hi sorry for being dead i just have been too lazy to post anything . but !!! here is comission for my cool friend @leafcaliber ft my Bug @mosspatchbugs
i really love how intensely Mirabelle reacts to act 5 Siffrin botched friendquest.
Isabeau is mostly operating out of concern and, eventually, hurt. he already knows somethingâs up before Siffrin gets to him. he knows something truly awful must be wrong for Siffrin to be lashing out like they are, and as soon as he canât handle the situation anymore, he leaves and asks (with strained cheer) for time apart to cool off.
most of Bonnieâs anger comes from being upset and afraid that Siffrin would willingly put themself in danger for no reason, when thatâs exactly why theyâve been so unsettled since the eye incident. they hate that Siffrin values their own life so little, they hate that theyâre the cause of any pain or loss for him, and here he is, putting himself in that situation AGAIN. on purpose. itâs loud and explosive, but itâs familiar, too, being âhatedâ by Bonnie for this reason.
Odile pushes, and keeps pushing, until her concern overwhelms Siffrin and they strike where they know sheâs most vulnerable. she gets physical, just for a moment, grabbing his collar before controlling herself and letting go. her fury shuts down into cold detachment, and she walks away.
but Mirabelleâdear, sweet, gentle, loving Mirabelle, âthe most wonderful being on earth,â with her secret âruthless sideâ that largely involves lightly badmouthing people behind their backs and then apologizingâslaps them. immediately.
and then COMPLETELY RENOUNCES THEIR FRIENDSHIP.
not just âweâre not friends anymore,â but âwe were never friends in the first place.â
thatâs!!! pretty extreme!!!!
of course, she ALSO starts by asking whatâs wrong. something must have happened for him to act like this. but as soon as Siffrin brushes her off, she jumps past that line of questioning and dives headfirst into re-evaluating everything she thought she knew about them as a a person.
if he could say something like that to her and not see anything wrong with it, then she was wrong to treat him as a friend, wrong to read camaraderie into his teasing, wrong to think they must care about them all under their aloof demeanor.
thatâs how Mirabelle phrases itââI was wrong about youââbut i think that thereâs a hidden layer of I was right about you, too.
she talks about the way they tease her like she had to convince herself that he was doing it in a friendly way. she says they talk like they âknow better than herâ like thatâs a thought sheâs had for a LONG time.
âAlways soooo mysterious, Siffrin, always talking as if you're better than me! As if you know me!!! But you don't, Siffrin!!! You're just as lost and useless as I am!!! So stop!!! Talking!!! As if you know me!!!!!!â
none of this comes across as a new, sudden way to view Siffrin for her. it doesnât shock or confuse her. it makes her angry, defensive, almost like she was waiting for something like this to happen at some point. the feeling of resentment, frustration, jealousy, being patronized and condescended toâthis is something sheâs been actively pushing down and rejecting this entire time, but theyâve given her ample reason for it all to boil to the surface. violently.
Mirabelleâs kindness is not inherent or easy. itâs a choice sheâs making. she treats Siffrin warmly because she gives him the benefit of the doubtârefusing to act based on anxiety-fueled, cynical speculation, and reassuring herself that his actions are driven by care and friendship even if she canât quite see it.
âI was wrong about youâ doesnât mean she always and without question believed them to be a fundamentally kind, caring person from the beginningâitâs that her first, colder instincts were right, and she was wrong to convince herself otherwise.
never mind that she asked what was wrong at first. she barely gives them time to speak in their own defense, to explain what they really meant by what they said. all of her suppressed doubts and frustrations are getting aired out now, now that all the trust sheâd so deliberately placed in him has been betrayed. her pain feels bigger than this singular moment, so when she hurts him back, she makes sure it extends back through the entirety of their relationship for him, too.
âYou're awful. You're not my friend, not my ally, not anything. You never were.â
like the others, she goes back to the clocktower and tells Siffrin not to come back until later. but thereâs a finality to the way she ends this confrontation that isnât quite there with the others. Isabeau and Odile reach their breaking point and remove themselves from the situation, asking for space to cool off but still somewhat leaving the door open for Siffrin to tell them whatâs really going on at some point. Mirabelle is the only one who tries to fully cut tiesâafter everything else she says, her âI donât want to see you until tonightâ reads to me somewhat as âI donât want to see you anymore unless I have to.â
I canât wait to never see you again.
even back at the clocktower, Mirabelle doesnât really defend Siffrinâs place in the party when Odile suggests leaving them behind out of concern for their trustworthiness on the most important day of the journey. Isabeau and Bonnie protest out of sentimentality and faith in Siffrinâs abilities and connection to them, and Mirabelle agrees, butâŠ
âI agree, but...âB-But would he even agree to come with us, still? Maybe they won't even come back tonight...â
she doesnât say much outside of that. maybe the stutter and hesitation here are signs of regret about how things happened, but she lacks Isabeau and Bonnieâs confidence that Siffrin even wants to come back to them in the first place. she doesnât trust that their bond was real anymore. maybe it never was in the first place, or maybe she broke whatever was there herself.
and sheâs still mad when they finally catch up to Siffrin at the King! and she makes sure Siffrin knows thatâafter saving them, assuring him that he no longer needs to fight, that theyâre all there for him. she still cares, of course she still caresâsheâs still hurt, too, but they can figure that part out once thereâs less world-ending stuff going on.
sheâs the first to say that they all reserve the right to still be angry at Siffrin laterâand that theyâve already forgiven him.
sheâs also the first to say we want to stay with you, too. itâs not just you.
she was wrong! she thought they didnât care but they care so much, itâs overwhelming, itâs world-ending.
i think sheâs gonna be wallowing in guilt post-canon the moment she remembers what she said and did TO SIFFRIN and not just what Siffrin said to her. especially now that she knows Siffrinâs exact hangups, and especially especially if she figures out what Siffrin was trying to say.
they put themself through hell out of loneliness and fear that none of the others cared about him the way he cared about them, he was going insane from repetition and exhaustion and hunger and trying to keep them all safe and together, and all they did in the midst of all that was say something kind of mean to her one time (that turned out to not even be MEANT to be mean it was supposed to be HELPFUL they just SAID IT ALL WRONG) and she SLAPPED THEM? and told him that they WERENâT FRIENDS AT ALL??? how could she!!! she should have known better!! what they said hurt a lot but still!!!
so when they eventually manage to try to talk about it, they end up almost in, like, a guilt competition.
Mirabelle apologizing for how she reacted, that she shouldnât have yelled or hit him, that she doesnât want to be the kind of person who acts that way out of anger and sheâs sorry that she made Siffrin expect that reaction from her, she should have known better and believed in him more and they only messed up like that because they were losing their mind in a time loop but whatâs HER excuseâ
and Siffrin going nononono stop I deserved itâ(HUH DONâT SAY THAT NO YOU DIDNâT)âand that he should never have said such awful things to her, ever, and she was under so much pressure already with the weight of the country and everyoneâs lives and futures and her religion and their whole party counting on her to do this impossible task because sheâs the only one who can, all this unbearable expectation and hope crushing her, and they KNEW that but they thought they could skip to the ending as though her feelings didnât matter at all, like helping her wasnât as important as saving a little timeâ
until theyâre just. in tears together, apologizing for all the horrible things they did in between complimenting each otherâs strength and kindness and resilience and how much they admire each other and saying that no, everything you did was completely understandable, actually, the only one who sucks here is me. which neither of them will accept coming from the other!!
theyâre so similar, in ways they couldnât really understand, before.
warm, affectionate, perfect Mirabelle, the resolute hero, a beacon of compassion and hope for all those around her, who wears her heart on her sleeve, her fear making her courage shine all the brighterânothing like the insignificant, forgettable Siffrin, too terrified to be known, too fragile to touch, too selfish and disgusting to bear letting go.
cool, mysterious, unflappable Siffrin, the worldly traveler, as charming and silly as they are confident and skilled, who brushed off losing an eye like it was nothing, accepting the risks of this journey with barely more than a shrugânothing like the anxious, stagnant, underserving Mirabelle, a fraud and a nobody crumbling under the weight of a mission too important to be entrusted to someone like her, doubting herself, doubting her friends, doubting her mentor, doubting her faith, too weak and brittle to bend and change the way the world needs her to without breaking.
not worth bothering others with their problems. they should be able to handle this alone. stay positive, stay calm. breathe in, and out.
theyâll struggle with it, stillâthe hiding, the minimizingâbut now, they understand each other a little better. they can hold each other accountable for what they leave unsaid.
itâll get easier, eventually. they have plenty of time.
WARNING FOR. Idk it may be a little suggestive. May. They just touch a whole lot and I dunno how tumblr is about non sexual touchyness of this caliber and I may have drawn them kissing too
Explode me if too much for this site, amen sorry chat
Now for the the
The thing I had in my brain for at least two months and only got into drawing now. Dialogue may be off, its not a thing I do often
Its out of my brain now. Amen.
Also in line for silly stupid headcanons;
Loop pulsates (so you can feel their heartbeat before you touch them but you have to be close enough) like a star and instead of hearing their heartbeat you just hear something like the sun sonification thing that nasa did a while ago.
It sounds a lot like a microwave but for everyone there it would sound so weird, at best. Scary at worst...
Loop can't hear it mostly for the same reasons we usually don't hear our body functioning; It just filters out. A panic attack or anything of that kind would be so extra terrifying, though
Just noticed I forgot Loop's tail in one of the sketches. Oopsies
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