Your friendly neighbourhood alcoholic

29, bi, she/her. 🇬🇧 living in 🇩🇰 Write drunk, edit sober. Proper northern lass innit. MDNI +18 blog

[moody-alcoholic]

Welcome

I'm Moody, this is my main blog where I write about my husband and our boyfriends.

This used to be a COD exclusive blog but it has always been my goal to branch off to other factions too, so I'm making the blog look a little more like a 'main blog.'

Anyway, most things on this blog and others are 18+ so proceed with caution.

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Recommendations & current reads

Call of Duty

Main fics

The Missing Piece - Complete Ghoap x reader. 24 chapters. 85k+ words.

These Violent Delights - Ongoing Poly141 x reader, a/b/o AU. Multiple works.

Cross My Heart - Ongoing Poly141 x reader. 14 chapter 50k+ words

Where Blood Meets Flame - Ongoing Poly 141 x Reader, Fourth Wing Crossover. 40 Chapter 350k+ words

As Above, So Below - Ongoing John Price x Reader. 21 chapters 80k+ words

Shorts, minifics, more..

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

Main fics

A Day That Never Comes - Ongoing Gustave x reader, Lune x Sciel. 7 chapters, 20k+ words.

Roses Dont Know When They're Dead - Ongoing IRL/Original Verso x reader. 12 chapters, 25k+ words.

Shorts, minifics, more...

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[moody-alcoholic]

Auction Day Masterlist

141 x reader. Mafia AU, sex auction.

AO3 - coming soon

Red is for virgins

Blue is for new girls

Pink is for kinks

Gold is for favourites

Black is for special occasions

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[moody-alcoholic]

Red is for virgins

John Price x f!reader (eventual Poly 141 x reader) Part 1 of 5

CW: Breeding kink, PiV sex, mild dubcon, cum play, oral (F receiving), mafia AU, sex auction.

Masterlist - AO3 - Next

Red is for virgins. 

That's the only thing you were told when you asked why your name was in red on the board. It matches your dress. The same deep crimson. You look around you and see many other women of all shapes and sizes wearing similar dresses of different colours. 

“Come.” Someone snaps gesturing at you. You nod and walk over to the door. “Stand on the mark.” he points into a bright white room which has nothing inside other than a large floor to ceiling one way window. You do as you’re told and stand on the x on the floor and look at your reflection in the mirror. 

Why did you agree to this. You could have walked away and kept your dignity now you’re stood here knowing there are people on the other side betting on you. Betting on you so they can sleep with you. You’ll never know how much, not until you get paid anyway. A light flicks from red to green and the man at the door calls you back. 

“Virgins always sell quickly.” He sighs as he picks up a room key. “Room 45, knock on the door and wait to be called in. Do not enter the room until you are called.” You nod and turn to head out the waiting room. You catch some of the other women turning their nose up at you and realise you’re the only one in red. 

“Oh and try and have fun.” The man calls, you turn quickly and nod before leaving the room. 

___

You knock on the door and don’t get a reply. 

You’re not sure what to do so you wait a few seconds before knocking again. This time the door is opened by a man, you look up at him. He has the end of a cigar hanging out his mouth, the smell of sweet tobacco fills your nose. 

He steps to the side and you walk into the room, you can feel his eyes looking over you. The room is nice, low orange lights make the place feel cosy and smaller than it actually is. There’s a faux fireplace with a plush sofa, coffee table and a drinks trolley. The man closes the door behind you, he’s dressed smart, black pants and a white shirt. The collar has been loosened just like the tie. Over the sofa arm he’s thrown his jacket and waistcoat. 

“Do you drink?” The man asks, you shake your head. You want to keep your head straight. He hums, goes over to the sofa and sits down. He snuffs out the but of the cigar in an ashtray then picks up a small glass of amber coloured liquid. 

You walk over to stand on the other side of the coffee table. You look over at him, he’s handsome, older than you thought he was going to be. He leans back on the sofa and takes a sip of his drink. You try to remember this is a fantasy, there are cameras somewhere. You think back to the non-disclosure paperwork you signed before being washed, waxed and dressed in a red dress that barely covers anything. 

“Whats your name?” You ask. 

“John.” He replies, swilling the liquid in the glass. He looks tired, like he’s just had a long day. Maybe he works in an office or something. You could be standing in front of a CEO or a bank manager, maybe even a member of the royal family from the whispers you heard. 

“What made you do this?” He asks pulling you out of your head. He doesn’t look as intimidating as you thought, he scratches his beard scanning you with his eyes once again. 

“I-” You hesitate, not sure where to start. “I wanted to try porn, a friend recommended this place. She said the pay was good, especially for virgins.” 

“You’re a virgin but you wanted to do porn?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. You nod feeling heat rush to your cheeks. He chuckles and drains his glass before standing up. He walks over to you, his fingers ghost your skin, he pulls on the dress strap and it falls away. 

He hums from behind you, you can smell the smoke and alcohol on his breath. You’re naked underneath, that's what the instructions were. John walks around to stand in front of you. 

“Are there cameras in here?” You ask looking over at the rather large mirror next to the bed. 

“I pay for them to be turned off.” His hand comes to pull your chin back to him. He looks down at you with greedy eyes, his voice drops low and his gaze flicks to your lips. A second later he’s kissing you, you’ve only ever been kissed a few times so you’re not sure what to do but John is slow and soft. 

You can’t tell if it’s for you or not but he takes his time before he presses his tongue past your lips and into your mouth. He brushes it against yours as his hands come up to cup your face. His thumbs trace your jawline and he tips your head up slightly before kissing you deeper. 

“Christ, you’re gonna be the end of me.” He breathes, breaking from the kiss. He guides you over to the only other piece of furniture in the room, a large silk covered double bed. His hand travels down your back and he cups your arse gently squeezing it. 

“Lay down.” He orders, you nod and lay on the bed not sure what position he wants you in. You feel stiff, not like the other girls you’ve seen around here. They’re all beautiful, could be supermodels if they wanted to be but instead they’re here at a shady private club hoping rich men will pay to fuck them. 

It’s like prostitution with extra steps, and you don’t even get to keep all the money. 

You look down as you hear the clicking of a belt buckle and see John dropping his clothes at the end of the bed. He’s not what you expected, hairy for sure but with defined muscles and strong arms. His cock rests in his hand, he’s bigger than anyone you’ve ever seen and he looks at you with a cheeky grin on his face. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll make you ready.” He says, then grabs your ankles and pulls you down the bed slightly. You swallow hard, suddenly nervous at the prospect of having sex with this hunk of a man. He runs his hands up your legs and thighs until he reaches your waist then pulls you down again, you look to see him kneeling on the floor at the end of the bed. 

“Has anyone ever touched this pussy before?” He asks, you feel heat rushing to your face. 

“No.” You say mustering the courage to talk. 

“What about you?” He asks, throwing your knees over his shoulders, you spread your legs further for him and you can feel his breath on your sensitive skin. “Have you ever played with yourself?”

“Yes.” You admit feeling strangely guilty, he smiles though then presses a kiss on the inside of your thigh. 

“Tell me, where did you touch yourself?” He asks in a low voice, his eyes dropping as he presses a light kiss on your clit. “Here?” 

You hum in response feeling a tingle through your lower body from the simple touch alone. He smiles and one of his fingers presses between your folds and against your entrance. 

“Here?” He asks again. 

You swallow before humming again. He smiles at you, whatever you’re doing he seems to like it. He gently presses a finger inside of you and you moan gripping the silk sheets tight. 

“Did you ever do this? Have you ever made yourself come?” He asks, pressing in another finger. 

“A couple of times.” You say, your voice is slurred and breathless. He hums happily in response and before you get a chance to say anything more he presses his tongue against your clit. It feels like electricity through your whole body, nothing like how it felt when you’ve done this alone. His strokes are in time with his fingers curling up inside you and pressing on a spot you never knew even existed. 

“John.” You warn him as hot pressure builds up in your stomach. Everything feels fast, you clench around his fingers which just makes him go faster. It’s almost like he’s trying to drink you up with each lap of his tongue. “I’m. John I-” 

You come embarrassingly fast. John doesn’t stop though, he pulls his mouth off your throbbing clit as he uses his fingers to work you through the orgasm. A low grumble leaves his throat and he presses another kiss on your clit before standing back up. 

He crawls onto the bed next to you, you’re not sure what to do now. Maybe you’ve come too fast and it’s all going to be over now, if you haven’t put on a good show people can demand your money back. He doesn’t seem disappointed though, he runs his hand up your stomach to one of your breasts. He pinches one of your nipples between his fingers, it feels strange, you’re not sure if you like it but before you can say anything his mouth replaces his fingers. 

This time it feels better, his hot tongue draws little circles around your nipple before flicking it. 

“Have you ever done this?” He asks, pulling his mouth off quickly. 

“No.” You admit, he hums, placing his mouth back. It makes the ache come back to your core. You moan and he moves one of his hands down to your clit, you squeeze your legs closed out of instinct and his mouth comes off you again. 

“No, no. Not tonight, you’re open for me.” He says gently pressing on your thigh and you open your legs for him. You just want him to touch you again and he does. “Watch.” He moves his fingers down to your entrance then presses them inside of you. 

“See that, nice and wet. Fuckin’ perfect.” He says, you watch as he pulls his fingers in and out of you slowly, almost too slow. You want more, you need more, it's almost a pain needing him, wanting him. 

“John.” You breathe. “It feels good.”

“Good.” He says pressing a kiss on your cheek. “I want to open you up some more.” You turn to look at him, his eyes are blue and glossy. “Then you’ll be ready to take my cock.” 

Nervousness jumps inside of you but you fight the urge to close your legs again instead gripping the bedding as you watch John fucking you with his fingers.

“Want you to come again, nice and hard.” He says almost through gritted teeth, his palm slapping your clit with each furious thrust. You’re nodding and reaching the peak way quicker than you expected. You’ve heard about multiple orgasms in stories but you’d never thought it was real until now. 

You call out his name as you come then flop against the bed. 

“Tha- that was my first.” Your words are breathless and you don’t even remember finishing the sentence but John seems to understand. 

“I’m glad I was your first.” He says, pressing another kiss on your cheek. You prop yourself up on your elbows so you can watch him pump his cock a few more times. It makes your mouth water, you want him inside of you. You need him. He chuckles almost like he can hear your thoughts. He moves so he’s straddling over you and his strong arms move you into position so you’re further back on the bed and against the pillows. 

“Are you ready?” He asks, You look up at him. You can see kindness in his eyes, and something else too. Greed. You have to remember this man paid to be here with you. 

You nod. 

“Good girl.” He mumbles, the words make you shiver and he smiles. “Do like that? Being called a good girl?”

“Maybe.” You say as you feel the head of his cock press against your entrance. You look up at him apprehensively and he seems to feel it on you too. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll go slow.” He says and as he does he presses into you. There’s a burn and a stretch, way more than his fingers. 

“Breathe.” He reminds you still inside of you. You had no idea you’d stopped breathing. You feel full. “Does it hurt?” 

“No, it feels good.” You say, he smiles and looks down between you both. 

“I’m going to move okay. Let me know if anything hurts.” 

You nod. He’s being way nicer than you thought he was going to be, and he’s right he does take it slow rocking his hips then stilling inside of you letting you get used to him. You’re not sure how long you do this for but when your breathing starts to pick up and you squirm under him he starts to speed up.

You moan for him, throwing your head back into the cushions. 

“Touch yourself.” He says, you move one of your hands down to your clit without even thinking. The contact makes you squeeze around John’s cock and he stills inside of you pressing kisses into your neck. “Don’t stop.”

You nod and speed up your fingers to try and time them with John’s now feverish pace. It feels like everything inside you is expanding with each thrust of his cock. It’s nothing like you thought it was going to be but at the same time it’s amazing and you don’t want it to end. Every time you clench around John he grunts and his pace falters. 

You like that you have this strange power over him but you know you can’t hold it for much longer, your own fingers are struggling to keep up. Everything is so sensitive, each movement sends throbs through your body. It's something you could never experience by yourself, not even with the shitty vibrator you have at home. 

“You feel good.” You say between pants. You’re not sure what you’re supposed to say during sex, John chuckles and hooks his arms under your knees pulling you up. “Fuck.” You moan as he hits a whole new spot you didn’t even know was there. Your hand presses hard on your clit, you’re getting close now and you know he can feel it. 

“Oh love, I’m going to fill you up. So fucking full with my come.” He blabbers as he drives into you faster, it feels so good though and your brain can hardly formulate a response. 

“Please, please.” You murmur back, you want whatever he’ll give you. “I want your come, John.”

“Oh yes, and you’re going to get it.” He replies and you clench around him again, he lets out a low guttural groan that sends shivers down your whole body. 

“Yes, please. John!” You cry out his name throwing your head back as he pushes you over the edge. It’s a whole body experience, you’re still crying out for John as he pumps into you a few more times before he stills and you feel his cock throb, filling you up. 

“Christ, fuck.” He grunts, rocking his hips and making you twitch from over stimulation. He pulls out and you look down to see his cock still dripping, he fists it a few times squeezing out the last few drops of cum on his fingers before pressing them inside you. You whine as he curls his fingers hitting that perfect spot again. 

“I know, I know.” He coos. “Don’t want you wasting a drop though.” He pulls his fingers all the way out before pressing them back inside. His other hand finds your clit and his fingers rub tight circles. 

“John. I can’t.” You squirm. 

“Shh, yes you can. C’mon love give me one more.” His voice is low and reassuring. 

“Yes, yes.” You agree mindlessly arching your back as he speeds up his fingers. You can feel his come dripping out of you and the sounds of wet sex fill the air. His fingers on your clit are relentless and it’s not long before you feel yourself getting closer to the edge. 

“John.” 

“Come, love. Come for me.” He orders, you nod and cry out as you come throbbing around his fingers. As he works you through your fourth orgasm your body suddenly feels exhausted. You lay there panting and look at John who bends over to kiss you. It’s long and slow, you can taste yourself on him. When he breaks from the kiss he pulls his fingers out of you and brings them to your lips. 

You can see them slick with white come, you open your mouth and let him press his fingers deep into your mouth. You lick them clean watching as his eyes glaze over. He presses his fingers as deep as he can go and you almost gag but before you do he pulls them out. 

“Good girl.” He says, you smile at the praise, it does something to you, it makes the burn come back in your core. He stands back up and without dressing goes over to the drinks tray. 

“Whats your drink?” He asks. 

“Gin.” You say, he nods and fills the glasses topping yours with tonic. You sit up on the bed not quite sure what happens next. “Come.” he says though going over to the sofa and sitting down. You get up to follow sitting next to him also naked, you pick up your drink as he turns to you and reaches over putting his arm over the back of the sofa. 

“Cheers.” He says, you nod and clink your glass with his before taking a sip. He looks down at you and you’re not sure what to say, you just lean against him resting your head against his shoulder, his free arm wraps around you.

“Thank you.” You say, he chuckles. 

“No problem. You were pretty amazing yourself.” You blush at his words and you look at your discarded dress on the floor. 

“What happens now?” You ask looking up at him, he looks down at you with his deep glossy sapphire eyes. 

“Now we drink, then I’ll teach you how to use that gorgeous mouth of yours.” 

“To do what?” He smiles and presses his thumb over your lips, you part them for him and he sighs. You feel his body relax. 

“Whatever you want. But for now let's start with the basics.” He smiles then presses his lips to yours.

___ banners by cafekitsune

[nikpriceweek]

NikPriceWeek 2026 Announcement

Welcome back comrades! Get prepared for the second edition of NikPrice week ! Whether you are here to write, draw, create renders or simply to enjoy the content, we are all here to spread the love for our favorite duo once again !

If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to us here with asks or our twitter page.

☀️ Prompts ☀️

🍂 Instructions 🍂

❄️ FAQ ❄️

🌱 AO3 collection link: HERE 🌱

Happy creating!

Below the cut are text versions of the attached images

Prompt List

SFW

Day 1 - Under enemy fire

Day 2 - Road Trip

Day 3 - Snowed In

Day 4 - A well deserved break

Day 5 - Date Night

Day 6 - Alternate Universe

Day 7 - Meeting the Family

NSFW

Day 1 - Fully clothed / cockwarming

Day 2 - Scent Kink

Day 3 - Exhibitionism

Day 4 - Aftercare

Day 5 - Dry Humping

Day 6 - Roleplay

Day 7 - Anonymous / Secretive Sex

Instructions:

This year’s ship week has a theme! NikPriceWeek2026 revolves around Four Seasons: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter.

2. Participants will still follow the usual format of 7 SFW and 7 NSFW prompts with a total of 14 prompts of your choosing. You are free to choose either prompts or both, you can also combine prompts, go nuts!

3. Every entry must incorporate a seasonal theme in some way, however there are no strict requirements on how you use the seasons. You are completely free to structure your week however you like, for example:

All 7 days can be centered around Winter

7 prompts divided into 2 Summer, 3 Autumn and 2 Spring related prompts

Alternating seasons every day

4. The only requirement is that the chosen prompt reflects the atmosphere, symbolism, aesthetic or the feeling of a season.

5. Participants who manage to include all four seasons across their entries will receive a special commemorative art illustrated by our honorary artist!

6. You’re free to post your entries wherever you’d like. We’ll mainly be on Twitter and Tumblr to interact and reblog/retweet posts!

7. All content should be tagged accordingly (e.g., NSFW, sensitive topics like MCD/dubcon etc)

8. No plagiarism, No AI

9. Be respectful to all creators, no harassment or hate allowed

10. Posting period starts from 6/7/2025 to 12/7/2025

11. Late submission extended to 6/8/2025

FAQ

Can I include other characters and relationships in my work?

Absolutely. But the focus should be on Nikprice as they are the heart of the event, entry focused on another pairing as the primary will not be accepted.

Does it have to be "reboot" Nikprice?

OG/Vintage Nikprice is very welcome. How about vintage Price and reboot Nik, or vice versa? All the Niks and all the Prices, please and thank you.

Can I mix sfw and nsfw prompts?

Yes. NSFW prompts are only limited to 18+ accounts and just make sure your work is tagged appropriately

Eligibility for the commemorative art

To qualify for the special commemorative art, you only need at least one entry featuring each season (Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter). This means even participants who completed only 4 prompts total can still earn the art, as long as all four seasons are represented across their entries.

[moody-alcoholic]

Hell yeah I'm so excited!! 🥰

[moody-alcoholic]

Where Blood Meets Flame

Chapter 40 - Truce and Traitors

Summary: Fourth Wing x COD, alternate universe, poly 141 x reader. WC: 9.3k CW: Death, blood, fighting, cannon typical violence, angst, hurt/comfort, smoking.

AN: Sorry these chapters are taking so long to get out, there are 2 chapters left before the fic splits.

Previous parts - Masterlist - next AO3

Gryphons are social creatures. When we die, they die. When we suffer they suffer. Gryphons rely on others and do not do well alone, they like to remain close to other gryphons or humans, especially the human they are bonded to. It has been shown that prolonged distance from either other gryphons or humans can have detrimental effects on a gryphon's mental and physical health. - Behaviour and Habits of Gryphons Professor Neil

___

You’ve never flown so fast in your life. 

You can feel Ayze’s anger mix with your own, you’re going to scorch him. Ayze has spent all her time hunting Gamarth, she deserves revenge. You both do. 

“Gamarth is asking for us to land in the cleaning.” Ayze says. 

“What?” You ask shocked.

“Gamarth is asking-” 

“No.” You say. “We can’t trust him.” You see his dragon dip down towards the cleaning between the mountains, he’s not attacking you. Maybe you should follow him. 

“We’re here!” You hear John’s voice in your head and Lundra roars behind you. 

“Erik wants to meet.” You relay to them. You’re all circling above the cleaning, you scan between the mountains for venin or wyverns anything that will tell you this is a trap. Oarsirias and Lundra are here with you, you can’t see anything, but the rising sun is not on your side. You see Erik slide down his dragon. You can’t circle him forever, you need to make a decision. 

“Let's land and see what he wants.” John orders, you nod and Ayze dives first. You all land on the other side of the clearing. Erik is unarmed and stands with his hands up as you slide down Ayze’s side, you walk around and in front of her. You hear her growl as she lowers her head and blows smoke behind you. 

Erik walks over to you slowly as Lundra and Oarsirias land on either side of Ayze. You stay where you are and wait for him to move over to you. He looks skinnier than you remember, or maybe it’s just been too long. 

“Not a step closer!” John’s voice echoes around the space as he draws his sword. 

“John, he’s unarmed.” You say. 

“He’s venin.” Simon cautions. Eriks stops and Ayze growls again. 

“It’s good to see you.” Erik says. You scoff.

“What do you want?” You snap at him. 

“I wanted to warn you about what the venin are planning.” He says, you clench your jaw. 

“Why?” John asks. 

“Because-” He pauses and scoffs, shaking his head. “I don’t know. I just. Maybe it’s because it’s what Liz would have done.” You feel anger pulse through you and you step up to him. 

“You don’t get to speak her name after everything you’ve done!” You snap at him, you raise your hand almost like you’re going to slap him but you can’t. Erik winches, you should let Ayze scorch him. 

“I want to help.” He says. You tut and shake your head. 

“Little late for that.” Simon says, you quickly glance behind you to see Simon to your left also holding his sword out. Erik sighs and puts down one of his hands before slowly reaching behind him. You pull your axe off your hip. 

“Don’t fucking move!” You snap. He hesitates. 

“It’s just a folder.” He continues to move his hand and pulls out a thick brown folder out of his bag. You hear John move and you lower your hatchet back onto your hip and take the folder. It’s heavy, filled with papers and mastiffs, you flick through it not sure what you’re looking at. 

“They’re planning a massive attack, their plan is to take Tyrrendor Province.” Erik says. “They’re waiting for something, I’m not sure what but as soon as it happens they’ll attack.” 

“When?” John asks as you pass him the folder. 

“I don’t know, they won’t tell me much anymore.” He sounds disappointed then nods at John. “It’s everything I managed to get from the past few weeks, mastiffs, maps, copies of letters and my own knowledge." 

“There’s no way they’re big enough to take over the whole region." Johnny says. 

“Their army is bigger than you think, and they have reinforcements coming from The Barrens.”  

“So they are in The Barrans?” You ask, Erik shrugs. 

“Thats where they’re hiding at least.” 

“Nothing survives in The Barrens.” Simon says. 

“Venin do.” Erik says darkly. A cool breeze makes you shiver and you look back at John who is still flicking through the folder.

“You don’t have to believe me but I'm telling the truth. Berwyn is planning something big.” Erik says.

“How will we know when they’re moving?” You ask. 

“Thats up to you to figure out.” Erik says, tipping his head to the side. “I’ve risked enough coming to tell you and giving you that.” He gestures at the folder. 

“How come you didn’t get into trouble after you helped me escape?" You ask.

“I did, but they need Gamarth.” 

“They have wyverns.” Simon snaps.

“They need dragons.” Erik replies almost like it’s obvious. 

“Is that why they have all the dragon eggs?” John asks. 

“I don’t know.” He says. You sigh and turn back to look at John who nods and steps up behind you stashing the folder in your medical bag.

“What will they do if they find out you’ve leaked this intel?” John asks, it’s a pointless question, everyone knows what will happen. 

“Kill me? If I'm lucky.” He says with a shrug and a slight smile on his lips. 

“You should get out of here.” You say, he nods and turns to leave for a second then turns back. 

“If you were going to fix the wardstone, now is a better time than ever.” He turns again and heads towards his dragon. 

“This doesn't mean I forgive you!” You call back to him as he mounts Gamarth. 

“I know. It’s not your forgiveness I’m looking for.” He replies sadly, you sigh as his dragon launches. You know who he’s talking about, you hope she never forgives him. 

___

When you make it back to The Riorson house John drags you all into a meeting with the assembly. The room is filled with generals and even major Graves is here leaning against the long table which is covered in maps. 

“We heard about your victory on the pass.” Fen says smiling, you’re not even sure if you’ve seen him smile before. 

“With minimal losses too.” General Shepherd says. 

“One-four-one took no casualties and our team was able to hold off the assaults as well as the attack on the field hospital.” John says. 

“We managed to clear the smaller routes around the main pass with the help of the ground forces and Shadow Wing.” Simon adds. 

“Very good, I’m sure the report will be an interesting read.” General Shepherd says, you almost roll your eyes at the thought of having to write your report. 

“We have other news too.” John reaches into his flight jacket pulling out the mastiff and walking up to the table handing it to Fen. “This was delivered personally by a royal Poromiel envoy.” The room goes quiet while Fen reads it, Ulices leans in to see and Fen shows it to him before clicking his fingers. 

Everyone but the people sitting behind the table move and leave the room leaving just one-four-one and the assembly. 

“How did this happen?” Fen asks, his smile is now gone. 

“It was a single gryphon.” John says, crossing his arms. 

“You can’t go.” 

“I wasn’t here to ask for permission.” John says rocking on his feet, you can’t help smiling. “Besides that isn’t the biggest news.” John turns to look at you, you frown for a second then remember Erik and the papers pulling your bag around to your front and opening it handing the folder to John. 

“This was delivered to us by Erik Rowan.” John says and you look around them all for their reaction. “It contains the plans about the venin’s next attack, they plan on taking over the Tyrrendor Province." Ulices laughs but no one else says anything. John slams the folder on the table and everyone turns to look at him. 

Fen reaches out for the folder and flicks it open scanning over the pages in silence flicking past some of them quicker than others.

“Can we trust him?” Fen asks. 

“We have no idea if the intel is usable. We have to wait for the venin to make their first move.” John says. 

“That's risky.” Colonel Mairi says. 

“Yes, but if this intel is good we’ll have an advantage.” John says. 

“We have no advantage if our wardstone is still inactive.” Fen says. “Fixing that is our priority, not running off to see a King who just attacked us.” 

"Wouldn't negotiation be the best course of action?” Lady Cardulo asks. 

“We have people for that, not the main unit protecting Aretia.” Fen says before looking at you. “Have you made any progress?” 

“I’ve been busy.” You say with a sigh. “The only lead we have is the life rune but we can’t do that without taking a life.” “Stones are not living beings.” Ulices says. 

“No, but wardstones are imbued with magic, it's the best lead we have.” You say you don't really know what else to give them. You can see Fen thinking, his lips are pressed together. 

“There are plenty of people in the Capitals cells, I’m sure we can figure something out.” Fen says shrugging. 

“Wh-what we’re not killing someone.” You snap.

“It may be the only choice we have.” John says. You close your mouth, snapping your eyes to him, you don’t want people to die. You step forward so you’re standing next to John. 

“Let us go to Cordyn. We can negotiate with King Tecarus and raid their libraries for information. The life rune was Poromielish knowledge my father developed it when he was still studying at Cliffsbane.” You’re pleading with him, there has to be a way to do this without killing someone. 

“Cliffsbane was destroyed." Usils reminds you, your eyes snap to him. 

“Yes but its library was transferred to Cordyn.” You say. “There has to be something we missed. Even if we revive the stone we still have no idea how to activate it.” 

“King Tecarus will give us what we need and in the meantime we can at least try and find out what he is planning, if he’s even planning anything.” John says. “It will take days before envoys and royal negotiators get here from Calldyr City. We can be in and out in under forty-eight hours.”  

Fen is thinking, Ulices leans over and whispers something in Fen’s ear.

“I think it’s a good idea.” Mairi says. “Maybe we should vote on their plan?” He shrugs looking around the table. 

“We don’t need to vote.” Fen says standing up and pressing his palms on the table. “You can go to Poromiel but you only have permission to negotiate for Tyrrendor Province." He turns to look at you. “You have seventy-two hours.” 

___

That night you can’t sleep, there is so much to think about. What if you go to Poromiel tomorrow and the King just executes you all? No, he wouldn’t be that stupid, who knows what his ulterior motives really are. Then there’s Erik and the fact that he risked his life to get you all valuable intel you can use in your fight against his very kind. You turn to see Johnny fast asleep beside you, his face squished against the pillow as he snores. 

You sigh and peel his arm off you heading out to the balcony across the hall. You don’t bother throwing on a flight jacket, you want to feel the sting of the cold night, maybe it will clear your head. You close your eyes breathing in the cool air and trying not to think about the nine hour flight tomorrow.  

“Hey.” You turn to see Simon walking up to you. You can’t even force a smile at him, he turns leaning up against the wall of the balcony. The sky is clear and the night is cold. 

“Hey.” You sigh, he reaches into his flight jacket pocket and pulls out a cigarette and a box of matches. “How are you feeling?” 

“Fine. Just thinking.” You reply. “About Erik?” He asks lighting the cigarette. 

“Yeah.” For a few moments neither of you says anything, you just look out over the city of Aretia and the dark clear sky. You’re glad that it’s Simon out here with you right now, he likes the silence and you’re not really in the mood to talk. You just lean against the balcony watching the smoke swirl around his head. 

“Is Ayze still mad at Tahpe?” he asks when his cigarette is half smoked. You reach out for her down your bond but you can’t feel anything, she must be sleeping or she’s closed you out. 

“I think so.” You say. “It’s not really his fault though.” 

Simon hums.

“You did well with the assembly, I know they’re desperate for you to fix the wardstone but it’s not just your responsibility.” He says, you know he’s trying to help. 

“Thanks.” You sigh, but it is your job. Your father was the one who was trying to raise a wardstone in Poromiel, his research is the closest thing you have to figuring out how to fix this. A wardstone has never been drained by a venin before, this is new for everyone. 

You shiver. Simon flicks the cigarette off the balcony and shoves off his flight jacket. 

“You don’t have to.” You try to stop him but he just tuts and places his jacket over your shoulders. “Thank you.” 

“Do you think we can trust him?” He asks in a low voice. You look up at the sky, night is filled with stars and you smile as you see a shooting star glide across the moon. You make a wish, a wish that you hope you’re right because you can’t see more people getting hurt. 

“I have no idea. He risked his life for this.” 

“He risked his life helping you escape.”

“You heard him, they need his dragon and we know they have dragon eggs.” You say, you close your eyes remembering Erik’s face when you saw him today. He was almost pleading with you, you think back to the documents John handed over to Fen and the other members and Generals. “I don’t know if we can trust him.”

Simon hums and you pull his jacket tighter around you. 

“We need him though. If we want intel on the venin on their movements then we need him.” 

“He knows that, he’ll use it to his advantage even if he doesn’t realise it.” Simon says. “If he’s looking to get out he knows he needs us.” 

“What do you think we should do?” You ask, turning to look at him. 

“We use him. If his intel is good we can’t ignore the huge advantage we now have.” He says it with a coldness in his voice. 

“And if the intel is bad?” 

“Then Ayze can get the revenge she desires.” 

___

You’re getting ready to fly to Cordyn just as the sun is peaking over the horizon. You look at Tahpe strapped with the supplies, the wounds on the side of his neck look angry. He seems to be holding his head lower too, even though he stands at the front of the flight formation Ayze looks like the one incharge. 

“You couldn’t carry the supplies after you injured him yesterday.” You say to Ayze. She blows steam out her nose. “You could be a little nicer to him.” 

“He should not have got my daughter pregnant then.” Ayze says. 

“It’s not like he can help it.” 

“Everyone has a choice. He chose wrong.” She says. 

“She did offer, he refused.” Oarsirias' voice fills your head. You turn to look at her standing behind Tahpe. It makes you smile slightly. 

“Are you okay to be flying long distances?” You ask her. 

“I’m fine,” she turns her attention to Tahpe. “It’s him I am worried about.” You watch as she lovers her head and nips at his tail. He reacts by raising his head and standing proud, but you watch the wince in his eyes. 

“Okay, gather round.” John says behind you, making you jump. You turn to see him and the others coming towards you. Johnny comes over to you and smiles. “We have a long trip today and we want to try and make it before sunset.” 

“Can Tahpe fly that fast?” Kyle asks, Tahpe grumbles. 

“He’ll be fine.” John says. 

“What about Oarsirias?” Johnny asks, she roars. 

“Do not treat me differently!” She snaps, everyone turns to look at her with her wings outstretched.

“Everyone is going to be okay. We wouldn’t be leaving if that wasn’t the fact.” He hands us all our maps for the journey you feel like you know pretty well by this point. You hear a screech and look up to see Thape flying down. 

“I’m coming with you!” She says. “You’re not leaving me behind this time.” She jogs over to you and nuzzles her face against yours. 

“Okay, okay. You can come.” You say turning to scratch above her nose. You smile, turning back to John who nods and continues to talk about the mission. You only half listen watching the dragons and trying to pick up on how they’re feeling, at least Thera always seems fine and you scratch behind her ear. 

When you finally take off you enjoy the cool wind as you sore higher and the way the morning condensation collects on your flight goggles. The sun rises blanketing the sky in a burnt orange that reminds you of Simon's eyes. You turn to look at him and Oarsirias but instead you see Thera flapping her wings then soaring next to Ayze. 

You smile at her as you break through the clouds and she’s coated in condensation making her feathers shine. She’s good at keeping up with Ayze now but the journey will still be hard on her. You look back down Ayze’s neck towards the front of the formation, Tahpe leads and despite his injuries seems to be keeping a good pace. 

For once you let yourself enjoy the privilege of the position you’re in. You’re flying halfway across the continent to negotiate with a king who just attacked you atop a dragon who would protect you with their life. You have two dragons and a gryphon and four people who love you. You close your eyes letting out a long breath and breathe in the cold morning air. 

Right now in this moment you feel like the luckiest person on the continent. 

…

The sun is setting as you fly down to Cordyn Palace’s courtyard, your thighs are killing you and your arms are stiff from flying so fast. Your legs almost give out as you slide down Ayze’s side and hit the ground. You see Kyle coming towards you as Ayze takes off and down the steps walks the same envoy who delivered the first message flanked by guards. 

“Welcome, we’re so happy to receive you. King Tecarus is waiting in the assembly hall.” He says bowing at you. “We would ask that you leave all your weapons with our guards, they will be returned to you when you leave.” 

You all look around each other, you feel naked without your weapons. Thera chirps and jogs over to you nuzzling your back, you turn and rub her beak. 

“You have bought a gryphon?” The man asks, you still don’t know his name. 

“She’s mine.” You say defensively, the man looks sceptical for a second. 

“You’re bonded to a dragon and a gryphon?”

“It’s a blood bond. She used to be my fathers gryphon.” You explain. 

“Well, your dragons and gryphon are always welcome here.” He forces a smile then gestures at the guards. “Now please, your weapons.” 

…

The assembly room in Cordyn Palace is nothing like the one at The Riorson House. The white marble walls are accented with gold trim and the crimson uniforms of the palace guards stick out. It reminds you of blood on snow. King Tecarus sits in the centre chair of the long assembly table with a half naked woman on his lap. 

“Welcome!” He booms, slapping the woman’s behind, she gets off his chair and walks over to a tray with six wine glasses on them. She picks it up then goes over to the king who takes one off the tray. “You’ve had such a long flight. Please take a drink with me.” 

You’re not going to drink anything he offers you, he just attacked you and called for you to come and talk to him and now he’s offering you wine. If you refuse it could mean you don’t trust him and it would look extremely bad, he could just kick you out of the palace on that alone. 

“Do we trust this?” Johnny asks in your head as the woman stops at John. John reaches out and takes a drink. 

“We don’t have much of a choice.” He says and the woman moves over to you where you take a goblet. You try to remember what you know about poisons, you carry basic antidotes but for anything Poromielish you’re going to have to rely on them and that they have the antidote. An antidote they can then dangle over your head. 

Once everyone has a goblet the king raises his and the woman goes back to stand next to him. You try to take a sniff of the drink without looking disrespectful but it just smells of strong wine. That's the good thing about putting poison in wine, it can mask the taste and smell pretty well. If someone gets poisoned you need to be ready. 

What do you need to do? Try and make them throw up would be the first step, the activated charcoal you carry will do that. 

“Please, join me in welcoming the riders to our glorious palace.” King Tecarus says standing up and raising his goblet. Everyone else stands too. “We’re glad you’re here and that you’ve had a safe journey.” 

He drinks. 

You hesitate waiting for John who brings the goblet to his lips and you all do the same, you drink as little as possible without looking rude and hold the alcohol on your tongue trying to see if anything tastes off about it, it just tastes like a regular sweet Poromielish wine. You turn to look around at Johnny, Simon and Kyle. They all look fine, the king smiles and lowers his goblet on the table. 

“I have a proposition, Major Price.” The king says as he sits back down and everyone else follows. “In order for me to halt my attacks on the Medaro Pass I ask two things. That your country opens its borders to refugees and that you will keep the Medaro Pass safe and accessible to the people fleeing the wyvern and venin attacks.”

“I am not here to speak for the entirety of Navarre. I am only here to negotiate for Tyrrendor Province.” John says, the woman is coming back around to collect your goblets. 

“Well, it's a good thing that the Medaro Pass is located in Tyrrendor Province” King Tecarus smiles. 

“We can open the border to refugees but we would need some assistance from Poromiel to help house and provide for them.” John says, so this is what him, Fen and the other generals were talking about. What John could and couldn’t offer. 

“We can send some soldiers with provisions if you promise not to attack them.” “As long as you promise they won’t stay.” John says, King Tecarus smiles again and takes a long drink of his wine. “Deal.” He clicks his fingers and a scribe rushes over to him. “Write up a decree, to be signed by myself and Major Jonathan Price, the representative from Navarre. They will open the Pass to our refugees and we will provide them with one hundred soldiers to help set up temporary settlements and provide them with provisions to last… shall we say two months?" The scribe nods and rushes out the room. 

“Well, it seems like we have managed to clean this little mess up very quickly, Major.” You can tell there is something else, something else he wants to ask. 

“You didn’t have to attack us to ask.” 

“I needed to make sure you’d listen.” He smirks, a lump forms in your stomach. Innocent people died, he let people die just to get access to something he would have already had if he asked. 

“One more request, Major.” The king leans forward. “I would like to see your team fight again-”

“No.” John says. 

“No?” King Tecarus asks. 

“No. I will not put my team in danger.” he crosses his arms. The king smiles, cocking his head to the side. 

“How about only two of you?” He asks, smiling. 

“This isn’t a negotiation.” John crosses his arms. 

“I’ll fight.” Johnny says, stepping forward. Your head snaps to Simon and you see fear flash in his eyes. 

“Me too.” You step forward before Simon can. You watch his hands grip into fists and Kyle steps up to you resting his hand on your shoulder. Simon can’t fight this again, not when he’s done it once before and it all but broke him. You won’t let him go through that ever again. 

John clenches his jaw and turns to look at you all his eyes flick between you and Johnny. 

“Well, Major looks like we have reached yet another agreement.” You look past John at the king who is standing up again with a massive smile on his face. 

…

The arena is filled with cheering and shouting patrons. You still can’t get over how large the place is. You can see out across the ocean and tonight the wind is blowing salt filled air around the U shaped structure. You look at Johnny, you’ve both been equipped with a wooden shield and a longsword. The king is making some speech about how it’s an amazing opportunity to witness dragon riders fighting. 

“I do not like this.” Ayze gumbles, you look up at the walls of the arena to see all your dragons perched on the walls. 

“Me neither.” You reply. “But it’s one venin, we can take on one.” You look at Johnny who swings the sword in his hand. 

“We got this.” He winks at you as the king finishes his speech and the crowd roars, it’s so loud it feels like it makes the ground shake. You both look over at the entrance to the arena as the portcullis rise and the biggest venin you have ever seen steps out into the arena. 

“Fuck.” Johnny says as he walks towards you, he only has a sword and Johnny will easily be able to deal with that. “Whats the plan?” 

“Can you get rid of his sword?” You ask, keeping your eyes on the venin who stalks over to you, you and Johnny start to put some space between you both. 

“Yeah, you think he has a signet?” He asks. 

“Hopfully one we can deal with easy.” You reply, but he’ll have an advantage there. He can channel unlimitedly from the ground, unlike you and Johnny who are limited by your dragon's energy. 

“A necessary limitation.” Ayze grumbles in your head. She’s been so moody since she found out about her daughter. You don’t have time to worry about that right now though you need to focus. You can shield yourself and Johnny and you’ll have plenty of time to do it, that sword will be heavy and he’ll swing slow. 

You can see he has wounds too, on his face and arms you assume he’s not being kept in the best conditions and now they’re making him fight. It’s another thing you can use to your advantage, he’ll be tired. Johnny reaches out with one of his hands just as the venin stalks closer and pulls the weapon out his hands. He looks in horror and reaches for a dagger on his hip but the same thing happens. 

Good, now he’s unarmed you can attack, you hear booing around the arena, they don’t seem to like the show you’re putting on, oh well. Johnny swings his sword in his hand again. You both walk around him keeping distance, he looks over at his weapons and smiles then stops. You’re not sure what's going to happen then he holds his hand out and you watch as the metal sword in Johnny’s hand heats up and starts to turn red. 

Johnny screams, dropping the sword and clutching his hand. Fuck, this venin has metallurgy. You keep hold of your sword knowing that if you’re unarmed too the larger venin will have the advantage, you’re about to talk to Johnny in your head to come up with a plan but Johnny launches himself with a roar at the venin. 

You gasp in horror as you see the venin reach out to grab Johnny’s neck, he wraps his slender hand around and squeezes lifting Johnny off the ground. You see power flow down his arm inching closer to Johnny’s skin, he’s going to turn him, you have to stop that. You rush over dropping your shield so you can run faster and reach out for the venin’s free arm. Your heart is pounding in your chest, you need to save Johnny, you can't let this happen to him. 

You press your hand around the venin’s wrist. His head snaps to look at you, before he has a chance to do anything you reach out for Thera’s power, it makes your arms tingle and you imagine sucking all the power out of the venin. The venin struggles as you see the fear in his face but he lets Johnny go. The venin swings at you instead, you drop his wrist and he stumbles back as you dodge his swing. 

You see the mark you’ve left on his pale skin, there is a bright pink patch more akin to what his skin used to be. The venin looks at it in horror. 

“Who are you?” He hisses. 

“Fuck you!” Johnny screams as he swings a sword, slicing it through the venin’s head, severing it there and then. It doesn’t even affect you, the venin is dead and the crowd goes wild. You walk over to Johnny and hear the gates opening on the other side of the arena. You both turn to look and see another venin rushing out. 

“Fuck.” You scoff, it couldn’t be that easy. You and Johnny get back into position and you pick up a sword waiting for the rushing venin to get to you. A dragon roars overhead and you look up to see Ayze fly over the arena, there’s the sound of something wooshing in the air and you look back down to see the venin dead on the floor with an arrow sticking out the back of his head. 

You see the flash of Simon’s mask as he stands in the gateway of the arena exit with a crossbow in his arms. You smile and let out a sigh of relief as John appears beside him. 

“You said one fight!” John uses lesser magic to make his voice boom around the arena. You look over at the royal box and see the king stand and bow before turning to leave. 

The show’s over. 

…

As a reward for fighting in the arena you’re given access to the palace’s library. 

Kyle is with you while Simon, John and Johnny talk with the king. You’ve piled up any books that talk about life runes or anything to do with a wardstone. Kyle is taking one half while you take the other, you have a book open on your lap as you flick through the pages but there isn’t much you don’t already know. 

“Your fathers research must have been pretty cutting edge.” Kyle says. 

“Which means we’re not going to be able to find anything here.” You say slamming the book closed and picking up another one, maybe this one would have answers but you doubt it. You don’t want to think about the alternatives, the only lead you have is the life rune. 

“We’ll figure it out.” Kyle says, you feel anger rise in you. This whole thing is pointless, they keep saying that everything is going to be better but the entire safety of the Tyrrendor Province is resting on your shoulders. You stand putting the book down on the table looking at Kyle. He straightens up in his chair. 

“We have no idea when the venin are going to attack. We have no idea how to fix the wardstone and we’re hundreds of kilometres away!” Your voice reverberates around the library. “Aretia could be being attacked right now and we’re busy trying to negotiate with someone who just attacked us.” 

He looks at you sympathetically and gets to his feet coming over to you. 

“Even if we fail and there is no way to fix the wardstone you tried. You tried your very best no matter what.” 

“It was my fault that she got to the stone in the first place. I was too busy protecting Erik. I should have fought.” 

“You protected your friend.” Kyle says, running his hand up the inside of your arm pulling you closer to him. 

“And he betrayed me.” This time your voice breaks. 

“You couldn’t know that's what he was going to do. No one could predict that.” He sighs and his hand comes up to cup your face. His deep brown eyes twinkle in the warm light from the mage lights. “You shouldn’t feel guilty about this, this is not your burden to carry alone.” You smile slightly and look up at him. 

“I know,” you’re never alone with them around. “I have you.” 

___

You’re all standing around the wardstone back in The Riorson House after spending as little time as possible in Poromiel. You’re scanning through one of the newest books you bought back with you. 

“I keep seeing the words iron flame. That has to mean something.” You sigh, putting the book down with the pages open before picking up one of your fathers diaries. “It could be dragon fire but we’ve already tried that.”

“Maybe we could try with Oarsirias, she’s the most unique dragon.” Johnny suggests.

“The first 6 didn’t have a white dragon, the first white dragon wasn’t born for another fifty years after the wards were raised.” Kyle says, you sigh and press your fingers to the bridge of your nose. 

“None of that even matters when we need to fix the stone first.” You say trying to keep your calm. 

“Okay so why don’t we try the life rune?” Johnny asks, everyone’s head snaps to him and you look up out the skylight as you hear wings, but not dragon wings. Thera lands and looks down into the room. 

“I want to help.” She says then launches herself down into the wardstone room. Everyone steps back to give her room and she comes over to you. She looks at the wardstone and the pile of your fathers diaries on the table. “You need to create another life rune.” 

“We can't, we need to kill someone for that.” You say with a sigh. 

“But that is how you will fix your wardstone.” She says. 

“How do you know?” You ask frowning. 

“Your father did it before, not to a wardstone but he used a life rune to bring someone back from the dead.” She says, you gasp.

“What’s she saying?” John asks. You turn to look at them all watching you and you translate what Thera’s been saying. 

“How? Who did he bring back?” You ask out loud so they can hear. 

“Your aunt.” She replies, you gasp again and translate for the others. “The place she lives used to be a thriving farm until it was attacked by wyverns. Your aunt was killed, your father imbued one of the runes with the life of one of the dying farmers and brought her back.” 

“Thats not possible, because then he would have to-” Your eyes go wide and you look back at the diaries then the wardstone. It was so obvious how did you miss it until now? “He was a syphon.” 

“Your father?” Kyle asks and you nod and you turn back to the letters. “He hid the life rune because he knew it worked. If this intel fell into enemies hands. It could change everything.”

“No one should have the power over life.” Thera says. “Your father knew this, so he hid it and told no one about it.” You look over at Johnny who accidentally imbued a stone with his life, your hands start to shake as you realise what this means. You slowly walk around Thera and lace your fingers through her feathers. 

“There has to be another way.” You say gripping her feathers tight. 

“I am your fathers gryphon, let me complete his life's work.” She replies. 

“You’ll die.” 

“I know.” 

“Whats she saying?” John asks. 

“She wants to be the sacrifice, so Johnny can make the life rune again.” John’s eyes go wide then he turns to look at the others. You see a look on Johnny’s face, the look on all their faces. This is what you need to do, if Thera sacrifices herself you can fix the stone. 

“No no no!” You cry, throwing yourself against her chest.

“Ghost.”  John starts as you bury your head into Thera’s neck feathers. She smells good, of wood like the forests she rests in. “Go get the syphon.” The words hurt and tears sting your eyes. This can’t be happening, you can’t let this happen. 

“No, there has to be another way.” You say as she presses her beak under your armpit, you wrap your arm around her head. “I can’t lose you.” 

“You are my flier, but you’re a rider. You have Ayze and Oarsirias. You don’t need me.” “I do, I do need you.” You plead, she turns away from you and towards the wardstone. You grip her feathers, your heart is pounding in your chest. “You’re my gryphon.” 

“I am your gryphon, but this is my legacy. To finish your fathers work, my fliers work.” She says, you can hear the sadness in her voice, but her pride too. John walks over to you, you don’t know what to say to him. 

“You don’t have to be here.” He says, you look back at Thera who has turned one of her eyes back to you. 

“I’m staying, I’m going to be here.” You say sniffling and stroking her neck. She chirps and nudges you, you stroke her beak. “I’ll be with you, till the end.” 

…

When the syphon shows up you feel sick. A lump drops in your stomach and you can’t get it to go even taking a long drink of water. Thera sits down and that's when reality hits you. This is happening. 

“It’s going to be okay, kind one. I want to do this.” She reminds you, it doesn’t help. 

“This isn’t even your home.” You say as you sit down and lean up against her so you can stroke her neck.

“But it’s yours and it was your fathers. It has become mine.” She says and wraps her wing around you. It’s warm and comforting. It makes more tears come as you try to forget this is the last time you’ll be able to do this with her. 

“There has to be another way.” 

“Maybe, but you don’t have time to find out.” She’s right. She rolls on her side slightly 

“Are you ready?” The syphon asks. You look up at her, you don’t even know her name and she’s about to kill Thera. You look up at Johnny who's waiting for you then over to John, he looks sad it’s almost like you’re waiting for someone else to tell you it’s okay. No one is going to though, they’re giving you time. 

“I’m ready.” Thera says then chirps, the sound makes you smile. 

“We’re ready.” You say. She smiles slightly then presses her hand on Thera’s head and her other hand on Johnny’s arm. 

“I’m here.” You tell her. 

“I know,” she says as you rub down her neck. You can feel her heart beating against your back, you watch strands of yellow curve and twirl around the syphon’s arms from Thera and into Johnny who is moving his hands imbuing the rune. 

“We will not forget this, Theralair.” Ayze says, it brings tears to your eyes. “You are saving our home.”

“I knew you liked me.” Thera replies but it's almost like her words are slurred. You clench your jaw and stroke her slightly quicker, pressing your body closer to her. You pay attention to the little things, how she feels against you, how warm her wig is draped over you. You both watch the syphon pulling the life out of her and it takes everything in you not to tell her to stop. 

“I’m tired.” Thera says after a few minutes of silence. 

“I know, just rest.” Your bottom lip wavers as she closes her eyes. “I love you.” 

“I know, kind one. I love you too.” She lets out a long sigh. “Be brave and strong. You will beat the venin, you’re the strongest rider I know.” 

“You’ve made me stronger.” You say but she doesn’t reply. You feel her heartbeat slow against your back, you wish you could have done it outside in the woods where she liked to live and rest. Instead she’s inside a cold stone room with the warm evening glow shining on her. You see the syphon take her hand off Thera’s head and you know it’s over. You look at Johnny who’s finished imbuing the rune too. 

You close your eyes resting against her as her wing goes limp around you. 

“I am sorry, kind one.” Ayze says. “She was a good gryphon.” 

“The best.” You reply with a sniffle. 

“How are you feeling?” Johnny asks and you open your eyes to see he’s talking to the syphon. She nods and stands up with him. “Good, because you need to do the same again this time from the rune into the wardstone.” 

John comes over to bend down by you, his hand lands on your shoulder. 

“Is there anything I can get you?” He asks, you shake your head as his thumb comes to stroke your cheek. You just want to be alone, but that's not happening right now. You can’t feel her anymore, a part of your mind is empty. John gets back to his feet. “Gaz, stay with her.” 

“I’m okay.” You say but it’s barely audible.

You look up at the wardstone. It looks better than you’ve seen it in weeks, it looks alive. You run your hand down Thera’s neck, you can’t feel her warmth anymore. When you reach out for her in your mind it’s nothing but emptiness. Her eyes are closed, her beak seems to have lost its shine. 

A hand lands on your shoulder but it doesn’t feel warming or calming. You’re stroking your dead gryphon's neck. She gave her life to power a wardstone in a place that was never her home. She did it for your father for you. The skin around her beak is already pale, you feel Kyle bend down next to you, he doesn’t try to wrap his arms around you or anything he just sits there in silence holding your hand. 

“I’m done.” Johnny says, you look over. The syphon looks exhausted, her breathing is laboured as she drops her hand from the wardstone. 

“Ghost, go tell Fen and the assembly.” John says as he offers the syphon a waterskin. You look back at Thera as more tears come, you hear the flap of wings then look up to see Ayze landing outside. She throws her head back and roars, a pained roar to let other dragons know she’s in mourning. You could have never imagined a day where Ayze would mourn a gryphon.

“So you did it!” You hear Fen’s voice and it makes you jump. You hear him walking down the steps. He walks around you and Thera, he’s smiling. You couldn’t imagine being happy right now, or ever again. Fen looks down at you. 

“What happened?” You can barely look at him. 

“Thera gave her life so Johnny could imbue a rune containing life. He used the rune to bring the stone back to life.” Fen walks around the stone avoiding you and Thera on the ground. 

“Her body should be burned.” You say. 

“We don’t have to do anything tonight.” Kyle says bending down by your side.

“No.” Fen adds. “Of course she will be given a full funeral. I will arrange the details myself…” You stop listening, the voices all muddle together as a ringing starts in your ears. You stroke Thera’s neck feeling Kyle next to you squeezing your hand reassuringly. People start to leave and eventually you’re left alone with the people you love. 

“How will you get her body out here?” You ask quietly as Johnny walks into your field of view. 

“Johnny will deal with it.” Kyle says and starts to rub your back nudging Thera’s wing off you. “You don’t have to think about that now.” 

“We should scatter her ashes in Poromiel. It was her home.” You say quietly, Kyle pulls you closer to him. 

“I think that’s a great idea.” Kyle says. 

You don’t even remember what happens next. Your body moves without thinking as Kyle helps you to your feet then wraps his arms around you. You shiver against him then follow him out the wardstone room as John and Simon stay behind and talk with Fen and the other members of the assembly who have all come down to look at the wardstone. And it's still not over, you still need a way to activate the stone. 

“C’mon love, let's get to bed.” He says, you nod aimlessly looking back at Thera’s body one more time. 

“She saved us.” You whisper. 

Kyle kisses the top of your head. “Yeah, yeah she did.” 

___

It's early morning when they burn Thera’s body. 

You’re standing in a field a couple of kilometers away from Ath, Fen was right and she was given a full military send off. You don’t bother holding back your tears, you feel like you’ve lost a part of you. Almost like you’re floating with nothing to move you along. You wouldn’t have even got out of bed today if not for Johnny coaxing you out with your favourite breakfast. 

You barely ate any of it, when you looked in the mirror to brush your hair you looked horrible, like life had been drained out of you, as well your dead gryphon. You look over at Ayze who stands proud off to the side of the funeral pier, she was the one who lit the flames. You’re glad it was her and you’re glad she’s here but it doesn’t make it any easier. 

You lean against John, his hand comes around your waist steadying you but you don’t feel anything other than an overwhelming sadness. There is nothing but a hole in your heart, it hurt less when your father died, this is different. You feel it through every part of you and all you want to do is sleep. The sky is filled with burnt oranges and pinks, she would love it. You remember laying up against her listening to her talk about her life. 

You remember the flight you took to the coast and fresh tears come as you realise you’ll never be able to do that again, the smell of burnt flesh hits your nose and you feel sick reaching out for Simon’s hand next to you. You expect him to drop it but he squeezes your hand back. Most people start to leave but the people you need by your side stay. Johnny’s arm wraps around your shoulder and you lean against him. 

“We can leave whenever you’re ready?” Johnny says into your hair. 

“I know, I want to stay a little while longer.” You say. The fire rages for the next hour, you watch it the whole time, John and Kyle come behind you and rub your back, Johnny keeps whispering reassurances and nice things into your hair. It doesn’t help warm your cold heart though. When the fire starts to burn down Ayze leaves and you take that as your cue too. They stay close by your side as you all walk back through the city of Aretia and to The Riorson House. 

When you make it to the house you hear John and Simon say they have to leave but Johnny and Kyle walk you back to the dorm room, it feels like you’re being moved from place to place by people rather than moving yourself. When you make it to the dorm room you’re already pulling your clothes off and climb into bed. 

“Is there anything you need?” Kyle asks. 

“No,” you murmur but it’s not true. You want your gryphon back but you’re never going to see her again, feel the softness of her feathers or her strong muscles when you’re flying her. Then a dread rises in you, you think about your aunt in Poromiel, she looked after Thera for years and you got her killed in less than a couple of months. Not only that but your aunt died and your father bought her back with the life rune. 

You close your eyes and try not to think about the letter you’ll have to write to her  and think about your trip to the coast. You didn’t know it at the time but it was the last time you ever flew her. You’ll give anything to be able to do it again. 

…

“Love.” You feel fingers brush your cheek, when you open your eyes you see Kyle kneeled down by your head, he strokes your head pushing a strand of hair out your face. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” You say looking over at the window, it’s dark out.

“I know, but maybe you should have something to eat and maybe a bath.” He suggests, you don’t want to move but you really should. It’s been two days and you only leave the bed when you need to use the bathroom. 

“Okay.” Your mouth betrays you. Kyle stays with you, he helps you out of bed and into the bathroom. As he runs the bath you fight with your tangled hair, your body looks gaunt after barely moving or eating the last few days. You turn to Kyle as you hear the bath finish filling, you reach out for his arm and he runs his hand up your inner arm. 

“Join me?” You ask looking up into his eyes, he smiles and brings his hand up to cup your face. 

“Okay.” He says then leaves you so he can strip his clothes, lower yourself into the bath leaving room for him to get in behind you, you lean up against him as he slips into the water and wraps his arms around you. You relax into the water and let it warm you as he strokes your arms. 

“Your father would be proud.” He says after a few moments of silence. 

“Yeah.” Thinking of your father makes you think of your mother. Her and most of the continent will be oblivious to what you did here, they won’t know anything about Thera’s sacrifice or the weeks and months you spent trying to fix the wardstone and they definitely will never hear about the life runes. 

If your fathers letters didn’t hold so much sentimental value you would consider destroying them, he’s right no one should have the power to take or restore life, if that fell into the enemies hands it would be over. Johnny, or any of them would never use the power like that though. 

“What are you thinking?” Kyle asks, pressing a kiss onto the back of your head. You sigh, you can never hide from them, not for long. 

“If you had the power to bring someone back from the dead would you?” You ask, you feel him stiffen behind you and he shuffles. 

“Well, I think it would depend on the situation.” Kyle says. 

“What if it was me?” You hear him gasp. 

“I would have to take another life.” He says. 

“My father did it for his sister.” you don’t know why you’re pushing him, you’re not even sure what answer you want to hear right now. 

“Cheating death is an insult to Malek, and if there is one God I don’t want to piss off it’s him.” Kyle says keeping his answer neutral.

“I wouldn’t worry about Malek.” You chuckle then close your eyes relaxing against Kyle.

“I don’t worry about the Gods. I just worry about you.” He says, his mouth pressed into your hair. You turn in his arms and kiss him, your lips are soft against his and your hands rest on his chest, you can feel his heartbeat under your palm. You press your tongue into his mouth and slide it against his, his kisses are long and slow, his hands run up and down your body when his fingers ghost the scars on the inside of your arms you break from the kiss. 

“Bed?” He asks. You nod in response and kiss him again one more time. You both get out of the bath and wrapped in towels walk back into the dorm room, Johnny is here now with his head in one of the books you bought back from Poromiel, he smiles when he sees you both. 

“I left some books for you to go over.” He gestures over at the bedside table, you nod in response but you’re too tired to go through them today. Kyle follows you over to the bed and you change before getting under the covers. Before you get a chance to lay down you see a large gryphon feather sitting in the centre of one of the pages. 

You pick it up and it and more tears come. 

“I thought you would want something to remember her by.” Johnny says, you look up at him as Kyle sits down next to you and rests his arm over your back. 

“Thank you.” You sniffle, running your fingers over it. 

“Do you mind if I borrow it?” Kyle asks, you turn to him unsure what to say. “I have an idea for it.” 

You hand it over to him, you trust him. 

“I don’t need a feather to remember her, I’ll never forget.”

… 

You wake to pounding on the dorm door. 

John’s arms slip off you as he gets up with a grunt and goes over to answer it. New arms wrap around you, as you roll over in the bed to watch John. You can’t hear who he’s talking to at the door but when he closes it he looks worried. It makes you frown as he turns back to the bed you’re all in. 

“Simon.” Is all he says, Simon doesn’t need to be told twice he gets out the bed looking for his clothes around the room. 

“What is it?” Kyle asks.

“Do you need us too?” Johnny asks, sleepy. 

“No, go back to sleep, it's going to be a long day tomorrow.” John says as he starts to dress himself. 

“What happened?” You ask, it’s almost poetic that the first emotion you feel other than the deep rooted sadness you’ve been living off is worry. John looks at Simon quickly then straightens up. 

“The fliers, they’ve all gone back to Poromiel”

Banners by saradika-graphics & cafekitsune Cheat sheet

[on-a-lucky-tide]

"Ghost."

"Nikolai, how did you get this number?"

"It is... trade secret. I will send you an address. You need to meet me there. Alone."

"Did I have 'mug' printed on my forehead last time we met?"

"I have never seen under your mask."

"Fuck sake, fine... Send the address."

--

Simon spent a few hours scouting the warehouse through the end of his scope. It was empty. Owned by a shell corporation. No one entered and no one left. And then a text pinged through: are you going to wait outside until sunrise?

Bastard.

Instead of walking through the front door, Simon scaled up to the second floor and slipped in through a cracked window. He found Nik by a workbench. He didn't even look up as Simon approached.

"Privyet, tavarishch leytenant," Nik said, holding his hands out either side. If Simon remembered correctly, Nik had a korshun in the back of his belt, and a Udav or a Grach under his arm, as standard. There was no sign of anything else, or anyone else. "Did you come alone?"

"Against my better judgement," Simon replied, keeping his rifle braced against his shoulder. "You?"

"Da. I am glad my judgement of you was accurate."

"Wossis abaht, Nikolai?"

"I have him."

"Price?"

"Da."

"And you f'ought callin' me was a good idea?"

There was a pause. Nik tilted his chin down and then turned slowly. He looked... rough. Unshaven, dark circles under his eyes. He had always reminded Simon a little of Snoopy from the telly, but built like a brick shithouse, with a macabre sense of humour.

"He needs us."

Simon felt his hands tighten on the rifle, a surge of anger winding up his spine. "He left us."

Nik clenched his teeth and dropped his chin, hands rubbing over his hair. "He was there for you when everyone else had abandoned you, no?"

"Don't you focki--"

"When you had driven everyone away like a rabid dog, he was in your corner," Nik bit out. "You owe him. As do I."

Simon's mind filled with it all. The long nights in the rec room when the nightmares wouldn't leave him alone. The annual leave spent together on a beaten old sofa. The missions in the arse end of nowhere. The way Price had cracked silently down the middle on that cliffside.

He lowered his rifle, sighing heavily through his nose. "Take me to him."

--

It was a small apartment in a town not five miles from the warehouse. The sleepy kind that held a market on Saturday and had an honour system for the local library. Ghost wasn't quite ready for the sight that greeted him as he ducked into the living room.

"Drugged?"

"He would have escaped if I had left him conscious while I was out..."

"Oh, he is gonna be bloody hoppin' when he wakes."

"Da," Nik said, sadly.

Price was trussed up good and proper on the sofa. Boots and legs bound, hands behind his back, probably secured against his wrists so he couldn't break his thumbs to get out. "Was the gag necessary?"

"That is because he bit me."

"He bit you..."

"It is not the first time," Nik said, far too fondly.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ..."

Price stirred as Simon placed his rifle against the wall, and the next time Simon looked round, he was met with two blue eyes glaring fiercely at him. They flicked to Nik and narrowed marginally, a very clear 'and fuck you too'.

Nik walked over slowly, and hooked his finger through the gag, pulling it out of Price's mouth and past his chin. The smirk Price flashed looked unnatural on his face; not the big, face-crumpling smile Simon was used to. "Good t' see y'again, Simon."

"We need to have a talk."

Price hummed low in his throat.

"I will make tea," Nik said, tiredly. It was going to be a long night.

[moody-alcoholic]

Going to try and get better at rebloging when I see something I love. And man do I love on-a-lucky-tide and everything he writes.

I'm lazy I should reblog more 😅

[moody-alcoholic]

Heard Price's voice and got goosebumps l can't wait for this.

Also Price vs Ghost!

link

[moody-alcoholic]

Neighbours

John Price x reader WC: 8.5k Part 1 of 2

CW: Dead dove don’t eat, abuse, domestic abuse, suicide attempt, alcohol, violence, blood, implied rape, sexual assault, angst, hurt/comfort, description of wounds.

AN: This is a rough one so strap in. I have been holding on to this one for a while wondering whether or not I should post it but this does have a happy ending. Resources below 

UK domestic violence help UK suicide hotlines US domestic violence help US suicide hotlines

Stay safe out there.

Nothing has changed and nothing ever will. 

But it’s okay, because it’s all your fault.

That’s what you tell yourself as you stand in the bathroom looking at your gaunt face in the mirror. The new busies on your face and neck are going to be hard to cover. You’ve put off going out all weekend hoping they would have faded by Sunday but they’re still there blue and black against your pale skin. 

You open the cupboard under the sink and take out your only tube of concealer, it’s not really perfect to your skin tone but it will have to do. At least it’s cold enough for you to wear a scarf to hide the ones on your neck. You don’t bother trying to hide them with make up, you just focus on the one around your eye. 

You deserved it. You tell yourself. You shouldn’t have fought him, you know how angry he gets but he’s working on it. He’s really trying, it’s been the first time in a long time he’s been so violent. It was your fault anyway, he works so hard, he doesn’t deserve you accusing him of not helping around the house. 

It was stupid. You love him, you know how busy he is. You already do everything and it’s not a problem, bringing it up only got you in this position. You finish patting the concealer around your eye and blend it in before reaching back into the cupboard to put it away. 

Your hand brushes over his razor. He has a nice razor, an expensive old metal one with removable blades, you pick it up looking at the sharp edges and feel the weight of it in your hands. 

Could you do it? You’ve thought about it. You turn your hand looking at the inside of your wrists. You’ve heard it’s painless, if you do it right of course. You feel a sick sense of curiosity burn in the back of your mind. A couple of long slashes and it would all be over. Gone forever. 

It almost feels reliving. 

There’s a bang on the door pulling you out your head and you drop the razor on the tile floor. 

“Hurry up! What are you doing in there? I need to piss.” 

“Sorry.” Your voice shakes like you’ve just been caught doing something you shouldn’t have. He doesn’t wait for you to come out, instead opening the door just as you stand back up. He steps over to you looking around your face before seeing the razor in your hand. 

“What have I said about messing with my stuff? This was expensive.” He snaps, yanking it out your hand and putting it back. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” You say hanging your head and stepping out the way so he can get to the toilet. You leave the bathroom quickly and go into the kitchen to get your list and bags. You wait until you hear your boyfriend make it back to the sofa before leaving the room. You grab a beer from the fridge to give to him. Maybe he’ll take it as an apology and forget about it. 

“I’m going to the shops.” You remind him as you pass it to him. He hums from the sofa but doesn’t turn to look at you or stop you so you go over to pull on your coat and a scarf. He opens the can distracted by whatever show he’s watching. You open the door. 

“Don’t forget anything.” He snaps just as you walk through the door. 

“I won’t.” You promise hoping the store will have everything you need today. Without saying goodbye you close the door and lock it behind you. You let out a shaky breath still feeling the adrenaline pulsing through you warming your face. You go over to call the lift and shuffle in your feet trying to calm yourself. 

You like being about to go out to the store, he never wants to come and it’s the only real time you get away from him. Other than work you’re with him almost 24/7. The lift dings and you step back waiting for the doors to open. As they do you see a man stepping out. 

“Oh, sorry.” You mutter moving out the way. 

“S’alright.” He smiles and you get a better look at him. He’s your neighbour, you’ve only seen him a handful of times since he moved in a few months ago. He frowns at you and you immediately panic, hoping he can’t see the bruise around your eye. “What happened?” 

Shit. 

“I fell in the bath. Hit my head on the tap.” You lie as best as you can. 

“Oh, you know you should get one of those nonslip bath mats.” He says walking over to his door. 

“Yeah, thanks.” You say taking your place in the lift. 

“I’m John by the way.” He holds his arm out, you’re frozen in the lift doors. You’re never allowed to talk to other men let alone shake hands with one but you don’t want to be rude so you shake his hand telling him your name. The lift doors try to close and you quickly jump in so you don’t get squished. 

“See you round.” He waves, you force a smile back at him as the doors close. Your heart hammers in your chest, if your boyfriend saw that you would never live it down. You were being friendly, he’s your neighbour, you try to rationalise with yourself but it doesn’t work. Any man is a threat, especially someone like John. 

…

When you make it back to the flat a couple of hours later you’re almost scared to run into John again. The handle on the bag you bought broke half way home and now you’re having to hold it in both hands against your chest as you struggle to press the buttons on the lift. 

You sigh thinking about how horrible the last few days have been. Maybe it will get better on Monday, it’s just been a bad week you’re sure. When the lift dings and the door opens your blood runs cold. 

There in the doorway of his flat is John, he’s dressed in a casual shirt and jeans kneeling on the floor with a screwdriver in one hand pressed into the lock. 

“Hey.” He beams as he sees you, you step out the lift, your heart pounding so hard you feel like you can’t breathe. “Lock keeps jamming.” He gestures at the work he’s doing. You swallow hard, not sure what to say. 

“We had the same problem. Had to replace the lock.” You manage to say. He sighs and stands up.

“I hope it doesn’t come to that.” He looks good, strong arms and a flat chest with a slightly rounded belly, he looks good and he’s still smiling as you struggle to get the key out your pocket. 

“Need a hand?” He asks. 

“No, thank you.” You reply a little too quickly. You could use the help but you can’t risk it, heat rushes to your face as you struggle to hold the heavy bag. When you finally do get the key your hand is shaking and it takes you two attempts to get it in the lock. You’re well aware of his eyes on you. 

You open the door with such force you trip over the small step losing control of the bag, you watch as the packet of dried pasta hits the corner of the hall table and splits, spreading the pasta all over the entryway. 

Shit. 

Your boyfriend looks up from the sofa, you can see the irritation on his face. You put the bag down next to the shoe rack and pick up the split bag of pasta, you hear him muttering curse words as he stands up to come and see what's going on.

“Sorry.” You say looking at the mess. You’re humiliated, worse you’ve messed up and now who knows what he’s going to do. You were supposed to be cooking this tonight. 

“Sorry, I think that was my fault.” John says stepping into the doorway, your boyfriend's eyes narrow onto him. 

“It’s not.” You protest turning to make sure he’s not going to shout at John. 

“Well, clean it up.” He says, you nod and rush into the kitchen to get the dustpan and brush. When you come back you see that your boyfriend has stepped around the pasta and is now shaking hands with John. 

“Nice to meet you.” He says, you can hear the clench in his teeth. 

“John Price.” John introduces himself. 

“Martin.” Your boyfriend replies. “Don’t worry about her, she's always dropping or tripping over things. Fell over the sofa yesterday, her head went smack right into the coffee table.” 

You wince, you told John a different lie, you hope he doesn’t bring it up. Instead you feel heat rushing to your face as you scoop up the rest of the pasta. 

“It’s no bother, I just moved in next door. If there is anything you need just give me a shout.” John says quickly moving the subject on. Your hands shake as you brush up the pasta into the pan. “I’ve not been around much work keeps me busy.” 

“What do you do for work?” 

“Army.” As he says it you can’t help looking over at him again. You never would have guessed the army but now you see him you pay more attention to how strong he looks, he looks older than most military men you’ve been around. 

“What a coincidence!” Your boyfriend exclaims making you jump and you focus back on your task of cleaning up your mess. “I was too, navy!” barely, you think spitefully, not that he would have anyone know. As far as everyone is concerned he served his four years then got discharged. 

“Well, it's always good to meet a fellow soldier.” You bite down on the inside of your cheek so you don’t react and get up having successfully swept up all the dried pasta. 

“Ah, you should join us for football this Saturday!” Your boyfriend says, you turn and look over at John who’s eyes quickly land on you before he smiles and turns back to Martin. 

“Could do, I’ll let you know.” John replies. 

“Good, well. I won’t take any more of your time and again. I’m sorry, she can be so stupid sometimes.” His words should sting more than they should and you head into the kitchen to throw the pasta away. You hear them say bye and the front door is closed and locked. You don’t dare look at your boyfriend right now, it’s almost like you can feel the anger seeping off him. 

He comes over to you with a look of disgust on his face. You expect him to hit you or something worse instead he just leans in and you can smell the smoke and alcohol on his breath. 

“If you ever embarrass me like that again you will live to regret it.” He hisses, you flinch and bite down on the inside of your cheek again tasting blood. “Get this fucking mess cleaned up then go for a shower. I’ve been waiting for you for hours.” Before you can say anything he presses a rough kiss onto your lips forcibly parting your mouth open and pressing his tongue in. 

When he breaks from the kiss you see his eyes dilate and he slaps you hard on the arse before turning back to the sofa. You grip the kitchen counter so hard you break one of your nails. You deserve this, this is your fault, all because someone tried to help you. 

It’s better if no one helps you. 

You clean up as quickly as possible then rush into the bathroom, at least in the shower your tears will be washed away. You strip and open the cabinet reaching in for your body wash and you see the razor sitting there almost like it’s taunting you. 

If you had done it this morning none of this would be happening. Your hand reaches over to pick it up. You could do it now, end the pain now before he can hurt you again. Instead you put it back down and close the cupboard. 

Not now, you’re too scared to do it now. Just like all things in life you’re too scared to take the leap, even if this leap ends the pain. 

___

It’s not a friendly invitation to watch the game, it's a mission, and John has two objectives. Get a good layout of the flat, and get a key. He heard a few people showing up, there are at least 4 other guests tonight, John guesses. He waits until a few minutes before kick off before making the short cross over to your flat. 

When he knocks he rolls his shoulders, this is just recon. Nothing is going to happen tonight. Martin opens the door with a beer in his hand and smiles at John, John does his best and smiles back. 

“Still down for the game. Bought a case.” John says holding up the case of beer he bought from the shop last minute. 

“Thanks man. Yeah, come in.” Martin says stepping to the side so John can walk into the flat, he looks around for you but he can’t see you anywhere. He counted right there were 4 guests who all introduce themselves to John. They all look around the same age as your boyfriend who hands John a beer. 

“So, John. Martin says you’re military too?” One of them asks. 

“Yeah.” He nods, he doesn’t exactly want to get into his military past right now. Besides he needs to make sure they don’t see him as a threat, if they learn he’s a SAS captain it’ll intimidate them. 

“What branch?” Martin asks almost sceptically, John looks at him and smiles. He already pulled Martin’s file. Dishonourably discharged after three weeks in service, one of the messiest records he’d seen in a long time. 

“Just regular TA’s.” John says, taking a drink of the beer. 

“We all served together.” Martin says, gesturing at his friends. John nods looking around them all, none of them seem like a threat, although he wishes he had someone here to support him. No, he can do this. 

The topic for the first half of the game seems to be boasting about their service. Two of them still serve while the other 3 including Martin have left or been discharged. John listens intently trying to figure out which boasts are truth and which are lies. He adds his own knowledge just enough so they know he’s not lying but doesn’t elaborate much. 

“I’m going to get another.” John says shaking his empty can and getting up. 

“Sit down, we’ve got someone for that.” Martin reaches over to pick up a bell from the coffee table. He’s going to call you like a maid, John fights the urge to slap some sense into him right then and there. He needs to see you, preferably in private. 

“I’ll get it, I need to take a piss anyway.” John says, excusing himself from the sofa. 

“Second door down the hall.” Martin says. John walks down the corridor peaking through the door to your bedroom on the way. He doesn’t see any pictures of family, only pictures of you and Martin, maybe from happier times. He goes into the bathroom, the place is immaculately clean and he sits down on the toilet thinking about what he knows. 

He knew the moment he saw you with the bruise on your cheek he was going to do something, he knew the moment he saw the fear in your eyes from just talking to him. He’s seen it before and he couldn’t just sit by and do nothing. The layout of the flat is similar to his, one bedroom one bathroom, the only difference is his kitchen is open plan whereas yours is closed. 

He could try sneaking into the bedroom and look for something to give him more information about your life but it would be too easy to get caught. His main concern is you, he needs to make sure you’re okay after the last time he saw you almost a week ago. Then he’ll think of a plan. He flushes the empty toilet and runs the tap for a few seconds before leaving and heading to the kitchen. 

When he walks in he sees you sitting at the small dining table with your head in a book. You look just as beautiful as he remembers. 

“Hey.” He says trying not to spook you. 

“Oh, John.” You jump and stand up putting the book down, you look worried like you’re expecting him to shout at you or something.

“I just came for another round.” He says trying to put you at ease but it just makes what's left of your colour drain from your face and you move over to the fridge. 

“Sorry. I should have been out with more. I was just-“ You stop and pull out another six pack handing it to him. He looks over at the book on the table. “Is there anything else you need?” 

“No, it’s okay. Thanks.” You force a smile and look up at him, he can see the sadness in your eyes, the fear. He wants to tell you it’s going to be okay, that he has a plan and he’s going to get you out of this. 

“Whats your book about?” he asks. You turn to look at it quickly. 

“Nothing, just a silly romance.” John watches your beautiful eyes as you inch back towards the kitchen table. 

“Well, if there is anything you need. Let me know.” You say sitting back down. John nods and forces himself to turn. “Who’s winning?” 

“City.” He says turning back. 

You breathe a sigh of relief. “Good.” John nods and leaves the kitchen.

“Where’d you go for that, mate? Africa?” Martin scoffs accepting a new can and cracking it open. I’m not your mate. John thinks to himself before sitting down on the other sofa. Martin chuckles.

“Got caught up in the kitchen.” John sighs, opening his second can. 

“Ah yeah, she loves to talk, ain’t I lucky.” Martin says as he rolls his eyes. 

“She’s a looker at least.” One of his friends chuckles. “You could have done worse.” 

“Sometimes I wonder if there’s anything up there though.” Martin chuckles. “Honestly, she just says the stupidest things.” 

“Isn’t that all women though?” Another friend asks and they all laugh, John smiles gritting his teeth. 

“What about you John? Is there a woman in your life?” Martin asks. John’s happy for the change of subject and shuffles forcing another smile before shaking his head. 

“Work keeps me busy, I never have time for all that.” 

“Well, maybe we’ll find someone for you.” Martin slaps his leg and it takes all of John’s strength to slap his hand off letting Martin turn to him, his eyes going wide. “Who was that chick you met at the bar?” 

“Emily?” One of them says. “Yeah she was good for a fuck if that’s what you’re looking for.” More laughs, John again bites his tongue. 

“Speaking of a good fuck.” Another says, John watches him raise an eyebrow at Martin. John’s not quite sure what’s going on but it seems to peak everyone's attention as they wait for Martin to answer. 

“Not tonight. Painters are in.” They all huff, seeming disappointed then turn back to the game. John’s stomach twists. Now he gets it, he doesn’t want to believe it though. That people would stoop down to such level. He drinks his beer again before he does something he might regret. Martin moves his hand off John’s leg and calls your name. 

John’s holding his breath as you make your way out the kitchen and everyone’s heads turn to you. You have two bowls in your hand. 

“Ah, perfect.” Your boyfriend says and you walk over to the coffee table to place them down. John should be watching you but he can’t help fixing his gaze on Martin and his guests whose eyes stare at you like you’re made of diamonds. You smile kindly at them and as you lean over the coffee table, a hand from one of them reaches up the back of your thigh and squeezes your arse. 

John watches trying to keep his expression neutral as you tense and stand up almost stumbling to get away from the man violating you while your boyfriend does nothing but smile keeping his angry eyes trained on you. John can read the warning in them. Don’t embarrass me.

John takes another sip of his beer to give him something to do. You turn to leave, John can see the redness on your face. You walk between the sofas and your boyfriend grabs your wrist. You instantly freeze bringing your other arm up over your chest. 

“Forgetting something?” He asks, his voice low. You force a smile, shaking your head before leaning down and pressing a kiss on his lips, your boyfriend smiles and even though the kiss is clearly supposed to be quick he forces his tongue into your mouth deepening it. 

Your back is conveniently turned to the other sofa and the other friends don’t even try to avert their gazes, their eyes falling on the curves of your arse. It makes John feel sick, the beer in his stomach sits heavy. He wants to leave, he can’t stand this. You break from the kiss and quickly make your way back to the kitchen. 

John turns his attention back to the TV. It’s almost half time, he could make an excuse during that and leave. No, he has to stick this through to the end he doesn’t need any of them getting suspicious, besides the longer he stays the more likely one of them is bound to slip up and give him the confirmation he needs. 

He’ll stay for you, because at the end of the day it’s not about his comfort, it’s about you and your rescue. 

___

You’re alone for the first time in over a year. Your boyfriend has left you alone for the first time in at least 14 months. At first you’re not even sure what to do with yourself. You spend your first evening alone watching a show you’ve always wanted to see but never had time. 

You even splashed out and bought yourself a bottle of wine. It almost feels like a perfect evening, a time for you to enjoy yourself, the wine helps mull you out but your head is preoccupied with John and your boyfriend. 

You love him. Even though he’s mean sometimes you’ve been with him for so long, you couldn’t imagine being with someone else. Your mind trails towards John though, and how kind he seems. You wonder if he’s in and what he’s doing. You wish you could get to know him but Martin would never allow that. Maybe you will though, by proximity, Martin does seem to like him and if he comes regularly for the football you’ll see him at least once a week. 

You don’t know how he would fit in with Martin’s friends though. You sigh looking at the clock and knowing he’ll be back in less than 14 hours. You wish he wouldn't come back, you regret the thought almost as soon as you have it, you do love him. 

Suddenly the wine is not cutting it and you drain your last glass before going into the kitchen. The only thing you can find is a half bottle of vodka, it's Martins but you’ll buy him a new one. You don’t care right now, you just don’t want to feel anything. Liquid courage burns through you and before you can regret it you take a long swig straight out the bottle. 

It’s horrible and you immediately regret it. You cough and splutter as it burns your tongue and throat, it hits you quickly though warming your body and dulling the thoughts in your head. It does little to dull the pain in your chest though, the thought of your boyfriend coming home soon brings so much dread it’s unbearable. You wander back into the living room taking another long swig if not just to clear your mind for a few seconds. 

It feels like fire down your throat as you swallow a whole mouthful of the putrid alcohol. This is his fault, that you have to do this to yourself. Maybe if you were drunk more often he’d be easier to be around. Maybe he wouldn’t hurt you, maybe when he did it wouldn’t feel as bad. The sex is the worst, always when he wants it no matter what. 

You’ve tried saying no, it never ends well. 

You need to do something, you can’t just sit on the sofa all night feeling sorry for yourself, you’re supposed to be enjoying yourself. You go into the bathroom and start to run a bath, you’re unsteady on your feet now. You leave the vodka in the bathroom and go into the living room to clear up your plate and the empty wine bottle you know you’re going to have to hide. 

You hate that, you hate that you have to hide things from him. You pick up the empty bottle rolling it in your hand. A sudden surge of anger over takes you and before you can stop yourself you throw it at the living room wall. It smashes against a picture shattering both the glass bottle and the glass protecting the picture as they both fall to the floor. 

Fuck. 

Fear grips you, you shouldn't have done that. He’ll be so mad, you rush over to the broken glass on the floor forgetting you have no shoes on and you almost step on it. You look at the mess as you feel tears come, he’s going to be so mad he might just kill you. How are you going to explain what happened?

“Fuck.” You swear under your breath. You just can’t do this right now, maybe you’ll feel better after a bath. Then you’ll be more level headed and you can clear this up. You sob kicking yourself for being so emotional and crying over this then head for the bathroom. 

The bath is almost full so you stop the tap and go into the cupboard for the bath salts. As you do you see his razor. He must have forgotten it. Your heart stops, you could do it. Right now, it would all be over. You don’t have to worry about cleaning up your mess or his anger. There would be nothing, just peace and silence. 

Your hand shakes as you take the blade in your hand. You stand up and look at yourself in the mirror, your face is red from the tears, the bruise around your eye is barely there, just a little discoloured yellow. The bruises around your neck have been an almost permanent feature recently. You pick up the vodka bottle and take another long swig. 

It burns but this time you don’t mind it. It helps clear your mind, it would be so easy then it would be over. You don’t pay attention to what's happening and climb into the bath with the razor still in your hand. You don’t even think really, you’re already unscrewing the proactive body to get to the blade inside. 

It’s so simple. You finish the last of the vodka letting the empty bottle roll away on the floor as you sink down beneath the warm water leaving only your head exposed. For once you feel at peace, your head is clear and the thought of not being here tomorrow is a relief. You look at the inside of your wrist with the blade in your other hand. 

You deserve this, this is all your fault. 

You take in a deep breath and drag the blade down your wrist. 

…

It feels like you’re floating, like your body is drifting off somewhere far away. Maybe it’s the water or maybe this is what death feels like. It feels strangely surreal. 

“Fuck.” A worried voice travels to your ears but you keep your eyes closed. Something warm touches you, pulls you. You open your eyes but everything is a blur, you see red then someone's arm passes in front of your face. They’re too late though. 

“Sorry.” You murmur.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” It’s John, you turn to look at him blinking to clear your vision. He grunts as he pulls you out of the bath like you weigh nothing. 

“What?” You barely manage to say, your voice doesn’t sound like your own and there is so much blood. John places you up against the side of the bath and starts to pull towels down. 

“It’s not your fault.” He says again, softer this time. Your heart is racing, pain travels down your arms and you groan trying to touch your blood soaked wrists. 

“No, don’t touch.” He sounds calm unlike your racing mind. Your arms throb as he uses the towels to dab them. You made a mess of the bathroom, you should have succeeded instead you’re a failure, you can’t even kill yourself right. 

“Where is he?” John asks, you know who he’s talking about.

“Blackpool.” You slur. “He’ll be back tomorrow.” 

“Okay, okay.” He says, sounding relieved as he looks over your wrists. “It doesn’t look too deep. Looks like you missed anything major.” He says, you look down at the wounds on your wrists. You should have done better, a sob leaves from low in your throat. He wraps your wrists in the towels then reaches up with one hand to cup the side of your face. 

His thumb traces under your bruised eye. You look away as more tears spill out over your eyelids. 

“I’ll be right back.” He says and stands up, you’re not sure what to say to him. He doesn’t have to help you. You unwrap one of your wrists, it stings and you can smell the blood in the air, it’s harsh and unexpectedly makes your mouth water as watch fresh drops pool out the wound. 

You should have cut deeper. 

John comes back making you jump and pull your legs closer to your chest. You’re naked, you don’t remember taking your clothes off. You feel exposed and use your legs to cover your chest. John reaches for another towel and rests it over your knees. You pull it off and over your chest as he bends down in front of you. You see him open a small brown pouch and he pulls out a sealed bandage. 

“Can I see?” He asks, reaching out for your towel wrapped arm, but he doesn’t touch you. You’re not used to people asking for your permission, you don’t know what to say. You’re not sure if you want John —who is basically still a stranger — to touch you so intimately. 

“I’m not going to hurt you.” He says in a low voice. You look up and see the sincerity in his eyes. You swallow and reach out offering him your covered arms, he nods and gently cups your wrist unwrapping the towels. You watch as he inspects the wounds again, turning your arm before he starts to wrap it with the bandages he bought. 

“I’m sorry.” You say. You feel stupid, you should have cut deeper. 

“Nothing to be sorry about.” He says in a calm voice, it puts you at ease and you sniffle blinking more tears. He works in silence wrapping your arm until the roll is finished then he reaches back in the bag for some tape. He rips a section off with his teeth then uses it to secure the bandage. 

“Did you do anything else?” He asks eventually. You shake your head, maybe you should have. Maybe then you wouldn’t be sitting here with your neighbour, it would be over and you would have peace. Now you have no idea what's going to happen. You offer him your other arm and he starts to do the same. 

“How did you get in?” You ask, you could have sworn you locked the door. You meet his eyes and see a deep compassion in them. They’re dark and blue and they remind you of the ocean. You could lose yourself in them, one of his hands comes up and he brushes a strand of your wet hair off your forehead. 

“I have a key.” He says but doesn’t elaborate. “I heard a crash, when you didn’t answer the door I assumed the worst.” 

“If he was here.” You choke on the words. If he was here he would have killed you himself just for making a mess.

“He’s not here.” John says. You swallow hard but the lump in your throat doesn’t move. He will be though, tomorrow he’ll be back and if he finds out what you did who knows what he will do. Suddenly the guilt and sadness is replaced with fear, your heart rate picks up and your breathing becomes shallow. John squeezes your wrist gently as he finishes taping it up. 

“Hey, hey. Look at me.” He says in a calming tone, you do. You look over his face as he grabs your wrist in his other hand. “He’s not here. He can’t hurt you. Not now, not ever.” 

You don’t believe him. But what is he going to do? More tears come, you let out a sob trying not to completely break down in front of him. You try to hold on to the last semblance of self respect you have but it doesn’t matter and you drop your head and sob into your knees. 

You expect him to leave, run away and never look back. You’re not his problem. Instead he does the opposite. He shuffles closer to you then wraps his arms around you and pulls you against his chest. 

You don’t care that he’s a stranger. You sob and cry as he rubs your arm and the top of your head. He doesn’t seem to care about the state he found you in, he just holds you gently, touching you and shushing you but it’s not patronising. It’s comforting, he lets you get it all out. You scream at one point, your nose is running as much as your eyes but he doesn’t move and he doesn’t leave. 

“I’m sorry.” You manage to sniffle when the worst is over and you’re left with a blocked nose and a throbbing head. 

“Nothing to be sorry about.” He repeats as his hand strokes your arm. He lets out a sigh letting you lean against him for a little longer before he speaks again. “How about this? Let me find you something to wear then we can talk?” 

“Okay.” You manage to say and he basically has to pry you out his arms. You sit there alone as he leaves to go to the bedroom. You can hear him opening drawers and the wardrobe before he’s back with fresh pyjamas and underwear in his hands. As he walks into the room he kicks an empty bottle of vodka out the way. 

You feel embarrassment heat your face not able to make eye contact with him. He places the clothes on the toilet but hesitates before he leaves. 

“I’ll be waiting outside.” He says, you force yourself to look up at him and he picks the empty bottle up before leaving the room. You sit there stunned looking around at the blooded floor and the towels you’ll have to wash. Maybe you could have gotten away with pretending its period blood but not now there is way too much. 

The bath gurgles and you stand up and turn to see the last of the blooded water drain away. You dry yourself as quickly as you can; each move pulls on the wounds you’ve just made. Maybe when you’re changed John will take you to the hospital. You don’t want to do that, they'll section you then you’ll have no control, but you’ll be away from your boyfriend, you won’t have to see him if you don’t want to. 

You pull the clothes on then leave the room, as he said John is waiting for you. You feel embarrassed, and stupid. If it wasn’t for you smashing the wine bottle he would never have found you. He said the wounds didn’t look that deep and blood is not seeping through the bandages. What would have happened? Would you still have bled out?

“Do you drink tea?” John asks, you look up at him and nod, biting back the tears threatening to come. You feel sober now, almost like you didn’t drink a bottle of wine and half a bottle of vodka. 

“I can make some.” You reply automatically, his hand reaches out to rub the top of your arm. 

“Sit down, I’ll make it.” He says gently squeezing your arm and moving you towards the living room. You go over to sit on the sofa pulling one of the throws around you while you listen to John in the kitchen. 

A few minutes later he places down a cup of tea and you pull the blanket around you tighter. He sits down next to you but keeps a little space between you. You don’t touch the tea, just watch the steam swirl in the air. You can’t believe you’ve done this, all of a sudden it hits you and you shiver realising what you’ve done. 

“Do you want to talk?” John asks after a few more moments of silence. You have no idea what to say, where do you even start. 

“I don’t know.” You reply quietly. John’s arm wraps around your back and he shuffles closer to you and before you can stop yourself and lean your head against him. You can hear his heart beating steadily in his chest, you can hear his lungs filling with air. He’s alive, you’re alive but you’re not sure if you’re happy about that or not. 

If your boyfriend knew what you did, about the mess you made he’d kill you himself. You dread to think what would have happened if he was the one who found you in the bath. This is why he doesn’t let you drink, because you make stupid decisions like this.

“You don’t have to stay.” You say turning your attention back to the tea’s steam. 

“I think it’s best if you’re not alone now.” John says, you nod. You want him to stay, it hurts so much. You can’t remember you had someone like this in your life, someone you can lean on for support. It makes your heart ache.

“When he gets back.” You can’t finish the sentence, he’ll kill John then he’ll kill you. John’s hand comes up to your face and you sit up turning to look at him as he cups your cheek. 

“I’ll deal with him. You’ll never need to worry about him again.” He says, your breath catches in your throat, you can hear the sincerity in his words. The thought of never having to see him again is suddenly the best feeling in the world. You feel a flood of emotions but mainly relief, your shoulders sag and you drop your head letting the tears fall. John’s hand travels down to your neck, his thumb traces your jaw. 

“I-“ You stammer over your words. “I never want to see him again.” 

It feels like a weight has been lifted off you and you sob. You’ve never felt so relieved in your life. Here is someone who is telling you you never have to see him again. Someone who even though you’re not close with is ready to help you. 

“And you never have to see him again.” He says gently, you look up at him and he smiles slightly, tipping his head to the side. “I will be here, he’s never going to hurt you again.” 

The tears come and before you can stop yourself you throw your arms around him, it hurts but you don’t care.

“Thank you.” It’s all you manage to say, it’s all you need to say. 

…

The hours feel like they’re going all too fast. John doesn’t leave your side, he stays with you on the sofa keeping you company. You don’t talk much but he rubs your arms or legs and fills the silence when you want him to. You stay away from subjects about your boyfriend but it’s hard. You’re finally realising how controlling he is of you. 

You’ve never been allowed to do anything other than work and take care of the house. Thinking about it you’ve always been so busy, between work and cooking and cleaning you have very little time for yourself. What time you didn’t have was to be dedicated to him, he always told you how hard he was working to keep you afloat. 

He controlled the finances, what you ate, who you spoke to. When and where you could go, you never put much thought into it because you were in love and you thought this was just what people did for those they love. Apparently you were wrong. You have been so naive and stupid. 

John reassures you though, he lets you talk but is quick to comfort you when guilt slips into your voice and tears well in your eyes. You don’t even realise you’ve been up all night until the sun peaks through the living room window. He talks about his job and his team to keep your mind busy, when it turns eight it feels like your heart is about to combust with nerves. 

You can’t keep still, fidgeting and your breathing becomes rapid and unsteady. John just holds you, he doesn’t judge, he just comforts you in a way you never thought you were worthy of. 

When the door clicks open you jump up. John gets to his feet. This is it. 

“John?” Your boyfriend asks, he looks past John then at you wrapped in a blanket on the sofa. Tears immediately come and you almost want to wish John would leave. You don’t want him to get hurt. 

“Martin.” John replies, taking a step around the sofa and placing himself between you and the man who is currently shooting daggers at you. He drops his bag to the floor and it makes you stiffen.

“What the hell is going on?” You can tell he’s already losing his cool, the facade he spends so much effort on keeping up is slipping quicker than you expected.

“Why don’t we talk outside?” John offers. 

“No fucking way. You’re going to tell me what you’re doing in my fucking flat with my woman.” Martin snaps. You grip your wrist tight and dig your nails into the covered wounds. It burns and more tears spill over your eyes. 

You have to do something, you can’t let John get in trouble for this then you’ll never be able to see him again. Then you’ll be stuck regretting that you failed each and every day. You want to get up and stop this but your body betrays you and you go stiff, not able to move as your boyfriend's eyes still drill into you. 

You reach out for John but he’s too far away, no one is saying anything and all you can hear is the pounding of your heart in your ears making your arms sting with each throb. 

“I don’t have to explain anything to you.” John says taking another step to your boyfriend. Martin’s eyes flick to John before he’s hidden from your view. 

“I think you do.” He scoffs. 

“It’s time for you to leave.” John says, lowering his tone. It makes you shiver, there is no room for ignoring the order. 

“Is this what you’ve been doing? Shacking up with the neighbour?” Martin scoffs again trying to look around John but he doesn’t let him. You can’t really tell what's going on but your boyfriend is definitely getting up in John’s face. 

“Put your hands on me and you’ll regret it.” John says, now that’s a threat. One your boyfriend ignores and he pushes John. What happens next is so quick you almost miss it. John dodges a swing then lunges at Martin and presses him against the wall twisting one arm behind his back. Almost like you’ve seen police officers do. 

“Fuck you! Get the fuck off me!” Martin screams but John is stronger, you watch as he keeps him pinned against the wall reaching into Martin’s pocket and pulling out his set of keys all without breaking a sweat. John throws them to the side before pressing Martin harder to the wall, his mouth level with his ear. 

“This doesn’t need to get messy. I just wanted to talk.” John’s taller too, towering over your boyfriend, or should it be ex-boyfriend, there is no way you’re going back to him. Watching him being manhandled by John fills you with a strange sense of confidence, something you haven’t felt in years.

“You’re going to leave. Take that bag and walk out of this flat before I throw you out.”

“Fuck you! I live here.” Martin snaps trying to struggle under John’s grip. 

“Not anymore.” John says simply. Martin’s eyes flick to you and he laughs. 

“So this is it. You’re fucking someone else?” Your ex-boyfriend grunts. You can’t help shaking your head, you shouldn’t care what he thinks, not anymore. “I always knew you were a cheating whore!” John twists his arm tighter causing him to cry out. 

“Did your mother never teach you how to respect women?” John spits at him. 

“Did you never learn how to do a proper hold?” To your surprise Martin shoves John off him, it seems to take John by surprise too and you gasp as Martin takes a swing at him. You close your eyes not wanting to watch, you hear skin hitting skin and open your eyes again to see Martin stumbling back, blood spilling out his nose. 

“Idiot.” John snaps, grabbing your ex by his collar and pulling him over to the front door. Your heart is racing so fast it feels like it’s about to jump out your chest. John throws Martin out into the hall then picks up his bag before throwing it out after him. 

“If I ever see you again it’s not me you’re going to have to worry about.” John says, you’re not sure what that means but before your ex can reply John slams the door closed locking it behind him. You expect your ex to bang on the door and demand to be let in which John seems to also be waiting for as he hangs around the door for a few moments before walking back over to you. 

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. “I need to make a few calls.” 

“Please, I don’t want the police to be involved.” You say, you’re not sure why though you have every right to go to them. The bruises on your face and neck are enough proof for a restraining order at least. 

“Okay, okay. We can talk about that later.” He says as he comes it sits down next to you and rests his hand on top of yours. 

“No police, no hospital. Please.” You beg him. He nods but you can tell it’s somewhat reluctantly. 

“Okay. I won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.” He says unlocking his phone. You feel like asking who he’s calling is rude but you want to know, you hate secrets. 

“Who are you calling?” You ask as he puts the phone up to his ear, he turns to you and smiles. It helps put you at ease. 

“Just a friend, someone who can help.” He says. 

“With what?” You ask, but he doesn’t get a chance to respond as the call connects and he stands up. 

“Simon. I need a favour.” John walks around the sofa and over to the kitchen standing in the doorway so he can still see you but the distance muffles his voice. “No nothing like that.” He smiles at you again, you trust him. 

“Yeah, bring him too. Actually pick Gaz up on the way as well. Yeah I’ll send the address. No, no just the usual.” You’re not sure what’s happening but you have a feeling you might be introduced to a few people by the sound of it. 

“Copy, see you in a few.” John says before hanging up and coming back over to you. He stands on the other side of the sofa and you turn to look up at him. His hand comes down to stroke your cheek again. 

“Whats going to happen?” You ask trying to swallow the apprehension. He smiles, his hand gently cups your face. 

“Whatever you need, we’re going to help you. Like I said, you never have to see him again. He’s gone and so help me God I’ll make sure it stays that way. I don’t ever want to see you hurt again.” You see how moisture builds up in his eyes and you smile at him reaching up to rest your hand on his. 

“I don’t deserve any of this.” You say, he immediately bends down behind the sofa so his face is level with yours. 

“What you deserve is to be free, you deserve not to be treated like you’re less than human. And you deserve help, so no matter what, whatever you need I’m going to help. Starting by making you some breakfast, then maybe you could take a nap. It’ll be a while before they get here.” 

“Who are they?” You ask as he continues to stroke your cheek. 

“My friends, you can trust them, they’re good people I promise.” You nod, you believe him. 

“Just don’t leave, please.” You reach out, running your fingers through his beard cupping his face. 

He smiles, his eyes shine. “Never. Don’t worry, you’re not going to be alone.”

“Thank you.” You breathe, closing your eyes and resting your head against his hand. The exhaustion of the day is finally pulling on you. You’re safe, Martin is gone. Nothing bad is going to happen. You let yourself believe it for the first time. Nothing bad is going to happen. 

None of this is your fault and you don’t deserve any of this. No matter what, whether you’re ready for it or not you just know deep down in your heart everything is going to change, and you couldn’t be more relieved.

___

[moody-alcoholic]

You write so incredibly well! I don't have a ton of time between school and my job (fucckkkk my sleep schedule, I'm signed up for the summer semester too). But your shorter pieces I've have time to read are so amazing! You are seriously talented! Maybe one day I'll have the time to sit down and read some of the longer series and give them the attention it deserves.

Thank you and I'm so glad you're enjoying everything! 🥰

Don't worry my stories are not going anywhere and I'm sure whenever you find time it will be worth it!

[lover-girlxx]

movie game

show ten of your fav movies (without showing the title) and tag ten people!!

thanks @wolfiee10 for the tag!!

no pressure tags: @nosugarallspice @snoopyharrington @thedamnqueenofhell @fromsil @keerysaftercare @keer-y @thedriftingmind @hellfirexhoe @frankenkyle19 @riddlersoupwrites

sorry if you’ve already done it!!

[fromsil]

hihihi thank you for the tag my sweet darling!⭐️ i love talking about movies so this was fun hihi

no pressure tag: @arabellasfvv @mortem-writes @avgdestitute @theorist-fox @lialucis

[avgdestitute]

omg ty sil!!!

no pressure tags: @pinksplace @digitalhoe @berd-nerd @pikachu032205 @evilbubu @popjunkie42 @softaestluv @sylvesterelle

[softaestluv]

just a girl and her silly movies

thank you addy!!!

no pressure tags I don’t even have 10 mutuals LOL: @theorist-fox @midoriiakina @little-mini-me-world @beebymoonlight @lumilily @finemadeline

[theorist-fox]

OMG Thank you for the tag friends! This is really fun since I watch a lot of movie!!

No pressure tags my loves: @aestas---estas, @staytrueblue, @laughroditee, @fictitioussaturday, @the-grimm-black, @alchemyfreak321, @moody-alcoholic, @loverwrites, @jetplanebaby, and YOU! If you're reading this and want to play, tag me as well so I can see your favourite movies!

[moody-alcoholic]

Well I don't normaly do these but I do love to talk about myself. And I really need to get better and reblogging things

Not tagging anyone because I'm boring and everyone I would tag has been tagged already. Can you tell i'm a massive Wes Anderson fan...

[moody-alcoholic]

Where Blood Meets Flame

Chapter 39 - The Consequence of War

Summary: Fourth Wing x COD, alternate universe, poly 141 x reader. WC: 12.5k CW: +18 content MDNI. Sex, smut, PiV sex, double penetration, threesome MMF,  canon typical violence, fighting, blood, death, use of weapons, panic attack, mentions of PTSD,

Previous parts - Masterlist - next AO3

War brings out the worst in people, and the best.  - Proverbs of Dunne, The Goddess of Strength and War

___

You’re not sure how long it’s been or where you are when you finally come to, hearing someone calling your name in your head. 

“John?” You ask, your body feels stiff, your heart is thumping in your chest. You feel sweat on your body and tears running down your face. 

“Yes, love. Where are you? Are you okay?” John’s panicked voice comes back. You finally take a look at your surroundings, the room you’re in is small and quiet, maybe it used to be an office but it seems to be filled with temporary shelves and medical supplies. You run your hand over a box of dressings and the familiar scent of cotton and strong alcohol fills your nose. 

“I’m-” You pause, you don’t know how you feel. Your body feels heavy and your head is ringing. You close your eyes for a second then place your feet on the surgery room floor in your mind. Your doors are boarded shut and you imagine them falling open. 

“HEALER!” Ayze’s roar fills your mind. You feel panic seep deep into your bones and your breathing turns to pants. You press your hand on your chest. 

“I’m okay, I’m okay.” You say in your mind. You run your hands over the bandages letting the familiar feel ground you before you step out the room. You’re back near the ward, you look around and see John walk out of it. As soon as he sees you, relief falls on his face and he comes over to you. 

“I’ve found her.” He says, you hear him sigh with relief. “What happened?”

“I don’t know. I just.” You shake your head as his hands rub your arms. “I just needed some space.” You’re still trying to calm your racing heart when Johnny comes around the corner. John nods and his arm slips around your waist, steadying you. 

“What happened?” You ask Ayze. 

“I do not know. You severed your connection to me.” She explains, you take in a sharp breath. That's not possible, she grumbles in agreement. 

“John, why don’t you take her back to the dorms. Or maybe something to eat?” John asks, you look up at him and nod. You’ll agree to anything but you’re not really hungry. John leaves you and Johnny leads you to the dining hall anyway. 

“Hungry?” He asks but he doesn’t even wait for a response instead picking up two plates and getting them piled high with food. You sit with him moving potatoes around your plate with a fork. Johnny scoffs his down like it’s his last meal. 

“How are you feeling?” He asks eventually and you still don’t know how to respond. 

“Numb.” You reply. You miss Liz, you wish she was here she would know exactly what's wrong. And you don’t even have Erik to fill that void. “Maybe I'm just tired.”

Johnny hums, pressing his lips together, his eyes bore into you as he looks around your face. “What?” You ask him, he shakes his head almost like he was deep in thought and trying to shake it off. 

“It’s just. You looked so scared when you ran out of the gym.” He says lowering his head and his voice. 

“Scared?” You say, you don’t feel scared. He reaches out and picks up your free hand. 

“I don’t want you ever to be scared of us. We’ll always protect you.” He says. 

“I know, I can look after myself too, you know.” He smiles. 

“I know. But I love you, we all love you. With what happened with Erik.” He stops and you turn your hand in his then squeeze it. 

“It’s not your fault.” You remind him. He nods.

“Yeah, but it shouldn’t have happened in the first place.” You can hear the guilt in his voice, he has nothing to feel guilt about. 

“You got me back. I’m safe, Johnny.” You force a smile at him and he nods. 

“I know, love. I know.” 

He encourages you to eat something off your plate before he asks you want to do for the day but you’re not sure. He doesn’t push you to talk about what happened which you appreciate, maybe you’re broken like Erik was. Maybe John will have to put you on leave and you won’t be able to do your job, the thought makes you shiver. 

You spend the day in the wardstone room going over the new books Fen has flown in from Basgiath as well as some from The Capital’s library. There are some censored parts but you and Johnny focus on imbuing the wardstone as much as you can while you read.

When the sun is starting to set you look up out the skylight wondering what it could have been for other than the obvious aesthetic value. The wardstone chamber at Basgiath had one too, there has to be something. Maybe your father is right and it has something to do with the moon. Your mind wanders back to the story of the white and black dragon, the book could have been destroyed when Cliffsbane fell but secretly you hope it wasn't. 

You look over at Johnny who takes his hand off the wardstone and smiles. You smile back then look down at the book you’re reading about runestones. You’re going to need more practice before you’re ready to imbue stones on the same level as Johnny. 

There has to be something, something about the rune your father hid in his work. The ability to create a rune that holds life, it sounds almost impossible but you witnessed it. You pressed on Johnny’s chest to keep him alive while the syphon transferred the power back to him. You look up at Johnny again, his tongue stuck out his mouth while he looks over one of your fathers letters. 

If the price of fixing the wardstone is life, then you’ll make sure it’s not theirs. 

___

The next morning you’re supposed to be on patrol and you meet John and Simon outside in the courtyard just as your dragons land. John smiles at you as you walk over to him, his hands gripping his vest as he rocks on his feet. As you stop to greet him the words die in your mouth. 

You feel a pulse of magic throb through you. It almost knocks you off your feet. You've never felt anything like it before. Even Simon reacts by dropping his arms and clenching his fists. You feel a warmth travel down your bond and feel elation, you smile and so does John.

“Whats that?” You ask, turning to look at Ayze. A grumble rises in her throat. 

“A dragon has been born.” She says simply. 

“The egg.” You smile looking up at Oarsirias. She launches causing Simon to turn, he tuts and crosses his arms again. Tahpe and John stare at each other before he launches too. 

“We need to take the feathertail back to The Vale.” John says. A feathertail, you have no idea when the last dragon was born, you can’t remember you’ve felt the pulse of magic this strong. 

“When?” You ask, smiling at Ayze who is the only dragon left. 

John is still smiling too. “Now, we’re leaving now.” 

…

Half an hour later every dragon other than Oarsirias is waiting in the courtyard. 

“I’ve never seen a feathertail before.” Johnny says, almost bouncing on his feet. 

“What makes you think we’ll be able to see them?” Kyle asks, adjusting his flight goggles. 

“I think we will.” Johnny says his enthusiasm not wavering. You all look up when you hear the familiar flap of dragon wings above you and watch as Oarsitias flies over the mansion and comes to land in the courtyard. She’s flying slower and she’s gentle as all her legs touch the ground but one. 

You’re not sure what you were expecting when the feathertail crawls out from between Oarsirias’ toes. They’re tiny, the same size as a dog, you can’t believe they grow so large. You want nothing more than to touch it, reach out and scratch the tiny scales on its nose but you can already feel how uncomfortable being this close is making Oarsirias.

“They’re beautiful.” You say stepping back instead as the feathertail wobbles falling against Oarsirias’ toe. It’s barely a few hours old, golden and beautiful. It’s the most innocent thing you have ever seen. 

“She.” Oarsirias says. 

“We need to take her back to The Vale, and The Empyrium will need to know the Dark Ones are harboring dragon eggs.” Tahpe says. Nausea rises in you, venin have dragon eggs. 

“What is the Empyrium going to think?” You mutter, feeling dread rise in you. John looks over at you and you see an equally concerned look on his face. The little feathertail crawls back into Oarsirias’ hand and claws close around it keeping it secure in her grip. 

John sighs. “I guess there is no time like the present to find out.”                                                                                                                         __

It feels weird coming to land in the flight field. It’s been so long since you were here. As Thera lands next to you, you see people muttering and pointing at her. You sigh and slide down Ayze’s side and go over to her scratching above her beak. 

“I hope here is comfortable enough for you to rest.” You ask her looking around at the almost deserted flight field. 

“It’s fine! Although I was looking forward to seeing this mysterious Vale you’re always talking about.” She says, chirping.

“Well me too but it’s dragons only I’m afraid.” You watch as the corners of her mouth pull upwards and she steps back from you.

“I will hunt then rest.” She says then takes off into the air. You look over at Ayze who watches her fly away. 

“Make sure no one hurts her.” You say to Azye down your private bond. 

“She is here as my guest. No harm will come to her.” She promises then turns and walks towards the end of the flight field. 

…

The morning of the Threshing there’s a buzz around the college. It feels strange to have a Threshing at the end of June instead of the beginning of October but with the amount of dragons suddenly willing to bond it means there’s going to be two Threshings this year. 

“Are you going to go watch?” Johnny asks as you lean against the wall under the overhang listening to the morning formation. 

“I can’t, I’ll be on the flight field helping injured riders as they come in.” You say. 

“Ah, it’s always more fun in the valley.” Johnny says, throwing his arm over your shoulder. You roll your eyes remembering the last time you were in there Markus died. You think back to the riders survival course, it feels like a lifetime ago, a war ago. 12 medics made it through to the threshing, you remember the terrified cadet you helped on the Parapet, you wonder if she made it through, you can’t see from here. 

“May we condemn their souls to Malek.” Professor Panchek says. 

“Almost two-hundred dragons are willing to bond this Threshing.” Kyle says. You look up at the darkening sky, maybe it will rain, you can almost feel the moisture in the warm June air. 

“There are not even enough Cadets for all the dragons willing to bond.” Johnny says, sounding enthusiastic about the whole thing. You gasp, you’ve never heard of anything like this, two hundred dragons is almost unheard of. 

“What’s going to happen?” You ask. 

“Maybe the dragons will fight over Cadets. At least that will make things more interesting.” Johnny says, clapping his hands. Some of the Cadets from First Wing look over at you all. 

“Maybe all the Cadets will survive this year?” Kyle asks. 

“If none of them fall off dragons before they land in the flight field.” You say grimly. 

“Not every human is born to ride.” Ayze says, you feel comfort hearing her voice. 

“I was born to be a healer.” You say. 

“You were born for many things, kind one. Riding on my back is one of them.” You smile at her words. 

“How exactly does this Threshing work?” Thera asks. You smile and do your best to explain it through your own experience. 

“It sounds…harsh.” She replies sadly. 

“Riders have to survive the harshest of conditions. This makes them stronger.” Ayze says.

“You should come to the flight field and watch the dragons come in.” You say and feel her warmth down the bond.

“Okay.” She replies and you feel her excitement. 

“Do we know anything from the Empyrean?” You ask in your head. 

“No idea but Tahpe and Oarsirias haven’t left The Vale since we landed yesterday.” Johnny replies. It’s been the same with Ayze and her bond is closed, this is the first time you’ve heard her since landing in the flight field, you’re glad you have Thera to fill the hole. 

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Kyle asks. 

Johnny shrugs. “I don’t know. Laundra said they’ve gathered all the elders to discuss it.” 

“They have to do something about it right?” You say. 

“They have to. They’re going to want those eggs back.” Kyle says.

“How long do you think they’ve been in the mountains?” You ask, thinking back to how many you saw with Johnny. “Who knows dragon eggs can stay dormant for years.” Johnny says. “We don’t know much about how dragons breed or what happens to their young.” You sigh as the formation starts to break and you see John and Simon on the dais. Cadets look at you all leaning against the wall, you lean your head back. Whatever the Empyrean decide you hope it’s soon, you can see how nervous John and Simon are not hearing from their dragons. 

…

Johnny walks you up to the flight field with the other second and third years as everyone excitedly mulls around or goes over to sit on the bleachers that have been set up for the occasion. You can’t see John or Simon and Kyle has already gone down to the valley to watch the first years. You see Thera being fussed around by a few cadets that are brave enough to go near her. Her eyes light up as she sees you. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come down with us?” Johnny asks one more time as you make it over to the small field hospital. “There'll be plenty of injured people.”

“Yeah, I think I'll see enough injuries up here. No need to watch cadets die too.” You sigh, he pats you on the back. 

“Okay well I’m going to meet Gaz. You have fun!” You roll your eyes at him but he’s already turned to leave down the steps of the flight field. 

“Oh my Gods.” You turn when you hear the familiar voice and see Amy coming towards you. She wraps her arms around you without dropping the supplies in her hands. 

“Amy.” You smile, squeezing her back. It makes you miss Liz, and Erik. Your circle of friends seems to be getting smaller and smaller. 

“I heard what happened.” She says breaking from the hug but still holding your arms. “You were tortured.” She looks over you and your thick bandaged arms. 

“I’m okay.” You say wanting to hug her again. You see moisture rise in her eyes. Thera chirps behind you and Amy looks behind you and gasps. You turn and Thera tips her head to the side slightly. 

“Amy, this is Thera, my gryphon.” You say smiling and moving over to her. 

“She’s beautiful.” Amy says, reaching out to touch her. Thera’s eyes widen the closer she gets but lets Amy press her hand into her thick feathers. “Wow, she’s amazing. Even when we were attacked I hardly ever saw the gryphons.” 

“They’re gentle beings I have come to learn.” You smile. 

“I can imagine.” Amy says. 

It’s not long before the first few dragons start to make it back to the flight field. The first rides in on a green clubtail, then an orange swordtail, after a few you stop keeping track letting yourself catch up with Amy and all the gossip from the wards. Her girlfriend has been moved to a different outpost not on the border much to her delight. 

A couple of hours later you see John and Simon make it to the flight field with General Sorrengail in tow. 

“I heard you bought us a feathertail back from Aretia.” You overhear her say as they pass you. Amy gasps but keeps her composure until Sorrengail has moved out of earshot. She grabs your arm pulling you over to the other table.

“You bought a feathertail?” She whispers. 

“Yeah. But people are not supposed to know really. Dragons are pretty secretive about their young.” You explain she nods but you can see she has a million questions, questions you won’t even be able to answer.  

“Did you get to see it?” She asks enthusiastically. You can’t help smiling and nod. She beams back at you and looks over at the entrance to The Vale. No human has ever stepped foot up the ridged mountain face to make it into The Vale, the dragons are furiously protective of it. Suddenly there’s a roar followed by a scream and you turn just in time to see a cadet falling to the valley below, their dragon choosing not to catch them. 

That's the first death, or at least the first one you’ve seen. You just hope it wasn’t one of the medics. Another hour later the medic you helped on the Parapet flies in on the back of a green daggertail. You smile at her as you see how her confidence has grown over the last few months. Another hour passes and you’re patching up someone who fell and cut their knee when another medic arrives. 

You smile and silently thank Malek that two of them have survived, so far. 

…

It’s early afternoon when John brings General Sorrengail over to see you. She looks stern as you remember, her chocolate hair cut short and stilled back out her face like most riders. She’s the only person wearing her dress uniform. “Sergeant” She addresses you, you almost drop the bandage in your hand as you stiffen up and you look up at John who smiles at you and nods. 

“General Sorrengail.” You reply. “It’s an honor to be back at Basgiath and helping with The Threshing.” She nods and you think you see a hint of a smile on her face. “I heard you were wounded in action.” She says looking at your still bandaged arms. 

“Yes, I was taken captive by-” You pause not sure what to say, you look back up at John for support. 

“I read the reports.” She says thankfully moving the conversation along. You nod. “Betrayed by one of the other medics I understand.” 

“Private Rowan.” John clarifies for her, she presses her lips together as she looks over you. 

“And they didn’t kill you?” It feels like a stab to the heart as she says it. 

“They wanted intel.” You reply. She hums and her eyes meet yours. You fight not to look away. The seconds feel like they’re lasting minutes as she stares at you studying something deep in your eyes you can’t see. Her signet is storm wielding, and she gives you a look that makes you think she’s about to strike you down with lightning. 

“I heard they’re giving you a medal for bravery.” She says finally. You swallow feeling an immovable lump in your throat and look up at John who crosses his arms. “It was going to be a surprise.” He says, sounding annoyed, or maybe he’s bored. 

“Well. We wouldn’t want our riders to think we don’t care about their trials and tribulations, do we now, Major?” She turns to look at him over her shoulder and he stiffens up before looking back to you. “Especialy ones who have suffered greatly.” 

“Thank you.” You say without really thinking. You see a ghost of a smile on her lips before she nods and turns away with John following. When it finally feels like you can breathe again you turn feeling heat rush to your face. You don’t want a medal, you didn’t feel brave when you were kidnapped and held hostage. You didn’t feel brave, you felt vulnerable and scared but there’s no medal for that. 

“Are you okay?” Amy asks. You turn to her, smile and nod. 

“Never been better.” 

___

Later that evening after you’ve helped pack up the field medic station you decide to head to the dorm you’ve all been assigned. When you make it into the room you see John standing by the window, he runs his hand through his hair and turns when he hears you. 

He looks disheveled, you thought he would be busy not in the dorm room. His face is flushed and there is a pained look on his face, you frown and go over to him. 

“John, are you feeling okay?” You ask him, pressing the back of your hand against his head. 

“Tahpe and Oarsirias.” He says simply. A second later Simon walks into the room and pulls his mask off over his head running his gloved fingers through his hair. He looks at John and you can see the flush in his cheeks.   

“John.” He says, he sounds breathless like he’s just been for a run, there is sweat sticking to his blonde curls. You should leave them, Oarsirias and Tahpe are off fucking somwhere and John and Simon need a release too. You smile at them then turn to leave but John grabs your wrist. 

“Stay.” He says. You look back at Simon who nods. 

“Okay.” You say and pull your medical bag off dropping it to the floor. John’s hands wrap around your waist and travel up your back looking for the clasps on your protective corset. Simon has moved over to you as well and his mouth finds the soft skin of your neck. You lean into him as your corset is dropped and John’s hands ride up your top. 

You feel heat deep in your bones but your connection with Oarsirias is not as strong as Ayze. You can shield yourself from it quite easily. John and Simon though will be struggling though. 

“What do you need?” You ask breathing Simon in as he sucks on your neck. 

“You, everything.” He replies in a low voice that sends a shiver down your spine as John’s hands find your breasts. Simon’s mouth only leaves your neck so John can pull the top off over your head. You can feel the bond between you and Oarsirias diminished, you can feel the slightest amount of heat – no – lust which makes your mouth water and your body feel like it’s on fire. 

“Touch me.” You ask them as you spread your legs and John’s hands fumble with your belt letting your pants fall to the ground. 

“Whatever you need.” He says almost teasing as you all make your way over to the bed. You feel Simon taking his clothes off and John leaves you to go over to lock the door as you kick your boots off and step out your pants. 

“Think you could take both of us?” Simon asks. You nod, you don’t care if you’ve never done it before you give into Oarsirias’ heat rushing through you, you’ll do anything for them. John comes over and his hands cup your face before he kisses you again. Simon sits down on the bed and you hear him opening something as you break from the needy kiss. 

His hands travel down your body running over your nipples while Simon grabs your hips gently pulling you back to stand between his legs. He hums against your back as you watch John’s hand land on his cock, your mouth fills with saliva as his other hand presses through your folds finding your clit.  

“John.” You moan his name and Simon’s fingers dig into the soft skin of your hips. John chuckles and moves his fingers down to your entrance. 

“So wet already.” He says, you want to tell him it’s from all his kisses but you just let him touch you, his fingers circle your entrance as he moves closer pressing his fingers inside you slightly and collecting some of your slick. 

His fingers are wet and glistening as he presses them on the tip of his cock and down his length. Your eyes go wide and you lean back against Simon, sitting on his knees as he keeps you steady with his massive arms. The head of John’s cock teases your entrance, he presses the head inside and you moan tipping your head. It’s not enough, you want more, you need more. 

John chuckles as he inches into your pussy and Simon presses the head of his cock against your arse. Suddenly you’re apprehensive but they seem to know what they’re doing so you let them move you until you’re cradled securely between them.  

“You ready.” Simon asks before pressing another kiss against your neck. 

“Please.” You say. 

“Good girl.” Simon hums and his fingers are replaced by the wet head of his cock. You suck in a breath as he presses into you, you feel almost too full. You want to grind your hips but Simon’s strong hands keep you locked in place. “Nice and easy.” His voice is hot against your ear. Everything about this is ridiculously hot. You look at John who’s eyes are soft and glazed over. 

He presses into you even deeper then pulls out reaching down to press little circles on your clit. You moan for them both and lean back against Simon letting him hold you on his lap. You’re not sure what you’re supposed to do from here, just be there for them and let them get this sexual frustration out. You give in to the trickle of pleasure forcing its way down your bond with Oarsirias. 

“John.” You pant as they both start to move inside of you. 

“Too much?” He asks, you shake your head frantically. 

“No.” You breathe, digging your nails into your thigh not sure what to do with them. 

“Fuck, you feel fantastic.” John breathes, Simon agrees with a hum pressing more kisses into your neck.

“You too.” You reply mindlessly. He does feel amazing, they both do. You never even thought about the fact that you could have them both. Everything feels so sensitive, especially John’s thumb pressed on your clit pushing you further and further to the peak. Simon brushes your hair off your neck so he can get a better angle to the soft skin. You tip your head to the side for him as he sucks leaving little marks wherever his mouth goes. 

You’re surprised they can keep their pace but they have no trouble keeping you close between them and holding you at such a good angle you can feel them hitting every spot inside of you. John’s panting has become more uneven but Simon seems to be holding it together growling in your neck as he teases you with his teeth. 

You wonder what it had been like before them in the past. At least they have each other but now they have you and maybe that's better. Clearly whatever you’re doing is working because you feel them both twitch inside of you as you clench around them both. John tips his head towards yours, his pace falters and he stills inside of you. 

“Too much?” You tease him using his previous words. He looks up at you and smiles pulling back then thrusting into you with one hard grunt. His lips land on yours and he presses his tongue between them. You lead, gliding your tongue against his. It’s hot and messy, too much saliva and swollen lips but you don’t care you could kiss him for hours. All of them. 

Before you can think about kissing Simon you hear him groan. “Gods, you’re bloody prefect.” He says as they both speed up matching each other's rhythm. It’s a perfect balance of almost too much but not enough at the same time. It feels like your whole body beats in time with your racing heart, John’s thumb is harder on your clit flicking it with expert movements that make you clench around them again. 

“Keep doing that.” Simon pants in your hair now strewn all over the place. “Whatever you’re doing is making her tighten so good.” 

“I’m good with my fingers.” John says equally as breathless, Simon chuckles. 

“Oh yeah, perfect sir.” Something about the way the words leave Simon’s mouth makes John groan and press into you even harder, his speed is almost too much and you reach out pressing your hands on his chest.

“Joh- Simon.” You say as you clench around them again, this time your tone is a warning. 

“Yes, love.” John breathes both their paces faltering as they chase their own pleasure. You’re teetering on the edge, your body pulses and power rises under your skin. You feel hot and cold at the same time as power tingles under your fingertips as you lace them through John’s chest hair. You can’t hold it any longer calling out their names over and over as a final warning. 

“Come for us.” Simon says and you tip your head back letting go. Goosebumps rise across your body as Simon stills inside of you and you let yourself tip over the edge. It’s like a whole body experience, it’s like lightning bursting through your chest and you cry out feeling John still as both their cocks throb inside of you filling you up. You close your eyes enjoying the feel of their hands on your body and John’s thumb still on your clit. 

When your heart starts to normalise you open your eyes seeing the swirling blue of a shield containing you all. You stiffen up and John smiles at you leaning down to kiss you. 

“Bloody perfect, love.” John says as he breaks from the kiss then pulls out of you making you feel empty. He presses one of his hands on the shield surrounding you both and after a few seconds it fizzles away. Fresh cool air hits you and you sigh and Simon rolls you off him and into the bed before he climbs in next to you and wraps his arms around you. 

“How do you feel?” He asks. 

“Amazing.” You breathe, his thumb comes to brush your cheek. 

“Good.” He says and you turn your head to look into his caramel eyes. “Are you sure it wasn’t too much? Normally when Oarsirias and Tahpe are like this we take care of each other. Having you though.” He sighs, pressing a kiss on your lips. 

“I’m fine, really.” You promise him. Simon’s arm wraps around your stomach and you relax further back into the pillows. 

“Feel good?” He asks, you look at him and press a kiss on his forehead bringing your hand up to lace through his thick blonde hair. 

“I love your face.” You say the first thing that comes into your head. Your hand travels down and traces over a scar on his cheek. You remember him telling you about that one, or at least who did it. He reaches up, moving your hand over the scar on the side of his mouth that curves up towards his cheeks. 

“Roba.” He says quietly. You nod, you don’t need to know the stories, the fact that he’s opening up to you is enough. He is enough. 

“I’m glad you made them pay.” You say your tone lowering. He smiles and turns his head to kiss the palm of your hand. You’re about to ask him who Roba was when the door to the room opens and you both look over, you have to turn and you see Johnny quickly come in closing the door behind him. 

“What have I missed then?” He asks. John, who is now dressed, goes over to him and kisses him long and slow. 

“Oh, Oarsirias?” Johnny asks almost speechless as they break from the kiss. John nods. “I have stuff to do. It seems like the worst is over.” John says shrugging on his flight jacket. 

“I can lend a hand.” Johnny says, adjusting himself in his pants. Now you feel bad. John chuckles and pats him on the shoulder. 

“I’ll find Gaz, you stick with them.” John says nodding over his shoulder at you both still laid naked in the bed. Johnny smiles, taking his flight jacket off and throwing it over the back of the desk chair before attacking his belt. The door closes as John leaves. 

“Seems like we’re not quite done yet.” Simon says with a dark chuckle his hand traveling down your body. You shiver at the sensation as his fingers find your clit. “Yeah, you’re not done yet.”

___

When you make it back to the Riorson House you can feel Oarsirias’ sadness. She wanted to stay with the feathertail and you’ve been able to feel her disappointment the entire flight. Even when she lands in the front courtyard you can see the slump in her body. Simon slides off her side and she huffs before taking back off into the sky. 

“We’ll be able to visit.” You say, you don’t get a reply and look down Ayze’s neck, her eyes are trained on her daughter flying away. You sigh and slide off her letting her follow after her.

“She’ll be fine.” You say as Simon’s sad eyes look at you. 

“I know.” He says. You feel groggy, like you just want to take a long nap and cry. Johnny’s arm is thrown over your shoulder as Fen Riorson comes out of the massive mansion to greet you. 

“Welcome back.” He greets John and shakes his hand. “I hope the feathertail got back to The Vale safe.” 

“She is under the protection of The Empyrean." John smiles. Fen smiles then looks between you all. 

“Well, we’re glad you’re back. We have news if you would care to join us.” John nods and everyone follows. The halls are still filled with a mix of fliers and riders, it makes you smile that everyone is still getting on together. You need to find Rhea again to help you train more of your lesser magic, maybe getting back into a routine will help. 

When you make it into the Assembly room Fen walks over to his throne while the other men and women take spaces in their chairs on the other side of the table. John stops in the middle of the room and the rest of you stand behind him as an aide closes the door. 

“Welcome back, Major.” Mairi nods. 

“We’ll get straight to the point.” Ulices says. You swallow still feeling emotionally drained, this can’t be good news if they wanted to talk right away. 

“We’ve been getting reports of large groups of infantry gathering at the base of the Medaro Pass.” Fen says and your stomach sinks. “We think they’re going to make a push to clear the path.” No one says anything for a few seconds and John crosses his arms. 

“How many?” John asks. 

“The reports from Shadow Wing have been…unrelaiable.” Fen says, Johnny scoffs and you turn to look at him. “A couple of hundred.” 

“Maybe five-hundred.” Ulices clarifies. 

“Why not just let them through?” Kyle asks, they’re running from the same enemy. 

“We don’t have the resources for the amount of people willing to try their luck on the pass. This is not our problem to deal with its King Tecarus. Besides, our king has ordered the borders closed.” Fen says. The lump in your stomach is not going away. 

“It’s in our best interest to protect the Pass and Aretia.” Imogen’s mum says. 

“Five-hundred soldiers, we’re not prepared to defend that many. Not including the fliers and gryphons I assume they have.” John says. 

“We have had reports there are as many as three hundred.” 

“Wait.” Kyle shakes his head stepping forward. “You’re telling us there are almost a thousand soldiers waiting at the bottom of the Medaro Pass?”

“Grypons can’t scale the cliffs.” Mairi says. 

“We know that's not true.” You say. 

“We have fifty dragon riders and two hundred infantry thanks to General Laswell’s platoon being here. We also have two hundred and fifty cadets and fliers.” Fen says, he sounds more confident then you feel. 

“Fliers won’t fight against their own.” John says.

“We have no idea how loyal these fliers even are. They could be feeding the enemy intel as we talk.” Lady Cardulo says. No one says anything, you’re not sure what to say. John’s right though they can’t rely on the fliers who you’re supposed to be training, why is King Tecarus attacking now? What's changed? 

“What do we do? Do we send the fliers back?” You ask, you had a deal with Tecarus. You’re supposed to be training fliers for him. 

John sighs. “We can start by calling a formation.”

___

It’s not until the end of the day when formation is finally called. 

John and the generals all locked themselves away in a room for hours deciding a plan. Everyone is standing in formation and you’re on the dias with John and the other high ranking officers including Laswell who yawns before crossing her arms. 

The sun is almost set but the courtyard is lit up with strong mage lights, Thape stands behind the dais on the courtyard walls. He’s the only dragon here. Someone dressed as a scribe quickly runs up as soon as everyone is settled and hands John a note. You already know what it says, it’s started. John quickly reads the mastiff before passing it to general Shepherd. 

“We’re under attack by Poromiel.” John starts as people gasp and murmur. “We understand this may come as a shock especially to the fliers who are training under us. We would like to give you all the opportunity to leave. But know that if you do so you will be treated as the enemy.” Tahpe lowers his head behind John and growls, you can smell the sulfur from his breath. 

No one moves, you look over to see Rhea and her squad. She looks pissed, her arms crossed and eyes narrowed. She catches your gaze and you mouth ‘sorry’ at her. “Why are they attacking!?” She calls stepping forward, Craven reaches out for her arm to stop her but he misses. “We’ve been training here for weeks now, you had a deal with King Tecarus!” 

“Yes.” John starts picking his words carefully. “We don’t know why they’re attacking just that they are. We promise all fliers who wish to leave safety until they make it over the cliffs, then we cannot promise anything.” More murmurs fill the courtyard and Rhea steps back into formation. Again no one moves and you smile again. There are eighty-five fliers here and all of them are choosing to stay. 

“It is our job to protect the Medaro Pass and Aretia. Cadets and fliers will be led under General Duenas, it will be your job to protect The Riorson House and Aretia. The infantry and Shadow Wing will defend the Medaro Pass.” John explains, you watch as Cadets' heads turn and look around as John swaps with General Duenas. 

“This is going to be messy.” Kyle says, you turn to look at him. “We should just let the civilians through." 

“You heard Fen and the King. We defend the pass.” John replies. 

“I heard they’re setting up a field hospital in a ruined castle.” Johnny says. 

“It’s not a castle, just an old hall.” You correct him. “I’m guessing that's where you’ll want me to go?” 

“No, we need you in the air with Ayze. The field hospital can handle itself.” John replies, you smile secretly relieved you’re going to get some hands on flying. Dragons roar as they appear in the sky and land on the courtyard walls. Tahpe is almost as dark as the incoming night sky but his deep golden eyes shine as he narrows them. Oarsirias shines almost orange in the low sun, she reminds you of the feathertail you can feel her underlying sadness, she misses her.

Thera hops over to you excitedly as formation breaks. “You can’t come.” You tell her reaching out to stroke the thick feathers by her face. 

“I can keep up with Ayzelunth.” She tips her head to the side. 

“I know, but we’re going to be on the front lines. Someone could easily think you’re the enemy.” You explain trying to let her down gently. “There’ll be plenty of injured to transport when the fighting is over. And I need you to keep an eye on Vela and Rhea.” She chirps disappointedly as the first round of dragons take off and Ayze drops down onto the courtyard floor. 

“Stay safe, make sure Rhea and Vela make it out safe.” You ruffle her head one more time before jogging over to Ayze. Thera stays on the ground as Ayze launches before you properly have your flight goggles on. 

“She will be safe.” Ayze says. “I cannot say the same about us.” 

…

When you make it to the Medaro Pass it’s dark and the infantry are already there fighting. 

Below is a blur of torches and fire arrows. The steep cliffs and path leave little room for error for either side. Every now and then you see torches fall down the side of the cliffs as some unlucky infantry loses their balance. The screech of gryphons fills the air and you look over trying to find them against the dark sky. At least it’s a clear night and a full moon, giving you just enough light to make them out. 

John orders you into an attack formation with him leading, you’re going to meet the gryphons half-way. 

Ayze dives down chasing the gryphon in front of you. You watch as he draws his bow but before he gets a chance to shoot Ayze opens her mouth engulfing the gryphon and its flier in a ball of fire. You hear the screech of the gryphon before it falls out the sky dead. 

You feel sick, that could have been Thera, your mind goes to her but she’s out of range for you to contact her. You hope she’s still hiding somewhere safe, the last thing you need is to be worrying about her getting hurt. 

“The feathered one is safe, healer. Now focus there are more infantry on the pass.” Ayze says, you nod pushing the thought to the back of your mind. She banks to the right, turning back towards the Medaro Pass. You feel bad, it’s been months since there was an attack on Navarre from Poromiel. 

“You need to get closer for my shields to be useful!” You say. Ayze roars and dips in her flight, your nails dig into her scales as she breaks through the low clouds and you can see the infantry fighting on the now opened paths on the pass. It must be terrifying for them, being surrounded by all these dragons who could scorch them at a moment's notice, it must take an iron will to not run from dragon fire but charge into it. 

You see Poromiel soldiers clad in deep red compared to the Navarre soldiers in deep blue. You see Tahpe burn a line of Poromiel soldiers who are trying to brute force their way up a different route. Most of them don’t even get a chance to scream. 

“We need to hold them back, if the Gryphons get past us they’ll cut the infantry off from behind!” John reminds us. You nod and lean forward on Ayze so there is less wind resistance for her to dive after another two gryphons. The sharp turns Ayze is doing are dizzying as the gryphons spit up and Ayze picks one to follow. 

“There’s less gryphons than we thought!” Johnny’s voice comes back. Ayze roars again, opening her mouth and spewing out fire at the flier and its mount. You look over seeing a dark mass fly up beside you grabbing the other gryphon in its mouth, it’s Kyle and Car. 

“They’re coming from somewhere else.” Simon says. You look down and try and see what he’s talking about, the infantry are still fighting on the pass but they’re being pushed further and further up. There’s a new line now slowly making their way up and behind the frontlines. It won’t be long before they’ve breached through. 

It isn’t good, even if they fail this attack they’ve already widened and cleared the pass, they could come back at any time and finish the job. Kyle wants to start an avalanche to clear them out but chances are we’d lose all our infantry too. He’s keeping it in his back pocket though as a worst case scenario. 

Shadow Wing are fighting at the bottom of the cliffs, you can't see them but you hear the odd distant dragon roar now and then. You look at the sliver of infantry who are making their way up the cliffs via different routes. You need to do something about them, there are only a few infantry waiting at the top guarding the field hospital which has been set up in a crumbling old town hall. 

“Land.” John orders while the gryphons are cleared out. “We need a new plan before we’re split up too far.” 

You all land in the clearing by the field hospital but none of you dismount your dragons. 

“If they’re heading this way they’ll hit the field hospital!” You call, you can just about see John nod. 

“Shadow Wing can defend the bottom of the pass, we’ll split.” You see him look over at you. “You, Soap and Gaz will protect the hospital, we can’t spare any infantry to help. Me and Ghost will try and find where they’re coming from, cut off their smaller routes.” 

“If there was another route we’d know about it.” Johnny says and you nod in agreement. 

“If they breach the front lines we’re all dead anyway. We need to find out where the breach is on the cliffline.” John says. 

“I’ll say in the air, you two should stay on the ground.” Kyle says. You’re already dismounting Ayze as he says it. Dragons take off around you as you and Johnny jog over to the healers helping the injured infantry into the building. Ahead of you fighting is taking place, you catch flashes of blue then crimson red. 

“This is the last of the injured.” One of the healers says to you as you bring your medical bag around to your front. 

“Bar the doors!” Johnny orders.

“What about the people outside?” One of the infantry says. 

“If they need help our dragons will tell us, we protect the injured.” Johnny says. 

“Where can I help?” You ask the healer, you see relief flash across her face. 

“Come with me.” She says. 

You’re not even sure how long you’ve been working when Johnny comes over to you. 

“Fighting’s heading this way, we need to move you.” He says, you step around to get more bandages. 

“There are too many to move.” You protest wrapping more bandages around the patient's leg. “Did John and Simon find where they’re coming from?”

“No.” He says, your stomach drops. 

“How serious is it?” You ask, trying to remain calm. He pauses for a moment then reaches his arm around your waist pulling you close and locking his lips to yours. You stare at him shocked, they never kiss you like this in public with everyone watching. You relax for a second against him, closing your eyes and kissing him back. It feels so good and so final. 

When he breaks from the kiss you see the nerves on his face, the sadness in his eyes. It’s serious. 

“We fight.” He says, you breathe your lips still tingling.

“We fight.” You reply not knowing what to say, your sword feeling heavy on your waist. Johnny nods and turns to order commands at the little infantry you have protecting you. You turn to the healers, some of which are watching you with wide eyes. 

“We need to move the beds to the corner of the room.” You order with as much confidence as you can muster. If you need to protect them with a shield it’s best that they’re all in the back corner of the room. The ceiling is caving in and you could easily be attacked from above if you stay in the centre of the room. You help the healers move the bedridden first and they seem to be listening to you. 

“Will we be okay?” One of the healers asks. 

“We’ll be fine.” You say helping a walking wounded move over and sit down against the wall. “Just don’t move from here. We’ll protect you.” You look into the brown eyes of the worried healer. A few months ago that would have been you, out in the field being protected by riders and infantry. Now you’re the protector and it’s your job to keep them safe. 

“Medic!” Johnny shouts and you turn hearing a deep thud on the massive closed double doors of the hall. Maybe one day this used to be part of a bigger building but there is nothing just the outside and a platoon of Poromiel infantry. 

“I can burn the doors?” Kyle asks. 

“You’ll set the place alight!” Johnny calls. “We’ll hold them off if they breach.” You unsheathe your sword and walk up to stand on the front lines. You feel Ayze’s nerves down the bond but ignore it, you hope if all else fails she’ll keep Kyle safe. If you and Johnny fall you hope she looks after him. 

“You will not fall.” She says. 

You look over at Johnny who stands with the other group of infantry. It’s going to be a close quarters fight, to the death. You think about all the training you’ve done with Simon and all the times he's kicked your arse. You try to remember everything you know about fighting, how to hold your sword and how to block efficiently. You turn around and look back over at the walking wounded. 

“Whoever can fight, pick up a weapon and join us.” You say using as much authority as you can. Some of them move, others don't, you don’t really care, you need as much help as you can get as the doors start to shake with infantry pounding on the other side. The sound of gryphons screeching fills the air and Ayze roars in your head before a flash of hot flames lights through the broken spots in the roof. 

You look at the massive wooden doors knowing they won’t hold much longer. You know there are a few guards behind you and the few walking wounded leaves you with twelve people against who knows what is about to burst through the doors. 

“If we’re going down. We go down fighting.” You say quietly so the people beside you don’t hear. Johnny reaches out, lacing his fingers with yours and squeezing your hand. He drops it when there is another bang on the door. 

“You can do this, healer. You will fight and you will live.” Ayze says. It’s the boost of confidence you need just as the doors fly open. You’re not even sure how many people rush into the room. It's a sea of shining armor and red. 

Something pushes you back, an invisible force. You only just manage to hold onto your sword. The sound of metal clinking against each other fills your ears as infantry run towards you. You raise your arm and sword bringing it down on the first person you see. You cry out as it happens and slice through his neck with ease. It’s the first time you’re killing anything with your sword, Simon’s lessons have paid off. 

The blade is stuck for a few seconds and you yank it out his neck, blood squirts over you. You don’t worry about it, you just swing your sword at the next one coming towards you. This time he blocks your swing and you’re stuck in a fight with him. You back up putting space between you both, you can’t lose too much space though you need to protect the injured.

Your range is lowered as you swing with your arms wrapped in tight bandages, you hit the metal armor and feel the impact vibrate down your sword and arm. It feels like it makes your teeth chatter but you pull your arm back and swing again. This time you hit flesh, the man in front of you cries out and before you can feel bad you plunge the sword harder into his neck. 

Simon would berate you for going for the same move twice but you’re not fighting venin and there are way too many people here for you to be picky with your moves you just need to protect the hospital. You can’t believe they’re attacking the field hospital anyway. 

You hear a scream and your heart drops. You turn to the source and see one of the Navarre soldiers collapse to the ground with an axe sticking out the top of his head. You feel sick, but you don’t have time to dwell on that now as another soldier rushes towards you. You turn to face him, he has a mace, you’ve never fought one of them before and as he swings it you’re not sure what to do. 

You try to block it with your sword but the chain wraps around it and he yanks the weapon out your hands. You gasp, eyes going wide and you reach for your hatchet. The soldier cries out and swings at you, you hold your hatchet up but a second before it’s going to make contact with you his sword vanishes. He looks confused and you look over to Johnny who now has two swords in his hands. 

Even though he’s mid fight he still manages to wink at you. You lunge for your dropped sword using lesser magic to move it the last few centimeters to your hand. You thank the training you did with Rhea and Craven and get back up immediately swinging at the soldier who now only has a dagger to defend himself. You feel bad but you have to protect the hospital so you aim for his hand in an effort to knock the dagger away. 

He screams as the blade meets flesh and drops his dagger, you kick him in the stomach and he falls to the ground clutching his wrist. You should finish him off but before you get a chance there’s a sharp stabbing pain in your arm. You cry out dropping your hatchet and bringing your hand up to feel an arrow lodged in the top of your arm. You look around in horror and see some new soldiers making it into the building with crossbows. 

“Johnny!” You shout and turn to him as you watch some of them reload. This is not good, you see Johnny look over and he holds his hand out. People are around you falling faster, some are wearing red others blue. You need to do something, you turn to look behind you at the healers and injured still in the corner of the room, they’re still safe. One crossbow is teleported out a soldier's arms then another. 

Johnny has to stop though as someone charges at him. Hot pain throbs down your arm and Ayze roars so loud you can hear her outside as well as in your head. Some of the Poromiel infantry look towards the windows and you use their temporary distraction to charge at the soldiers holding the crossbows. You raise your sword, your arm screaming with pain and cry out as tears form in your eyes. 

You bring the sword down at one of them but he bats it away with his crossbow and the blot goes off barely missing your head and lodging in the ceiling. Before you can recover yourself you’re hit on your back and forced to the floor. 

“NO!” Johnny screams, you feel your power tingle through your body and reach down your bond to pull power from Ayze. You have to protect yourself, you have to protect the hospital. You imagine a shield around you and the next blow bounces off you. It’s only when someone grabs your arm and pulls you away do you realise you’ve been holding your breath. As soon as you’re out of danger you let the shield fall and get to your feet. 

“Move!” A random infantry snaps at you, you don’t even know what you’re supposed to be dodging, you just jump over a body by your feet and walk back surveying the scene. There’s more blue on the floor then red and your stomach drops, you look over at the last few Navarre infantry fighting two to one. 

“Fall back!” You call, Johnny dispatches another person before turning and seeing the same thing as you. You need to protect the healers. 

“How is it going out there?” You ask Ayze as dragon flame lights up the windows and a roar fills the air. 

“We are winning.” She says. Good, at least something is going well. 

“Johnny! We need to fall back!” You call as he seems to push further. You put your sword back in its sheathe as you and the rest of the infantry fall back to the healers. You reach for your power. You’re going to need one strong shield to protect against everything they’ll throw at you. Johnny comes to your side, his face splashed with blood. 

“I’ll get their weapons, focus on your shield." He says, you nod as you make it to the healers. You close your eyes for a second and throw your arms up, you hear one of the Poromiel soldiers chuckle as arrows fly past you. Someone behind you screams but you focus on what you’re doing, you concentrate on the power pulsating through you ignoring the pain down your arm. 

You let out a long breath as your fingers and arms tingle. You imagine your feet firmly on the floor of the surgery room in your mind but you throw the doors open for Ayze’s power. When you open your eyes there’s a massive shield tucking you all into the corner of the room. The Poromiel infantry look on in confused wonder as Johnny continues to pull weapons out their arms. An arrow hits the shield and you grunt but hold it. Johnny pants next to you as he finishes with the crossbows. 

“Johnny, it’s okay. Don’t burn out.” You warn him, turning your head to see the red flush of his face. 

“We need reinforcements!" You order to Ayze. 

“Comming!” She roars and more dragon fire lights up the room. Your arms start to ache as the soldiers begin to pound on the shield with whatever they have. It’s useless though, you won’t let this shield fall. You pull on more power from Ayze who growls, you know she’s busy but you can’t let innocent people die. Not now, not ever. Hold, hold, hold. Your brain screams at you each time they pound on the shimmering blue surface. You close your eyes and grit your teeth holding the shield with all the strength you have in your body. It feels like your whole body is burning now, each muscle is tense and screaming at you to let go. 

Hold, hold, hold. 

Your eyes fly open at the sound of boots rushing into the room. Someone shouts and you see a sea of dark blue infantry storm the building. You almost drop your shield out of pure relief but instead you clench your teeth and close your eyes again choosing to listen to the slaughter rather than witness it. You’re not sure how long you’re waiting for before a hand lands on your shoulder and you open your eyes. 

It’s over. 

You drop the shield and your arms feel like jelly. All the power you just had access to leaves your body making your knees tremble but you close the door in your mind letting the last of your power fade away. The infantry step around the red bodies on the floor and you finally see how many people have died or been injured. 

“We need to search for injured.” You say, feeling exhausted. 

“You need to sit down.” Johnny says his hand is trying to turn you. You look at him suddenly remembering the arrow in your arm. Pain throbs through you and you reach over to touch the arrow in your arm. You look around and see healers coming towards you. 

“I’m fine.” You lie to them, Ayze grumbles in your head. Johnny moves you over to one of the empty beds. “Just pull it out.” You ask through gritted teeth. 

“You sure?” Johnny asks, gripping the arrow. 

“Yeah.” You nod. “Don’t count down jus-” A scream rips through you as he yanks it out your arm. Ayze roars and you hear her land outside, the sky filling with fire. 

“Shit, sorry.” Johnny murmurs inspecting the arrow to make sure it’s intact. You move to step up off the bed but he pushes you back down. “Sit.” 

“I’m good.” You lie again feeling sick as the adrenaline wains. 

“Fuck, love. Let them patch you up at least.” He holds your shoulders, you relent and sit on the bed letting the healer patch up your arm. You only got scraped but it’ll take a while to heal with no mender. You don’t care, you survived, you kept everyone safe. Your fingers are still twitching from holding the shield for so long. You can feel Ayze’s power pulse through you like lightning. 

“How are the others?” You ask Ayze. 

“Thape and Oarsirias are still out of range.”

“Did she transform?”

“No.” You breathe a sigh of relief. Johnny comes back over to you as you jump off the bed. 

“How many dead?” You ask, he sighs and looks behind him. You see the infantry starting to move the bodies. 

“Twenty, maybe more.” He says, you nod and roll your shoulder. Feeling the throb of your wound. You smile when you see Kyle come into the building. His eyes narrow as he sees the bandage on your arm. 

“The sky is clear. Are John and Simon back yet?” He asks. 

“Still out of range.” You reply, Kyle looks around then up at Johnny whose face is still flushed red. “You good?”

“Always.” Johnny smiles and his hand pats you on your back. “We held our own right lass?”

“Yeah.” You reply as the smell of blood finally hits your nose. You want to get out of here and back on Ayze’s back. You look out through the cracks in the building and you can see smoke billowing up into the sky. 

“We managed to find out where they snuck through.” Kyle says. “Lundra and Car took care of it.” A dragon roars and you see a dark black shape temporarily block the light from outside. John’s back. 

“We should meet them.” Johnny says, turning to the double door entrance. You nod and follow after them making it outside just as Oarsirias lands and Simon slides down her spine. You smile when you see them and John smiles at you too as he comes towards you all. Before you get a chance to make it to him there is an almighty roar. 

You all turn and see Ayze barreling towards Tahpe. Anger pulses through you and you stand there in shock. John pulls you out of Ayze’s path as she roars, flapping her wings and you have to duck as she reaches Tahpe and locks her mouth around his neck. John drops to the ground. Oarsirias roars and you drop next to John’s side feeling Ayze’s anger burn through you. 

“Ayze! Let him go!” You scream at her.

“He put her in danger!” She replies, digging her teeth in deeper. 

“He didn’t mean it! Let him go!” You snap, you have no idea if that's true or not but she’s killing John. She lets Tahpe’s neck go and roars at him. He turns and snaps back at her. John breathes in as much air as he can. 

“It’s okay.” You say rubbing his back. “Breathe, John.” He nods and you turn your attention back to the dragons roaring at each other. You have no idea what's going on or why Ayze is so angry with Tahpe. Oarsirias looks almost guilty as she stands between them both. Ayze’s head snaps at her and she huffs smoke at her before turning to look at you. 

“What’s going on?” You ask her, you feel her lower her shields. 

“She is pregnant and Tapherross took her into battle!” You’re standing there with your mouth hanging open. You look at Oarsirias and for a brief second you think you see her cheeks flush. She’s pregnant. 

“What? What did she say?” Simon asks. 

“You cannot tell them. It is not your secret to tell, healer.” Ayze warns. You shake your head and close your mouth not even sure what to say. John gets to his feet and you turn to look at him and his neck for marks you know won’t be there. 

“What did she say?” John asks this time, his voice horse. You look at the blood dripping down Tahpe’s neck, Oarsirias has moved close to him and begins to lick up the blood dripping down to the grass. 

“I can’t say. I cannot share the secrets of dragons.” You say, swallowing the lump in your throat. Simon turns and walks towards the dragons

“Oarsirias?!” He calls, throwing his hands up. A low growl rises in Tahpe’s throat as Simon gets closer to them. You see how injured his neck is, the wounds are deep as Oarsirias licks at them. 

“I’m pregnant." Oarsirias suddenly announces. You hear a collective gasp and you know they’ve been privy to the same information. Simon drops his arms and turns to look at you all. 

“Oh my.” Johnny says, breaking the silence. 

“You went into battle pregnant?" John asks. Oarsirias turns and snaps at us, Simon jumps back. 

“I can take care of myself!” 

“The Empyrean would scorch us if anything happened to you!” John replies sounding angry, his eyes are on Tahpe. 

“Humans cannot control the actions of dragons.” Tahpe’s voice drones in your head. You’re not sure what to say, Simon turns and comes over to you. 

“How long did you know?” You ask Ayze down the bond that only connects you and her.

“A few minutes before you did.” 

“I’m fine.” Oarsirias says. You try to think about what you know about dragon pregnancies. You have no idea how long Oarsirias has been pregnant for so you don’t know how long she has been carrying her egg. You think it takes a few weeks for the egg to fully develop before it will be birthed. Then it can take anywhere from a few months to decades for a dragon to finally hatch. 

You hear the shriek of a gryphon and everyone’s heads including the dragons look up into the air. You see a massive gryphon fly overhead, it screeches again and you see the royal stamped armor protecting it. 

“Let it land!” John orders just before Ayze and Lundra are about to launch. 

“It’s a royal gryphon.” You say. 

“Why is there only one?” Kyle asks. 

“So it can sneak through our defenses.” John says as it changes its flight and comes in to land a few meters ahead of you. Sat on the gryphon's back is a single man, not in armor or any kind of protective gear. Instead he’s wearing a long crimson robe adorned with the Poromiel’s royal crest. Ayze and Lundra stalk around behind the gryphon, their heads low and growls emanating from deep in their throats. Oarsirias stands in front of Tahpe protectively as everyone watches the man slide down the side of his gryphon and starts to walk towards you. 

Simon and Kyel walk over to him both drawing swords but allow the man to walk towards you. Your hand rests on the top of your hatchet, ready at a seconds notice to attack. 

“Major Price.” He says with a thick Porommielish accent. He reaches into his tunic, Johnny draws his sword and the man freezes. “I have a message from His Majesty King Tecarus of Porommiel.” John walks past Kyle resting his hand on Kyle's shoulder who lowers his sword slightly. The man continues to reach into his long robe. 

You all watch in silence and you hold your breath as he pulls out a very official looking sealed letter. He holds it out for John and you can see the shake in his hands. John takes it and sighs, breaking the seal and unfolding the letter. You try to peek over his shoulder to see what's written but the hand writing is way too curly for you to make out. 

John spends a few moments reading it before he sighs and looks back over at the messenger. 

“Whats the catch?”

“No catch, Major.” The messenger says, then looks around at everyone. “Just that you and your team come alone.” 

“What does it say?” Johnny asks without turning his attention from the messenger. 

“King Tecarus has invited us to parle. He wishes to talk about a truce regarding the Medaro Pass.” John explains folding the letter closed and tucking it between his undershirt and protective vest. 

“Will you come?” The messenger asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Tell His Majesty we will come.” John says.

“Price, are you sure?” Kyle asks, turning and raising an eyebrow. “What if it’s a trap?” 

“Could be.” John crosses his arms. “We’ll be there.” The messenger nods looking between you all before turning and heading back towards the gryphon. You could kill it right now, you could be walking into a trap with meeting the King, you’re not diplomats you’re soldiers, riders. 

“We need to send word to our King, he needs to know they’re willing to talk and not to push a counter attack.” John says, he takes a step towards Tahpe who grunts as he rises up. “And I’m going to need a lift back to The Riorson House.” Just as he says that Tahpe takes off into the air. 

“He can fly with-” 

“No.” Ayze growls before you get a chance to finish your sentence. You turn to look at her feeling angry. 

“It’s not his fault.” You say. 

“If he mounts me I will throw him off!” She snaps, blood still dripping from her teeth. 

“C’mon, you can ride with me.” Johnny says patting John on the back, you give him an apologetic glance. Your head throbs as you think about everything that's happened over the last few minutes. The king of Porommiel wants to talk and Oarsirias is pregnant. You almost can’t believe it. You watch as John climbs up Johnny’s red morningstartail. 

“Are you ready to leave?” Ayze asks. You turn and look back at the building the field hospital is held in. 

“No, we still have work to do here.” You say and head back towards the building. Ayze chuffs proudly. 

“Are you staying?” Simon asks. You nod, his hand rests on your shoulder. 

“More dragons and flies and dragons will be here soon to transport the injured.” He says as Lundra launches with John and Johnny. 

“Thank you.” You let out a long breath as a cool breeze sweeps through the mountains. 

“You did well today.” Simon says.

“Thank you, I took an arrow to the arm but it could have been a lot worse.” You say, he turns to look at you and you see a flash of pain in his eyes. “I’m okay.” 

“I’ll come back.” He says turning to Oarsirias.

“You don’t have to.” 

“I will.” He says, you look up in his eyes, there are not many people around so you throw your arms around him and squeeze him tight. 

“I love you, Simon.” You close your eyes breathing him in as his arms wrap around you and he squeezes you back, you made it. You survived. 

“I love you too.” He replies. 

“I hate to break up this moment.” Ayze huffs and you break from behind you. “But Dark Ones approach.” Your stomach sinks and you look in shock. “John! We need back up!” Simon calls in your head. “We’re coming!” John replies and you hear a distant roar. You look over at the field hospital and then at Oarsirias. 

“Go!” You push him away from you. “Take Oarsirias and get out of here!”

“I can fight.” She snaps. 

“John’s right, if the Empyrean finds out you’re going into battle pregnant they’ll kill us all.” You say pleading with Simon who thankfully nods. You turn back to Ayze, this can’t be happening not after everything.

“How far out are they?” You ask Ayze. 

“I am not sure. A couple of kilometers, maybe less.” She says as she lowers so you can mount her. The dark will not help you spot them but they could be anywhere and you have no idea how many there will be. And Oarsirias can’t transform. You’re at a disadvantage, you’ve just fought, you’re down dragons and people. 

“We need to go up and see how many there are.” You say. Ayze launches and you fly over to the edge of the cliff. If venin are coming they’ll probably be coming over the mountains, not the cliffs. You see the infantry below you making their way back up triumphantly from the pass. Ayze roars at them, the fighting is not over yet but everyone is exhausted you know that much. Ayze turns and heads towards the mountains. 

The moon is high in the sky, you thank the Gods for that. You search around looking between the mountains when suddenly there’s a break in the horizon, a wyvern. You grip her pommels tighter as your stomach sinks. It's not a wyvern, it’s too big and has too many legs. It's not a wyvern, it's a dragon. 

There is only one venin that rides a dragon, Erik.

next

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[moody-alcoholic]

The things that happen in a hotel room

John price x f!reader CW: +18 content MDNI. Mastibation, voyeurism, exhibitionism, fingering, proof read once.

AN: I've had this idea in my head for days... it's taken over my mind then I saw this picture. I had to write it.

___

John is sitting in a chair at the end of the bed with a glass of amber whisky on ice in his hand. 

You smile at him as you’re sitting naked crossed legged on the bed. Which is exactly how John found you when he walked back into the hotel room. 

“I’m supposed to be giving a speech in 15 minutes, Mrs. Price.” He says with a playful smile on his lips. You nod knowingly and open your legs, bending your knees and leaning back into the plump cushions. He takes a long drink letting the glass hang lazily from his hand. 

He looks so effortlessly put together tonight, his white shirt is ironed and clean, his tie loosened around his neck and his black suit jacket thrown over the end of the bed. It didn’t take much to get him up to the room, one little text and he came running like the place was on fire. 

You couldn’t help it, seeing everyone gush over him, praise him. The way his team talked about him in the field, especially his mysterious lieutenant, warmed your heart and made you so incredibly proud. You sat there and listened to the stories of his heroism watching how John would casually blow them off choosing to talk about his team instead. 

You couldn’t be more proud of him. He needed a reward. 

You smile as he looks at you through his dark lashes. You swallow the nerves rising in your throat and drag your hand down your stomach and abdomen, he watches intently following your fingers as you press two of them between your folds spreading yourself open for him. 

You watch his throat bob as he swallows looking up from where your finger is now tracing your clit. He takes another long drink finishing his glass. And places it on the small table next to him. 

“What would you like, Captain. You said we had 15 minutes.” You say trying to sound as sexy as possible while you rub slow circles around your clit. He leans forward in his chair checking his watch. 

“13 minutes.” He says, his voice is low. You see his deep blue eyes sparkle in the low light of the room. “We could get a lot done in 13 minutes.” You smile and nod at him as you feel yourself give in to the pleasure rising in your core. He hums then rises up, you watch as he unclasps his cufflink on his right arm and rolls his shirt up to his elbow. You stop touching yourself moving your fingers down to your entrance and pressing one in slowly moaning for him as he walks over and his legs hit the end of the bed.

“Feel good?” He asks, raising his eyebrow. 

“Would feel better with your fingers.” You say pulling the finger inside of you out as he crawls onto the bed coming towards you. You press your wet finger against your clit, his eyes lock onto yours as he makes his way between your legs. He looks down at your clit, his eyes going wide and you take the finger off offering it to him. He wraps his mouth around it, wetting it with his tongue. A low grumble rises in his throat as he tastes you before letting your finger go. 

“Don’t stop.” He says and you smile at him pressing your finger back to your clit. He hums, you can feel his warm breath on you. He watches intently as you add another finger angling your hips up so you’re closer to his face. You want his lips, his tongue, you want to feel the way his beard scratches your skin. The thought is enough to have you biting your bottom lip. 

“John.” You breathe, he smiles at your desperate plea but doesn’t help you which only makes you mildly frustrated. You can feel like you’re counting down the minutes in your head, you moan for him again moving your fingers back down to your entrance. 

“No, no, no.” He tuts as he props himself up on his left arm. You stop moving your fingers out the way, he looks up at you and you can see the red flush in his cheeks and the neediness in his eyes. “Let me.” He brings his other hand around pressing two fingers into his mouth sucking on them for way longer than you deem necessary before he presses them gently into you. 

You arch your back at the feel of him stretching you out, each inch he pushes them in sends pulses of pleasure through you. You moan his name as he curls them up immediately pressing on that oh-so-sweet spot inside of you. You reach out with your other hand for his hair, then you pause remembering how well he styled it for tonight. 

“Don’t stop.” He says again his voice even lower then before as he slowly drags his fingers in and out of you. Your fingers go straight back to your clit and the touch is electric. You fight to keep your body still for him curling your toes on the soft bedding. 

“Is this what you wanted when you called me up here?” He asks. You shake your head and he chuckles, pressing his fingers into you faster this time. You moan louder this time matching your fingers with his. He groans low, curling his fingers inside of you and pressing deeper with every thrust. You clench around his fingers and he chuckles, only speeding up forcing you to match him yet again. 

“Don’t stop.” You echo his earlier words, throwing your head back and closing your eyes. 

“Right there? Hum?” He teases, you nod trying to hold back for as long as possible, trying to hold onto the ecstasy of his fingers pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your rhythm changes and you find the perfect spot on your clit and your body lurches involuntarily. 

“Let go, love.” He murmurs, sending vibrations through your body and it pushes you over the edge. Your whole body reacts, waves of pleasure pulse over you as you throb around John’s fingers. “Fucking perfect.” 

“No you’re perfect.” You babble at him as you come down from the high, opening your eyes and looking down at him again. He pulls his fingers out you and chuckles looking down at the mess you’ve made on the bed. He presses the two fingers into his mouth. 

“I’ll be thinking about this for the rest of the night.” He says. “Until I can take you to bed properly.” He pushes himself up to kiss you, his lips are soft and you can taste the smoky whisky and yourself as he presses his tongue into your mouth, you moan as he drags it against yours it’s almost like he’s trying to drink you up. You never want it to end but like all good things it does. 

“Now, I have a speech to give.” He says getting up off the bed and going over to shrug on his suit jacket. You nod and make your own way off the bed and over to your dress. Before you have a chance to pick it up his arm wraps around your waist pulling you close to him. You turn in his arms and press your chest to his, you can feel his cock straining in his pants. 

“You’re going to give a speech like that.” You tease him, he smiles and kisses you again. Long and slow this time, the kind of kiss you can sink into and lose track of time. This time the only thing that breaks you is a knock on the door. 

“Cap, is everything okay?” A sweet Scottish accent comes back. You smile at John who kisses you again quickly before reattaching his cufflink. “LT was gettin’ worried. Said you might a’ got cold feet.” 

“See you down there?” He asks, you nod and reach over for your dress. He leaves to go over to the door but he hesitates just before opening it. You look at him as you pull your dress over your head. “Oh, and no underwear.” He cocks his head to the side. 

“Saves time later.” He winks and leaves the room, you feel a burn rise in your core again at the thought of later. You throw your shoes on and pick up his glass before leaving the room still wet and ready for him.

___

[moody-alcoholic]

The next chapter of where blood meets flame has chewed me up and spat me out. It's the longest chapter so far and it's taken me the longest to get through.

Anyway it'll be out tomorrow I'm not editing 12k+ words tonight 😮‍💨

Here's a little preview since it really has taken me so long.

___

It’s early afternoon when John brings General Sorrengail over to see you. She looks stern as you remember, her chocolate hair cut short and stilled back out her face like most riders. She’s the only person wearing her dress uniform. “Sergeant.” She addresses you, you almost drop the bandage in your hand as you stiffen up and you look up at John who smiles at you and nods. 

“General Sorrengail.” You reply. “It’s an honor to be back at Basgiath and helping with The Threshing.” She nods and you think you see a hint of a smile on her face.

“I heard you were wounded in action.” She says looking at your still bandaged arms. 

“Yes, I was taken captive by-” You pause not sure what to say, you look back up at John for support. 

“I read the reports.” She says thankfully moving the conversation along. You nod. “Betrayed by one of the other medics I understand.” 

“Private Rowan” John clarifies for her, she presses her lips together as she looks over you. 

“And they didn’t kill you?” It feels like a stab to the heart as she says it. 

“They wanted intel.” You reply. She hums and her eyes meet yours. You fight not to look away. The seconds feel like they’re lasting minutes as she stares at you studying something deep in your eyes you can’t see. Her signet is storm wielding, and she gives you a look that makes you think she’s about to strike you down with lightning. 

“I heard they’re giving you a medal for bravery.” She says finally. You swallow feeling an immovable lump in your throat and look up at John who crosses his arms. “It was going to be a surprise.” He says, sounding annoyed, or maybe he’s bored. 

“Well. We wouldn’t want our riders to think we don’t care about their trials and tribulations, do we now, Major?” She turns to look at him over her shoulder and he stiffens up before looking back to you. “Especially ones who have suffered greatly.” 

“Thank you.” You say without really thinking. You see a ghost of a smile on her lips before she nods and turns away with John following. When it finally feels like you can breathe again you turn feeling heat rush to your face. You don’t want a medal, you didn’t feel brave when you were kidnapped and held hostage. You didn’t feel brave, you felt vulnerable and scared but there’s no medal for that. 

“Are you okay?” Amy asks. You turn to her, smile and nod. 

“Never been better.” 

___

[moody-alcoholic]

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Part 2 - Protectors

Witch hunters Ghoap x Witch reader WC: 3.6k

CW: angst, alcohol

Previous - AO3 - Masterlist

“I know I said you were the most beautiful thing in this forest but this is pretty nice too.” Johnny says as you make it to the small clearing in the forest away from the main road. You smile and bend down to run your fingers through the massive bed of mixed wild flowers and herbs. 

“This place is great for flowers and herbs.” You smile. You reach out for your power and hold a hand out with your fingers stretched. 

“What are you doing? “Johnny asks. 

“Magic.” You reply. You watch as the sun peaking through the trees shift and change as you whisper asking the forest to show you what you want to see and today you need lavender and wild sage. The beams of light move and light up patches on the sea of flowers. 

“Whoah.” Johnny says his eyes wide as you drop your hand and walk around the outside of the cleaning so you won’t squish any flowers or herbs by accident. 

“Who taught you?” Johnny asks as he follows you. You turn to look at him quickly then look behind him to see Simon leaned against a tree rolling a cigarette in his fingers.  

“Magic or herbology?” “Herbology, no one is ever taught magic.” He says, you smile. 

“My parents.” You say suddenly feeling sad, you bend back down to pull out some lavender. 

“Where are they now?” He asks. 

“Dead.” You sigh as you stand up inspecting the stalks of the lavender. 

“I’m sorry.” He says, his hand landing on the top of your back. You look up at him and smile, thinking about your parents still brings a tear to your eye. 

“It’s okay, it happened a long time ago.” You say, you look over at Simon still leaning against the tree with a cigarette hanging out his mouth. He’s still in earshot though as you walk over to a patch of dandelions with Johnny. 

“What happened?” He asks as you bend down again. 

“I-” You stop yourself. You’re not sure how much you want to tell two strangers. Strangers who fucked you, you remind yourself feeling heat rush to your face. You stand back up shaking the dirt off the dandelion leaves. 

“They were killed.” You say. “For being witches.” 

“Were they?” Johnny asks with a raised eyebrow. You can’t help chuckling, strangely it makes you feel better. You haven’t been able to talk about your parents since they died. You learnt a long time ago that it was best not to talk about those who had been executed as witches. Especially if it’s your own blood. 

“No. They were herbalists. My father even trained in the Capital.” You say proudly. 

“So what happened?” He asks. You sigh and stand still turning to look at him, he looks sad. “If you want to talk about it of course.” You force a smile and place the dandelions in your basket. 

“It was just after the Queen had been killed. Everyone was suddenly suspicious of their neighbours and herbalists living an alternative lifestyle, well they were at the top of the list. My parents owned a small store, and it started being raided by the authorities. My parents lost almost all their patients overnight.” You sigh and walk back over to Simon at the edge of the clearing. 

“They came one night with pitchforks and torches. People I had known all my life, people I had grown up with were calling for my parents' blood.” You shiver at the memory and Johnny’s warm hand lands on the top of your back. “There was no trial, no justice just-” 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to continue.” Johnny says, you blink tears away gripping the handle of your basket tighter. 

“It’s okay, it’s the first time I’ve spoken about it in years.” 

“How old were you?” He asks. 

“Fiftheen.” 

“I’m so sorry.” He says, his hand rubs your back. 

“I remember my father pleading for his life and my mothers life. When it was clear they weren't going to listen he begged for my mother to be spared so I wouldn’t be left an orphan. No one would listen though even when he tried to convince them it was all him and my mother was innocent.” You let out a long breath feeling a lump rise in your throat. The sweet smell of Simon’s cigarette fills your nose. 

“How did they do it?” Simon asks. You swallow hard looking at the bottom half of his face. You weren't exactly paying attention last night but you can see his skin littered with scars. 

“They were burned at the stake.” You bow your head. People used to think the only way you could truly kill a witch was to burn them. Now-a-days the practice is seen as macabre, hanging or beheading is now the preferred form but when your parents were killed the superstition still stood, you will never forget their screams. 

A breeze flows through the trees and makes you shiver. Simon stands up off the tree and rubs the butt of his cigarette out before flicking it on the floor. 

“C’mon.” Let's get back. Johnny says with a smile. You nod forcing your own smile before 

___ They stick to you like glue. 

Johnny helps you prepare all the tinctures and salves you need to make for your patients. He listens to everything you tell him and te ach him about what you’re making telling  him you would be happy to teach him more. 

Simon stalks around the perimeter of your house. You explained to him as best as you could about the magic wards you have around the perimeter and he nods like he understands but you’re not sure that he does. After lunch you all make your way to the town to do your daily rounds. 

“We should pop into the pub when you’re done.” Johnny says cheerfully. You’re not really in the mood for socialising but you agree anyway and as the sun starts to set you make your way over. You’ve only been in a few times but the place is full, cozy and warm. You know the landlady, Sarah is her name. One month her husband got sick and almost lost his legs if it wasn’t for your magic he would have. Not that she would ever know, she thought it was the work of your tincture. 

You promised yourself you would never risk doing something so extreme again, it would only take a few too many questions for someone to get suspicious. She smiles at you while Simon orders some cider for you and you and Johnny find somewhere to sit. 

“What happened to you after your parents were murdered?” Johnny asks as Simon hands you a pint. You frown at the word he used. Murdered, they were murdered but you’ve never heard anyone else say it before. 

“I was in the orphanage. I was older then all the other kids so I used to help the matron of the house look after the smaller kids.” You say giving them the abridged version of how horrible you were treated. They don’t need to hear more of your sob story. “When I turned eighteen I found out a distant aunt I had never heard of died. She lived all the way up here but she left my mother everything including the house in the woods. Since my mother was dead everything defaulted to me. I left the home the next day.” 

“So that house out there was your aunts?” Johnny asks. You nod, taking another sip of cider. 

“The local kids used to tell stories about how she was an evil witch who ate children who ran off too far into the forest.” You say leaning in to whisper to Johnny. The mention of witches here so casually would get heads turning but the cider has gone straight to your head. 

“Well, they’re only partially true.” Johnny winks leaning in close, Simon sighs then clears his throat. 

“How did you know about me anyway?” You ask. They look between each other and for the first time you think you see fear flash in Johnny’s eyes. Simon looks back at you and Johnny goes to open his mouth. 

“MacTavish, Riley. What a pleasant surprise.” You hear a male voice behind you, you turn and your stomach drops. It’s the witch hunter, the same one you saw early yesterday. 

“Who’s your friend?” He asks, flashing a bright white smile at you. 

“None of your business, Graves.” Johnny tuts then sips his cider. Graves. You don’t recognize that name. He has an accent too, he must be from further south, maybe even The Capital itself. What would a witch hunter from The Capital be doing here? 

“I haven’t seen your names on the boards in a while. Is this what you’ve been doing?” A hand lands on the top of your back and you freeze up, your knuckles turning white as you grip the glass in your hand. Power pulses through you as you clench your teeth and it takes every muscle in your body not to let it out. Not here when there are too many witnesses.  

“We’ll be leaving now.” Johnny says moving to stand up.

“We just got here. Sit down Johnny.” Simon says, rising from his chair. The hand on the top of your back drops. You feel power crackle under your scalp and finger tips. You swallow hard, still feeling the hunter's presence behind you. You watch as Simon walks around the table and out of your line of sight before vanishing out of your field of view. Johnny’s foot rests against yours under the table as he flashes you a sympathetic glance. 

“You’re on the boards?” You ask, your voice is quiet. 

“Used to be.” Johnny says. You don’t want to think about the consequences of what that means. You take a long drink of your cider. Everyone knows what the bounty boards are; the way that people can keep track of which witch hunters are doing the best. Betting on witch hunters is a common pastime and not something the crown enforces as much as other types of gambling. Usually only the top ten hunters make it to the boards, hunters who have tens or even hundreds of captures under their belts. 

And the men you fucked last night are two of them. 

“H-how many?” You ask. 

“We don’t have-

“How many?” 

He sighs and takes another long drink of his cider. “One-hundred and eighty.” It feels like all the air is sucked out of your lungs. One-hundred and eighty people, killed because they were accused of witchcraft. You look up at Johnny pulling your foot away from his. You feel your heart pounding faster in your chest and tears form in your eyes. You should never have trusted them, they hunt witch hunters? Who does that, no one does that. 

“Lass.” He leans over the table closer to you. “We’re not going to hurt you.” Your eyes snap up to him and before you can stop yourself you get to your feet and throw the remainder of your cider over him. He sits back in shock as people from neighbouring tables turn to look at the commotion you're causing. You turn on your heels seeing Simon looking over with Graves who has a smug look on his face and his arms crossed over his armed to the teeth uniform. He takes a step towards you but you pick up your skirt and storm out the pub without looking back. 

___

It’s late evening when you feel the breach in your wards. 

The sun has already gone down, you wave your arm and all the candles you have lit around your cottage extinguish at once. You look out the window you’re sat under and see movement down the path leading to your front door. A second later you see the white flash of Simon’s mask. You would wear a skull mask too if you had killed one-hundred and eighty people. 

It’s not long before there is a knock at the door. You throw your hand out turning using magic to turn and lock the door. “Love? It’s us.” Johnny says. You look out the window again, you can’t quite see them at this angle. 

“Go away!” You snap before you can stop yourself. 

“It’s not safe for you to be alone.” Simon says, you scoff and move over to the door. You look out the tiny window and his golden eyes lock with yours. 

“Says who?” You snap at him. “I have wards.” He sighs and Johnny pushes past him so he can see you through the window. 

“Look, we only turned in people who were doing actual harm.” He tries to explain, you don’t want to hear it. “People who were using their magic to hurt others, elderly and children.” His eyes are wide as he talks, a knot twists in your stomach. You have no idea if you should believe them or not. 

Power hums in you again reacting to them like they’re a threat. They could have killed you plenty of times by now. They could turn you in right this second and no one would bat an eye. You would wake up in a cold cell tomorrow morning with your trial to be held within the hour then you’d be dead before the evening. You shudder at the thought. 

“It’s cold out here. Can you let us in so we can talk?” Johnny asks. You huff weighing your options for a second then unlock the door dragging it open and stepping to the side to let them in. You wave your hand to activate the candles and again to light the fire before closing and locking the door. 

“It’s pretty hot when you do that.” Johnny says and you feel heat rushing to your cheeks. The cottage starts to warm up immediately and you walk over to the kettle by the sink filling it with water and taking it over to the woodburner and place the kettle on top. 

“I’m sorry about today.” Johnny says as you brush past him, his fingers ghost your wrist and it sends goosebumps up your arm tingling with the lingering power under your skin. It’s almost like you need them, the night you had yesterday was amazing, nothing like you’ve ever experienced before and probably never will again. 

Is it just the sex though? Or is there something more? You look up into Johnny’s crystal blue eyes, you can see the sincerity behind them and regret too. You let out a long sigh and look down at your fingers brushing his. 

“What do you mean you only caught people who did actual harm?” You ask against your better judgment. Johnny looks behind you at Simon again then moves over to the kitchen table, you stay where you are. 

“There was one woman who was luring people into the forest and killing them.” Johnny says, you shake your head. “I mean it.” 

“There was a man who was using his power to seduce and exploit women.” Simon says, crossing his arms. You feel a pang in your chest, there are not that many male witches. Most of the time they keep to themselves, most people suspect women. 

“What happened to them?” You ask, you need to know. You need to hear them say it. 

“They were all killed.” Johnny says, his eyes drop making them look darker than normal. The kettle hisses and you turn to look at it as you shiver at the thought of over one hundred people being killed because of their actions. Even if they were trying to do good, what right do they have to be judge, jury and executioner? You shake the thought away as you bring the screaming kettle over to the table.

Simon grabs some cups off the shelf and a box of tea. You pour water into all the cups and sigh looking between them both. You wouldn’t be doing this if you didn’t trust them. 

“What made you change your mind and hunt the hunters instead?” You ask. 

“You can’t control your power, only your actions.” Simon says. 

“One night we were chasing a witch when some hunters jumped us wanting her instead.” Johnny says. 

“Johnny took an arrow to his chest. The witch we were chasing doubled back and saved him.” Simon continues pulling one of the cups of tea towards him. You look at Johnny, you don’t remember seeing a scar on his chest but his body is littered with them. You could have easily missed it. 

“She was captured and killed anyway. The hunters were ruthless even as we tried to beg for her life. That was when we decided to protect rather than condemn people. Don’t get me wrong, we still turn in the odd witch. The ones who do horrible things.” Johnny explains sipping his tea. 

“So that's how you justify all the killing? You’re only killing people who do harm and protect people like…me?” 

“Somewhat.” Simon says drily and pulls the bottom of his mask up. You watch as he brings his cup to his flushed lips, the scars on each side accentuated in the low light of your cottage. You fight every urge in your body to ask him about them. When his eyes meet yours you look away embarrassed to be caught staring.

“Why me?” You ask looking back at Johnny. 

“Why not you?” 

“Is it because of that hunter?” You think back to the good looking blonde haired hunter in the pub. 

“He’s especially annoying, and good at his job too. He’s been the one to beat on the boards. I wouldn’t be surprised if he came sniffing around here.” Johnny says. 

“You can’t protect me forever.” You say feeling drained. One day they will have to leave and you’ll have to take care of yourself. To your surprise Johnny’s hand reaches across the table and lands on yours, you don’t flinch, instead you enjoy the warmth. 

“We’ll protect you for as long as you need.” 

“Until Graves is gone at least.” Simon says. 

“And. Well, do you have sex with every witch you protect?” You ask lowering your gaze as heat rushes to your cheeks Johnny squeezes your hand. 

“No, you’re special.” He smiles, it just makes more heat rise through your whole body. 

“I don’t have any money to pay you.” You say suddenly feeling guilty. 

“Thats okay, we’re not in this for the money. Besides, we have years worth of bounty coin stashed away.” Johnny says. You nod, and look between them both. Simon leans forward in his chair putting his cup down. 

“Other than the wards, what other protections do you have?” He asks. You open your mouth but you’re not sure what to say. 

“I usually keep a knife by my bed.” You shrug. 

“Do you know how to use it?” He asks and even under the mask you can see him raise an eyebrow. You shake your head, he nods and moves to get up. “I’ll teach you in the morning. Johnny will stay tonight, I’ll keep watch.” 

“Really, I have strong wards.” You say getting up too, you don’t want to inconvenience them. 

“You need to be well rested for tomorrow.” He says straight up ignoring you and heading for the front door. You sit back down as he leaves, and look over at Johnny who just smiles. 

“I’m sorry for throwing my drink at you.” You say. 

“It’s okay, not the worst thing a witch has done to me. Pretty tame in comparison.” He chuckles, you dread to think what that means so just sip on your tea instead. 

“Will Simon be out there all night?” You ask. “He could stay inside.” 

“I think he likes it.” Johnny shrugs, draining his cup. “Somthing about the silence and getting back to nature I think.” You nod and look over to the front door.

“C’mon, we should get some sleep. Simon will have you busy tomorrow.” He looks around your home. “I’ll take the floor." 

“No, please the bed is big enough for both of us.” You say standing up as you remember being wrapped in their safe and warm embrace last night. 

“Well, if you insist.” He looks relieved and nods going over to sit on the side of the bed and pull his boots off. You watch him as he throws his coat over the back of a chair and lays down in the bed leaving you plenty of room to shuffle in next to him. You wave your hand to extinguish the candles leaving only the woodburner lit and crawl into bed. 

A few seconds later his arms wrap around you from behind. 

“Is this okay?” He asks in a low voice. 

“Yes.” You reply with a smile, feeling his strong arms rest over your stomach. You look out the window at the tops of the trees swaying in the wind and wonder where Simon is keeping watch. 

“Johnny?” You ask after a few minutes of silence. He hums. “How many have you saved?” 

“More. More than we ever harmed. Not everyone who is accused of being a witch is one. The king doesn’t care for justice, not really. He just sees statistics.” Johnny sighs squeezing you. “We’ll always save more than we hurt.” 

“Promise?” You ask him knowing he doesn’t have to agree. 

You feel him smile as he presses a kiss on the top of your head. “Promise.” 

Banners by Plum98

[moody-alcoholic]

As Above, So Below

Chapter 21 - Crash Into Me

John Price x Reader. WC: 6.4k CW: +18 content MDNI. Sex, smut, PiV sex, oral (f receiving), blood, light angst, hurt/comfort.

Previous parts - Masterlist - next AO3

You need to move. You know that much. 

If they called in an airstrike they could still be close to make sure you didn’t make it out which means they could already know it’s failed. They could be watching you right now. 

“We can walk and talk.” John says and everyone nods and starts to move with John in the lead. You look back through the trees and you can just about make out where the house used to be. The smell of smoke and gas in the air, you all walk to the edge of the forest before John stops. 

“We’ll be spotted in the fields.” Simon says stating the obvious. You’re not sure what to say that will be helpful, you look at Johnny who seems to have lost his cheery demeanour. 

“We’ll stick to the forests where we can and move South.” John says pointing over at another forest across the rolling fields. You want to reach out and hold John’s hand, you want some kind of comfort from him but now is not the time. 

“We should go to Edinburgh.” Kyle says. 

“That’s the plan but we’ll have to take the long way down to avoid the checkpoints. We need to be ghosts.” John says and you look at Simon. “Okay, let's go.”

You walk the whole day and you can only just make out Edinburgh in the distance as the sun starts to set. No one has any gear, everyone is dressed in casual clothes only Kyle managed to grab a bag of miscellaneous gear before you all fled. John said you should rest for now which you’re grateful for since your legs are starting to ache. You’re worried about John too, he hasn’t complained but he’s only just recovered from his shot.

You make it over to what looks like an abandoned barn with high temporary metal gates around it with keep out signs. Johnny breaks through and you all make it into the damp and cold barn as the sun sets over the horizon. The place smells of manure and you assume it once held cows or sheep. You’re still looking around when John comes over to you and his arm is around your back. 

“Tired?” He asks. You nod but you don’t want to complain. He leads you over to what looks like some old bails of hay and inspects it. 

“It’s not much but you should try and get some sleep.” He says, you run your hand over the hay, at least it’s dry and it looks fine. Maybe a farmer was just storing these here. 

“I don’t think I can sleep. Johnny just lost his house. People are after us.” You blurt the first things that come into your head. John wraps his arms around you and pulls you against his chest. It takes you a second but then you let out a long breath and relaxed against him wrapping your arms around him. 

“It’s going to be okay. We’ll hide from the people chasing us, we’re good at that. And Johnny will get over the house. We’re alive and that’s what matters.” John says. You nod as he breaks from the hug, his hands resting on the top of your arms. You want to kiss him, you want him to keep holding you but you know he has things to do. You can’t take up all his time. 

You just want to hear him say he loves you again. 

“I’ll get some rest.” You say with a long breath and look back at the pile of hay, “or I’ll try.” 

“I’ll sort out watches then join you.” 

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He smiles. 

You managed to get comfy on the hay quicker than you expected, your arm propped up under your head as you lay there trying to listen to the distant voices of them talking. All that fills your ears though are the sounds of the creatures coming out for the night. When you hear John come over to you, you move leaving room for him to lay next to you. He wraps his arms around you from behind and presses a kiss into the back of your head.

“I haven’t forgotten.” He whispers and your stomach tenses. “I’m going to get you out of here.” 

“I can fight with you.” You whisper back. 

“I know, but I need you to be safe. I love you and if I can protect you I will.” You want to turn in his arms and tell him you can take care of yourself and make him let you stay. You know you’re not going to be convincing him of anything tonight. You let yourself relax against him, warming yourself against his body. 

“I love you too.” Is all you manage to say. He presses a kiss on the top of your head and you can hear the smile in his voice. 

“I know.” 

___

The next morning Johnny wakes you from your restless sleep. John is gone and you can see the sun peaking through the cracks in the rundown barn. You’re surprised no one came after you. He offers you a plastic mug and you take it out of his hands. 

“It’s not much.” You bring it up to your nose smelling a weak tea. You’re not even sure where they got the hot water from. You look around and see that John and Simon are missing. 

“Where’s John?” You ask sipping on the tea, you don’t care how horrible it tastes you let the hot water warm you. 

“They’re out scouting the area, then we’ll make a plan on where to go next.” Johnny explains. You look over at Kyle who’s standing by one of the windows.

“I’m sorry about your house.” You say offering him the mug back, he sighs then takes a sip. You wonder if John’s lips have been on the mug. You push the thought away, now is not the time. 

“Thanks, we lost a lot of good gear.” He says with a forced smile. You feel like this is somehow your fault. 

“John and Simon should be back soon.” He says. 

“They’re back!” Kyle calls as if on cue and you hear the engine of a car. Johnny smiles at you and you get up to follow him rolling the stiffness out your shoulders. John and Simon walk in and John looks happy.

“We go back to England and stock up. We need to contact Laswell and gear up.” John says. They already seem to have a plan and have commandeered a car. 

“We need a laptop.” Kyle says. “Or a phone.”

“Won’t be hard to find one and we should get some coffee.” Johnny suggests.

“It’s not a good idea to stick around here especially in a stolen car.” Simon says. 

“So we get across the border first.” John says. Everyone nods in agreement. John looks around everyone but his eyes linger on yours. “Okay, let's move.” 

…

After the first stop John takes over to drive and you get in the front with him. It’s around midday and you can hear the soft snoring of the others in the back seats while you drive down the mostly deserted motorway. 

“How are you feeling?” He asks quietly. You turn to look at him, you’re not sure what to say. It’s them who have lost everything. 

“I’m okay.” You say. He forces a smile before turning back to the road. You look into the back and see everyone with their heads leaned against Kyle who drew the short straw sitting in the middle seat. They even managed to find a blanket, you don’t know if they’re actually asleep or faking but at least one of them is snoring. 

“You’ve been quiet.” He says, you feel heat rush to your cheeks. You’re not sure what to say. 

“You had a plan, I didn’t have anything to add. The last contact you had I killed.” You say. 

“Well, he was ripping us off anyway.” John shrugs his grip and tightens on the wheel. You look back out at the cracking tarmac roads. Most of the major motorways were blocked during the fighting to stop people being able to travel so freely. Another way the republic controlled people. Now the roads need some loving care but it’s not exactly like it’s high on the republic's agenda. 

“Can we trust this contact?” You ask.

“No. We can’t trust anyone.” He sighs, your stomach sinks a little it’s not like you have anything you can defend yourself with if things go wrong and things could go very wrong. 

“June 19th.” You smile. He looks at you, cocking his head and frowning. “My birthday.” You clarify. 

“August 5th.” He replies and you smile. When you turn to look back out the window this time you watch as a truck travels down the other side of the motorway. You yawn as it passes. 

“You should sleep.” He says, you turn to look back at him. 

“I don’t mind keeping you company.” You smile. 

“Okay then, tell me something else about you.” He says. Your smile fades as he says it. You’re not sure what you know about yourself. 

“I think.” You start as a tingling rises in your head. “I used to work with The Kestral. I knew her as Ruth.” You recount the story of the memories that have filled your mind about how you were working on a hospital ward and how you were captured and processed. 

You talk about the prison and the other little things you remember. It doesn’t seem all that interesting but John listens intently to everything you say. Even when you’re recounting is off and the memories fade he’s patient with you as you try your best to remember. When the sun starts to set you finally start to drift off to sleep. 

When John stops to switch with Simon you end up in the back between Kyle and John who rests one of his hands on your leg and you lean against him falling asleep. 

___

You feel on edge as Simon parks up outside the warehouse. It’s night time now, and everyone feels on edge. 

“We split up, Soap and Ghost go around the back. Find a place you can watch us from. Me and Gaz will go in and do the deal.” John says. 

“What do you want me to do?” You ask. John turns to you and smiles. 

“Stay here, you’ll be our get away driver.” 

“You can drive right?” Kyle asks. 

“I can drive.” You say with anger in your tone. “I can do more than just drive.” 

“I know, but we need to keep this tight. He knows us, he might freak if we introduce someone new.” 

“I thought you said you couldn’t trust him.” You try not to snap at him. 

“We can’t but we know him and he knows us.” 

“We need a signal in case things go wrong.” Simon says, suddenly all you can think about is everything going wrong. 

“The usual.” John shrugs. 

“John, you were just shot in the head.” You say trying to find any excuse to go with him. You see him hesitate before nodding at Simon. 

“I’ll be okay.” John smiles. You swallow again and they all pile out the car. And you follow them opening the front door. John walks around the car and you feel his arm slip around your waist. You turn to look up at him, his body is shielding you from the view of the others. 

“Promise me, if we don’t come out before 9 you’ll run. If anyone other than us comes out you go.” 

“John-“

“No. That’s an order. If things go wrong you leave.” He says dipping his head and looking over his eyelashes at you. His gorgeous eyes will make you agree to anything, even your own demise. 

“I’m not one of your sergeants.” You say then sigh. “I promise.” He smiles and presses a kiss on your forehead. 

“We’ll be back soon.” He promises his hand lingering on you for as long as it can before he walks away. 

It feels like you’ve been waiting for hours when you see them all come out the main doors. Johnny and Simon have packs thrown over their backs and John is smiling with a new vest and AR strapped across his chest. 

You breathe a sigh of relief and start the engine. John opens the driver's door and gestures for you to jump out. 

“I can drive.” You tell him as he takes the AR off his shoulder. 

“I know, but I know where we’re going.” He smiles, you nod and he passes his weapon over to Johnny as you get out the seat. 

“Where are we going?” You ask as you get into the back with Johnny and Kyle. 

John looks at you in the rear view mirror. “Somewhere safe.” 

___

The flat you make it to is in the heart of Manchester. It’s late and you stop off at a chip shop to get something to eat. You can’t tell if this is risky or not but they all seem to be at ease so you try to follow their lead and relax. It doesn’t go well and you find yourself looking over your shoulder at every little noise you don’t recognise. 

The city is busy with night life, it’s the weekend and clubs are open so there’s groups of 20 somethings braving the frigid northern weather to have a good time. Big cities like Manchester managed to survive with little much changing when the new government came into power. The flat is nice, spacious with room for all of you. You don’t eat much but everyone seems so much more at ease. 

When John excuses himself to bed you follow.  

When you walk into the bedroom John is already sitting on the bed pulling his boots off. He looks up at you and smiles, you turn closing the door behind you then walk over to him. He doesn’t stand up, just spreads his legs letting you walk between them. His hands land on your waist and you lace your fingers through the hair on the back of his head. 

“Hey.” He says, his voice low. You can see him relaxing, letting go of the stress of the day and letting out a long breath as his shoulders dip. You press a kiss on the top of his head breathing him in. He smells of sweat and smoke, he needs a shower but you don’t care. Pain prickles at the base of your skull but you ignore it.

You feel his hands work up your mid section and he stops just under your breasts. 

“Who’s flat is this?” You ask as you look back down at him, your hands moving to cup his face, you smile as your fingers feel the familiar scratch of his beard. You try to relax too, you know you’re safe here, for now.

“A friend.” He says. 

“Is it safe?” You ask looking over at the curtains covering the window on the open window. A breeze flows in and you can hear the sounds of the weekend night life.

“It’s safe.” He says gently squeezing you. You smile at him then lean down to kiss him. Your hands drop down to his chest, you lean into him further humming into his mouth as he lets you in so you can press your tongue against his. He tastes amazing, his tongue is soft and his fingers dig into your skin. The kiss becomes more feverish as the pain in your head rises. 

You ignore it and press yourself closer to him, you wish you could feel more of him. Your mouth doesn’t stop as your hands work their way down his chest to the hem of his shirt. He lets you take it off over his head only breaking the kiss for a few seconds. 

You can’t keep your lips off him though enjoying the way his mouth feels locked with yours. It feels so natural, it feels so right. You forget he still plans on making you go to Norway and you don’t want to worry about that right now. You kiss him deeper as his hands travel back up your top. 

This is the most he’s touched you, his hands are soft on the skin of your midsection as he slowly makes his way up to your breasts. Do you want this? You almost can’t believe this is happening. You want this, you need him. You need him so bad it’s almost like your heart aches. You smile breaking from the kiss and taking your own top off over your head exposing your chest to him. 

His eyes land on your breasts, your nipples already hard and ready for his mouth or fingers you don’t care you just want him to touch you. His hands run up your side then he cups them both running his thumbs over your nipples. You both let out a shaky breath. You need this. You both do. 

“You’re beautiful.” He says. You smile and reach over to stroke his cheek. 

“You too.” You say, you want more. You need more, thankfully he doesn’t keep you waiting he stands up and you keep your eyes on him. His chest is pressed against yours and you can feel it rise and fall. He kisses you again turning you so your back is against the bed then gently pushes you to sit. You obey, still looking up at him as his pupils dilate. 

“Do you want this?” He asks in a low voice, there’s more of a seriousness in his tone. You nod. 

“Please, John. Let's have this moment together.” You say. He drops to his knees between your legs. Your heart stops at the sight of him.

“It’s going to be longer than a moment. I’ve been dreaming about this for months.” 

“Months?” You tease, smiling. He nods and starts on the laces of your shoes. You let him undress you as he presses kisses on your skin as it’s exposed to him. When he finally gets to your underwear you feel heat rush to your face. You raise your hips up so he can pull them off. You watch as utter admiration washes over his face and you sit there all exposed for him. 

“Beautiful.” He says pressing another kiss on your inner thigh. Then another, his hands rap around to grip your arse and he squeezes the soft flesh. His eyes flick up to you. “Lay back.” He encourages. You nod and lay back on the bed as he continues to press kisses across the soft skin of your thighs. 

You spread your legs wider for him as he inches closer and closer to your clit. You’re almost holding your breath in anticipation, you need him, every part of him and you’re not waiting for long when you feel his breath between your legs then his tongue pressing through your folds locking onto your clit. 

“Oh fuck.” You moan arching your back at the electric contact, his tongue is soft as he presses long strokes on your clit. He moans, sending shivers down your spine. 

“Fuck, love.” John says between strokes. “You’re bloody perfect.” 

“Thanks.” You can barely form the words and he chuckles before pressing his tongue back onto your clit. You moan for him, your breathing becomes faster as your heart speeds up in your chest. 

“Can I give you a finger?” He asks. 

“Please.” You’re almost begging. He chuckles again and you whine at the lack of contact before you feel one of his fingers drag down from your clit to your entrance before he presses it inside of you. You feel like you’re seeing stars as the sharp stabbing pain in your head gets worse but you don’t care and try your best to ignore it. 

You focus on John’s finger curling up inside you hitting that oh-so-soft spot. You moan for him as he drives you closer to the edge and you start to squirm on the bed. Which makes John chuckle as he adds a second finger stretching you open, everything about it feels amazing. 

His tongue is still pressing tight circles around your clit in time with the thrust of his fingers. It feels like there’s a tight coil in your stomach that he’s winding tighter. You clench your thighs and John hums almost sending you over the edge and you bite down on the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from coming. 

“Let go, love.” He hums, you nod and with one more stroke of his tongue you let go. It’s like the coil snaps and pleasure throbs through you as you come. Your body shakes as you cry out for him, your hands gripping his hair as he works you through the orgasm. You clench around his fingers as he drags them out, his mouth continuing to play with your clit. 

When your body starts to twitch from over stimulation he takes his mouth off you with an audible pop. You prop yourself up so you can look down at him. He looks up at you and smiles, you smile back and he stands up. You sit up not really sure what to say. He kisses you again with his puffy wet lips and you can taste yourself on him. 

When he breaks from the kiss you watch as he goes for the belt on his trousers then drops them with his boxers. You watch in awe as he grips his cock, he’s big, you’re not sure what you were expecting but you watch as he pulls his foreskin back revealing the red hot tip. It makes your mouth fill with saliva, you swallow as he comes over to the bed.

You look up at him and he smiles, reaching down between your legs with his free hand. 

“Do you want to keep going?” He asks, his fingers brushing your clit and it sends a shiver up your spine. You nod not trusting your mouth with the sharp throbbing pain in your head. He smiles and you shuffle in the bed so your head lands on the pillows and John climbs over you, his cock pressing between your thighs. 

You spread your legs for him and he slides one of his hands up your inner thigh pressing two fingers against your entrance. At least you don’t have to worry about birth control. You push the thought away, you don’t want to think about the republic and what they’ve done to you. Not now, now is about something good. Something you can control. 

You smile as you look up at John, your hands lazily running over your nipples. He seems to enjoy watching you do that and leans down to kiss you again. When he breaks from his kiss it’s almost like you can see a hunger in his eyes and you feel the head of his cock replace his fingers. 

“Ready?” He asks. You nod, pausing your hands and holding your breath as he presses into you. You fight to arch your back at the stretch of his cock, he’s bigger than other men you’ve been with and it takes him another long thrust to be seated inside of you. You let out a long shaky breath and John’s gaze snaps down to you. 

“Sorry.” John says stilling as he pants pressing his forehead against yours. “Too much?”

“No.” You breathe looking up in his eyes. “You’re never too much.” He smiles and rocks his hips making you moan again. You know you can’t be too loud but you want nothing more than to scream his name as his cock presses into you deeper with each thrust. 

“John, John…” His name is like a blessing on your lips as his body presses close to yours. You can feel the beat of his rapid heart as he speeds up his thrusts. You bite the inside of your cheek so you don’t cry out as loud but John kisses you drinking you up. You’re grateful for his mouth on yours stifling the moans, you angle your hips up slightly letting John hit an even deeper spot inside of you. 

You’ve had sex before but nothing like this, John’s taking his time, his movements are measured and sure. Every part of your body throbs, each stroke of his cock sends waves of pleasure through you like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. John knows what he’s doing, god does he know what he’s doing.

You look up in his eyes, his mouth is parted slightly as he pants with each thrust, you smile at him and he smiles back. His eyes are glazed over and you wrap your arms around his neck pressing your fingers through his thick hair. You love his hair, every part of it on his perfect body. 

Your eyes drink him up as his movements become more desperate, more needy. You can feel yourself climbing to the edge, your heart feels like it’s about to break out your chest and your head feels like it’s about to explode but you ignore it focusing on John and his stunning blue eyes looking down at you. You love his eyes, they remind you of the ocean. Deep and blue, they shine in the light and make his iris’ look like bright sapphires. 

“Love.” He breathes before pressing another sloppy kiss against your lips. 

“John.” His name barely leaves your mouth before you’re clenching around him. He moans, loud this time and dips his head. He stills panting and you watch as the muscles on his arms and abdomen tense. You chuckle which doesn’t help as he sighs again and he looks  at you, you tip your head to the side. 

“Don’t want it to end.” He says. Your hand comes around to cup his cheek and he turns his head to kiss your palm. 

“It never has to end. I’m not planning on going anywhere.” You say ignoring the fact he wants you to leave for Norway. You know you can see the pain in his eyes. You bend your knees for him and he grips your hips, angling them up as he kneels up between your legs. Your hands drop and you grip the bedding by your side. He slowly starts to rock his hips again and this new angle he has you at makes a shudder run through your body.

One of your hands goes to your clit and you start to rub little circles as his hands press into the soft skin around your hips. He feels even better than before and you throw your head back feeling him chase his own release. You moan his name, it’s like honey rolling off your tongue. You squeeze your eyes closed the closer you get to the edge. Suddenly you don’t care if anyone is listening. This feels too good. Everything about this is too good, too perfect. 

“John.” Your next call comes as a warning, you clench around him again but this time he doesn’t stop. 

“Let go. Come with me, love.” You snap your eyes open with the permission and let your body go. You feel it deep in your core, like a vibration rising deep from your stomach and through your body. His thrusts are long and needy, each one finished with an exquisite moan from deep in his throat. Then everything erupts. Your heart pounds, you hold your breath feeling the pain in your head surge and you squeeze your eyes closed again. 

He rocks his hips once more then stills inside you, you feel his cock throb as he releases inside of you. You lay there in pure post orgasm bliss. Your whole body pulsing with waves of pleasure. You don’t open your eyes until you feel him leaning over to kiss you. 

“Fuck, love. That-“ He chuckles and kisses you again instead of finishing his sentence. When he breaks from the kiss you stare up at him, his eyes filled with water, his lips and cheeks pink and puffy. You want to just grab his face and kiss him again. 

“You’re bleeding.” He says suddenly, his eyes going wide shattering the perfect moment. You look down between you both confused. You don’t feel any pain, other than the throbbing in your head. You let out a breath as John reaches over to grab something on the bedside table and before you can turn to look he presses a tissue under your nose. 

Then you can smell the blood and it makes your body go ridged. He flicks on a light getting off you and you sit up the sudden feeling of pleasure pulsing through you has been replaced with a rising dread. You can smell the iron deep in your nose as John sits on the side of the bed, his hands steadying you while you hold the tissue. 

“How’s your head?” He asks, you look up and meet his eye line. You don’t want to ruin this so you sigh and pull the tissue away to see fresh red blood. You swallow hard and put the tissue back up to your nose. 

“The back of my head. It always hurts when I’m with you.” You admit, he sighs and presses his forehead quickly to yours. 

“I’m sorry.” He says it like he thinks he can fix this. 

“It’s okay. I just need a second.” He moves his head from yours but keeps his hands on you and his body close to yours. You’re not sure what to do so you pinch the bridge of your nose with your other hand. All you know is not to tip your head back. You force a smile at him, you hate that you’ve ruined the mood. 

You’re both still naked, you look down his body watching his chest rise and fall. His eyes are still locked with your face with concern as he rubs your back.

“I thought we got everything.” He says more to himself than anything. 

“John, it’s okay. I’m okay.” You say reaching out to touch his arm. He sighs and you move the tissue again looking down at the fresh blood. John reaches over and gets more tissue for you. 

“It’s not okay.” He sighs still rubbing your back and you shiver the room suddenly feeling cold. He reaches over, pulling the bedding up and over your shoulders while you continue to hold your nose. The stabbing pain in your head is dulled now and there’s a ringing in your ears but you can still feel the bliss from the amazing sex you just had. You look up at him, his eyes look sad as he looks over you. 

“That was amazing. Really it’s worth any pain I’m in.” You say trying to lighten the mood. He smiles slightly and kisses the top of your head. 

“I don’t ever want you to be in pain.” He says, his free hand comes off your knee to brush your cheek. “Stay here, I’ll get you some water.” He stands and you suddenly miss the heat of his hands on you. He dresses quickly before leaving the room. You wait for him periodically checking the tissue, the bleeding seems to be slowing down now. 

He comes back and hands you the glass of water before going over to the wardrobe in the room. 

“I don’t think you can use their clothes.” You say. 

“It’s a safe-house. Anything in here is free to use.” He comes back with a clean pair of underwear and some pyjamas. You sip the water then move the tissue flaring your nostrils. There is no pain, just the overwhelming scent of blood. When you stand up you get instantly light headed and wobble. John’s hands are on you in a second as he lowers you down onto the bed. 

“We’ll go to the hospital tomorrow.” He says, your head snaps up to him. 

“We can’t, it’ll blow your cover.” You say pleading with him. 

“Maybe but something is seriously wrong. We need to get you checked out.” He says. 

“I’m fine.” You say dismissing him. And putting the bloodied tissue paper on the bedside table. 

“Has this ever happened before?” He asks. 

“Have I ever had sex then a nose bleed? No.” You say with a raised eyebrow. He sighs and offers you the water again and you take a few sips just to appease him. You can tell he’s lost and not sure what to do. You hand the water back to him. 

“We could have missed something.” He says quietly. You stand up with no dizziness this time and close the distance between him. 

“John, I’m fine.” John sighs and looks over your still naked body. You feel heat rush to your cheeks and you turn around to pick up the pyjamas. He helps you dress even though you’re capable of doing it yourself. You let him do what he needs to do to make himself feel better while you remind him you feel okay. 

“You promise me if anything changes you’ll let me know.” He asks as you lay down in the bed and he slips in next to you. You sigh, you don’t want to lie to him but you know for a fact that it’s safer if you never have to go to a hospital, and now The Kestrel is gone there really is nowhere to go.

“I love you so much. I would never do anything that could put your life in danger.” 

“I will put my life in danger for you.” There is no room for argument in his tone. 

“You will not. I love you and I don’t want to lose you.” You reach out for him as tears sting your eyes. You don’t want him to get hurt, you don’t want anything to happen to him, not now, not ever. Your hand travels up his neck to his face. “I don’t care what you say you will do, you have a right to live too. You deserve to live. Let's just live, why does it have to be so hard?” The last word comes out as a sob. He grabs your hand with his and turns his face to kiss your palm. 

“We chose a dangerous life.” 

“I didn’t. I didn’t choose any of this but I choose you. John, I choose you.” You say as tears roll down your cheeks. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you against his chest. You feel more tears come so you squeeze your eyes closed trying to ignore them. You breathe him in, his familiar scent fills your nose and you can hear his heart beating in his chest. It just makes you yearn for him more. 

You need him in every sense of the world, you can’t lose him, you’ll die before you lose him. 

“I love you too. I will spend the rest of my life trying to protect you, to prove how much you mean to me...” He trails off and you open your eyes. 

“But the freedom of the UK means more.” You say trying not to sound bitter about it. He sighs, it was a low blow and you immediately feel bad and you push off his chest so you can look at him. His hands come to your face and his thumbs brush your tears away. 

“I imagine myself in a nice house, somewhere in the countryside. Retired and happy with grandkids who visit on weekends and the love of my life by my side.” It makes you smile as he recounts his dream. “But I can only do that if our country is free.” 

“It’s not your responsibility.” You sigh, he smiles slightly. 

“I know, but someone has to do it.” There’s a long silence between you both, you’re not sure what to say. You were the one who convinced him to stay yesterday. You know you were right, he would never be happy if he ran. He would never be able to relax watching the country continue to fall. Or maybe it is about the glory, being known as the team that saved the country. He would never settle and neither would you. 

“Grandkids?” You ask him, trying to lighten the mood. He smiles. 

“You’d be a good mother.” You feel heat rushing to your face and he smiles. Suddenly a surge of sadness rushes through you. 

“I can’t have kids.” You can’t even give him that. His thumb strokes your cheek. 

“Well, we have plenty of time to talk about it.” You sigh and hear someone shriek outside then laughter follows. 

“I will make sure you’re safe.” He says. “Whatever it takes.” 

“Same.” You reply with a smile, he smiles back and kisses you long and slow. His tongue is gentle and he takes his time exploring your mouth for what feels like the first time. When he pulls away you press your head against his chest listening to his heart beat. 

“I love you.” You say as you close your eyes. His hand rubs your arm and he presses a kiss on the top of your head. 

“I love you too. We’ll get through this.”

“Whatever it takes.” You repeat his words. You hear the smile in his voice as he lets out a long breath. 

“Whatever it takes.”

Banners by saradika-graphics

[moody-alcoholic]

Poly 141 

I’ve been working on a long personal project so my writing has been all but non-existent but I can’t stop thinking about 141 taking care of Simon after a particularly shit job. 

Before there even was a 141 it was always John who would supply his own dose of comfort for Simon when Jobs went bad, but since Johnny and Kyle Joined the mix it slowly but surely became a group effort. 

It had been a shit job, the intel was wrong. Civilians were involved and they took casualties. John could see the signs on Simon the moment they were pulled into debrief with the brass. He was fidgety, his eyes flicking between the general and John as they justified their actions. His responses to questions were curt and filled with agitation. John kept flicking his eyes at him, tipping his head upwards. 

‘Keep it together Riley, it'll be over soon.’ John promises.

Johnny is the second to catch on, he notices how stiff Simon becomes. How unnatural he moves taking his gear off and throwing it into the back of the truck. The friendly pat on the shoulder almost kicks in Simon’s fight or flight. 

“We did it, LT.” Johnny chimes. Simon just hums, pulling his earpiece out and disconnecting his radio. Johnny keeps his smile though asking if he needs a hand before dealing with his own gear. Simon’s distant, he needs something to ground him. Johnny almost reaches out to lace his fingers with Simon before deciding against it. There are too many people around here, it would just make Simon even more uncomfortable.

When they get back to the barracks after John had finished his final meeting the air feels so thick with tension Kyle swears he could cut it with a knife. They already know the drill, it’s like a rehearsed play and they all have parts to do. Johnny and Kyle glance at each other before leaving the car in silence so Simon and John can talk. 

“It’s not your fault.” John says, still gripping the steering wheel. 

“She was just a kid.” Simon says after a few moments of silence not even looking at John. John lets out a breath and turns to look at him. He can see the moisture in his eyes even through the mask. Simon removed the skull but has kept the balaclava.

“Intel was fucked.” John says. 

“Then we shouldn’t have gone in.” Simon snaps. John doesn’t say it wouldn’t have made a difference because Simon knows. John sits in silence watching him, looking for any kind of change in his demeanor. He can already see the shake in his hands. He reaches over resting a hand on his thigh. Simon finally looks over at him. 

“It’s not your fault.” John repeats pleading with him. 

Simon nods. 

When they make it into the barracks the place has already been prepared. Johnny comes over to Simon with the same jolly attitude. “We’ve got the kettle going. Kyle ordered chinese.” Johnny says reaching out for Simon’s arm and rubbing it. Johnny feels him stiffen and he can see the hollow look in his gaze. “How about a shower?” Simon nods slowly and looks over at their shared bathroom. Johnny smiles and walks with him over to the door keeping the conversation light. 

When Simon emerges from the bathroom he’s still wearing a mask. 

John is making tea while Johnny and Kyle debate over what to watch, the tension has lifted somewhat but John knows it’s not over quite yet. Simon walks over to John who smiles at him pouring milk into the four mugs. 

“Captain-” 

“I don’t need any kind of report tonight.” John interrupts him. 

“I know-” 

“No. Not tonight lieutenant.” John hands him his mug, extra sweet, extra milky. Simon nods but John knows it’s still on his mind. “C’mon, food’ll be here soon.” John gestures over at the sofa picking up the other three mugs. Simon follows him, Johnny is sat on the floor with his back to the sofa, remote in hand as he flicks through the channels till he lands on a football game. 

Kyle accepts his mug patting the pillows at the centre of the sofa for Simon to sit down. John sits down last on the other side of Simon. He’s proud of them all, they did well today even with the civilian casualties. But the day is not over yet. Later they’ll move all the beds into one room so they can all sleep together. They’ll spend the night holding each other just a little closer tonight. 

It takes a while for Simon to settle. He doesn’t touch his tea, John expects that. Johnny slowly moves on the floor eventually ending up between Simon’s legs as he talks about the game. Simon’s hand lands on Johnny’s head, his fingers lacing through his hair, combing it like he’s scared it’ll vanish. John takes Simon’s mug out his hand leaning in to whisper in his ear. 

“It’s okay, Ghost. You can take the mask off now. You’re safe here.” He doesn’t expect a reply from him, instead moving away to place the mug on the coffee table. It takes another few minutes of Kyle’s hand working up the back of Simon’s neck before he reaches up and pulls the mask off. No one makes a big deal out of it Simon just turns to look at John who nods approvingly. 

Simon relaxes even more, letting Kyle rest his head on his shoulder and wrap his arm around his. John smiles as their fingers lace and Johnny. It’s over, everyone is safe including Simon. John smiles stretching and wrapping his arm around the back of the sofa and around Simon’s shoulders. 

John lets himself enjoy the presence of the people he cares about, the people he loves and presses a kiss on Simon’s cheek. He doesn’t move keeping his attention on Johnny and his enthusiastic play-by-play of the game. 

It’s okay, it’s going to be okay. It’s always okay when he has the people he loves around. They’ll take it easy tomorrow too, John will shoulder all the angry generals and people requesting them so they can work on their reports together with each other to help carry the burden. John was always told being in the military can be lonely but he never thought he would find the people he would spend the rest of his life protecting. The people he loves. 

“Thank you.” Simon finally whispers long after the chinese has been eaten and the game is over. Johnny and Kyle are drifting asleep and John’s not far behind them. He turns to look at Simon and smiles. 

“Any time, Simon. Any time.” 

[moody-alcoholic]

As Above, So Below

Chapter 20 - Blood

John Price x Reader. WC: 4.3k CW: Implied torture, blood, angst, blood, hurt/comfort, use of weapons.

Previous parts - Masterlist - next AO3

Shots are still ringing out when you roll off John. Kyle hooks his arms under John’s armpits and drags him into the house. This can’t be happening, this can’t be real. 

“Move!” Simon orders pulling you to your feet, his weapon still pointed across the field towards the treeline. You stumble to your feet as you’re pushed into the house and the door is slammed behind you before more shots ring out. You look over at Kyle pressing gauze against John’s temple.

You’re not paying attention to what he’s saying as he shouts orders at you. You drop to your knees by John. Pulse, does he have a pulse? Is he breathing? You reach out to press your fingers into his neck. You let out a sob of relief when you feel a pulse. Hands grip your shoulders, almost shaking you back to reality. 

“Look at me.” Kyle says, your head snaps to him. He feels up your arms and around your head quickly. “Stay with him.” He leaves you to head back outside the front door. You can still hear shots ringing out, it seems like no one is hitting each other though. You hold bandages to John’s head. 

You try to examine the wound but there is too much blood. Maybe the shot went straight through to the brain and he’s already gone. You watch his chest rise and fall, he’s alive and he’s breathing which has to mean something. You keep pressing more bandages to stop the bleeding. What happens now? Who attacked you and wanted to kill John? It has to be the republic, it has to be. 

“Soap, draw the curtains! Gaz get on Price.” Simon says as they all pile back into the house. A window smashes and you throw your body over John’s head. You squeeze your eyes closed trying not to scream as the shots from someone's gun return fire. It’s so loud it borders on deafening. 

A hand lands on your back, you don’t move until the firing stops. You look up and see Kyle kneeling on the other side of John. He reaches over to take over pressing bandages on John’s head. 

“He’s breathing.” You say, you can hear the shake in your own voice. 

“Good.” Kyle says moving the bandages so you see blood spill down his head. You almost want to press your hands on to stop it but Kyle just pulls another pouch off his vest. You pick it up and open it seeing a mix of different adhesive bandages, you find the biggest one and hold it out for Kyle.

“Shouldn’t we stop the bleeding first?” You ask. Coagulants, something to cause clotting. You’re not sure where the info is coming from but you know it’s right. You look over the bandages you’ve been using strewn around his head. 

“Keep pressure.” Kyle says, nodding for you to take over. You press your hand on the bandages and Kyle gets up.

“C’mon John, wake up.” You whisper at him, if he wakes up you know he’ll be okay. You’re almost willing it, praying to whatever God will listen for him to open his eyes but it doesn’t happen. You're not paying attention to whatever people are saying around you, you just want him to wake up.

Things happen in a blur, you reach down for John’s hand and move out the way as Simon and Kyle come back with more bandages and something liquid to clean the wound. You’re not even thinking about infection right now. You need to see how deep it is, even when they squirt what you assume is saline onto the wound you can’t tell if you can see the skull or not. 

Once the windows are all covered Simon and Kyle carry John into the bedroom you’ve been sharing and place him in the bed. He looks so pale, almost like the life has been sucked out of him. They leave you alone telling you to call if anything changes. You nod absently at them even Johnny’s words of support or encouragement go unheard. 

You don’t leave his side or let go of his hand. He did this for you, he never left your side and you’re never going to leave his. You lay in the bed with your hand on his chest, you feel each beat of his heart and his chest rise and fall. 

“You’re not dying today.” You whisper in his ear. “Not now after everything.” You feel tears well up in your eyes as you stroke his cheek with your thumb. “Come back to me, John.” 

“I love you and I can’t do this without you.” The admission feels like a weight lifted off your shoulders. Tears roll down your cheeks. “Please.” You fight for sleep as long as you can. They don’t come back in to check on you but you hear them talking. You don’t want to sleep in case you miss him waking up but as you listen to the steady beat of John's heart you find yourself drifting off.

…

You’re in a prison. Or at least what you think is a prison. There are bars on the windows and thick metal doors with massive locks and spy holes in them. 

“Nurse!” Someone shouts grabbing your attention. You turn to see a prison guard beckoning you. You nod walking over to him and he gestures you into a cell. There you see John tied up and bleeding from his head. He’s slumped forward in the chair, you take your pen light off your pocket and reach for his face holding it up. 

Your heart drops when you see his swollen and bruised features, his eyes are closed and a sliver of blood and saliva drips from his mouth. 

“Untie him.” You order turning to look at the guard. You need to hold his head up, he could obstruct his airway and suffocate. You need him laid down so you can examine him properly. The guard hesitates. “He could die if you don’t.” 

He tuts looking around before letting go of the weapon strapped around his chest and reaches for the bunch of keys on his hip. He walks over behind John and unties his hands, John’s dead weight slumps against you and you press your hands on his shoulders. 

“Okay, easy John.” You say in his ear. The solder works on the ankle restraints next then helps you lower him down flat onto the floor. “You need to get the doctor.” 

“I can’t leave you alone with him.” He says, you scoff annoyed. You don’t have time for this, this kid clearly must be new, you look up at him he does look young. 

“You have a radio. Call for him!” You snap. He sighs then walks out the cell as you press your fingers into John’s neck. There’s no pulse. You feel sick, this can’t be happening. How long did they take to contact you? How long did they take to call for help? How long has he not been breathing for? 

You don’t have time to worry, you push all the thoughts to the side and press your hands over the centre of his chest. You can’t believe you’re doing this, again. You look down at his face, he’s not going to die. Not today. Not if you have anything to do about it. 

“The doctor- What the hell?!” The guard shouts as he returns. 

“How long did you wait to call for help?” 

“I-“ He hesitates again, you see how scared he looks, this is his fault. This is all his fault. “I thought he was just sleeping. They didn’t tell me what to do.” 

“Go!” You snap at him, your breathing is turning to pants now as you keep a steady place pressing on John’s chest trying as hard as you can to keep his heart pumping. “Go find help!” 

He nods and leaves the cell. You look down at John’s face again and stop pressing on his chest and lean down to listen for breathing and feel for a pulse. 

Nothing. 

“Not today.” You hiss at him and go back to pressing on his chest. “Not today.”

Your arms are aching by the time the doctor and the other nurse show up. They work around you expertly as you lift your hands so they can attach leads and shock pads to his chest. You watch the machine beep to life then stop CPR so it can get a reading. 

Nothing. 

No heartbeat, nothing, asystole. They left him for too long in his cell to die. You look down at his battered and bruised face. His lips have a slight blue hue to them. They made him suffer then they left him to die in pain and alone. This can’t be the end, no way this is over. Against your better judgment you start CPR again ignoring the doctor’s orders to stop. 

It’s only when you’re pulled off his body kicking and screaming that you realise how compromised you are. You see it in the nurse and the doctor too, you can’t tell if their sympathetic glances are for the life you’ve just lost or the fact that yours is now over. 

You look down at John, he didn’t deserve it, no one deserves this but he should be alive. You failed him, you failed to help him escape and this is all your fault. 

…

A hand lands on your shoulder, you wake in a panic. You rolled away from John and look up to see Johnny standing over you. You turn over seeing John’s eyes still closed. You shuffle back to him and place your hand on his chest, you feel its steady rise and fall and his heart beating evenly. He’s still alive, you breathe out a sigh of relief, he’s alive. 

“You can go and get something to eat.” Johnny says. “I can watch him.”

“I’m fine.” You say. You don’t want to leave his side not for a second, you rest your head against his chest. You listen to his heart beat. If something was seriously wrong you would know. You have to believe he’s okay. 

Johnny doesn’t push you and he smiles sadly at you before leaving the room. You close your eyes listening to John’s breathing, his steady breaths on the back of your head reminding you he’s alive. Your dream has you shaken up, you couldn’t save him no matter what you did, you couldn’t save him. 

You turn to look up at him, instead deciding to rest your head next to his. You lace your fingers through his hair, your fingers brush over the bandages you know will need changing soon, hopefully you’ll get a better look at the wound. 

“I’ve got you John.” You whisper in his ear. “I promise I won’t leave. No matter what, I'm going to be here for you.” 

The click of the door makes you tense and you don’t move though, a light is turned on as you trail your hand down his chest resting your arm over his stomach. Kyle walks around to the other side of the bed and puts a first aid kit down on the bedside table. 

“I need to change the bandages and check the wound.” He says, You nod and sit up reaching down for John’s hand lacing your fingers with his. Kyle works in silence which you appreciate because you’re not in the mood for talking or them asking how you are. Not that they care, you’re not their priority. 

When he finally moves John's head so he can remove the old bandages you’re holding your breath. The wound doesn’t look as bad, or maybe you’re just gas-lighting yourself because it’s not bleeding as much. Kyle cleans the wound with a pre-prepared saline flush and dabs around the wound with tissue. 

“How does it look?” he asks you, you look up at him confused. “You used to be a nurse.” You look back down at the wound. It’s clean and not bleeding much if at all. The bullet grazed his temple, he was so unbelievably lucky, you don’t want to admit how close he actually came to death. He is so lucky whoever shot missed by a hair. 

“It looks good.” You say. Why isn’t he waking up though? It’s understandable that the bullet knocked him out but he’s been unconscious for a good few hours at least. There could be swelling on his brain, there could have been bleeding. It could already be too late. You squeeze his hand, he has to be okay. 

“What happens now?” You ask as Kyle expertly replaces the bandages. 

“We wait.” He says scrunching the trash in his hand. You want to do more, clearly there is something wrong if he hasn’t woken up yet. You look back at his face, at least it looks like some colour has come back. There’s a knock at the door and you both turn to look as Simon stands in the doorway. 

“Kyle, we’ve received demands.” Simon says. You swallow as his eyes land on you. “You should come too.” It’s an order. 

You nod looking back at John one more time and squeezing his hand before following Kyle out the room. 

___

“Me?” You ask with a gasp. 

“They want you and Sarah.” Simon says, passing you the note. You read it over, it simply demands you and Sarah to be returned to them unharmed then they will leave. You find yourself looking out a crack in the curtains for someone but all you can see is the treeline covering this side of the house. 

“Okay.” You’re not sure what to say. Obviously if you go they will be safe, Sarah was right you are important to them, you’re an investment. They’re looking at you like they want you to make a decision. 

“Okay. I’ll go. If it saves John.” You choke on the words.

“Look, we have time to talk.” Kyle says. You look at him, him and Johnny look apprehensive. You wish you could see Simon’s face under his mask. 

“John needs help, you need to get him out of here I’m going.” No one says anything, you look around them all. Simon crosses his arms Johnny and Kyle share a glance. “I’m going.” It’s final.  

“No you’re not.” You all turn when you hear John. He’s leaning against the door frame, your breath hitches in your throat and you walk over to him. He looks down at you with pain in his eyes. You reach out resting one of your hands on his hip in an attempt to steady him. 

“John.” You breathe, he’s alive and awake. “You need to lay down.” 

“I’m fine.” He says straightening up and walking past you, you follow behind him watching, he seems to be fine other than what you can imagine is a splitting headache. “Let me see.” Simon hands him the note. 

“You should sit down.” Simon says, John walks over to the sofa and you stand next to him. 

“We give them Sarah, not her.” John gives the note back to Simon. 

“John, you’re in no position to be giving orders.” Simon says. 

“I’m fine.” John says, you grit your teeth as he sways and you guide him down to the sofa.

“Water.” You snap, Johnny moves to the kitchen. You wrap one of your hands around his back pressing the back of your other hand on his forehead. You’re not even sure what you’re doing, it just feels right. He doesn’t feel warm, he turns to look at you and grabs your hand pulling it to his chest. 

“You’re not going back to them.”

“But, John-”

“No. That’s final.” He looks up at Simon. “That’s an order.” Before Simon can say anything Johnny comes with the glass of water breaking some of the tension. John accepts the water and drinks some down, he lets your hand go and you take the glass from him and place it on the coffee table. 

“We don’t even know if they will keep their end of the bargain. If we give them both of you we have no protection, they could get what they wanted and take us out.” Kyle says, John nods. 

“We send them back terms, Sarah or nothing.” John says. 

“They’ll kill us.” You gasp. 

“Maybe.” John says. You open your mouth to protest. 

“How about we let you talk. We have time, right Si?” Johnny says, you snap up to look at him. 

“We have time.” Simon says flatly. 

“Okay, well, we’ll talk to Sarah. She might be able to give us some insight on what the republic might be thinking.” Kyle says. Simon doesn’t seem to like that idea but he lets out a long breath then turns heading for the room they’re keeping Sarah. You turn to look at John who leans back on the sofa. 

You both look at each other, you force a smile. Considering the situation you’re in you’re glad he’s alive, you reach over and pick up one of his hands, he immediately laces his fingers with yours and gives you a reassuring squeeze. You hear a door close and you swallow mustering as much courage as you can. 

“If they want me that means they don’t want to kill me.” You say, he sighs. 

“We don’t know that.” 

“But there’s a possibility that they’ll leave. You can flee.” 

“No. It’s out of the question.” He turns on the sofa cupping one of your hands in his, his blue eyes bore straight into you. “I’m not- I can’t lose you again. If you give yourself up I might never see you again.” You sigh and reach up with your other hand to cup his face. 

“But you’ll be safe.” 

“We’ll never be safe. It’s the nature of the job.” You tut and drop your hand. 

“It’s not a job, John. We’re talking about your life.” You’re pleading with him. “I can take care of myself.” He swallows and his hand runs up the inside of your arm, over the cuts from Sarah’s torture. If you go back you will most likely go through that again. 

“If it saves-“ You don’t get a chance to finish your sentence he leans in and presses his lips to yours. You immediately relax and let him in, parting your lips and let him press his tongue into your mouth. You instantly forget what you were talking about and why you feel such a strong pain in your chest. 

It’s almost like kissing him transports you to a different space or mindset, a place where it’s just you and him, there is no republic. No risk of death, just you and him, his hands on your waist, his fingers pressing into the soft flesh. You find yourself pressing your chest against his, this kiss becomes feverish. 

You finally breathe as he breaks and you look into his glossed eyes. 

“There.” He says quietly. “That looks right there is why I can never live without you.” 

“Let me save you.” You say to him, brushing your lips against his but he doesn’t kiss you again. 

“It’s not your job to save me.” He says. 

“Maybe that’s the reason I’m here. To save you so you can save the country.” It’s manipulative yes but you need to win this fight because there is no way on earth you’re letting John die. Not now, not ever. 

“Then I don’t want to save the country.” He says. 

“You don’t mean that.” You sigh.

“I do.” He cups your face in his hands. “I will give this all up for you. I love you so much, I meant it when I said it. I’m not going to lose you again.” Tears prickle in your eyes, you don’t want him to give this all up for you. 

“What about the UK?” You say as his hands slowly drop from your face, they rest around your neck, his thumbs brush your jaw and his eyes land on your lips again. 

“I don’t know.” He sounds defeated. “We’ve been fighting this for so long. I’m tired.”  

“John, if you give up this fight, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. I don’t want to be the reason for that.” You say, he’s a soldier, an officer. He can’t give up the fight like this, you won’t let him. “What about the people dying everyday for our freedom.” 

He sighs, a long tired sigh. You feel your heart breaking for him. His hands travel down your body, you look at the bandage on his head. He’s already been so close to death and this is probably not the first time. 

“I’ve always thought about what would happen if all hope seemed lost. We have a way out, a boat ready to take us to Norway.” He smiles. “There is lots of snow in Norway.” You don’t know what to say to him. The fact that he’s already thought about an escape plan, they’ve thought about what they would do if all hope is lost. But even now when they’re surrounded by the enemy they’re still talking about staying, not running. 

You look over John’s shoulder to the room Sarah is in. You lean in and kiss him again, long and slow this time pressing your tongue into his mouth and pushing him so he's laid back against the sofa. 

“John, I love you too.” You sigh at the admission. It’s true that’s why you can’t let him do this. “But you can’t leave. You and your team are seemingly the biggest threat the republic has. This is your fight, you have to see it through.” 

“On one condition.” He says. You nod, right now you’ll agree to everything. “You leave.”

“No.” 

“We’ll take you to the boat and you’ll go to Norway.” 

“No, no way. I’m not leaving you.” Panic overwhelms you and you reach out to grip his wrists. 

“You said you loved me.” He smiles, it catches you off guard and you feel heat rushing to your face. “If you love me you’ll do this for me.” You don’t know what to say, you just want to kiss him again. Instead you throw yourself against him, wrapping your arms around him so he can’t see the tears escaping your eyes. 

“Okay.” You say trying not to let your voice break. “Okay.” You repeat, you feel him relax then you lay in his arms until a door opens and you sit up keeping your hands on each other as Simon, Johnny and Kyle walk over to you. 

“What did she say?” John asks. 

“Whatever we’re planning on doing, we do it quickly. They won’t wait around forever.” Simon says, that actually sounds like solid advice. 

“Good, let's send our terms.” John says. You nod as well as everyone goes but you just stay with John. You want to spend as much time as you can with him, especially since you have your own plan. One where no matter what John survives. Even if that means losing you. 

___

“They agreed? Just like that?” You ask shocked. 

“Seems so.” Simon says, passing John the paper that was returned. You can’t tell if you feel relieved that the republic doesn’t want you any more or offended. You don’t have much time to think about it though as John stands up off the table and goes over to the door. 

“Let's do this.” He gestures at the room they’re keeping Sarah in. You watch as they go in and a few seconds later appear with Sarah, her hands are still tied behind her back as she's walked over to the kitchen table where you’re all standing. 

“So. This is it.” She says stopping. There’s a wicked smile on her face you want to punch off her. Simon tries to move her forward but you put your hand up to stop him and your eyes betray you looking over at John.

“You failed. How does it feel?” You ask. She laughs. 

“We’ll see.” She laughs. You swallow hard and cross your arms. 

“I won’t be your assassin.” You snap at her. 

“No, you’re more than that. You always were.” She says, for a second you think you can hear sympathy in her voice and she walks over to the front door with Simon following. John comes to stand over next to you and rests his hand gently on the small of your back. You watch as Simon opens the door and steps out the way, you would look out the windows but they’ve closed all the curtains.

“Good luck.” You call to her. She turns and looks over her shoulder at you. 

“You too.” The sliver of a smile creeps back on her lips then she walks out the door. You feel sick, of course she got the last word. Simon starts to come back over to the table. You feel better knowing she’s not in the building anymore but she’s free, she’s going back to her underground lab to make more assassins like you. 

“Why didn’t they want me?” You ask. 

“Who knows, just be glad they didn’t.” Johnny scoffs sitting down in one of the chairs. 

“It feels too easy.” Kyle says. “They have us surrounded, she can’t be that important.” 

“Clearly she is.” Simon says, it feels like a little stab to the heart which isn’t helped when his eyes linger on you. You’re not even sure what you’re supposed to do now, your plan was to sneak out in the middle of the night and hand yourself over to them. Now you don’t know what’s going to happen and seemingly neither do they. 

Kyle’s right, it was too easy. 

The laptop suddenly starts beeping. Johnny sighs and pulls it over to him.

“Fuck! Missile strike incoming!” Johnny calls getting up. You don’t have time to think John has already grabbed your wrist and is pulling you through the house and out the front door with everyone else following behind. You run as fast as you can but John is faster, pulling you along. Your chest burns as you make it to the forest edge. You stumble but John keeps pulling you, you hear something break through the pounding of your heart in your ears and hear a swoosh travel over you. 

The unmissable sound of a plane then an explosion from behind you’re pulled to the ground and John throws his body over your head and back. You squeeze your eyes closed hearing more explosions and rubble fall against the trees. 

You could have been dead. You could have died if the laptop had not warned you would be dead. You’re definitely not as important as you thought.  

“You okay?”John asks, getting off you, you nod sitting up. His hands cup up to cup your face pulling you up to look at him. He looks around you quickly. 

“I’m okay.” You reply, he nods letting go and helping you to your feet. You can smell something burning and look behind you to see Johnny getting up too. 

“Soap, Gaz, Ghost?” 

“Solid.” Johnny says. 

“Fine.” Kyle replies and helps Simon up who was the furthest behind. Simon nods, they’re all safe. You all made it out. Your body pulses and you feel your bullet wound throb. Johnny looks pale, he’s just lost his house. 

“Wha- What do we do now?” Kyle asks, you look through the forest and see a burning crater where the house once stood as bright as the low evening sky. You turn to John, he looks at you then back towards the others. They’ve lost everything, you’ve lost everything. 

He sighs, for the first time you see the first break in his demeanour. “I don’t know.”

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