All I Want Is A Nap

||Ela|| trying to be more active here ||She/They||

[antennatoheaven]

[valtsv]

thinking about how when you punch a mirror so that it cracks and fractures into multiple shards reflecting your own visage back at you, you're really just ironically surrounding yourself with more of the self you loathe in your quest to attain self-destruction. the grotesque reproductive quality of gouging pieces from yourself in order to lessen the burden of existence, and in the process only proliferating more individual aspects of You, shedding them as you go. much to consider.

[valtsv]

something like this

[valtsv]

was playing "fetch" with the ocean today by tossing stones into it and watching them wash back up with the tide a few meters away, and it got me thinking about grief and the things we carry with us even after we lose them

[valtsv]

[mossy-cap]

[good-4-her]

[good-4-her]

simply dont monday

[ambergrief]

me when i log onto www.youtube.con

[greatlordfluffernutter]

Me when i find out who killed the radio star

[maxgicalgirl]

Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(

[autistic-af]

My fun facts tend to bring the mood down. Apparently, the stages of death understanding through childhood is "a downer" at dinner parties.

[sh4wtycore]

[becomingvecna]

— David Cronenberg, Consumed

[donnatroyprincessofthemyscira]

[kness]

A crocodile mom and her little ones

Porcelain figurine

[minnow-doodle-doo]

Jason keeps him humble

[arcventi]

[libertineangel]

TV writers will come up with vaguely weird & awkward mannerisms for a character and unwittingly craft exemplary autism representation, then try to write an explicitly autistic character and commit a hate crime

[uredrunk]

[ahsteria]

“the arts and sciences are completely separate fields that should be pitted against each other” the overlap of the arts and sciences make up our entire perceivable reality they r fucking on the couch

[autistic-af]

"Not everyone is going to like you."

And look, I logically get that. Different personalities, different beliefs, views etc.

But the high masking autistic side of me deeply wants to know why and how I can change it because this outward personality has been carefully crafted over decades of successful scripts, reading books on body language, conversation studies and people watching.

I have carefully pruned back the parts of myself that others find distasteful, weird, off-putting...the "uncanny valley" effect that I give if not carefully schooling every single aspect of my outward appearance.

So, when that's rejected, there is a part of me that needs to know why. What needs to be pruned? What needs to be further detailed like a sports car so that I'm running correctly and I'm appeasing to everyone?

And also... This is an aspect I'm trying hard to unlearn. I was diagnosed late so my whole personality was built upon these rules and laws of interaction. Unlearning that and trying to accept that being me, authentically, is okay...that shit is difficult.