it's been a very long time (years) since i've written any fanfics but i thought i'd revisit it for a little fun. i don't know if it'll become a regular thing but we'll see.
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"It's a wolf thing." I became very used to those words over the past few weeks. So much of my time was spent with Jake that the reservation almost felt more familiar than home. He stayed even closer after the cliff diving incident, understandably I guess. I enjoyed his company either way.
He stayed focused on the road ahead as I leaned into him as close as I could. It was a warmth I could only feel with him. There was comfort in the heat, a sense of home that I couldn't get from anywhere else. The only sound came from the roaring engine of the truck, allowing me to close my eyes and enjoy the comfort.
Not long after, we were already outside of the house. I could feel him relax slightly more after turning off the engine. He moved his arm around and leaned into me for a moment as well.
"Bella?" He said in a kindly hushed tone. I turned my head to look up at him. "I thought you might've fallen asleep." He still continued the same kindness through every word. I moved back the way I was. "No. . . I just wanted to stay like this a little longer." There was no response for a moment. "Before we have to get back out into the cold. . . of course." I added clumsily, almost fumbled together like I forgot the words.
"Of course." Jacob repeated with a slight grin. He allowed the silence to be unfilled, something I always appreciated about him. I knew how much I must have been weighing him down since Edward left. I knew I was using Jake as a crutch for my own reasons, at least in the beginning. But I find myself genuinely missing him and the comfort he brings.
"Jake." I began, not really sure where I was going. He turned more towards me, waiting patiently. I didn't know where to begin or with what. I wanted to thank him, I think. Or let him know that all of his effort isn't unnoticed. "What's up?" He eventually asked, and I could hear the hint of concern. "Thank you." I blurted out finally.
Jacob was noticably confused. "What did I do exactly?" He cocked his head a little to the side to jokingly tease. I paused for a moment again. "I just. . . I really appreciate everything you've done for me since- you know." I still wasn't comfortable talking about Edward, and I knew Jacob would understand. He continued listening intently to every word. "I feel horrible knowing that I've been hurting you- it kills me." Jacob pulled me in closer. "You have nothing to beat yourself up over like that Bella."
I allowed myself to sink into his arms. "I have plenty of time to wait, you know that." He said while he gently moved his hand up and down my arm. He was right, I knew he was willing to wait after I told him I needed time. He always seemed to understand and be my guide to help me get to myself together. But waiting didn't seem right anymore.
"I don't think I want to wait." I spilled out into the silence. I felt Jacob tense up a little bit. "What does that mean?" He finally asked, badly trying to mask the worry in his voice. I pulled back completely from him for the first time since the car ride to look at him better. I could see the expectation of rejection on his face. "I want to be with you Jake." The words were finally off my chest, they were out of my head and into the air. As hesitant as I was to even think them, it felt so right to say.
His face softly lit up with a smile that I always loved. He gently swept stray hairs to either side of my face and in one motion placed a hand on my cheek. I releaxed into it and his smile flickered just slightly bigger. "Can I kiss you?" He asked before moving. I slowly nodded.
The next moment I was soaking in the warmth and comfort as Jacob kissed me. It was gentle, genuine, and I had no idea how I had gone so long without it before. It was as if I had finally found home.
blakekathryn
ellievsbear
andulkaphoto
