the government has assigned you this poll and you must pick one New Year's resolution to complete
set world record for amount of mayonnaise eaten in one sitting
cover self in horny spider lotion and lie in a nice empty field for a few hours
pee pants at least once a week. doesn't have to be yours
learn to do back alley surgery. just for funsies
find a FNAF-style animatronic. and know it. carnally
pick a species of creature and personally drive it to extinction
start dressing like a circus clown full-time including makeup and wig
take up streaking as a hobby
eat at least 1% of one of the fuckoff big stonehenge stones
listen to conservative talk radio daily
ghost everyone and go live in an Antarctic research facility
invent a very annoying conlang. and speak it exclusively