the sky
I tried describing some place through the perspective of a character, I didn't write much fiction and none in English so far so if you have any criticisms I'd love to find out, especially if it's grammar related. I think this particular text is quite heavy on adjectives, usually I would cut down on some of that, but I'm trying to use a third person limited narration that speaks in the voice of the character it is following at the moment and she's just very artsy.
She decided to go on a walk. It felt strange that nobody watched her. Were they not worried that she would just run away? Surely if she brought enough food and water with her she could hike through the forest for a few days, or maybe meet some big enough animal willing to help her out, she’s done this before. Or if the forest was too dangerous, surely, somebody would have told her not to go in there, if they need her so badly. For now, the plan exclusively entailed getting a bit more familiar with the area, she was way too tired to run. She looked around to make sure nobody is watching her, but didn’t see or hear anybody.
If she wasn’t held here against her will, she would definitely enjoy the site, it seemed quite heavenly. On the outside the palace was golden and so smooth it reflected the fiery magenta sunset, heavily contrasting with the part of the sky that was still blue. Its shine was so bright that it was painful to look at after having a moment ago come out of a somewhat dark hall, but she couldn’t resist feasting her eyes on all the intricate golden details. Everything was so theatrical, artistic and extravagant, from the walls and stairs to the flower pots and even the curb separating the blueish pavement from the freshly cut lawn. Most of the ornaments featured plants or animals, some others depicted supernatural, legendary creatures.
The garden surrounding the palace was a very quiet, breathtakingly beautiful place. She saw a few people taking care of it, but they didn’t say a word to her or even payed much attention to her presence in the first place. All she could hear was her own steps and the sound of splashing water in the big fountain she passed by. Still, she slowed down to avoid looking suspicious and to appreciate the beauty of the work of art that was this garden. She hasn’t seen anything like it before and being a plant lover herself she was tremendously impressed, this place must have taken an army of gardeners and a fortune to create and maintain. Most of the brightly colourful plants she saw there seemed unfamiliar. As she kept on sauntering, various sweet, floral and sytrusy fragrances hit her nose. Everything seemed very well thought out and balanced, and yet gave the impression og being organic, without the repetitive symmetrical shapes one would expect from a royal garden. Still, the incredibly colourful roses covering a golden trellis she strolled past were clearly hand drafted to look like this. It was a vividly tinted mosaic, a collaboration between nature and design. She noticed small cerulean birdhouses in the blossoming trees. “That’s a great sign”, she thought, “the birds may know things”. She couldn’t help but stop by a dark wine coloured peony bush and gently grab one of the soft flowers and pull it towards her face. Only then she realised just how much she missed this smell and texture and everything they represented. They were exactly the same as the ones in her grandmas backyard.
After a few minutes of meandering and gazing at the greenery she finally reached the oddly short, ornamented to resemble vines, golden fence. She looked around to make sure nobody was watching her and began climbing, grabbing onto the cold smooth metal and positioning her feet in between the sculpted branches. After hardly a couple of seconds, she jumped to the other side and quickly ran ahead to hide between the trees. She then wandered through the woods, careful not to trip on the thick veins of roots sticking out from the ground. The trees towered high, as if they were trying to reach the blossoming clouds illuminated pink by the setting sun. There was no trodden path so she grabbed the hem of her silky dress with one hand to avoid dragging it across the carpet of dead leafs creaking under each of her footsteps. She didn’t walk far before she noticed more and more strong light peaking from in between the trees. The forest was not nearly as deep as she assmuned it could be and it ended quite abruptly. She continued plodding through long grass tickling her feet, realising that she’s approaching some edge.
The sky looked weird. She moved warily closer and closer to the edge and noticed that the air around her was getting colder and colder. Something very close was buzzing like thousands of invisible bees. She couldn’t see anything beyond the edge, only the flat sky. It resembled a glowing wall. It wasn’t real. She tried touching it with her finger and felt the static, similar to that of the old TVs. She quickly pulled her hand back in shock, but doubting her own sanity decided to try touching the “sky” again. It felt like hundreds of little ants were crawling all over her skin. It wasn’t painful in any way, but the knowledge she only now possessed made her stomach turn.
-What are you doing here? - she heard a deep voice from behind.
