fame fucker.

sometimes dead is better . . NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART

[maximura]

[morendodifame]

joshua smiled, " you too. " he watched as kieran made their way up the path and blew out a sigh, mumbling a quiet fuck it, before climbing out of the car. he rushed up the path and took kieran's hand, then pulled them back. he seemed to hesitate for a brief moment, then pulled them into a hug, " I'm so sorry for what I did to you, and I still have the biggest crush on you. jamie's very lucky to have you. " he squeezed them, then stepped back, nodding once and turning to walk away, he just had to say it.

[moreferarum]

kieran didn't expect joshua to stop them and they didn't have much time to relax before josh pulled them back , enveloping them into a hug . they didn't want to soften because of the hug or because of what he said . it was easier to keep a distance between them -- to keep joshua at a distance . kieran watched when he stepped back and turned to walk away . they didn't think much of it as they stepped forward this time , reaching for josh and pulling him back before their hands raised to cup his jaw , coaxing him into a kiss .

[morendodifame]

josh shook his head, sighing softly, " I don't think I'd have done it at all, to be honest, but I'm glad I got some things for riley. " he looked back at kieran and gave them a small smile, " goodbye, kie. "

[moreferarum]

" at least it's something , " kieran pointed out as they looked back at joshua . they didn't want to unpack what happened back there and it seemed easier to look on the bright side . they moved to hope out of the car , eventually raising their gaze to look back at the other nodding their head , " take care of yourself . " kieran's gaze lingered for a moment before they shut the car door , turning to head up the path toward the porch .

[morendodifame]

he hummed softly, " good... " joshua rubbed his lips together, pulling into gabriel's street. " so, it's not likely I'll see you again, at least not until riley gets married, I bet. " josh gave them a small smile, " I don't care that it's not mutual, but I'm glad I got to see you, and I'm-- grateful for what you did today. "

[moreferarum]

it wasn't as if josh was exactly wrong about that . they didn't have a reason to really see each other unless it came to their siblings . kieran sucked in a breath as they nodded their head , " you're welcome , " they spoke , glancing back at josh before shrugging , " just figured you woudn't want to do it alone . "

[morendodifame]

" not never, kie, riley is your friend too, " he objected, then shifted, shrugging, " plus if I ever convince quin to marry me, I'd probably invite him to the wedding. what are you gonna do? blow off your baby brothers wedding? " he teased with a grin, " I just don't think it's healthy to hold his childhood against him, that's all. "

[moreferarum]

" i'm going to be cordial but i don't have to be friends with him . " kieran looked back at matteo , almost half figuring if anyone was going to have their back in this situation was him . " yeah , i'll keep that in mind . " kieran pushed themself up , " you want more food ? "

[morendodifame]

matteo hummed, " didn't imagine it would, and you know, I never did get what you saw in him, but-- he's really not that person anymore. " he shrugged, " not that I'm encouraging you to forgive him but... just so you know. "

[moreferarum]

kieran tilted their head , " then why are you saying it ? " they perked a brow as they looked back at their brother . " i just don't think it matters . i'm going to leave town and probably never see him again . "

[morendodifame]

he grinned, " yeah, that sounds like something I'd do, " he didn't remember much at all from his childhood, only that kieran and riley were his whole word. he also knew there was trauma, but he'd thankfully blocked it out and he and kieran never discussed it. he rested his head on his shoulder, " I heard you saw josh at the bar. "

[moreferarum]

maybe they were a little relieved that matteo switched subjects although they wished he had chosen a better one . " yeah , " kieran breathed out , glancing at matteo before shrugging , " didn't exactly go well . "

[morendodifame]

he laughed, shrugging his shoulders, " I don't know, " josh murmured, " it's nice, but-- I'm not leaving dakota here. " he looked to kieran, " but you're not gonna leave your dad here either, right? "

[moreferarum]

" i don't think it would take much convincing to get him to leave . " they glanced back at joshua . " i just never asked before . " then again , kieran never thought things would pick up again and there was nothing they could say or think of to expain away what happened .

[morendodifame]

josh hummed, he knew all about the friendship that dakota shared with gabriel. it wasn't often that someone got to kiss their dream guy, but josh didn't mention that either. he smiled, " kinda cute, don't ya think? " maybe he shouldn't have said it, " I mean, dakota always had it bad for your old man when we were kids. "

[moreferarum]

kieran found themself chuckling at that , " yeah , he did . awkward . " although kieran had been used to it then and they were more than used to it now . " it is cute though . i'm just glad he has someone here even if it's nothing serious . "

[morendodifame]

matteo shrugged nonchalantly, " I drew him on my bedroom wall, " he grimaced, " never thought I was that kid with the stuffed animal best friend, I had riley my whole life. " he picked a fry from kieran's plate, " still, a weird name. "

[moreferarum]

" yeah , " kieran breathed , " that was a bit of a ... wild time , " they looked back at matteo wondering how much he remembered from that . " you did but ... i don't know . you were fixated and you chose a creepy ass white person name for him . "

[morendodifame]

" so, where did I pull the name chauncey from? " matteo decided to ask as they sat around gabe's living room. he was at work but matteo had always took every opportunity to hang out here growing up, he wasn't really ever going to change that. he took a sip from his drink and looked up at his brother, " kind of a weird, white ass name for a teddy bear. " @moreferarum

[moreferarum]

kieran perked a brow at the mention of chauncey as they fell into a seat . " uh , " kieran hummed as if they were trying to think . " i mean , we did grow up around a lot of white people . " they tilted their head to the side , " why ? "

[morendodifame]

he nodded, a faint smile on his lips, " how is your dad? " gabriel was a good man, one of the best really, and he'd always be grateful for everything he did for josh and riley when they were trying to get away from luke. josh head for the familiar house, wondering if gabe had ever shared that information with kieran-- probably not.

[moreferarum]

" he's good , " kieran hummed with a small smile . " i mean , i think he's found a bit of a friend in dakota but i haven't pressed him on it . " they wondered if joshua and dakota have had a chance to talk since being back in town .

[morendodifame]

poet settled when he saw her, his lips curving into a slow smile as he moved back towards her, " sorry, I guess I just thought-- I had the wrong room. " he stopped in front of her, drinking in her appearance for a moment and blowing out a soft sigh, " holy shit, you look-- incredible. you're beautiful, riley. "

[moreferarum]

for the moment , riley seemed to accept poet's answer , deciding to drop it . " it's okay , " she reassured , a smile touching her lips as she looked back at poet , a small blush creeping along her cheeks . " thank you , " she breathed before stepping out of the door way , shutting the door behind her . " ready ? "

[morendodifame]

he glanced back at them, frowning when he noticed the sadness in their eyes, but considering how quickly they turned away, josh didn't comment on it. he made his way towards the car again and climbed inside, saying nothing for the remainder of the journey. he stopped at a crossroads and frowned, " oh, are you with your mom or dad? "

[moreferarum]

the two fell into a silence once they got into the car , kieran's gaze out the window again . maybe it was a little bitter sweet . they knew if they were teenagers again that joshua's confession would have meant the world to them but they weren't teenagers anymore . kieran eventually looked back at joshua , " oh , with my dad . things are weird with my mom , " they spoke with a wave of their hand. things had always been weird .

[morendodifame]

he smiled against dakota's lips, pushing a hand into his hair as the other caught dakota's leg, pulling it over his own until the younger man rested in his lap. gabe didn't push it any further, simply happy with the heated kiss and close proximity.

[moreferarum]

dakota didn't hesitate to follow gabriel's lead , eventually finding placement on the man's lap . his hands lifted , cupping the man's jaw as he deepened the kiss , although , he had to admit that he was more than happy if neither of them pushed it . dakota was just happy to be here .

[morendodifame]

joshua sighed softly, shaking his head, " because I don't know that I'll ever see you again, and I guess-- " he shook his head, " hearing my dad just reminds me of being a kid who was too scared to do anything about it. I tried to tell you exactly here before, then I saw my dad's truck and I just-- did a bad thing. " he looked back at kieran, " I'm sorry. if I could go back in time, I would never have hurt you. I never wanted to, it just felt easier. " he moved back towards the car, shrugging, " I just wanted you to know that you had a crush on me, I know that, but it was very much mutual. "

[moreferarum]

kieran swallowed the lump in their throat as they looked away from joshua in a weak attempt to keep him from seeing the tears in their eyes . they understood , maybe more so now than they did before but it still hurt and kieran didn't want to go back to being that kid that took everything joshua said to heart . " okay , " they eventually spoke as they shifted to go back toward the car , " thank you . "

[morendodifame]

josh unlocked his car, tossed the album into the backseat, his hands still trembling slightly, before climbing into the drivers seat. josh blew out a sigh as they drove away from the house. he hadn't felt that scared in years and he hated it. he needed to get riley out of this town, and dakota, immediately. they reached the bridge and josh frowned, " I need you to see something, and it doesn't matter anymore, I know, I'm happy for you and your fiance, I am -- but... " he pulled over at the bridge and cut the engine, climbing out. his eyes scanned the posts until he found the one he'd marked on his last day in town. kieran was long gone since then. their initials carved into a poorly drawn heart. he pursed his lips, " I've loved you since I was twelve years old. "

[moreferarum]

the two didn't hesitate to get into the car and were quick to fall into a silence . kieran kept their gaze out the car window . they knew they needed to get out of this town -- all of them did . they were lost in their own thoughts until josh stopped the car and kieran noticed where they were . kieran was hesitant but eventually got out the car and slowly approached the other . they watched him for a moment before their eyes fell down to the carvings on the bridge . " why are you telling me this now ? "