MOON-TIDE99 @moontide99 - Tumblr Blog

You: I can't believe I did that, put that decision on you. I never knew and I never caught on. Can you believe that your thwarting of my stupidity just made me fall more hopelessly in love with you? Me: Why is this thing between us so intoxicatingly toxic? Anyway, you should hold me at some point You: Hold you? Me: Please, I'm disappearing. I'm going going going gone. I don't know why I'm still here but you, you make me feel something. And I'm so scared that if you go away... Me: I just want you in the outskirts of my reality. Right there, but completely out of reach. Safe. Yet unknown. You: Like a can of worms forever unopened. Me: Yes.

feral-ballad

Forugh Farrokhzad, tr. by Hasan Javadi & Susan Sallée, from Another Birth: Selected Poems of Forugh Farrokhzad; "Window"

[Text ID: "I realized I must / I must / I must / ... love madly"]

Him: Have I made things... worse? Me: Do they feel that way to you? Him: It feels like you were trying to shut the door on me and I made all the accepting gestures like one is supposed to... but in fact all I did was follow you down the hall, and together we opened another room in that abandoned house. We're both in that room now, looking at each other. Me: It was always fucking going to be you. Even when I hated you, despised you. Thought you less than. Even when I didn't care about you at all and went so long without even thinking about you. Him: I shouldn't have said what I said. Me: You can't hide behind denial anymore, it's all out in the open now. That's what we're both feeling. This vulnerability. My failure to deny my own part in things is in itself, as I'm sure you know, a confirmation. Him: You've been irresistible to me since the moment I laid eyes on you Me: It's always been you. Him: I'm going to do something I regret and not even care, just from being around you. That's what you do to me. I would throw everything away. Me: I have nothing. Just my loneliness that needs to be abated. Him: I want to serve you. That's all I want to do.