fruit?

Alex / he/him / ♋☀️ ♓🌙 ♏⬆️ / i thought of something funnier than((24)) / fruit ceo - terfs dni

[morbid-transmans]

[toyb0y-tboy]

take the plunge, push the needle

[florad0ra]

fun upcycle/repair from today

[tall]

[barmecidebiohazard]

Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate golf since I began to live. There are roughly 2.25 million acres of land dedicated to golfing in the United States of America. If the word 'hate' was engraved on each blade of grass in those millions of acres, it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for golf courses at this micro-instant. For golf. Hate. Hate.

[skelotan]

The cars we see briefly on the road, but never forget...

[tinymintywolf]

king of using hand sanitizer

[lleyksie]

horse shapes ✸

[thepitt-incorrect]

Javadi: why does Dr. Abbot call you babygirl?

Robby: how about we stop talking for a little while.

[dearparentheses]

Paul Evans

[sadmortician]

everybody leaves

[whitakers-intern]

nah this is amazing stunning incredibly talented !!!!!

[gretashand]

someone put this man on a psych hold

[captainjonnitkessler]

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

[batrachised]

[ciqqy]

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

[ciqqy]

[scrapsref]

[hexbugswallower]

Ants have the most badass lives of anything in the animal kingdom, life as an ant is like warhammer

[hexbugswallower]

Wake up in enormous underground cyberpunk metropolis

Venture outside with your ant buddies to forage scraps from an incomprehensible civilization of alien gods (each one several times larger than the city you've spent most of your life inside) for the glory of your GodMomEmpress

Get attacked by a platoon of soldiers from a rival megacity, they're an offshoot of your species except like twice as big (basically orks) and like 10% of them are genetically modified supersoldiers with wings

Luckily, you've been engineered from birth to spit acid so you and your antfriends successfully defeat the rival ants and their winged miniboss

Die from getting stuck on a jolly rancher