The Perils of Online Dating

The actual experiences of me; a human woman

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Daddy Warbucks??? Is that you???

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Ah the sweet words of love in the form of a vague threat of sexual assault! Hark what romance

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WHAT does it mean

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NBB: no bitches behaviour

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I can only ever promise to ruin you financially

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Freud is crying, shitting, and throwing up rn

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I am not.

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A lot of men don’t know this, but being corrected is actually the most powerful aphrodisiac there is

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Leigh, respectfully, I’ll kill you.

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Sir, the ten minute version of All Too Well reached into my chest grasped my soul and shredded it along with my still beating heart what the fuck are you talking about soft

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I’d rather perform my own hysterectomy than be a man’s sex maid

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“I would like someone with the body of a woman with the feebleness of a child”

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My alternate choice is dying alone and it’s looking better every day 😎

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Wot

[dear-ao3]

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Apparently ladies it is INCREDIBLY RUDE to ask someone a follow up “what about you?” A. Single. Time.

☕️🚩

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