The Heart Is Shattering
Summary:Ā Thomas is kept awake due to heart problems.Ā
Warnings:Ā Burst of anger and creepy mc creepface returns. Lemme know if I missed anything!
Previous Masterlist
Thomas yawned, eyes closing even as he continued to scroll through his phone. He wasnāt even sure what he was looking at anymore. His vision had gone blurry and the last thing he remembered was a video showcasing a small kitten trying to chase its shadow.Ā
He checked the clock on his nightstand, squinting to make out the red, digital numbers and forgetting that he had the time right in front of him. The fuzzy numbers eventually became clear revealing that it was only three in the morning. Not too bad for a Saturday night.Ā
One good thing about working at home was that he never really had to worry about a specific time to wake up in the morning, meaning that he could stay up as late as he wanted. The downside to that was Thomas stayed up as late as he wanted and thus never could drag himself out of bed earlier than noon.Ā
Oh well, heād already met the deadline for his last video and had been getting some good sleep the past few nights. So why not indulge in some late night Twitter scrolling? Or was it Tumblr? What had he been watching again?
He supposed it didnāt matter since his phone had slipped from his hand and onto the floor a few seconds ago. With no desire whatsoever to lean over the side and pick it up, he wrapped himself up in his blanket and closed his eyes. Finally giving into his mind and bodyās desperate cries for sleep.Ā
Which he got precisely five minutes of before he was alerted to a presence in his room.Ā
His eyes shot open, his heart starting to hammer against his chest. What was it? Robber? Ghost? Relatives?!
Whatever it was, he could feel its gaze on him. Burning into his back. Did he dare turn around? If he did would he die instantly or be frozen in fear as he faced whatever intruder had entered his home?Ā
āThomas? You awake?ā The voice, that sounded a lot like his own but slightly higher, came right from behind him and filled Thomas with even more dread. Somehow this spectre knew his name. What else did it know? How was it able to mimic his voice and why was it giving him the decency to be awake before it stole his soul?Ā
āThomas⦠Itās me⦠Pattonā¦āĀ
Oh noā¦Ā
The ghost got Patton! Wait, how was that possible? Patton was imaginary. Unless it was an imaginary ghost. But if that were the case why should Thomas be afraid of it?Ā
Hold on a secondā¦
Thomas sat up and reached out towards his nightstand, flicking on a lamp and turning around to find that it really was Patton and not some malevolent spirit bent on harvesting his soul.Ā
āOh, hey Patton.ā Thomas yawned and leaned back against his pillow. āWhat are you doing here?ā
āI couldnāt sleep, not just because you werenāt asleep.ā Patton sat down on the bed, wringing his hands together. āI-I needed to talk to you about something. Get some advice...ā
āNot sure if my sleep deprived brain is capable of giving good advice right now⦠Maybe I can call Logan-ā āNo!ā Pattonās eyes widened in panic. Despite the outburst, Thomas was too out of it to respond other than give a slow, tired blink.Ā
āOkay, no calling Logan⦠Whatās up?ā
Patton took a deep breath and Thomas braced himself for the emotional breakdown that was to come. āItās about Deceit⦠And Loganā¦ā
āWhat about them?ā Thomas sat up a bit. āIs everything alright?āĀ
āI donāt know.ā Patton started drawing circles on the bed with his finger. āThey got into a fight and I think itās my faultā¦āĀ
āWhy would it be your fault?ā Thomas yawned, unknowingly mimicking Pattonās actions. āI find it hard to believe that you would be the cause of a conflict. Actually scratch that.ā
āWellā¦ā Patton flopped back on the bed. āYou remember that dream I had?ā
āI donāt know how itās possible for my Sides to have dreams but sure, I remember.ā Thomas moved his hand in a circular motion, yawning and slurring his words. āSomething about running in a maze or something⦠Right?ā
āYeah, but I wasnāt alone in the mazeā¦ā āWasnāt there a shadow demon? Huh⦠Why is there a shadow demon living in my head?ā
āThere wasnāt just a monster, Logan was there too.ā Patton dug his hands into the blankets. āHe was running from the monster, I had to save him. I was supposed to lead him out of the maze, into the light.ā
āThatās a beautiful imageā¦ā Thomas sighed dreamily. āI wish I had someone to lead me out of a dark maze where a monster was chasing me and brought me into the lightā¦ā
āBut it wasnāt beautiful!ā Patton shot up. āWe almost made it out and then Logan was dragged back in! Those-Those shadows almost took him! I wasnāt fast enough! Then the ground opened up and he fell in! I couldnāt hold on! He fell and it was my fault! I didnāt save him!ā
āWellā¦ā Thomas leaned over and patted his shoulder. āSo⦠*yawn* so sorry buddy⦠My little buddyā¦ā
āThomas?ā Patton frowned. āAre you even awake right now?ā
āNope.ā Thomas slumped against Patton and started snoring. Patton blinked, staring at the sleeping Thomas. Maybe it hadnāt been the best time to talk to him about this, but he didnāt exactly have anyone else. Sighing, he summoned a cup of coffee and waved it in front of Thomasā face. The reaction, of course, was instant as Thomasā eyes shot open and sat up. āSay whatever you need to Patt, Iāll be up for the rest of the night.ā He grabbed the cup and started to gulp it down.Ā
āRightā¦ā Patton clasped his hands together and stared ahead. āI donāt know, it sounds silly but, I canāt help but feel like that dream was trying to tell me something. Or warn meā¦ā
āSo my Sides can have dreams of the future now?ā Thomas pouted. āHow come you guys get to have all these powers and I got nothing?ā
āSorry, Thomasā¦ā Now definitely wasnāt a good time to tell him he was drinking imaginary coffee and wasnāt actually getting any caffeine. Logan wouldnāt like it if Patton gave him any of that this late at night. Then again, Logan was already upsetā¦
āOkay, Iām done with this.ā Thomas set the now empty cup aside. āIām wide awake, so, please continue.āĀ
āRight, well, I think my dream was trying to tell me that Logan was in danger and that only I could save him.āĀ
āSave him from what though?ā Thomas furrowed his brow. āLoganās pretty tough. Which is odd considering heās kind of a nerd. But what could possibly be dangerous for him inside of my mind?ā
āWell⦠I have an ideaā¦ā Patton twiddled his thumbs. āSee, this dream came not too long after a certain someone moved in with usā¦āĀ
āPatton, are you saying that Deceit is the danger that you have to protect Logan from?ā Thomas narrowed his eyes.Ā
Pattonās face paled slightly. āUm, maybe? Possibly?ā
Thomas sighed. āLook, Patt, I know youāre worried. But I truly believe that Deceit loves Logan and doesnāt want to hurt him. And from what Iāve seen Logan loves him too. I donāt think he has some evil plan to drag Logan into darkness.ā
āBut you didnāt see him at breakfast! He wouldnāt stop pushing about the dream I had! And he did take Logan before! He brought him into a dungeon! Then Virgil even said that Deceit did something to hurt him a long time ago!āĀ
āI hear what youāre saying Patton, but please calm down before my neighbors complain about me yelling at three in the morning againā¦āĀ
Patton slouched, hands digging into the bed. āSorry, Thomas. Itās just that Iāve never seen Virgil like that before. Whatever Deceit did, itās still hurting him. And Iām afraid the same thing will happen to Logan if I donāt do something about it.ā
āSo what exactly is your plan here?ā Thomas asked quizzically. āObject to their love? Force the two apart? Expose Deceitās evil scheme should it even exist?ā
āI donāt know! Maybe?!ā Patton buried his face in his hands. āI know I canāt just stand by and do nothing! Loganās been avoiding everyone since their fight and now Roman has been spending time with Deceit!āĀ
Thomas chuckled bitterly. āRoman and Deceit getting along? That doesnāt sound right.āĀ
āExactly!ā Patton sprang to his feet. āThey shouldnāt be getting along whatsoever! Yet Roman is treating him like his best friend! He even lets him into his room when heās brainstorming! He never lets anyone into his room while heās brainstorming!āĀ
āSo you think Deceitās brainwashed him or something? Eep!ā Thomas yelped as Patton pulled him up as well.Ā
āYes! He must have! Roman was acting strange for weeks and suddenly gets better because of Deceit? Doesnāt that sound suspicious to you?āĀ
āUgh⦠Head rushā¦ā Thomas groaned, then suddenly fell back onto the bed as Patton accidentally pushed him in his excitement.Ā
āYes! Yes it all makes sense now! Deceit started all of this when he took Logan dancing that first night! That was the same day Roman locked himself in his room and he only got worse and worse! Then poor Logan was driven to exhaustion trying to take care of him and meeting Deceit every night! He never let him rest!ā
āThatās one way to look at itā¦ā Thomas frowned as Patton began to fervently pace. āUm, Patt?ā
āAnd then! He gets caught in Loganās room by Virgil! He then takes him to a dungeon and locks him up! But then heās almost caught by some other mystery Side so he changes the story to make it seem like he was protecting Logan! But if that was the case why bring him to a dungeon in the first place where he could be found by the other Side? It was all for show!ā
āIām not sure I follow. Patton are you okay?ā
āThen Deceit doesnāt let Logan tell us the truth, though Logan being Logan, probably kept trying to convince Deceit to let him tell us because Logan always wants to tell the truth! He hates lying and Deceit knows that! How could he force Logan to lie for him?ā
āPatton you should calm downā¦ā
āHe even admitted that he was hiding something from us! He wonāt tell us whatās going on but Virgil knows! Virgil lived with the Dark Sides before so heāll know the truth but Deceit wonāt let him talk! If he tried heād just be silenced, so Virgil tried to get him to confess himself but he wouldnāt! Heās guilty Iām telling you! No one has been acting normal ever since he started showing up and messing with Logan!āĀ
āPatton please calm down for one second and think about what youāre saying!āĀ
āI canāt Thomas!ā Patton tangled his hands in his hair. āI canāt sit by while my family is in danger! I canāt let Deceit hurt Logan!ā
āAnd you donāt think Logan can take care of himself?ā Thomas stood up and cautiously walked towards him. āNot to mention, all of this worrying came from a nightmare you had, and Iām not sure how dreams work for you guys but, donāt you think it mightāve been caused by all the worrying youāve been doing?āĀ
āBut it isnāt just me! Virgil is suspicious too!āĀ
Thomas stopped. āThat-Thatās literally his job to be suspicious though. He also just hates Deceit.āĀ
āMaybe I hate him too then!ā Patton snapped. āHe came and ruined everything!āĀ
Thomas winced. āPatton, calm down, this isnāt youā¦āĀ
āRight, because Iām supposed to be your good old Morality, right? Iām not supposed to be sad! Oh wait!ā Patton laughed, tears filling his eyes. āI forgot! Iām allowed to be sad because that isnāt a bad thing! But Heaven forbid I get a little angry sometimes! Sorry! I canāt control it when my heart is breaking!āĀ
Thomas stepped back, trying to push his fear down. This was Patton, heād never hurt him.Ā
āWhat do you mean? Why is your heart breaking?āĀ
āBecause that snake came and stole Logan from me!ā Patton slammed his fist against the wall. āAND I LOVED HIM FIRST!ā He gasped, his eyes covered by a faint, red sheen that was gone the moment he blinked.Ā
āWhat am I doingā¦?ā He whispered. āThis isnāt meā¦ā He sank to the floor, leaning against the wall as more tears began to fall. āItās not meā¦āĀ
āPatton?ā Thomas knelt in front of him. āCan you breathe for me?ā The moral Side nodded shakily and took in a deep breath.Ā
āThere we go,ā Thomas held onto his hands, ājust keep breathing. In and out.āĀ
āIām sorry, Thomas.ā Patton sniffled. āIām so sorryā¦āĀ
āItās okay, you donāt have to talk yet.ā Thomas sat them both up against the wall. āFocus on calming down. Then we can talk about it.ā
Patton nodded, keeping one of Thomasā hands in his. How was he supposed to even begin explaining? How much could he even explain without making things worse?
Thomas was waiting though, with that same patient look he always had whenever Patton came to him with his problems. How could he be so understanding after all he was putting him through? He was supposed to help Thomas, not the other way around. Why wasnāt he upset with him for lashing out like that? Or maybe he was and just wasnāt showing it yet.Ā
No, Patton knew Thomasā feelings. He wasnāt angry at all just, worried and confused.Ā
āIām sorry, Thomas.ā He removed his glasses and wiped the tears from his eyes.Ā
āApology accepted.ā Thomas patted his back before resting his hands in his lap. āSo, you like Logan too then?āĀ
āNo use denying it,ā Patton chuckled mirthlessly. āYes. I love Logan. I have for a long time. I was getting ready to tell him when all this Deceit stuff came up and now Iāve missed my chance.ā
Thomas stared at him somberly and rested a hand on his shoulder. āThatās rough buddy.āĀ
āItās just, Logan is so amazing,ā Patton sighed. He fiddled with his glasses as a small grin appeared on his face. āHeās so smart. Even if I donāt know what heās talking about half the time, heās just so passionate and can go on for hours about something if you let him. Hearing his voice calms me, he sounds so sure of himself and strong! I just want him to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. Iā¦ā Pattonās smile faded, āI want him to love me, but, why would he ever love someone like me?ā
Okay, that was a lot to unpack. Thomas prepared himself. The goal here was to help Patton feel better and not make the situation worse. The last thing he needed was another emotional breakdown. If things got too out of hand the others would show up, Logan among them, and his presence would not help at this moment.Ā
āFirst off, this whole thing with you guys being able to fall in with each other is still pretty new to me so I honestly am not sure how Iām supposed to approach this. I wish I knew what my Logic being in love with my Deceit implied about me but I digress.āĀ
Patton blinked, a puzzled frown on his face. āI mean, if we couldnāt fall in love then there would be no need for this story to exist.āĀ
āHowever!ā Thomas declared. āI donāt care if you guys fall in love as long as both parties are in a happy, healthy relationship. Though from what Iāve seen you donāt seem to think that Deceit is good for Logan and I now realize that this is stemming from a place of jealousy.āĀ
āWhat?!ā Patton stiffened. āI am not-ā He was silenced by Thomas raising a hand. āPlease withhold any comments until the end of my analysis.āĀ
Thomas cleared his throat then continued, āYour jealousy, which stems from your attraction to Logan, has caused you to search for any piece of evidence that could prove Deceit was secretly evil and plotting to bring harm to Logan, which if that were the case then yes the two should definitely break up and not see each other again.ā
āBut-ā Patton quickly shut his mouth as Thomas held up his hand again.Ā
āHonestly though, I donāt think Deceit wants to hurt Logan. Even with everything that happened the other day, I think he might just be scared and is trying to protect himself. Heās self-preservation too, itās probably not something he can help. Part of him may want to be completely honest with Logan and tell him whatās going on, but heās too afraid of getting hurt. So he avoids the topic when it comes up or just flat out wonāt talk about it.āĀ
Thomas ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up a bit. āNot saying he should keep it all to himself, but I can understand why he would. Somehowā¦ā He glanced at Patton. āOn the subject of you also being in love with Logan, why are so many of my Sides in love with my Logic and what the heck does that say about me?āĀ
Patton raised a hand timidly. āThat you like smart guys who are also nerds like you?ā
Thomas snapped and pointed at him. āThat is definitely a good observation, but Iād rather not think about me being so lonely and desperate for love that Iām falling for the embodiment of all my logical reasoning.āĀ
āSorryā¦ā Patton shrank back, biting his lip.Ā
Ā āNo itās fine, letās just move on from that subject,ā Thomas waved his hand, āThereās already too many ships being sunk as it is.āĀ
Patton nodded somberly. āMay they rest in peace.ā
āBack to the subject at hand, your problem is that youāve been in love with Logan for a while but never got the nerve to tell him. By the time youād finally mustered up your courage Deceit came and swooped Logan off his feet so really, youāre mad at him for getting to Logan first.ā
āIām not mad!ā Patton insisted.
āThe dent in my wall states otherwise.ā Thomas glanced at the aforementioned area. āOne of you can fix that, right?Ā
Patton regarded the wall with a wince. āIām sure Roman can take care of that. But still! Iām not mad! Or jealous!āĀ
āI think itās pretty obvious, youāre just in denial.āĀ
āThen how do I make it go away?!ā Patton gripped his head. āI donāt want to be like this! I donāt want to be angry! I just- I justā¦ā He slumped against the wall, shoulders sagging as he let his hands fall to his sides. āI just wanted him to like meā¦ā
āPatā¦ā Thomas pulled him into his arms. āYou know Logan cares about you, he cares about all of you.āĀ
Patton sniffled. āNo⦠Not me⦠He hates feelings, and thatās what I am. A whole lotta feelingsā¦āĀ
āHe doesnāt hate feelings, he just doesnāt understand them.ā Thomas pulled back slightly to grip Pattonās shoulders, the forlorn Side was crumbling in front of him and he would not stand for it. Hence why he was sitting on the floor.Ā
āMore importantly, he doesnāt hate you.ā
Patton blinked in surprise. āBut why wouldnāt he? Iām everything heās notā¦ā
āSo are the others, but do you see him hating them? Virgilās irrational, but Logan helps him calm down. Romanās eccentric, and Logan brings him back down to Earth. Deceit can tell a lot of falsehoods, and heās there to call them out. Remus is⦠Remus⦠So Loganās there to⦠Silence the Remus?ā
āYeah,ā Patton chuckled softly, āheās good at all of those thingsā¦ā
Thomas smiled. āAnd even though he doesnāt fully understand, heās always willing to help you knowĀ yourself better.āĀ
āHe is,ā Patton wiped his eyes, āhe always is.āĀ
āLook, maybe Logan doesnāt love you the same way you love him.ā Thomas adjusted Pattonās hoodie, which had started to fall off his shoulders. āBut he does love you, in his own way. But you need to accept that and let him go.āĀ
āLet him goā¦ā Patton sighed. āIām just scared of what could happen if I did let him go.āĀ
āI know, but ultimately, itās his imaginary life. You have to let him make his own choices,ā Thomas frowned slightly, āwhen did you all start becoming such complex individuals?ā
āBecause if we werenāt then we wouldnāt be compelling characters,ā Patton shrugged, āThis is all fiction anyway. Itās not like we act this way normally.āĀ
āGood point. Still, itās nice that Iām not the one having a crisis for once.ā Thomas reclined against the wall. āI kinda like being a secondary character.āĀ
āWell, you enjoy your rest kiddo.ā Patton stood and offered him a hand. āI think I know what to do now.ā āDo you?ā Thomas accepted the hand and was helped to his feet.Ā
āYeah, I do.ā Patton took a deep breath. āThanks, for everything.ā
āAnything for my little buddy,ā Thomas yawned. āNow if youāll excuse me⦠I need to surrender to sleepā¦āĀ
āGood idea, sorry for keeping you up⦠Wonāt happen again!āĀ
āNah, donāt worry about it.ā Thomas waved dismissively and walked over to his bed. āYou get some rest too, okay?āĀ
āI will,ā Patton smiled, āGoodnight!āĀ
āNightā¦ā Thomas laid down, pulling his covers over him and finally drifting off to sleep. Patton, meanwhile, sank out and returned to his bedroom with a sigh. He definitely knew what he had to do, he just really didnāt want to do it. It could wait until tomorrow though, Logan was most likely asleep anyway. He snapped himself into his pajamas, which were sky blue and had little clouds with puppies and kittens floating on them.Ā
Childish, sure, but they were the softest and most comfiest pajamas he had and he wouldnāt dream of parting with them. He sat on his bed and took off his glasses, folding them and placing them on his nightstand, next to a picture of him and the others.Ā
All smiling, holding each other close, just the four of them. His familyā¦Ā
Would Deceit become part of that too?Ā
He laid down and snuggled underneath his blankets. Maybe he was just being jealous. Deceit really seemed to care about Logan, and if Logan truly loved him, did anything else matter? Sure, heād like him to be more honest about things, especially if Logan asked, but that wasnāt Pattonās place to interfere.Ā
Oh Patton⦠Iām so disappointedā¦
Patton shot up, his blood running cold. What are you doing here?!
I never left⦠Lay back down⦠I just want to talkā¦Ā
No! I told you to go away! I donāt want to talk to you anymore!
I saidā¦Ā
Patton was suddenly thrown down, pinned to the bed by an invisible hand. Paralyzed as a shadow loomed above him.Ā
āLay down.āĀ
His eyes widened in terror, unable to make out any features of the figure leaning over him. His mouth hung open, unable to form words.Ā
āGood⦠I just need you to listen for just a moment⦠Then Iāll leave you to sleepā¦āĀ
The hand left Pattonās chest, but the presence continued to loom above.
āI knew youād need me to look after you⦠So Iāve been watching things from the shadows⦠I was proud of you⦠At firstā¦āĀ
Fingers combed through his hair, gently plucking the strands like strings on a harp.
āYou were right to share your concerns about Deceit to Thomas⦠That snake⦠He cannot be trusted⦠I know what it is he hidesā¦āĀ
A flash of silver was seen among the shadows, but Patton was too preoccupied with the hand that was now cupping his face, causing him to shiver.Ā
āHis secrets will hurt Logan⦠Heās already hurt Virgil⦠To the point where he can never trust him again⦠And heās right for doing soā¦āĀ
Fingers dug into his skin, gripping his face tightly as Patton was dragged up towards the shadow.Ā
āDo not give the snake any mercy⦠Everything you said was true⦠There is a reason you had that dream⦠But if you wonāt listen to meā¦ā He released Patton and let him fall back onto his pillow.Ā
āThen the least you can do⦠Is listen to your sonā¦āĀ
Patton shuddered, his breath coming out in short gasps. He felt a layer of frost covering his skin, could still sense traces of ghostly fingers playing with his hair.Ā
What did that all mean? Why had the voice come back? Patton had told him to leave, but he hadnāt left? And he was right about Deceit? Right about what?
No! He couldnāt listen to him! All he ever did was lie!Ā
But, he also said to talk to Virgilā¦Ā
Virgil knew something the others didnāt, everyone except Deceit. Whatever it was, it was something he wanted to keep hidden. Even if Patton went to Virgil would he be allowed to speak? Or would Deceit silence him before he revealed anything?Ā
Patton whimpered and pulled the blanket over his head, wiping the remaining frost from his face. He no longer felt safe here, but he was too scared to move. To go to someone for help. Even Virgilās room, which was the closest to his, seemed far away and unreachable.Ā
He squeezed his eyes shut. Deep breaths. Deep breaths, Patton. He told himself. Just need to get through tonight. Tomorrow youāll talk to Virgil. Youāll get answers. For now just breathe. Breathe and fall asleep.
And so he did.Ā
Slowly, but surely, the frightened Side finally drifted off to slumber.
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