☆fawn☆

[morgue-slushpuppy]

☆*:.｡. o♥︎ 22 | she/they ♥︎o .｡.:*☆

》》things to know《《

cw: mention of 3/D & sfw pet/agere. please read before blocking immediately.

★ DNI: minors(all i ask is that you dont message me directly because i will not message you) , lgbt-phobes,r@c1st

★　used to be strictly an 3/D blog, going a little bit more private with that part of the blog as of now.

★　safe place for pet/agere (all i ask is that you keep comments sfw out of respect for any sfw regressors that may be here) and current/former 3/D blogs♥︎

★　if by chance i do slide back into 3/D related content it will be clearly marked with a warning, a divider, and likely a hashtag of my own.

★　the above mentioned applies to any form of “re” posts i may make- they will be clearly marked.

★ i will be tagging this pinned post with any hashtags i make as well as providing a guide to them

(if i get that far, this whole process may take a while but even if i do not use tags, i will still mark each post accordingly)

☁︎☆tags ☆☁︎

〜 # morgueslushadventures

• kinda just serves as a catch all for random thoughts

〜 # skinny(morgueslush)puppy

• 3/D related things (also peep the skinny puppy referenccccce)

〜 # slushinterrupted

• unhinged vents that will likely be accompanied by another tag

〜 # slushyre

• regression posting

(will continue updating if i change anything)

[morgue-slushpuppy]

♥︎☆ reminder ☆♥︎

TW: 3/D & b0dy image

just a reminder everyone: water retention is a bitch. lost one el bee over the day because- you guessed it -legitimate water retention.

now is everything water retention?? no of course not. but if something skyrockets unexpectedly it’s probably that.

(dw i freak out too. had a full fucking breakdown)

[morgue-slushpuppy]

i’m so tired guys.

[morgue-slushpuppy]

i am so so sleepy good night everyone:3

[morgue-slushpuppy]

♥︎☆ back on my bs ☆♥︎

tw: 3/D

i’m weirdly happy about this actually. not that i’ve been b/p, but just about the “p” part. i see a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. i can escape from this hell that is built from zero self control.

i’ve been prging (or at least attempting) every day for i think at least a week now. i can do this, i”ll get back to where i need to be and then i wont have to any more. i’ll only do it as a little treat.

im disgustingly excited to get sick again. i really screwed up by ditching my G/W rewards, one of them was to get my nips pierced once i hit my second to last G/W… and ya boy got em done in december. so i don’t think rewards really have any meaningful impact on me. my reward will come in the form of double takes and lingering, enthralled stares. those will be my reward.

[morgue-slushpuppy]

♥︎☆ this is getting old. it’s not funny anymore. ☆♥︎

tw: i’m spiraling. so warning for self hate.

why do i always fall for this. i think maybe i have a chance of some sort of good coming my way and it never fucking stays.

nothing ever stays or even changes. i miss being truly loved.

i’m begging someone to tell me what is wrong with me. i don’t want the bullshit “it’s them not you”. don’t fucking lie to me. i want to know what is wrong with me. what am i fucking doing wrong.

what is *wrong* with me.

i know i’m not pretty. please someone just give me a fucking chance.

i wouldn’t argue if someone needed a paper bag over my head. i know. i am aware.

at this point. screw it. love me out of pity. love me for my mediocre body and fumbly “flirting”. please just someone truly love me again.

i don’t know how much longer i can keep this up. please.

i need to hold a hand again. i just need a soft kiss, it’s ok-you can feign enthusiasm. if all you want is my willingness and nothing else, at this point i’ll do it. just please don’t make me feel like the last choice. if you can.

[vyva-melinkolya]

i wanna be put down like a horse

[vyva-melinkolya]

sorry someone took my phone haha

[morgue-slushpuppy]

i will be loved one day

[morgue-slushpuppy]

the air is starting to taste like androgyny and isolation again. yay ♥︎

[morgue-slushpuppy]

♥︎☆aaaah shit here we go again☆♥︎

tw: 3/D posting

revising goals. will be trying to go by bmi more rather than strictly elbees

it will go: 20, 19.4, 19, then around 18.6 to 18.4- so just teetering on und3rw8

i’m starting to get myself back in check and i am so happy about that. i can’t wait to reach my goals :) ♥︎

[morgue-slushpuppy]

♥︎☆i love being a puppy sometimes☆♥︎

cw: “re” posting

i am sitting outside on a bench waiting for my class listening to music and scrolling “re” pinterest. i’ve got some water (with a little flavor packet :3!) in a cute cup too. so good music, tasty water, ✨tasty air✨, having a pretty good time :D

i didn’t wear my real collar today, i have a leather spiky choker with a little heart ring on it. it buckles! i like it, i do kind of want to wear my regular collar though now that i think of it. i just like feeling like a little creature in my own ways.

[morgue-slushpuppy]

♥︎☆actually… fuck this☆♥︎

TW!!! 3/D PLEASE DO NOT GO FURTHER IF YOU ARE RECOVERED/TRYING TO RECOVER

i’ve been eating like a fucking pig recently. i can’t do this shit anymore. fucking christ what have i done. i thought going quiet about these things would make it easier but no. no it fucking doesn’t. i’ve just been a disgusting pig. i can’t fucking do this anymore. i can’t play around thinking i won’t gain every fucking ounce back because i fucking will if i keep going on like this.

[morgue-slushpuppy]

♥︎☆the sleepiest boy and the most delusional self praise☆♥︎

cw: kind of a “re” post? mention of accidental, mild injury

i am so so sleepy. i have been so sleepy for a while now.

i fell really hard on some stairs outside yesterday and scraped my knees and elbows and hands and it really hurt;-; but i changed my bandaids and cleaned them better today! it really hurt just with water on them yesterday so i did my best ;-;

i may not be any real persons puppy but i can do stuff knowing that fictional people would be so proud of me and call me a good boy and nice things. i want to be a nice persons good puppy again someday but for now i can just live in my head a little bit.

i made myself a really nice yarn tail! (it survived the fall!) it’s so soft and pretty. i’ll include a picture. it has a pretty pink bow and it is black, white, and brown :)

[morgue-slushpuppy]

tw self deprecating speech

i’m drunk and i’m fucking ugly and no one will ever fucking love me

no one will ever fucking want me for more than just being “easy”

i’m fucking disgusting and pathetic

[morgue-slushpuppy]

♥︎☆the sleepiest boy☆♥︎

tw: small mention of $/H

i am so sleepy, i have work to do but i am just yawning and yawning and there is no end in sight.

it’s weird being perceived by people, some guy said it made his day that he made me laugh because apparently i look “poised” and “elegant”. i said i felt like i came off as more of an asshole than anything but i’m glad he thinks that. this was in one of my classes, the professor got a kick out of it. i say it’s weird to be perceived because: what is it about me that made someone think that? i’m not complaining, i just want to know exactly why. there is nothing poised about me and i’m by no means elegant. i’m an annoying and prone-to-clapping-back goth dude. what exactly about that screams “poised and elegant”.

i had a councelor call today and am scheduled for an in person visit next week. i was afraid that they were going to kick me to the curb especially with my clueless answers to a lot of the questions. i’m realizing that i must intrigue people with my stupidity lmao. that’s the only explanation i have for any of the events of today.

i won’t lie about it, i do like that someone thinks of me in terms like that, but it just feels untrue? my guard is up for anything that seems like an advance and yet i’ve been roped into talking to someone i don’t even like in that way, and now that was plopped into my lap as well? it’s all just so much so fast. it’s half me reading too much into things. i don’t know.

i told the counselor about my “i want to go home” feeling in response to a question of what made me seek out counseling. i’m afraid that i’m going to get reported and everything will get ruined. i don’t know if i can tell them that i feel like everyone hates me when people are not chipper and cheery with me. i know i can’t tell them about how i feel like the world wouldn’t notice if i went away and i can’t tell them that sometimes i harm myself and feel nothing before during or after even though feeling something is the goal. i need to fill out the paperwork so i can continue but i keep putting it off. i will do it tomorrow though.

i have work to do but i am a very sleep and slightly distressed boy so i will be postponing work and going eepy mode. so good night everyone.

[morgue-slushpuppy]

♥︎☆having a mental breakdown to madonna ☆♥︎

tw: self deprecating talk

started crocheting again and i tried to redo a part and ripped the fucking yarn jesus christ what the fuck.

i want to fucking cry it’s so much wasted. so much time and yarn wasted.

why can’t i fucking do anything right.

[morgue-slushpuppy]

♥︎☆strange encounter???☆♥︎

cw: “re”

i was minding my business sitting somewhere at school, listening to my music, and someone just came up and started talking to me and asking a bunch of questions like how old i was and if i had siblings and such. normally this would be ok, but she was very close to me and i was kinda cornered and she asked to take a picture of me (i declined and she was like “oh but i really want to”). this is what really sent me over the edge, ive had uncomfortable situations involving having my picture taken by strangers without my knowledge at first. yes she asked but still not fun.

so yay involuntary regressing because i’m uncomfortable and wanted to cry. i don’t know why i do it in uncomfortable or stressful situations.

i always carry a little plushie with me at school, right now i have my little spider one and i like touching her belly because it’s full of little beads and it is a different fabric from the rest (still soft). she is orange and black, i like those colors.