Show me a permanent state of the self mom

#when im using my customer service vernacular i say 'y'all'#but thats because being a bit southern means people treat you better

My classmates and I started calling each other 'lads,' which is great considering we're in a suburban area that is decidedly Not British

If Sherlock Holmes was Isekai'd to a fantasy world he would just deduce the rules of this world and get back to solving crimes. He'll find an elf girl sidekick,name her Watson, and pretend like nothing happened.

ironmyrmidon

"If you look closely, you can see traces of chalk dust on the floor. Our murderer must have used a magic circle to kill our victim."

"Actually Holmes, this looks like salt. Quite unusual for a magic circle, since it can be scattered so easily..."

"It tastes like salt too. Good eye Watson. Let us start by visiting the fish mongers."

"Well I would enjoy some fried dragonfish, but how does this help our investigation?"

"A process of elimination, my long-eared friend. There're only two ways for the culprit to get salt in the city. They could have brought it in themselves-"

"But then they'd have to pay the tarrif!"

"Very astute! No, a much likelier option is that they bought it here. Either the docks or the meat market would be the place. And I have a hunch that our culprit is fishy in more ways than one."

"But Holmes, how did you know the merfolk ambassador was the killer?"

"An excellent question, the key was the footprints."

"But he doesn't even have feet!"

"He doesn't as of right now. But you forget, the magic circle."

"I see! The killing spell was a water spear, which normally requires a circle."

"But doesn't if you're already imbued with water magic like our scaly ambassador."

"So the circle..."

"To grant him a pair of feet. For just long enough to leave distinctive footprints in the scattered salt and to make us suspect a two-legged killer."

"By the Goddess, Holmes, you're a genius!"

illuminopseudonymous

Makes sense.

Anyway, getting sheer autism vibes from Holmes

Good. That means I wrote him in-character.

fruitpeels

deedee-sunflowers

Ok but what if they both get isekaied, and Watson is on the other side of the fantasy continent with a dwarf he’s nicknamed Holmes

jedipirateking

@fruitpeels look look look! Another good idea!

marshmallowpuff-blogs

They meet up in the middle of the continent. Happy reunion, Holmes the Dwarf and Watson, the elf girl, start their own adventures, solving crimes together.

There's a gag about whichever group arriving in a place and people being confused.

Somebody: but weren't Holmes and Watson a dwarf and elf.

Sherlock: Why yes!

Watson: Ah, you mean our good friends.

#sherlock holmes #i grew up reading sherlock and was disappointed over and over again that he was done so dirty in the media #this is lovely

Such poetic cinema that Tumblr has moved on from Edgelord BBC Sherlock and returned to the eccentric, autism-coded, unflappably gentleman Sherlock from the books. It makes me so happy

Why are we happy as clams? Why are clams the metric? Have the bivalves discovered the secret to enduring joy despite the rocky shoals of life?

#tell me your secrets #clams #have the clams found Jesus?#Jesus clams?????

ad-wills

southernsolarpunk-deactivated20

I am Yes

Original

ashstfu

WHY THE FUCK do people have a problem with smile lines ?? you don’t like that your face shows evidence of you being happy??? why are you so afraid of aging to the point that ur afraid to smile? this is not okay

ashstfu

“i try not to laugh too much because i’m afraid of deepening my smile lines.” what a sorry way to live

entryn17

whitepeopletwitter

I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

I have never heard of this band. I AM in fact referring to the animal.

But wait, there’s more!

djkoenig-deactivated20140905

thewriterswitch

delektorskichick

@thebibliosphere

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

chronically-ill-dandy

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby. I got yo flower.”

kahguyaht

i found it

the original post

i found it

eviesrealitychangesdaily-deacti

this should have the opportunity to be on everyone’s blog.

i-wanna-diepacito-deactivated20

I hope you guys are happy. You have no idea about the lengths I went to to find this post and get it on my blog.

smooththegoofyshark

Everyone on this post is deactivated, this is like finding a fossil

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

lord-hunkyhair

@hellsite-hall-of-fame @hellsite-hall-of-girlfriend

misscrazyfangirl321

Thinking about... Grieving the undead.

misscrazyfangirl321

You aren't dead, but you're moving 12 hours away.

You aren't dead, but you're leaving our friend group.

You aren't dead but you've moved to a different state and now we text twice a year.

You aren't dead but you blocked me.

You aren't dead but we stopped talking, not on purpose but so long ago that I wouldn't even know what to say to you now.

You aren't dead but you're a stranger to me now.

You aren't dead but we lost touch and now I don't even remember your username.

You aren't dead but I ended things with you and now we never speak.

You aren't dead but I still have to grieve you. Whether I'd change it if I could or not, you're still a presence that I'm used to and now you won't be there anymore.

And so I grieve.

soup-enthusiast

brainstatic

A little advice from someone studying extremist groups: if you’re in a social media environment where the daily ubiquitous message is that you have no hope of any kind of future and you can’t possibly achieve anything without a violent overthrow of society, you’re being radicalized, and not in the good way.

embervoices

If the solution to your problems sounds like “we need a blank slate” it’s a lie. There are no blank slates, and the closest approximation people can generally imagine is “burn it all down and let God/fate/history sort it out”.

That’s not problem solving. It’s barely catharsis, in practice. It doesn’t just create more problems than it solves, it destroys more solutions than it creates.

Put the apocalypse down, and back away slowly.

Real solutions to complex, systemic problems are not so easily reduced to “us good, them evil; kill them.”

justaslime

Van Helsing in movie adaptations: Dracula's nemesis

Van Helsing in the book: Dracula's real estate lawyer's wife's girlfriend's fiancé's boyfriend's university professor