IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!

Say, mirror mirror on the wall - Who's the prettiest of them all?

[whisplings]

[moralebreath-blog]

hostile first encounters

"The fuck are you looking at?"

"Can you not look at me like that?"

"Did you just grab my ass? Seriously?"

"That was the worst pickup line I've ever heard."

"Go back to the sewer you crawled out of, creep."

"Stop checking me out. It's gross."

"This is my good suit/dress/blouse! Do you have to be so clumsy?"

"This is the worst blind date I've ever been on."

"Well, mark this as my first and last blind date."

"We could be having sex right now if you stop running your mouth."

"Did you really think you could pick up someone in an outfit like that?"

"Leave me alone."

"That's it. I'm calling the cops."

"Fuck you too! Asshole."

"You just tried to hit me with your car/bike!"

"Do you ever get your customers' orders right or are you just trying to ruin my meal?"

"This is a very important meeting, and you are blowing it."

"Are you really going to just stare at me after I used my best pickup line on you?"

"You could shut up and buy me a drink."

"Why are you such a snob?"

"Oh, so you have daddy issues?"

"Just stop talking."

"You are making a fool of yourself."

"Are you always this awkward?"

[demonicwords-inactive]

get it out

[80sanime]

[oopsiewoopsie123]

⨳ — REACTIONS FOR BEING STABBED;

send one for my muse's reaction!

“What the fuck, man?” “Alright, that’s fair.” “Not again…” “Do you want this back, or can I keep it?” “I live free of shame.” “Worst assassination ever.” “I’ll still shame you.” “That’s kinky.” “Thanks.” “Infamy! Infamy! They’ve all got it in for me!” “I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.” “Haven’t been penetrated this deep since ‘06.” “Et tu, [Name]?” “Yeah, well, jokes on you! I’m keeping this! That’s right. A free sword for me.” “Harder, daddy.” “I’m not a tyrant.” “Jokes on you, getting stabbed is my kink.” “Careful, don’t lose your arm in there.” “Curse your sudden, but inevitable betrayal!” “For fuck’s sake, this was my favorite shirt!” “At least buy me dinner first!” “At least stab me in the back! God, you’re a fucking amateur.” “Why though?” “The last guy that stabbed me became my wife/husband.” “I didn’t agree to this.” “No, no, no! You did it all wrong. You’re supposed to stab my heart, not my ass!” “God, I didn’t think I’d lose my first time this way…"  “Sic semper tyrannis?” "Maybe use something else than a plastic knife next time.”

[muse-with-fuse]

Llamas with Hats sentence starters (pt. 1)

“There’s a dead human in our house!” “Oh, hey, how did you get here?” “Me? Hey- I didn’t do this.” “Explain what happened!” “I’ve never seen him before in my life!” “Why did you kill this person!” “I do not kill people- that is, that is my least favorite thing to do.” “Tell me exactly what you were doing before i got home.” “So I was upstairs, I was, ah,uh sitting in my room, reading a book, and this guy walked in…” “…So I went up to him, and I stabbed him thirty-seven ties in the chest!” “Dude, that kills people!” “Oh, wow, haha, I didn’t know that would kill him.” “How could you not know that it would kill him?!” “Yeah, I’m in the wrong here. I suck.” “What happened to his hands…? Why are they missing?” “I ah, kind of cooked them up… and ate them!” “Look, I was hungry, and when you crave for something, well,” “My stomach was making the rumblies…. that only ____ could satisfy.” “What is wrong with you?” “What on Earth was all that?!” “I’m not sure what you’re trying to say.” “You sunk an entire cruise ship!” “Are you sure that was me? I think I would’ve remembered doing something like that.” “I SAW you fire a harpoon into the captain’s face!” “That sounds dangerous.” “You were shoving children off the side of the ship!” “That must have been horrifying to watch.” “Then you started making out with the ice sculptures!” “Thank God the children were not there to see it.” “Why is the floor all red and sticky?” “Would you believe it’s not blood on the floor? That it’s strawberry milkshake? Melted gumdrops? Some of God’s Tears?” “Tell me the truth!” “It was the lovely elderly couple from room 2B.” “I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” “They were taking all the crescent rolls.” “I will not apologize for art.” “Where is everyone else?” “Whoa, you won the prize! I didn’t even notice that!” “Looking at the trajectory of the moon and sun, the rest of the people are probably at the bottom of the ocean. I put holes in the lifeboats.” “Okay, okay, I have a problem, I have a seriously problem.” “You are just terrible today.” “Shh, do you hear that? It’s the sound of forgiveness.” “That’s the sound of people drowning, you idiot.” “Ah yes, the sound of forgiveness: screaming and then silence.”

[honto-desuka]

惡の華 (Aku no Hana)

[fullcravings]

White Mocha Milkshakes

[rpmemeries]

❝30 texts to send to my muse:❞ | Sentence Starter

Warning(s): Alcohol

[ text ]: I woke up to a half empty bottle of cider on my dresser. I drank it and have no regrets. Morning.

[ text ]: I’d ask why there’s pictures of Kayne West all over my bedroom floor but I don’t actually want an answer at this point.

[ text ]: I can hear your life falling apart through the ceiling.  Shut up.

[ text ]: I just googled ‘Rarest Pepe’ and I’m crying.

[ text ]: I just brought the Spice Girls Greatest Hits.

[ text ]: I’ve had nothing to do all day so I’ve been learning the lyrics to ‘Trap Queen’.

[ text ]: Be proud of drunk me. I managed to only eat HALF of a large pizza this time.

[ text ]: We all got really drunk and communally agreed Bucky Barnes was a ‘cute little button babe’.

[ text ]: What a massive egotistical penis.

[ text ]: Does today require people clothes or can I just wear my pyjamas?

[ text ]: I’m certain he heard me shout and LOUDLY ‘nap time comes before pants time’.

[ text ]: I’m not responding to this because I have died. I’m dead. Dead people don’t answer texts.

[ text ]: I think I’m going to retire and become a hermit.

[ text ]: I want Lucky Charms.

[ text ]: I’m not surprised he didn’t show up. He didn’t arrange it.

[ text ]: I miss hugging you and smelling your hair (in a non-weird way!).

[ text ]: Why are you saved in my phone as ‘Prison Wife’?

[ text ]: I was in the middle of a check-up and the doctor quoted Jurrassic Park at me.

[ text ]: I replaced your apple juice with whiskey six months ago.

[ text ]: Why did you send me pictures of yourself dressed in all of my coats?

[ text ]: I’ve watched so much Peppa Pig I am reaching my point of insanity.

[ text ]: What a complete ball of Human-shaped trash.

[ text ]: You need to stop shouting about Communism in public places.

[ text ]: I was just legitimately asked if Human was a form of meat.

[ text ]: The Devil has a British accent.

[ text ]: You kept making train noises all night. Are you okay?

[ text ]: I just brought some muscle cream and I smell like a herb garden.

[ text ]: I think our neighbour may have gone rabid.

[ text ]: I realise we were joking at the time but are you considering a stripping career?

[ text ]: I don’t want to go out today. I’d rather wear wet socks all day.

[parakeet]

[auliicraval]

iconic vines sentence meme .

​❛ suck a motherfucking dick . ❜

​❛ i thought you were bae , turns out you were just fam . ❜

​❛ i thought you were american . ❜

​❛ is that a weed !? ❜

​❛ i won’t hesitate bitch ! ❜

​❛ chipotle is my life . ❜

​❛ turn off the flash you fucking moron ! ❜

​❛ kiss my ass bitch motherfucker ! ❜

​❛ is that a police !? ❜

​❛ i’m calling the weed ! ❜

​❛ done & done , let me pull the table out of my ass . ❜

​❛ merry crisis ! ❜

​❛ i don’t have enough money for chicken nugget . ❜

​❛ i’m ready to die anytime , any place , for any reason . ❜

​❛ hey guys , we’re unboxing this cheese stick today . ❜

​❛ i aint never gonna stop loving you , bitch .  ❜

​❛ this is the comedy police ! that joke’s too funny ! ❜

​❛ i’m not going back to jail ! ❜

​❛ what the fuck ? $599 for a fucking playground ? that looks like a piece of shit . ❜

​❛ FUCK YOUR TEA ! ❜

​❛ the feminists are taking over ! ❜

​❛ I GOT TWO FREE TACOS ! ❜

​❛ and they were roommates ! ❜

​❛ i’m not your friend ! ❜

​❛ there’s no saving this sweet piece of ass . ❜

​❛ hi welcome to chili’s ! ❜

​❛ yeah tip of the penis to you too . ❜

​❛ this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you ! ❜

​❛ welcome to bible study , we’re all children of jesus . ❜

​❛ aw fuck , i can’t believe you’ve done this . ❜

​❛ YO HOLY SHIT HE DEAD ! ❜

​❛ this is the dollar store , how good can it be ? ❜

​❛ step back , i think i’m gonna vomit ! ❜

​❛ oh sorry , i didn’t see ya there , i was too busy blocking out the haters . ❜

​❛ shut up ! your mother buys you mega blocks instead of legos ! ❜

​❛ I’LL TAKE A NAP HERE ! ❜

​❛ i hate to do this but i specifically asked for no mustard and you just brought me a bottle of mustard on a plate . ❜

​❛ how are we gonna win if we fucking die ? ❜

​❛ why the fuck would i say printer ? ❜

​❛ the benefits of killing him would be that i’d be pushed way less . ❜

​❛ but it pays off, because i dont even have time to think about dying . ❜

[memelovingbot]

carry on my wayward knife-wielding monkey

[marchbehindthesea-deactivated20]

[naiveasf]

[oopsiewoopsie123]

JJBA OP lyric starters

Hiroaki “TOMMY” Tominaga - Sono Chi no Sadame

“Stir the surface of light and darkness.”

“The sun leads those who seek the path of glory.”

“May fortune shine on the future you bring!”

Coda - BLOODY STREAM 

“The love you inherit is called fate.”

“An overflowing power, the mark of a friend’s voice, spreads out your pain. Now live for the feelings you shared.”

“Your will will lead to the rising dawn, sparkling with noble elegance.”

“Let the ripple of destiny in your heart resonate.”

Jin Hashimoto - STAND PROUD

“And now these gathering stardusts summoned in the awakening of a century-old catastrophe.”

“Let these fists fly free, with this hallowed vision, stand proud.”

“Undaunted by the confines of time, they are the ones to whom the sunlight shines fervently bright.”

“The chase is on, dead set to search for that one man.”

JO☆STARS - Sono Chi No Kioku End Of THE WORLD

“The call of destiny…echoes once again.”

“The power of the gods has been assembled.”

“Where they are headed lies a fate yet unknown.”

THE DU -  Crazy Noisy Bizarre Town

“The void in my heart changed with the path I chose.”

“There’s no limit to each new encounter - everything so ordinarily bizarre.”

“The time we have flies flowing free as we bicker the day away dancing all the while in this crazy, noisy, bizarre town.”

“There’s a warping bow telling of bewitching fortune.”

batta - chase

“My most precious things seem about to be stolen.” 

“My peaceful moments have already collapsed.”

“I’ll chase you anywhere, I’ll chase you anytime.”

“Victory is decided by your tenacity.”

Karen Aoki & Daisuke Hasegawa - Great Days

“A sea breeze emerges from that tunnel- heading for that tower.”

“We’re drawn to one another, losing our way down narrow lanes.”

“Let the voice of love take you higher!”

“Let the joy of love give you an answer.”

[littlelovelymemes]

✰  —  —  *  MORE POPULAR TEXT POST STARTERS

‘  good night. sleep tight. don’t let the bed bugs bite. tonight. imma fight. till we see the sunlight. tik tok. on the clock. but the party don’t stop.  ’ ‘  every interaction with a man is a combination TED Talk, valedictorian speech, personal training session, and getting grounded by your dad  ’ ‘  just a small dumb bitch…. living in a lonely ditch  ’ ‘  if anyone wants me ill be in the dirt thinking abt love  ’ ‘  why is being alive so expensive. i’m not even having a good time  ’ ‘  YOU’RE A THOT: a Tender Heartwarming Open-minded Treasure  ’ ‘  physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll  ’ ‘  so much is going on!! it’s too much!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!! i’m tired leave me alone!!  ’ ‘  imagine being a bear. no bills. you can scratch your back on a tree whenever you want. seasonal weight gain is necessary. no judgement for sleeping three months at a time. itt would be beary great.  ’ ‘  shout out. just in general. im just shouting  ’ ‘  what if mike was short for micycle  ’ ‘  u can still be thug as hell even if you cry everyday right  ’ ‘  cause of death: didn’t get attention for five minutes  ’ ‘  walk into the club like wait nevermind can we go home  ’ ‘  it’s all fun and gay until you get a crush on her  ’ ‘  my house is haunted because i live here  ’ ‘  you’re not asking for too much you’re just asking the wrong person  ’ ‘  i don’t trust people who don’t like 80s pop music like what are you? straight? grow up  ’ ‘  it’s ok. i mean it’s not ok, but it’s ok.  ’ ‘  do u ever look back at the ppl you used to be friends with and think dear fricken god im glad u are past tense  ’ ‘  i can’t believe i used to think people my age were adults  ’ ‘  reverse-evolution. we just go back to being silent amoeba. free of the chains of consciousness. swimming   ’ ‘  yeah.. i don’t get it. just don’t understand any of this. like i just….. don’t get it  ’ ‘  stop breaking your own heart by exaggerating your place in other people’s lives  ’ ‘  give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day, teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you  ’ ‘  @ people who think i’m attractive: thanks for having low standards  ’ ‘  struggling to keep your rolled up sleeves looking nice is gay culture  ’ ‘  *eats 14 packs of scooby doo fruit flavored gummy snacks* i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good  ’ ‘  wouldn’t it be cool to just like not feel nervous about everything all the time  ’ ‘  you can’t find me in someone else  ’ ‘  i forget everything and i just think that’s really sexy of me  ’ ‘  mid life crisis ? no no, mid DAY crisis. happens every day  ’ ‘  i look at you and see wedding bells and children’s names. i’m so fucking sorry i see a future in you and you can’t even see tomorrow in me.  ’ ‘  it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed  ’ ‘  imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 a minute  ’ ‘  i don’t know what’s going on but it’s a lot  ’ ‘  sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone  ’ ‘  you BET i’m listening to 80’s love songs every night until valentine’s  ’ ‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep  ’ ‘  do the fbi agents have their own fbi agents watching them…  ’ ‘  sometimes i catch myself being salty and i’m like damn????? take a nap?????  ’ ‘  im rly just.. rly tired u know. just so tired  ’ ‘  i love people responding to their pets’ noises with ‘i know’  ’ ‘  if you can’t handle me at my worst then we have something in common because neither can i  ’ ‘  i listened to green day once and now i’m gay and hate the government  ’ ‘  idk why anyone would be interested in me romantically i literally watch netflix, complain, and wear the same four to five outfits with different mixes and matches all the time  ’ ‘  i’m like rlly in the mood 4 uhh…….  being paid lots and lots of money  ’ ‘  i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say. i’m not a fan  ’ ‘  say what you want about millennials but at least we don’t lick our fingers to turn a page  ’ ‘  ah yes…the killing curse…fre shavaca do  ’ ‘  self care is actually getting in fights with randoms in dark alleys  ’ ‘  im permanently emotionally damaged but it’s chill, i’m chill  ’ ‘  hearing the girl you like calling you baby in a soft voice is like having your heart fall down 7 flights of stairs and exploding  ’ ‘  i don’t wanna sound soft but a bitch could use a hug  ’ ‘  i need my space unless you’re the right person then don’t go anywhere  ’ ‘  first recorded attack by AI on humankind was when i asked my home assistant to play some music i might like and she put on katy perry  ’ ‘  momma didn’t raise a quitter but she did raise a fool and it turns out those two things are a terrible combination  ’ ‘  are cute dates and rough sex too much to ask for  ’ ‘  your sketchers don’t even light up so i don’t really think i can trust you as a wingman tonight  ’ ‘  it’s march and like, you know what? that’s fucked up. literally, it was march this time last year too, and what’s up with that? like, a year has passed since it was last march, what the fuck ?  ’

[splattermemes-deactivated202007]

Send in “microphone”

and I’ll pick a song / lyric that represents our characters’ relationship