, but the effects shoved on him by the greyfaces had his hands shaking just out of proximity to another mostly-human besides his sister. Not that he was going to let the wolfdog know it. Things like pole dancing and having sex in the middle of the shop were potentially job-ruining, after all. He'd get some of those urges out once the other left.

"At any rate, trying to pull anything extra will just incur additional punishments. And these won't be as soft as the ones from Monomi, either."