i became cis for a hot sec and now non binary people can’t die so how do i fix cub dying
this was a trick on @blindillusionist end to bring cub back somehow this was not in the script
Enbies, creating loopholes since forever
Not today Justin
occasionally subtle
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styofa doing anything
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@mostlydeadaccount
i became cis for a hot sec and now non binary people can’t die so how do i fix cub dying
this was a trick on @blindillusionist end to bring cub back somehow this was not in the script
Enbies, creating loopholes since forever
holds u key pls i am Begging for more hbomb content of any variety.
Bet be careful what you wish for though who knows what this leads to.
Hbomb heard the beel ring and glanced over to the door. Oh, Sapnap. He hoped He was doing well. He hadn't shown up in quite a while, understandabble with everything that had been going on.
He was with someone else he hadn't seen before. It wasn't Karl. He usually came in with Hbomb to shop for some second-hand sweaters. The fiancees were his favorite customers, always leaving a huge tip. He had no clue what the kids did to get the money, but it must've been something important. Trust fund babies if you asked him.
"Sapnap, welcome back. Who's your friend?" Hbomb called out.
Sapnap walked up to the counter and grabbed the other mans hand. Alarm bells rung in his head. Hold on a minute. "This is my fiancee, Quackity. He wanted to see the store for once. I always talk about how great it is, might as well show him.
Hbomb swallowed a lump in his throat. "Where's Karl?"
"At home, he'll drop by another time I'm sure." Sapnap explained.
Oh gods, poor Quackity. He must have no idea. Hbomb had to do it. The guilt would eat him from the inside if he didn't say something. He looked Quackity in the eyes. "Sapnap is cheating on you."
Quackity paused, looked at Sapnap's shocked face, and burst out laughing. "Him, cheating on me? I would love to see him try. He would be dead before anything would happen, trust me."
Hbomb shook his head. "He's in here alll the time with Karl. Sorry, Sapnap, I have to say it. We may be friends, but this is right."
"H," Sapnap was serious. "I'm engaged to Quackity and Karl. I'm not cheating."
"What?"
"We're both engaged." Sapnap pointed his finger to the both of them. "And we're also engaged to Karl. Karl knows and is aware. He is very happy. We're glad this is going on."
"I don't get it." Hbomb looked at the two.
Quackity sighed. "I'm calling Karl. He can explain it."
Hbomb was afraid for Karl to show up. He hated fighting in his store. Especially among his regulars. If Sapnap was cheating, though he said they weren't. That made no sense to him.
The two wandered the store while they waited for Karl. Hbomb was probably more nervous than both of them. In fact, neither seemed nervous.
"Hey guys, what's up?" Karl bounced in. He didn't say a thing about Quackity and Sapnap holding hands. He just grabbed Sapnap's other hand. Sapnap looked at him as if to say "See, I told you so."
"Remember when we first really liked each other but Quackity was confused about the three of us. Yeah, that's Scott right now. Please explain it before I throw him at Scott and Jimmy myself." Sapnap sat the three down at the corner table.
Karl waved the store owner over. "So, Hbomba, have you heard of the word polyamory before?"
.....................................
Hbomb closed the store early after the three left. He had thoughts to write down and a date to plan. First, how to tell Scott he remembered his past life.
@funsizedadvil
@blindillusionist @crumchysocks “i hate it here” why would you hate something like this
did i mention it’s titled “let you go and move on”
I’m gonna hunt you for sport
hshdksbdjsks
Fuck you key/lh
I GOT TO THE PART ABOUT ISKALL AND THE ALMOST IMMORTALITY AND I- ? AUTHOR YOU TOLD ME EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY ?? HEART BEEN BROKE SO MANY TIMES IIIII DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVEEE. - blindillusionist's friend who is still reading but has only seen like one episode of hermitcraft
AHHH HELLO ITS YOU WHO GAVE ME THE GOOD IDEA FOR HBOMB
if this is you’re intro to hermitcraft…i am so so sorry i promise the videos are so much more light hearted except maybe ren sometimes with his lore
Dadvil be prepared for it to escalate
impossible i would never make anything bad happen
It’s all going to be okay
Also I’ve gotta say, technically Socks isn’t the only one, I’ll answer to Harley or Pancake lmao
I answer to key or lock we all have two names when someone calls
I'll go by Wild or Joey
I go by sparrow but socks is such a fucking funny name I’ve been given so I am accepting either
socks is too iconic by now
For the record, I go by Quinn, but when Joey called me Blind I laughed for a solid two minutes straight so that works too
guys it’s okay joe has a friend now
Key this is not okay
I’m trying to sleep what happened
about that
what. happened.
🦀 Zedaph is gone 🦀
HOW?!?
Just reblogged it so if I show up on your dash you should see it
alright
key goddamnit this is NOT OKAY
OOPS
right, i just logged on again, anybody else dead/traumatized?
UHHHHHH
answer.
Cub is dead
Puffy isn’t dead yet but is not having a good time
Jimmy’s back be very messed up
Zedaph isn’t back back but
Pearl almost burned away the ozone layer
alright which one of you fuckers caused this
I did the first two
Flower harem anon got Jimmy out
I also take partial responsibility for what’s happening with Zed
And I think the last one was the ask of a random anon Key just decided to add that into
how to make angst; leave annons and hermitblr in one room, wait 24hrs, enjoy.
hermits bring back third life so we don’t have to make our own
Honestly that sounds like an au idea, anons and hermitblr make up a totally plausible third life storyline
plot twist i’m grian and telling you the plot of third life
So you admit it, it was scripted
guys it’s okay joe has a friend now
Key this is not okay
I’m trying to sleep what happened
about that
what. happened.
🦀 Zedaph is gone 🦀
HOW?!?
Just reblogged it so if I show up on your dash you should see it
alright
key goddamnit this is NOT OKAY
OOPS
right, i just logged on again, anybody else dead/traumatized?
UHHHHHH
answer.
Cub is dead
Puffy isn’t dead yet but is not having a good time
Jimmy’s back be very messed up
Zedaph isn’t back back but
Pearl almost burned away the ozone layer
alright which one of you fuckers caused this
I did the first two
Flower harem anon got Jimmy out
I also take partial responsibility for what’s happening with Zed
And I think the last one was the ask of a random anon Key just decided to add that into
how to make angst; leave annons and hermitblr in one room, wait 24hrs, enjoy.
hermits bring back third life so we don’t have to make our own
Honestly that sounds like an au idea, anons and hermitblr make up a totally plausible third life storyline
Hullo love this au! But I'm not really too fond of Gem right now, I mean her reasons are valid and all but please pick a fight with someone you own size or at least power level. Maybe I'm just biased, but I just really love Zedaph. (Also to the person who sent the ask that led to this moment, I hope you're alert 'cause I'm going to hunt you down, nothing personal I just really want Zed in an alive state and you've ruined it... /hj) -Time
@blindillusionist time is coming for you watch your back
Hi Time!
Don’t hunt me down? Please and thanks
P please what happens to Zed 0~0 [love your writings]
Zed sprints down the street. He doesn't know what he did to piss the gods off this time, but he was sick and tired of him running his life. Running the lives of his friends. He didn't ask to be connected to them.
"YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME ZEDAPH, NOT ANYMORE!" He heard her voice through the wind. Wicked goddess. He did this. Fate cursed him. He had to hide and cower his entire life. It was at the end he could fight. He was going to go down a warrior.
"What do you want?" He yelled back. If she wanted to battle, he would. Hopefully no other students were on campus. He didn't want anyone caught in the crossfire. Then again, they didn't have any choice. Their fate decided it.
"I want your blood on my hands. I want to know it was me who saved my friends from you and your god." She glared at him, eyes glowing green. He could feel the raw power from her anger. It was terrifying. He knew he was screwed, but he couldn't care. He knew Impulse was safe, and that was what mattered.
"I haven't done anything to you, it's the god you want. I don't want anything to do with him. Go kill him, not me."
The goddess smiled. "You don't understand, silly human. To kill him, I have to kill you. I will get revenge for everyone you have ever harmed. No one will have to suffer anymore."
"You and fate have kept everything I care for, over and over again. Yet here you live, under the protection of gods. You live out of harms way when the two I love must suffer. You think that's fair." Her hair was flying. He couldn't see her expression, but he knew it would freeze him to the spot if he could see it.
Clouds were swirling. He could see a storm was beginning to form. He was coming. If he could just stall, he would be okay. He hated the gods and everything they stood for, but he was always there. He would always safe him, he had to. He was bound to him.
"I don't care what's fair or not, I want you to leave me alone!" He shouted over the wind. He should've left when he found out Impulse was friends with gods. He just cared about him too much. He was so stupid.
Gem chuckled darkly. "Humans, you think you're so big and bad. You're nothing compared to a god. You're small and insignificant."
"Fine," He grited his teeth. "Do your worst, goddess." He spat out the last word, as if it burned his tongue.
Gem watched Zedaph run at her, prepared to fight till he went down. She raised her hand, moving the earth effortlessly.
Zedaph was gone before she even had to think. She would have to apologize to Cleo for the extra soul, Gem knew how much the goddess of death hated unnecesssary paperwork.
She stared at the place Zedaph once stood, a single tear falling. "Hell hath no fury like a goddess scorned."
@blindillusionist you’re practically asking for stress to die imma get to that ask when i make sure ren doc scar grian and pearl are good
DO NOT TOUCH MS STRESSMONSTER
I DRAW THE LINE AT STRESS
DAMN OKAY EVEN SOCKS SAYS NO I WONT KILL STRESS
DO IT DEATH LOST CONSEQUENCES LONG AGO MAKE IT PEARLS FAULT WITH THE SAPNAP ASK LORE SHE'LL COME BACK AND ICE ELEMENTAL
LISTEN TO JOEY, DEATH DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING IN THIS AU
(this does not have to be canon i just thought it’d be sweet!)
Grian is alone, which is exactly how he wants it. He wants to sit in the darkness, missing the silvery other half of his soul, missing the friend he’s responsible for vanishing. He knows it was his fault, he does, and he’d trade his own stupid godhood for the chance to stop this stupid chance event. The sun can go to hell, for all he cares. The gods can give the light to Pearl. She deserves it. She’s so much brighter than he is and yet so much less scorching. Calmer.
The gods don’t need him, he tells himself, and he fades, tripping through reality after reality, watching a golden-haired boy and two girls, one raven-haired and one with fluffy locks the color of the dusk, make their way through life after life after life. He knows that he’ll never get to the life he’s actually lived. Every time he snaps back to the blackness, he remembers less and less about himself. He is golden-haired, and they are the colors of the night sky and the bright dawn, and he has to disappear. He knows that. And so he keeps going.
(Jellie is missing, and Scar is trying so hard not to panic. He really is. But the dorm’s been so empty, lately, it’s so… lonely… and Jellie, his lovely, not-as-chubby-because-she-went-on-a-diet cat, the darling of the school, is missing. He knows that cats do this sometimes, and he remembers that Grian once had cats who had run off. Scar puts out her favorite bed and a can of luxury wet food, and he waits. He puts on music, but the pictures around the dorm don’t help the loneliness much.)
Jellie knows exactly where she needs to be to help her human. He is silly, most of the time, and the red-sweatered one makes him laugh in the late hours of the night when they’re both drinking things that she knows they definitely shouldn’t (really, even cats know that energy drinks smell like death. Jellie doesn’t understand how humans willingly consume them.) Recently, the red one, bright and enthusiastic, has been missing, and her human has been sad. She knows because he gave her extra catnip, and he never does that when he’s not upset. So she goes looking for him. It doesn’t take long. He’s stationary, curled up into a ball in a chair. The greenhouse lady, the one who gives her sweet berries, is watching over him, and when she sees Jellie she reaches down for ear scratches. Jellie loves ear scratches, but this time, she has a mission, and so, upsettingly, she dodges the friendly hand of the greenhouse lady. Curse her beloved human. He’d better give her so much catnip for this. She carefully curls herself around the drooping foot of the red-sweatered one (currently missing his trademark red sweater, which Jellie thinks is a shame. It’s very cozy, good for a bed) and goes to sleep. She’s prepared for the darkness that follows, because Jellie always knows exactly what to do to make her human happy.
Grian does have an Achilles heel for soft things. He also has a soft spot the size of the Pacific Ocean for Scar, even if they haven’t spoken much lately, and if possible, his love for Scar’s grouchy, aristocratic cat, Jellie, is even bigger. He can’t help it. They’re such an odd pair. And when he starts seeing a cat with the same “little bit of red in her” that Scar always mentioned (he’s not sure who that is, or when he’ll show up in the cycle, but the name feels warm on his tongue), well. The cat is so familiar, and he’s pretty sure he adores the fluffy animals. He is guilty already, what’s one more look up?
(Scar really, really misses Jellie. But, he realizes, as he gazes at the portraits, he knows she’ll find her way home. She always does. His friends… humans are more temperamental. You can’t exactly lure them back with catnip, can you? But… you can offer them a home again. Just because they have new friends doesn’t mean that they won’t return, just like Jellie, but he has to let them know they’re welcome. He stands up, still staring at the photo that Impulse took of all five of the roommates at the lakeside, just before Grian shoved Mumbo into the water and Scar fell in on his own from laughing so hard. They won’t come back unless he tells them that he misses them. He turns tail and runs out of the room, leaving the bed and the food at the window.)
Jellie is good at what she does. The red-sweatered human is stubborn, and fading fast, but she’s the best sweet talker this side of the universe, and so she follows him, watching his lives and progress. The greenhouse lady and the kind raven one show up a lot, which Jellie could have predicted even if she wasn’t here. She’s not blind. Their bond goes soul-deep. Eventually, the bright one turns to face her in the dark. “Why are you here?” She doesn’t respond, because she’s a cat, and he wouldn’t understand her. She just sits down and meows, cuddling up to his leg. He sputters a little, but when he bends down, he knows exactly where her favorite scritching spot is. Jellie purrs, smug. There it is. The red-sweatered one sighs and sits down. “How do I leave?” he asks quietly. “I don’t… I don’t think I want this. I don’t… I don’t quite know where I came from, though, much less how to get back.” If Jellie could laugh, loud and wide like her human does, she would. Because she knows the way back. Because Jellie always, always knows what’s best for her humans.
When Grian wakes up, groggy and not quite himself, all lens flare and sunrise-purple light, five people are in the bay. He doesn’t immediately have all their names, but there is the raven-haired woman, the rosy dawn, a man whose hands look like they’re either covered in blood or some suspicious red powder, a man who looks like he just woke up and ran here on foot, half-dressed and in different fashion styles entirely, and a man with green eyes holding a happy gray cat.
No, this is the ending I want. Luna, you are so amazing. This was absolutly beautiful and better than anything I could’ve come up with.
This is beautiful and I love it
@blindillusionist you’re practically asking for stress to die imma get to that ask when i make sure ren doc scar grian and pearl are good
I’ve reached this if you can’t beat them then join them mentality when it comes to angst asks, no mercy for stress I say
Moments after, Scott and Jimmy hear Iskall's name screamed from around the corner. Then the sound of breaks, a thud, and Iskall's name again, louder this time. They run around the corner and see Grian and Pearl and... Iskall limp on the road with the duo running to him. Grian gets there first. Jimmy goes to help, but Scott is frozen. Not at the sight of Iskall like that, but the two others present. Even before it happens, he can feel their power about to erupt.
"Do you know any of the students?" Jimmy askes.
Scott nodds. "Everyone goes to Hbomb's thrift shop. He knows everyone so I know everyone. Ren works at the cafe we're going to."
Jimmy swung their hands. "Hopefully thay have good smoothies. I haven't had one in a while."
Scott is about to reply, but sees a sprinting figure across the street. Is that Iskall? Grian is following him he thinks.
It happens in slow motion. Tires screech and Iskall turns to look. Scott won't ever forget the look of shock he has. Then he's flying through the air and a horn is beeping. Someone is screaming and Scott thinks it might be him
Grian and Pearl are on their friend in an insteant. He can hear the begging and the denial. Jimmy grabs him, out of fear or comfort he can't tell.
Scott felt the incoming wave before it happened. He had to get all of the humans in the surrounding area away. He was the god of victory, he could come out as a champion. He moved and-
Grian let out an earth shattering scream. WWaves invisible to the human eye rolled off him, and a second later Pearl's powers joined in. Windows shattered and pavemeknt cracked. Iskall's body, the one closest to the new gods, vanished instandtly.
Jimmy was right behind Grian. He just wanted to help. All Jimmy ever wanted to do was help. That's a reason Scott loved him. He's sure that's why Hbomb would have loved him as well.
The wave hit Jimmy, and he was gone. Maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him and he was hiding. He was behind an overturned car. He hadn't joined all of the other mortals who just dissappeared. It wasn't true.
Jimmy wasn't gone.
He stared at Grian. He glared at the sun. The one who took his love away. That's the thing about gods, they only take. They always take from him. He always hurts. As long as he's with the gods, they will never stop taking.
It’s even more confusing when Iskall comes in a few days after Etho said goodbye, looking confused as fuck
Etho had woken up from Bdubs dream just a bit ago. He wished he hadn't. Grian had been put to sleep as well, and was still asleep. Not only was he blaming himself, but the man had just fallen into his powers as the Sun God. An emotional god out of control had to be captured until things could...calm down.
Etho was glad it had never happened to him. Even Bdubs couldn't give Grian a dream, his mind was everything, most likely reliving his past life. He did mention something about crossing minds? He had no clue. It wasn't important at the time.
Now, he had to worry about how he would even stay in this room. He couldn't turn from the wall without seeing something of Iskall's. He couldn't even look at his own belongings, his friend was imprinted on those as well. He was seeing phantoms in places he shouldn't. He was going to start hearing things.
"Etho."
Yep, there it is. Iskall had said his name in exasperation like that so many times. Etho, don't forget your book. Etho, don't get run over by a car. Whose the asshole that got run over now?
"Etho, why aren't you in class."
Etho's eyes shot open. It's not possible. It can't happen. Iskall didn't ask him that question because Etho always went to class. Even if he was sick, he still went.
He didn't see Iskall die, not exactly, the gods took him away. it was custom if a human under a god's protection died. But it shouldn't be possible and Iskall shouldn't be here. There wasn't a god walking around that could-
They didn't.
But they did.
He just doesn't know who.
And there he was, standing in a daze. He looked the same as when he last saw him. Bionic eye, green jacket, boots on the carpet floor damnit now there's dirt.
Etho doesn't cry, let's get that straight. Not even when the dog dies in movies. Iskall does a lot, especially when the dog dies. He calls Etho as cold as his hair looks.
So no, Etho is not crying when he jumps to hug Iskall. His eyes are just raining. He is allergic to his roommate. He hates his roommate. Hates him for leaving and making him think he's gone forever. Making him think all he had left were the memory dreams Bdubs put him in.
"What's gotten into you? Wha- are you crying? Etho! What's going on!" Iskall sounds so worried.
"You're so stupid." Is all Etho can say.
Iskall gasps. "You spoon, how dare you insult Iskallman?"
Etho half laughs-half cries. He was going to kill whoever hid him awar for this long, and hug whoever brought him back.
Then he notices something that stops him in his tracks, something that fills him with confusion, horror, and relief. Iskall is alive, that much is true. But something came along with him.
Iskall is a god.
I've had this idea rolling in my head and today's angst has only made it worse. Every pantheon needs an inchained primal evil, so let's make it so.
Cleo enters the hall. The building she stands in far undersea. Once, this island was a great city, a hub of godly activity on earth.
Before her, at the end of the hall, decaying and falling to ruin, a young man lies in eternal slumber, a large mushroom grows from his head. She did not come for this man.
She came for the unchained and dormant elder god behind him, held in slumber due to his connection with the man. Two deep gashes form an X throught the god's mask like face, his mouth in eternal toothy grin with far too sharp of teeth.
She didn't have a chance to tell Xisuma the the gash her scythe leaves keeps shallower, otherwise requiring more effort for the same amount of damage, and heals much faster. That to hold XD they'd have to put aside the affects it would have on George mentally and make him a god sooner or later. Whatever Etho came in for cut her short.
Etho... with reminder of the god, his roomate came to mind. With it, came the hint Joe had given her long ago.
"The choice that will decide the end of this story will be left in the hands of a mortal. Etho will be the one to decide which mortal."
As she readies her scythe, the last thing XD said before being put in hold came to her mind as it so often was.
He had looked right after, and his eternal smile seemed to widen.
"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and in strange eons, even death may die."
Cleo looks behind her. "Joe, are you sure about this?"
Joe nods. "Do it."
"XD, wake up." Cleo demands.
The slumbering god raises its head. It looks around, taking in the three figures. "Goddess, what an unpleasant surprise."
"We're here for a trade." Cleo grits out. "You'll do it."
XD chuckles darkly. "Why of course. What other choice do I have? After you unfairly trapped me here and killed the god who gave me opportunity. Now, you sacrafice the one you care for most. How in character."
Cleo's hear t dropped. "It was never like that and you-"
Joe held up his hand. "It's okay Cleo. XD, I want you to trade my life for Iskall's. I want my story to finish."
"A god for a human." XD murmured. "How interesting. He will become a god, you know. Wisdom and Literature will return to the cosmos and a new god will rise. You will roam the fields for eternity."
Joe smiled. "There's no fitter ending to a heroes story."
XD nodded. "If you wish to go down this irreversable path, so be it. Come forward."
Joe and Iskall stepped forward. XD raised one hand to each of their heads, and immediately both felt excruciating pain. Joe felt his soul rip out of his chest and Iskall felt his slam back into his body. Iskall slumped forward, no longer a faded version of himself. Color returned to his skin, his eye lit up once more.
Joe stood in confusion, staring at the slumped figure. "Joe?" He heard a call behind him. That was his name, he thinks.
"I know you. We're...we're friends, I think. I know that orange and green." Joe watched the woman sob.
"Yes, Joe, we're friends. Come with me, I'll tell you the story of the best man I ever know." Cleo send XD back into his slumber and commanded Phil to take Iskall to Etho. She had an eternety of stories to tell.
i always know when someone new found the au because someone liked or reblogged the very first one then its like 10 notifs of that same person going through the tag.
They don't know what's coming for them. They don't realize the angst.
You don’t say
@blindillusionist 1) i won’t confirm or deny 2) CUB IS IN THE AU NOW THATS FOR THE SUGGESTION
He fucking died.
But Cub, I bet he’s in one of Techno’s mythology classes, knows all about Egyptian mythology?
quinn i am looking at your tags YOU KEEP PREDICTING THINGS
FUCK I DONT WANT TO