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@mord-sith-alex
My inbox is open if you have any questions!
30s, Domme, been in the lifestyle since 2012, co-leader of a local FemmeDom munch since 2021. I currently have 1 sub; pet, who I'm in a 24/7 tpe relationship with.
Favorite kink outside of power exchange is impact, specifically flogging. Currently learning fire cupping and self-tying rope.
It's business time.
Leather collar with an integrated formal necktie. For when you really want your boss to jerk you around.
Made a couple of these last year to vend at events, they were a hit with the crowds. Haven't posted them up for online sales yet, I just have this nagging feeling that I could make the design better somehow.
ok computer show me men in pain
amazing porn gif. unfortunately the caption u paired with it has made it entirely unsharable
"everyone should get more aromantic" can appeal to tumblr's sensibilities but I genuinely think everyone should also get more asexual. I don't mean everyone stop having sex, what I mean is
Sex is not essential. You can live without it. Full stop.
Not having sex isn't shameful or a sign of failure. It also doesn't make anyone boring.
You are not entitled to having sex with anybody and nobody is entitled to having sex with you.
Sex is not what makes someone an adult.
Nobody's worth is defined by how much sex they have or don't have.
Sex is not equally important to everyone.
You can have fulfilling and happy relationships without sex.
You should only have sex on your own terms, not because you feel like you owe it to someone, or because you feel like you'd be incomplete without it.
Know your boundaries around sex and be firm about them. Know how to respect other people's boundaries.
The previous point also applies when it comes to discussing sex. If someone doesn't wanna talk about it or hear about it you have to back down.
Anything can be sexual but not everything has to be sexual.
Custom collar I made for a deer friend of mine.
Custom lined collar with a lunar phase design.
I made it for someone I used to mod a minecraft server with, along with this deer antler collar that I showed off at the time. Sadly due to ✨💫🌟Circumstances🌟💫✨ that group of folks splintered apart right after I made these (weirdly, not unrelatedly), but I'm still proud of these collars. I'm still in touch with the deer from time to time though.
This lunar one was a bit of a test of tooling leather, and while I was pretty happy with how it turned out, I didn't decide to take that up as a skill to develop and integrate into my products on a regular basis. I may eventually have a project idea that's compelling enough for me to buckle down and get good at it, but not yet.
Owned.
"Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.”
It's usually attributed to Poe, but it was written by Sade Andria Zabala. (Even dead men manage to take credit for women's work :)
It's always been a favorite of mine, especially as it relates to the people I care about which, of course, includes people l've practiced kink with. Learning someone's dark needs and wants, holding them with safety and trust, is a unique kind of intimacy.
It's hard enough to admit to yourself that violence feels erotic, that degrading or being degraded is a turn-on, or that the things you touch to are less than PC, let alone to admit this to someone else. Maybe your kink is "gross" or unglamorous or strange. Maybe, like me, it doesn't align with how you want to be seen.
I find arousal and comfort in my autonomy being diminished; in being conditioned and trained to fulfill someone else's wants and needs. Like a possession. Like a slave. I crave that ownership. I always have. It's a deeply held desire, closer to instinct than fantasy. And that's really just the beginning. I struggle with it, but it is true and real, and it won't be going away. I know there are people I cannot share this part of myself with, people who would respect me less, question my values, take advantage, or never look at me the same way again. I know who those people are, and I know they will never see me fully.
I know they would not love me anyway.
That place - that knowing - is also where we keep the monsters inside us. The shame, the guilt, the fear. And it's why finding someone you can safely introduce to your monsters can feel like breathing for the first time; like a poison has been cleared. People who will hear us without judgment, honor our truths, embrace them. Someone you can show your darkest parts - kinky or not - and then get coffee with. The people who will love you anyway.
The people who will say:
Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, ever thought, ever felt, ever wanted. The shame, the guilt, the fear.
I will love you anyway. I may even love you more.
Hey friendly reminder: Don’t Ruin your life for kink
Don’t harm yourself for kink
Don’t isolate yourself for kink
Don’t put yourself into debt for kink
Don’t put yourself in danger for kink
Alot of people talk a big game about these things, but please practice safe kink practices. Negotiate saftey, boundaries, establish consent. Practice aftercare and check in and make sure people you trust know where you are. Whether you’re dominant, submissive, or switch you deserve safe fun consensual kinks.
It can become dangerous for you and/or your partner(s) really quickly if you don’t make the small effort to make it safe. Getting off is not worth it.
Don’t ruin your life for kink.
☝🏻This
this broke containment on instagram but i’m glad people are so stoked about leather history & grateful for @tslurcollective for all the work that went into this
Fat girls tied up in shibari, their soft flesh poking out between the ropes and knots.
that's it. that's the post.
Normalize asking "Hey, are your needs being met?" by either partner in a dynamic.
Normalize giving them time to think on it, days even.
Normalize giving an honest, thoughtful answer to the question.
Normalize setting aside your own needs for a moment to listen to their answer.
Normalize having a respectful, non-judgemental conversation about their answer and being comfortable reaching for compromise when needed.
Ugh I hate it when people just go "inexperienced doms are bad! Don't play with them!"
Hate to break it to you but you were new once too and you wouldn't have learned if everyone had that attitude about you.
Give newbies fucking grace, that's so not fair. Fucking reddit submissives 🙄
We don't say the same things about submissives so why do doms just get told this shit? I hate it. Its only bad for an inexperienced dom, but the sub is fine to be molded and shaped by the experience of those more experienced. It could never be the dom learning from a sub together and communicating and navigating that, it's just go learn some more and you're going to hurt the sub! Bro doms can get hurt too.
When I was 22, fresh from dropping out of college and transitioning from casual kink to serious kink, I met a submissive in her 40s, who had been in the lifestyle almost longer than I had been alive. Without any sort of judgement, she began teaching me, sponsored me in the community so I could attend classes, and let me be attached to her name and reputation as I began to build my own. Our relationship has since ended, but she remains the best teacher I’ve had the honor to learn from, and a formative part of my life.
I was very fortunate to have run into a sub just starting out with kink earlier in life so we learned together. But this was something I heard a lot starting out and always pushed back on. And a lot of it comes from subs who are experienced, who know what they're worth, and know how to play safely. I know they're just trying to protect their peace, but that's exactly the type of sub a new dom could best learn from.
We didn't always have money for classes at the local dungeon, so our knowledge was limited to what we could find online. And it was difficult being new sifting through the BS and the actually educational. Then we finally made some friends with some more experienced kinksters who were able to help us.
I learned a lot from my mentors, L and B, who were play partners (and though I'm not 100% sure, B I'm pretty sure you follow me on here, I wouldn't mind getting back in touch). L was a switch who I could best describe as a kink connoisseur. She did all the pickup play she could, took all the classes, frequented the local dungeon, helped organize a local hypno convention, and had built up a huge collection of toys to demonstrate with. They never shied away from being a teacher.
B was a mostly dom sometimes switch, he was former military and a very compassionate soul who was passionate about sadism and how to dominate effectively. Even talked me out of running away to join the military in a moment of weakness I had. If me and my sub at the time had not run into L and B I would not have the wealth of knowledge I share with y'all today.
I wouldn't have learned what healthy play and dynamics looked like without them. And these experienced folks didn't necessarily have to help us learn, but they did and because they did, there is one more dominant in the world who is not contributing to the problem.
They weren't perfect either. L actually made a huge mistake with her partner once that I've mentioned before and should probably make a dedicated post about, because it's such a crazy example of how things can go wrong in unexpected ways, but a simple safety measure they overlooked could have protected them.
But how she responded to the situation, sought out help, and took the time to put in the work and work through it was important to showing me you can make egregious mistakes and come back from them. You might not be the same person, but rehabilitation and healing are going to happen with D/s and edge play, so you need to be prepared for when it's your turn to do so. Take it in stride and face it like a responsible member of your community. And that's the attitude and resilience that I lead with to this day. Give noobies grace and space to learn.
Being into lifestyle dynamics is interesting. It's like hi this is my best friend, my personal property, and my partner for life all rolled into one little stress ball of anxiety of a person that needs snacks and spanks all the time.
Lifestyle dynamics is also crazy because "I date to own" is not a socially acceptable thing to put on a dating profile or say on a first date. You can't just Oops! All Sadism-berries your way into a D/s dynamic with a random people. You have to seek out specific communities and find someone looking for the same level of dynamic you are, but on the opposite side of the slash. And then you can start the dating ritual.
Cuervo Ambulante
Source:
https://trazoscuro.com/
