Mal

20, She/Her shadowhunter chronicles and shadow and bone.

[morgensdale]

Killshot [Dorian Gray X Reader]

• I looked up the Dorian Gray tag two days ago and found nothing written about him so I decided to change that ;) I'm obsessed with this man so why not really. Please like and reblog if you could, much thanks <3

Warnings: language, light smut, kissing, angst.

It was another late night at the bar you'd usually worked at, people coming and leaving, stumbling couples and chattering prostitutes, dancers fetching drinks here and there as you served them pleasantly.

You had worked as a bartender for a good year now, it paid off rather very well and you were happy doing the job. Not that you liked to drink at all, you'd once tried it but refrained as it's not the drink for you. And the best part of being a bartender was meeting cute guys almost every single day, you would never make a move on any though, some would flirt and throw trashy comments on how you dressed since the bar you worked at had a theme and you got to stick to it. Tight pants, tight shirts, bold make up, etc.

Until one day a tall, long haired gentleman walked into the bar, his two other friends tagging along the same table. You couldn't help but stare, he'd come and order so many drinks a night and you'd happy serve and flirt back, in fact he was being the most respectful ever it made your heart jump how he's not like all the other lads that would come here. Filthy.

It lead to one conversation after another, you thought you'd only see him when he came along with his two very grown friends, he looked around your age, stunning black eyes and brown hair you'd notice from a mile... but then he started coming alone, often sitting at the bar, watching you serve. Sometimes he wouldn't order, you would insist he'd at least have water on the house (Your boss caught you twice, wasn't happy with customers not paying) but you didn't care, he looked very lonely, and lovely. You'd have bonding conversations and what not all that was even before you got to know his name. "I'm Dorian." He said with a faint smirk that made your heart twist in your chest, and from then you'd often meet around the bar, he'd invite you for food, for coffee. Even.

Things was running so smoothly with you two until he stopped showing up to dates, not even come around the bar. You feared he might be thrown off over something you did or said, you haven't seen him for a good week now. It broke your heart entirely, you had no idea how to take it, you had no idea what to say to him after he's back.

One night the bar emptied earlier than usual, you were cleaning the bar table and some glasses, tidying up the place after your late night shift was over, hearing a subtle clicking noises you put the cloth down and stared to where the noise came from. And then you saw the same long- longer brown hair pop up. He was there, in front of you. You hadn't realised you were shaking,  it was a month since you'd last seen Dorian, since you'd last talked to him. "Dorian?" You asked, coming around the bar, having no idea how your legs picked you up at this point. He looked blank, ashen. He looked tired, not the usual look he had.

You walked closer to him. "I'm sorry." Was all he said ever since he'd walked in. "Dorian i-" you said and stopped yourself, you didn't want to excuse his behaviour without even any excuses being mentioned yet. He took a gentle step towards you, his face going into the light that had come from the ceiling, his face as perfect as ever, his eyes still as dark as you remembered them. You didn't know what came next as he grabbed your face into his palms and kissed you, kissed you hard enough that you felt the breath was knocked out of you. You whimpered against his mouth but you gave in and kissed back, this was indeed your first kiss with him.

And thinking he might disappear again after this, hating yourself for thinking like that. You kissed him even harder until you both tripped over each other, tumbling across the bar floor which you thankfully had wiped before he'd arrive. Your back hit the floor rather a bit hard as you moaned against him, he only pulled away to kiss down your neck until you pushed him off. "What the hell?!" You yelled , feeling frustrated with his behaviour. What was even happening? "What is this- what- what is all this- what do you want from me!? You leave- you leave without a trace for a month and then you- come and do this!" You said, wiping your mouth as you screamed at him. Tears building behind your eyes, a lump being formed in the back of your throat, your chest as heavy as ever.

His face fell, he knew he fucked up. His face said it all, he ran a hand through his hair and shifted closer to you, only for you to back away from him. Still feeling the heaviness of his lips on yours, the kiss still lingering on your neck as well, you shivered. "Stuff happened and- I needed to stay away, I didn't know- I didn't know I'd hurt you." Dorian said, pulling his knees to his chest. His eyes slowly finding yours, you hated the way he made you feel. You were so sure of him but you weren't so sure anymore now. "You broke my heart, hurt is too little of a word." You bit your lip, hoping it would make the feeling of his lips on yours go away but it didn't work, you hadn't realise you wanted more.

He put his hands over his face and you heard him sigh, his hands dropping to his side, His eyes finding yours again. "I want to be with you, more than anything." He said again, it all seems just excuses, part of you wanted to believe him but the other told you run. "You didn't think it through, when you decided to just leave me hanging. " You said, your eyes glaring into his. "I would spend my whole life apologising, if that's what it takes." Dorian said, his eyes had this glow in them, it's compelling. You sighed and fought against it. Telling him to go was easier than whatever was happening now, risking he may leave again, disappear forever this time. You wanted this, you wanted him. You felt stupid for it but you've been so alone for so long, it felt right with him, so right. You knew nothing could go wrong at first but then everyone makes mistakes, you can't push him off from the first one. As long as he tries to do better is what matters.

But you still needed time to think it through, now and that your boss gave you extra hours of work because of some other bartenders taking breaks. You felt so exhausted, you needed a release, a bath and a good nap. You felt yourself sigh once more before you stood up. "Dorian go home." You let yourself say, you didn't want to but things came together all at once, you're not sure you can handle it.

"No." He said before standing up, towering over you. "You're all I thought about, when I was away and I couldn't stop- you can't tell me to leave now."

"I just did."

"Do you really want me to leave?" He asked, which made your heart skip a beat. No, you wanted to say. No I don't want you to. You wanted to say so badly, words didn't come out and for that he really walked away from you. Making sure You took a good look at him for that may be the last time you ever see him, probably.

Two days later you finally asked your boss for a day off, another bartender took your place until you took time to cool off, deal with your heartbreak and sleep deprivation. Later that night you heard a faint knock at your door, it was around midnight and the neighbourhood was quiet around this time. The streets were also pretty dark which you loved. You walked from your room to the door, twisting the handle to find Dorian standing on the other side of the door, his hands shoved into his pockets, his hair wet. You had no idea it was raining. "Come in." You said, stepping to the side, his clothes didn't catch much water as his hair did, He looked perfect though. You closed the door behind him, crossing your arms to your chest. Him being at your place pricked at your veins, you felt more nervous than the obnoxious kiss you'd both shared two nights ago. "You're all I thought about." He had said two nights ago, not wanting to leave but only doing it because you'd asked him to.

Not finding the right words you decided to help him get warmer first, dry his hair as you gave him a cup of tea he held with his pale hands. You only sat across from him, a different couch. your heart hammering against your chest as you looked at him with the corner of your eyes to find him staring at you. The feeling of him against you two nights ago came rushing back, that kiss on your neck was hard enough to leave a mark you had hidden with your hair.

He sat the cup down, turning his body towards you. "Can we talk?" He said, his accent hitting every word he'd said. You only nodded, you felt like your voice was hidden and wouldn't come out. "I want to sort this out, with you.. anything you need, just tell me." He said, his eyes catching the fire from the fire place in the distance, he looked so honest and sincere it melted your hear. I want you to kiss me like you did two nights ago. But of course you couldn't say it, you only hoped he somewhat felt the same at all. "I- I want you to be honest with me.." You finally found the right words to say. "About?"

"No, just general honesty.. if you want space, tell me. I would understand." You said and with that he just nodded. You hoped he might leave after this but he didn't, you fought the urge to want him ever since he'd Came to your place. "I don't need space from you." He added after a minute or two. "I want you more than ever." He said then, your knees felt like jelly at that second he got up and walked to where you sat, placing his hands on your thigh

separating your legs gently as he went in between them, on his knees. His face inches from yours before you gave in and kissed him, hungrily, aggressively. A clash of tongues teeth and mouths. Your fingers raking through his freshly dried hair as his hands brought you closer to him, he tasted like tea and honey which made you smile against his mouth before his fingers went underneath your shirt, finding their way to your breasts and giving them a light squeeze before you gasped at his touch.

Pulling away for a second to talk to him, your lips still few inches away. He only leaned closer before you spoke up. "I haven't... before." You said and his eyes changed into a reflection of worry and understanding at the same time. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to." His fingers still being inside your shirt he took them off with that. "No- no I want to." You said reaching and holding his hands into yours, he'd searched your eyes as you nodded to assure him once more. "I want you." You whispered before he grabbed your face again, his lips finding yours into another hungry kiss. Better than the one you shared at the bar, you hadn't realised you were leaning closer and closer until you were shifted from your seat on the couch and you fell into his lap, your knees clashing with the hard floor which made you yelp into his mouth, breaking a small laughter. "Ouch." You said before he smiled too, his cheeks flushed red before he grabbed your waist and your leg with his hands, laying you down on the floor, your laughing died down as he leaned in and kissed your neck, soft kisses that made you close your eyes and take it in, your hands finding their way into his hair. He bit on your skin gently before licking it to soothe the pain continuing the kisses all the way down to your shoulder then your chest, he looked up at you before he'd grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head. You helped him help you take off your shirt, remembering the time you had been waiting for him to show up after a while of his disappearance, wishing he'd ever be here and there he was.. all over you, it felt so surreal, it was happening too fast. "Dorian wait." You said and he stopped whatever he was doing, his eyes looking into yours.

"This is happening too fast.." You said. "Did I do something wrong?" He asked and you shook your head. "No- god no way you're perfect. I'm just- I don't think I'm ready yet.. and with us- I just got you back and I want us to talk." You said, sitting up and grabbing your shirt back. "You're right, I'm sorry.. For everything." He'd said. You were grateful he wasn't persistent or pushy, but you still felt like he's way into his own head and you wished you could let him open up to you, tell you what he's thinking about.

He leaned against the couch, watching the fire place burn as you put your shirt back on, kneeling beside him. "Hey." You said, leaning your head over his shoulder. "Whatever you want me to tell you, I can't do it." Dorian spoke up. "Why not?"

"I just can't" he snapped his towards yours. You had no other choice but to leave it behind, and go along with whatever he may wish to tell you. "Alright." You said, nodding. His eyes a burning flame, he searched your face for a brief second before looking away.

You weren't gonna push him away for it, you're gonna stay by his side for whatever it's worth. You leaned against his shoulder and let yourself fall asleep, best night of sleep you've gotten for a good month now.

[morgensdale]

(Saw someone say they want a modern malina AU where mal dyes his hair blonde and pierces his nose and alina has a mental break down over it, enjoy)

Mal dropped his car keys on the kitchen table after he just got home from the hairdresser. He stood in front of the mirror and checked himself out, running his fingers through his light hair and smiling.

He's always wanted to match with alina, any stupid thing they both did it together, he got them matching rings, necklaces, even shirts in the most idiotic graphics on them but he wanted something more 'her'. The door to their bedroom creaked open as alina walked out of it. She saw him, rubbed her eyes and looked again. "What do you think?" He asked, grinning like a complete idiot as she placed a hand on her mouth. "Oh my god?" She said, she then noticed his nose and gasped. "I thought you were joking!" She said, half laughing half shocked

"It's exactly the shade of yours." Mal said, grabbing a piece of her hair softly in his fingers. "It looks so-" she said and started laughing, her cheeks going red as she lifted a hand and ran it through his hair. "It looks so good!"  Alina said, then putting both her hands in it. "It's so soft too oh my what did you do with it?" She said giving him a small head massage and he melted into her arms. "You like it?" Mal asked and she nodded, bopping his nose.

"You're an idiot, 100% an idiot." Alina said admiring him then she realised she was stating and started giggling. "I can't stop staring at you-" she said, her voice cracking as she smiled. " You said you'd kick my ass if I did it." Mal placed the piece of hair he held in his fingers behind her ear as she blushed harder. "No it looks really good, I can't- it's just.. it looks amazing." She said and he giggled. "No ass kicking?"

"Only If you don't kiss me.." Alina said as mal grabbed her waist, pulling her into him. Their mouths colliding for a passionate sweet kiss that left her breathless. Her fingers still burried in his hair, which she also forgot to mention it smelled good too. He pulled away for a second, just an inch away from her mouth as he whispered. "I might go pink next time." He said and she laughed, grabbing him by the collar for another kiss.

[morgensdale]

"Together." Mal X Alina OS

Mal comforts alina after a child is sick at the orphanage.

Warnings: panic attack/ trauma mentions.

Alina walked inside the kitchen and pulled out the chair, to perhaps sit down, take her breath. She didn't, she couldn't. She tried to make sense out of what she was feeling at that moment and why, all her past trauma and her trying to ignore it came piling down on her. She placed her hand on her pregnant stomach and the other on her mouth to silence her sobs.

A kid at the orphanage has been sick for some time now, alina and mal have been trying all doctors, all medications, even had him set up for surgery at a young age and things were going perfectly for him. Then it came back, and he wasn't feeling okay again. Alina hated to think the surgery didn't do him well, it failed. They failed a child they didn't carry. Even mal requested for zoya or any other grisha to help but they're not capable of helping such things.

The child would often be in pain and alina would call for genya to help her, bring her a heartrender to try and ease his pain, put him to sleep. But it was getting worse, and genya couldn't cover for her much longer. Word can't get out for nikolai- despite being a friend - alina didn't want to take advantage of him and his grisha. So she stopped asking for the grisha help and tried her best to help the little boy with medical ways instead of small science.

Alina choked out a breath before she heard footsteps and wiped her tears in case it was another child that needed a cup of water or some food. Yet it wasn't, it was mal. He was standing in the door way. His blue eyes flashed as he noticed she was crying. He learned to not question why she wasn't okay, he just acts on it. He walked closer to her instead.

"How is he, mal?" Alina asked, sniffling. Her other hand placed on her still growing stomach. "He's asleep, and.." mal broke off, he looked to the side, he usually did that when he was hiding something. A flare of anger passed through alinas eyes and fully turned his way, glaring at him. "And what, mal?" He stayed quiet, grabbing her hand she pushed it away. "Please don't tell me you had to call grishas help.."

Mal just nodded. "Goddamn it mal! I said we shouldn't have to do that anymore, we can't rely on grisha, nikolai-" she broke off but mal interrupted her. "I know, I know. I couldn't watch him suffer longer, I wanted him to sleep and he was in too much pain to do so, please alina. I had to, I can't promise I won't do it again. I don't care if nikolai locks me up in a cell." Mal said and alina huffed in annoyance.

"Yeah so you leave me here, So we could have our child, first child when you're locked up in a cell and you know how I want this to go perfectly!" Alina yelled as mal just walked closer to her. "Alina, please calm down-" mal said but she shook her head and looked down, tears pouring from her eyes, she was tired. Entirely, she didn't know how she could handle all this. She felt mal's fingers slide against her damp cheeks and she looked up at him. "I'm sorry-" she cried once more. "I know, me too." He said and placed a kiss to her forehead.

"You're not gonna get locked up in a cell." Alina whispered and mal just smiled, it warmed her heart. Mal's hair has grew out longer than before. She couldn't help but run her fingers through his shiny curls, she leaned up and kissed him. His hands went around her waist and brought her closer to him, she couldn't imagine a life where she didn't have mal, where she didn't hug him after a stressful day. Anywhere with him was home, because he's home.

"Even the king can't keep me away from you." He said against her mouth before a throat was cleared at the door and they broke apart immediately. "Wow, that was adorable." Genya said, beside her was a heartrender. Alina just smiled and hugged her friend.

"I'm sorry, gen. I know what position this puts you in." Alina said, before glancing behind her at mal, he didn't seem to care that called grishas help as long as the little boy was alright. "Nikolai owes me, if anything I'm willing to help everyday if I have to. It is up to me, Thank you malyen for giving me the opportunity." Genya said, a small smile placed on her scarred lips. "The boy is fast asleep, as you requested, I shall be on my way." Genya still had the smile on her face before she left with the other grisha woman.

"At least it wasn't zoya." Mal said and alina broke into a laughter. Leaning against the counter, mal just watched her, he loved making her laugh. Ever since they were kids, her laughter had a tone to it and every time he heard it back then it would make him laugh, but now when he hears it it's like he's a child all over again, with his best friend at the same orphanage. Surviving together, Now they're having their own child they're gonna raise together at the same orphanage they both run, together.

[morgensdale]

modern!malina oneshot

Hello! This is where alina confesses her love to mal and he kisses her, fluffy I guess? Enjoy.

♡

Alina had just stumbled across her dorm room across the hall, a heavy bag thrown on her shoulder that held her books and papers she needed for the classes she just had to study with genya.

Genya, her best friend lived in the other side of the dorm building which meant they had to travel and walk a lot to get to one another, not that alina minded, she liked it.. just not when she had to carry such weight on one shoulder while two other big note books in the other hand.

Alina huffed a piece of her dark hair away from her face as she went inside her room and shut the door with her foot. She dropped the bag to the nearest table and sighed.

She looked around the room and it was an absolute mess, clothes thrown out everywhere, cans of coke, trash literally all around the place.

then she had remembered she shared her dorm room with none other than freaking malyen oretsev. "MAL!" Alina managed to yell, as if he's anywhere around the place to hear. "Oh for fucks sake, mal.. Fuck!" Alina said and huffed once again.

And it's like she called him, the door opened and he came inside, a drink in his hand, she assumed it was soda he liked to drink because he lives off sugar. He took the last sip, flexing his jaw towards her as he placed the can on the table. Alina rolled her eyes and walked to pick it up, she showed it to him and then threw it in the trash. "It's that easy!" Alina yelled again.

"Oh right, yes the room is a mess. I came back to clean it, I thought you'd take longer at genyas.." mal admitted, the room was a mess that he made but he surely looked good as ever. Alina envied how he managed to look good every day while dealing with assignments and a pile of useless homework, exams every now and then, She wanted to punch him in the face for it. She hasn't realise she was staring and then blinked twice, looking away from him and her awkward tomato looking face.

"Well.. just do it quick." Alina said, completely forgetting she was mad at him, and that the room isn't even done cleaning. Yet her side of the room wasn't touched at all, if anything at all she's glad mal doesn't invade her private area of the room. That was only persevered for her.

"You alright?" He asked, grabbing a bag and putting all the trash that's scattered around his bed and on the floor that's near it. "Why?"

"I can't ask?"

Alina just nodded. "Whatever I'm tired, Finish quick I'll sleep." Alina said, giving her own shoulder a massage before she took off her boots. She figured mal nodded and then looked up at him, he was almost done with cleaning the place. "Where have you been?" She impulsively asks and then immediately regrets it, it wasn't her place to ask where he goes, not at all. "I went to grab a soda, needed my sugar." He answered, his back was given to her. As she managed to look to the side to see if he has any sort of reactions. Nothing, she dropped it.

She bit her lip, she hates how nervous he makes her feel, after she realised she's had feelings for him all these years of being his best friend, she would often catch herself thinking of him, wanting to be near him, asking her other friends if they'd seen him. They all would take it as normal as he probably would, but to her it was something else completely. She'd often toss and turn in her bed just thinking of him and of what she would say to him if he talked to her the next morning, it felt like a punch in the gut, he was her mal nonetheless but this time it's more in ways alina couldn't explain or admit herself, it caught her completely off guard, one day he was her best friend and then the other he was someone she wanted more of, a glance, a conversation, she felt too desperate and it disgusted her, she knew he doesn't like her that way, not one bit. It killed her more each day that he'll never look at her the way she was looking at him right before he just turned around and caught her staring at him.

"I forgot to ask, how do you like my hair like this?" Mal asked, Alina sighed internally, would she ever talk to him about her feelings? She would do anything other than ruin their friendship for her stupid feelings. "Yes, it looks good." Alina said, forcing a smile his way. "I know." He replied back before he hopped into his own bed. "Of course you do." Alina said and he just laughed, she adored it. She cringed at herself for feeling this way, her heart ached in her chest every time he spoke or looked at her, he would often hold her hand in the hallway or when they go for walks late at night around the building. Their hands fit perfectly together, she traced the scar on her palm and smiled, she loved it most when he held the hand that was scarred for him. She wouldn't have it any other way, she couldn't bare telling him how in love with him she is, she can't, and she won't- "mal-" she said. Looking up from her own palm.

"Hmm?" He said with the sleepy voice of his, was she gonna tell him? Can she even tell him? She swallowed the lump in her throat, and walked across to his bed. "I- I wanna talk to you about something." Alina said, standing on his bedside. He sat up, a concerned look on his face. "I figured, spill." He said, giving her his full attention. She sat down, which made her more nervous because they were closer and alina wasn't sure her legs could pick her up for long. "I don't know how to say this... I probably shouldn't." Alina said at first, his eyes not leaving her. "Did you kill anyone?"

"God no, mal-" alina said and let out a laugh, he smiled placing a piece of her hair behind her ear, which he did a lot before but for some reason it fired up her veins more and more as her cheeks heated.

She decided she should just tell him, she can't handle losing his friendship but her feelings were getting out of hand each day that passed he didn't know of it. Maybe if he rejects her it would be enough to understand she can't love him the way she does, or maybe he'll push her away, tell her he's in love with somebody else. Someone that isn't her.

"I- love you... and I know this is crazy to you because we do love each other, right? Like we're best friends for as long as I can remember and we've been together forever and- and it's made me whole and you're my absolute world- mal.. the love I feel for you now is not the love as when we were children. This- it's different, I'm in love with you desperately like i would shout it from roof tops and it's so ridiculous because you- me- you know? Goodness I-" the next thing she knew, he grabbed her face and kissed her, of any way she could have imagined his reaction it wasn't this one at all.

The kiss, her first kiss, was with him. Now, just after she poured her heart to him. He pulled away, a huge smile plastered on his face. "So- you don't hate me?" Alina asked, catching her breath. "Hate you-? Alina I've been in love with you way in the orphanage, you're all I've ever wanted, you're the whole of my heart." He said and with that, she kissed him again. Her arms around his neck. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" She asked, breaking the kiss. Looking into his eyes, she knew it was the exact reason as hers, having such friendship ruined for feelings. But she knew they can work it out, they always do. He grabbed her hand and kissed it, kissed her jaw, her cheek and then nudged her nose with his. "I would rather die than lose you... That's why I never spoke of my feelings for you, I should have and I am sorry for never doing it." He whispered, Alina nodded. "Me too, I'm sorry... for not realising it earlier." She said and he smiled, the smile that made her feel at home and at ease, she couldn't help but hug him, bury her face into his neck just like the old times, the room in complete silence but the sound of their breathing and in sync heartbeats.

[morgensdale]

"If it goes wrong, come back."

Alina and mal's scene in the first episode where they actually DO kiss, this contains brief spoilers. Enjoy <3

"If it goes wrong, come back. You've lost enough to it already." Alina said, glancing back at mal. He was already still looking at her, she knew he was thinking of it too. She saw him nod then said. "I'll find my way back to you." She swore her breath caught in her lungs. She wanted to jump and hug him, tell him to stay with her, tell him to never leave. But this was mal, her mal. The one who never backed out from a fight, he'd do anything because he's mal. She knows he won't listen to her, or promise to stay. "I promise." He said, but that's the promise to come back to her, not to stay with her.

She blinked, not realising they have been staring at each other for that long. Alina wanted him to do something, maybe lean closer. Maybe for her to lean closer, or both of them doing it at the same time. She felt the place quiet down, the only thing she could hear was her own thoughts. The urge to just close the gap between them, she was so desperate, she couldn't help but think she may lose him the next day, he'd be gone for too long and she won't be able to do this sooner, kiss him sooner. A few days ago she probably would think it's too soon to tell him what she felt, too scared to do it.. fearing he may reject her or push her away or even worse, tell her off. It would break her heart in pieces, pieces she can't bear to pick up because it's mal who broke it, he may be the only one who can fix it, he is the only one who can fix it.

She took one last look into his eyes that she always loved looking at, his perfect eyelashes she'd always been jealous of. She cupped his face into her small hands and leaned in, giving it all up, just for probably one last time. Her only chance of showing him, telling him through it how much she's in love with him. She kissed him. Lips on lips, she was shaking, terrified he might push her away. He didn't, didn't move at all. The next thing she knew he kissed her back, his arms going around her. She smiled against his lips before a giggle escaped her mouth. She didn't know kissing him would feel this safe, she always dreamt of it. But with the fear he may not want her to do it, and that they're just best friends. But now actually doing it, being this close to him, her hands grabbing his face with their mouths clashing. His arms around her like she might slip away, she wanted more. She wouldn't get enough of it.. not when it felt this safe and this good. With him, with her mal.

Now she'd let him go without regretting anything.

[morgensdale]

Shameless (jordelia)

Jordelia one shot based on shameless by camila cabello, I hope y'all enjoy this. <3

Cordelia sat across the table from James at the hell ruelle, people went by as they shot the Shadowhunters looks, Cordelia rolled her eyes and shifted in her seat. James glanced at her as he sipped from the wine that was served, only because Anna had asked for it. Cordelia was not usually into drinking.

She picked up her glass and stared inside of it, shaking it around before she put it to up to her glossy lips and took a sip, making her shudder she placed it back down. Looking up, she saw James smirking, he hid it by lifting the cup to his mouth. His eyes burning gold looking into hers making her shudder more than the wine did, she couldn't look away, her mom had always said it's rude to stare. But the way James had been staring at her wasn't in any form of rudeness, it was something completely different and the thought of it made her heart skip a beat.

He pushed his chair, his eyes not getting off from her as he got up. She saw him going to the corner which isn't where the bathrooms are, she knew this place, not well enough but she knew where the bathrooms where so where could he possibly be going?

Cordelia bit her lip and glanced at everyone while they chatted, completely oblivious to James leaving the table. She placed a hand on the back of her chair and pushed it further, smoothly picking up her dress and she made way after James.

She looked behind her at the table, no one noticed, or maybe they had but they ignored it. She huffed, staring back at her front. Stumbling across someone else,  she muttered her apologies but that person looked too drunk to even notice someone had walked into them. With cordelias heels that perhaps went into their foot.

She ignored it and looked for James still, she headed for the corner where she heard no noise, just fainted talking which seemed far away, her brows furrowed, James probably isn't here by any chance. It was too quiet,  as if it was a completely different place.

She waited before she took another step, then pair of arms grabbed her waist and slammed her against the wall. She gasped before a hand was jammed to her mouth, her eyes wide she saw him. James, just inches between them.

His eyes the darkest gold, he took his hand off her mouth. "shh it's me!" He said before she tried to let out any more gasps or loud noise. "James? What is happening- why are you here?" Cordelia said, in a whisper tone. That matched his. His hands still gribbed her waist, she could smell the wine on him. Of course he was drunk, and with one sip she couldn't say she had been drunk too. Part of her wished she had been.

"I thought we had to get away- be alone... for a bit." He whispered. She felt her knees go weak the minute he started talking, just a few inches between them, she wanted him to give in so badly. Looking up into his eyes he looked at nothing else but her, it melted her heart. "Just you and me." And he got closer, her breath riggid, she felt her stomach twist.

Making no effort into pushing him away, or tell him that he was drunk, or maybe he wasn't. She saw him take two sips, it can't be what's making him this way. Or maybe he wanted to be this way, be this close to her, close to feel his breathe on her upper lip. She shuddered, she was shameless of what she had felt for him at that second. She wished he had been shameless too, but now she could tell he was just as shameless as she is, It's like he's written it on her neck. He leaned in more as their lips finally met, he pinned her harder agaisnt the wall as the kiss deepened much quicker than she had thought.

She gasped against his mouth before his hands went underneath her dress and her legs, pulling her up to his waist. Her hair falling into her face, she kissed him back. He tasted like wine and sugar, her head was spinning, a kiss wasn't supposed to make you feel like you're gonna pass out, or die from a heart attack, But that's exactly the point of it.

Her hands cupped his face as he kissed her harder and harder. His hands touching every part of her, every inch. She always dreamed of kissing him, but nothing felt like this, imagining was way different. She'd often dream about him kissing her, in the sweetest way possible, that she would almost feel like she hasn't been kissed. But this one felt million times different, it was gonna linger on her lips for eternity, leaving his mark on her lips just by his on them.

She whispered his name again and again, his mouth leaving it's trace all over her neck, her chest, her shoulders, he kissed her scars and her sweet spots that made her melt into his arms, he kissed her collar bones and the nape of her neck, her throat, and all the way up to her chin until he was done. Her eyes closed and her head thrown back, he placed a hand to her cheek. Making her look at him, her eyes opened, staring back into his.

He had the most beautiful face, looking at him was like a punch in the gut. She bit her swollen lip and stroked his cheek lightly, he smiled, a smile that melted her heart. She would always think of kissing him, or holding his hand, or playing with his hair Without being sorry or forgiven, she wanted to do all this with him, Just him.

The whole ride home was just thinking of him, he's all She ever thought about, now with that kiss, the way he held her, the way he kissed her. He could not have been drunk or else she'd feel so guilty of letting him do this with her without his true feelings out, but she still didn't care... She never would, anything with him was good enough, Drunk or not.

[morgensdale]

Afterglow (Wessa)

Hello! This is a wessa one shot inspired by Taylor's song Afterglow from the Lover album. No warnings (kissing perhaps) hope you enjoy! <3

Will had been wandering the whole day in his own mind after a huge argument with him Tessa a week ago, not doing anything else about it but regret it.

He'd said awful things to her, snapping at every remark she'd make, the smallest conflict. It was getting too far til a week ago where he let his anxiety get the best of him, assuming she'd want nothing to do with him any longer, he became so certain of it that it's the only thing he'd see when he looks at her.

His heart would tug at each thought of it and it hurt him, but he thought it didn't hurt as much it had hurt her. The look on her face, her beautiful face with her wide Gray eyes going completely blank when he'd lost his mind. He wanted to scream how sorry he was at her, he wanted to cry like sirens how badly sorry he was at that moment.

He took it out all on her, when she wanted nothing but love him. Will knew that damn well, he was just so invested in his false thoughts that he blew things out of proportion.

He's still so in love with her and wouldn't bare losing this with her, he'd often glance at her, not looking his way at all, it's like he thought he doesn't exist to her, his thoughts got the best of him, got all of him. He catched her alone in the drawing room, reading one of her books that he'd notice was a different one.

He'd been away from her long enough to not even know what book she'd started. Will walked in, fiddling nervously with his fingers and his palm, wiping his sweaty hands against his trousers, Tessa hadn't noticed he was in the room which he took his sweet time admiring her, how her hair was perfectly tucked, how her nose gleamed and the tip of it shone from the fireplace's light reflecting it. How her lips looked, so soft and plump. Will swore he could have melted if it was humanly possible.

He almost tripped with his own feet before he thought of everything he told her, how he was driven mad and lost his mind over his mind and his over thinking. He knew Tessa deserved better than anything he could possibly give her but she'll always be the one for him. Would she even wanna look at him? Would she even listen to him? He felt as if it would be a gift if she even looked at him in that moment. She flipped a page, her finger slowly going over the papers and will just wished she'd touch him that way. He swallowed the lump in his throat and decided to go with it. For whatever it's worth.

"Tessa." He spoke, she lifted her head up, just not looking at him. His heart dropped to his stomach, he should have known better. Tessas eyes finally met his, she closed the book and stood up.

"Tessa. wait, don't walk away, please." Will rambled, her back was facing him. He walked closer and closer to her, she turned around and looked at him, her eyes bright as they caught light from the window. "I suggest you be quick." She snapped, hugging the book close to her chest, giving him a cold look, Exactly what he thought he deserved.

Will took a breath then another step towards her, she backed away. Her cold stare not leaving her eyes. "I'm so sorry, I thought I had a reason to attack you and I'm sorry that I hurt you." He said, his eyes stinging, not wanting to blink, he wanted to stare at her for as long as he could. She blinked a few times, putting her book on the table she was just reading on. His hands were shaking, his bottom lip quivered, he surely never felt this way about anything before. Not someone he was desperately in love with. "Is that all you have to say?" Tessa spoke up, finally. Making his nerves jump. He took a told of her hand, her hand steady and warm, unlike his, cold and shaky, sticky with sweat.

"It's all me.." he whispered, searching her eyes. "It's not your fault, it's in my head." He'd said, her fingers curling into his, she was the fire extinguisher to his fire. "What do you mean, Why?" Tessa asked, holding his hand tight.

"I'm the one who did all this, for nothing, I didn't mean any of it. I would never want to hurt you." He said again, louder this time. She got closer to him and placed a hand to his cheek. "I knew you'd beat up yourself for it, I just- I want you to be honest with me.. that's all I'm asking of you." Tessa said, he pressed a kiss to her palm. He saw a hint of red appearing on her pale face, he stroked her cheekbone gently. "I'm sorry." Will said. And he'd do it again, scream it at the top of his lungs for her.

He then cupped her face with his own trembling hands, bringing their foreheads together, she smelled like flowers and vanilla. It made him want to smile so bad. "Tell me you're still mine." He asked, closing his eyes. Being this close to her after a week of torture and despair. "Who else's would I be?" She replied, her arms going around him.

"Tell me that I'm all you want." He asked again, opening his eyes to see her, look into her eyes that he missed. She had a soft smile on her soft lips and then said "You're all I want." Before their lips crashed together, his hands going into her hair, hers holding on to him, he opened her mouth with his and kissed her deeply and hungrily all at once. He whispered how much he loved her against her mouth, against her neck and shoulders, He'd scream it out loud if he could.

She was out of breath before he pulled away from her, her eyes staring into his. His fingers through her hair, she smiled at him and kissed his nose. "You're all I need." She'd said before they kissed again.

[morgensdale]

"Where did you go when you ran off?" PT 3.

Jordelia one shot, last part! I hope y'all enjoy this. No warnings <3

As soon as Cordelia had decided to go back inside, James had followed her running, she was already inside, feeling the warmth of the house she'll leave in a year, her heart dropping at the memory of it as she swallowed it all down, locking it into her heart. Only her would get to be sad about this, she knew he felt nothing for her and he'd only kissed her because he was worried, nothing more nothing less.

He grabbed her wrist as they got inside, he closed the front door behind him, and locked it. She looked at him, already exhausted from the amount of talking she'd done today and she was in a huge need of sleep. "Where did you go when you ran off?" He asked, his tone was calm and sweet which made her want to sleep more than anything, She bit the insides of her cheek and finally spoke up. "I went to see Lucie." She said and his eyebrows went up, then he nodded. His grip on her wrist softened and he let go, feeling her yet still icy cold hands get colder. He walked off, and to their bedroom. She watched him as he disappeared into it, she huffed and hugged herself walking to the fireplace to hopefully get warmer before bed, she stared into the fire as it clicked in the silent atmosphere. She pulled her legs and rested her head onto them, closing her eyes and she let the warmth consume her to sleep.

She woke just few minutes after she had fallen asleep in front of the fireplace, the room still quiet and she stood up blinking her eyes, hoping she doesn't have to lose her sleep before she got to bed and crawled into it peacefully. She walked to her and james' bedroom, opening the door gently because she knew James is already asleep. She stepped in the room and closed the door as gently as she'd opened it. She took a look at him, as she always would. His hair flowing all black on the white pillow, he sleeps on his stomach which she found adorable, a hand was thrown to the side while the other was tucked underneath the pillow.

A small smile found it's way on her face before she shook her head and went to change into her night gown, making sure she doesn't make any noise and wake him, and because then she'd be naked, she wasn't in need of any embarrassing moments with him. Cordelia slowly took off her dress, glancing every now and then hoping he isn't awake, she pushed her hair out of the way after she was done, slipping on her night gown and put her hair to the side, slowly climbing to bed, james' hand still thrown across the bed.

She slowly took a hold of it, his hair covering his face while he slept. She moved it closer to his pillow as she laid down, staring at the ceiling. Her sleep was completely gone, every single thought going back to her head and she felt her stomach drop. With him on her side, she was so used to it. So used to making sure he doesn't wake up while she strips off her dresses and gowns, so used to seeing his beautiful face by her side on the bed with a distance between them, not hugging or touching, his body beside hers and no matter how far away it is made her more nervous than any touch would.

Few seconds later she felt his arm snake around her, she looked to the side to find him still asleep, or at least his eyes were still closed. But she swore he was further away from her, now he got a bit closer, and close enough that his arm was around her now.

She didn't look away from him, he murmured something in his sleep and she'd no idea what it was, she tried to close her eyes and fall asleep, nothing worked, not when he was getting closer and closer this his body was pressed to her side as he cuddled her. She turned to her side, facing him. She moved a hand into his hair moving it away to see his face. His hair smelled so good, it felt so soft against her fingers. "James?" She whispered and his lashes fluttered, his eyes looking into hers. Bright piercing gold, she moved her hand away from his hair, she felt as if any touch from her made him uncomfortable. "are you all right?" James asked, she nodded. "I'm all right." Cordelia said, as quiet as he did.

He snuggled up to her, the first time ever since they got married, the closest they got on the bed. She felt her heart burn in her chest as she felt him stroke her hair. Realising he'd fallen back asleep and she's only left with her racing thoughts and her racing heart. Closing her eyes, getting some sleep before her thoughts stop her from doing so.

[morgensdale]

"You're a badass, and you got this." PT2

Jordelia one shot part 2! I enjoyed writing this so much, no warnings, just kissing I guess? Haha enjoy!

Cordelia ran as fast as she could away from her and james' house, her breathing uneven as her legs gave out and she fell on a pavement, tears streaming down her face. She never felt the urge to cry this much in her entire life, and ever since her and james' marriage. Her heart tugged inside her chest as she placed a hand there, feeling it. It felt as if it's gonna jump out of her ribcage, she took a deep breath that was shaky and trembling as she hugged her legs close, she was glad no one is around at this time, or at all. She hurt James, of course she did, she couldn't stop thinking about the look on his face the minute her sword got in between the bracelet, betrayal, hurt, and other expressions Cordelia couldn't make out from the panic she'd had afterwards and that she still does.

She needed to talk to someone, anyone at all, just not James. She did not know if she could face him after what she'd done to him, ruining something that meant so much to him, something that's letting him old on to this useless marriage.. she hadn't realised until a sob escaped her lips as she wiped her tears and got up, walking around, not knowing where to go.

It was cold, so cold. But she felt completely numb to it, she deserved to feel her bones crush from coldness, maybe she'd know how he felt the minute she decided to pull that stunt. She found herself outside the institute, looking up at the huge building in front of her, james' parents inside, they could come out here and see her any minute which made her panic more and go behind it, to lucie's window.

She looked around for rocks, she found smaller ones, bigger ones, and much much bigger ones. She grabbed the smallest ones she could find and gathered them into her hand as she aimed to lucies window and threw it, she missed at first as she groaned. Grabbing another rock and threw it, it hit the window, a soft clicking sound, she smiled to herself. Lucies bedroom was lit, meaning she's still awake, making cordelias panic being to lessen.

She picked another rock and threw it, making another sound of soft clicking, then the third rock, the fourth- until Lucie's head pecked out of the window, her brows furrowed as she looked around, her face as pale as ever and her hair as neat as it always is. Cordelia looked around before she whispered yelled. "Lucie, Down here!" Cordelia said as Lucie looked down, her face went from angry confusion to confused happiness. She smiled and waved. "What are you doing here?!" Lucie yelled back. Still smiling and Cordelia felt so bad, she hated to hurt this family, she loved them with all of her. "Is James with you?" She smiled wider looking aside from her window and Cordelia shook her head. "Could you please get down here? Don't tell anyone I'm here, I need- I need to speak to you." Cordelia said, her neck hurting from looking up. Lucie still had confusion on her face as her smile disappeared.

She closed her window and Cordelia knew she'll be down here in a bit, unless Tessa or will saw her. A minute or so later Lucie was sprinting to where she is, her dress flowing at her side, Cordelia felt relieved that no body has saw her coming out. Lucie hugged her and soon as she pulled away she noticed how her eyes looked puffy and miserable.

"What happened?" Lucie asked. "It's James."

"Is he okay?! What happened?" Lucie panicked. "He's fine- physically.. at least. Lucie I screwed up-" Cordelia said, her heart still tugging into her chest. "What do you mean?" Lucie asked again, Cordelia took a deep breath and sighed. "That bracelet- you know- the one that-" Lucie cut her off by nodding. "I- I- I cut it in pieces.. and it's not a big deal it sounds so stupid but it means a lot to him.. you know that all too well, Lucie. I had to leave, he looked so upset and mad at me I was so scared to be there, with him mad at me like that- please- what can i do now? I didn't want to hurt him like this- not like this- I love him too much to handle it-" she blurted out, realising too much of what she'd said. She covered her mouth as Lucie's eyes widened. "Love him?" She said and Cordelia nodded. "It's too late for me to hide this any longer, yes. Lucie, I've always loved him, I think that's why it's a little easier for me to be married to him, when he obviously never wished to marry me." She'd said as Lucie pulled her in for another hug. "It's okay.. look- just go back and talk to him.. he'll listen, I know he will. Just don't make him worry enough to come here and let my parents know." Cordelias panic was back and stronger. "Goodness, no I can't let your parents know-" she'd said and Lucie nodded her head in agreement.

"No they won't, go back right now... tell him everything, it's okay and I know it sucks but please- it's James we're talking about here. He's a cookie, literally. Okay? You know what I mean.. you're a badass and you got this." Lucie rambled and clapped her on her shoulder. "I'm a badass and I got this." Cordelia repeated.

Cordelia found her way back home after she waved goodbye to lucie, watching the institute doors to make sure no one is there and she successfully leaves the residence unseen. She picked up her skirts the whole way, her legs tired from walking and the cold creeping in since she grabbed no jacket, not that should even think of doing so after such a rush of panic.

She kept repeating lucies words inside her head as closer as she'd got to her and james' house, she felt anxiety tug at her heart every time she remembered she had to talk to him. And having to say sorry, she was only sorry about hurting him, not the bracelet. She took a shaky breath as her house was in view now, she got closer and closer until she saw James, standing on the front porch, pacing back and fourth as Cordelia swallowed. She'd expected anything but him waiting for her.

She dreaded it the closer she got, and how he lifted his head up and finally saw her. His shoulders tensing up as he ran to her, grabbing her into his arms, in a tight hug.  She was so confused, the most confused she ever felt in her entire life. Her hands thrown up, not knowing if she should hug him back or not, he only felt so warm as his arms were bracing her back and her head, her head resting in the crook of his neck as he pulled away. "Goddamn it daisy how could you run like this without telling me where your'e going- I was worried sick about you!" James yelled, the first time she ever saw him so angry and frustrated, and the first time she didn't know what to tell him, she was intensely speechless as she just looked into his face, her mouth opening hoping for words to come out but nothing. She had no idea what to tell him, she was just not thinking he'd be out there worrying about her.

His arms still held her and her searched her eyes. "I'm so sorry." She broke off, finally, saying the right thing. "What are you sorry for?" He asked, getting closer to her, she felt his warm breath against her icy cheek. "I cut it off- your bracelet." She said, grabbing his wrist and moving her thumb against it, now empty. Nothing but pale skin, no bracelet. "I don't care about that.. I care about you! You ran off just like that- I was so worried-!" James yelled once again. "Don't you do that ever again-" Cordelia's eyes widened at the sudden different treatment from him, he's usually always silent around her, nothing to say and nothing to do.

"I- all right.. I'm sorry, I won't." Cordelia said, looking up and into his eyes, their gold was dark and brief, his pupils swallowing up most of the color. She felt so safe being held by him, her hand still holding his wrist, she wished things were how she always wanted them to be with him, her husband, not just by name.. but by actions too, she sighed and moved away from him. Until he grabbed her waist and kissed her gently, so sweetly. Lips on lips, he was so warm and gently that she felt her heart ache. Her hands wrapping themselves around his neck as she kissed him back. Their first kiss after the whispering room, they never shared any affectionate moments at all, just sleeping in the same bed, which doesn't count for anything.

His other hand found it's way around her waist too and he brought her closer if it's even possible. Her hands in his soft black hair as she got lost into him. She wished this would last forever, then she remembered how Lucie told her to tell him how she felt about him, Cordelia pulled away and opened her eyes. "James- i-" she said but she couldn't, tounge tied and confused, she bit her swollen lip as he waited for her to finish what she'd wanted to say. "Yeah?" He broke off the silence as Cordelia found it hard to tell him, she never wanted him to know. She was okay in loving him alone, without having him love her back. Not knowing what else to do she kissed him again, telling him how she felt into the kiss, deep and gentle. Knowing he won't figure it out on his own, but it's still better than burdening him with it, she knows it'll only make things harder for him. But the only comfort she'd got out of this is how he kissed her back, they'd share kisses but that's it, Cordelia wanted more, she wished for more. Again, her husband by actions as much as he is hers just for a year, she's used to him now, so used to being around him, sleeping beside him, waking up to his beautiful face, what's she gonna do when this year passes, and when she has to leave him, after he divorces her, after he's being claimed by someone else? She found herself always thinking about it, now she's attaching herself more and more to him, She pulled away from the kiss once again. Finding him leaning in, wanting more but she stopped him. "Thanks, James... for worrying about me." She said as he only smiled at her, so softly. She wouldn't know he's smiling if she hadn't knew his face by heart. "We must go inside." Cordelia added, dropping her arms from around his neck, picking up her skirts and walking back inside, her heart playing games with her as that feeling of something missing is back again, yet she still has him, but she'll lose him.. in a year.

[morgensdale]

"There's nothing to say." PT 1

Jordelia one shot part one! No warnings, I hope you enjoy. Please like and reblog if you could <3

Cordelia sat at the opposite of the dinner table, in front of her 'husband' james or that's what their parents believe. He was playing with his food, not putting any of it in his mouth, just as he hadn't spoken a word to her ever since they both sat down, and possibly have a good meal together.

James' hair was covering his eyes, all black across his pale face as Cordelia tried to get an expression or at least any words out of him, handing him a cup of water and refilling it once, twice, three times, still not a word from him. She felt her tears in the back of her eyes as he throat tightened. She finally broke the silence. "Perhaps, James, if you do not want to eat your food I'll just call the servant to take it away." She said, moving her skirts aside, in attempt to get up, get away from him. Sitting at the opposite of him hurt, looking at him hurt, every morning she woke up and remembered that they were married for her sake she'd felt hurt, it stung and she's sure she's the only one who feels that way, and for once she wished she was never in love with him, but she knew she is, she'll always love him and it was like breathing to her at this point.

James finally looked up at her, his eyes glittering into hers. He cleared his throat, opening his mouth to speak as Cordelia looked back at him. He met her stare as she raised an eyebrow. "Daisy, wait." He said, she knew from the tone of his voice he wasn't sure of what he's saying. She waited for what he had to say, she always would. "What is it?" He stood up and walked towards her, he was indeed much taller than she was, yet she was still considered tall. He grabbed her hand and walked closer to her, her breath hitched in her throat, any affectionate move he'd ever make on her would make her melt and forgive him for anything he'd do or say to her,

Even if he doesn't love her hack, and he'd never. James only held her hand in his, it was soft and larger than hers was. The tears in her eyes were threatening to spill as she swallowed them back and took her hand from him, forcefully, not realising it. He only stared at her hand that she took away. And she stood her guard, living with him alone was a challenge, his parents had provided them a house just for them, thinking it was marriage out of pure love where Cordelia would be happy with him, or James happy with her, he wasn't.. Cordelia knew he was miserable and at any try of him being sweet and loving to her it was just out of guilt and shame, that he just cannot love her back.

He almost said something until Cordelia placed her palm against his mouth. "Don't, please." She'd said, his eyes searching into hers and every look he gave her made her want to cry harder and she swore on her life she'd never do that, not in front of him, not in front of anyone. "There's nothing to say." She said, her voice broke mid sentence as his hand reached hers and he tried to take it off his mouth but she looked away. She'd no idea what he would try and say about that. Her eyes were burning from the tears she's trying to hold back for so long, so long.

Her eyes instead moved to the same old bracelet he always wore, never once after their marriage he'd tried to take it off, he would often try and hide it from her under his sleeves but it was there, whether Cordelia saw it or not it is there and it made her angry and furious, and jealous.

She felt as if her stare could possibly burn the bracelet if it could, it was given to him by someone he actually does love, and would rather live with instead of her, it hurt her even more that she hasn't realised a tear slipped down her face and she quickly, out of pure anger and hatred for this thought she reached for her cortana pinned to her back and as fast as anything she'd ever did in her life she grabbed james' wrist with the sword in her other hand and she slashed the bracelet off, it's pieces flying everywhere around the room, he was staring at her in disbelief and shock, her tears wet and damp against her face, yet she knew she didn't look like she was crying, she was too angry to acknowledge that she cried in front of him.

The bracelet's remains were scattered on the floor as james stared at them, his mouth hung open. Cordelia hated herself for it, the anger washing off she felt numb, completely. How could she do this? Just because he doesn't love her back? Just because he would never feel the same as she does? She cut off something that meant the world to him, she did it herself, out of anger and jealousy. She took several steps away from him, putting cortana back to its place where it's pinned on her back. "I'm so sorry..." she whispered, her tears still plastered against her face. She had no idea what else to say, or do.

he'd never forgive her for it, never. Her attempts at making him love her has failed, looking at his face would forever be a reminder of it. Cordelia picked up her skirts and made a run for it, reaching the door and fleeing, away from him.

[morgensdale]

"You're staring"

(Clace one shot)

No warnings, hope you enjoy <3

Clary sat alone in her bedroom at the institute as she tried to draw something new, with the new sketching pens jace had gotten her for her birthday. A coffee mug at her side as she took sips from it every once in a while until she chugged it all, trying to think of something to draw.

Her door was opened and she looked up from her sketchpad, smiling as she found jace leaning in her doorway. All golden hues as the only different color was his black clothes, he was smiling back as he walked in and closed the door behind him. "I know that look on your face." He said, crossing his arms and clary looked up at him from her chair, she shrugged. "Creativity is none existent at the moment." She said and he let out a Breathy laugh, pushing his hair away from his face and clary couldn't help but stare at him, he was art work himself, she always found herself failing to draw him, never getting the right details of him, he was too perfect for her hands and wrist to get his face on paper.

"You're staring." Jace said, walking closer to her, grabbing the sketchpad from her lap and putting it aside. "A distraction from the fact that I can't think of anything to sketch." She said and he laughed again, his eyes glittering a bright gold into hers. "Try and draw me again?" He suggested, there was silence before he leaned backwards and away from her, taking his shirt off and throwing it aside. "Draw me again, clary." He winked and she flushed, looking away. "Okay, okay." Clary said, looking away from him and grabbing the sketchpad again as she picked up a pen, placing the sketchpad on her lap, she started on a new blank page, looking up at him and started to sketch the basics, still not getting his face as she saw it, but she got his body perfectly. "Don't move." She said alarmingly, focusing on the little details of his stomach and his collar bones, and down to his v line. She stopped to take a final look at it, the pencil in her mouth, she looked up at jace to see if she forgot anything.

She picked up the sketch and showed it to him. "Done." She said, smiling, her cheeks still heating up because jace was never aware of her drawing him, she only told him how it never works. But really, she had plenty of unfinished sketches of him hidden in her drawer. He walked closer to her and picked it up, he smiled as his cheeks flushed a bright red in his tanned face, she stroked his face and he studied the drawing. "It's beautiful, obviously, because it's me." He said and clary rolled her eyes. "Don't get cocky." She said snatching the sketchpad from his hands, causing him to laugh again and she couldn't help but smile. But he only leaned in and kissed her, he tasted sweet as Clary leaned into the kiss, He ran his fingers through her hair and clary pulled away from him. "No-" clary said, collecting her breath as he only smiled against her lips. "Once we start we won't stop." She said, a whisper against his lips and he moved away from her. "Okay, baby." He said and clary crunched her nose at him. She liked it when he called her that but she would never tell him that.

[morgensdale]

Ave atque vale, my parabatai.

(herongraystairs)

A small one shot I wrote for them, I never post my writing on here but i thought why waste a perfectly good cry?

———————————

Tessa tossed and turned into her bed as the early morning sun creeped in through her and jem's bedroom.

She leaned over and covered jem's body with their bed sheets as he slept beside her, standing up from the bed she looked at mina's small crib and reached over to give her daughter a soft kiss on her temple.

Since she had woken up She felt this pain in her chest, ever since she had saw the calendar last night. June, a hot summer day. The day will had passed away. Was today, she immediately left the room  and closed it as quietly as possible. The last thing she wanted for jem to see is her crying over will, which they usually both did together.

Any time he was mentioned, she'd weep and Jem would always just hug her and do the same.

She touched the bracelet will had given her on one of their marriage anniversaries. tears falling over it, making it mirror her red pale face stained with tears.

She sniffled and took it off her wrist and held it in both of her hands, tears none stop rushing down her face. She put her hands, that held the bracelet close to where her heart beat and cried, cried, cried.

She had always spent this day missing him and crying over him, at times she would visit his grave and bring him flowers, as she did with James and Lucie. Her heart hurt every time, but she never dared to cry when she visited them they don't deserve to only meet sadness when she's around. For they were her happiness for as long as she could remember, and counting.

Tears were reaching down her neck at this point as she finally stood up, Wearing her bracelet back and wiping her face.

She went into the kitchen to make breakfast hoping kit was asleep earlier than he usually would. Teenagers, Tessa thought.

She heard crackling noises as she stepped into the kitchen, she found kit attacking the cookie jar. That Tessa had brought just for him, she'd never met someone who was so in love with cookies the way kit was.

He looked towards her and smiled. "Good morning, kit." She gave him a small smile back as she sat down on the chair she has in front of the counter. "Did you even sleep?" She asked once more and he shrugged. "Couldn't."

He said finally and sat down the cookie he was eating. She's sure he saw how red and puffy her eyes were and dusted off his hands. "Mom are you okay?" He asked and walked closer to her. Kit had already been here for two years with them, and will's anniversary followed up for two years now, so kit knew what it was all about. She appreciated how he remembered such an awful day of loss for both her and jem.

He only hugged her as she hugged him back. "It's okay." Kit said, he often reminded her of how James was, so gentle and caring. It made her start crying again. She burried her face into her son's shoulder.

After a few moments she pulled away and wiped her face, grabbing her son's shoulders and looking into his face. "Please promise me you'll get some sleep okay?" Tessa said, her voice breaking off. "I don't want to leave you, I'll go sleep when dad is awake." Said kit. Tessa couldn't argue with that and just nodded.

Seconds after that jem finally showed up in the kitchen, holding up a crying mina in his arms. "Oh no." Tessa said in her usual baby voice every time she's around mina, taking her from jems arm as she kissed his cheek.

Pulling mina to her chest she said: "Good morning." To jem as he smiled and kissed her forehead instead and went to ruffle kit's messy blonde hair. They spoke for a bit until jem found out kit hadn't slept yet so he walked him to his bedroom to make sure he'd sleep.

Mina went back to sleep against tessa's chest, her black hair covering her head entirely, and over her soft puffy cheeks, She was so beautiful.

She looked up at jem as he sat in the opposite chair of hers.

He was lost in his own mind, just as she was. This day will forever be nothing but darkness and despair.

"Whether thou goest I will go.." jem started, Tessa looked up at him. Her chest stinging from hearing that. "Whether thou diest will I die." He continued. "And there will I be buried... the angel do so to me and more also." He went, and finally, he'd said the part that crush her heart into pieces. "If aught but death part thee and me, ave atque vale, my parabatai." Tessa broke into more sobs and the next thing she knew jem hugged her as tight as they both held each other into hopeless tears.